"Hey there." Callen said when he noticed the brunette agent, catching Sam's attention too.
"Save it. I don't want to hear anything." Kensi told him in a firm voice, making it clear that she didn't want to talk.
"But Kensi we need to talk to solve all of this." Sam stated.
"No. Not gonna happen. Not after what you did to me… you couldn't even see what you did until Deeks showed you; you were the ones who were supposed to have my back and be there for me, and instead you punished me and left me alone without trying to defend me or understand my situation. And Deeks, the one who should have done that, the only one who had the right to do that, did exactly the opposite; he stood up for me against you two and defended me so excuse me if I don't want to talk to you right now." Kensi said harshly, still upset by them and their actions.
"Okay Kens, you have the right to be like this, and believe me when I say we were wrong—very wrong—to treat you the way we did and we won't forgive ourselves for that, but we will do anything for you… although we know it's never gonna be the same." Sam said softly, knowing that if he spoke to Kensi in any other way she would just close down.
"Sam look at me. I'm not in the mood to talk and I don't want to deal with this right now; I have more important things to do." Kensi's voice softened at Sam's words.
"It's okay, you don't have to do anything; no one is pushing you, take all the time you need. If there's anything we can do to help just tell us." Sam said with an emotional voice, a rare occurrence for him.
"Well I need to talk to Deeks but I can't find him. He's hiding from me and I really need to talk to him and figure everything out." Kensi answered.
"Okay, we're gonna do everything we can to find him. Let's go to Ops and see what Eric and Nell can do for us." Sam said, standing up and heading up the stairs.
"Well Nell tracked his car to Eric's place but when I got there he was gone and his car was still there. He turned off his phone and now I can't find him. I went to his place: nothing. I went to the beach: nothing. I went to every place he loves but there was nothing… it's like he just disappeared off the face of the earth." Kensi explained as they walked.
"He was at Eric's place?! What was he doing there?" Callen asked after watching them in silence.
"I don't know. I talked to Eric and he said that Deeks was there when he arrived home from here. Deeks gave him the keys to his car and left." Kensi answered Callen without looking at him.
They all arrived in Ops and asked Eric and Nell to try and find Deeks. Nell started typing on the keyboard and Eric was staring at nothing, not knowing what to do because he knew what Deeks was doing and if the Detective didn't want to be found then no one would be able to. "Hey guys… you know that Deeks is one of the best undercover agents—maybe the best—and if he's hiding and doesn't want anyone to find him then there is no way we're going to be able to." Eric said honestly, trying to get the agents to understand how hard it would be to find him.
"Well you need to find him… so do whatever it takes." Kensi ordered him in her best scary tone.
"Okay. I'll do my best." Eric said, turning to his computer.
They all tried extremely hard; they worked late into the night digging everywhere for him, but it was no use: he was like a piece of salt dissolved in water.
That night Nell stayed with Eric at his place and they watched a movie, trying to get over the boring day: there had been no cases so they had spent it only looking for Deeks… they had been unsuccessful.
In actuality, Eric had found him and had tried very hard to prevent the others from doing the same. Especially Nell.
At that moment Eric received a message on his phone. When he checked it he saw that it was from a number he didn't recognize. 'Hey buddy it's me, Deeks. This is my new cell number. I'm in D.C. now. I want you to deliver the envelope to Hetty tomorrow, and thanks for everything man. I'll see you later, D." He smiled a little, glad that Deeks had contacted him, but then thoughts of what he would have to do tomorrow clouded his mind and he worried. Would he be able to do that? Give Hetty Deeks' resignation papers?
Nell caught on to his mood shift. "What's wrong?" She asked in concern.
"Nothing's wrong." He answered too quickly, not even convincing himself.
Nell narrowed her eyes which made him look away from her. She raised her hand and gently grabbed his face and turned it towards her. "Look at me Eric, I know when there is something wrong but if you don't want to tell me I will understand." She said in a soft voice, stroking his face, mindful of his bruise.
Eric closed his eyes and relaxed at her touch. "Okay. But like everything else this stays between us okay?" Eric said, deciding that telling her the truth was the best thing to do—maybe she could even help him out.
"So this is about Deeks." She guessed.
"Yeah."
"So what about him?"
"Look." Eric gave her the phone to read the message.
"Okay, what envelope is he talking about?" She questioned.
In response Eric stood up and walked to his bedroom and returned with the envelope in question and handed it to Nell. She opened it and when she saw Deeks' N.C.I.S phone and badge she began to worry, and when she read the paper she gasped. "Oh my God Eric! What is this?" She asked, shocked at what she held in her hands.
"Yesterday, after everything that had happened, Deeks came here and when I arrived he was having a nightmare and I tried to wake him up… he bolted awake and his hands flew upwards and one of them left this mark." He admitted, pointing to the bruise on his face.
"I knew it wasn't because you fell on the armchair." Nell said with conviction.
