iWill Survive

A/N: So I'd like to thank you all for that influx of reviews on chapter 24. I hate having to threaten you guys, but I hate even more getting feedback from no one but Joanna, who I talk to on a daily basis... If you guys keep reviewing I won't have to threaten you XD

And for a certain anonymous reviewer, I'd like to let you know that your special little words don't hurt me. And I never said I wanted nothing but praise. I wanted to know what people thought. If they liked it, good. If they didn't, I'm curious to know just what bothered them. It's called feedback, not syrupy goo that's pure sugarcoating.

Anyway, I hope none of you are big fans of Valerie. She's quite a bitch in this chapter *evil laugh*

Disclaimer: There is no D in any of my names...

Chapter 25: Baby Clothes and Bitches

(Fweddie's POV)

"I can't believe you two dragged me to the mall. I'm not your gay best friend, you know."

Sam crossed her arms, "Fine. Don't care if your daughter has something to wear when she's born. We can just bring her home from the hospital naked."

"Guys, would it kill you to get along for one afternoon?" Carly rolled her eyes.

We sighed simultaneously, "Fine." Sam glared at me, but appeared to decide against slapping my face.

We walked into one of the enormous department stores and headed towards the section with all of the baby clothing.

"Aww, look at this! Everything is so tiny and adorable!" Carly squealed when she looked at just about two outfits.

Sam groaned, "Goodness, Carly, they're just clothes!"

I laughed, "Come on, Sam, lighten up a bit."

She rolled her eyes, "Whatever."

Carly suddenly popped up in front of us, holding up a bright yellow dress and smiling, "Isn't it cute?"

Sam laughed lightly, "Carly, I swear, you're more excited about this than we are, and it's not even your kid."

Carly bounced a little on her toes, laughing in response, "You should be excited, too! Dru's gonna be adorable!"

"Yeah, it's all gonna be one big fairytale..." Sam laughed nervously, turning away from Carly so that she couldn't see her expression.

I squeezed her hand lightly, whispering so that Carly wouldn't hear, "It's gonna be alright." Sam only nodded lightly.

After a while, Sam had finally gotten a little bit excited, and had found a few outfits, most of them originally discovered by Carly, which we had purchased before leaving the store.

We (or Sam) then decided that we would take a break from shopping and get lunch at the food court. Sam commanded me to save a table while she and Carly went to buy food, and I decided against arguing.

Not quite a minute after they had walked away, I heard someone behind me call my name. I turned around to see none other than the skunk bag that I had broken up with eleven years ago.

She didn't look much different now than she had then. She was still wearing a nauseating amount of pink, and that evil glow hadn't left her eyes.

She made her way to the table I was sitting at, and when she was within speaking distance, she flashed a smile, "Freddie, I haven't seen you in so long!"

I gave a forced grin, "Hey, Valerie..." I was not looking forward to where this conversation would likely lead.

She sat down across from me, leaning her elbows on the table and clasping her hands together, resting her chin on them, and batted her eyelashes, "So, how've you been?"

I sighed irritably, "Fine."

She gave a hopeful grin, "Would there be any chance you'd accept my apology? I really feel bad about what I did. But hey, I was a freshman; it's not like I knew what I was doing..."

Before I could figure out a nice enough way of saying that there was no way in hell I'd forgive her, Carly and Sam came back.

Valerie's smile turned into a scowl, "You still hang out with them?"

Sam scoffed, "We're right here, you know."

Valerie crinkled her nose, "Who knocked you up?"

Sam smirked, "That is none of your business, but I'll tell you this much; he's awesome." I laughed a little at that.

Valerie rolled her eyes, "Right. And he's so awesome he didn't leave you, right?"

Sam laughed, "Oh no. He's not leaving me." I smiled at that, happy that she finally had that straight in her mind.

"Then what are you doing here without him? You three can't possibly be doing something for iCarly; you guys had to have ended that years ago when high school ended." She nodded toward Sam, "That is, if this one graduated..."

