AN: This took my waay longer than it should've! But anyway, its finally here! Repetitive but THANK YOU FOR REVIEWING, READING, FAVOURITING, and alll that jazz. you're amazing :) oh and, JIEFGWUIERGIWB = that was my reaction to the kiss in the last episode. I may have died, I don't really know. ANYWAY, ENJOY! let me know what you think ;D xxxxxxx

25

Is there clarity in this insanity? What's she want from me? Roads in front of me, taking me astray. Are you leaving me? Or are you leading the way? Can you hear what I'm saying? I need to know. - Kris Allen.

Damon rolled onto his stomach beneath the sheets while on the verge of consciousness then did a final tumble into complete awareness as the palm of his hand reached out to find the other side of the bed empty. It was solely out of habit, and unlike before, a part of him was glad he found nothing. Otherwise, things would've no doubt gotten a lot tenser. The simplest touch of her set him off, and that was something he needed to avoid for the time being. He needed his head on straight.

Though it could be argued that things couldn't possibly get any tenser between two people who had in the past slept together countless times sharing a bed again, but he wasn't going to push it any further than that. Sharing a bed was dangerous enough territory for them, and he had decided against it, even in a drunken stupor, but Elena had insisted he couldn't sleep on the sofa, and that it was 'nothing they hadn't done before.' It was true, and it didn't take much persuading. He was drunk, so was she. What harm could it do? And surprisingly, he had fallen to sleep quite quickly. If he'd been sober, there was no possible way he would've gotten to sleep so easily, his body, his everything, would've been kicked into overdrive with her next to him, in the same bed, wearing his shirt as a nightdress. He vaguely remembered being envious that his own shirt got to hang on her body, while he, himself, had been forbidden by his own mind to touch her at all.

Damon sat up and groaned out loud at the painful discovery of his hangover. Last night, he had planned on waking up with a painful thump in his head that would've been worth it if he'd succeeded in getting Elena's plan from her. It was safe to say, he had impulsively jumped on board of a plan that inevitably wouldn't go his way.

Running the night through his mind, he found some parts were hazy, and others were not. The luscious smell of her hair as it created a curtain of chocolate over her own pillow and a small amount of his was as fresh in his mind as if it was a few seconds ago. Even drunk, he took in every detail of her. How sad was that?

He also remembered settling on the theory that what she was hiding had something to do with protecting him from Frank. He almost scoffed at the thought. He didn't need protecting, especially from Frank. He could handle himself; something he made sure of for both him and Stefan when they were growing up. And if that ever failed, he had a Glock G21 hidden in his bedside table that was just dying to take Frank down a peg or two.

Damon ran a hand through his messy dark hair and swung his legs over the side of the bed, setting his feet firmly on the floor before rising from the mattress. He wondered how difficult the day ahead would be since it had to be spent at the office for nine hours straight, and on a floor beneath a sworn enemy. He wouldn't even have Stefan there to aid in soothing the pain in his head. He could always count on Stefan to take his mind off things; usually through shared banter. A wave of loss ran through Damon at the thought of it. He missed Stefan. Even the phone calls every couple of days weren't the same as him actually being here. Though Damon still managed to relish in the annoyance that stirred in his younger brother's voice when he teased him, it wasn't the same as experiencing it firsthand. He had Stefan think he never took his advice, but the truth was, he relied on it, he relied on Stefan and he couldn't help but feel things would be easier if he had him here for support.

Heavy padding of his feet took him across the apartment, and as he closed in on the bathroom, he caught sound of the quiet spray of the shower. That's where she was.

He awkwardly took a step back from the closed door, images of Elena's naked body glistening with water flashing through his mind. Maybe he hadn't thought through her living here with him either. They'd be living in each other's hair, sharing personal space. How long could he restrain the animal within that wanted to pounce on her? Not very long, doubt told him.

It wasn't much time until the water turned off and her soft exit from the walk-in shower could be heard on the other side of the door, causing Damon to fall into an anxious state as he awaiting her appearance.

The door opened and Elena stepped out, clutching one of his white towels around her small frame, the wet shine evident on her bared shoulders and neck. Her head finally lifted and she looked surprised to see him.

