Disclaimer: I own nothing Tolkien created.

Mirkwood's Plague II:

Aftermath

Chapter 25 ~ Plans

~*~

Upon leaving Gandalf, Legolas immediately rushed off in the direction of the healing halls, desperate to see Glorfindel again. He knocked briefly on the door but didn't wait for a reply before pushing the door open. He was surprised to find Glorfindel was sat up in bed, reading a book and eating fruit from the plate balanced on his lap. He looked up when Legolas entered and smiled brightly in welcome.

"Glorfindel, you're looking better."

"I'm feeling better," Glorfindel confirmed, laying his book to one side and taking in the image of his love. "How are you? One of the healers filled me in on what is going on – the attack." Legolas nodded, leaning against the bedside table. "How did your meeting go?"

"It was…chaotic," Legolas admitted softly.

"You look tired." The king merely nodded. "Elrond said you stayed at my side while I was…I appreciate that, Legolas. Thank you." He received only another distracted nod from Legolas so reached over and took Legolas' hand in his own and finally the golden-haired Elf looked down at him, forcing a smile onto his face. "Are you alright?" the seneschal asked softly and Legolas again nodded unconvincingly. "Legolas, I am fine. Really. I'm going to be fine."

"I know," Legolas said weakly, his voice cracking.

Glorfindel squeezed his hand a little tighter and said, "Come and sit with me for a minute." Although he made it sound like it was something he needed, he was actually concerned about his love. All of this couldn't have been easy on him and he looked like he could use a break.

"I should get back," Legolas protested, glancing at the door.

"They can spare you for a couple of minutes more. Lie next to me. I have missed you," Glorfindel gently encouraged.

"You've been unconscious," Legolas pointed out with a hint of a smile.

"I can miss you in my dreams."

"I really do need to get back. There are things I have to see to."

"Melleth nin, please."

"Glorfindel, I have to…"

"What is wrong?" Glorfindel asked seriously, releasing Legolas' hand.

"Nothing's wrong. I just have to deal with this attack right now. I'll come back and check on you later," he promised, pushing himself up straight and going to leave.

"I know what you're doing."

"I'll see you later," Legolas said, making for the door and leaving before Glorfindel could say anything further. Legolas closed the door behind him and leaned back against it, closing his eyes for a moment. It wasn't that he didn't want to be near Glorfindel. In fact, he wanted nothing more than to lie down beside his lover and be held tightly, the captain's arms acting as a buffer against the pain, and cry himself into a deep, numb sleep. But that was the problem. He worried that if he allowed himself to do that he would never get up again if anything should happen within the kingdom. He couldn't afford to do that right then. He needed to focus.

Once he had gathered up enough strength, Legolas pushed himself up straight and straightened out his rumpled clothes and cleared his throat. He knew where he had to go now and he wasn't looking forward to it at all. It took him a few tries but he eventually found the healing hall where Mia, the little girl injured in the attack, was lying in bed. He nodded to the healer watching over her.

"How is she?" he asked in a whisper so he didn't disturb the Elfling.

"Sleeping soundly for the moment, my Lord. Her wounds are not too severe."

Legolas nodded softly, his eyes not leaving the small child. "Thank you. You can wait outside. I need a moment alone with her."

"Of course, sir." The healer bowed and quickly left the room.

For a couple of minutes, Legolas just watched the girl, lying peacefully on her side, holding the blankets tightly to her as if they were her only protection. Legolas didn't know where her aunt was but he guessed she would still be sitting with her deceased nephew. Legolas knew that's where he would be at a time like this.

"Hello," Mia's soft, nervous voice reached his ears, startling him from his thoughts.

"Hello," he answered with a weak smile. Her wide eyes shone at him in the dark and he walked over to the bed.

"It's dark," she whispered to him.

"It is late." Legolas quickly lit a candle with slightly shaking hands. He looked down at her and noticed she was cuddling her favourite teddy bear in her arms. With another smile and a sigh, he sank down into the chair at her bedside. "How are you feeling?" he asked after a moment. She just shrugged her shoulders and Legolas understood immediately. He felt much the same. "Mia, I am so sorry."

"Thank you," the little girl whispered.

"Where are your aunt and uncle?"

"My aunt's with my brother and my uncle went to get some tea. He's in the Guard and he doesn't like the healing halls. I don't either but he says I have to stay here for a while."

