Epona's song: .com/watch?v=MRT7L3913BU
Tara's song: .com/watch?v=iwQVTBrd6sc
Tara danced.
Badly.
But with enormous enthusiasm. A girl laughed. Brown hair and ruddy skin and large liquid eyes faced Tara. "I can't believe I got you to dance! C'm here! Dance over here!" She means dance with me. Beside her, her friend grabbed at her "Annie! Annie! Annie! Dance with me!" The girl ignored her and smiled at Tara. Tara darted a foot closer… but no more. Finally, the girl beside Annie captured her attention again. The girl's eyes were riveted to Annie, hawkish. She danced and swayed her hips, a forearm away from her friend. She ignored Tara completely. Ah. Poor girl… Tara darted back and spun around. Pain lanced up her knees. Gods curse Weatherwax and her bloody farm... I'm not a bloody mule! The pain itself was meaningless, but it prevented anything elaborate until she healed. She couldn't stand being a second more in that farm. At least the bloody old bat will be tired tomorrow, and I'll have a day off. Tara felt a wordless spark of anguish. I do what has to be done!
The girl eyes returned to her. "You dance like my grandparents!" Tara half-smiled, and spun on a heel like a top. Almost immediately, the other girl grabbed at Annie's arm. "Annie! Annie! Annie!"
O=o=o=o=o=O
Annie was rubbing her friend's back in the inn's washroom when Tara entered it. Sobs and other, uglier sounds spasmed out as the girl leaned her head over a bucket. "I don't have a boyfriend yet! I'm going to die a virgin!" The wail was cut short and she heaved into the bucket again. Annie shushed her, and rubbed. She turned her head to Tara. "I'm sorry… she can't leave just yet…" The girl's wail began again. "Everyone hates me!"
Tara was quite drunk, so it was quite easy to do what followed. She created a poem on the spot and spoke it. But since she was quite drunk, it was somewhat lacklustre. Yet… when sung to a rhythm of tears…
Oh bucket girl, there's one voice here
That clearly holds you dear
So take comfort tonight
As Annie holds you tight
The sudden silence startled. The girl went still. Annie smiled tightly at Tara, a spark of fear and wonder in her eyes. "You know, that was cute." Tara said nothing.
That's exactly what she said…
"Please, don't worry about the washroom. Excuse me. I saw a few nice trees out back." The crying was gone, and Annie resumed rubbing her friend's back. Annie won't love you girl… I'm sorry, but it's plain to see.
Tara shrugged. None of my damn business. Time to go pay my respects to nature.
O=o=o=o=o=o=O
The girl leaned back from her book with a sigh. "I'm so bad at this! Women just aren't as intellectual as men." Epona nodded. "Oh yes, and if I had a sheet of paper, I could prove it to you." The girl stared at her, before smirking. "Hah…" Epona continued "but let's see if I can do it anyway."
She raised her finger into the sky. "Imagine a mystic device filled with power. It turns on," she traced a horizontal line in the sky."And then off…" and traced a vertical line down, and then continued her horizontal line. It was hand beneath the first line. "And on…" She raised her finger vertically and then continued her interrupted line. She repeated the trace four more times. An invisible square tooth wave hung between them. "A woman couldn't possibly understand this, obviously. Girls are more suited to understand clothe and knitting… imagine you want to connect two cloths pieces together… you put your needle in one piece… and go up" Epona poked her finger into the sky, and traced a vertical line up "…back out…" Epona turned her finger inward "…across…" she traced a horizontal line "…back in… and then down into your first piece." Her finger went down, and poked again."Now you want to make it hold…" She repeated the motion another four times. Epona considered the to two waves, feeling the corners match. The waves seemed superimposed when seen from the side, all corners matched. From the sides, one felt more curvy. "Clearly, women couldn't do the first one, but the second one they understand."
The girl couldn't feel the curves as Epona could, but she had seen the finger trace the same path twice. Her mouth was slightly open and she stared into space. Maybe she can see the lines? Should I talk of amplitude and wavelength? No, she's just starting.
Epona felt a small joy. "See? This line is good," she made a zigzag in the sky, "and this one is bad." She made another zigzag beneath the first. "We're bad at that one…" She waved a hand through both. "and men are good at this one… wait… umm… well the point is, one is good, the other bad… and this one is… well… ah… So you see, this is why it's important to label things." Epona looked at her to see if she understood.
The girl averted her gaze into her book with a flustered smile on her face. "Can… you tell me what's wrong with this? The teacher didn't say." She pulled out some sheets of paper. Epona glanced at it, looking at a red marks etched on the blue ink. "You didn't giving meaning to them at the start. Those have to equal something… they have to have meaning. The runes won't work if they don't have meaning. Now, here, two things have the same meaning… but you meant left-right here and up-down there. You have to think."
The girl seemed more flustered. "What do you do?" Epona's happiness tinged with shadow. "I'm a student." …without a school. The girl seemed at a loss for words. Epona didn't want to find any. "Well… I have to go. Good luck!" Epona walked away… I was lucky to find this place. The town was too small for a library, but the town square had benches and tables, and many people came to read and talk beneath the trees.
