AN: Honestly, I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Once again it has taken me months to write and publish the next chapter. I swear, I totally intend to finish this story, but I am a teenager trying to handle ballet, piano, acting, writing, singing, sweater knitting, school, AND taking care of a younger sibling. Seriously, the other day she accidently called me her parent, because I help take care of her. Long story short, it's going to take me a while. And for the gazillionth time, thank you for your patience, and thank you for still reading.
WARNING: I'm a little rusty, and despite my long break, this one was a little rushed. I hope it's okay!
Anyway...
OMGOODNESS, Weirdmagedon 2 was the cutest thing I have ever seen in my life. I couldn't breathe because I thought I was going to explode from how adorable Dipper and Mabel were. And then, there was the finale. IT WAS SO AWESOME! I can't wait to change it! Ha. Seriously, though. How do I make anything better than THAT? THAT WAS AMAZING!
Replies:
KittyCat151: Thank you! Also, that's an interesting idea. It might just work! I really appreciate your help, and thanks again for always being, like, the first to review.
MidnightPhantom84: I'm glad you liked it! Yes, I have seen the new episodes, and I love them so much! Especially Weirdmagedon Part II. THE FEELS!
Akira Yumeka: It wasn't too hard to read. Your review made me laugh, and seriously made my day. Thank you so much! I'm still not sure exactly what I'm doing for Mabel and Dipper vs. the Future (with its long title), but I like what you're thinking! Thanks again, I really appreciate your ideas!
The Epiltarian: Aw, I'm sorry! I think we've all been there. Thank you for reviewing!
Insane Wise-man: I don't know yet. I guess we'll see. Thank you!
ilya39: Thank you so much! I really appreciate your review and rating, and I hope you like this chapter, too!
doodles234: I'm glad you were able to find it. I'm curious, too, since I'm not sure what they will be like yet. But, I am excited to write "vs. the Future" and "Two Stans", and I hope you'll like them when I'm finished!
Noah Frisch: Thank you, again! I always appreciate your reviews. Thanks for sticking by me all this time, too. I hope you like this chapter! :)
Black ninja: Thanks for waiting, and here you go!
Guest: Thanks for making me smile. Here's another chapter!
Frooty Loops: Thanks, and I appreciate your input! I actually have been thinking about doing a Stan P.O.V. sometime. But I don't want to do it unless I make it a little different from the show, you know? Right now, I'm still figuring out what to do with the really interesting episodes (Two Stans, Mabel and Dipper vs. the Future, etc.), but once I do, I'd love to do more with Stan. Maybe I could do some in the Blind Eye, like you said. A Bill P.O.V. would be cool, too. Probably in the Weirdmagedon chapters! Thanks again for sharing your opinion, because it really matters to me, and sometimes it can really help my writing. I hope you like this chapter, and the future ones!
AppleRun: Aw, I'm so glad you liked it! Reviewers like you make me smile and are what keep me going, seriously. Thank you so much!
ZOmegaLupus: Thank you, I'm glad you liked it!
Guest: Aw, thank you too! I really appreciate reviews, and I'm so grateful to the people who read my story. When I started, I was just a kid, and I wasn't the best writer in the world. But everyone has been so nice and supportive, and I really feel like I've come a long way since my first chapter! :)
littlestmchenrys: Ha, Despicable Me! Seriously, though, thank you very much, I'm so glad you liked it!
A-Plus Cassiopeia: I'm glad you liked it! Thanks!
Al Drin Hoshizora: Oh, okay. Thank you!
doodles234: Honestly, I am having a little trouble figuring out what to do, but do I have a few ideas for the last few episodes. I can't tell you anything (sorry!), but if you have any ideas yourself, I'd love to hear them! As for Gravity Falls ending, I have mixed feelings about it. Of course I would love for the series to continue, but ending it here just feels right, you know? I'd rather have a really good ending now than have it go on with episodes that just aren't as good until we get sick of them. I'm happy with what we have. Besides, Gravity Falls will forever live on in the fandom, am I right?
I am a burglar: Well, have fun with that! :)
kinglyknight: I'm sorry the updates take a while, but I hope they're worth the wait! Thank you!
Mio: I'm glad you like it! Here's more!
N7Wrex: I know it took forever, but chapter 25 is finally here! I hope you like it, and thank you for your patience!
wizwitch42: Thank you so much! I really appreciate it!
william and jack and jake: Oh my goodness you reviewed, like, everything! Thank you so much for taking the time to review every chapter every time, even though it was short. I hope you like this chapter, too!
Mangamolly1991: Thank you!
QueenOfHearts13: Thanks you much! Sorry it took a while, but I hope you like this update!
shelwyn: Oops! I didn't mean to make you dislike her, I'm sorry!
TheMagicalAuthor: Well, thanks for giving me a chance! I'm so glad you like it!
Farkaskutya: Thanks!
Dipper
It was a typical day in the Mystery Shack, with Mabel skipping across the room, singing, "La, la, la, la, la- eh!"
