A/N: Thanks to those who have reviewed the previous chapter. I always love hearing what you all think. CP warning...nothing graphic but the implications are not pretty.

Chapter 25: Lines

Sarah knew she only had a few more days left at Hogwarts before she turned the magic 17 and the trace was taken off of her. After the debacle with the sword, she was determined to stay out of trouble and quietly sneak away to join Harry, but unfortunately, the forces seemed to be working against her lately- actually all the time.

"I think we are going to make a few changes today in the practical portion of our lesson" Amycus Carrow rubbed together his pudgy hands, his beady eyes upon her making her cringe. She couldn't quite read his expression, but she knew something was going on. She wracked her brain for anything that she could have done in the past few days that would warrant his wrath, but besides the candy incident, which they still believed was a virus, she came up with nothing.

"Black" he clapped his hands. "Cruciatus" he looked around as he paused dramatically. "On Parkinson"

Sarah forced herself to maintain her composure and clear her mind to reveal nothing. A quick glance at Pansy revealed a smirk. Her heart sunk- Pansy knew the game she and the DA were playing in Dark Arts class. How did she find that out? And now what was she to do?

Neville stiffened beside her and gently nudged her arm. A look at Draco revealed a discreet nod. She could read his mind so clearly then- he was drawing her into his thoughts.

Don't play the hero. She hates you. Just do it. Do it for real. The consequences are more than you can ever imagine if you do not. Sarah, please.

Sarah's snapped her head towards Carrow, indecisiveness tearing her apart. Pansy was cruel at times. She did hate her. But to use an unforgivable for real- at full strength? Did she really deserve that? But Pansy had her just where she wanted her- in an impossible situation.

Carrow's eyes were on her. "Is there a problem, Black?"

Sarah stepped forward and pointed her wand towards Pansy. Gathering her strength, she opened her mouth to utter the curse...only to find herself snapping it shut and pocketing her wand. She shrugged. "I just can't do it" she mumbled.

"Really?" Carrow stepped forward to grab her arm, squeezing it tightly to the point that she winced. "You see I find that surprising. You have demonstrated since the start of the term curses on your supposed friends...but you won't do it to the person who you hate?"

Sarah tried to twist away but Carrow held her fast. "Unless, Black...you have been faking it." He let her go abruptly and strode over to his desk, levitating a note towards her. "I found this on my desk today. Care to explain?"

Sarah commanded herself to clear her mind as she read the note outlining exactly the deception she had performed since the beginning of term. She looked up again. "You have no proof that this is true"

"Really?" Carrow smiled at her. "Then curse her and prove it isn't...oh yes, you just can't do it" He paused to glance at the other students, a warning in his eyes. "I don't need proof, Black. The Dark Lord will see your defiance as proof enough"

Sarah shuddered and Carrow pounced. "Oh yes, he will know about this. But don't fear, I'll handle your discipline before I turn you over to him. Maybe he will show you mercy..." he laughed hysterically at his own joke, "or maybe not"

He grabbed her arm and started to drag her to the hidden room for her to wait until class was over, but Draco ran forward, thinking on his feet.

"Stop"

Carrow turned to him like he was insane to question his decision, but Draco quickly and smoothly clarified. "The Dark Lord has commanded Snape deal with Black. He won't like you defying him no matter your intentions. Are you willing to risk his displeasure for this blood traitor?"

Carrow paused, contemplating his words. "Thank you, Mr. Malfoy. You are correct in that. Best not to risk it for this filthy blood traitor. Black" he released her arm and strode over to his desk, scribbling furiously on a parchment. "Give that to the Headmaster. Go immediately"

Sarah took the note from his hand and walked past her classmates to grab her bag and without looking back, she headed out the door, closing it firmly behind her. It was only then that she stopped to lean against the wall outside the classroom, her legs wobbling like they were hit with 12 jelly leg curses. Her heart was beating so quickly, it felt like it might explode. She tried to catch her breath, but she was losing the battle as panic was beginning to overcome her. She knew Carrow would check to make sure she left, so she managed to walk on her shaky legs the distance to Snape's office, mumble the password and drag herself up the steps. She knocked.

"Enter"

Snape was at his desk, his quill scratching on parchments scattered around his desk. Without looking up, he grunted impatiently, "yes?"

Sarah tried to speak, really she did. But she found that she couldn't. It was like after all this time of trying to be brave, she had finally lost the battle.

