Summary: Five years have passed since Edward left Bella in the woods. Both Bella and the Cullens' have experienced great tragedy since they last saw each other, but what happens when they meet again, and what is the meaning of the prophecy? Bella OOC. BxJas

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of the characters. Stephanie Meyers owns all rights and no copyright infrigment is intended. I just like taking them out to play.

A/N: Thank you jdcoke for your editing skills, suggestions and encouragement!

Chapter 25 – The trials and tribulations of a newborn vampire

BPOV

The months following my change were challenging to say the least. Everyone told me that I was not exactly the typical newborn but I still had the mood swings typical of a newborn. I felt so irrational sometimes and I just couldn't seem to level myself. I would get so angry sometimes. There were even times that I didn't have a clue what I was mad about…which also made me angry. It was a hundred times worse than PMS, every second of every day for a long time.

Hunting proved to be a trying time if anyone got too close to me. I was very territorial and attacked the others on more than one occasion. One of those times, I attacked Jasper, but it turned into a much more pleasant experience. I claimed my mate and then he claimed me. It was completely primal. We were able to secure an overabundance of firewood with the trees that managed to get in our way that day.

I was latched onto the neck of a bear, the warm blood soothing the burn of my thirst. I felt a predator approaching and I growled low to frighten him away. Just as I exhausted the supply of blood, I saw the threat a hundred feet away. He was going to steal my kill!

I sprinted to him with the speed of a newborn vampire and pounced on him. I growled low as a warning and he didn't fight back. I ran my nose down his neck, about to bite down, when I realized that this was the smell of my mate. His eyes were pitch black and I could feel his lust. He leaned his head up and licked a trail of blood that had dripped down my chin. I purred and then attacked his mouth with my own. I just couldn't get enough of his taste.

My mate put his hands up on me and I reacted instinctively. I growled and restrained his hands above his head with one hand. I tore his clothes from him with my other and then I grabbed his hard length and pumped him a couple times with my hand. Then I tore my own pants off and sank down, impaling myself on his thick erection. I growled at the sensation of him filling me.

When I was getting close to my climax, I closed me eyes and my mate used my distraction to take control of the situation. He flipped us over so that he was on top and he pounded into me until I screamed with my release. Then he flipped me over, entering me from behind. His hands were gripping my hips roughly, keeping me from moving as he pounded into me and very quickly I exploded in pleasure again. His release was not far behind my own and as he roared at his completion, he loosed his hold on me.

When he had finished, I wiggled out of his grip and jumped to my feet. The overwhelming need for my mate consumed me. He jumped up and stalked toward me like only a fierce predator can. I felt the thrill of the game and my instincts screamed at me to run.

He caught me quickly and pushed me back up against a thick tree trunk. He claimed my mouth, our tongues fighting for dominance as I wrapped my legs around his waist. He thrust into me with one smooth stroke and we both moaned with the pleasure of it. He pulled his head back and we looked into each others eyes, reveling in the intimacy of our mating dance. He lowered his head to my breast as he continued to thrust into me. I tangled my fingers in his wavy blond hair, encouraging his actions. I could hear the creaking of the tree behind me as I was coming close to the edge once again. I tugged sharply on my mate's hair, eliciting a deep growl from him and I pulled his mouth back to mine. We reached completion at the exact same moment and we both threw our heads back as we screamed in ecstasy.

We were both panting, trying to catch our breath, which was ironic considering neither of us needed to breathe at all. I wrapped my body around his, curling into his side and Jasper put his arms around me. It was a while before I really noticed our surroundings and took in the fact that we were cuddling in a pile of snow, right next to a tree that evidently couldn't take the strength of our mating.

When we finally got up, we were surrounded by fallen trees. I was confused.

"Jazz, when did that happen?" I asked.

"Honestly, I don't remember," he said as he chuckled. He pulled me close and I wrapped my arms around his muscular body.

We ended up claiming each other a couple more times before we went back to the house, though it was less primal. We had to return to the house in the nude, but at least we were able to enter our room without having to go through the main part of the house. Rose got an eyeful, but she was kind enough to keep the others occupied so they did not see us.

