Disclaimer: I do not own Once Upon a Time

AN: As always, thank you to my wonderful beta, GranddaughterOfCaskettAndTivia. Thank you to all my wonderful readers. Enjoy! ~ XOXO MAS

And I know the scariest part is letting go

The group had barely taken the time to deposit Gold at the precinct or make sure Neal was wheeled into surgery before they came sliding into Emma's hospital room. Captain Montgomery, Martha and Alexis were already there, all beaming around a tired looking Emma. Henry was curled up next to her sleeping soundly and Killian was gripping her hand and it looked as if he'd never let it go.

Kate beamed at her friend. "Welcome back to the land of the living, Ems."

Emma gave her a thin smile. "Thanks, Kate." Her voice was barely there and raspy. "I hear you have some good news too."

"Those dirtbags are going down for good," Roy assured her. "Gold's already lawyered up, but he's in holding. He's not going anywhere. Zoso and Gorgon turned on him the moment they saw he'd been arrested. I think they cut a pretty sweet deal with the Feds."

Emma chewed on that information for a moment. "You don't think Gold or Neal will get that kind of deal, do you?"

"They murdered a cop," Esposito began. "I promise that we won't let them get away with that."

Emma nodded hesitantly. "I hope not. You never know, the system-"

"They won't get out of this, Emma. You have my word," Kate assured her. "Try to relax."

Killian squeezed her hand. "She's right, love. You've got to focus on getting better."

Emma's eyes landed on Killian. "And you have to focus on not doing stupid things. I can't believe you let them go to that poker game," Emma chastised the other cops in the room. "Killian, you could've been killed."

"You were in a coma and they were going to get away, what else was I bloody supposed to do?" He picked up her hand and pressed a kiss to her knuckles. "You need to not do stupid things, too."

"I'm a cop, it was my job to go into that warehouse," she reminded him. "You're a writer. It's not your job. If you want to impress me, write me a poem, don't go barging into a warehouse and get yourself killed."

"But I didn't get myself killed. Castle and I had full control over the situation." Emma narrowed her eyes at his words, shooting Kate a sideways glance. The detective just rolled her eyes. "Look, the important thing is that we're all okay," he murmured.

Emma nodded. "You're right. Everyone's alright. This conversation isn't over, though."

"Duly noted, love."

It was three hours later, when Henry was awake and hungry and had gone running off while Kate and Castle went to check in on Neal and Gold, that Emma finally had Killian alone. "You know we need to talk," she murmured.

"Aye, darling, we do. We need to discuss how you ran off to bloody New York and got yourself shot. Emma, you realize you were in a coma and that you could've died. Or you could've woken up not fully yourself. Then what would we have done?" He snapped, standing up to pace around the room.

"I couldn't trust you, Killian," she snapped.

"Trust me?" He shook his head. "Why the bloody hell not? I uprooted my entire life and basically moved to Storybrooke. Did you realize that? I moved to be with you and Henry, I was doing everything I could to help you find the people who killed your fiancé. I was helping you with that while I'm bloody well in love with you. Do you know what that's like, Emma? To love someone who still loves someone else?" He was vaguely aware that he should calm down and take a breath. He knew he should stop yelling at her. She'd been out of a coma for a mere few hours. She was in no state to go head to head with him over something like this.

"And you think I didn't love you, too?" She snapped. "Dear god, Killian, I trusted you with everything. I trusted you with my past and my fears. And you think that didn't mean something to me? And you couldn't afford me the same privilege?"

He stopped in front of her. "You can't force that kind of information out of someone, love. You were learning about me bit by bit. Now, why couldn't you just be patient? Why must you think I have an ulterior motive?"

"Because everyone always has one!" She shouted.

"What?" He asked quietly.

"Because Graham was the first person I was ever enough for who actually loved me and trusted me with his own baggage. How can I honestly believe that I'm enough when you won't do the same?" She asked quietly.

"Oh, Emma." Killian let out a long sigh and moved back to the bed. He sunk down into the chair he'd been camped out in since she woke up. "You have to know that you're more than enough for me. I just need you to trust that in time you'll learn everything there is to know about me. And I know that it's the bloody worst coincidence in the world, but I had nothing to do with Gold. I had no idea he was in that town or that he had connections to it. I would never hurt you like that. I swear it," he promised her softly.

She shook her head. "I've heard that before, Killian. Many times over. It's one of the reasons I'm lying in this bed right now."

