AN: Taking a moment to thank my new beta reader MosaicCreme. Thank you for your patience and help with my hectic work schedule, and helping me toward becoming a better writer. If anyone is interested, you can find her writings on Fanfiction .net and Archive of our Own.

Chapter 25

"Do you have a kadan?" Shepard asked, breaking the long, comfortable silence. Tracing a stripe over Kolyat's collar bone, she followed the trail over his pectoral, fingertips skimming the tight-knit, feather-soft scales, until they moved down his chest to his stomach and languidly back again. She loved how his warm skin felt beneath her palm, loved the way his body fit perfectly against hers. She admired his markings, the sporadic black speckles and blended hues. She stared at the color, the soft light of the Presidium sunrise casting rays of luminescence, making tiny patches shimmer.

A pleased hum vibrated from Kolyat's throat, his hand circling her waist a little tighter, pulling her closer against himself. Her leg fell over his easily, sliding between his knees while she shifted herself partially over him. Placing her ear on his chest, Shepard enjoyed the sounds of his heartbeat and the unhindered pull of his lungs. He caressed her back, fingertips grazing up and down, a feather weight against her skin. Sighing in content she felt truly at peace in this moment. Kolyat felt so amazing against her, his toned muscles and inner strength, the tranquility in his arms, allowed her a moment of reprieve.

Kolyat remained silent for several heartbeats, his gaze fixed upon the ceiling, far away, as if lost in thought. At first Shepard wasn't sure if he heard her question, until he took a deep breath and purred in confirmation, nodding slowly. His hand came up again, fingers gliding over her shoulder, this time dipping to the back of her neck into the now wild mass of hair, left chaotic from their previous love making.

"Will you tell me his name?" She urged, raising her head to stare down at him, hands sliding over his broad chest to steady herself.

Licking his lips, Kolyat smiled, sadness filled his eyes before he nodded again in acceptance. "His name is Torin."

"Torin?" Shepard echoed, testing the name on her lips, trying to remember if Thane or Kolyat ever mentioned him before. "Is he part of Irikah's family, or a family friend?"

"Torin Krios," Kolyat murmured, his gaze falling on hers just as her body went rigid in surprise.

Shepard hesitated before responding, unprepared for his answer, and by the look on Kolyat's face, he had expected her exact reaction. "I … I didn't know Thane had a sibling,"she admitted. Despite how much Thane had opened up and shared with her, there were still many things they'd never gotten a chance to explore with one another. So much of Thane's life remained unknown to Shepard, and although she regretted the shortness of their time together, she didn't regret how much they had tried to only focus on the present.

"He's six years younger. I think he was born shortly after Father was taken into the Compact. Most likely because those in service to the hanar are not usually allowed to have families, Grandmother had to keep the Krios line going. I'm just surprised she stopped at one more child."

"Why is that surprising?"

Smiling gently, Kolyat shifted his position to look at her better, moving up a little higher on the pillows, his hand fell to the dip of her waist. "We are a very old clan. I was told we trace back to one of the first on Rakhana. I never got a chance to tell you, but I found it ironic that you introduced me to Feron, and now we are friends."

"Why is that ironic?" Shepard asked genuinely perplexed.

Kolyat's expression almost mirrored hers while he searched her gaze for understanding. "Because he's a Ferai," he stated plainly, as if that simple line held all the answers.

"And? Does that mean something? I'm not familiar with drell social standings."

Chuckling softly, Kolyat smiled. "You really don't know who he is?"

"Whoever he is, he's just Feron to me, or Skittles. Whichever I'm in the mood for." Shepard shrugged indifferently, although, she had to admit, Kolyat got her at little interested since he brought up the subject. "I still don't understand why it's ironic."

Blinking both sets of eyelids, Kolyat paused before answering, as if his next words held weight. "The Krios clan is one of the seven households that still remain with close ties to the Rakhanian royal family, Taran's clan is also one, the Amani's. There are also the Sions, Lyalins, Kais, Meroylts and Fah'lans. In case you wanted a drell history lesson." Kolyat grinned through his last sentence.

"The Rakhanian royal family? You mean, Feron?" Shepard's brows shot up. "Feron's part of the drell royal family? What? How?" She shook her head, thrown for a loop while she tried to process this information. "That sly jerk. He never told me. I mean, not that it really mattered to me, but it was information that could have probably… oh, shit." Shepard paused in mid thought, understanding now why the Shadow Broker probably didn't kill him, wondering if the Broker would've used Feron for leverage against the drell eventually. Looking back, it made more sense now, why Thane was quick to ask to accompany her to save Feron as soon as she mentioned his name.

"What is it?" Kolyat asked, pulling her attention back to him.

"I was just wondering if that was one of the reasons the Shadow Broker didn't kill him."

"It could've been, but I didn't even know the Ferais had another son, from my knowledge they only had two, Feiyolt and Feyon. Feron also told me he lost his claim to the throne. Joining the Compact usually severs the connection, unless special circumstances occur."

Shepard waited as Kolyat's gaze drifted back to the ceiling, his hand moving up over her back to dip into her hair, fingers carefully twirling the tendrils in hand before she asked, "Like what?"

"Well, the hanar releasing you from service would be one, another would be …" Kolyat hummed as hidden thoughts filled his expression, realization brightening his eyes in surprise. "You know, I think Feron does have rights to the throne. His brother's passed away, only his sister remains. He is no longer part of the Compact. It's more plausible that he just doesn't want to take the opportunity to petition for his claim, or the responsibility.

Shepard paused, reflecting on what Kolyat revealed to her. She didn't know Feron had siblings, nor that they passed away. She wondered if he was close with them, or if he didn't keep any contact with them at all. "Feron really doesn't like being in the spotlight. He prefers to work in the background, unbothered. He hates unwanted attention, although, he's really good at schmoozing people."

