Hello, Kite here, it's been sometime since I updated, hasn't it? Well, school was pretty hectic, and my summer was packed to the brim, so I didn't have any time to touch this. Well, I hope you enjoy this delayed update, and please do leave a review with any thoughts, constructive criticisms, or suggestions.
I'll try to update within one or two weeks. Lol. We'll see what happens
Chapter 25: Let's get STARTED in Here!!?
READ: Let's get RETARDED in Here!!!!
Tenten got up, blushing colors, and ran away before either boy could stop her. So that left two boys, one seething the Furies of Hell out between his teeth, the other, much younger child, stupefied by recent events. Yes, usually, it is wrong for hot, young, female senseis to kiss their young, naïve, virgin pupils, even if it was an unforeseen accident. Especially in front of that special someone.
Inari was jerked awake by the loud thump of one irate Hyuuga landing heavily beside him. The white-eyed nin was emanating a fairly murderous aura from his body.
Inari stood up, brushed himself up, and grinned sheepishly at Neji.
"Ahaha, you two wouldn't happen to be dating now, would you?"
Tenten caught her breath at Ichiraku's.
"Curry ramen, large. Extra spice please."
She then slumped down panting. Brushing a strand of brown out of her eyes, she heaved an impressive sigh for her age as she recollected her thoughts.
Omfg I just kissed my PUPIL...it was an accident though...She slapped her cheeks with both hands. Yes, Tenten was one of those girls. Trained to kill, and kill she did, yet at the same time, she couldn't handle herself with a boy yet. Neji, Lee, and Shikamaru did not count. Naruto and Chouji even less.
When Ayame placed the steaming bowl of curried noodles in front of her, she dug in ravenously.
She retched most of it out somewhere along the streets of Konoha, drawing many whispers and stares
"Oh dear, she's a alcoholic!!"
"A druggie?"
"Somebody get an ambulance!!"
"I am NOT drunk!!"
Tenten continued storming down the streets in a huff, elbowing people out of the way in a rather vicious fashion. How dare they accuse her of getting drunk? She always won the drinking games and finished quite sober. (A/N: that is nothing to be proud of…trust me)
Flashback
Tenten cracked her neck loudly and stretched with a relaxed intake of breath as she set down her weapon of choice. Around her, bodies lay sprawled all over the floor. Amongst the chaos, she was the LMS. Last Man Standing. Just kidding. Tenten's a girl, really.
"Aaahi, guys, wasn't that just refreshing," she purred as she fondled the handle of her beer mug sexily.
The Hyuuga sprawled across the bar counter behind her twitched in drunken fashion as a reply. Shikamaru answered for him with a wavering, red-eyed glare from his uncomfortable position under a table.
"Y-You M-Monster…78…"
Flashback end
She passed by a bar. Stopped. Turned.
Ladies' Night, free drinks for the Ladies!
Tenten's eyes began sparkling like no other.
Inari, just finishing a session of training under the honorable tutelage of one Hyuuga Neji, crawled over a crooked tree root obtruding from the cracked earth.
"How was I supposed to know he had an eye for Tenten-chama…"
Inari had been introduced to the concept of interrogation by Neji. Neji decided that the time was ripe for teaching him about one of the wonders of ninjahood.
Interrogation.
Actually, it was more like Neji practicing her interrogation techniques on Inari after tying him to a tree. Neji was in fact a very perverse interrogator.
He used the Chinese water drop torture the most. Other times he just proceeded to punch Inari where it hurt the most
"You've got to learn to ignore the pain!!! Do your duty!!"
"And he said he wasn't jealous," groaned Inari. At the rate he was going, he'd be lucky to make it back before midnight.
Neji frowned, as he sat on the log. After a long day's work (today's work involved beating the shit out of certain trainee), Neji liked to kick back and just ponder over the meaning of life. In his hand, he held a piece of Tenten's ANBU mask. He fingered the smooth surface. This…was touching her cheek…
He grimaced. No, I refuse to have a fetish…
But of course, he couldn't resist holding it to his face. But still…this piece…touched Ten-chan's cheek…wish I could do that everyday…
He smiled lovingly as he caressed the mask piece with his face. In full view of a shocked Tenten. He sputtered and fell over when he realized she was standing next to him.
"T-Tenten! I can explain!"
"Wow, Neji, I never knew you were M-O-E for ceramics !"
"I…!?"
Neji wtf-ed mentally. Shaking his head, he held out the piece sheepishly. Tenten took it with a grin on her face and looked him in the eye. Taking several steps forward, Tenten moved right in front of her teammate, and cocking her head to the side, examined him closely.
"W-what?"
"Hmm…you're acting weird…since when do you stutter?"
"I…I was simply embarrassed..."
A slight pinkish tinge appeared on his cheeks. Tenten smiled at him adorably and began walking around him in a circle.
"So Neji-kun. Aside from your fetish for armor, don't you have any questions?"
"About?"
Neji heard her stop behind him.
"About…y'know…that morning…"
"Not really. I assumed you'd tell me when you felt ready."
Neji turned to her, his usual composure restored. He smiled briefly at her and strode over to her. His arm reached out and seized Tenten's arm, and before she realized what was going on, rolled up her sleeve. There, the ANBU tattoo was clearly marked on her upper arm, close to the shoulder.
"Do you want me to ask you questions?"
Tenten blinked at him.
"I said, if you want…"
"Very well. When did you join ANBU?"
