Jaina-Elessar: Thanks! The phrase du CitR really is "poor Zekk." Well—at least, until it's "poor Sanar" and "poor ", etc, etc… -g-.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

Chapter Seven: The Differences Between Twins

-x-x-x-x-x-

Tenel Ka was stretching in her private garden when she received news of Jaina's arrival. Her reaction was the expected one – disbelief – but a hesitant look to the Force confirmed the officer's words. Jaina Solo, defying all the universal laws of the Force and mortality, was alive.

The reluctant princess relaxed out of her current stance and stood, feeling her muscles tug for a brief moment before they accepted the change. Since the news of her friend's arrival, she had been pressing her body to work faster and harder than usual; the nervous energy helped.

For once in her life, Tenel Ka was not quite sure what she was going to do. Both Solo twins had died, but Jaina had come back. Tenel Ka knew she should be content – overjoyed, even – that her friend was alive, but over and over again one thought raced through her mind:

Why couldn't it have been Jacen who came back?

She forced Jacen's memory into a box, though, to cradle later. Hanging onto the past was a weakness – one she had thought herself immune to. She was ashamed to find herself wrong. Pride had always been her weakness, she knew that, but the warrior woman had hoped that she'd learned something after the loss of her arm.

No, she commanded herself. She was a warrior, and her friend was returning. Now was not the time to think on these things. She had to plan what she was going to do.

But she was at a loss.

Jaina's alive. Jaina died, but she's alive. Jacen's dead. He's never coming back.

And you didn't even tell him.

A growl of frustration escaped her, and Tenel Ka pushed her damp hair out of her face impatiently.

The idea that a friend could be brought back after death was not one Tenel Ka was accustomed to. What was she supposed to do? Would Jaina object to a medical exam, to make sure she really was alive and not a clone? Would Jaina understand if Tenel Ka remained as detached as possible?

Would Jaina…

Jaina was not aware of my feelings for Jacen, the warrior decided finally. It would be acceptable – forgivable – if I asked how he died…correct? She would understand if I didn't smile and tackle her the way I tackled Jacen, when he "came back from the dead" on Bespin. After all, Jacen and I were friends. We became close, while Jaina and I drifted a little. Jaina would not think it amiss if I…

If she…what? Collapsed, crying? If she asked Jaina to tell her everything, in an attempt to fill the cancer that was eating away at her heart?

In the end, the decision was taken from Tenel Ka. Jaina Solo and Diplomat Klamath appeared with surprisingly little warning; Tenel Ka was embarrassed that she had not heard – or sensed – their approach.

Tenel Ka turned when a twig snapped, and then Jaina was hugging her tightly. The normally stoic woman blinked and tentatively returned the embrace, though uncomfortable.

Jaina pulled back after a moment and wiped a tear away. "I never thought I'd see you again," she remarked, a crooked smile on her face.

Tenel Ka's grey eyes regarded her solemnly. "Nor I you." It took more strength than usual to meet Jaina's eyes. Almost as if she realized this, Jaina smiled and looked away.

"You wish it was Jacen who came back," Jaina said, quietly but bluntly. None of the sadness Tenel Ka felt in the Force came through Jaina's voice.

"I did not mean – "

Jaina chuckled, but it sounded forced. "I don't blame you; if it was me in your position, and it was Lowie or Zekk… Well, I might not be so quick to throw a party, either."

Tenel Ka tensed instinctively at Zekk's name, a movement that neither Jaina nor Garik failed to notice. The princess' lips thinned. "If you did not, then I would be the first to declare a holiday," she spat, turning away.

"There is a great difference between Zekk and Onyx," Jaina argued, her voice hard. "They are as different as you and your grandmother – or Anakin Skywalker and Darth Vader."

"He killed my mother."

That was all she said; Jaina flinched. "I know," she breathed, looking down. "And I'm sorry; I've been as affected as anyone by Onyx. He killed Anakin, enslaved me, paralysed me from the waist down…" Garik squeezed Jaina's shoulder. His meaning was clear: let Tenel Ka grieve.

Jaina sighed. She was beginning to seriously doubt bringing Zekk into this nest of enemies. Onyx deserved this – and more – but she didn't want to see Zekk torn apart any more than he already was.

"This isn't why I came," she said finally, not relishing what would come next. "Jacen…" Jaina took a shuddery breath. "He knew he was going to die."

Tenel Ka was eerily still, and her shielding completely blocked even Jaina.

"He – he gave me something for you. A holo. Here." Jaina held it out. When Tenel Ka still didn't react, Jaina's eyes flashed, her hand and the holo dropping to her side. "He loved you, don't you get it?" she demanded. "He loved you – and don't give me that bantha dung about how you didn't love him just as much! Force, you two… Urgh! How could you be so stupid?"

Tenel Ka turned around, probably to argue, but Jaina didn't let her speak. She had mentally resolved to not go into this territory (yet), but her anger and her own grief took the chance.

"You had love and, sorry, but I don't see a single excuse for your behaviour. It wasn't like me and Zekk – neither of you were out to kill the other."

Jaina stopped when she realized Tenel Ka's eyes were becoming suspiciously shiny. "I understand your frustration," the princess said in a way that implied this had hit a major pressure point. "However, it is…quite too late now."

Jaina's shoulders slumped. "Yeah, and I'm sorry for that," she said after a pause. "I think…I would have liked to have a sister."

Tenel Ka swallowed, but didn't reply. "May I…?" The princess' voice was strained. For once, Jaina caught the helplessness and pain in her friend's expression. Silently, Jaina held out the holo chip. Tenel Ka stared at it for a moment before taking it.

Garik touched Jaina's shoulder. "We should go," he whispered.

Jaina nodded. "I'm staying with my parents," she told Tenel Ka. "Call me if you need anything."

Any other time, Tenel Ka's gaze would have cut up. If it had been any other moment, she would have stated that "would not require assistance, thank you".

It struck Jaina again how different Jacen's love life was from hers.

She wondered, as she followed Garik out of the garden, who had had it better. Her brother, watching from afar, loving but never holding, up to the last minute of his life? Or she, who had loved and hated, prayed for and fought against the man she loved? Jacen had dreamed, safe in his unrequited love, but hurting all the same; he had had his love's friendship, and the encouragement of his family. Jaina had sacrificed everything, doubted everything, and because she loved the enemy she was cast away; her love had been solitary for years.

I would do it all over again, she answered herself barely a second later. I would.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

Please R&R!

.Tjz