CH25

Martha was still here and Johanna, Jim and this time Lanie had joined them to celebrate New Years Eve.

Johanna had shooed everyone out of the kitchen except for Kate. "Even if you don't remember how to cook think of this as your first cooking lesson." Johanna had told her. She was going to teach her all over again if she had to.

Alexis kept herself busy playing with her new toys, while everyone else sat in the living room watching her. The TV was on but the volume was turned way down. They were going to get to see fireworks on TV before midnight rolled around in New York City.

Rick however had a surprise for everyone and it was all in a big box sitting near the piano. Rick however was being tight lipped about what was in the box.

Johanna was going over her recipe with her daughter. "Has he told you what is in the box none of us can see?" Johanna was dying to know what was so important.

Kate however shook her head while helping with the recipe that she honestly didn't remember. "He threatened me with an honest to god spanking if I peeked." Kate confided.

"And you let that stop you?" The Katie she remembered wouldn't have let that stop her if she really wanted to know.

"He threatened ME if I peeked. He didn't say anything about what would happen if YOU peeked and I just happened to be standing next to you." Kate comments.

"NOW THAT is the Katie I remember." Johanna put everything down. "Let's go." And stepped out into the dining room and headed for the box.

It was taped closed. "We're going to need a knife and some tape to close it up again. You know where the tape is?" Johanna asked her. Getting Kate to nod her head.

"I'll get the knife, you go get the tape." Johanna heads back into the kitchen while Kate goes downstairs to look for the tape.

Kate returns with the tape and finds her mother standing at the box with a knife in her hand.

Johanna quickly cuts the tape so they can open the box. "Here we go." Johanna opens the box. Pulling out one of the many items she sees inside.

Crackling Cascade

9 Shots of Crackling Tails to Large Crackling Bursts

"It's fireworks! … Probably from Canada since they are illegal in New York." Johanna explains.

Johanna quickly puts it back and closes the box. "Tape it back closed just like it looked." Johanna asks of Kate.

The sound of the tape ripping clear of the roll causes them to look over their shoulder to see if they have been caught.

Johanna cuts the tape off at the exact same spot and then smoothes the tape down so that the box is sealed. "Take the tape back to where you found it and meet me in the kitchen." Johanna whispers out.

Kate is soon back in the kitchen helping Johanna cook.

"I haven't done something like that in a long time." Kate comments.

"You've done that before!? …. When?" Johanna glares at Kate.

"Ooops, I meant I've never done anything like that before." Kate corrects her statement now that she had opened her big mouth.

"That's what I thought." Johanna starts laughing getting Kate to join her.

They have been working in the kitchen for a while now. "Does your memory always return like that?" Johanna asks.

"Yeah, it drives me crazy. It's all a jumble. Sometimes I'm not much older than Alexis and the next I'm about 10 or maybe 12, then I'm about 16 or 17. It's a mess." Kate complains.

"And you don't remember how to cook or ride your motorcycle?" Johanna asks.

Kate shakes her head. "Sorry."

Johanna stops and takes a hold of her daughter. "It's alright honey. We're just glad your back. The last 2 years have been a nightmare."

"I'm sorry, I don't really know why I went anywhere with him. I don't remember that time. I only remember bits and pieces of what came after that. Honestly I'm not sure I want to remember any of it." It was the one thing about her poor memory that she was happy for.

"Don't worry about it honey. You have Rick and Alexis now. Just focus on that. Your father and I will be here if or when you need us. You have a family now, just concentrate on that.

Your father and I are happy to just sit back and spoil our grandchildren." Johanna goes back to cooking.

"It still feels like a dream really. Alexis got lost in a Macy's one day. I hadn't been here long and Castle took me out shopping for new clothes. Alexis wondered off to lay down and sleep because she was bored and tired. I wondered the whole store shouting for her. I was scared out of my mind that I had lost her.

I really was ready to take the building apart brick by brick just like Castle said." Kate confides.

Johanna just kept on listening since Katie was talking to her.

"Then she wanted to ride her tricycle out on the dock. I watched her to make sure she stayed away from the edge to keep from going over and into the water.

She decided to show me just how fast she could go and peddled as fast as she could." Kate could still see it in her mind and Johanna could see the beginnings of tears.

"She peddled herself right over the side before I could stop her. I ran and jumped over the side without even thinking. The thought that I didn't know how to swim never occurred to me. Apparently I do know how to swim though." Kate pauses to wipe away the tears, and could see Johanna nod her head knowing they had taken Katie for swimming lessons. Johanna knew she was actually a pretty good swimmer.