Kolyat smiled, glancing back at her. "Yeah, I've experienced that."

Taking a moment, Shepard let the silence stretch between them, continuing to trace sporadic patterns over his chest before she reached for his hand. Guiding his arm, she turned his palm up to bring his wrist towards her mouth. Kissing the sensitive area, she grinned as Kolyat's breath hitched, his reaction tightened her stomach with pleasure. She enjoyed the way his body always responded to her, every sigh or purr still overwhelmed her senses. Shepard moved his hand across her cheek to run her lips against his palm before speaking again. "Will you tell me more about Torin?"

The sadness entered his eyes again, and it left Shepard wondering what might have happened with Torin, hoping it was nothing too bad. "He … he was the one who named me." Kolyat's voice dropped into somber remembrance.

"That's common, right? You joked about wanting to name Taran and Mira's baby if you became the kadan." Shepard tried to lighten the conversation.

Kolyat snorted, a slow grin forming over his pouty lips, his irises brightened considerably. "I want to name it, Kata."

"That doesn't sound so bad," she replied thoughtfully.

A joyous laugh erupted from Kolyat's chest, a contagious sound of delight, pulling a smile from her as she stared at him in curiosity. "It means 'little nut', the ones you have to watch out for or choke." Kolyat emphasized the last word, chuckling again, grinning broadly.

Shepard tapped his chest playfully in warning. "That's not nice. They're your best friends. You would do that to them?"

"Maybe." He grinned wickedly, eyes sparkling in mirth. "I doubt they'll make me the kadan, anyway. Taran has a brother, and Mira has two. There wouldn't be a need while they have family to turn to," Kolyat added softly, expression easing while he paused to adjust their positions again.

Bringing her hands up, Shepard laid them flat over Kolyat's shoulder and chest, lacing her fingers and resting her chin on them to more comfortably look at him. "Did Torin take care of you? Thane only told me that he placed you in the care of aunts and uncles, but I thought it was Irikah's family." She pressed a little further. It wasn't that she was trying to upset Kolyat, she saw his apprehension, Shepard just wanted to know more about his childhood and about the person who named him. Anything to uncover another inch left unexplored. She wanted to know everything about Kolyat. His hopes and dreams, his past struggles and life. She wanted to ease his pain, as much as he tried to ease hers.

"I did stay with my mother's family for a time, but…."

"But?"

Kolyat took a heavy breath and looked at her in trepidation. "Are you sure you want to talk about this right now?"

"You don't appreciate my choice of pillow talk?" Shepard quirked an eyebrow in challenge as he tilted his head in curiosity.

"Pillow talk?"

"It's supposed to be relaxed, intimate talk between lovers after sex. It usually involves extra cuddling or kissing, sometimes even leading to more love making."

Kolyat chuckled again, his hands sliding back around her, tightening snugly as he pulled her against the hardness of his chest, her breasts the only cushion between them. He brought one of his legs up to cradle her entirely over him. Dipping his head, Kolyat brought his lips to the juncture of her throat. "If you want me to make love to you again, you don't even have to ask."

Shepard bit her lip and hummed in pleasure, tilting her head back to give Kolyat enough room to place the flat of his tongue against her pulse point. Nuzzling his lips against her, he trailed the tip of his tongue over her throat, moving up and following the curve of her jaw until he reached her earlobe, his teeth clamping down gently. The sensation made her shiver as the rumble of a seductive purr vibrated from his throat. Kolyat's hands slipped down her back, brushing the dip of her spine before they rested on her ass, grabbing it firmly, guiding one of her legs up to straddle him further, her heated core brushing against his hardening length.

"Not that I don't appreciate your form of distraction, but I would still like to know what happened," Shepard murmured in determination, and Kolyat slackened his hold, sighing in defeat. She adjusted herself back against his side when he released her, hands once again resting over his chest."So..." She started again, "When did Torin take you? If he's your kadan, it would've been his responsibility to raise you, right?"

"Yeah… at first I stayed with my mother's family, my aunt and uncle, but they didn't know what to do with me. I think part of it was because they were upset my father just left me and disappeared. No one understood why he couldn't take me or reach out to me afterwards." Kolyat leaned his head against the pillow, gaze drifting back to the ceiling, as if trying to find his words. "I didn't understand either. I actually thought he blamed me, and that's why he left."

"Kol-"

He made a sound to quiet her, the hand holding her hip started kneading her skin in comfort. "I was a child, and I was alone. Remember, I also blamed myself for not saving my mother at that time."

"I know, but didn't Irikah's family try to help you?"

"I don't think they knew how. I barely knew them to begin with, and they had children of their own. They didn't know what to say, or how to act around me. They tiptoed over everything they did. My cousins avoided me, and for the most part, I was left alone."

"Are you shitting me? They didn't do anything to try and help you? You were a victim of trauma for fuck's sake!" Shepard raised her voice, feeling the rage boil inside her. He was a child who watched his mother die, and his family treated him as if he was a piece of glass to be kept at a distance. No wonder Kolyat ended up with so many issues to work through.

"Kira … it means a lot to me that this upsets you, but it's in the past. I appreciate your care."

That's because I'm in love with you.

She opened her mouth to say the words but the sentence got stuck behind a boulder of pragmatism. 'Everyone you love will either leave you, or die.'