She somehow managed to crash into the screen door. She tried to moved back, but she suddenly realized her braces were stuck in the wire. "Aaaaah! Aaaaaaaah! Braces! Braces caught in the screen door! Someone dictate my will, I'm giving it all to Waddles!" She screamed.
Soos walked up behind her, and held a screwdriver near her mouth. "Say aaah, girl-dude."
She opened her mouth. "Aaaah."
Soos used the screwdriver her pull the broken screen off her braces, and he lifted her up and away from the door.
"Soos! You saved me!" She smiled.
He laughed. "Heh, heh! Just doing my job, hambone." He tossed his screwdriver back into his tool belt. "I'll see you dudes tomorrow."
He opened the door, and left.
"Bye, Soos!" Mabel and I waved goodbye to him.
"Night, Soos." Wendy said, without looking up from her Chinese finger trap.
"Night, Soos." Stan called from behind the attraction he was building. A thigh, with one eye. 'The Thigh-Clops', he had named it.
Soos walked away from the shack, singing a similar tune to Mabel's. "Doo, doo, doo, doo, doo! Walking to my car."
Mabel watched him leave, staring at the door even after Soos had alrady closed it. "You ever wonder what Soos does when he's not here at the Mystery Shack?"
"No." I said.
"Not really." Wendy shrugged.
"Not once ever." Stan shook his head.
Mabel shrugged. "Oh, well."
The next day, I approached Stan in the gift shop and asked, "Grunkle Stan, have you seen Mabel?"
He stared at me for a moment. "What, did you lose her?"
"Kinda. She wanted to play hide and seek, and she ran away before I could stop her." I explained.
"Ha. Kids." He smiled for a moment, but then he glanced above and me said, "There!"
"Mabel?" I turned around.
"No." Stan said. But before I could ask what he was looking at, I realized what was happening.
Stan was about to scar another innocent child for life.
The poor kid was happily walking through the gift shop, flipping a coin and eating a lollipop, minding his own business.
"Hello!" Stan jumped out from behind a rack of postcards.
"Aaaaaahhhh!"
"Please, don't let my horrible elderly face frighten you." Stan put his hands on either side of his face, then reached over, and pulled away a sheet to reveal the creepy, old, gold prospector machine. "Don't you want to use that nickel to get a nugget from old Goldie?"
"Uuuuhhh..." The kid looked extremely uncomfortable as he glanced from side to side, trying to find an excuse to get away.
"Watch this!" Stan inserted his own nickel into Goldie's mouth.
The machine's arms moved up and his hat raised, but when his arms moved back down to deposit the nugget, both of its eyeballs rolled out instead. Grease poured out of his mouth and smoke began the seep through. It was a whole new kind of terrifying.
Needless to say, the child ran away crying for his mom.
Wendy shook her head. "Okay, seriously, Mr. Pines. It's time to throw that thing out. Its face reminds everybody of the inevitability of death."
"What?! Sure, he's a little rusty around the edges, but old Goldie is a classic show-stopper, like me. Huh?" Stan reached out to touch the machine, but his hand slipped on the grease and it got stuck in Goldie's mouth. He flailed his arm around trying to remove it, yelling, "Aaaah! Kill it! KIIILLL IIIITTT!"
I cringed at the sight and decided to look somewhere else.
I watched Soos hanging up shirts in the gift shop, but when he turned around and saw a lady looking at the snowglobes, he said, "Ah! A hwoman!" And then he dived into the middle of a shirt rack, like a little kid.
I stared at him in surprise. What was he doing?
I heard him say to himself, "Alright, Soos. You can do this. Just use your mouth to say words that makes romance happen." He slowly rose up from the middle of the rack, and said to the girl, "Your face is good. I'm a Soos!"
"Aaaaahhhhh!" She ran out screaming, dropping the snowglobe, knocking over some things, and punching a random person in the face.
Soos slowly dropped back down into the rack, clearly disappointed and embarrassed.
"Soos?" I walked over, and pushed a few shirts back to find him. "What was that all about?"
He awkwardly stepped out of the rack. "I... I think I was flirting, but I'm not sure."
Mabel suddenly popped out of a barrel of keychains. "Did someone say flirting?!" Her smile was Cheshire-wide.
Oh, that's where she was.
"Well, I kinda promised my grandma I'd get a date by the end of the week, but I've never actually been on a date before." Soos turned around and grabbed a sign off the vending machine. "You belong on me, out-of-order sign." He sighed.
Mabel ignored his sadness and went down on her knees. "Finally, my prayers for a chance to match-make this summer have been answered!"
"Soos, a little advice." Stan said. "You need to get rich. Or lie about being rich. Outside of that, I don't like your chances."
Wendy looked up from her magazine and rolled her eyes. "Pssshh. Don't listen to Stan, dude. You're a sweet guy with a steady job and a pickup truck."
"Would you date him?"