"Then we went to a museum and we were playing a game. This guy picked up Alexis with the intention of taking her so he could rape her. I tackled him and got Alexis away from him then hit him as hard as I could. But he soon had me down on the floor and was getting ready to beat me to a pulp when Castle showed up and started pounding on him." Kate could still see that time vivid in her mind too.

"I almost lost her 3 times now and it almost destroyed me each time. Alexis means so much to me, I can't lose her. … or Castle." Kate confides.

"And now your engaged and have a daughter. How does that make you feel?" This Katie was partly a stranger to her.

"Happy. Amazingly happy. Castle kept saying things about marriage and it scared the crap out of me and yet when he didn't ask me it made me wish he did. Now he has and it's amazing." Kate looks down at the ring on her finger.

"Why do you call him Castle and not Rick?" Johanna was curious about that.

"I do call him Rick, sometimes. Usually when we're alone and it's personal, when it's special and means something." Like when she screams out his name during an especially intense orgasm for example. Not that she was going to tell her mother that.

Her mother! "I really am sorry I don't remember you or dad very much. I wish I did." Kate suddenly tells her.

Johanna gives Kate her first motherly hug. "Don't worry about it honey. We're here now. And I think you've found yourself the perfect man and family for you. Even if it did mean 2 years of pain to get here." Johanna squeezes a little tighter before letting go.

"I'm just glad your alive, safe, healthy and happy. … Just don't ever do that again or I'll kill you." Johanna jokes.

Kate laughs with her. "I'll see what I can do."

"Have you thought about what your are going to do?" Johanna meant as a job.

Kate shook her head. "I don't even remember why I was going to Stanford. I can remember being excited about going but not why or even if I made it there at all."

"You were going to law school. You wanted to be the first female supreme court justice." Johanna tells her while still working on cooking.

"LAW SCHOOL!? .. seriously?" Kate never expected that. She wanted to be a lawyer? She didn't even remember high school.

"Sounds like that is out. … So what has your interest now?" Johanna was curious.

"Actually keeping Alexis safe and making sure other kids like her don't fall prey to sexual perverts or preventing people like me from going away with biker scum and getting hooked on drugs too. Just not sure how to accomplish that." Kate tells her, while pounding on the bread trying to get it to feel a little sticky instead of dry. They were making fresh bread.

"Sounds like FBI or police to me. …. FBI might be nice. Lots of prestige associated with it. Just they might decide to transfer you to another city and be forced to stay there for a few years. They have a behavior analysis unit, but they are based in DC, not New York." Johanna comments.

"That's out then, because I'm not moving. I'm not even married yet and uprooting Alexis so they could follow me is out. I'm not doing that to her. I love her way to much to do that to her." Kate had her now and she was keeping her, period!

Johanna was grinning. Listening to her daughter admit to how much she loved someone, especially someone else's child made her proud. Maybe her and Jim had raised her right after all. Or was this the new memoryless Katie talking? Johanna decided on the former.

"That leaves police by the sounds of it." Johanns comments, not really sure what she thought of that.

"Be a local beat cop riding around in a police cruiser?" Kate wasn't sure that was what she was after either.

"Well there are sub secs of the police force. There's vice, who work to keep kids from being prostitutes and trying to catch drug dealers since most of them are hooked on drugs." Johanna tells her.

That however got Kate to remember what she did to get money to get the drugs she needed. It caused her to stop pounding on her blob of bread.

"Katie, …. Katie!" Johanna finally had her attention. "What Katie? A memory?" Johanna guessed.

"Yeah, a bad one. … I did something bad mom. Really bad." Kate was shaking and about ready to collapse.

Johanna wrapped her arms around her and could feel her shaking and that she was the only reason Kate was still standing. "RICK!" …. "RICK!"

Rick with Jim right behind her came running in. "Take her downstairs to bed and get her to relax. If you have some alcohol around there take a little of that with you." Johanna tells him. And hands off a shaking Kate into his arms.

Rick pulled a bottle of Tequila out of a cabinet with him along with a shot glass and did as Johanna told him to do, not knowing why.

"What happened Jo." Jim asked after they were gone.

"I asked her what she wanted to do with her life? She didn't remember wanting to be a lawyer or that she ever attended Stanford and was home for the Christmas break when she disappeared.