"Several months back. I hacked into ANBU Central and created a personal data file for my alter ego, . I then stole forms for entrance into the ANBU and secretly filled them out and stole into the ANBU headquarters. Well, I actually…had some help. I had Yuugao-senpai help me get in. She thought that there ought to be more female ANBU."
Neji blinked stupidly. Did Tenten even have a computer? And since when did ANBU candidates actually fill out application forms? Sounded more like some kind of day job… I could have sworn the Hokage was in charge of selection…along with the ANBU Commander…but then again…its Tsunade…
"Ah Neji," she smacked a fist on her open palm, "That reminds me…you never showed up for the tryouts!"
"What?"
"I became ANBU through the first ANBU Konoha Tryouts Extravaganza ever!!!"
"…."
" !?"
"We're still talking about the ANBU assassination and spec ops squad right?"
She laughed at him, "Of course!"
"I could have sworn that ANBU candidates were secretly selected by a group of officials and the Hokage…"
"Yeah, well, Tsunade was feeling really lazy and didn't want to sit in to watch all of the candidates individually, so she decided to open a tryout for ANBU for all nin Chuunin and above! Well, she was a bit tipsy at the time, but that's beside the point."
Neji practically fainted. If that was true, Konoha was finally going under. Even Chuunin could participate? Neji sighed, turned, and began bumping his head into a tree trunk repeatedly.
"What-The-Bloody-Fauking-Hell-Is-Wrong-With-That-Drunk-Of-An-Hokage!!!!!!"
"Well, I think I was the only one who passed."
"Really?"
"Mhmm. The council found out though, so my status has been placed on probationary for sometime. I'm regarded as just a low-level soldier at the moment."
A few minutes of head bonking and bleeding later, he sat down and heaved another impressive sigh. His brain was having too much exercise recently. Neji doubted he could take another shock.
"Oh and Neji?"
"Hn?"
"I…" she trailed off, her voice wavering.
Neji looked up at a suddenly downcast Tenten, who was staring down at her feet and twiddling her thumbs. It was a side of Tenten Neji had seen only twice in his life previously
"I've…b-been feeling squeamish for a couple of weeks now…a-and…I-I haven't had my period yet…"
Neji's jaw dropped to the earthy floor with a dull thud. Just kidding. But it did drop.
Pausing for a moment, almost nervously, she continued, "N-Neji-kun…I-I don't understand…"
She began tearing up, as enormously droplet formed around her eyes. Neji was feeling very uneasy indeed. He hated it when girls cried; it was annoying. But when Tenten cries, his heart simply breaks in the face of his teammate's tears.
"N-Neji-kun, I-I…I…d-do y-you think I-I'm pregnant? …I-I was wondering what you think we s-should d-do…?"
Neji's face froze into a look of utter Hyuuga shock (with reflexive activation of the Byakugan) as his semi-peaceful world shattered into a billion little shards. Somehow, he did not scream out
He stared at Tenten's feet blankly. At that moment, Tenten burst out laughing. She staggered to his side and sat down on a clean part of the log he was sitting on. Neji looked at her, his cogs finally figuring out that he had just been played up horribly.
Neji, now in light of the situation, realized that they never had anything that amounted to a late-night rendezvous. The most the ever shared together was a kiss, a couple one-sided ones on that note.
Neji had been fairly overwhelmed by recent events, so his mind had seemed of late unable to think things out logically.
"Hahaha, Neji, you actually, fell for it!!!"
Neji covered his face with his hand in embarrassment. They weren't even a couple. Neji had been dreaming way too much these past days.
Tenten had finally calmed down, wiping tears of mirth off her face. Sighing deeply, she looked at him curiously.
"I'm surprised you haven't blown up at me yet."
"Hn."
Neji kept his face buried in his hands.
"Sorry Neji-kun, it was a bad joke, ok? Please look at me?"
"Hn…"
"Neji?"
"Hn?"
"I'm really, really, really sorry…"
"I heard."
Tenten immediately flung herself around Neji neck, dragging back of them down to the ground.
"Neji-Neji-Neji-Neji-kun-Neji-Enji-Genji-Neji-kuuuun!!!!!!"
Neji was laying on his back. She's drunk…she's drunk as hell…isn't she?
A wet peck on his cheek made him freeze up.
"T-T-Tenten-san!!!"
She abruptly hiccupped blacked out.
Definitely not your normal girl…Neji sat up and scratched his head, letting the drunk kunoichi slide off.
"Tenten…there's a limit, even to being a tomboy…"
Flushing with sweat and an eerie tingling feeling, Neji slung Tenten across his back and headed back towards Konoha.
As he leapt through the trees away from the small clearing, he didn't notice the figure who stepped out of the shadows behind the log.
"Tenten, my little girl, you haven't changed much, have you?"
The figure chuckled to himself and turned around and came face to face with an ANBU mask.
"Ah…ahaha…hahaha…Yu—"
"HAYATE!!! WHERE THE HELL DID YOU GO???"
"Ah…haaa…um, hey! Let's go get a drink! It's on me!"
Ssssss…mmmm…I love the smell of fried meat in the morn'n…give that to me dear…
"Get some yourself, it's on the damn table top."
Tch…touchy touchy…angry now that your lover-boy's gone on a mission?
I am not dropping a chunk of meat down the front of my shirt!
You don't need to, dropping it down the back of your shirt is fine too.