He pressed a kiss to the back of her hand. "You know, love, you may have to try something new."

She snorted. "And what's that?"

"It's called trust. Sometimes it's a blind thing. You trust me to stand by you. And I could hurt you, but I could surprise you," he murmured.

"Trust isn't given. It's earned, Killian," she reminded him.

"Not necessarily at first. You may not realize it's trust, but you don't always know people when you decide you'll trust them. You trust me with your life story, with your heart, with your lad, and I'll prove to you that I'm deserving of it," he pleaded with her.

She shook her head. "I'm not sure I could take it if I was wrong about you."

He sighed, trying to get her to understand. "Your heart may have been broken, Swan, but that's not the worst thing in the world."

She scoffed. "Perhaps you should just speak for yourself on that."

"If it can be broken, it means it still works. A fact that I am infinitely grateful for." He let out a sigh of resignation, his shoulders slumping forward. "Look, I shan't force my company upon you and your boy, but you should know that I'm in this, Emma. I'm not going anywhere. Just because I may share at a different pace than you, it doesn't mean I'm not in this." He stood up, leaning over to brush a kiss across her forehead. "I'm going to find Regina and let her know I'm going home. They'll watch out for you, Swan." He picked up his leather jacket, shrugging into it. He had his hand on the door when he murmured, "If you don't mind, I'm going to say goodbye to Henry as well."

She swallowed the lump in her throat and nodded silently, watching as he walked out the door.

Killian found the entire group in the hospital cafeteria. Even Ryan and Esposito had managed to break away for lunch with them. "Killian?" Regina stood up. "Is Emma okay?"

He nodded. "She'll be fine, lass. I'm just here to say goodbye."

"Goodbye?" Regina echoed.

"Aye, I'm going to head home now. Shower, change, pack a new bag. Please stay as long as Emma is here. My place is at your disposal." He moved around her.

"Killian?" Henry asked. "Is Mom okay?"

Killian nodded. "Aye, lad, your mum is just fine." He pulled Henry in for a hug. "I want you to remember something."

"What?" Henry asked. He was confused, he wasn't sure why Killian seemed like he was saying goodbye when he and his mother were so clearly in love with each other.

Killian settled down on his knees so he was eye-level with Henry. "If you ever need anything you call me and I'll be there."

Henry frowned. "You're leaving," he stated flatly.

Killian smoothed his hand over Henry's forehead. "It's what your mum wants," he murmured.

Henry let out a whine. "Well what about what I want?"

Killian chuckled, it was the most Killian had heard Henry act like a little kid. "Unfortunately, Henry, this time it's about what your mum wants and needs. Right now she needs time and space away from me. If you need me though, I'll come running. Okay?"

Henry sighed and hugged Killian tightly. "Okay," he agreed softly.

Killian said goodbye to everyone, promising to call Castle once he knew where he was headed. He was planning on going south this time, perhaps down to Georgia.

When he was gone, Regina scowled. "I'm going to put her back in a coma," she threatened.

Robin wrapped an arm around his wife's waist. "Emma's been through a lot lately, perhaps some space will do her good."

OUAT

Emma chewed on her lip as she watched Regina angrily flip through her magazine. Castle had taken Henry and Roland to his apartment for a few hours away from the hospital. He and Alexis were planning to take the boys to the park. Ruby and Victor had already left for Maine again. Once Emma was awake and Victor felt confident that she would make a full recovery (he'd announced that two hours ago), they left for home. He needed to get back to the hospital and Ruby was slightly worried about leaving her Granny alone with the diner and inn. Neal was out of surgery and awake. Beckett had Esposito, Ryan and Robin with her waiting to speak to him. So far Gold had admitted to nothing, just stared at them blankly as his lawyer prattled off the same phrase over and over again, "Don't answer that."

After another five minutes of Regina flipping loudly through her magazine, Emma let out a groan. "If that's what you're going to do, then please get the hell out of my hospital room," Emma grumbled. "I made my choice."

"You made the wrong one, the stupid one," Regina countered.

Emma snorted. "Really? Is that what you think now? I'm starting to get whiplash in regards to your feelings about Killian." Regina raised a dark brow at her words. "First, you set me up on a date with him. Second, you're concerned we don't know enough about him. Now, you're on his side."

"Because you ran off and got yourself shot!" Regina screeched. "Henry would've been alone."

"He would've had you," Emma reminded her.