"Eventually, my grandmother intervened," Kolyat continued. "She didn't want to in the beginning because she wanted to adhere to my father's wishes. She came to visit me often, and every visit, I could see the upset in her eyes as she left. One day, Torin just showed up. I opened my bedroom door, and he was standing in the living room…"

Kolyat's eyes shifted to something far away, pupils expanding while the tone of his voice changed to the low, melancholy sounds of remembrance. "His eyes focus on me, standing up taller before he walks towards me, each step slow and deliberate, filled with certainty. I glance between my aunt's, anger engorges their frills, disgust on their faces. I stare in confusion. 'You have no right to speak to us in such a way. Leave now!' Aunt Neela clenches her fists, waving her hand at Torin rudely. He ignores her and continues towards me. I take a step back in apprehension. He kneels and places a hand on my shoulder, a light weight upon my skin, comforting yet firm.

"He purrs to relax me, eyes soften while he smiles. 'I apologize I could not come sooner, I did not mean to fail you as your kadan. Gather your things, we are leaving.' I look back at Neela who growls in anger. 'He has been nothing but ungrateful. I doubt you will have better luck than we have.' Anger blankets Torin's eyes, green emeralds slipping back into onyx darkness. 'Speaking about him as if he is not even here already indicates half of what my mother told me to be true.' Rising to his feet, Torin turns towards them calmly, hands slipping behind his back, a mannerism father did often. 'I advise you not to open your mouth again until I leave. I assure you, you would not like further action from my clan upon you. Be grateful that I have only come here for Kolyat.'"

"I can't believe your aunt said that," Shepard sighed, chest squeezing in aggravation. "Torin had every right to be angry. He kind of reminds me of Thane, though. I'm sure your aunts got nervous after he said that."

Kolyat blinked rapidly as he came out of the memory, nodding curtly before regret flooded his features. "Aunt Neela was right."

"What do you mean?"

Averting his gaze, Kolyat took a deep breath, she could tell he was having difficulty speaking about this particular moment in his past. Profound moments that had shaped his life. "I acted every part the bastard. I refused to go out. I refused to go to school or make friends. When I was forced to, I was so angry at the world, at my circumstance. I hated the world and everyone in it. Including Torin … for trying as hard as he did to try and help me. I hated myself for being the way I was."

"Torin treated you better though, didn't he?" Shepard asked to give Kolyat a moment of reprieve. His spiraling self-hate still remaining until recently.

Nodding slowly, a haunted smile fell across his lips. "He was patient … and kind … he did his best never to get too upset with me. Although I tested him. Gods know, I tested him." Licking his lips, Kolyat sighed again before continuing, "I was always getting into trouble. Never payed attention in school, my grades dropped considerably. I always got into fights and started following the wrong kind of people. Gang activity, petty theft that eventually led to harsher things. I spent more time in a counselor's office than a classroom, and Torin… he never said anything as people berated him for my actions. Just stood there calmly, sometimes even sticking up for me as he tried to question the cause of my activities,asking if I was being treated unfairly, even though I was in the wrong. He was good at tripping people up as they spoke, good at detecting lies and turning people around."

"Torin sounds … really amazing, actually. He really cared about you. So why were you so desperate to leave Kahje, then?"

Kolyat turned a little against her, his free hand rising to cup her cheek, fingertips caressing her ear, thumb running back and forth over her face gently before he answered. "Right before I left, when I found out who Father was … I also found out why it took Torin so long to come for me."

Shepard turned her face and snuggled into his touch, trying to give him silent support for everything he was revealing to her.

"He had sacrificed his whole life to take care of me. He was living on the Citadel, employed as an ambassador for the hanar of Khaje. He was engaged to a female who the hanar we're trying to form a bond with to the royal family. He left her, and his high paying job … for me … and I was nothing but an ungrateful bother. I caused him nothing but pain."

"Kolyat … I doubt he would have left if he really didn't want to," Shepard said gently, reaching a hand out to touch his cheek, caressing his frills lovingly.

Kolyat sighed into her touch and looked away, his fingers running through her hair gently, a contrast to the harshness in his eyes. "I didn't want to burden him anymore. Torin was only nineteen when he took over the responsibility of caring for me, and I was so thankless. He finally started seeing someone, too. The year that I left, I … I almost got arrested, and it caused a lot of stress on his relationship. I fucked up, and I thought it would be better if I just left in the end … for everyone."

"I doubt he saw it like that."

Frowning, Kolyat nodded almost reluctantly, watching silently as her hair slipped through his fingertips, playing with her long tresses. "I've had some time to think about it. My views changed the longer I was away … you are probably right. I just couldn't see it at the time."

"Probably? I'm always right." Shepard grinned wickedly, getting the response from Kolyat she was hoping for to help ease him.

With a sad chuckle and a slow smile, Kolyat buried his hand back into her hair, cupping his long slim fingers around the back of her head. He stared up at her while her fingertip brushed over the curve of his bottom lip.

"Did you ever get a chance to tell him that?"

Kolyat shook his head, disappointment and pain slowly creeped back upon his features. "No," he admitted sadly. "I haven't seen or spoken to my family since I left Kahje. I don't even think they know I'm alive. Grandmother and Torin are probably so angry with me … or heartbroken."

"Would you want to? Go back I mean. To see them again?" She asked gently, knowing how hard it was for her family when she was away on missions, the shock when she appeared again after they thought she was two years dead. Kolyat's family was still waiting for him, she knew it in her heart to be true.

"I... I wouldn't even know what to say. Where to begin."

Shepard smiled softly and traced her thumb over his lips again. Leaning down she kissed him chastely, a soft caress of her lips over his. Kolyat's hands wrapped around her shoulders, cradling her against him, easily adapting to any movement she made. Another soft kiss, and she pulled back, resting her forehead against his while she breathed in his heady scent. Leaning back she looked into his eyes, willing to do anything to help him feel at peace again, too. Anything to see him smile.

"Think about it, take your time. Sometimes all it takes is a simple 'I'm sorry'. If you're willing, I'll be right there, if you need me."