Get the Fuck out of my clothes. Get. Get out.
Touchy Touchy…ssss….fine…Mandra slipped in slippery fashion out of Anko's sleeve. Her arm had been placed conveniently next to the platter of BBQ meats, so Mandra found it easily within reach. The snake bared a fanged grin and dug in.
Just as Sakura walked in the door.
"AAAAH THERE'S A SNAKE ON THE PICNIC TABLE!!!!!!!"
"Calm down, it's just Mandra."
Sakura did not calm down. In fact, she refused to take orders from anyone to shut up. So she ran out the same way she came in screaming. Tsunade sighed. Sakura seemed to have had a fear of snakes for quite sometime. Not going to make her any more popular with Sasuke…wherever that bastard is…
"Y'know…this girl hasn't really been the same with snakes ever since her first Chuunin exams. At least that's what Sarutobi used to say. Wonder why…did the Forest of Death have any giant, man-eating snakes?"
Anko shrugged and ripped off a chunk of the luscious, tender, barbecued me—
"CAN YOU SMELL WHAT THE ROCK IS COOKING???"
Anko spat off her bite in typical ninja fashion as a new threat entered the scene with a blast. Six large dishes, fully loaded with, splattered onto the table, spinning to complete stop. Unfortunately, their content didn't end so neatly. Anko found herself the unlucky victims of thick, savory sausages, yellow scrambled eggs in butter, some sizzling hot bacon, and several pounds of soft potatoes with herbs. Anko shifted her head aside to avoid the impact of an uncapped bottle of Ketchup, which flew past her head. Unfortunately, it was uncapped.
Anko, eyes closed in disgust, calmly wiped her face of the scrambled eggs in tomato sauce as Tsunade began flinging large, blunt objects through the air, such as a coiled Mandra. She hadn't been hit with anything tasty, but her sake bottle had been taken out in the first salvo, and its remains were currently soaking in a slowly spreading puddle of warmed alcohol.
"Get…out…of THIS HOUSE YOU DUMB MUSHROOMS!!!!!"
Rock Lee and his mentor quickly escaped via the kitchen window. Well, Gai actually couldn't fit through the window. So now there was a Maito Gai-sized hole above the sink where the window used to be.
"Tsunade-sama, if you keep flailing objects around like that, my pet wont have a head anymore."
"Gomen. But those two are getting D-class missions for the rest of the week. And they'll be doing them alone and far away from Konoha."
They all turned as they heard the door creak open silently. But no one entered the room.
Tsunade blinked, staring at Anko, who had suddenly relaxed a bit, a creeping grin appearing on her face.
"What?"
"Kakashi's back, he got attracted by the smell of the food on the floor I suppose."
Tsunade turned at the sound of someone clearing his/her throat. She let out a shriek as she found herself face to face with none other than Kakashi. He cracked a lackadaisical grin at his Hokage, he saluted to her as his arms blurred in front of him, snatching up pieces of meat, which quickly disappeared behind his ever present mask.
A second later, Kakashi collapsed onto the chair next Anko feeling much more satisfied. A heavy backpack poofed into existence and landed on the table with a thump, scattering silverware and squishing sausages
"So, Hokage-sama, I finished my mission. Want my report now, or when you decide to return to your office?"
"Now is fine, Anko-san may hear this."
"Right, it seems there has been large troops movements between Cloud and Stone. But strangely enough, those nins don't appear to belong to either of the aforementioned. Rather, I've been hearing rumors of the Great Clans remnants moving about somehow, even though they should have been wiped off the map decades ago, during your time. Its true, we've always heard rumors in other countries about remnants, but that war. I recall that there were some…indisputable massacres committed by our side," Kakashi made a small frown, "I believe that rather that the clans having been resurrected, a small handful of survivors, as in affiliated nukenin rather than surviving blood members of the families, may be acquiring new followers in an attempt to rebuild their powerbase, even with the loss of the Three Families. This might start another war. And, it seems that Cloud and Stone are turning blind eyes to their actions. Either that, or the remnants were simply rumors disseminated by Stone or Cloud agents to confuse us. I personally would be more worried about Stone and Cloud. Its not that I don't believe the reformation of the Great Clans, but they're less of a threat than the already established Stone and Cloud. Konoha and Suna may have to face them together. I can't be sure, but maybe one of the ANBU returning in a few days will be a more comprehensive and up-to-date report on whether there has been an alliance between Cloud and Stone"
Tsunade leaned against the frame of the kitchen entrance, thinking over what she had just heard. That girl….Kimiko…we'll need to get her back and hold her…
"Kakashi, I know you're tired, and your girlfriend here wants to spend some time with you, but I'm afraid I have to ask one last thing. Please contact the head of ANBU. We may have a war on our hands soon enough."
Anko sputtered on a mouthful of orange juice. "Wh-what do you mean girlfriend?"
"You're over the hill. You should at least give it a shot."
"…Excuse me, who's over the hill here? I'm pretty sure that I haven't really reached the age where all I care about are the personal love lives of others."
"Touché."
Neji fired a ball of chakra at the girl, and she batted it away with her chakra-enhanced katana. He strolled towards her, almost casually, firing out palm bursts, driving her up against eh tree trunk behind her. It was right when he started smirking, when he realized that the patch of ground he stepped on was rather bumpy.
"Tenten, you didn't…"
Tenten cackled gleefully, rubbing her hands together in mock evil-dictator fashion.