"I would've been alone! I need you, Emma. Henry needs you. We need you. We love you, why can't you get that? You can't go off doing stupidly reckless things. We can't lose you!" Regina yelled back.

Emma let out a sigh and patted the spot next to her on the bed, waiting to respond until Regina sat down. "I know, I'm sorry. But you know my job can be dangerous. I'm the sheriff. I'm a cop and that means walking into danger. Typically it just means hauling Leroy's drunk ass around, but sometimes it means dealing with dangerous people."

Regina rested her head on Emma's shoulder. "I'm not going to like it," she warned.

"I'd despair if you did," Emma retorted with a chuckle.

"You're still making a mistake letting Killian walk away. That man loves you. He didn't sleep, he didn't eat. He just plotted a way to get Neal and Gold, took care of Henry and stared hopelessly at you. You should consider calling him before he gets too far away, or else you may lose him forever. Then you'll be alone."

Emma shook her head. "I have you guys."

"You and I both know that's not the same thing." Regina sighed. "I'm going to call Castle, make sure he doesn't need anything." Regina picked up her cell phone and left the room.

Emma ran through Regina's warning over in her mind. Then you'll be alone. It was true Emma didn't need a man to feel complete, but it was nice to have a partner, to have someone to share the little things in life with. Like when Henry scored the winning goal in his soccer game. It was nice to share a tiny moment like that, a moment that's nearly inconsequential, with someone. She knew from her relationship with Graham that it was nice to share the big moments with someone else, too.

"Fuck," she muttered. Acting without thinking, Emma threw back the covers on her bed and ripped out the IVs and wires she was hooked up to. She grabbed Regina's bag that was sitting in the corner and pulled out a pair of jeans and a top, tugging them on before pulling on her boots that were resting on the floor near her own personal effects. She winced as the bandages and stitches pulled with each movement, but she sucked in a breath and glanced out the door. There was no one around. Visiting hours were long over and the staff was in the middle of shifting to the night crowd. She could just make out Regina in a small alcove at the end of the hall opposite the elevators and stairs. Moving as quickly and quietly as possible, Emma dashed to the stairs, knowing she couldn't wait on the elevator.

Each step hurt worse than she thought possible. She'd never been shot, but she'd heard about how it felt, she remembered Kate telling her about it. No one remembered to mention the part about trying to get around afterwards. Perhaps it was because she wasn't supposed to be getting around. She kept her head down, afraid she'd run into one of the many cops who were watching over the hospital in case Gold managed to place a hit on her.

She breathed out a sigh of relief when she was on the street, flagging down a cab and very gently easing herself into the backseat. She was being stupid and foolish and she knew Killian was going to kill her when she got to him. The thought made her smile as she rattled off his address. "And hurry please, I don't want to miss him."

"Miss who?" The cab driver asked.

Emma hummed. "My guy," she replied.

The cab driver kept up a steady flow of conversation on the way to Killian's place. She found out his name was Ranjit and he was originally from India. Emma found herself telling him why she was in a rush and how she was planning on stopping Killian. She was grateful that he listened to her without complaint or without any (voiced) judgment. She was even more grateful when he jumped out of his seat to help her out of the car.

Leaving him with a hefty tip, Emma squeezed his arm. "Thank you, Ranjit."

"Good luck, Emma." He tipped his head to her before getting back in his cab.

Emma moved as quickly as she could up to Killian's apartment. She was banging hopelessly on the door when one of the building workers appeared. "Ms. Swan?"

Emma turned slowly, recognizing him as one of the doormen. "Is Killian still here?" She asked quickly.

He shook his head sadly. "No, I'm afraid not, he left just a few minutes ago. Do you need something?"

Emma leaned against the doorframe, wincing. "A place to sit," she admitted.

The older man shook his head. "I'll call the front desk, they can let you in. You shouldn't be here, Mrs. Locksley was telling me you were shot. I read about it in the papers. Shouldn't you still be in the hospital?" He asked as he radioed the front desk for a key.

"That's why the chair would be nice," she admitted.

It was nearly five minutes later when she was left alone in Killian's apartment, looking around and hating herself for being too late. She knew Regina was going to kill her for just running out of the hospital without warning or a note. In fact, she expected Regina to show up at any moment to kick her ass. So, she wasn't at all surprised when the door flew open. Instead, she braced herself for an apology and an explanation.

Tiredly, she sighed. "I'm sorry I left the hospital. I thought I could catch Killian before he left."

"Emma?"

OUAT

XOXO

MAS