Kolyat pushed her back gently, urging her up so he could meet her stare. His hands came up to cup her face in his palms, looking deeply into her eyes, as if searching for the truth of her words. He stared at her with weighted meaning, his gaze shifting over hers like he was trying to find his future in her stare and eventually nodded when she thought he found what he was looking for. "When I am ready … I want you to be there."

Kolyat couldn't wipe the grin off his face. The stupid, giddy, joyous, ridiculously childish, grin off his face. Reaching for the knife, he began slicing the vegetables, thin, precise strokes, tiny chunks to sauté into the eggs Shepard had asked him to make for her. Once the vegetables were sliced and added into the egg mixture, he went to the pantry and grabbed a loaf of bread along with some other articles she explained how to prepare, before she disappeared into the bathroom.

Setting the coffee machine, Kolyat turned towards her cabinets searching for jams or any kind of fruit to accompany the bread he sliced. Once he found a jar of marmalade, and checked what it was on his omnitool, Kolyat placed it on the table and went back to his cooking. Kolyat smiled again as he thought about how natural this felt, being with her, cooking her breakfast, while she got ready to start the day, despite the fact that they awoke way before the scheduled sunrise. He ended up using one of his father's pajama pants she still kept, not entirely prepared to spend the night at first. Maybe he should ask to keep some clothes here, just in case?

Frills heating, Kolyat felt shy about bringing up the subject. Perhaps she'd think he was moving too fast. He just recently told her that he loved her, after all. He thought back on what happened a few hours earlier, about what Shepard admitted to him. Kolyat was confident in her feelings, comfortable with waiting for as long as it took for her to return the words of emotion. He wouldn't push her, and he appreciated her support in him, especially when he decided to open up about Torin. That was the first time he ever spoke about his family to another, and her willingness to be with him if – when, he decided to speak to them again, sent his love for her soaring to new heights.

She truly was a guardian angel among mortals.

Finishing the meats and preparing the table, Kolyat turned toward the stove and started cooking the eggs, careful not to burn them just as instructed. Kolyat's omnitool beeped with an incoming call just as he finished. Glancing at the name, he grinned playfully. Turning off the stove, he turned and leaned his back against the counter, opened the channel and accepted the call, Feron appearing on screen.

"I'm starting to think you forgot about me. I only had three messages from you, not nearly enough." Feron smiled wickedly, leaning back in his chair lazily, resting his hands on his stomach. "You just woke up?" He continued, eyeing Kolyat's bare chest.

"No, I've been up for a few hours. I thought the priests only allowed you one call a week?"

"Ah, I could have called you earlier, then. I thought you might still be sleeping, it's only…" Feron glanced at something off screen and then looked back at him. "0800 there."

"If you thought I was still sleeping, why'd you waste your call on me?"

Feron grinned and leaned back in his chair. "To be an asshole, and besides … I know you miss me."

"I wouldn't have picked up, and no, I don't," Kolyat stated, trilling in jest, turning to the side when the coffee machine beeped to signal its completion. Keeping his arm steady, he reached for a mug with his other hand and placed the cup next to the machine, Kolyat's attention averting while he poured the dark liquid. "How's your meditation going?"

"It's long stretches of silence while I battle sleep," Feron responded dismissively, voice dropping into suspicion as Kolyat looked back at him, hearing the curiosity in Feron's voice. "Where are you?" His inner eyelids blinked several times in rapid succession just as he leaned forward toward the screen. His gaze studying Kolyat's background.

"What about your prayer's?" Kolyat asked, pretending not to hear him.

"That's not your apartment," Feron stated.

"Are the priests helping?"

"Seriously?"

"How's the weather?" Kolyat tried to deflect once again.

"It's Kahje, are you kidding me right now?"

Kolyat turned and placed his back against the counter, once more, trying to figure out exactly what to tell Feron. It wasn't as if Shepard and he were going to keep their relationship a secret, but he didn't want to assume that blurting it out would be okay, he knew how private Shepard could be. However, this was Feron; loud, sometimes annoying, vocal, Feron, and he had voiced his assumptions about Sarah and Kolyat getting together. He did feel guilty about keeping what was happening from him, but Kolyat did it because he didn't want the colorful drell to have any unnecessary distraction while he mentally healed. Kolyat also didn't want him to get smug about the whole thing.

"Kolyat … please tell me you're not in a hotel right now…" Feron said seriously, trepidation filling his features.

Sucking his teeth, Kolyat glanced hastily toward the hallway and back before lowering his voice. "You know I don't do that shit anymore, and I would appreciate it if you don't think that of me ever again."

Feron's face remained solemn as he leaned back in his chair again, the light brown sleeves of his robe falling over his hands just as his fingers linked over his stomach. Kolyat licked his lips, fighting the urge to smile. The outfit he wore looked similar to the coverings of Obi Wan Kenobi. Making a mental note, Kolyat decided he would show the movie to Feron if he decided to come back to the Citadel.

"So then, do you mind telling me where you are?"

"I … I'm…." Kolyat let out a loud breath, feeling the other man's heavy stare burn into him.

"Oh, sweet, baby Jesus. I smell fresh coffee." Shepard's voice rang from the hallway, bringing Kolyat's attention to her, just as she stepped from around the corner. Automatically, their eyes met, and a slow, gentle smile tugged at his lips. Towel drying her hair, Shepard walked towards him on bare feet, wearing a baggy, black T-shirt with the words 'Girls just wanna have Guns' written on the front, and a pair of blue jean shorts. "Work?" she asked, just as she approached the counter, eyeing his open omnitool. "Do you need a minute?"

Kolyat shook his head and glanced at Feron on the screen, who had both eye ridges up in surprise. Turning his gaze back on Shepard, he motioned for her to come closer, handing her the mug of coffee he poured. "It's Feron."