Neji's figure was engulfed in a massive explosion as the camouflaged mine beneath exploded. Tenten just leaned back against the tree and sighed heavily in relief. She looked up to see Neji fall down from the sky, landed in front of her with a splash of leaves fluttering down from the tree.
Panting heavily, he stared at her with his Byakugan. Tenten clicked her tongue sympathetically as she strode forward and patted down a couple flames singing his robes.
"You know, I was afraid you'd sense my technique…"
"…"
"So, does that mean I win Neji?"
Tenten snapped her fingers, and the trees around her abruptly exploded in simultaneous fashion, raising a cover of dust in the clearing. Scattering branches and bark flew through the air, as numerous explosives rumbling throughout the training area.
Dispatching the clone with a kunai, Tenten immediately crouched into a combat stance, as the kunai in her hand was replaced with her katana.
"Neji. You. Are. Not. Human."
A low rumbling voice echoed through the clouds of dust obscuring her vision.
"Tenten, you detonated enough explosives to take out the Hokage Tower. The keeper of the grounds won't be too happy about this."
"Yeah, yeah. How are you still alive?"
"I'm a Hyuuga." And why are you trying to kill me?
"…Are you going to let a girl wait?"
Tenten whipped about, slashing through the air around her with blinding speed. But she struck nothing but air. Shadows danced around in the dust. Her eyes flitted from side to side, as sweating mingled with dirt, caking her face.
"Boo."
Tenten slammed her katana into Neji's side, only to have it caught between two of his fingers. Tenten thrust her free palm at his face, but a snaking hand knocked it aside and headed straight for her neck. She jerked her head aside to avoid the blow.
Going in low, she moved under his Jyuuken, only to be met with a knee to the chest. Tenten found herself tumbling backwards along the ground, feeling jagged rocks cut away from the craters she had made herself.
Neji, still holding onto Tenten's katana, wasted no time in leaping after her. When Tenten had finally stopped rolling, she found herself with a very fine blade edge against her pale, sweat-drenched neck. At that moment, Tenten realized just how well she took care of her weapons, duly noting it from the blindingly shiny side of the sword in her teammate's hand.
Neji grinned and pulled Tenten to her feet. She tiredly stood in front of him, letting the Hyuuga pat her down from head to feet, wiping off chucks of dirt that clung onto to her attire. She was exhausted, and did not mind Neji babying her at all. In fact, she welcomed it. Hard-working kunoichi such as Tenten always deserved their own Hyuuga slave.
As Neji was cleaning her training shirt and pants with gentle brushes of his hands, Tenten realized just how much punishment she had inflicted on the local scenery. There weren't very many lush, green trees around. In fact, there wasn't much of anything left standing. Tenten's demolitions expertise had expanded the clearing by a forty-meter radius. But in her half-wake state, she really didn't care that much.
Tenten noted blandly that Neji wasn't quite as perturbed as the average person ought to have been in the face of such utter destruction. Of course, he was Hyuuga Neji after all. The fact that his partner was a walking one-girl arsenal probably made him happy. The newfound fact that she leveled forests faster than teams of trained, burly lumberjacks merely gave cause for celebration.
"Oi oi, Neji, so you're not quite surprised at what we accomplished during training today?"
"Not bad, not bad at all. The explosive entrapment linked to the minefield was brilliant. But your reactions in hand-to-hand combat was rather poor. Are you tired?"
Tenten froze for a moment, thinking how wonder it would be if Neji had freaked out an started screaming at her for blowing away much of the surrounding terrain like any normal ninja would. Lee definitely would not have been pleased with the number of the squirrels she had killed or crippled. She gave him a quick thwack on the head, half-not expected it to hit.
Neji let it strike him across the forehead.
"Hn?"
He was now wiping her face and neck with a wet rag.
""Neji, where did you get that?"
"Oh, I had a feeling that you'd be very dirty after today's training."
"Why didn't you do it before?"
"…Because."
"Because?"
"Because some girls need to show gratitude when people are being nice to them."
Neji smirked and grabbed her hand, which was threatening to land another blow on him.
"Now, what was your original question?"
"Never mind. Did you hear that rumor floating around JOCC (A/N: like jock)?"
Tenten referred to the Jounin Command Center as the JOCC. It took Neji a surprising amount of time to catch on when she started using it.
"No, I haven't had a mission in a couple days."
"War. Some said that it was against Cloud, and some said Stone. It might just be both. What do you think?"
"They're just rumors. I will not believe without some sort of evidence. What I did hear was that several S-class nukenin were spotted around the outskirts of Konohagakure."
"Oh yeah, they're reforming the guardian squads. Ever since we defeated Akatsuki, we've never had to call on the squads. Of course…I never felt like we really defeated them, they just sort of…disappeared…we only found three bodies…Itachi and Kisame-san are still out there somewhere, as Sasuke-kun is too—"
"Tenten…"
"—And the ANBU are being sent farther away than usual, we have agents—"
"Tenten." His vein started pulsing beneath his eye.
"—every country—"
"Ten-chan?"
"Yes Neji-kun?" She smiled ever so sweetly at her partner. Neji gripped her firmly by the shoulders, and abruptly spun her head over heels, eliciting a rather piercing shriek from her. Setting her back on her feet, Neji held her as she collapsed against him.
"What was that for!??"
"You weren't listening."
"Buy me dinner."