Legolas nodded. "He's right." That sounded so redundant. "I'm sorry about your brother," he said after a long silence.

"My aunt keeps crying and I think my uncle was earlier too. It was strange. He never cries."

Legolas smiled sympathetically. "They're upset."

Mia nodded softly. "I didn't want to cry. They thought it was odd." She shuffled up the bed so she was sat up straight. "Did you cry when your brother died?" she asked with complete innocence.

It was so profound that Legolas realised that he didn't need to lie to her. She needed reassurance, after all. "Yes, I did."

"I'm sorry," Mia offered, lowering her eyes.

"It's alright."

A knock from the door startled both of them and Legolas stood up when Mia's uncle entered. "King Legolas. Can I help you, sir?"

"No, I was just checking on the patient," Legolas smiled.

"Oh. Would you like me to leave you…?"

"No, no. Please, I should go." He turned to Mia and smiled. "I'll try to come back a little later, if that's alright."

"I'd really like that," Mia grinned.

Legolas then turned to her uncle and shook his hand firmly. "If there is anything I can do. Anything at all," he offered softly.

Although rather bemused by the unexpected compassion from the newly crowned king with whom he had had virtually no contact, the guard said, "Thank you, Your Majesty."

Legolas withdrew his hand and left the room quietly. "What was that all about?" the Elf asked his niece when they were alone again. Mia smiled and laid back down.

Legolas found himself at a sudden loss. He had hoped his visit to Mia would inspire him as to what to do next. He wanted to return to his rooms but felt that under the circumstances he couldn't. He remembered all too well what it felt like to lose a loved one and when he thought of Mia's aunt sitting beside the body of her nephew with the same pain he had felt when his father had died, it felt wrong that she should suffer alone. So he quickly found the resting place of the young boy so he could offer his comfort to his aunt. When he reached the correct corridor he was surprised to find Elrond leaning against the wall, apparently waiting for him. He slowed when Elrond noticed him.

"A whole hour. Far longer than I thought," Elrond commented dryly.

"Sorry to disappoint," Legolas snapped. "Any news?"

"You don't have to speak with her," Elrond said, ignoring Legolas' question. "She's pretty upset."

"Is she in there?"

Elrond nodded but stopped Legolas from opening the door. "Legolas, don't. You don't have to do this. Go and lie down, get some sleep."

"I don't want to sleep," Legolas shouted. "Get out of my way."

Elrond still didn't let Legolas pass though. "Please…"

"Last I checked I was King of Mirkwood and you are my guest here. Now, move aside," Legolas commanded but Elrond remained unmoved, not at all intimidated by Legolas' gruff manner. He understood where this was coming from and it was not from malice or anger. "Elrond, get out of my way."

Again, Elrond held up his arm to stop Legolas from entering the room. "That woman is distraught and I don't think you're in any fit state to speak with her at the moment."

Legolas sighed and again tried to get past Elrond. "Let me go. I have to speak to her."

"And what are you going to say to her? That you understand how she feels?" Legolas' eyes glinted dangerously at this. "She knows that. And frankly, at this point, I don't think she really cares what you have to say. Talk to her later if you want to, but give her some time." This seemed to calm Legolas slightly as he started to understand what Elrond was saying. "Let me take you back to your rooms. Come on." For a moment, Elrond was sure Legolas was going to refuse but the younger Elf then thought better of it and nodded. After all, he really didn't know what he was going to say to the woman behind that door and he was tired.

Elrond led him back to his rooms and Legolas sat down on the couch whilst the Elven Lord prepared him some tea. When the healer turned back though Legolas had his head leant back, already asleep. Elrond smiled softly, putting the mug down on the table and walking over to Legolas. He quickly went into the bedroom and retrieved a blanket from the bed. He placed it over Legolas and sat down beside him, for some reason just knowing that he would be needed and sure enough, a couple of minutes later, Legolas stirred in his sleep, whimpering slightly. Elrond hushed him, placing his hand on the king's arm. As though drawn to Elrond through the action, the younger Elf shifted so he was resting against him, and although a little surprised by this, the dark-haired Elf held him tightly as he slept.

After just an hour though, Elrond had to carefully life Legolas off the couch and place him in the bed. He pulled the covers up over the young Elf and slipped from the room, leaving Legolas to sleep in peace.