He waited for her to make the decision of making their relationship known, and without hesitation she smiled wider and leaned into the screen to stare at the colorful drell before her, a sly grin falling over Feron's mouth, irises brightening in legitimate happiness.

"Hey, Skittles!" Shepard greeted, placing her towel on the counter behind Kolyat, moving against his side.

Kolyat slipped his free hand around her waist naturally, adjusting them so both could see the screen comfortably. The smell of her lavender body wash and shampoo filled his nostrils, the delightful aroma, making him fight the urge to bury his nose in her hair.

"Hey yourself," Feron replied. "This is an interesting turn of events and about damn time, if I'm being honest. You two finally done being idiots?"

"So, you're going to start with the name calling, Prince Skittles?" Shepard grinned coyly, taking a sip of her coffee, her lips lingering on the cup as if trying to hide the smile that was forming.

The smile fell from Feron's lips, a seriousness flashing over his features as he glanced around before his gaze settled on Kolyat. "I see you've been talking about me."

"You might have come up in a conversation or two." Kolyat trilled apologetically.

Feron chuckled and shook his head, heaving a heavy sigh before he relaxed again. "Please tell me Shep accidentally screamed my name during sex. That would've been amazing and entertaining, to say the least."

"Ohhh, you wish." Shepard chuckled.

"That will never happen, trust me," Kolyat replied at the same time.

Feron chuckled again in enjoyment. "I'm happy for you both, truly. I hope you find peace in one another. You both deserve it."

Kolyat smiled and purred in thanks just as Shepard softly voiced hers. Turning slightly, he kissed the top of Shepard's head, truly feeling content with their relationship and the support they were receiving.

Humming into her cup while she took another sip, she turned her face up towards him. "Do you mind putting him on the screen in the living room? Unless…" Shepard paused eyeing Feron again. "This was supposed to be a private call?"

"Not at all. I just wanted to check on Kolyat. I'm glad you're there too," Feron responded, waiting as Kolyat pulled his hand from around Shepard and made the request on his omnitool.

Walking over to the other room, Kolyat told Shepard to go on ahead just as he heard Feron ask about the new furniture in her apartment, while he went to the bedroom to grab his tank top and put it on. As he made his way back down the hall he heard both of them laughing about something he didn't catch.

Approaching the couch, Shepard looked up at him in delight, eyes sparkling with glee. He loved that expression on her face, the shift in her scent as he approached her, his smell still on her, no matter the fact that she had just showered. Patting the seat next to her, she waited for him to take his seat before she crossed her legs and settled against his side, both hands grasping her coffee cup, resting it on her lap. "Feron was just telling me about some of the others at congregation falling asleep during their meditations."

"You should see the interesting punishments they come up with here for the training priests," Feron spoke, leaning his cheek on the back of his hand, elbow resting on the arm of his chair. "They made Balin sort three different grains of rice, all mixed together on a giant pallet, into separate barrels – took him four days to finish. The look on his face when they mixed it back up … the priest just told him 'good job not falling asleep this time', as if this wasn't his first offense. I wanted to die laughing. I had to run into the sand garden to hide my face."

"Be honest…" Kolyat grinned. "That story was actually about you."

Feron laughed and nodded. "I have to admit, I might have fallen asleep during prayers once or twice, and the trick is not to get caught. There's … a lot of quiet here. It's … a little unsettling at times. No one raises their voice, everyone is overly pleasant. I haven't been around hanar in a long time … or to Kahje … even other drells, actually." Feron's voice faltered, his stare dropping towards the ground. Kolyat could sense a hidden sadness he wasn't voicing, heard the purr in his throat as he spoke.

"Come on, you know you miss tripping over glyph every few minutes," Shepard spoke up. Kolyat could tell it was an attempt to pull Feron from whatever thoughts threatened to haunt him.

"Glyph?" Kolyat asked in confusion.

Feron snorted and shook his head in distaste. "It's a drone that serves as the Shadow Broker's personal assistant, like a secretary. A specialized data-processing VI, custom built to the Broker's specifications. It would follow everyone in the control room, recognizing them as the Shadow Broker. It was very annoying. Every time I moved it would be right on my ass."

"Feron even gave it a seductive voice and got it to call him master at one point." Shepard grinned.

"Yeah, well … still didn't make it less irritating, the stalking turned me off."

"Not the master talk?" Shepard asked.

"Never the master talk." Feron returned with a roguish grin.

"How are you doing otherwise, though?"

"I'm …" He blinked both sets of eyelids, gaze dropping, expression strained. Rubbing his forehead, he took a deep breath and a moment of silence before answering. "Better … much better. The seclusion has helped, not much here to distract you and … I'm doing much better." His frills vibrated as if he wanted to say something else, but Kolyat knew he was staying silent because Shepard was there. Some things Feron still didn't want her to know, things he only shared with Kolyat in confidence.

"That's good," Kolyat spoke up, releasing an empathetic trill as Feron's eyes moved up to his. "Take your time. Just concentrate on healing."

"Kolyat's right, don't focus on anything else. Think of it as an extremely overdue vacation," Shepard added in.

Feron glanced between Shepard and Kolyat, emotion falling from his face. A moment of quiet understanding shared between them, until Feron smirked again, resting his cheek back upon his knuckles. "You don't have to pretend, I know you miss me."

"Of course. I think about you every second, of every day." Shepard grinned, taking another sip of her coffee.

"Careful, Kolyat might try to punch me in the mouth again if you keep teasing me like that."

"And here I thought the two of you were playing nice. I'm still up for that show if it's ever offered."

Playfulness entered Feron's features, a devilish smile and a plethora of thoughts flashing over his eyes. The smile quickly fell and his gaze turned off screen, serious with a soft purr of acceptance, murmured words barely picked up on their end emanated from the screen.

