Letters to America
In response to: Dear sir,
Would you like me to give Alaska weapons too? He's been asking me for some too. Attached to this letter should be a care package filled with barbeque sandwiches, tacos, assorted chilis, and a couple of hamburgers since you asked so nicely. It's nice to know I'm only remembered when my glasses are on your face or when you're eating one of those heart attacks on a bun that I have sadly provided you more of. I'm thinking about having a scary movie night soon (food provided) and I'm debating about who to invite... I've narrowed it down to California, Alaska, Hawaii, Russia, Canada, England, Japan, and you. Tony and Whale are welcome to if they wanna come, is there anyone else I should invite?
Signed,
Alexander A. Montoya
P.S. Bring any scary movies you want, I sadly only have a small collection.
P.P.S. Watch out for my dogs at the door. Houston, my German Shepherd, should be fine with y'all, but Austin, my Chihuahua, can bite extremely hard if he decides he doesn't like you.
Dear Texas,
Uh…I'd prefer if Alaska didn't get any weapons. He already nuked himself…which is odd enough. I don't think he needs anything else. YUSS! FATTY FOODS! I love fatty foods. I got some green tea here though, provided by Japan so I'm still upholding to my diet. I think of you and all my children many times! Not just if I eat or wear something from you guys! Aww! You're inviting me too? I love you soo much! Don't forget Austria and Austria and Prussia's kid!
With love, Alfred
P.S: Ok. I'll bring a bunch of movies over! You can keep a few too! I've already watched them all!
P.P.S: Yo dude, I'm cool with dogs! I'm the hero!