Elrond went straight to the healing halls to see Glorfindel and pleasingly he found the seneschal sat up in bed reading. "Mellon nin, how are you feeling?"

"A lot better, thank you," Glorfindel smiled, laying his novel down.

"Good. Do you feel up to completing a little mission for me?" the Elven Lord asked, sitting down beside Glorfindel.

"A mission?" the seneschal asked seriously, sitting up straight and focusing all his attention on his Lord.

"Yes. One of great importance."

"Of course, my Lord. What's the mission?"

"It will require a great deal of delicate negotiation and strength on your part. Are you sure you can handle that?"

"Well, strength may be a bit tricky but I'll do what I can, sir."

"Good."

Glorfindel looked expectantly at his Lord, waiting. "So what is the mission?" he prompted after a while.

"Legolas is in his rooms. Go to him. Take as long as you need. Just…look after him," Elrond said softly.

"Sir?"

Elrond held up his hand to stop Glorfindel's protests. "I don't want or need to know the details but I do know that Legolas trusts you more than anyone and maybe he needs your kind of…comfort rather than mine."

"My Lord, I would never…"

"Glorfindel, I don't need explanations. My only concern lies with Legolas. Whatever there is between you we can discuss it later – and believe me we will discuss it – but at this moment in time I am far more concerned about Legolas than political relations. Go and see to him."

Again, Glorfindel nodded thoughtfully. "Thank you, Elrond."

Once Elrond had left, Glorfindel quickly changed into some proper clothing and went straight to Legolas' rooms. He was startled when he met Aragorn at Legolas' door. "Estel, what are you doing here?" he asked.

"Actually, I was coming to see Legolas," the man answered softly. "You had the same idea I see."

"Elrond asked me to stop by."

"Oh." Glorfindel noticed the small bottle of massage oil in Aragorn's hands. "Massage oils?"

"Last time they helped him a little. I thought he might appreciate it again."

"That's very thoughtful."

Aragorn nodded slowly then held out the bottle to Glorfindel. "He'd probably prefer you," the man offered.

"Thank you," Glorfindel smiled, taking the bottle from the King of Gondor.

"Look after him."

"I will," Glorfindel said softly and Aragorn clapped him on the shoulder as he left. Glorfindel turned to Legolas' room and slowly opened the door. The king was as Elrond had left him: curled up in bed, still sleeping lightly. Glorfindel closed the bedroom door behind him and walked on silent feet over to the bed then sat down next to the younger Elf. Legolas obviously felt the movement and his eyes opened, fixing on Glorfindel. In the warm light, Glorfindel looked positively beautiful and Legolas was content to just watch him for a while and the seneschal seemed to understand this and did nothing but smile at the sleepy Elf, unfazed by his glazed stare.

It took a while but eventually Legolas sat up, wincing slightly. "What's wrong?" he asked seriously.

"Nothing's wrong," Glorfindel hushed him. "Just relax."

"How is Mia's aunt?" Legolas pressed, rubbing at his tired eyes.

"I don't know. That's not why I'm here."

"Then why?"

"Shh," Glorfindel leaned forward, pressing his lips to Legolas'. For a moment, the king allowed this, too surprised to react but then he regained his composure and pulled back from the Elda. "What are you doing?" he asked in surprise, looking deep into Glorfindel's blue eyes.

"Do you trust me?" the seneschal asked, taking Legolas' hand gently in his own.

"You know I do."

"Then place your trust in me for a few hours. Please. After that you can do whatever you want. Let's just be together for a while." He noticed how Legolas was about to object and quickly halted it. "Please. You don't have to pretend to me. Come on, mellon nin. If not as…as lovers then as friends. I am your friend; you must believe that if nothing else."

"Of course I do," Legolas said softly, his voice slightly choked.

"Then you will allow me this time?" Slowly, Legolas nodded and the seneschal smiled brightly. "Thank you. Right, I'm going to run you a bath."

Again, Legolas smiled at this and Glorfindel looked questioningly down at him. "It seems that all you ever do is run me baths when you come in here."

"Well, it is a skill I possess," Glorfindel laughed.

"Can't argue with that."