"I thank you. I please ask for a few more moments of time, if you would permit it," Feron said politely, bowing his head to someone off screen.

Shepard turned to glance at Kolyat, her eyebrows raised from the respect in his tone. "I didn't think he had it in him," she whispered.

"He's speaking to one of the priests," Kolyat answered, hearing her release a thoughtful hum.

Bringing the cup to her lips again she murmured softly into her cup, "I think you should talk like that to me once in awhile, it's kind of hot."

Kolyat chuckled and wrapped his hand beneath her leg to tickle her behind the knee. Letting out a soft yelp, she jerked from the touch, cheeks puffed. Kolyat grabbed her coffee cup just as she brought it from her mouth, struggling not to spit out the liquid. Placing the cup beside him on the table, he winced when Shepard poked him hard in the chest in retaliation.

"Ow," He complained, recoiling back momentarily but laughing at the annoyed look on her face. Taking her outstretched hand, he brought it to his mouth, turning it over to run his lips over her pulse point languidly, already smelling the shift as her displeasure turned to desire.

"Is this my cue to go?" Feron said, bringing both of their attentions back toward the screen. "I mean, unless you want to put on a show for me. It would have to wait until next week, though. One of the priests is staring at me, so I won't be able to fully enjoy." He lowered his voice considerably on the last sentence.

"You have to go?" Shepard asked first, both of them adjusting their positions comfortably next to one another again.

"In a few more moments, yes."

"Before you go, can you let me know if you've been thinking about what I said to you before you left?" Kolyat asked solemnly. He knew there was a chance Feron wouldn't come back anytime soon, or even to the Citadel at all, but he would've liked Feron to think about his future at least.

"You tend to say a lot of things, Kolyat. Like, 'you're amazing, Feron' and 'I can't live without you', just from the top of my recollection."

"Funny, I think my memories are a little different than yours." Kolyat growled in light hearted mirth. "I was talking about C-Sec."

"I know," Feron admitted, his relaxed air changing back into solemn reflection.

"What about C-Sec?" Shepard asked. "Did you ask him to join or something?" She continued, looking at Kolyat as if trying to understand why he would ask Feron that.

"Yeah … as a suggestion. I thought it could be a fresh start for him. Cyber Security could really use his expertise. That's if he decides to come back to the Citadel, of course."

Shepard licked her lips and tightened her jaw, her gaze turning hard as if contemplating what Kolyat had advised. Nodding curtly in rapid succession, her eyes landed back on Feron. Her darkening gaze underlined with solemnity as she voiced her approval. "Actually … that's a really good idea. It would be great to have you here Feron, and you'll be around people who care about you, in case you need us."

Feron nodded and smiled sadly, gaze falling to his lap. "I … thank you…." He hesitated, releasing an appreciative trill, moisture filling his eyes as the sound turned into a melancholy purr. "I have thought about it, and … I think I'm going to do it. My skills won't be wasted, and I could actually do some good. I'll be with people who care and…."

"And?" Kolyat urged gently, not wanting to push him, but curious to know what his thoughts were.

Rubbing his eyes, Feron pushed forth a strained smile, a hopeful purr vibrating from his throat. "This might be my chance to finally start over. Just make sure you introduce me to whoever smelled like rain and sand." He grinned again sadly.

Kolyat snorted and returned his grin, purring back in acceptance. "Heal, and I'll definitely introduce you to them."

"Koji..." Thane's voice faltered into silence, his gaze dropping while he tried to search his memories for something of the woman in question.

He was married? How long? How did they meet? Was she the same species as him? Did they have any children? Family? Did she work here, or stay here because of him?

A gasp escaped Thane's throat when a burst of agony laced through his temple, his body lurched forward uncontrollably, hand grasping at the wall to help steady himself. Closing his eyes, he took a deep, steady, breath, trying to focus on the image that his thoughts tried to push through. A human woman with vibrant red hair and green eyes tried to force her way to the surface, just behind his eyelids, sending his heart racing with excitement. Was this striking woman his wife? Some kind of memory trying to resurface?

Thane sensed Koji approach him. Lifting his head, he opened his eyes, the corners of his mouth quirking slightly despite the dull echo of an oncoming migraine keeping his eyes narrowed. Koji glanced down at him in concern, his hand hovering right before contact, as if waiting to catch his descent.

"Nero, you ok? Maybe you should go lay down a bit more." Koji's voice was inlaid with subtle anxiety while he watched Thane with discrete pensiveness.

"No, I am well enough. I appreciate your concern," Thane answered after a short pause, pushing himself back to a standing position, not wishing to alarm his partner any further. "I'm just getting flashes of pain and images - memories, I think."

"Anything in particular?" Koji moved closer, tilting his head in interest.

"A woman ... human. She-"

"Black hair? Brown eyes? That's Mitchiko." Koji cut him off, smiling in reassurance.

Thane hesitated and stayed silent, unsure if he should say something now about the image of a woman who was clearly not his wife, adding another layer to his confusion.

Why would he think about this woman instead of the one he was bonded to? Did this woman even mean anything to him? Was she a friend? A past lover? Even someone important?

"Mitchiko ..." Thane spoke his wife's name hoping that maybe saying it out loud would make him feel some kind of connection.

Nothing …

"Koji ..." Thane gurgled the man's name trying to find his voice, his uncertainties tightening his chest in dread. "What if I am unable to fully remember her? What if my missing memories are permanent? I fear-"

"Hey, hey ..." Koji spoke reassuringly, hovering his hand over Thane's shoulder again before swallowing roughly, placing his palm down heavily, if not a little awkwardly, squeezing slightly as if to offer some kind of comfort. Koji leaned down to make Thane look him in the eyes just as his gaze fell to the ground in trepidation. "It's going to be alright. You just woke up, give it some time. Trust me, she's a hard woman to forget."