"What?" Neji stared at her through one eye, keeping the other closed as he stretched out his arms.
"I'm hungry, buy me dinner. Dumplings are nice."
Neji sighed and agreed. When Tenten asked for something, she usually got it. She was quite aggressive when it came to food.
…
Shikamaru had indeed finished the planning, and with great gusto, he had presented it to the Hiashi and the rest of the Hyuuga Council. In the form of a slideshow. He had taken great pains to finish this project. Once Shikamaru starts a something, he tends to finish it, even if he is lazy. And he'll do it well. Which is why he hates taking on projects.
Hyuugas are very picky people. Look at Neji. Only Tenten, the perfect kunoichi (in his eyes, which are quick sharp I might add), could suit his manly needs. And a full course of ass-kicking a day.
Shikamaru was just slightly nervous, but this wasn't the first time he was put on the spot. The Hyugas were all staring, some glaring, and Hiashi looking as though it was his brithday. Of course, in the face of such utter brilliance from Konoha's laziest genius, they could only applaud at the glory that was…THE NEW AND RE-VAMPED HYUUGA VALENTINE BALL…SHIKA-STYLE.
Shikamaru pressed the clicker in his hand, and the image on the screen behind him shifted to bear the words "Annual Valentine Ball—Bringin' it back ol' school Hyuuga-style, for 7 days straight"
"And so, for seven days, we shall have a grand ball. The first day, when the clans arrive, I understand that many will have come to find suitable wives and husbands for their heirs. So we will hold a ballot vote. The vote will decide whether or not we do the pairings by random or auction-style. The auction will be for the daughters."
A wizened Hyuuga in the back cheered.
"…Actually, on second thought…" Temari would smack me with her fan…
"The third choice will be omimai-style."
A large groan echoed throughout the room.
"THEN WHAT DO YOU WANT DAMMIT??"
Shikamaru just then realized that he had swore at the entire Hyuuga Council.
"I mean…any suggestion? Hehe…"
The wizened old man in the back raised his hand.
"Hai, Hyuuga-sama?"
"How about having an auction just for display, then a omimai to meet the goods!!??"
Shikamaru sighed as the room erupted into applause. I wonder what Tenten or Ino would say…. This is why slavery lasted so long. Of course, Shikamaru really did not feel like lecturing on past Konohan history…
Anyways, Shikamaru continued on, with occasional shuffling of papers and clicking of the controller.
"So blah blah, blahblahblah…and blah blah blahing, and more blahing with some blahing to spare…yeah, and I was thinking, we could blah blah blah blah blah blah. And then Neji could Blah the Blah out of the aforementioned blahhers blah blah-ing."
And so, for four hours, Shikamaru displayed his great plan for the annual ball. And then he realized he had missed dinner and his mother would kill him. Most of the chamber had fallen asleep by then, so after giving a small good-bye to Hiashi, Shikamaru quickly left, leaving his blueprints behind for Neji's use.
"Neji, you owe me," he muttered under his breath as he walked out of the Hyuuga estates.
The next morning, Neji traveled to Naruto's house. It wasn't really that he wanted to see the blonde boy, but Inari had decided to room with his "older brother".
Neji found not a blonde haired face that poked its head out of the creak of the door, but—
"Hinata-sama!!!"
"Neji-niisan!!"
"The hell?"
"G-Gomen nasai!! I slept over…"
Hinata was shoved aside with gentle care by a furious Neji, who blasted through the door into the apartment interior.
A not-so-awake Naruto sat down at his kitchen table, yawning loudly. He had a bowl of instant ramen in his hands. Blinking, he picked up chopsticks and looked down into the steaming bowl. Taking in the luscious aroma of preservatives and a boatload of MSG, he grinned in a drunken stupor and dug in.
Oh, he loved ramen. There was a time where he ate nothing but ramen for a month. Curry ramen, miso ramen, saltwater ramen, plain ramen, he loved them all. Naruto grinned as he picked up the bowl with both hands and lifted it to his lips.
It took his brain about ten seconds to acknowledge that a very, very upset Hyuuga Neji was standing opposite of him, panting heavily.
"Oh, morn'n Neji, what's up, my brother-in—?"
Those would be the last words coming out of Naruto's mouth, as a chakra-infused palm blasted through his bowl of ramen that he was holding up to his mouth. Naruto, sleepy and unable to defend against such a ferocious attack, was cruelly knocked unconscious after being sent out the second story window. But still, Neji was not sated.
With a roar about defending Hinata-sama's purity, Neji leapt out the window.
A loud UMPH followed by a piercing, wretched scream cracked the sky as Neji landed on Naruto with a double knee drop.
Actually, aside from that incident, where as Hinata did not speak to Neji for the rest of the day (she tried to feign anger, but Neji gave her such a sad, forlorn look, that she had to go and give him a hug later) the days before the Valentine Ball passed without much in the way of events. Other than Kiba coming back from a week long mission and having his ass kicked consecutively by Sakura and Ino after Akamaru devilishly flipped Sakaura's skirt while Kiba happened to be standing right behind her.
Tenten sighed as she walked the streets alone. Weaving through pedestrian traffic, she wandered about the city, feeling very bored. Where is Neji? I haven't seen him since our training session on Wednesday.
It was around noon of that hot Saturday when she began to notice that she was seeing a lot of shinobi and kunoichis and people she had never seen before at all. She saw the headbands flashing in the sun. They all reflected different symbols, stating where the wearer hailed from. Tenten noted that the ANBU were tracking the movements of these newcomers, but did nothing but that.