The sending of letters and poems was the great pastime of Roma. Landowners couldn't leave their land and slaves behind… but letters flew in their stead. The town, while not truly Romusi, seemed to relish this. Over head, iambs fly and fly.
Since that bitter night, everything seemed so gray. I could use some wondrous white. Or at least, bitter black. She sat on a shaded bunch and took out her new treasure. For only a few depondius… a true book. The author hadn't played around either. She had taken worked on this subject matter before, with other books, but they were all shadows to this one. It hadn't been cobbled together from other, lesser books. Whoever wrote this spent at least ten years on it. He tries to connect to everything... with a single burning lens. True sorcery, shorn of color and worldly thoughts. How did a book like this get here? Someone had gone through it already, circling some passages with a light, grey line... but every page was pristine. It had been bought, but never touched and pondered.
At some time, someone had been deathly afraid of this book.
To Epona, it was treasure second only to the story book Tara had given her. But it's exhausting. First, she had to learn what the symbols meant. Then, understand a bit of the knowledge within… which was useless without the appropriate tools. Tools I will never get. Roma would never bother giving tools of power to someone unless mastery was already in place. In typical Romusi folly, Roma spent only a fraction of its wealth on creating what had founded its wealth. Epona, and others like her, needed more. Unless it's the healing arts or the army, Roma doesn't give a fig. Or the coliseum. Why would the magus bother with a flawed diamond from home when they can import hundreds of rough, eager diamonds from the east and south to do their busy work? Sorcery in bulk and on the cheap… how very… Romusi.
I'll get there eventually... because I love this knowledge... and, those far lands will keep their diamonds at home one day, and the flow of mines to Roma will run dry... and then the world will find equilibrium, perhaps even peace. It might even have a place for me.
Epona lost herself in her thoughts… and the book.
"Why hello! You're new here? I'm Manius!" A balding head, a smiling badly shaven mouth and intense dark eyes above it. "Hello. Not really, but I hardly come to town." He looked at the book, it pages filled with stark curves and dense text, blinked, and looked back to Epona. "Wow. That looks… hard. Do you get any of that stuff?" Epona smiled demurely. "I don't think anyone can be good at this sort of thing, only different levels of bad." He chuckled. "Yeah, well, I'm really bad at that stuff. So what do you do here?"
"I'm travelling with a friend. We're going to Roma… together." Epona felt tired suddenly. My kittycat... He nodded nervously. "Roma? Yeah, a great city. The biggest city anyway!" He laughed nervously. Epona couldn't laugh, but she nodded. "Have you've been there?" He laughed… a bit hollowly. "Yeah! Yeah… I went to the Academy there, for awhile." He looked away, but kept the smile. Is he a Wraith too? No… he doesn't have the coldness around him. "They have tea over there, and I'd love to hear about the Academies of Roma. Would you care for a cup?" He seemed to vibrate a second or two, and then "Sure!"
They walked to a small shed. A tiny, round woman had a large table set, and spicy foods spiced the air as steam curled up from a large pot over a small fire. And not the slightest drop of alcohol anywhere. Tara would be flabbergasted. Gael is the land of ale… but since most river water is sewage water too, its dangerous to drink water. So beer, well, that's not so bad. Beer, and milk.
But in Roma… we have tea!
They picked a tea tray, and Epona gave a few as to the woman. They returned to a table this time, and Epona added three spoons of sugar to her cup, swirling her spoon around. "Did you know Newton had his black, with sugar, in a big cup?" Manius stared at her. "Okay?" Epona smiled. "Spin a spoon in your tea cup… and as it swirls, it will create a parabolic mirror. So when you look down, you'll see far, far up… your own nose. Then you create a telescope out of your big cup… and realise you can't spin it with the constant speed. After wasting a lot of coffee." Manius chuckled a bit… and suddenly seemed afraid, as well. "The Academy I went to. They had a huge statue at the front. Some guy called Rutherford... you know him?"
Epona put her favourite mask on. Mister Feynman, would you please! The world sped up! "Oh yeah, that guy, he found the electron inside the atom. Well! You see, that guy, he said "THERE IS ONLY PHYSICS… and stamp collecting." He sounds like a great guy to be around! No, really, he does! I bet he's invited to ALL the parties." Manius laughed, and relaxed. "I stared up his nose every damn day! I did stamp collecting down there, that's for sure. I'm living with a cousin now. We have a place in town." He asked a few other questions, and Epona answered as best she could, but he seemed to be exhausted, and unable to do any repartee.
"Oh… I have to go. Well, nice talking to you. Say… if you're still around, you can come down. We can play some chess. I bet you've played a lot of that!" Epona smiled. "Not really." Because I had tried inventing my own game… but it was too complicated for the other kids. "But I'd love to play a game or two!"