"I graduated college, thank you very much."

Valerie looked shocked for a moment, but quickly regained her composure, demeaning Sam again, "Looks like that got you far in life. Good luck getting whatever awesome guy you fucked with to wanna marry you when he realizes what a hassle that baby is." The tone of disgust she had used with the word 'baby' bothered me for some reason. I guess it was probably something to do with the fact that it was my daughter she was referring to with such a tone...

Sam then decided to set her tray of food on the table, deliberately using a little more force than necessary to make a loud sound, then sat down, moving her chair near mine. Carly rolled her eyes at this display before sitting down in a more normal fashion.

"So, Valerie, when are you gonna walk away?" Sam asked, sounding irritated.

Valerie laughed, "Don't be so stupid, Sam! Freddie doesn't mind if I'm here, so I don't have to leave! Isn't that right, Freddie?"

I sighed frustratedly, "I didn't say that."

She flashed a smile, "But you don't have to, 'cause I know you meant it!"

I glanced at Sam only to see a hint of a jealous glint in her eyes, which I had to admit, was a little cute only because it showed she didn't want someone else to have my attention.

Valerie seemed to take no note of this, however, and looked at me, attempting to start a conversation, "So how'd they convince you to come to the mall with them, anyway?"

I shrugged, giving a minimal answer, "I dunno."

Sam cleared her throat loudly in annoyance.

Valerie rolled her eyes in an aggravated manner, "Do you have some kind of problem, slut?"

I got angry then, raising my voice, "Don't talk to her like that!"

"What, you're afraid she's gonna hurt you if you don't defend her? Hey, I don't blame you; she can be pretty aggressive..."

Carly sighed, covering her face with her hands, "I don't like where this is going..."

"Guys, I can take care of myself..." Sam's face was growing red.

"Sure you can. That's how you ended up like that."

"Would you quit saying stuff like that to her? What did she ever do to you?" my blood was boiling as I stared her down.

Valerie rolled her eyes as if the answer should have been obvious, "She ratted me out."

"Eleven fucking years ago! And she had every right to!"

Sam buried her face in her hands, "Freddie, please don't make a big deal out of this..."

Valerie's jaw was dropped ever so slightly as she exclaimed, "Why would she have a right to? It's not like she hasn't manipulated people before!"

"She never forces me to betray my friends."

Valerie scrunched her eyebrows together, asking, "Are you suggesting what I think you are?"

Sam laughed a little, "Valerie, I'd like you to meet that 'awesome guy I fucked with.'"

Valerie's jaw was on the ground, "You're kidding me."

Sam put her elbows on the table, purposely placing her left hand within Valerie's view as she twisted her wedding band around her finger in a gloating fashion, snickering, "'Fraid not."

Valerie looked at me and gasped, "What? I thought you loved me!"

Sam laughed, "Oh fuck no, sweetie."

Valerie whined, "But I was your first girlfriend!"

I rolled my eyes, "I never loved you. I was thirteen. You were the one who insisted on the relationship anyway."

Her hands went to her hips, "I can't believe you! I thought you loved me!"

Sam groaned, "Aw, shut it, Valerie."

I slipped my arm around Sam's shoulders, smiling, "Sam here is the only girl I've ever loved." I looked to Carly, "And you know I love you like a sister, but that's a bit different." Carly smiled as she nodded lightly in response.

Valerie kept up her tantrum, "How can you not love me?"

Sam rolled her eyes, "Put a sock in it, bitch."

Valerie's jaw dropped, "Why do you let her say stuff like that to me?"

I shrugged, "For starters, it's true. And you called her a slut, so I don't see why she shouldn't be allowed to trash you."

Valerie's argument was extremely pathetic, "How dare you say that! You're supposed to love me!"