"Wait right here," the seneschal smiled and climbed off the bed, entering the bathroom and immediately applying the same herbs and oils to the hot water as Aragorn had done for Legolas a few months back. Glorfindel turned the water off and dipped his hand in, swirling it around for a moment, as though checking what it would feel like for Legolas to sit in. When he was satisfied, he returned to the bedroom and found Legolas sitting on the bed, looking vaguely out the window at his kingdom.

"Legolas?" Glorfindel asked from the bathroom door.

The younger Elf looked over at him calmly. "It's all mine now."

Wiping his hands on a towel, Glorfindel frowned at the rather unusual statement and asked, "What's all yours?"

Legolas nodded out the window and smiled sadly. "It belongs to me. Every league of it, every person inside these borders is my responsibility. Every tree, every rock, every friend…every enemy."

"You couldn't have known about the spider attacks and there is nothing you could have done."

Legolas shook his head, still smiling gently. "I know all that." Glorfindel sensed there was something more so said nothing. "You know, my father or brother would have had some rousing speech to boost morale right now. They'd know exactly how to deal with this attack, what to do about the Guard, how to make all this right."

Glorfindel walked into the room and sat down beside his friend. "Whether you realise it or not, you're doing fine."

"We both know that's not true."

"Stop being so hard on yourself," Glorfindel said firmly, his hand going to Legolas' and squeezing it tightly. "Under the circumstances."

"My father has faced similar pressures and he managed just fine. He fought and won a war on this soil."

"And you went to Mordor and back and you here you are, still fighting."

"I'm tired of fighting," Legolas smiled. "Going to Mordor with Aragorn and Gimli, all the challenges we faced there, it's nothing compared to this. Even as we watched Boromir die and Haldir and all those soldiers from Lothlorien, I knew what I had to do: destroy the Ring, defeat the armies of Sauron. But here…every second, I try to grasp what I need to do here yet it alludes me. My own kingdom is beyond me. I watch my people die and I see no end to it. And although I know I should fight for them I can't. I can't see past the memory of watching people I've known all my life being put on the pyres and burned for the greater good."

"It was for the greater good," Glorfindel assured.

"It's easy for you to say that and I appreciate it. And maybe you are right. Maybe I did everything I possibly could. But I'm not sure I'll ever really be able to convince myself of that. I wish I could because I so want to be strong for my people. They deserve that but I can't. I know how they suffer because I've suffered it with them and they're so much stronger than me."

Glorfindel reached out his hand and ran his fingers through Legolas' golden hair. "Stop talking like this."

Legolas grabbed Glorfindel's hand to stop the movement. "I have to talk like this. I've been trying. I know it doesn't seem like it but I have. My father never intended for it to happen like this."

"Of course no could have anticipated a plague like this…."

"No, that's not what I meant. He never intended for me to be King of Mirkwood. Rumil got all the training. He was stronger than me, no question. And I always accepted it. It was just the natural order of things."

"You can be a good king."

Again, Legolas smiled softly. "I hear people say it but I don't feel it. I have no experience, I'm young…"

"Your father was a young king and look at what he achieved."

"My father and I are different. We always have been. Some people are just meant to be leaders."

"You are a son of kings. Your father would have started out in the same position as you. He was probably just as scared and unsure as you." Legolas laughed at this and Glorfindel had to agree. "No, you're right. Thranduil was never unsure in his life."

"When my brother was young he used to speak of one day becoming king. Mostly childish things: how we would do anything we wanted without having advisors and guards around us all the time. No more school or tutors or assistants. We made this pact that we would never allow Rumil to turn into our father. We used to speak so badly of the Crown, got into trouble for it a lot of the time too. But all through it Rumil knew. He knew what he would one day have to do. He understood his duty as king and even though we joked about it he knew the pressure that would one day be put on his shoulders. I hated the thought but Rumil thrived on it. He even looked forward to it secretly. I had no such respect for the post."

"That was a long time ago, Legolas. Things change. Your brother grew up and so have you."

"At the coronation I accepted my duty but I didn't want it like Rumil did. I thought I could convince myself that I could do it. I tried."

"And everyone believes that. Legolas, you have been through so much…"

"So people keep reminding me. But it's not an excuse, Glorfindel."

"Really? I think it's about the best one you have," Glorfindel insisted.

