Chapter 25: Perils of a Royal Mind

The Rating for this fanfic officially goes up to M from practically Chapter 20 (and here) onwards. WARNING: This chapter contains Autumn's dark memories of when she suffered child abuse. But, there is a song too to try to make things a little less… unnerving.

The following night, Autumn says goodbye to her newly crowned sister-in-law and niece as she, Ezylryb and her security detail return to the Ga'Hoole Tree. It is clear what Autumn will have to do when she returns, she has to get Boron to travel to Ambala to meet with Merissa. However, with the royals usually always busy and the fact that Allomere might be sent over, which she doesn't want him doing anything and getting involved with a throne that isn't his, nor ever will be.

Since the last night, she really did have too much rest, as she was up partying late and she woke up early. She doesn't really feel tired, but of course, she will have fatigue by later on and will probably sleep like a baby until next time the moon will rise tomorrow night. As for tonight, she has business to deal with.

After coming home and getting things sorted in her hollow, Autumn heads off to Boron's office, which is down the hallway from the Parliament Hollow. She is walking down the hall with some anxiety of what she will say and what the response will be to her message she will be passing on from her sister-in-law. She knows she will have to at least try to convince Boron, if he says no. She then opens the door and enters before seeing that Boron is in the middle of punishing two students, being Principal of the Guardian Training Academy (besides his other priority of being King of the Tree). He mouths 'wait a moment' and Autumn waits by the door.

"You are Senior year students and this is your final year. If you get any more detentions from your chaw classes, I will not hesitate to have you both chaw-chopped with the agreement of the rybs. This means you lose your privilege to attend chaw classes and you will be assigned with more study, and you will not pass this year and will be held back and will be forced to repeat. I expect better from Senior Year students." Boron lectures as the two young boys from Ocean Class in the Senior Year listen and are shocked of the consequences "Now, are you clear on this?"

"Yes, your majesty." The two boys reply

"You may go." Boron then instructs them

The two boys then nod their heads in respect before leaving. Autumn knows those two troublemakers from her Search and Rescue Chaw Class that she teaches and they are rambunctious as hagsmire. She often has to raise her voice at them when they are testing her calm temperament, she has given them detentions and also maybe a flint mop duty or two.

"Heck, Autumn, being principal of the GTA is more intense than ruling the kingdom." Boron quips as Autumn takes a seat in front of his desk

"I hope I wasn't intruding." Autumn says with consideration

"Oh no, it's fine. I wanted to have a word with you, anyway, Princess." Boron nonchalantly replies before he asks "Now what is it you want, Rose?"

"My sister-in-law, Queen Dowager Merissa wants to have an audience with you ahead of trying to restore relations between the kingdoms. She remained worried that you wouldn't accept and she specifically asked that you attend." She explains in absolute

"Well… I guess I could pay Merissa a visit, I still have to send her condolences over her late husband's death and congratulations on becoming Ambala's monarch." He thinks it over as he thinks over when he will be able to travel to Ambala and also to attend the meeting.

"That would mean a lot to her, thank you." She replies with a smile

"Autumn… Is it true?" He then asks

"Come again?" She then asks in confusion "Expand on that, please."

"Have you been working on the annulment?" He then asks as he repeats "Is it true?"

She then sighs "Yes, but am I in trouble?"

"That depends. I hear you have been unfaithful toward the arranged marriage. I also ask if what Allomere is saying is true, all of this drama and also that you have given your virtue to a certain owl." He then replies as he starts interrogating her like a culprit to a crime "You won't be punished because of diplomatic immunity, but I just want to know."

Autumn starts to panic as she doesn't know what to say, the deafening silence hurting her ear slits as she feels like her heart is about to go into arrest.

"Is this about my disobedience or the fact Allomere thinks that I am sleeping with Ezylryb, when I am still a virgin?" Autumn nervously asks

"Yes, and that you have been acting very unlawful as of late." Boron then replies

Autumn takes a deep breath as she rapidly replies "I have been disobedient as he has been trying to take my throne and or pressure me into ruling kingdom I don't want. Also, he thinks of me as a whore as I am with another owl. Well here's the thing; I am only dating, not mating! And the fact I have been stuck in the sham marriage for 10 years has made things worse for me as I feel like a prisoner!"