"Oh! Would you... heh... look at that." She raised the magazine over her face, in an attempt to hide herself.
"Soos, you help us so much, it's time we help you, dude. We're gonna get you that date." I said to my friend.
Mabel stared off into the distance. "We're taking you where romance lives and fashion styles die."
"To the mall!" Mabel shouted when we were already inside the building.
"I'm gonna find a replacement for old Goldie." Stan gestured to his creepy old machine. "Babysit Soos while I'm gone."
Mabel gazed around the room. "Alright, Soos. Are you ready to explode the charm bomb on these poor, unsuspecting ladies?"
I looked up to see Soos sweating nervously. "Uh. But what if I embarrass myself again?" He asked.
She shrugged. "Eh. You can't be any worse at this than Dipper." She said as she put an arm around me.
"Yeah!" I paused. "Wait, what?"
Mabel ignored me, and blew her whistle instead. "And, flirt!"
The next few hours were a blur of Mabel picking random girls for Soos and making him try and talk to them. I felt kind of like a stalker when Mabel made us hide behind trees and watch them for five to ten minutes before talking.
"Uh, what do I do, Mabel?" Soos asked as he was approaching the first girl.
Mabel pointed her to eyes and said, "Eye contact!"
Soos took a deep breath, then walked up to the girl. "Hey there! I'm not scared of your eyes at all! I'm gonna-" He used his fingers to open his eyes extremely wide as he said, "-LOOK at them!"
The girl ran away screaming, but Soos walked after her.
"Eye contact!"
The next time, Mabel picked a girl she saw eating ham and said, "Conversation!"
Soos watched the girl and said to her, "Huh. You know, I've actually been in a pig's body. Did you know pigs have a hard time walking backwards?"
The girl slowly walked backwards, herself.
Soos laughed. "Not you, though! Not that I'm calling you a pig. Where are you going?"
Another time, she picked someone I wasn't even sure was a girl. She (he?) was outside the 'Edgy on Purpose' store, which I'm pretty sure is where Robbie shops. I pointed these things out to her, but Mabel simply put on two pairs of sunglasses, and lifted only one as she said, "Confidence."
Soos walked up to the person and said, "So, you're probably a girl, right? Wrong?" He paused. "No, I was right the first time." But then he stared. "Wrong?"
I didn't think it would ever end.
Eventually, Soos decided he needed a break, and we sat down outside a 'BeeblyBoop's' video game store in the mall.
Mabel bought something out of one of those 25-cent toy capsule machines before sitting down next to Soos and saying, "Don't worry, Soos. You'll find the right girl. You just need to stick-" She took out the sticky-hand toy. "-with it!" She pulled it back, and when she let go it was stuck to Soos's face. "Ha ha!"
Soos was too upset to laugh with her. He sighed and said, "Could this day get any worse?"
A man and woman walked past us, and I couldn't help but stare at the man for a moment. He almost looked like a bearded version Soos, with darker, long hair.
Soos suddenly gasped. "Oh no! Cousin Reggie!"
Cousin Reggie held his arm out to the girl who I assumed was his fiancé, and said, "Feel it, it's muscle."
The woman felt his arm, and then giggled girlishly.
"He can't see me like this! I gotta hide!" Soos got up and ran toward the video game store, with Mabel's sticky-hand falling off his face, forgotten.
"Soos!" Mabel and I called, following him to the back of the store.
We watched as he sat down in front of some game shelves, sadly. "This is it, Soos. A lifetime of loneliness." He looked into the box of games next to him. "You're the only ones who could love me. Fighty Hogg, and Dr. Punch Head MD."
But then he stopped, and stared at a different game that was in the box. Romance Academy 7. He picked it up, intrigued.
"Huh. Never seen that one before." He turned the game around and read: "Virtually improve your dating skills. Nine out of ten basement dwellers recommend. This is perfect!" He said, turning to me and Mabel.
I took the game from him, and I looked at it myself. I shrugged. "Well, I guess you are better at games than at flirting."
Mabel smiled. "Anything to get you out there, Soos."
"I'm not sure you want to buy that game, sir."
Mabel and I turned around to see an employee watching us from behind the counter.
The lady adjusted her glasses as she said, "This is the third time someone's brought it back, and there's a note on it that says 'destroy at all costs'."
I looked down at the note, somehow surprised that it was actually there. I paused for a moment, remembering the time that I had brought Rumble to life, and almost hurt Mabel, and to a lesser extent, Robbie. I wondered if this could be anything like that?
Mabel nudged me, and I turned around to see Soos was talking to a cardboard cutout girl on a game advertisement. "So, hey there. What's your deal? Like to-" The cutout fell over when he touched it. "Oh, she's dead!"
"We'll take our chances." Mabel said to the lady.
She shrugged in a 'suit yourself' kind of way, and we bought the game.