"I could sit on the throne and act as my father did. I could muddle through day by day and hope that one day I would actually feel it and maybe in time I could even believe my act. But my people wouldn't. I could spend the next thousand years convincing people that I am the king my father was, the king they want me to be, and I would do that for them and maybe they would love me for it, but it wouldn't be fair on them. I can never be the king they expect me to be."

"Being a king isn't about meeting expectations, Legolas. Of course you would be different from your father. But different doesn't mean worse."

"You and I both know I can't do this," Legolas smiled.

"No, I don't know that."

Legolas looked steadily into Glorfindel's eyes and said, "I can't do this." It wasn't the desperate plea for help he had given Aragorn the morning of the coronation and yet it was all the more profound.

"Legolas, please. Listen to me, you're exhausted and you're not thinking straight."

"I am so far beyond exhausted," Legolas admitted softly. "I've lost everything I've ever loved: my father, my brother, so much of my kingdom. I can't stay here."

"Then go and stay with Aragorn in Gondor or Gimli in Aglarond. Go to Rivendell or Lorien. Take some time."

"Time isn't the issue. And I don't intend on going to any of those places."

"Legolas, if you're saying what I think you're saying…"

"I am. Galadriel has been planning to sail West for a while. I intend to go with her."

For a moment, Glorfindel stared at Legolas in shock. When he finally recovered himself he said, "That's not a decision that should be made lightly."

"And I haven't made it lightly."

"You have suffered so much pain and fear lately. You're grieving for your friends and family. You're not thinking straight…."

"I am thinking straight, Glorfindel. This is the only thing I'm certain about."

"But…"

Legolas took Glorfindel's hand again and smiled. "I can't stay here. I know there's no hope of a reunion with my father and brother."

"I understand your reasoning, Legolas…"

"When…when you were sent back from the Halls of Mandos," Legolas saw Glorfindel tense at the mention of the dreadful experience he had endured, "you told people that for the first few years you felt empty inside, that you wanted to sail to the Undying Lands. That's how I feel now. I have to go. Since the end of the Fellowship and the destruction of Sauron we have all felt the call of the West. I don't believe many will be able to resist it much longer."

"But we fight."

"I'm tired of fighting."

"Maybe but…"

"Glorfindel, I know you're trying to help but I know this is the right thing to do."

"And Mirkwood? What happens to your kingdom, your people? Who will lead them? Advisors? Stewards?"

"Glorfindel…"

"Because last I looked it didn't work too well for Men. A hundred years under the guardianship of stewards and the twin kingdoms were nothing more than ruins."

"Mirkwood has good advisors and Aragorn knows…"

"Leave an Elven kingdom to Men? Yes, that can't possibly go wrong," Glorfindel scoffed.

"Things have changed. The world is different now."

"Valar, you really don't care, do you?" Glorfindel shouted, standing up suddenly in anger. "Mirkwood will fall without her king."

"Mirkwood has already fallen."

"It has recovered from worse," the seneschal argued.

"No, it hasn't." Whilst Glorfindel was losing control, Legolas remained calm.

"And your people? What of them?"

Slowly, Legolas stood up so he and Glorfindel were face to face. Legolas took Glorfindel's hand and smiled softly. It felt good to smile and mean it again. "I don't think this has anything to do with Mirkwood. I think this is about you and me."

"This is about you and me," Glorfindel exclaimed, snatching his hands away.

"Why are you angry at me?"

"Why…? You've been through a lot. I get it. I understand why you want to escape. What I cannot grasp is why you are so keen to give up. You can fight."

"I'm too tired, Glorfindel."

"We're all tired, Legolas. This plague, everything that's happened lately…you're just looking for the easiest option."

"What's so wrong with that?" Legolas asked and the question stumped Glorfindel for a moment.

"Legolas, please, don't make any rash decisions. Take some time. Think properly about this. Give yourself a chance to…recover from everything you've been through."

Legolas smiled that annoyingly calm smile. "I don't think I can recover, Glorfindel."

Glorfindel took Legolas' hands again and pulled him close once more. "Yes you can. I'm going to be here to help you. And so will Elrond and the others but you have to give me a chance. Can't you even try? For me if nothing else."

The king pulled Glorfindel into a hug and whispered softly, "It's not enough."

Sharply pulling away, Glorfindel strode to the door, as if wanting to escape this conversation but stopped himself, turning back to Legolas. "Then what will be enough? Tell me what I can do to keep you here. Talk to me, mellon nin, tell me what you need," Glorfindel pleaded, his eyes glistening with unshed tears.