Snape looked up, annoyed. "Oh, Black" He was genuinely surprised to see her. "What's going on? Shouldn't you be in Dark Arts class?" he asked, the annoyance leaving his voice at her expression and her nervous shaking.

She mumbled, "I have a note"

Snape's eyes never left hers, him desperately trying to read her behavior. "Well, hand it over" he finally prompted as he held out his hand.

Sarah took a breath and using her wandless magic, banished the note towards him, it erratically swaying across the room until it landed at the right corner of his desk, instead of in his hand.

Snape rolled his eyes at her. "Really, Black. When I said hand it, I meant hand it. Using wandless magic when you are so jittery" he chided as he reached for the note. He read it swiftly, a deep frowning forming.

His head snapped up, his eyes furious. "What have you done, Sarah?"

"I.."

"Stop, mumbling this instance and talk to me!" Snape barked at her. "We don't have much time. Did you do this?"

"What do you think?" Sarah retorted, finding her voice.

"Of all the blasted idiotic things to do!" he groaned. "Do you care so little for your welfare?" Snape slammed the note down on his desk, the books rattling and shaking. "She hates you. You knew it was a trap- most likely set up by Parkinson herself. You knew that refusal to do so would confirm what you had been doing all term. After all that girl has done to you- to ridicule you, what she did to your hair... all you had to do was cast the curse. Why couldn't you just cast the damn curse, Black?"

"Pansy might be a nuisance and may have done terrible things to me, but she has never physically harmed me. I couldn't do it. That's not who I am" Tears sprung to her eyes. "I cannot be someone I'm not. You know that. How can you scold me for that?"

Snape let out an exasperated sigh. "Even if it is to save your own self?"

She shrugged again and Snape knew he was getting nowhere with her and truthfully, he knew that she was right. Her using the cruciatus for real on a classmate would forever alter her. But now, it was time to deal with the aftermath. His mind worked quickly through his options and there was only one he could come up with. But this horrible choice- it would widen the rift between them and plague him for the rest of his days. Just like what happened with Dumbledore.

Still, he pressed on. Taking his usual long strides, he swept over to where she was standing. His hand reached out for her. He hesitated, pulled it back slightly, before reaching out more confidently and grasping her chin, lifting it up. "Would you rather myself or Carrow or the Dark Lord handle this situation?" His voice was calm. "You cannot get out of the consequences- I cannot shield you from them"

Sarah wanted to back away from his touch, but there was something so comforting in the way he was holding her chin up. It was the way he often handled her as her father. She didn't move. "I'm not sure I understand..." her voice trailed at the implications. Would Snape actually curse her?

"Blast it, I'm not giving you a choice. My discipline is better than the others, but" Snape's hand was still on her chin. "I promised myself and your mother that I would never cross this line with you, Sarah. But don't you understand, if I handle your discipline, I have to or the others will do much worse. It might be the only way to soften their reaction towards you"

"You are going to use the cruciatus or some other horrible dark spell on me?" Sarah's voice broke at the thought and Snape shook his head swiftly, adamantly. "No, I will never do that to you. I promise you that, Sarah. It will be more of the what you should expect from me- of how I handle students your age, except" Snape hesitated slightly, before continuing, "harsher, stronger, longer, more intense"

He released her chin and swept back over to his desk, turning away from her so she could not see his expression. He was finding it difficult to shield his emotions from her. But he knew he must get a handle on it and quickly- before Carrow arrived.

His voice was low as he continued. "There must be evidence that my discipline was effective...otherwise the Dark Lord won't hesitate to leave evidence and his is much more dire than mine. Do you understand my meaning?"

Her throat felt incredibly parched as his meaning dawned on her. She cradled her hand with her other hand. The same hand that Snape had healed after Umbridge had left her mark...he was going to now leave his mark on it? Her heart tore in two. This was more evidence that this Snape was never her father. Her father would have never done this to her...no matter what.

"I'm not sure" the tears threatened as she stared at her shoes, "I can handle that" she whispered.

Snape's heart lurched as he squeezed his eyes shut. He was about to respond, but they were interrupted by a knock on the door.

He turned almost wildly at the sound. "Look me in the eyes" he hissed at her. Sarah's head jerked up to meet his eyes.