"Pink yarn!" Mabel held her hand out to me expectantly. She held a needle in the other hand, and a pair of scissors were on the table next to her. In front of her was a pink sweater, which she was now sewing letters into. Even though it was a sweater for her, she claimed that seeing the words, "U can do it Soos" on a sweater would help boost Soos's confidence. I didn't think it would actually help, but I decided to help her make it anyway. My job was as her assistant, keeping the yarn organized and untangled.
"Pink yarn." I repeated as I handed her a string of pink yarn. Just enough for one letter.
"Green yarn!" She said a minute later.
"Green yarn."
"Blue yarn!"
"Blue- wait, the light blue or the dark blue?"
Mabel paused to sigh. "Sky blue."
"Oh. Sky blue yarn." I handed her the lighter ball of yarn.
"And... done!" She held out the sweater to me, a bright smile across her face. She quickly took off her sprinkles sweater and put on the new pink one. She ran to the mirror and whispered to herself, "It's beautiful..."
I grinned at the sight of her wide, excited eyes. She was so proud of herself. But suddenly, her smile dropped.
"Oh, boo!" She groaned.
"What?" I asked.
"I messed up!" She pointed to the second O in Soos's name, and I realized that it was too low, and too far to the left.
I shrugged. "Well, everything else is perfect. You did a good job Mabel!" I said, trying to encourage her.
She paused. "You think so? Thanks, Dipper!" Her bright, shiny smile returned.
"Of course! Now, let's go find Soos."
Mabel and I walked into the gift shop while Stan was talking to Wendy about some, animatronic badger? I wasn't listening.
"Hey, have you guys seen Soos?" I asked. "We're supposed to help him with match-making today."
"Yeah! I wore my motivational sweater and everything thing!" Mabel pointed at her, 'U can do it Soos' sweater. Specifically, at the point where the second O in Soos was placed too low and too far to the side, overlapping the second S. "I messed up that part."
She sounded more cheerful that time, like she really didn't mind, because she still did really well. It made me glad.
"He didn't come in today." Stan said. "It's the first time he's missed work ever!"
I glanced at Mabel, and she gave me a worried look. We really hoped he wasn't still upset about yesterday.
We went to Soos's house, and his grandmother opened the door and told us to go right up to his room. We found him at his computer, with dark circles under his eyes. Did he sleep at all? He was staring at the pink-haired girl on the screen like a zombie.
Soos laughed. "So that's basically my entire life story. Now you tell me a thing about you!"
"Every time you compliment me I get another highlight in my eyes!" The girl pointed to her eyes, smiling.
He paused. "Uh, you're pretty!"
Her eyes sparkled.
"And pixel-y!"
They sparkled more.
"And so agreeable!"
Her eyes were suddenly so sparkly and wide that they looked like they might pop right off her face. Stars, hearts, planets, and even cat faces filled her eyes. I could see how it could look adorable, but to me it was creepy.
Apparently, to Soos, this strange face she made was an achievement. "Yes!" He said.
"Uh, Soos?" Mabel stepped forward.
Soos turned around, momentarily startled. "O-oh hey, dudes! Come in! This game is amazing. I'm making eye contact, going on dates, and I haven't seen any natural sunlight for thirteen hours!" He said.
I looked down, and kicked away one of the many soda cans on the floor. I wondered exactly how long he'd been staring at that screen. He probably didn't sleep.
"Soos, maybe it's time to apply these skills with real girls!" Mabel said gently.
"But I'm about to meet her parents!" Soos cupped a hand around his mouth and whispered, "Her dad is an octopus-man."
Not amused, Mabel opened the blinds to let sunlight in.
"Ah!" Soos hissed like a vampire and hid under his desk.
I rolled my eyes, and pulled Soos out of hiding. "We're going back to the mall, man. You need to unplug!"
"I'll see you later, Giffany. I'll be back, I swear!" Soos waved goodbye to his computer.
Mabel laughed. "Soos, you don't have to wish it goodbye. It's just a game. It's not like it's going anywhere." She sais as she closed the door.
But as we left, I could have sworn I heard the girl on the computer say, "Yes. It's not like I'm going anywhere."
That couldn't have been in the programing, could it? No, I must have just been hearing things.
Once we were back at the mall, Mabel looked around for girls. However, this time is seemed like they were warned. They weren't too many women there.
"Dang! Where all dem sweet honeys at?" Mabel stomped her foot. "I'll check the ladies' bathroom."
Before I could stop her, she ran straight for the restroom. It wouldn't have been too bad, but she had a megaphone with her. I knew it was a bad idea. Where did she get it anyway?
"It's love time, girls! Get out there! No time to wash your hands!" I could hear her yelling.
Women ran out from the bathroom, screaming. "Ahhh! Let's get out of here!"
"It's time to date! Date! Date!" Mabel chanted.
I cringed as I saw a lady in a uniform coming to try and get Mabel out of there.
"And... here comes security." I turned to Soos. "I'll deal with this. Stay here and practice on some real girls."