"You're up." Her grasp on the towel tightened and her gaze travelled down his half-naked form in a ravenous manner. A smirk couldn't resist falling upon his lips. It's not like he purposely hadn't worn a shirt, it was just he hadn't worn one to bed for years and when he tried; it annoyed him and made him hot under the sheets. And under last night's circumstances, he needed to be as cool as possible.

Once she realised his smirk and the awareness that she was indeed, checking him out, she shifted uncomfortably and blushed. She was adorable.

While her gaze averted, it gave him time to do his own exploring. Something he probably shouldn't be doing. But it was apparent that he couldn't resist. If he couldn't have her, then the least he could do was look. Beginning at the wet mass of darkened chocolate hair, then wandering down to her neck where the dark purple bruises Frank caused currently resided, along one prominent collarbone and finished off at her shoulder. How was it possible to love every single part of a person? She was still as sexy and beautiful as ever, and she still forced a shock of arousal through him.

Their eyes met again, and it was a few long, torturous moments before he forced through the tension that begged to be cut through, or on the other hand, relieved. Settling on the safest choice, which didn't have the possibility of his heart being torn in two once again, he decided to cut.

"I'll shower while you get dressed." He told her. "There are clothes in your bag." He turned and gestured towards the bag placed on the leather sofa before slipping around her, his eyes finding her bare skin again as he did so, while common sense forced his arm to rapidly shut the door.

He stepped onto the ceramic floor of the shower, where only minutes ago, Elena had been, and found solace under the hot spray of the water.

Of course, he hadn't thought this would be a breeze, it was obvious them sharing an apartment when they were completely off-limits to one another was going to put a strain on his sanity. But he hadn't even imagined it would be this hard. In more ways than one. How was he going to survive this?

Something inside him was begging that he relief the raging need he had to have her again, to possess her entirely, to pull screams and breathless pants from her pouted lips and desperate calls of his name the way he could every single time before.

He shook the images from his mind, desperate not to be reminded of how hot the sex was between them, but obviously his dick had already caught on because he felt himself harden. He couldn't do that while she was on the other side of the door could he? No, definitely not.

He fought the urge to take hold of himself, and instead tilted his head back to allow his hair to become entirely wet before he picked up the bottle of shampoo and squeezed a small amount into the palm of his hand.

As he rubbed it into his scalp, his mind wandered back to the image of Elena. Except this time, it focused on the self-created illustration of her naked body, stood in this very spot, her skin slippery and glistening with water, her nipples hard from the heat. It was enough to create a soft, quiet moan from him. His erection was throbbing now, and the desperation to have her pinned against the shower wall as he thrust in and out of her, dragging moans and cries from her that only existed in his memory stirred a frustration that gave him no choice but to take a strong hold of his painfully hard penis. Shutting his eyes tight, Damon moved his hand up and down the length, all thoughts of Elena clouding his senses.

His pumps suddenly becoming desperate when he more than willingly stumbled on the memory of how perfect and tight she was, how he seemed to fit perfectly within her. Something that paired with the way he was touching himself, instantly triggered a breathy moan that he would've been worried Elena might hear if he wasn't so lost in his slow approach to personal ecstasy.

He felt a ghost of a kiss placed against his shoulder blade that was much too soft to be real. A kiss from a pair of lips he would recognize the feel of anywhere, a pair of lips his imagination had conjured up, even though the real pair were only a door away. He would only have to call out for her, tempt her inside the shower with him where he could ravage her; make her forget her own name. That was what she wanted wasn't it? She'd made it clear that's what she wanted. She even asked for confirmation of his attraction for her last night. Then why didn't he just do it? Take what he needed, what he desperately wanted?

Because he was scared.

Even with his stray from the path, he continued pumping away until his toes curled and his body tensed, bringing about a gasp as he spilled onto the shower floor and watched as it washed down the drain with the water.

Now he only hoped that would ease the tension, at least until he left for work. Which suddenly, he wasn't dreading. Maybe because drowning in Elena for the whole day sounded much less appealing and much more of a struggle. If this was the only way he could endure being around her then he would need to take regular trips to the shower a handful of times a day, along with a drink or two. At least on the weekends.