"You don't have a choice" he replied calmly, his demeanor changing from detached to soothing. His demeanor helped to calm her swirling emotions. "Clear your mind during. Detach yourself. You are the strongest almost 17 year old I know. You will do this. And afterwards, I will help you. It is the only way"

But his comfort was momentary as Carrow strode in, ready to witness Snape's discipline in action.

Snape watched the tears roll slowly down her face. He was aware of her knees shaking ever so slightly as she tried to keep standing straight. He listened to her hitched breath, her ragged breathing attempting to cover up the sobs that were welling deep inside of her, threatening to break free. He was cognizant of every tear, every movement, every sound, every change in expression. And the more he continued to inflict pain to satisfy the others, the more Sarah's reaction hinted at a vulnerability and a betrayal that reminded him that while she was days away from adulthood, her heart was still very much his little girl's. And because of that, he had to use every power of occlumency to hide his agony at the sounds and the sights he was witnessing and to play the role he was so coerced to play. He continued on, more and more aware of the redness and harsh marks that were appearing on her hand. Still he forced himself to continue. When he finally could not bear it any longer, feeling that his entire being was being torn to pieces, he stopped. He only hoped the length and harshness had satisfied Carrow. He only knew that he could not go on. Still, he forced his voice to remain harsh with her.

"Go sit over there and do try to get yourself under control, Black. And try not to make too much noise as you do"

She obeyed immediately, her eyes haunted and showing betrayal and Snape turned to Carrow. "Well, does that suffice?"

Carrow narrowed his eyes. "For me, but as you know, the Dark Lord is harder to please. Before I came, I made him aware of the situation-"

"You did what?" Snape's eyes sparked as he swept over to where Carrow was standing, towering over him. "I am headmaster of this school, not you..." he growled at him.

"And it was my class that she has made a mockery of this entire semester" Carrow replied. "It was my prerogative to contact the Dark Lord, as he ordered, if Black showed defiance in this particular area of her education. Which I did. I'm sure he will be pleased with the way you handled the situation...but still, he wants to see her at 7 pm- the usual place"

"Fine" Snape turned back around. "She will be there. I will see to it. You are dismissed" He waved a hand, and Carrow left. Snape uttered protective, silencing charms as he approached Sarah, tentatively. He longed to provide her the comfort she always craved from him as her father, but his words would have to suffice.

"Black" his voice was low.

"No" Sarah's head shot up. "Just don't say anything. I don't want to hear it" She stood, cradling her sore hand against her. "Can I be dismissed, sir?"

Snape opened his mouth to protest, but thought better of it. She had every right to shut him out in this moment. Instead he nodded his consent. "Be back here at 6:30. There are things I want to do to prepare you. Don't be late"

Sarah's eyes were vacant. "Yes, sir" she said automatically and hastily left his office, without a glance back.

Snape watched her flee, before turning to enter his quarters. He went straight to his bandy decanter, filling up a large glass and taking some rather big gulps before throwing the contents of the glass against the wall. His body shook as he sat down in his chair, but that reminded him of all the times throughout the years he sat there as a father, so he left the room, for the sanctuary of his bedroom. He used his wandless magic to fling the books off the bed, them crashing into the wall, disturbing several pictures there.

A picture floated out of one of the books, landing next to his foot. He levitated it up and stared at the picture he had just been looking at the night before- Sarah and Grace...

He sat on the bed in a daze, staring at the picture. Finally, he crumbled up the picture in his hand, holding it against his chest...allowing the bitter sobs to overtake him. What had he done? And defeated he realized, it was all for nothing. Voldemort would still surely be harsh with her, he hadn't spared her from that. But he knew one thing, he would never be able to ever forgive himself for crossing the line with her. He marked her hand with harshness and detachment just like Umbridge did. How he hated Umbridge for what she did to his adopted daughter. How he hated himself even more for what he did today

Sarah rushed down the stairs from the Headmaster's office, tears blinding her vision. She stumbled on one of the steps, but caught herself from falling at the last minute. She made it to the bottom and left the gargoyle only to find Draco waiting, leaning against the wall. She wondered how long he had waited, but she knew in her heart, the minute he was dismissed from class, he had come here to wait for her. That was Draco.

She wanted to rush right into his arms, to bury her head in his chest and have him erase the agony of the past half an hour. But instead, she paused in front of him.

"Can you take me somewhere quiet- separate from everyone?" her very demeanor was timid- so unlike her.