The FBI and police got mentioned. She didn't like the idea of being a beat cop in a police cruiser. … I stupidly mentioned that there were sub secs like vice who also went after drug dealers. … I screwed up big Jim. It brought up a painful memory." Johanna collapsed into her husband's arms.

"Her time with the biker guy who had her hooked on Heroin." Jim guesses.

"Worse I think. And I made her remember." Johanna cried into his chest.

Rick has Kate down to their bed and pours a small portion into a shot glass. "Drink this Kate." And helps her drink it down. Then wraps his arms around her. "What happened?"

Kate however shakes her head. Rick would dump her if he knew what she had done.

"Kate, please. Let me help you, don't shut down on me now. You're not losing me or Alexis. I promise. We've gotten this far. You're not addicted anymore and you finally see what I saw months ago. … Please talk to me. Don't let it eat you up." Rick pleads with her.

"Promise. Really promise?" Kate couldn't lose them. It would destroy her.

"Promise. Talk to me, please." Rick really did want to help her.

Kate looks at him. Was a promise enough. Would he still dump her? But she loves him.

Kate grabbed a hold of him so he didn't run and held on tight. "I was addicted and I knew where to get more, but I needed money. I needed it Rick, really needed it."

Rick knew it was really important now. Kate only used his first name when it was important and her heart was involved. He actually loved how she called him Castle in public and reserved using his first name when her heart was involved. It helps tell him how much she loved him.

"I went down on a guy and his buddy, then I had sex with another guy and used the money to buy cigarettes. I really needed the money and the cigarettes Rick. I'm sorry, so very sorry." Kate increased her hold on him and cried into his chest.

Her heart was now in his hands. What would he do with it?

"I know." Rick tells her.

That got Kate to lift her head up suddenly and look at him. "What?"

"Well I didn't actually know, but I suspected. Lanie told me that you were heavily addicted to heroin. And by the look of your body at the time she suspected that you hadn't been out in the sun for at least a year, maybe longer.

You were likely heavily addicted during that time considering the damage it had done to your body, and your memory. Since you looked alone when I found you, there are only two ways for you to get those cigarettes you needed so badly.

Steal them or buy them. So either steal the money or earn the money. To earn the money meant sell yourself." Rick tells her.

"Kate, I didn't care then and I don't care now. Do you still want a cigarette?" Rick asks her the question he has asked her countless time.

Kate is shocked and Rick can see it in her eyes. However she shakes her head. "No, I don't even want to see one again for as long as I live." Kate didn't either. She had a new life and wanted to keep it.

"You're not mad at me or going to leave me?" Kate still had fears.

Rick looks at her like that was a stupid question. "Of course not! You would have to murder someone in cold blood before I even considered it and even then I wouldn't leave you. I'd just wait until you got out of prison or break you out and run away with you to another country."

Kate huffs out a laugh. "Really?"

"Yes, really. You're stuck with me, … us. So deal with it. I'm marrying you. GOT IT!?" Rick looked at her.

Kate was grinning. "Got it." As Kate wipes away her tears.

"So what brought on this memory? I'm assuming it was a sudden memory." Rick was curious.

Kate wiped away a few more of her tears. "Mom asked me what I wanted to do. I told her I wanted to help people like me when I got hooked on drugs. Get rid of the biker who got me hooked. Keep kids away from sexual predators, that kind of stuff. Help families before it gets that far, and if it does help them get the closure they are looking for.

Mom said it sounded like FBI or police. FBI sounded like I would need to move to another city from time to time and I wasn't doing that to Alexis so that took out the FBI. That left police and I didn't like the idea of being a beat cop running around in a police cruiser.

Mom said there were sub sections like Vice." Kate tells him.

"And that lead to drugs and prostitution and brought up a memory. In this case a bad memory." Rick got it. And watched Kate nod her head.

"The police also have robbery, anti-gangs, like your biker guy, and detectives. Like homicide. We can do some research if you are interested." Rick offers.

Kate suddenly had a surprise look on her face. "You'd let me be police. Like a homicide detective?"

"If that is what you want to do, I'll even help you study. We can go to a gun range and learn how to shoot together. Maybe a phone call to the FBI will get you into one of their training classes." Rick didn't yet know who to call, but that wasn't going to stop him.

"You'd help me." Kate was grinning again.

"I promised that I would help you if you let me. All you have to do is let me help you and I'll do all I can, always." Rick tells her.

Kate launches herself into his arms and kisses him. She was going to marry him and let him help her for as long as she lived. Maybe even throw in a child or two.