He seemed a forlorn, lonely man. How many students did Rutherford kill with his experminents? His true laboratory is covered in cement…and will remain so. We start with the best of intentions…
"But the most important thing is position and strategy." I put myself in a losing position. If I'm madly in love we can't be friends. If I'm not… then… I'm not in love. Madly. But… what's left? She'll never understand Tara the way I can… but I'll never make Tara happy the way she can. It's black and white, clear as night, steer me to the light!
Epona closed her eyes, her hands clutching her book. I don't need her body… but her smile… oh… how I need that. With a sigh, she rose from her bench and walked home.
O=o=o=o=o=o=O
Tara stomped back to the wretched shack she shared with the bitter bat. Opening the door brought more disappointment. Epona hasn't cooked super yet? Hades swallow the brat! She glared around the house. It was surprisingly quiet. "Epona?" A small voice called out from Weatherwax's room. "Here…" Tara walked in. Epona was sitting beside a bed, her eyes large and liquid. The old woman was in bed, her face stiff. Tara froze. Oh gods, I leave for one afternoon and the old bitty dies where I can't see it. Something else seemed to speak up, but Tara quashed it.
"What happened?" Epona's voice was cool and controlled. "I came home… and Granny asked me to move some feed to the barn… but it was hard, and I was slow, so she started to help me." Epona took a small breath. "Only, she had more trouble than me, and got in the way… so she tried to go faster. I started screaming at her, telling her to stop. She didn't listen." Epona screamed? Tara had a vision of the slim girl glaring, tears in her eyes, at the stumbling old woman. Granny would have frozen, astonished and amazed, hunched over as she hobbled with cane in one hand, and bag dragging across the ground with the other.
For an eternity and a second, the two women would stare at each other, the only sound the wheezing of tired lungs. And then, Weatherwax would drop her eyes to the floor… and continue dragging the heavy feed bag… until… "S'not your fault Epona. It's mine… it's mine! I should have been here!"
Weatherwax spoke up. "I ain't dead, oaf. Anyway, I was already half way to the ground when I slipped." Epona shook her head. "You didn't 'slip' on anything Granny." The woman's lined face was pale. "My knee just… locked in place. Don't remember much after that."
Tara's own knees weren't doing so well either at the moment. Killing yourself over next to useless crap?
Tara's voice was caustic. "At your age, hauling heavy bags? What'd you think would happen?" Weatherwax didn't answer, her face a hard mask. Finally, she barked a bitter laugh. "So, here's my life advice: don't be an idiot. Now get out of my room. Don't touch anything."
Epona patted her softly. "I'll bring you something to drink." Her voice was soft.
Tara felt her throat suddenly tighten as she looked at the girl. Gods, she's so beautiful sometimes. Tara walked out behind Epona and watched in silence was Epona filled a mug with water from a kettle. She always insisted on first boiling any water they drank.
Epona's soundless tread returned. "Epona… I'm" The girl shook her head, curls swaying. "It's not your fault Tara. This would of happened sooner or later… we never stop learning, and pain is the teacher. Granny wouldn't listen." She looked at Tara then. "But I just wish you had been here to hold me… and tell me it would okay. Even if it was a just lie."
Tara shrugged uncomfortably. "Epona…" Epona's eyes were large and darkly green. "Tara… I love you. I don't care if you're with other women too."
Tara felt her face flushing. Oh gods, she's said it. "I can't."
Epona's eyes fell to the floor, her face calm and sad. "I know."
Silence fell. Tara felt trapped. Gods curse it! Why'd I say that? Epona smiled calmly, her eyes suddenly void of fire. "It's for the best. I'd like to have children one day." She laughed. It was an ugly.
"I wanted to have your children." Tara frowned, an icy chill crossing her. "Is… that a joke?"
Epona's sudden smile fell away and never would the night be as dark as that second.
"Epona… would… you like to… do something?" Tara's voice felt too bright and sharp.
"Goodnight Tara." The girl walked to the bedroom. Tara stayed where she stood.
Tara shook her head, shivering. Her confidence was always tested whenever Epona asked questions. She destroys and rebuilds everything she touches... Including herself. Including me. Would I be happier with Adalia? Like Tara, the woman was a leader in her own way. We'd fight a lot, that's for sure. So no...
I need to go home and see if she's still alive. I need to know. The broken body of her mother, on the floor. Her fingernails digging into her palms.
And if she isn't dead… I'll kill her.
O=o=o=o=o=o=O
Epona stared at the ceiling. Now, she's certain I'm insane. And I can't really disprove that, can I?
Her hand fell to her stomach. Insane. Disorder of thoughts. But I'm not insane. I've always been consistent. I just can't have what I want. The world however, is not consistent. So many pieces… why can't I just find another one, just as good as Tara? Better? Why so much passion for her?
A spear, a shield. Stern and resolute. It suddenly seemed clear as day to Epona.
"You don't belong to the Morrigan, Tara. You belong to Athena." Epona closed her eyes and tried to find sleep.