Once he was sure the shampoo was rinsed from his hair, he turned to hot water knob to off and stepped out of the shower. Wrapping a white towel around his hips, Damon took a deep breath and ran a hand through his soaked midnight hair in preparation for the contact with the other side of the bathroom door.

To his surprise, Elena was fully changed into a pair of black leggings, black boots that came to slightly above the ankle and a long white vest. Though her body had made a complete transformation, her hair still held a dampness as it fell down past her shoulders. Her eyes weren't on him; they were trained on the necklace her fingers fiddled with uncomfortably.

However, it didn't take longer than a split second for her to become aware of his re-appearance into the room because her eyes finally lifted to meet his, not without briefly eyeing his still bare torso beforehand. "There's something you should know."

Damon waited for a continuance, and she swiftly provided it.

"I'm giving this to Katherine." She revealed with finality.

Unable to make a response, silence took hold of the apartment as Damon attempted to process what she'd just told him, along with an uncertainty as to whether he'd actually heard her correctly. She was giving the necklace to Katherine? Yesterday morning they'd been set on doing the exact opposite.

"You- you're what?" he asked in disbelief while approaching her.

"We need her."

"We need her to what exactly?" he demanded. "Be a conniving bitch, to double cross us?"

"Without her, we don't stand a chance, and you know it." She told him strongly.

"No, I don't know it." His exclamation consisted of both desperation and defiance. When had she jumped onboard the 'we love Katherine' parade? Elena had expressed an utter dislike of Katherine since day one, so then why now was she willing to cooperate with the she-devil herself?

He knew Katherine, a lot better than Elena did. And one thing was for sure; she couldn't be trusted.

"Damon-

"There are a hundred better ways we can deal with this, and none of them include Katherine." He said her name like it was a bad taste in his mouth and watched as Elena took a step towards him, the closeness causing the air to thicken.

Elena held up the necklace. "This gets her on our side."

Damon shook his head and forced a bitter chuckle while tightening his grip on the towel that covered his lower-half. "I don't have time for this. Whatever this is."

She watched him with narrowed eyes as he rounded her, pulled open his wardrobe and grabbed out a suit.

"Why? Where are you going?" the small shake in her voice told him she was scared and it sparked his curiosity. What was she scared of exactly? Being alone? Or was it more than that?

The problem was she wouldn't tell him, anything, for that matter. She wouldn't confide in him what she had planned, or why she had decided to give the necklace to Katherine. From what he could tell, she wasn't lying about them needing Katherine, but she was hiding something. And he didn't like it.

And he couldn't make her realise something she should already know; Katherine could not be trusted.

Damon held up the suit before disappearing back into the bathroom where he could slip into his pants without worrying about her seeing him fully exposed. Once secured within them, he stepped back out and grabbed his white shirt from the bed. "Work."

"But..."

"But what? You want me to stay here so we can fight some more over how you're making a huge mistake in trusting Katherine?"

"I didn't say I trusted her." Elena objected.

"Right, you just think we need her."

A defeated sigh came from her and she placed the necklace down on the bed then took a seat next to it. "Can't you just trust me?"

"I don't know, can I?" he spat out without thought.

Hurt flashed across her features, and guilt consumed him. He was making an accusation he had no right to. It wasn't her that kept him from trusting her again, it was entirely himself. He was stuck behind his own fear, and had no idea on how to get past it.

Her head went down and he blew out harshly.

"I didn't mean that." Damon picked up the necklace and sat in its place, the outside of their legs touching as he did.

"No, it's fine." She assured in a small voice then rose from the bed as if being physically close to him pained her. "I get it. You don't trust me. It's what I had coming, right?"

She was purposely laying down distance between them and he could practically see her walls going back up, shielding her from him. He wanted to kick himself. He wasn't supposed to be the one hurting her. And he surely wasn't supposed to be the one making her cower away behind a wall she made herself.

How could he go to work now? He was obligated to fix this, to tear down the walls again. The worst thing was she believed she deserved this; being hurt by him, she welcomed it. And that reason itself pushed him onto the decision that he wasn't going to work today.