Rose and I had become very close. Rose was exceptionally sorry for causing me so much pain, but she was so happy as well. Rose truly felt at peace with her life for the first time since she was human and I was happy that I could provide that for her. Seeing the peace in her eyes was touching.

Emmett took me aside a couple days later when the others were out for a hunt. I'd been trying to figure out why Jazz was going hunting, but wanted me to stay behind, and I think that he knew Emmett wanted to talk. Emmett sat me down and told me how much it meant to him that I healed his wife. He actually broke down as he spoke to me. I liked the soft side of Emmett. He was such a caring man with an incredibly large heart. He was the best big brother a girl could ask for.

"Bella, even though we were mates, it was years before she would let me touch her intimately. Even once we were intimate, there were times she would freak out. I did my best to be understanding, because I do understand…or at least I understand as well as a man can understand that kind of thing. I did everything in my power to make her feel loved and secure, but there were times that it wasn't enough. It's been a really long time since she's had a full blown panic attack, but every now and then…" he trailed off. I looked at my brother in a whole new light. His eyes were red and watery and I knew if he was able to cry, he would be.

"Bella, you have no idea what you've done for her, what you've done for us. She's like a new woman. I've never seen her so happy, so completely free. Bella, you've made my wife whole and I will owe you for the rest of my existence," he said. He spoke with such emotion, I was getting choked up myself.

I gave him a big hug and he gave me one of his famous bear hugs. We held each other for a long time and I could feel his body shaking from the sobs. Finally, he pulled back, giving me an awkward smile.

"Sorry about that, Bells," he said, looking sheepish.

"It's no problem, Emmett. You've been there for me. I'm here for you too. You needed to get that out," I said.

"Yeah," he agreed.

We didn't say anything more about it. He challenged me to a game of Grand Theft Auto and that's what we did until the others returned home.

Once I figured out what exactly I had done to heal Rose I avoided doing it again. I avoided my family if they were feeling their darkness, as I started referring to it. Seriously, the emotional turmoil of the newborn vampire was entirely understated. I knew that I could barely handle my own emotions and the thought of absorbing someone else's pain brought on an almost crippling panic. Carlisle, Jasper and I agreed that we would wait for a while before testing it out again and we had asked Eleazar to come for a visit so he could be there as well.

Part of my healing ability was an empath-like ability. Eleazar had been correct in his description of it back when I was human. I wasn't an empath like Jasper, but when I was concentrating on someone's aura, I could feel their emotions. I couldn't change them, but I could feel them. When Jasper and I were together, our empathic abilities seemed to complement each other. We both could feel the emotions better, but we could also block them better. It was like my gift allowed Jasper more control of us, and his gift gave me more range of mine.

There were a couple of times that our empathic connection allowed Jasper to keep me from accidentally taking someone's darkness. He realized what was happening before I did and saved me from having to experience my gift like I had that first day with Rose. I knew I needed to practice this gift and get used to it before something accidentally happened again. It was not a pleasant experience and honestly made me terrified of the whole thing. However, it was part of me and I needed to deal with that. I was not one to back down.

"Bella, darlin'? What're you thinking about?" Jasper asked as he came back into the bedroom. My head snapped up at the sound of his voice and I think my jaw may have dropped at the sight of him. He had a navy blue towel wrapped low around his waist. Little droplets of water clung to his chest and I licked my lips.

I hopped up from the bed and was in front of him at my new vampire speed. I took one long lick of his chest, reveling in the taste of my mate's skin.

"I was just thinking about testing out my healing skills. It's been five months," I said before I started sucking on his nipple.

"Are you ready?" Jasper asked, his voice rough.

"I'm always ready, cowboy," I purred.

He pushed me back hard and I went flying backward, landing at the center of the bed. He leaped toward me, landing on all fours over me. My instincts started kicking in and I flipped him over and sank down on his length. We fought for dominance and finally I let him win, because really, when he wins, we both win.

When our needs were both sated, I curled up against Jasper's side. I loved the feel of his strong arms holding me tight. He rubbed my back and I purred.