Thane tried to ease himself and let what Koji said sink into his beliefs, but something tugged at him. Something he couldn't quite place. Koji smiled at him, their eyes meeting as unspoken thoughts showed briefly in the other man's expression before Koji quickly blinked them away. Licking his lips, the blond man stood up and pulled away, turning and motioning Thane to follow behind him again as he lead the way.

"Mitchiko, what kind of person is she? Is she kind? Compassionate?" Thane tried to press, those characteristics somehow ideal to him. Children? What about children? "Do we have…?" Thane let the question die on his tongue, noticing Koji halt his steps, body growing rigid, alerting Thane to his discomfort with the questions.

Thane felt as if he already knew the response before his partner even answered, Koji's eyes widened while he thoughtfully focused on the ground before meeting Thane's gaze once more. Narrowing his eyes, Koji took a step back towards him, face unreadable as Koji's gaze darkened. "Is that what you're expecting? A woman who's compassionate? Kind hearted? Sweet? Are you hoping for a Mary Jane?"

"I do not know who Mary Jane is," Thane answered in stern sobriety and Koji released a loud breath of annoyance, rolling his eyes as Thane continued, "I am trying to obtain another memory, so I am not at a loss when I see her."

Steadying his own expression, Koji took a step back towards Thane, standing up taller, somber eyes shutting down completely. "I won't tell Mitchiko that you're hoping for understanding, or a doe-eyed wife who-"

"I never said-"

"Regardless," Koji cut Thane off from trying to speak over him, crossing his arms over his chest, continuing to move closer. "I would keep your opinions of her to yourself for the time being, and your disappointments, if you get any. Until you get your memories back. You've always served her well, and her anger is not something we can afford."

We?

"Koji-"

"Since you forgot," Koji continued speaking, cutting Thane off again. "I will remind you that she runs this facility. Compassion, kindness, and understanding are not needed for leadership. Only results. At the end of the day, you work for Cerberus; for her. Just make sure you keep your hopes and what you want, to yourself." Koji stopped right in front of him. The hardness in the human's eyes creating layers of complexity as Thane tried to understand and remember Koji a little more.

"Why does it sound like yours have been extinguished, my friend?" Thane replied softly, placing his hand upon Koji's shoulder when he came within distance.

Turning his head, Koji stared at his hand in unfiltered surprise and Thane felt Koji's muscles tense beneath his palm. Was this gesture wrong of him? Had he never done it before? It only felt natural and as if it was the right thing to do.

Swallowing roughly, Koji leaned a little closer, regret entering his features, voice dropping to a whisper. "Because Cerberus will do that to you. You'll learn in time ... or remember it." He looked away, pulling from Thane's hold, and for the briefest of moments, Koji's eyes remained empty of faith, a despair enveloping his soul, making his gaze dead of warmth.

Blinking quickly, the expression disappeared, replaced once more with compassion. A deep, loud sigh escaped his mouth, "Sorry, I have to keep in mind how hard this might be for you. I don't like seeing you like this, so ... what other questions do you have? I'll answer the best I can."

"Where are we?" Thane asked in immediate response, the corners of Koji's lips twitching as if he was trying to hold in laughter.

"A hidden Cerberus base, deep underground on Clobaka, within the Kepler Verge cluster."

Thane blinked in dismay, Koji's answer doing nothing for him.

The human smirked and crossed his arms over his chest, full mirth entered his features while he flashed his teeth. "You asked."

Thane nodded and stood up straight, hands slipping naturally behind his back. "I did."

Koji snorted and shook his head. "Let me rephrase to make it easier. We're home, at least for the moment." He waved his hand dismissively before continuing, "Next question. We have time for a few more."

Thane closed his eyes and forced himself to focus, a thousand questions battling each other for dominance on the tip of his tongue. What were they doing here? What kind of base was it? What was Cerberus? How many people worked here? Who was he exactly? "And my purpose? What is my job here - our job?"

The mirth fell from Koji's expression, his stare hardening while he as if contemplating his answer. "Are you sure you're ready for that answer? I mean, you've always been a calm and collected person, but right now you don't know who you are, and I don't want to cause you to become agitated. I know you get restless and..." Sighing Koji rubbed his eyes before adding, "I'd rather not piss Mitchiko off."

Was it something bad? Was he a soldier? A mercenary? A scientist? Eyeing Koji and his mannerisms he assessed the hardness in his eyes, the fluid way he moved, and the way he carried himself ... Koji was no health care provider, either, and Thane had a feeling that whatever Koji did, he did too.

"You are my friend and partner, you know me, I sense this to be true. I remember you," Thane stated while he mused quietly. It was vague, but he could recollect images of Koji for some reason, more so than anything else, emotions that were strongly associated with his presence. Good or bad, he had trouble deciphering.

Slipping his hands behind him once more, Thane started to approach the subject with a subtle detachment. "Tell me ... my childhood, my past, anything to help me grasp who I am better. If you know any of these things." Thane had a feeling he did.

Koji remained unmoving, a stillness settling around them that unnerved Thane. He showed a cunning ruthlessness as the weight of his stare intensified. "You were born on Earth," Koji started, voice dropping toward distant remembrance. "The Island of Japan. A human couple adopted you. Mother Sakura, father Takeshi. No siblings or other family. Mitchiko and I are also from Japan."

"Is that how we met?"

Koji frowned, his gaze now averted, eyes closing. He sighed once more sadness entering his features. "You don't remember that?"

Thane tried to focus, the man's words sparking regret to flourish like a blossom of failure throughout his soul. It pained him to see the disappointment in Koji's eyes.