"Elena," he stood and drew towards her with the necklace still in his palm. She tried to take a step away but he stopped her by taking her hand in his, turning the palm upwards and placing the necklace into it. Tingles shot through him due to the contact, along with the way her eyes burned with an intensity that was as hard to control as a fire was, and he had no doubt in his mind that she was experiencing it too. "If this is what you want to do, then you should do it." His voice was soft, and her expression seemed to melt in response.

He began to pull his hand back when she placed her free one on top, effectively stopping him. "I need you on my side too, Damon."

"I am on your side."

"Then come with me." Her hands were enveloping his in a warmth so intimate he wanted to crawl inside it. "I need you with me."

Damon swallowed down the effect those words had on him, realizing it was something he hadn't heard pass her lips for longer than he liked. The first time she'd ever said it to him was the night he discovered the bruise on her face. She'd said it with such passion and vulnerability; that even now it made him warm inside. This one may not hold the same desperation, but it had the same openness that proved her walls were back down, and it forced him into giving her what she wanted. He needed to trust her, and maybe this was a step in that direction.

Elena walked through the entrance of Lloyds, scanning for the woman who held a striking resemblance to herself. When she finally caught sight of her, she turned to Damon at her side before setting off in that direction. With her hand secured around the necklace that hid in her jacket pocket, she stopped at Katherine's side, mirroring her casual lean against the bar.

"Katherine." Elena greeted her coolly.

"I see you brought your trusty bodyguard." Katherine returned, without tearing her gaze from Matt as he moved between customers.

"That's not the only thing I brought." Elena revealed the necklace as discreetly as possible, catching Katherine's attention along with a lighting of her face. Just like every person who had set sights on it before, Katherine was hooked. Her lips tugged into a smile then a small moan of approval left them.

"It's just as I remembered."

Elena frowned and looked to Damon who was stood the other side of Katherine, wearing the same confused expression across his beautiful features. He was truly magnificent. It was something she was reminded of every time she saw him. He was without a doubt, something to be thankful for. Unfortunately, he wasn't hers. Not anymore. But that was something she was hoping to change.

"What do you mean 'just as you remembered'?" Damon asked, placing an elbow on the bar's wooden surface, successfully grabbing Katherine's focus from the deep blue diamond.

"It was mine." Katherine explained with softness to her voice Elena had never witnessed. It actually meant something to Katherine. The way she looked at it, spoke about it. It belonged to her. It never had belonged to Elena, because she hadn't claimed it as her own. She hadn't wanted it from the moment Frank gave it to her. Now it played a key role in her plan. While it had once been her anchor, now, it was part of her way out.

"Frank gave this to you first." Elena said.

"It was for my birthday." Katherine's gaze was back on the necklace and her long fingers drew careful patterns along each of the diamonds surrounding the heart. "He just showed up with it, first thing in the morning."

Elena marked the soft smile and the light in her almost black eyes, her mind making a startling discovery. "You were in love."

"At one time, I guess we were, or I just was." Katherine said. "Or maybe that's just what he had me think, I don't know. Then he changed. He... became cruel, possessive."

"He became who he really is." Elena countered, and then looked to Damon, who had also made the connection. Turns out, she actually did have things in common with Katherine; the biggest being Frank, and the way he had treated them both.

"He wouldn't let me go anywhere, talk to anyone he didn't approve of. And if I stepped out of line..."

"He'd hit you." Elena finished off.

She noticed Katherine's voice didn't yield the same hurt, or anxiety that could be heard in her own. Maybe because her distress was much fresher than Katherine's, or maybe it was that Katherine was stronger. Either way, she wished for whatever kept Katherine unfazed by what Frank had put her through.

"At first it was just slaps, and then it turned into punches that made my cheek feel like it was going to explode." Katherine picked up the drink she hadn't touched since they arrive and knocked it back without hesitating. "But, you already know all this, don't you?" she looked at Elena. Then as if reading her earlier thoughts, added; "Guess we have a lot more in common than you thought."

"So, that's it then?" Damon looked between the two of them with raised eyebrows. "We let you walk out of here with that necklace, trusting you're not actually playing us right now?"

"She's not playing us, Damon." Elena cut in.