He studied her carefully and his eyes moved to the way she was holding her hand. He moved to take her other arm. "Come with me. Let's go some place safe" He lead her gently through the hallways, up the staircases, to the room of requirement.

They sat on the couch together and Draco positioned himself so he was facing her. Gripping her knees, he turned her towards him. Sarah lifted her legs to rest them on the couch, sitting crossed legged.

He reached for her hand that she was holding so close to her body.

"Don't say anything" Sarah said as his face hardened at the sight of her reddened hand. "Please, Draco"

"Don't say anything? There is no way this won't bruise" Draco responded, angrily. "Snape did this to you? How could he? How could he hurt you like this?"

"He knew that if he didn't, I would be turned over to the Carrows or to you know who himself" Sarah's tears pooled in her eyes. "He believed this would soften their reaction"

"There must have been another option" Draco argued. "Anything...he could have hidden you- helped you run away. Anything but this"

"That would have accomplished nothing" Sarah retorted, her hand still limp in Draco's.

"Then he should have stood in front of you and taken it for you!" Draco replied, harshly. "Instead of doing this" He rubbed her hand, gently, a stark contrast to his demeanor.

Sarah raised an eyebrow. "Like you did when you-know-who cursed me?"

Draco's face reddened. "It is what I should have done" he replied, bitterly. "If only I was more of a man for you..."

Sarah shook her head. "No, it isn't what you should have done. This is my battle. It's my fight" She tapped his cheek gently with her good hand. "And please don't doubt yourself. You are a good man- a strong man"

Draco snorted, but instead of rubbing her hand, he began to tenderly caress it. "A death eater, Sarah"

"You aren't in your heart" Sarah replied firmly. "You only became one to protect your family and when it came down to it, you couldn't become a killer unlike" she paused and frowned. Her lip trembled.

"It really was all a lie, wasn't it?" The tears began to fall. "If Snape had ever cared, you are right, he would have found another way"

Draco released her hand. "Come here" He opened his arms and Sarah didn't hesitate. She buried her face in his shoulder as he rubbed her back, massaging it gently.

After a few minutes of silence, Sarah pulled away, her breath becoming ragged from crying. "You know it's just that in spite of what I know, I can't make Snape wholly evil- not like you-know-who or the Carrows or Bellatrix. How could I? I still have so memories of what he was like before all of this. It was like I have always hoped that I would wake up and find out that this was a dream. And even now, I want to justify his behavior, but I can't"

"You shouldn't" Draco told her. "He is my godfather and I love him, but you shouldn't make excuses for him"

"It's just" Sarah looked embarrassed. "I still love him, Draco. I do. I tried to stop, but I can't. And what does that say about me? I'm so pathetic. I hate myself"

Draco reached out to run his hand through her shortened hair, stroking it gently. Her vulnerability with him stirred an emotion he had tried to keep buried.

"And you-know-who will probably kill me tonight anyway" Sarah bit her lip. "And I find myself wanting it...wishing for it"

"He asked for you?" Draco's voice was hoarse.

Sarah nodded and he cupped her face. "Run. I'll help you. You've got to run" Sarah could see the panic in his eyes.

She leaned into his hand. "No, it is really for the best. I am pathetic and I don't want this anymore"

"No!" Draco grabbed her face roughly. "How can you say that?"

"I just feel so shattered right now" Sarah replied, shrugging.

"I know that" he told her as he moved his hands to rest behind her neck. He twined them together. "But you see, I love you. And I refuse to let you give up"

Sarah sighed and closed her eyes, drinking in his closeness. When she opened them again, Draco had again moved his hands, but this time to finger her lips.

"I want to kiss you so badly right now" he whispered.

Her heart skipped a beat, maybe two. She couldn't deny, she wanted that too. "You really shouldn't"

"I know" Draco responded. "But will you let me anyway? Just this once?"

She didn't trust herself to speak, but she gave her consent with a nod.

He scooted closer to her, bridging the already small gap between them. His lips met hers as he kissed her softly, before deepening it. He could feel her hesitation. She was so timid in her response.

He moved to kiss her forehead. He leaned his forehead against hers. "If this is not what you want..."

Sarah breathed deeply. "I'm scared that it is very much what I want right now. But if I let myself kiss you back, then it means that all the things that have always made sense to me, don't make sense anymore. It means that this is always what I wanted and I'm not sure that is something I can face right now"

"You over think things, Black" Draco chided as he rubbed his forehead against hers. "You always have"

"That's true" she admitted. "But..."