"Who are you going to try to heal, sugar?" he asked.

"I want to heal you, cowboy," I said softly. "Before, when I healed Rose, it caused you so much pain. I will do my best to keep that to myself and I thought that when I'm practicing doing just that, you being filled with peace would be helpful. I don't know how that's going to work exactly, but I want to do it," I explained. It seemed to me that doing it this way would lead Jasper to the least amount of pain. I was pretty good at keeping Jasper from feeling my emotions, though neither of us liked when I did that. I decided that if I blocked my emotions at the same time as healing Jasper and filling him with peace, it would cause him less pain.

"I don't like it. I don't like the thought of you in any kind of pain," Jasper said softly.

"I know you don't, but I can help you and there is nothing more in this world than I want to do than take away your pain from your past. I need to practice. I don't want it to accidentally happen like it did with Rose. I think I know how to prevent it, but if I don't use this skill, how am I going to avoid a possible incident again in the future?"

"I don't want you to be in pain," he reiterated.

"I know."

I lay in his arms for quite some time, both of us lost in our thoughts. Eventually we got dressed and joined the family. They were looking quite sated as well. Jasper and I were probably projecting again. The family rarely minded when that happened though. It was a good thing that there were no single people around us though.

"I wasn't trying to listen in earlier, really, but I heard you mention that you were ready to test out your gift again. I hope I haven't been presumptuous, but I took the liberty of calling Eleazar. Carmen and the others will be coming as well," Carlisle said when we sat down.

"That's fine, Carlisle," I said. "I hope we weren't being too loud."

Emmett snickered at me. "You've gotten a lot quieter actually, Bella. You are a bit of a screamer."

I laughed with him. I was a bit embarrassed, but in a house of vampires, there is no privacy. I never thought I'd be so used to it, but it really didn't bother me anymore.

"Bella, the other thing I wanted to talk to you about is acclimatizing you for interacting with humans. While we are planning on staying here for several more years, you will probably want to go shopping once in a while or do something that will require you to be in the presence of humans. The rest of us may need to acclimatize ourselves again as well since we are away from humans so long. Would you be interested in that?" Carlisle asked.

"Yeah, I think I would like that. I feel so much more in control of my emotions now, so the physical part of getting used to the scent of human blood would probably be a good idea," I said.

I was excited but scared of that idea. I wanted to be able to have good control, but I knew it would be extremely difficult. I had heard all about the whole acclimatization that the others had gone through, starting with Jasper, and I knew it was no walk in the park. It would be worth it though. Both Jasper and I were running low on clothes since Jasper and I were a little less than careful at times. Okay, so we ripped the clothes off each other in the heat of passion…a lot.

We spent the rest of that evening talking and going over the things that the others would be shopping for when they went to Denali to pick up Eleazar and his family. I loved my family.

ooo000ooo

It was a month before Eleazar and the others arrived. Rose went with to pick them up and went shopping with the girls. I basically ended up with a whole new wardrobe. Okay, so maybe it was enough for two wardrobes, but when I got the impulse to rip the clothes off my mate, I wanted to rip the clothes off of him. I didn't want to have to stop and think about how many shirts he has left.

It was nice having the extended family there. Garrett had arrived with their family as well to our surprise. In his travels he stumbled across Kate while she was out hunting. One thing led to another and the rest, as they say, is history. They made a very cute couple. They both had a certain zest for life. Garret looked at Kate like she hung the moon and I was thoroughly pleased to see him so happy. He was such a good man and he deserved that kind of happiness.

Finally, the day after they arrived, it was time to test out my new skills. Carlisle and Eleazar were going to be right there with Jasper and me and the others would be there, but hang back. We went outside so that if I did freak out again, I wouldn't break anything. I had broken a lot of things in that house, and though they said it was normal for a newborn, I still felt really bad about that.

The summer in the Canadian Rockies is something that everyone should see. The tall mountains around us were still covered with snow. It was only the end of June, so more of that snow would likely melt, but some of that would probably stay through summer because they were at such a high altitude. It was very beautiful and majestic and I felt very lucky that I was able to live in such a place.