"We lived in Koku-shi, in the Shiga-ken Prefecture. We were raised as Shinobi." Taking a step forward Koji lowered his voice, the look in his eyes welling even more confusion to take hold of Thane.

Easing his posture, Thane rested his hands at his side, looking down between them when Koji's fingertips brushed against the top of his hand. The caress felt more intimate than reassuring, and Thane felt heat rush to his frills just as he looked up and met Koji's hooded gaze, his dark, aromatic scent filling Thane's lungs with traces of need, hands flexing with the urge to touch him further.

"You don't remember us?" he whispered, searching Thane's gaze carefully, and Thane swallowed, purring in confusion. Koji spoke again as he leaned a little closer, licking his lips, words soft and intimate, "Remember me, Koishii."

"Nero?" A voice called from down the hall followed by the loud clacking of heels.

Koji's hand immediately fell away from his, eyes falling to Thane's shirt, a quick movement of his fingers to brush something imaginary off Thane's shoulder. "See, I told you we would probably run into her, and I wanted you to look your best." Koji spoke loudly, grinning broadly. The intimate look in his eyes replaced with hidden laughter instead as he brushed the front of Thane's shirt again.

The abrupt movement left Thane even more confused and full of questions as he licked his lips, his drying tongue sticking to the roof of his mouth while he released a long controlled breath to slow his sudden racing heartbeat. Glancing at the intruder, he took a step back from the other man, turning toward the woman who approached like a raging storm, dark eyes burning and full of rising ire.

"What are you doing out of bed, Nero?" the woman asked without warmth, her commanding tone curt and empty, heels clacking loudly, white lab coat and long, straight, black hair fluttering around her body as she moved, lightning skirting the surface of an ocean.

"Mitchiko," Thane said, recognizing her, uncertainty tightening his chest, a feeling of dread pitted in his stomach.

The woman's eyes lit up in delight, a wide smile spreading over her lips, not full of happiness like Thane would have expected, but something malicious. Something not right. Something … was he imagining it?

Mitchiko came to Thane and immediately threw her arms around him. His whole body stiffened beneath her hold in bewilderment as she snuggled herself completely against him. Lifting his hands slowly, he ran them against her sides, her bony frame hard against his palms while he awkwardly tried to hold her. The scent of her skin hit him immediately, an acrid aroma that was inlaid with some kind of sordid taste that coated his tongue and the air around her like a sour fruit.

Her scent is not right. How is this woman my wife?

"I'm glad to see you're finally awake, but you shouldn't be up," Mitchiko said sternly, pulling away but her touch lingered over his chest and down his arms.

"I … wanted to see you," he lied, glancing at Koji briefly, feeling at a loss for words. The other man's eyebrow raised in interest momentarily before glancing away.

"Nero asked about you as soon as I saw him." Koji continued Thane's lie, their eyes meeting again and Thane knew immediately that Koji would not reveal his falsehood. Something was definitely not right.

"Good." Mitchiko smiled, the palm of her hand caressing Thane's frills, and on reflex, he grabbed her wrist to stop her from touching him. Staring at him in confusion, she allowed her hand to drop down between them, eyes blazing in annoyance.

"Forgive me," Thane said gently. "I am still not feeling well. Perhaps you are right and …" His gaze met Koji's again in confusion, needing time to figure everything out. "I should go lay down again. You are, no doubt, busy with your operations."

"Just like I imagine you will be, soon." Mitchiko grinned again. "I want our doctors to take a look at you immediately. If everything checks out, we will have a moment to make up for lost time before you begin." Carnality entered her features while she brushed her fingers over his chest.

Thane felt his stomach tighten in dread, not wanting this woman's scent to wash over him. Shouldn't his mark be on her? Shouldn't he be drawn to her if he was her mate? Sniffing the air, he could smell traces of his venom subtly, but not enough to make him yearn for her. Taking another step away from her, he slipped his hands behind his back and linked them together.

"Begin what?" Thane asked carefully, confused with Mitchiko's train of thought - other than her blatant hints at wanting him sexually.

Looking at him pensively, she frowned and crossed her arms over her chest. "Where you and Koji left off, of course. Your next target has been chosen for you and-"

"Mitchiko, don't you think Nero needs a little more time to…"

Mitchiko snapped her eyes to Koji in anger, the venom in her stare enough to cause the rest of his sentence to fizzle out, gaze trailing away from her while the words died in his throat.

"Nero is fine," she snapped. "I'm sure the doctors will tell me the same thing, as well. He's had weeks of rest, and I'm sure he is just itching to get back in the field." Mitchiko's penetrating stare went back to Thane, eying him warily. "Isn't that right, Nero?"

"You want me to get back to work immediately? Of course, as you say," Thane replied. His voice low and void of any warmth, body still feeling weak and uncertain, but unwilling to argue with this woman. Time away from Mitchiko would help. Her presence confused him further. He felt no attraction towards this human, her scent doing nothing for him. He wanted more time alone with Koji to ask questions and figure out why he responded to this man, more so than his own mate.

Mitchiko smiled in pleasure. "Perfect. A new dossier has already been sent to your omnitool."

"My omnitool?" Thane asked, glancing down at his wrist automatically, a familiarity settling over him, realizing the piece was missing. "And where is my omnitool?

Mitchiko blinked slowly and paused until a slow smile crept back over her lips, lighting up her face with a sense of cunning that made his instincts twitch in warning. Thane felt himself shut down, his gaze focused solely on a hidden threat that manifested in the human before him. Confusion grasped him like vicious claws, while despair made Thane wonder why he felt this way towards his own wife, but he made sure to hide every trace of those thoughts from her in this moment.

Clicking her tongue, Mitchiko tilted her head to the side as if she was preparing to scold a small child. "In our quarters, my love. Come … I'll take you there."