"Yeah. So he talked to me and gave me this and told me not to tell anyone about it; he said that he would tell me when to deliver it to Hetty and you know the rest."
"Sooo… what are you going to do now?"
"I don't know. I have to give this to Hetty but I don't know how. She'll kill me when she reads it." Eric was extremely nervous; he didn't know how to carry out what Deeks wanted him to do… how could Deeks put him through this? "It's going to be hard and Hetty will be very angry when she knows about this." Eric became even more scared and nervous by the moment (with good reason… Hetty had earned her reputation).
The next day Eric went to the Mission early, right at the crack of dawn. He put the envelope on Hetty's desk and ran up the stairs to Ops so he wouldn't be there when she arrived and saw it.
The team started to show up one by one: Callen was the first, and after thirty minutes Sam appeared, and, after Sam, Kensi walked into the bullpen, obviously not interested in anything. The tiredness and sleepiness was written all over her face but no one dared to ask because they knew what was going on with her.
Hetty was the last one to arrive. She walked directly to her office and immediately noticed two envelopes on her desk: one with the L.A.P.D stamp on it and the other with nothing on it. She opened the one from the L.A.P.D first. Her eyes widened and her mouth dropped open when she read that Bates had sent Deeks on an undercover operation that would take four months. Understandably she was extremely pissed.
But when she opened the other letter she collapsed into her chair and could do nothing but stare at the resignation letter for minutes before finally gathering herself and walking to the bullpen.
"Who was the first one to arrive here this morning?" Hetty asked, her tone serious, which got everyone's attention in a heartbeat.
"Me. Why? Is there something wrong?" Callen asked, confused.
"Did you see who delivered these envelopes to my desk?" Hetty asked, her tone never changing.
"No, what are they about?" Callen answered with a question again.
"The first one if from the L.A.P.D, from Lt. Bates. He is informing N.C.I.S that there was an undercover operation that required Mr. Deeks and he has already sent him on that operation." Hetty said in a sad tone.
Everyone was shocked at what they heard.
"What do you mean he sent him to go undercover?" Kensi demanded, her worry growing.
"Like I said, Ms. Blye, he sent him on an undercover operation." Hetty repeated.
"For… how… long?" Kensi managed to ask.
"It's going to be a four month operation." Hetty replied, a small tremor in her voice.
"What! Is he kidding? Deeks still needs time to heal—a lot of time—how could he do that? He's sending him to his death! Oh my God… that means he will leave for four months." Kensi's voice dropped to a mere whisper when it really hit her.
"And what about the over envelope?" Sam asked from his desk.
"That's the problem Mr. Hanna, Ms. Blye it looks like Mr. Deeks is not leaving for four months; he is leaving without coming back."
"What do you mean Hetty? He is my partner, how is he not coming back?"
"I have this letter in Mr. Deeks' handwriting, saying that he is resigning from his position as a Liaison Officer to N.C.I.S." Hetty said, trying to prevent the tears from falling.
There was anger on Callen's face, guilt on Sam's, but Kensi's face held too many emotions to sum up in one: anger, guilt, disappointment, hurt, and pain. She blamed herself; she was the one who made him leave, he left her just like everyone else she'd every trusted, but this time it was all on her. Unlike the others, she was the one to blame this time.
"Wait a minute Hetty, I guess I wasn't the first one to arrive because I heard some noise in Ops." Callen said, remembering the sounds he'd heard when he walked to his desk.
"Mr. Beal… Mr. Beale." Hetty called from the bullpen.
Eric heard and left Ops to meet them in the bullpen.
"Yes Hetty?" He asked, knowing full well what she wanted from him.
"Did you see who put these envelopes on my desk?" Hetty inquired.
"The one from the L.A.P.D came in the mail today and the other one I put on your desk." He answered, unable to lie.
"You put this on my desk?" She asked, showing him the envelope. He just nodded. "So you know about Deeks' intentions to resign?" She asked, anger clear in her voice.
"Yeah, he told me about it a couple of days ago and asked me to give that to you today."
"Why didn't you tell me? Why didn't you tell anyone? We could have prevented this from happening! We could have helped him." Hetty exclaimed, nearly yelling at him.
"Hetty… that's what he told me to do. He didn't want anyone to prevent it, he didn't want to see or talk to anyone. He even requested that undercover assignment to get out of here." He explained, his voice rising slightly.
"What do you mean by that Mr. Beale?" Hetty asked, concerned why her Detective had done all that.
"Are you kidding me Hetty? With everything that's happened to him are you really asking that?" Eric asked, truly angry now.
"'With everything that's happened to him…?' Mr. Beale I don't know what has happened to Mr. Deeks, would you please enlighten me?"
"Perhaps you should ask them that, not me." Eric said, pointing to the three agents standing at their desks.
"What do you mean Eric?" Callen asked, demanding an explanation.