Boron stares slightly shocked of the mouthful that Autumn had said as the spotted owl gives way to the many a few emotions that lie dormant with her. She starts to cry as she feels like she is unbearable pain, though it technically is true. The guilt returns to Boron, the same guilt he had the night he had allowed for this unlawful forced marriage. He never knew that this guilt would return almost 10 years after that one mistake when it comes to decisions between kingdoms.

Boron then sighs as he places his wing on her shoulder "Princess… I am sorry for letting this all happen. But, when I heard that Merissa wanted to meet with me, I knew that this had something to do with the annulment that you have been working on. I promise to make sure that someday this will all end and that thing will become more… well… not like this."

Autumn then turns her head to the side, looking away from Boron "Thank you… Boron…"

"Why did you choose Lyze, Autumn?" Boron then suddenly asks

The small spotted owl turns her head, her eyes closed "This love that I have with Ezylryb Cress… It started with a kiss. These years since I have been nineteen years old have been the best of my life when I am around him. He has been by my side during all these hardships and… he… he would have fought and died to be my mate…" She then opens her hazel brown eyes, which are looking directly at him, but with tears streaming down her cheeks "In simplicity, Boron, I chose Ezylryb as he is the first ever owl who loves me for who I really am besides Princess of Ambala… The only owl in this damn world who could ever give a sprink about me, who cares enough to die to keep me safe, who would always love me for me."

Slightly moved by her speech, Boron feels some sympathy for this girl. He understands that she had a terrible life and that she is going through somewhat a personal hagsmire. He also can relate to feelings he has for his beloved mate, Barran. After hearing that confession, which would draw tears to any owl listening to her whispery voice of the angels speak and express her innermost feelings, a conclusion comes to mind.

"When I meet with your sister-in-law, we will design a treaty and we will organise the annulment. I will do everything within my willpower, your grace." Boron then announces before a sigh "It's my fault that you have been living like this. If I would have said no… things would have been different."

"It isn't your fault." Autumn replies "If this all didn't happen, I wouldn't be a Guardian and a ryb, I wouldn't have met all my friends and… I wouldn't have met Ezylryb… and… I'd be still living with him."

"You are quite the owl, Princess. You see the good within the bad moments. I bet even in the darkest hours, you could still have the positive outlook." Boron then complements

Autumn then hugs him, by surprise "Thank you…"

He then hugs her back and after a few moments, they let go. Autumn has a cheery smile on her face as Boron has a slightly saddened smirk. They then bath exit the office. Boron mentions that Allomere is on a UKO mission, which means that it is one less thing for her to worry about.

"Your majesty." Autumn says with a curtsey in respect

"Your grace." Boron replies with a bow, returning the same respect shown

They both then go in separate directions, as Boron will be returning to Palace Hollows, all the while Autumn is heading in the different direction back to her hollow. As she then is walking on a branch, she sees a flash of a memory. She shakes it off as she then is flying home.

"The owl I really am…" her mind repeats before hearing a scream and feeling pain in her face

Autumn shakes it off again, but with this time being petered by this. She then sees more flashes from a past she would never want to see again. She then lands and enters her hollow. She remains calm and collected…

She finds a scarf in the middle of the room. She finds it funny as she usually never leaves them lying around. She walks over and picks up the scarf… except that it is covered in blotches of blood. She drops it suddenly as it dissolves into a pool of blood. A loud shriek emits from the princess upon looking in the mirror….

"He used to beat me…" her mind says, like in the same tone as she told Ezylryb that night she confessed her secret…

"No… no… They're gone. The wounds are gone!" Autumn shrieks "Aaron is dead!"

Looking in the mirror, she sees the swollen purple marks on her body. Bruises from being beaten by her brother with a stick or some other weapon, scratches from his claw on her body and blood coming from her beak. She starts to back away, but her eyes are transfixed on the sight of her wounds in her reflection.