"And what makes you so sure?" he returned.

"She wants to be free of him as much as I do." Elena answered with her eyes on Katherine. "Don't you?"

Katherine looked at her sideways then silently motioned for another drink from Matt. Elena didn't need confirmation. She knew that was why Katherine was offering her help, why she was choosing to be on Elena's side rather than Frank's. She wanted out, and just like the necklace; Elena played a vital part in helping her succeed with that. That's what worried Elena the most; so much of this was relying on her. If she messed up, all of this was a waste. If Frank even caught a sniff of Katherine's betrayal, of their scheming, it was over. They wouldn't get another chance like this. And that's why she needed to get stronger. She needed to be ready.

Katherine stayed silent, shooting a wink to Matt as he provided a fresh drink of what Elena could only assume by the smell of it was whiskey then watched as he returned to his duties at the other end of the bar, Katherine's eyes still glued to him. "I could just swim in those eyes."

Elena peered over her shoulder at Matt, smiling to herself for a brief moment before turning back to Katherine and climbing onto the empty bar stool next to her.

"How old were you, when you met Frank?" Elena queried.

Katherine took a moment then began. "I was...19. I was in a pretty dark place back then. I'd been suffering with an eating disorder since I was 16 and it led to depression, or that's what the doctors told me. I was completely numb, and so messed up. I had pushed away everyone I loved; I shut myself off completely, so they put me on anti-depressants." Katherine's eyes remained hidden from Elena's view as she eyed the drink in her hand, but if she could see them at this very moment, Elena knew by the sadness in the other brunette's voice, they would show the kind of emotion she had never let show. Not to Elena, and probably not to Damon. "They warn you that taking them can make you feel so much worse than you did before. And it was right. I started cutting myself when I would get into one of the regular arguments I had with my parents. In a way, it was like punishment, for being so weak, for being so helpless. Feeling helpless... it's one of the worst things you can ever feel. I didn't know how to keep on going, or if I even wanted to. Then I met Frank."

Damon and Elena shared a knowing look that was triggered from a simultaneous realization that Frank had magically appeared into both Elena and Katherine's lives at a point where they were entirely open to manipulation due to their vulnerability. But they kept quiet, and allowed Katherine to continue with her story.

"He was charming, and kind. He made me feel special, like I was actually worth something. And I needed that. I needed to feel like I was something, or anything, to someone. And I needed an escape. So when he offered me one, I took it, without hesitating." Katherine finished off her drink then set it back down forcefully. "I left a note for my parents, packed a bag, and... escaped."

"Where did he take you?"

"Here." Katherine answered simply. "He was already living here, starting his business, so he moved me in with him." she paused to once again gesture to Matt for another drink. It amazed Elena how she seemed to so effortlessly catch the attention of anyone she came into contact with, and with a bat of her eyelashes, had them wrapped around her finger from there on out. Elena never had that kind of confidence or ability to control the room the moment she stepped into it. She was the opposite of Katherine, she was introvert, but still held the kind of fire Katherine put on show for the whole world to see. Elena was just more private with hers, and the only person she'd let see it was Damon.

"Well," Katherine blew out a sigh of relief and relaxed against the back of the metal stool. "That's my story over and done with." She swallowed back a large amount of her drink, and allowed the sarcastic and care-free version to re-possess her. "Now can we move on?"

It wasn't a request. Katherine dug into her bag that was settled on the ground next to her heeled boots and returned with a thick tan coloured file that the tossed onto the bar in front of Elena.

"What's this?" Elena asked, eyeing it.

"All the answers you want." Katherine replied casually, jumped down off the bar stool, eliciting a clap of her boots against the floor before gathering her bag and taking her turn to leave. But not before providing the pair with a cryptic; "I'll be in touch," which was swiftly followed by a turn of her head to focus completely on Elena, a knowing expression masking their extreme similar features. "Then it begins." Katherine told her.

Elena felt a shot of fear and it caused her heart to sink into the pit of her stomach. And she hated it. She needed to be strong, prepared for what was to come, but she couldn't feel farther from it.

What if the worst case scenario occurred? What if she couldn't make herself strong enough for this?