Soos gave me a nervous look, like he didn't want to be left alone, but I had to get Mabel. Soos was an adult, he could handle it.
Right?
I tried not to think about it too much. I ran toward the bathroom, where the lady was waiting for Mabel to come out.
"Miss, please come out." She said.
"No! Never!" Mabel yelled from inside.
"Mabel!" I called into the restroom. "Let's go!"
"I can't, Dipper! He's going to take me to mall jail!"
The lady rolled her eyes. "There's no need for that, Miss. If you'll just give me the megaphone, that will be all."
"You can't take it from me!"
I sighed. "Mabel, come on."
"No."
"Please?"
"Nuh-uh."
"...I'll buy you ice cream."
"..."
"..."
"...Strawberry?"
"With sprinkles."
She slowly stepped out of the bathroom, and handed the lady the megaphone.
"I'm confiscating this. Now, I'm giving you a fair a warning. Don't do anything like this again, okay?"
Mabel nodded, and the lady walked away with her megaphone.
She sighed. "Aw, man. Where am I gonna get another one of those?! That lady better give it back when we leave!" She paused. "I wonder if she's a good candidate for Soos..."
I rolled my eyes. "Let's just go find Soos." I turned to walk away, but Mabel grabbed my shoulder.
"Nuh-uh! You promised ice cream!" She said.
I paused. "...Do we have to?"
She nodded and smiled. "To the ice cream!"
When we entered the ice cream shop, Mabel was amazed by all the different flavors and toppings around her.
"Rocky Road, Mint Chocolate Chip, Bubble Gum! And-" She gasped. "BIRTHDAY CAKE FLAVOR?!"
"No, no, no!" I pulled her away from the rainbow of colors. "Strawberry and sprinkles, that's it. I don't need you bouncing off the walls any more than that."
She sighed. "Okay, fine."
I bought her the ice cream, and we walked (well, she skipped) back to where we left Soos, but he wasn't there.
"Are you sure this is where we left him?" Mabel asked, between licking her ice cream cone.
I nodded. "Yeah, he must have went somewhere else." I scanned the mall. "Hmm. If I was Soos, where would I go?"
She suddenly dawned a look of determination. She shoved the rest of her ice cream in her mouth. "Poo va kibbie wibes!" Came her muffled shout, and she ran off.
"Mabel!" I chased after her.
We soon made it 'to the kiddie rides', and Mabel was right. We saw Soos riding on one of the little trains.
"Hahahahaha! Haha! Choo choo!" He laughed.
The train suddenly shut down. "Please insert 50 cents to continue."
"Aw, man." Soos said.
"Let's go." I said to Mabel, but I only took one step before she pulled me back. "What?"
"Look!" She pointed.
I heard a girl laughing. "Oh, sorry." She said, as she walked up to Soos. "Dude, that's awesome that you're a grown man riding a little train like that! You're totally like, owning it."
"Huh? Oh, yeah. I'm like, if it's fun, uh, do it. You know?" Soos said.
"Exactly! Being an adult is the worst." The lady said. "Skewering meat, remembering to pay bills, I just want to ride tiny trains all day."
Soos shrugged, and pointed to the girl's work hat. "At least you get to work at Meat Cute. Extreme lunch meats are the food of the future."
She smiled. "I feel the same way. I'm Melody by the way."
Mabel gave me an excited nudge.
"Oh, I'm Soos." He said. "I tell you, if you like robots for kids, you should check out the best restraunt of all time!"
Melody paused. "You mean..."
"Hoo-Ha Owl's Pizzamatronic Jamboree!" They said simultaneously, and Mabel gave me another shove.
"What? You've heard of Hoo Ha Owl's? I loved that place when I was a kid!" Melody tugged on her ponytail, smiling.
"Oh yeah, dude. There's one right in this mall! I should show you some time." Soos said.
She shrugged. "I'm free around eight."
"Boom! Done."
"Perfect. I'll see you then." She stepped forward, and handed Soos some coins for the ride. Then she walked away, waving and smiling.
By now, Mabel was pretty much just punching me in the shoulder repeatedly.
Soos waved back and said, "What a nice lady. Well, back to riding this tiny train for children."
I don't know if it was the sugar or what, but Mabel just couldn't take it anymore. She ran and dived into Soos, knocking him off the train. I ran after her and watched as she began hitting Soos. Strange excited noises came out of her mouth, but she was able to say, "Soos!"
"We saw the whole thing, Soos. That was amazing!" I said. "You talked to a real girl, and you got a date!"
Soos paused. "I did?"
"This is the best day of my life!" Mabel screamed, and she began to jump and dance around us, still freaking out.
"You were in the zone, you made eye contact - it was like you'd done this a million times before. Don't you see? That game really worked!" I said.
Mabel finally seemed to calm down as she said, "You don't need it anymore; you can toss it out!"
"Toss it? But, I like Giffany. She's good to me. She's predictable." Soos nodded to himself.