"Haven't I told you enough times? I never loved you, nor will I ever. I've got the love of my life right here." Upon finishing my last sentence, I planted a soft kiss on the corner of Sam's sly smile.

Valerie stood quickly before stomping off angrily.

Sam snickered, "Bitch fit..."

Carly rolled her eyes, "I'm kinda glad that didn't get any worse than it did."

I laughed lightly, "Oh, for sure. I don't even know why she thought I'd care about her. She just came over here and started flirting with me, and it was totally ridiculous."

Sam pecked my cheek before smirking, "No one gets to flirt with my Freddie but me."

I laughed as I ruffled her hair, "Don't worry, Princess; I'm not gonna go falling in love with someone else. I love you."

Carly rolled her eyes, "You two are completely adorable, but we're in public. It'd be awesome if you could keep the lovey-doveyness to a minimum."

Sam simply stuck her tongue out in response. She then picked up a French fry from her no longer forgotten tray of food and popped it in her mouth, then frowned, "Damn it... These fries got cold while that bitch was running her mouth..."

Carly sighed, "Sam, just 'cause you're jealous doesn't mean you have to be so mean to her..."

Sam's face burned crimson as she mumbled, "I'm not jealous..."

I laughed lightly as I playfully poked her arm, "Sure you aren't."

She crossed her arms over her chest, "Really, I'm not!"

Carly giggled, "It's cute that you're in denial."

Sam threw her hands to her shoulders in protest, "I'm not in denial! And I don't do cute, either!"

I snickered and rubbed my nose against hers, "But you are cute. Extremely so, to be exact."

Before I moved my face away from hers, I could feel the heat radiating from hers in embarrassment.

Carly rolled her eyes, "You two are never gonna leave the honeymoon phase..."

Sam glared at her slightly, "What do you mean by that, exactly?"

Carly shrugged, "You both do stupid, cute stuff for each other. And you get jealous over the silliest things."

Sam crossed her arms again, complaining, "How many times do I have to tell you? I'm not jealous of some bitch who clearly stands no chance against me!"

Carly snickered, "You're insulting her again. That's a sign of insecurity."

Sam groaned and rested her face in the palms of her hands, "Whatever. I'm tired and I have a headache."

Carly rolled her eyes, "Sam, quit trying to avoid the conversation."

I sighed, "Carly, I think she's serious..." I turned to Sam, "You okay?"

She shook her head lightly, "Not really. And my feet hurt; Dru's heavy..."

I gently grabbed her hand and circled my thumb on her palm for a while before asking, "You wanna to home?"

She nodded lightly, and I decided it'd be best to comply to her wishes.

Later on at home, Sam had sprawled herself out across the entire length of the couch, while I was at the kitchen table, attempting to debug my laptop that had gotten a virus thanks to a spam email that I had opened by mistake.

Sam decided to interrupt this by calling to me, "Freddie! Come in here!"

I rolled my eyes but got up all the same. My computer had been annoying me, anyway.

When I walked up to Sam, she pointed at the end of the couch by her feet, expecting me to sit, and I chose not to argue.

Once I was sitting, she held her foot up, commanding, "Massage it."

I rolled my eyes, "And can you tell me just why I should?"

She crossed her arms, "My feet hurt. They hurt because I've been walking around all day and carrying a child that isn't exactly the same weight as a feather. You impregnated me with said child. Therefore, it's your fault my feet hurt. Now you have to fix that."

I sighed heavily, "Sam-"

She cut me off, giving a puppy dog pout, "Fweddie! My feet huwt!"

"Fine," I sighed, complying to Sam's ridiculous request.

It's amazing, the things you do for the people you love...

A/N: Hehe, you know what today is! That's right; Freddie's birthday! Actually, in this story, it's the day he moves into 3-H XD But guess what! That means it's my birthday, too! :D So if you click that little button down there you can leave me a little present ;D (Okay, I wrote that last Saturday and never got the chance to post it until now. But hey, it can be a belated birthday present… ;P)