There was so much uncertainty surrounding it, and she didn't like it. She was anxious, she was scared, and she was unbelievably worried. She wished this responsibility could be handed over to someone else, but then she was reminded that it couldn't be someone else's problem to overcome. It was hers. She was the only one who could do this. It was her Frank wanted to extract revenge upon. And that's why it had to be her. It couldn't be Katherine, she wished it could be. Because Katherine had the kind of strength she needed to go through with this. And without it, she didn't know if it was possible to succeed in their plan.

Elena was entirely submerged in thought until the softest contact initiated from Damon's hand upon her arm dragged her out of it.

She looked around to find Katherine gone, and a soft concern gracing Damon's face.

"I'm fine, I'm fine." Elena murmured for her own benefit rather than his. She hopped down from the stool and grabbed the file from the bar, silently hoping that no spilled alcohol had seeped its way through whatever was inside, then started off towards the exit with Damon right behind.

They reached the cool of the outside air, and he still didn't press the matter or ask for the reason her forehead held an intense crease, probably knowing it was best to let her mull it over in her head for a while, Elena assumed. Therefore, they walked back to the apartment in silence and only when they made it inside Damon's apartment, had discarded of their jackets and shoes did he speak.

"That was interesting." He said with a mixture of amusement.

Elena lifted her head and looked at him, pushing out a half-hearted chuckle before returning her focus to the file held in between both hands.

"Yeah..." her fingers traced the smooth texture of the file, teasing the edge but never opening it to reveal what was inside. "Somehow, her past justifies the person she is now. When you think about it, she's just protecting herself."

Damon approached her at a slow pace. "You had it just as bad. If not, worse. You haven't turned into that kind of person."

Their eyes met. "Not yet."

"No." He said strongly. "Not ever."

"Maybe that's the problem." She said with a vulnerability that enticed his hand to take place on the side of her face.

"What do you mean?"

Elena shook her head and his hand fell from her cheek. "Is it such a bad thing? Being like her? She's strong. She can get things done. She doesn't let anything get in her way."

"She's strong because she doesn't let herself feel anything." Damon returned. "That's not who you are. You could never be that person, you could never be her, and you shouldn't want to be. You feel everything. I know you do, I see it. Katherine? She doesn't. You want to know something? What we just saw, that was the first time I have ever seen her show any kind of emotion. It's not healthy, it's not right. It shouldn't be a goal for you, it should be something you wish you would never end up like. You should pity her, not be inspired by her."

"But that's what I need to be strong; I need her to make me that."

"Let me make you strong. Tell me what's going on; tell me what you're hiding. I can help you; I can be there for you."

"You can't." she told him. "I wish I could have you in this, but I can't. I'm sorry."

Damon took a few moments then let out an aggravated sigh. "Then I don't know what to do. You ask me to trust you, yet you won't tell me what you're doing."

"Because it's not your problem, it's mine!" Elena cried out. "I got myself into this. I have to get myself out."

"At what cost?"

She bit down on her lip and let her eyes wander to the file still in her hands. Dread and anxiety filled her as the possibilities of how this could go wrong stampeded through her mind. "If everything goes right, there won't be one."

Though it sounded like a simple statement as it left her mouth, inside, she was wishing it to come true. A few days from now, she wanted to be able to turn to him, Damon Salvatore, the first and only love of her life, and smile with certainty that she was free, that they both were. That they'd come out the other end, stronger than ever. But that was something she couldn't be sure of. She didn't know that was how it would be. She didn't know anything right now.

Elena held up the file then dropped it onto the coffee table and followed it down, her knees meeting with the wooden floor. She watched as Damon did the same then with a slow and careful manoeuvre of her slender fingers opened the file.

Her eyes scanned down the first page and she fiercely flicked to the next, then the next, a sharp gasp flying from her mouth that got caught on her fingertips. Damon was around the table and crouched at her side in an instant, taking over with the inspection of the files contents, his eyes widening almost as much as Elena's.

"Oh my..." Elena barely whispered past the lump in her throat. "What the hell is this?" she asked though already knowing the answer.

"The reason it had to be you and Katherine." Damon answered, thumbing through each page until he reached the end. "And God knows how many others."