"Soos, can a computer game go to Reggie's engagement party with you?" I asked.
"Uh... I guess not." He sighed.
"Then it's time to get you ready for your date!" Mabel squealed.
"Just- just let me go home and tell Giffany, okay? It's the right thing to do."
Mabel and I glanced at each other, but we shrugged. If it made him feel better.
"But then we get you ready!" Mabel said.
Soos nodded. "Thanks, dudes. You guys are the best!"
We met up outside of Hoo Ha Owl's a few minutes before eight o'clock. As I gave Soos water, Mabel gave him a last-minute pep-talk.
"You can do this, Soos! Just remember what your love crew taught you." Mabel said. "How does she look?"
"Nice!"
"What are her stories?"
"Interesting!"
"And who's going to pay for dinner?"
"SOOS IS!" He yelled.
"Now, DATE!" I blew the airhorn.
Soos ran off, screaming, "Ahhhhhh!"
Mabel looked to me and smiled. "They grow up so fast."
I bit back laughter. "Come on, let's follow him."
We walked behind Soos to the entrance, but stayed a safe distance away.
We saw Melody rubbing one of her legs with the other. "Itchy legs, itchy legs- oh, hi Soos!"
"Melody! Are you ready for a..." Soos looked at his hand. "date with..." He looked at his other hand. "me?"
For a moment I thought he already blew it. But Melody just laughed. "I totally am."
We watched them sit down at a booth, and we sat in the next one over. I looked around at the place.
"So this is Hoo Ha Owl's." I stared at the arcade games, the kids indoor play structure, and the pictures of the animatronic creatures everywhere. "Is it just me, or is this place kind of like Five Nights At Freddy's? But, weirder?"
Mabel giggled. "More like Five Dates at Freddy's! Ha!" She paused. "Or two... or one. Maybe just one."
There was an awkward silence.
"So... how are things?" She asked.
"Uh... good." I paused. "I like your... referee sweater. And, that pink hat looks good on you."
She blushed, and looked down at the sweater. "Thanks. It- it took a while. The hat was ten bucks, but it was worth it."
There was a short, awkward silence.
I took a deep breath. "Wanna get pizza?"
"Sure!" Mabel smiled.
We walked up to the counter and the waitress asked, "So, what would you two like?"
"Hawaiian." We hadn't discussed it beforehand, but we managed to come to the same conclusion simultaneously.
The lady smiled. "Aw, you two are adorable together!"
I blushed. "Oh, we're not-"
Mabel tried to say, "It's not like that, we're just-"
"-we're just friends."
"-here for another friend."
"Not actually-"
"I mean, we're not dating."
"-together."
The lady nodded. "Sure..." She walked back to the kitchen, and minutes later she came back with our pizza.
Once we sat back down, Mabel suggested we cut eye holes into the box to watch Soos without Melody seeing. I agreed, and we did. They hadn't decided what to order yet, so we just watched them talking.
"Man, I could go for some complimentary breadsticks right now." Melody said.
Soos laughed nervously. "Uh, one time I was so hungry, I ate the decorational bamboo at a Chinese restaurant." He patted himself on the stomach as he sang, "Like a big old panda!"
She giggled. "You're hilarious."
Soos laughed again. "Yeah, well, you know, I just sorta say whatever pops into my, uh..."
He started to take a drink of water, but suddenly, he spit it all out over the table. He coughed a few times, and Melody reached out to pat him on the back, asking, "Soos, are you okay?"
"No! I'm, uh, fine! Everything's fine." He said quickly.
"You sure? You're spitting an awful lot."
He was also sweating an awful lot. He stood up awkwardly and said, "Uh, can you sit tight? I have to go to the bathroom for a long time. Not in a weird way."
He ran to the booth Mabel and I were in, and we put down our pizza box with eyeholes.
"Soos, what are you doing out there?" Mabel asked.
"I've got a big problem, guys. I'm being stalked by Giffany!"
"Giffany?" We asked.
Soos paused. "Or maybe it's pronouced, 'Jiffany?' I was never really sure."
It was that video game again. I rolled my eyes. "Soos, get a grip on yourself. Giffany can't stalk you because she's not real!"
But then we saw her, on the TV screens. She stared at Soos like she'd been betrayed, and looked at me and Mabel like were her evil.
"Uh-oh." Mabel said.
I turned to Soos. "Take it from someone who brought an arcade game to life, this will not end well."
"Don't worry." He said. "I'm pretty sure she's stuck on TV screens."
Suddenly, we saw electricity running across wires, and Giffany was traveling across the arcade game screens. She actually stopped at Fight Fighters, where I saw Rumble McSkirmish himself.
"Ha! A new challenger approaches! Prepare to be- dah!" His overacting voice was cut off as Giffany shocked him.
She moved on, and we saw her electricity heading toward the stage.
"Oh, boy." Soos got up, and ran back to Melody.
"Dipper, what do we do?" Mabel asked.
I didn't know.