"You are useless… weak… small… pathetic!" a voice says in her head, sounding like someone she knows "Mama and Papa are ashamed of you!"

"No I am not!" Autumn screams in anger

Before long, she feels blows to her body. The pain from being hit over and over taking toll as she cries and begs for the beating to stop. She closes her eyes and opens them again and she takes a look at herself… she is small… she is…

Six Years Old!

She then sees the towering figure of her elder brother, who has now died, towering over her. Her body has somehow become the form of an owlet and her brother is standing over her with a stick. She then sees on the floor splatters of blood coming from her beak.

"Aaron?" Autumn weakly says

She then feels more blows, as she is beaten by a stick. The wood hitting her small body over and over causing severe pain. Tears fall from her eyes as she cannot withstand the pain. She begs for him to stop beating her, she begs that he stop. She wails tears of pain as she continues to beg and feel the severe pain.

"Please… Stop…" Autumn weakly cries "Please…"

Everything then goes back…

"Autumn! Autumn, honey, can you hear me? Are you alright? Answer me, please!" a familiar voice yells

She opens her eyes and sits up emits a loud scream. She hyperventilates as she looks at the image of herself in the mirror, she looks normal, no scars, bruises or signs of bleeding. She continues like this before realising she is in her room, but she feels slightly lightheaded as she falls back to be supported by an owl.

"What happened?" Autumn asks as she continues to hyperventilate

"You fainted. I was coming by to see how you were, my rose, when I saw you drop to the ground." Ezylryb replies as he holds her close to his chest "Are you alright?"

"I saw the scars…" Autumn cries as she panics before tears start to fall "Those purple scars… I saw blood… I saw scratches… the beating felt so real… He was beating me…"

Ezylryb continues to hold her close as she cries tears of pain as he soothes "It's alright, I'm here… It's all over, my darling… I'm here… No one will harm you, not while I'm breathing that is."

Autumn continues to cry and he continues to soothe her… But, she shows no signs of letting up, but he knows one thing she always finds comforting… If he sings her a song…

(Perfect song for this moment and imagine it being sung: Safe and Sound by Taylor Swift and The Civil Wars.)

"I remember tears streaming down your face when I said I'll never let you go.
When all those shadows almost killed your light.
I remember you said 'Don't leave me here alone'.
But all that's dead and gone and passed tonight.

Just close your eyes, the sun is going down.
You'll be alright, no one can hurt you now.
Come morning light.
You and I'll be safe, and, sound.

Saw you did look out your window.
Darling everything's on fire.
The war outside our door keeps raging on.
Hold on to this lullaby.
Even when music's gone.
Gone.

Just close your eyes, the sun is going down.
You'll be alright, no one can hurt you now.
Come morning light.
You and I'll be safe, and, sound.

Just close your eyes.
You'll be alright.
Come morning light…
You and I'll be safe, and, sound."

Autumn had stopped crying as she looks up. He continues to hold her close, as she has tears still flowing form her eyes, but she has stopped crying like an owlet when they awake from their sleep during the day.

"I've never seen this much trauma induced stress on you before…" Ezylryb says

"I saw… I saw…" Autumn barely makes out while still shaken

Ezylryb lifts her from under her shoulders and carries her over to her bed. He sits her down on the bed as he wipes away her tears.

"Dearest… I know how shaken you are, but I can guess you have flight lag (Just an Owl version of Jet lag) and you barely slept before leaving Ambala. Now, I'd want you go get some rest as what I've just seen is more than just a survivor guilt." Ezylryb calmly says as he takes her cape off and also her crown

Autumn, still shaken, is motionless, thoughtless and is paler than norm and shivering "I saw… Aaron… He beat me…"

Ezylryb holds her wings "he's dead now… He can't hurt you anymore and never will. You just saw a nightdream-vision-whatchamacallit … anyway, it wasn't real, even if it was when it used to happen. You have no marks on you, no blood and no purple bruises."

"I saw…" She whispers as she lies down, still shaken "Will you stay…?"

"Of course. I'll stay." He replies as he caresses the side of her face "I'll stay…"