Stuffing her face with pork dumpling, she continued around, having found a new interest. She wondered why they were so many foreign people around. Of course, by the time she got to the west gate, she found all her questions answered.
The massive west gate was there as usual, surround by the zillion-meter high walls. Except, there was a large, pink, purplish banner hung between the two supporting beams of the gate. Walking outside, she turned to read the banner
"315th Annual Pan-Clan Valentine Celebration! Hosted By Hyuuga Clan of Konoha!"
Tenten heard chattering to the side, and she turned to see a Hyuuga delegation receiving more of the foreign guests. Tenten noted with an odd fascination that several of the Hyuugas were wearing pink, frilly dresses. Suddenly, an idea struck her. Hard.
She clapped her hands with glee, drawing attention from some of the cloaked group that was speaking with the Hyuuga delegation.
"Heeeyyyy, it's Neji's female subordinate!!!!"
Tenten delayed the welcoming process for about an hour with the abrupt dropping of a 40 kg Joy To the World-class bomb on top of the processing and check-in table, which did a hell lot more than scatter papers. Smiling as politely as she could, she poofed away in a cloud of white wisps. The current clan party being check-in blinked stupidly at the bomb. So did the Hyuuga servants present. The single Hyuuga there had the sense to take a look at the bomb with his Byakugan. Not that it helped him at all. Whistling happily, Tenten skipped across the top of the twenty-story walls with a definite joy as a large mushroom cloud rose up behind her, the accompanying explosions rumbling through this side of town. She made a mental apology to all the vendors whose carts had been upturned by the proximity of the explosion.
Neji sighed as he watched the 30-acre courtyard fill up with the clanners. He stared moodily at his drink stonily.
"Hiashi, technically speaking, aren't many of these clans the enemies of Konoha?"
"Oh yes, but Tsunade gave the Hyuuga clan special dispensation to hold this with certain blacklisted clans as well. We could use it to gather information as well. Shikamaru-kun planned a fighting tourney, which I expect you to win. The winner gets the right to pair up with any girl of his choice as I recall."
"What about that…auction," asked Neji, "and what exactly do you need me here for? I'm not really doing anything"
"Oh, as the host, you're required to participate. We'll see how many marriage proposals you get!!!"
"…What about Hitomi and her father?"
"Hmm?"
"I thought you were trying to get me engaged to Hitomi?"
"Well, if you'd like, I must admit that her hair is fantastic, every time it moves it changes color!!! I would not mind having you create a cute little heir like that…Byakugan and blue and purple hair…what knock-outs…well yes, technically, we never finalized the contract annulments.
Neji snorted loudly in his punch.
"…So, basically, you're just trying to set me up with some clan girl right? Make some babies?"
"Yes, as a matter of fact, I want to be a grand-uncle before I pass away. It's okay if you want concubines too. It's just I'm pretty sure that many of the clans may object to that. I mean, I have absolutely no qualms about you introducing multiple young, lithe, buxom nieces-in-law to our clan. I really wouldn't you know?"
Neji sighed. He really, really hated the birds and the bees. He was very happy indeed to know that Tenten knew nothing of the matter. Wait, why was he concerned about what Tenten knew? Oh, right, Tenten's his very special teammate, a face he'd see everyday. It would be odd indeed if she suddenly starting talking of babies and the like. Hell, he'd freak if she started to get interested in boys more than weapons.
"Actually Neji, you should go and pick a girl to go with anyways, we start off with making as many pairings as we can before the ball. If you can't find yourself a girl, then I'll find one for you. In fact, I even created a temporary council for finding suitable Hyuuga brides for our singles. I made sure that my favorite nephew was on the list."
"Thanks. A lot. Dear uncle." FAAAAAUKKK! &(#&$(#(#
Hiashi smiled and walked away, stroking his nonexistent beard. And then stopped a couple meters away. And clapped his hands, laughing manically. Neji found himself surrounded by several Main House members.
"Hyuuga Neji, please report to MAC-2. You shall find the Hyuuga Council of Singles' Salvation waiting for you."
Neji snorted into his punch again, this time practically shooting the tangy liquid up his nostrils. For a second, he thought they were joking. Turning away to drain the juice out of his nose, he turned back after he had finished, trying to salvage some dignity. And then he realized they were all glaring at him the way Sasuke used to glare at Sakura. Um. Shit. Times two.
Well, there goes Hyuuga Neji's dignity. Whatever's left of it.
After allowing himself to be hauled off to another sector, Neji arrived at the auction area. Or one of the large auction areas. Then he realized just how many people there were. There were at least six different stages, each with a massive video monitor for the people in the back and midgets who couldn't see past people of average height. He noted with some sick humor that three were for displaying the female heirs, and three for the male. Shikamaru…when I see you, I'm going to rip your brain out with your ponytail…damn pineapple head. What kind of bullshit idea was this?
Neji found himself steered behind a stage. There, he found an ecstatic Hanabi and a very, very shell-shocked Hinata.
"S-S-So m-many p-people!!!! N-Neji-niisan! I-I don't w-want to go u-up t-there again!!"