"I have to leave," Legolas answered calmly.

"And there's nothing I can do to keep you here?" Glorfindel asked in a shout and Legolas shook his head slowly. This clearly didn't please the seneschal. His anger, which up until now he thought had been remarkably restrained, exploded at this. "Fine! Go! Run away. It's what you're best at. You ran from me and now you run from your people. I just thought you had a little more respect for me and Mirkwood. Clearly I was mistaken." Glorfindel paced back and forth for a moment before continuing. "Do you miss your family?"

"What?"

"Do you miss your family? Your father and brother?"

"How can you ask me that? Of course I miss them."

"Well, for the first time, I'm glad they're gone. I'm glad they're not here to see you now. They would have been so disappointed in you," Glorfindel snapped, yanking the door open and slamming it closed behind him.

Legolas just stood in the centre of the room staring at the door. He wasn't surprised by his friend's reaction, he had been expecting it. There was nothing he could say to defuse Glorfindel's anger and he wasn't going to chase after him to try. Instead he went into the bathroom and slowly removed his clothes and when fully undressed, he climbed into Glorfindel's perfectly prepared bath. As he slipped into the now warm water, all his troubles melted away. He remembered that when they were a couple he and Glorfindel had shared these baths and no matter what atrocities their residences had endured it was all forgotten as they laid together in the sweet-smelling water.

Whilst Legolas reclined in a warm cocoon of water, Glorfindel stormed down the hall until he reached his guest room and slammed the door so hard behind him that the walls rattled. He strode around the small room for a moment and, looking for a release of the anger building inside him, he kicked the table in the centre of the room over, scattering papers on the floor. The anger burning inside him dissipated when the pain hit his foot and he gracelessly hopped over to the bed. After nursing his aching toes for a moment, Glorfindel sighed heavily, raking his fingers through his hair. He fell backwards so he was lying on the bed and closed his eyes.

In his room, Legolas was combing through his damp hair when there was a knock at the door. "Come in." He knew it wouldn't be Glorfindel and he wasn't surprised.

Elrond entered the room, looking concerned but his frown turned to a smile when he saw Legolas. "You look better."

"Thank you. I feel it," Legolas smiled softly.

"I'm pleased to hear it." Elrond sat down on the bed beside him. "So you and Glorfindel had a disagreement."

"How did you know? Did he talk to you?"

"No, but the smashing of furniture in his rooms gave it away."

"Ah."

"What happened?" Elrond asked gently.

Legolas smiled across at him and answered, "I told him my plans."

"Plans?"

Having faced Glorfindel with this, Legolas found it easier to tell Elrond. "I'm going to sail to the Undying Lands," he said simply.

It took a moment for Elrond to absorb this but eventually he nodded and said, "I see." Not exactly the response Legolas had been expecting but he waited for Elrond to speak and after a minute he did talk but once more it was not what Legolas had been expecting. "Are you absolutely sure that's what you want?" he asked softly.

"Yes."

Elrond nodded. "And there's nothing I can say to change your mind?"

"No."

There followed another long silence. The arguments Glorfindel had voiced out loud seemed to be running through the healer's mind but he did not speak any of them even though Legolas was fully prepared to answer them. When Elrond spoke again, it once more surprised the younger Elf.

"Alright. If that's what you really want I'll do all that I can to help."

"I appreciate that," Legolas smiled softly.

"You understand that there are things you need to take care of first. Mirkwood needs a leader of some kind."

"I know. Don't suppose you want a kingdom?" he laughed.

Elrond smiled broadly at this and patted Legolas on the shoulder. "No, thank you. But I think I know where you should start asking."

"Oh?" Legolas asked but it was stifled by a yawn.

"You're tired. Get some rest tonight. Will you allow me to speak to some people? Make some enquiries?"

"Please."

"Try and sleep. We should have an update on the Spider attack and Guard situation soon. If anything significant occurs I'll let you know." The healer stood up so Legolas could climb into bed and the king gratefully did so.

"Thank you, Elrond."

The older Elf just smiled and quietly left the room as Legolas drifted off into sleep. He had known exactly who to turn to when Legolas said he wanted to leave. He just hoped all parties would agree.