"Okay Bella. Whenever you are ready to start let me know," Jasper said.

I looked at him, Carlisle and Eleazar to make sure they were ready. I didn't want to freak out again so they were my lifelines. I nodded and started looking at Jasper. When I woke to my new life, along with everything looking different, I could see people's aura's, or at least that's what I figured it was. It was like a light in the center of the person, radiating out. When they were in a dark place in their minds, the place where their pain resided, it was like a dark blanket, smothering the light.

Even avoiding my family when they were experiencing darkness, I could still feel it. I could feel the light as well, but the darkness always got my attention. It would sometimes feel like I was drowning or smothering and I would have to leave the room and sometimes the house. It still wasn't the same as that time with Rose. With Rose, it felt like I had actively absorbed the darkness so I avoided that.

This would be the first time I was actually trying to manipulate it. I looked at Jazz and he sent me a wave of his love. I smiled at him. His aura was bright. I nodded at him and he got a look of concentration on his face. We'd discussed it, and he was supposed to be thinking about his time with Maria. His times 'disposing' of the newborns, specifically. I watched as darkness covered him and I could feel his pain, regret, anger and despair.

I kept my eyes on Jasper's as I pulled the darkness toward me. I couldn't have put into words how I did it. As I drew the darkness away from Jasper, I started getting that smothering feeling. Jasper started pulling it back as he felt my panic, but I quickly, with everything I had, pulled that darkness toward myself and then I collapsed with the weight of the pain and despair.

I cried out and Jasper tried to get to me, but Carlisle kept him back. That was also part of the plan. I screamed at the top of my lungs feeling like the world was over, like it wasn't even worth it to go on. I hated myself and I hated the world around me. I was drowning in guilt and I welcomed the pain, as it was like a penance for my sins.

I was starting to lose myself to it, but I could hear my entire family yelling at me, reminding me why I was there, and reminding me that I was loved. I clung tightly to that and as I screamed, I forced the darkness out of me. I could physically feel it leaving me, and rather quickly it was over.

I was completely overwhelmed and sobbing with the stress of it. I cried out over and over, struggling to find myself again. I had forced the darkness away, but I could still feel the side effects, or at least that's how I was picturing it. I was confused.

Jasper picked me up and rocked me while I cried until I got it all out. He lightly traced the circles under my eyes with his fingertip.

"Sugar, your eyes are so dark," he said. I could hear the concern in his voice, but he was blocking me from his emotions.

I couldn't say anything. I couldn't seem to even make myself move. I looked back up at him, pleading with him with my eyes.

"I'll go get something for her," I heard Rosalie say.

I lost track of time while she was gone, but I could smell the animal as she and Emmett brought it to me. My throat was on fire and I wanted to leap at the animal, but I didn't have the strength. Emmett broke the neck of the mountain lion and held it up to my face. Using every bit of strength I had left, I bit into the neck. I could feel my strength returning with each pull of the warm blood and I could sense my family's relief that I was returning to myself. When I had drained every last drop, I thanked Emmett and Rose.

"No problem baby sister," Emmett said sincerely.

"Are you feeling better, Bella?" Jasper asked. I could feel his shame and guilt.

"I'm much better, cowboy," I said, nuzzling my face against his neck. "Jazz, don't feel guilty. I wanted to do this for you. I would do it again in a heartbeat. It was my choice."

"I'm sorry I caused you so much pain, my love. I'm so sorry."

I pulled back and looked him in the face. "Jasper, I do not regret a thing, nor should you. Do you feel peace?" I asked.

"I do. It's almost overwhelming how peaceful I feel, if that makes any sense and that makes me feel guilty," he admitted. He wouldn't look me in the eye.

"Jasper! I told you, I would do it again in a heartbeat. Don't belittle the gift I gave you, by feeling bad that you feel good." I sat back and thought about that sentence again. "That didn't make much sense, huh?"

Everyone laughed, including Jasper, and the tense moment passed.

"Do you need to hunt more, Sugar?" Jasper asked.

"I'll go later. I'm fine for now," I said. I just wanted the comfort of my family.

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