Neji blinked and patted her head sympathetically while snatching another punch from a passing waiter. They were inside a large, spacious room, with several doors leading to other parts of the stage, or dressing rooms, and one room that did not have a sign. Neji found himself being swarmed with attendants as they pushed him gently into one of the room. It was around that moment when Neji realized that he was the only male in the room. The Main House members had already left. Oh. My. God. Shikamaru. If I survive this humiliation, I'm tacking your ass to my wall.
"Forgive us, Neji-sama, but Hiashi-dono ordered us to do this."
Neji started screaming. Very loudly. He started screaming because his hands weren't moving. And so they gave him a rather generous dose of anesthetic to put him to ease. The prodigy fell to sweet dreams of dancing with the other pretty girls of Konoha.
Hide was standing in front of the gates to the Hyuuga Estates. Indeed, he had quite the job. Hide must have talked to at least groups from 70 different clans from all over the continent, with the Five Great Shinobi Countries represented.
The men in the purple robes that waltzed past him had come from Stone. Stoners…hehehe….they're Stoners!!!
Anyways…
Hide found that he was tipped every now and then by the parties he let in, which proved to be very profitable.
"Next group!"
He smiled cheerfully at the cloaked and hooded clanners that moved in front of him.
"Do you have your ticket from the registration desk?"
One of the figures produced the pink piece of parchment. In the shape of a curvy heart, the signed sheet was noted by Hide for the umpteenth time this day.
"So, Clan? Affiliation? Names? And would you like to be announced?"
Hide gestured to the Hyuuga band right behind him with a rather grin that was more restrained laughter than politeness. Several unfortunate, musically gifted members of the Hyuuga household stood behind Hide, decked out in all their glory with all the markings of a Hyuuga in the springtime of love. Each held some sort of brass instrument in their hands, and all were looking utterly humiliated.
The tallest hooded figure took a one look at the Hyuuga Marching Band and snorted with laughter. His companion elbowed him sharply in the ribs to shut him up.
The hooded one with the signed slip from the welcoming committee answered for their small group, speaking in the clear, crisp voice of a confident diplomat, "Clan of the Moons, I am named Shadow. These two here are my companions Rift and Rain. We are a non-affiliated clan, though we have had certain ties with the Land of the Moon"
"A what?"
"Non-affiliated, meaning if World War III breaks out, we'll be neutral and we'll be able to double our income by playing both sides," answered
"Ah, of course, sign here, please," Hide handed the lead figure a clipboard.
Shadow whipped out a pen and quickly wrote his signature down. And then he slashed two large red X's next to his name.
He looked up, and Hide saw a mouth curve into a grin as Shadow said, "Those are for my compatriots, who happen to be illiterate."
The two could suddenly feel a chilling aura creep up form the shorter figure behind Shadow, who grinned again and dropped a pouch of money onto the table. "A the donation."
The cloaked group tromped away past Hide to join the colorful sea of people chatting inside the Estate.
Hide lifted the hefty pouch and juggled it around, feeling very happy with the weight of the pouch. Snickering, he opened it, expecting to find coins of some sort. His jaw dropped. The weight of the bag derived not from many shiny coins, but from jagged, ugly rocks.
Kite took off his cloak and turned to Kimiko and Rick with a rather evil smirk.
"Kite, you can stop smirking now, there's no use for it anymore."
"Oh, sorry."
He face instantly became the good-natured, handsome one they all knew and lov—
WHAP!
Kite staggered backward, a hand spring instinctively to his face. Kimiko, her cloak off as well, had socked him one. "What do you mean by 'illiterate'?"
Kite looked her in the eye for a moment. He noted the fact that however blind she may be, Kmiko's eyes seemed to be burning holes through his skull. He blinked twice. Wait. She was blind, wasn't she? He couldn't sense any chakra behind the eyes so her kekkai couldn't be working. Why the hell were those beautiful pearly orbs locked onto his face?
"S-stop that," he shied away, covering his face, "You're scaring me!!"
Rick snorted as he snagged a goblet of some alcoholic beverage from a passing waiter.
Meanwhile…
Shikamaru knew his brilliance. In fact, he utilized it whenever using brain cells instead of muscles was deemed feasible. Of course, brilliance had its low moments. Like the fact that he was currently in line with two dozen girls he didn't even know. The irony of it all was the fact that he had concocted this $(&$#ing festival without leaving himself any margin of leeway. So he found himself a victim of his own brilliance. Life is funny that way.
"Shika-kun!!"
Scratch that.
2 x 12 – 1 23 gals he'd only just met and had no desire of being acquainted with. As his dad had bluntly put it, "The more girls you know, the more chances you have of losing your life and soul to some damn wo—OWWW HONEY WHAT THE FAUKING HELL WAS THAT F—."
Shikamaru recalled the fact that his father, a Jounin, had been taken out with one well-aimed porcelain plate. He shivered, and since then, had taken precautions whenever he would come face to face with a member of the opposite sex. He had actually stayed awake for a whole class when the teacher informed him that his cell included Ino.
After getting acquainted with Ino, he thought she wasn't too bad for a girl. A bit dim in the head yes, but she made good conversation most of the time. Of course, it was completely differently with that Uchiha Sasuke around. She'd turn into a screaming, drooling, utterly flabbergasting fangirl whenever he (as in the Uchiha) was within the immediate vicinity.
Good Lord, women were fine under normal condition, but whenever their hormones got riled up…well, Shikamaru just walked away and slept somewhere.
Unfortunately, he really didn't have a chance of getting away at all. Temari was…unique. As much as she doted on him, she always had that cruel streak which left him with nightmares of her as a leather-clad succubus of sorts.
