So, vacation has given me the time and the disposition to work on my unfinished projects. This piece is so close to an ending... I want so much this characters to get there... so here it is. I have three more chapters written, just doing some proofreading and editing. I will try to post them during the week, if I can't, next weekend the latest. After these chapters we might have just two or three more to the end. I can already feel it, hope you can too.

25. How to be a mom?

Emma was asleep, Charlie was asleep. Neal thought that he would finally have some time to breathe.

He got to the living room and the video game was on, but paused. Henry was nowhere to be seen. Neal went back to the hallway of the rooms, and into his son's room. He wasn't there either.

Neal suppressed the fear that raised in his chest. Had Henry heard any part of the conversation he had had with Emma? If so, what went through his head? The only life the boy remembered was the one where Emma raised him.

Neal looked for his son in the bathroom, in Charlie's room and in the balcony but he wasn't in any of these places. He had started looking inside the cabinets and closets when a soft cry came from one of the rooms.

Great.

He went back to Charlie's room, still thinking about where Henry could be. He didn't want to think about the possibility that Henry might have left the apartment. In New York. At night.

He picked Charlie up right when her cries were getting louder. He wondered if she had woken Emma up. He rocked the baby, talking to her. When that didn't work he tried making funny faces, but she didn't care to pay attention, just went on crying. He checked her diaper, but it was clean.

"You are hungry, aren't you?" he said, unhappy. So much for wanting Emma to rest.

He carried the baby to the other room, rocking her without thinking about it. He slowly opened the door, and turned on the lamp by the bedside. Emma was obviously awake by then.

"Em, I am so sorry. I wanted you to rest, but little Munchkin had another thing in mind."

Emma just stared at him like he was holding a bomb about to explode.

"Look. I know you are unsure of yourself, and tired. But even if you think you can't be a good mother, there is one thing that you, and only you can do for this baby right now."Neal said, speaking louder than Charlie's cries. "And you don't need to ace it, really. You don't need to do much anyway. She has the instinct, she knows what to do when she is hungry."

Emma just wanted to go back to sleep. But the right pitch cry wasn't only annoying her, it was breaking her heart. Her daughter, who was only some days old, was hungry. She had been taken away from the warm, safe place that was her home for all she could remember. She was scared.

Still afraid, but with more determination, she sat on the bed. Then she looked up to Neal.

"Can you help me?" she asked, a pledge in her eyes.

"Of course. But I don't have any more experience than you on this."

He sat on the bed with the crying baby. Emma started undoing the shirt of her pajamas.

Neal focused on Charlie. That was not the moment to get excited about Emma getting undressed.

When she was ready, he slowly passed the baby to her arms. As if knowing what was happening, Charlie's cries diminished.

"Hold her head."Neal instructed, and Emma did as he said. Feeling really weird, she brought the baby close to her body. Charlie had fully stopped crying now, and focused on her mother with attention.

"Get her closer." Neal suggested. All the other times Emma needed to do that at the hospital, there was a nurse helping her around. Maybe that's why she was feeling less confident than before.

Emma did so and Charlie started to open and close her mouth, eager. Emma helped her out and the baby finally caught the nipple with her mouth. She started sucking, happy.

Neal saw the little smile on Emma's face. She looked up, shy but victorious.

"Way to go, Em!" Neal said, his chest filled with a warm contentment.

"She is doing most of the work."Emma said, shrugging, what made him laugh.

At that moment, he thought he was really lucky. Even if they didn't have that with Henry...

Henry!

"Are you ok?" Emma asked, watching him worriedly. Neal had stood up like a electrical stream had just hit him.

"Yeah, I am great. I just... I should check on Henry, it's getting close to his bedtime, isn't it? I'll be back soon!"

He left before she had the chance to say anything.

He didn't want to tell her their son was lost on the same night he was trying to reassure her they were good parents.

Neal went to the living room, thinking. If it were him, if he had heard that conversation, what would he do?

Suddenly he had an insight. If Henry was anything like him, he would go somewhere to think things through without being interrupted. He knew exactly where he would go, if it had happened to him.

"Hey, pal."he said, sounding more cool than he actually felt. Truth was, he was so relieved to see the boy!

He passed through Henry's window, to the metal structure outside. Henry was sitting in one step, watching the city lights.

"You weren't supposed to find me."Henry said quietly.

"Well, then you should have find a better hiding place."Neal said, sitting at the window's threshold.

He didn't say anything else, watching the lights like Henry did. He waited. Sure enough, it didn't take a whole minute for Henry to start talking.

"I heard you and my mom talking in the bedroom."

"You did?" Neal asked, faking surprise.

"Yeah." Henry paused for a second, then asked "What did my mom mean by saying she gave me up? It's not true, is it?"

Neal had no idea how to answer to that. Henry asked again.

"Is that true, dad?"

"Kind of. If you see things in a certain way..." he said, knowing a simple 'no' would be a lie.

"What do you mean?" Henry said, surprised. He expected his father to deny it.

"Henry, let's go inside and have this talk, ok? We don't want to bother the neighbors."

"Answer me!" Henry yelled, what made Neal jump.

"Henry Daniel Swan!"

Both looked behind them. Emma was by the window with a baby that, surprisingly, looked calm on her arms. She, on the other hand, was the opposite of calm.

"Get in here right now! And if I hear you screaming at your dad like that again, you will never hear the end of it!"

Neal watched, stunned, as the young boy looked down and dutifully entered back in the room.

"Now, go to bed." she said, in a softer voice. "Tomorrow we will talk, ok?"

Henry just nodded, a blank expression. Neal followed Emma out the room.

"Wow." he said after they closed the door.

"Was it too much?" she asked, unsure. "I came after you and all I heard was him screaming at you. I guess I just entered in character then. The character of the last year, you know? That's how that Emma would have answered."

"It sounded like a real mom to me." Neal said, smiling.

Emma didn't say anything. She still looked unsure.

"Can you make her burp?" She said, giving the baby to Neal. "I am afraid I might shake her too much."

Neal accepted the quest, and they went to Charlie's room. Emma sat at the nursing chair while he worked on it.

"Why was he upset?" she asked, rubbing her eyes. She looked so tired!

"He heard part of our talk."Neal said, softly.

"Oh."

"Yeah. I think it might be a good idea to ask my father to bring that potion. First thing tomorrow."

They kept silent for some minutes, until a soft burp was heard and Neal smiled. When he looked at Emma, she was weeping.

"Emma?"

He put the sleeping baby on the crib, then went to her side.

"I mess up everything, don't I?"

"I wouldn't say that. You just solved two big problems."

"What do you mean?"

"Half an hour ago we had a crying baby and an angry teenager. Now they are both sleeping. If that is not being a good mom, I don't know what it is."

"Henry must still be mad at me. And the baby... I was so scared to do something wrong!"

"But you didn't. Both times you just followed your instinct. Maybe that's all we need to do."

She kept crying and he finally decided it was his turn to be the parent.

"Come on, you are going to bed now. You are too tired, it was too much for a day."

She complied. He followed her to her bedroom, tucking her in then laying by her side. She let him hug her, like they used to do on the cold nights in the bug.

"Tomorrow I am going to the store. There is a way to pump breast milk into a bottle isn't there? This way you can rest for real and I can help you. And I am going to call my father. We will talk to Henry and everything will be solved. We will work everything out, Em."

The soft sound of his voice and the nickname that made her feel home involved her like a blanket and she closed her eyes, surrendering herself to sleep, finally relaxing for real.

He knew she was already asleep by the way her breathing changed. Even knowing that he kissed her cheek, murmuring:

"I love you, Em."