"So hey, anyway," Soos was saying to Melody. "you uh, wanna move this date far away into the forest away from all electronics and people?"
Melody stared at him. "What? But the floor show's about to start."
"Uh!"
The curtain opened, to reveal a stage full of four old animatronics playing instruments. There was a big beaver, laughing like a nerd. There was a frog with a cowboy hat, on bongos. There was a cheerleader beaver on the banjo. Finally, there was Hoo Ha the Owl, with a spotlight all to himself.
Well, there were two giant rats in barrels, for no real reason.
The owl was hooting. "Hoo! Hoo! Hoo! Who wants to hear Hoo Ha the owl? Oh! Who..." The robot's eyes closed and its voice lowered and died down.
The spotlight turned to the beaver cheerleader, who began strumming her banjo.
"Hello, friends..." She looked up, and I realized that one was possessed by Giffany. "Hoo Ha the Owl is dead."
Suddenly all of the lights went out.
"Dipper..." Mabel whispered.
"This next song goes out to my forever boyfriend, Soos."
"Soos, what's going on?" Melody yelled over the banjo.
"No time to explain! We gotta get out of here!" He dragged Melody, and ran toward the door. I glanced at Mabel, and we ran after him.
"The only way out, Soos, is in my arms!" Giffany's new eyes turned blood red. She snapped her fingers and said, "After them!"
Suddenly, all the other animatronics were coming to life. The two rats revealed their horrible metal claws that were hidden in the barrel, the cowboy frog hopped off stage, and the nerdy big beaver laughed. But, evilly, this time.
We ran toward the exit, but just before we could get out with everyone else, the metal door came down, and we were locked in. We hopelessly banged on the door.
"I'm sorry, Soos, but you can't run away from our relationship!" Giffany held a hand toward the skee-ball games, and the spewed out balls toward us.
Soos pulled down an arcade game to cover us.
"You were right, Dipper! This really is Five Nights at Freddy's!" Mabel yelled.
"I know! What the heck, right?"
Soos turned to Melody and said, "So, about all this, I may have purchased a dating simulator that obtained sentience and went crazy."
"Oh, I am crazy." Giffany said. "Crazy for you, Soos."
Suddenly, lightning shot out of her animatronic fingers, and toward us. Melody, specifically. She screamed as the electricity zoomed over her head, catching her hair on fire. Soos quickly patted it out.
Soos said, "Oh no! I'm so sorry, Melody! I'll fix this. It's me she wants. I'll distract her while Dipper and Mabel keep you safe! It's the only way!"
Melody was holding us like a mother as she gave him a look of disbelief. "Soos, these are children."
"The only WAYYYY!" Soos jumped up on the arcade game and ran past Giffany toward the kitchen. "Over here, Giffany!"
"Stop!" She called.
Soos ran past the attacking rats in barrels. He slid on his stomach on a severing plate, right through the kitchen door. Giffany ran right after him.
"It's okay, kids." Melody tried to comfort us.
"Chica's after Soos!" Mabel said. "And I think Foxy's after Grunkle Stan!"
"Stan? What are you talking about?"
"I saw him here messing with the badger, earlier!"
I rolled my eyes. "Okay, on three we split. One, two-"
Evil robotic laughter cut me off, and chilled me to the bone. The bid beaver came up behind us, karate-chopping our arcade game shield in half.
"AH! FREDDY FAZ-BEAVER!" Mabel screamed.
We all ran. I went left with Melody, but Mabel went right.
"Mabel!" I yelled after her, but then the beaver started chasing me.
The rats were chasing her, now. She screamed and ran toward the playground. She started up the slide, but then she came back down. She actually came back down the slide, right in front of the animatronic rat monsters, just to take off her shoes and put them in the shoe holder.
"MABEL, WHAT THE HECK?!"
"IT'S THE RULES, DIPPER!"
The rats nearly grabbed her as she went back up the slide again.
"I'm gonna eat your face like pizza!" The beaver came up behind me, and I was cornered at a video game.
I screamed and ducked, and the beaver ended up hitting a button on the video game. It began to spit out tickets, and the beaver began clapping. Melody came up behind him and knocked his head off with a chair, but then the rat animatronics came up behind her.
Mabel came out of one of the slides, ending up right behind the rats. She screamed, and they turned around to grab her.
"Hey!" Melody tried to hit the rats again, but the headless beaver came up behind her and grabbed her, as the rats grabbed Mabel.
I was frozen, watching them. I didn't realize that the cowboy frog was right behind me, until he grabbed me too. We all struggled, but the robots were too strong.
"No!" Mabel said. "I don't have my shoes!"
I rolled my eyes. "Really? REALLY?!"
"My feet are cold, Dipper!"
"Kids!" Melody yelled. "Stop it!"
"WE'RE GOING TO DIE!" I yelled.
"No, we're not! Calm down! We're going to be fine."
"Yeah, Dipper. Soos is still free!" Mabel paused. "No, you're right, we're dead."