She was smart. He liked that. She could kick ass. He respected that. She was in full control of her emotions (usually). He admired that. She could cook. He was in love with that aspect of her. She was strikingly beautiful and fit. He hated himself for liking it. She had a cruel streak whenever she had a crush, contrary to most girls. Shikamaru realized the dangers that his father had alluded to before being sent to Dreamland.
She played the part of the rabid fangirl with unexpected enthusiasm. It had sent Shikamaru into shock. And it took several pursuits to realize that while she WAS in full control of her emotions and WAS NOT in fact rabid, he discovered that not only did she enjoy pretending to be his fangirl, she loved tormenting him. It was around that time he figured out that she was also rather enamored with him.
Well, he took note of that after she started referring to him as "Shika-kun" rather than "Shikamaru".
"Shika-kun, I didn't thik you'd look so pretty in that kimono!"
A honeyed voice hiding a shadow of malicious amusement dragged Shikamaru by the ear back to reality. It was about then he noticed her WAS wearing a kimono. For girls.
"Temari?"
"Yeah, honey?"
"Why am I doing this?"
"Because you're hot."
"Temari?"
"Yes, honey?"
"I actually prefer 'Shika-kun' rather than 'honey'…and I don't really think that I look in anyway attractive."
"Ok, honey. But Neji did say I get to play with you for the rest of this celebration!"
Shikamaru twitched with vengeful anger directed at more than one person. And then he realized that one of the persons in question happened to be sharing his same fate. With that knowledge, Shikamaru managed a smile and then consoled himself by admiring Temari sharp looks and slender curves without giving away any look of desire that would easily escape any less capable male.
Temari still took note of the looks of non-desire and pretended to preen herself so she could see Shikamaru slap himself mentally.
Sharp girl…not that I like that part about her…but then again, can't say I don't like it now, can I?
Shikamaru spared her a weak smile, which was returned with a happy-go-to grin from the Kazekage's sister.
"All right ladies, it's time! Go out there and sparkle like the stars! You might just find your future hubby!"
Hyuuga Neji sneezed, sending face powder blowing away from him. The make-up specialist coughed, blinked out the powder, and wiped her face off with her sleeve. She glared at Neji icily.
"Sorry. I think I might be allergic to this stuff."
"All right, Group 4, you're next! Stylers, finish up and let them go, the curtains open in TWENTY!"
Neji suddenly found himself at he mercy of three more giggling girls as they worked over his face. His eyes closed as they applied all sorts of cosmetics to his face. Someone was brushing his hair behind him, which actually felt pretty darn good, he had to admit. Another was applying some sort of lipstick (My manhood…) while the other curled Neji's eyelashes. He suddenly felt the one behind him tying his hair up in some sort of elaborate ponytail-bun-thingy-mabober. With chopsticks. Maybe he could kill someone with them. Actually, he'd probably kill the first male to lay eyes on his defiled body.
"Neji-sama. Thank you for your patience."
Neji opened his eyes. He found himself face to face with his own reflection. His jaw dropped open in shock. A beautiful, black-haired girl gaped at him in shock as well. Oh wait. It's a bloody mirror. They a bloody mirror in front of me
He blinked. And then he realized that they had given him a costume that he definitely was not wearing while his eyes were closed. He turned to gape in shock at the three attendants, who giggled at him and waved in a very adorable fashion.
…They…changed my clothes without me noticing…oh my god, I am really out of it today.
It was about then the other girls, Hinata included, formed a line. Neji pondered on whether he should try to cut it and run away and wash his face. But every time he looked at the mirror, he found it hard to tear his eyes off the angelic face of that mysterious maiden.
In the end, which was about half a second later, He came to the decision: I'll stay put for now. I don't think anyone will recognize me. It'd be a pity to wash away the hard-work of these girls. Yes, that's right, it would be a waste
And thus, Hyuuga Neji discovered the vice of vanity.
Tsunade chatted enthusiastically with Hiashi beside a large plot of vibrantly colored flowers, holding a cup and a warmed bottle of sake. They touched on several subjects, ranging from Konoha's new foreign policy, to whether Hinata would find a suitor or not. Not was far away was Shizune, who was also talking with someone.
"Ah, so you're from Getsugakure?"
"That's correct." Kite smiled charmingly as he sipped at his punch.
"Ah, this is the first time I've met a shinobi from the Land of the Moon!"
"And this is my first time in Konoha, Miss?"
"Shizune is fine."
"Shizune-san. You said you were a medical ninja?"
"Ah yes, I am also the assistant of Tsunade-sama!"
"Ah, Tsunade. She's the blonde talking? Who is that next to her??"
Shizune turned to look at the two.
"Ah, that is Hyuuga Hiashi. He is the current head of the Hyuuga Clan!"
"Hyuuga Hiashi…Hyuuga…"
Shizune blinked. For a second, she could have sworn the young man's eyes turned red for an instant, his features hardened as he looked at the head of the Hyuuga household.
"Kite-san??"
"Oh, yes, my apologies Shizune-san, I was…thinking of some memories…"
"Oh, that's all right. Well then, shall I show you around the Hyuuga Estates??"
"That sounds fine, Shizune-san."
Shizune turned and began walking. Kite glanced at the Fifth Hokage and the Hyuuga head once more, before turning to follow Shizune.
End Chp 25
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