"Shhh" Draco kissed her again. "Kiss me back. It's only me and you right here. And it will never leave this room. Do what you want, love. Not what you think you should do"

He kissed her more intensely and instead of hesitating this time, she matched it. She moved her hands up and down his back before gripping the bottom of his hair. He snaked his hand under her bottom to push her up on his lap, her legs wrapping around him. He reached underneath her shirt to massage her back. And sitting like that, they kissed as if the past had never happened, as if this was what was meant to be all along. They lived in the moment, holding each other tightly, wanting to erase all the pain that they had both been through. After a few minutes, they finally broke off the kiss.

"I want you now more than ever" Draco whispered in her ear. "But we have to stop at a kiss. It's the only way I can control myself"

"I know" Sarah replied. "We have to stop" she repeated. Still sitting on his lap, she was aware that he did want her and want her very much. It stirred her to make her want to go places she had never gone before, but in her heart, she knew he was right.

"A kiss we can explain away, but more..." Draco squeezed her. "It's too important. You're too important. I want you, but I want you when you are completely free to want me back. Your guilty conscious can be such a nuisance at times" he teased. "And the best friend of the chosen one shagging a death eater while engaged to another would surely conjure that nuisance of a conscious"

She rolled her eyes. "You can joke, Malfoy, but the truth is, you are too much of a gentleman to do anything with me given our circumstances" She paused, before continuing quietly, "I still don't completely know what I want, Draco"

"I know" Draco gently untangled her from him and lifted her up to slide her back to her spot on the couch. "You'll figure it out eventually. You're good like that."

"You think?"

"I do" he smiled tenderly at her.

"You know I might not have a choice" Sarah looked at her hands and frowned at its continued redness. "Snape told me that if you know who wins, he wants me to marry you"

Draco swallowed hard at the thought. "Snape told you that?"

"He thinks that you-know-who wants us to conceive the future generation" she scowled at the thought.

"No" Draco shook his head hard, adamantly. "I don't want you to marry a Death Eater even if it is me...you couldn't live with it and I couldn't live with it either. You deserve better than all of this. And I would never want you to be scared into having sex with me. It should be special"

Sarah shuffled in her chair and stood up to stretch. "You know everyone says that...but I wonder sometimes if it is just an excuse not to. I mean, you and Pansy, Fred and Angelina, but both of you are so careful not to go too far with me. Sometimes, it just makes me feel that I'm not good enough...pretty enough...sexy enough for you to actually want me in that way"

Draco stood and put his arms around her waist. "You must know that it utter rubbish" he said, huskily. "I don't even want to think of Weasley in that context with you, but I know for me...I have wanted to have you since I was fourteen years old. And in the past few years I have thought of you in that way often. And there is nothing I want more at this moment. But the problem is...sex with you is more than teenage hormones for me. And it is not something I would ever want you to look back and regret one day. Does that make sense?"

Sarah wrapped her arms around his neck and rested her head on his shoulder. "I suppose as long as one of those things that I'm just not good enough...kind of like with Snape."

Draco squeezed her. "He really has screwed you up, hasn't he?" When she didn't respond, he continued, "In case you still have any doubt of your overall desirability to teenage boys at least, I will give you this to think about. When we were snogging just then, it took every ounce of my self control not to slide my hand further down your pants...and then around" his eyes sparked mischievously and Sarah's face grew red in response as she pictured the movement.

"You are really cute when you get embarrassed, Black" Draco teased. Her face grew even more red and Draco kissed each cheek and then her forehead. Taking pity on her, he changed the subject.

"But let's not talk about this anymore, or him, or the Dark Lord. We have a while since you have to go back to it. Let me just hold you for a while and try not to think about anything"

"That sounds perfect" They snuggled back on the couch and for the next few hours, they just didn't think about anything of importance...sometimes making small talk. Sarah ended falling asleep, her head against his chest. She slept so peacefully, that Draco just watched her- wishing he could always provide that for her. And fearing what was to come next for her.

Up next: Snape prepares Sarah and she meets with Voldemort.

A/n: So Snape crossed the line with Sarah and Sarah & Draco kissed...crossing the line considering she is engaged. I think I'm ready for the story to get happier again...but Voldemort is just so evil and Snape is trapped. So I guess there has to be more darkness before it gets better. I would love to know what you guys thought of the chapter.