We all screamed and struggled hopelessly, but suddenly, the animatronics' grips loosened. We were released into the ball pit, and the robots were powered down. Somehow, Soos had done it!
"Kids?" Melody said as we got up.
"What just happened?" Mabel asked.
Soos walked out of the kitchen and ran toward us. "Dudes! Is everyone okay? Kids? Melody?"
I nodded. "Yeah."
"I'm okay." Melody said as he helped her out of the ball pit.
"Soos! You saved us again!" Mabel smiled.
He paused. "Uh, yeah. I guess I did."
"That was crazy!" Melody said, as they began to walk over to the skee ball machines.
I was about to step out of the ball pit and follow them, but Mabel held me back.
"Wait!" She said.
I turned around. "What?"
"Look!"
Mabel pointed to Melody and Soos, who sat down on the skeeball machines. She crouched down in the pit like a spy, and pulled me down with her.
Soos sighed. "I'm sorry for all of this. I honestly remember this place being a lot more fun when I was a kid."
"Believe it or not but I've been on worse dates."
"Really?"
Melody stared into the distance. "Never date a magician."
"Ugh why would I?"
She jokingly hit his arm, and they both laughed.
"Oh! Hey," Soos paused. "You aren't maybe interested in going to my cousin's engagement party in a week? I promise there's like zero robot badgers."
Melody chuckled. "Yeah. I'll still be in town then."
"S-Still be in town?"
"I'm going back home to Portland in a few weeks." She paused, then smiled. "But we can video chat, if that's okay with you?"
"A relationship with a girl that I can only see through my computer... sounds perfect!"
Mabel squealed with excitement, before cheering, "Spirit of love, we did it!"
As she raised her arms, Soos's grandmother popped out of the pit beside us.
"Yes. Yes. I am so happy." She said.
"Have you been following us all day?" I stared at her.
"Soos's life is my soap opera." She smiled.
"Okay..." Mabel said, giving the old lady a strange look. "Let's go, Dipper."
She pulled me out of the ball pit and toward the exit, leaving Soos's grandmother to watch her grandson alone.
"Oh my goodness, Dipper, I can't believe we DID IT!" She shook me by the shoulders.
"I know, right?! Soos has a girlfriend!"
"We make a pretty good team, huh?" She jokingly punched me in the arm.
"Yeah! That was..." I paused. "Fun!"
"It was!" She laughed.
I joined her for a moment, but then we stopped, and there was a moment of silence, once again.
Girlfriend.
I knew what I wanted to say, but I didn't know how to say it. I suddenly felt all awkward and sweaty, even more so than usual. I cleared my throat and tugged at my shirt collar. "So, uh, you wanna do this again sometime?" I paused again. "Not like, matchmaking, necessarily. And not like, running for our lives from Freddy Faz-beaver, and Bonnie the Purple Owl, or whatever. But like-"
Mabel cut me off with a giggle. "What are you saying, Dippin' Sauce?"
What was I saying? Did I really want this? I mean, I thought I did. But what about the journals? And finding the author? I was so close, and that's what I needed to focus on. That's what was important.
But what about Mabel? Isn't she important, too? I stared at her beautiful, innocent, smiling eyes. Yes, she was much more important. I didn't want her to get hurt. I didn't want to see her sad. I wanted to make her happy. But what if I couldn't? What if I let her down? I couldn't let that happen. I couldn't risk it. But then...
I took a deep breath.
"You wanna... get pizza again, sometime?" I cringed as I realized my voice was cracking at nearly every syllable.
Mabel smiled, and for a moment I thought she was going to laugh at me. But then she grabbed my hand, and she said, "I'd like that."
And we didn't stop smiling.
AN: So... this chapter was like, ALL Dipper. Have I ever done that before? I think I did. But it still feels weird. So, I don't know if he asked her on an OFFICIAL date, (keep in mind they're twelve, and he's still thinking about the journals) but, it's still adorable, right? Was it adorable enough for you to forgive me for my terrible update schedule? Or was it too much? I don't know. I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M DOING. I seriously forgot where I was going with this, and I've been making this up as I go along. It's worked so far!
Five Night's At Freddy's, though. I've been planning that joke since the episode came out.
I almost didn't post this chapter 'cause I wanted to wait and look over it twenty more times (which probably would have taken me twenty more weeks), but then I realized something. Guys.
IT'S MY TWO YEAR ANNIVERSARY!
March 29, exactly two years ago, was the day I posted the first chapter of this fic. OMGOODNESS, we've come so far! I don't know how many times I've already said thank you, but I have to be annoying and say it again. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING, REVIEWING, FAVORITING, AND FOLLOWING! You don't know how much I appreciate every message and review I get about my story, or how excited I get when I receive an email that someone new has followed or favorited my story. And that's why I'm going to keep writing. Thank you.
By the way, does anybody have any ideas for the next chapter? I have no idea what I'm doing. Ha!