Author Note:

Hi everyone. I got an error the first time I tried so hopefully things are working alright now. Enjoy! ~b

Chapter 23: Those Difficult Conversations

Stef watched her daughter's face fall as Lena told her that she would need to be with them at all times, except for when at home or in class. Indefinitely. An expert at managing students, Lena had been fierce in delivering the consequences. Lunches and breaks would be spent in the main office. As well, Callie would now need to sign in and out when she arrived in class and each time she left so any absences would be immediately flagged. It was extremely restrictive but the only one they could think of to discourage her from running, which they couldn't risk happening again.

The hardest part had been explaining the Parole Officer's concerns over the noncompliance with her conditions. In light of recent issues, he wanted to know what strategies were being implemented in her current environment to reduce the risk of breach of parole and to support her in being able to remain in the community. That was why the consequences extended to school. Bill, who had advocated for Callie to be kept out of a group home, now faced pressure from both the PO and his Supervisor to deliver. It'd be tough to balance disclosing enough to show Callie how serious her predicament was while keeping it age appropriate so they wouldn't scare her needlessly.

"I know you want your independence, Callie—and we'll talk about what that can look like exactly. But right now, this is what Mama and I are comfortable with," Stef said.

"I'm sorry, honey," Lena said apologetically. "They just want to see that we're helping you follow the rules." She, too, had seen the girl's disappointment as she described how things would be for the foreseeable future. Callie had remained silent the whole time and she wondered how angry their daughter was with them, but she was also relieved by the lack of argument. For the first time, it seemed like they had her undivided attention.

"We're only doing this because we care about you and have your best interests in mind," Lena pressed, losing confidence at Callie's low spirits.

"Sweetheart…" Stef began when her wife glanced worriedly at her. "Being a good parent means that sometimes Mama and I have to do things you won't like us for because it's for your own good. Those decisions need to come before your happiness. I know it sucks, Cal, but that's just the way the cards land. You've got to trust in that even if you don't agree or understand why we're doing something."

"You've been playing with fire, love. I'm not sure you understand how quickly things can get out of hand if you continue down this road," Stef said, struggling with her words. As a minor, Callie's safety and wellness were a priority while in their care. They wanted to see her reach her potential and grow into someone she could be proud of. But it felt like they hadn't been doing a good job at it lately.

"They can argue that because you're not following the rules, you need more monitoring. You could be placed in a group home or be ordered back to juvie." And that would damn well kill me, she thought. She felt terrible for harping on about this as Callie's expression filled with sadness and worry, but the pressure to get her in line was overwhelming. If there was ever a time to get her cooperation, it was now.

"I know you don't want that and we're willing to do whatever it takes to keep you out of there, even if it means having you upset with us."

Though it hurt to think of, Stef meant it—right now it didn't matter if Callie hated her. Consequences at home were benign compared to being taken back into custody.

"Please, please, take this seriously. The running away and the drugs need to stop. Please make the good choices we know you are more than capable of," the cop begged. "We love you. You know that right? We love you and nothing you do will ever change that but you need to listen."

"Okay…I'm—I'll try harder," Callie stammered, wanting to prove she had heard what they'd said. She fiddled with the hair tie around her wrist as she thought about how everything had sucked since yesterday and that she didn't want to be in trouble anymore.

Stef and Lena exchanged tired, knowing glances. They wanted to believe their daughter, they really did. However, they had doubts whether Callie truly understood where they were coming from—instead telling them what she thought they wanted to hear to get them off her back.

They'd find out soon enough. As much as they knew Callie wanted space, they weren't planning on giving it to her. It was apparent from how skittish and polite she'd been when Stef tried to talk to her before that her sense of security had been destroyed. The last thing they wanted was to leave her alone, letting the negative thoughts percolate. They didn't want Callie to feel as though they'd given up on her because of how she had acted.

They also feared that if they let her go now, she'd have a chance to rebuild some of the walls that had broken yesterday. That wasn't what she needed. She needed to talk and to really hear them, which was much easier when she wasn't focused on fighting. Now that she was down, they actually had a chance at getting through.

Much to Callie's dismay, their discussion was far from over. Her worries had been building since learning that Bill would be coming over and she was trying hard to hide her feelings. Although the women had been careful in what they said, she was astute enough to know that she was really in shit now.

Getting their daughter to crack was exactly what Stef and Lena wanted. They wanted her to take ownership of her behaviour by having her identify where things had gone awry and describe her reasoning behind her choices. This would allow them to suss out her level of understanding and help show what could've been done instead.

"Alright," Stef said tiredly. "Let's try something new. Why don't you tell us what you think were some things that went wrong yesterday?"

The teen's gaze flitted nervously between the two women. "I broke a lot of your rules," she said in a small voice. She gulped as she waited to see if that was acceptable. When the cop only nodded in encouragement, she realized they wanted more.

"I ran away," she began after taking a deep breath. "I went through your things and— went in your safe when it wasn't allowed. I— smoked pot in your house when you said not to do that anymore," she listed off. Her voice pitched after each indiscretion.

"I was really disrespectful…I—I said the F-word at you…and didn't listen when you told me to do stuff. I threw my pop at you," Callie said guiltily. The more she came up with, the more discouraged she felt. Her ears burned with embarrassment at having to rehash everything for Lena. "I didn't listen when you told me to show you what was in my pockets and... thenIblewsmokeinyourface," she mumbled.

Lena raised an eyebrow. Stef hadn't told her that part. Though she had already heard about most of the misbehaviour, hearing her daughter own up to it somehow drove home its seriousness. Still, she was concerned by how bereft the girl appeared—how dreadfully earnest she was being in doing what she was told. Callie's chest was heaving silently and tears appeared imminent.

"Honey, this is as much your home as it is our's," she clarified, addressing what had worried her the most about her daughter's confession. "That's why we have the same expectations for you as everyone else in this family."

Stef smiled fondly as the girl gave Lena a sad nod. Their stubborn child was trying, and that mattered—a lot. As she and Lena had discussed, there was only so much they could do. Without Callie's buy in, it had been nearly impossible to get her to cooperate by their rules.

Despite her conflicted feelings over what she had to do to get there, Stef was proud of her daughter for how easily she recognized what she'd done wrong. Before this, it always felt like they were strong-arming her into acceptance—only so they could get her to grudgingly go along with what they wanted.

It was as she had suspected—Callie knew right from wrong. The issues were partly defiance—refusing to accept she was accountable to them—and an inability to make good decisions under duress.

"What do you think of what you've just told Mama and me?" Stef prompted.

Callie shook her head tearfully. "I really messed up. I—I'm sorry," she said with genuine remorse.

The cop nodded approvingly. "I know, love. You don't have to apologize anymore—you're forgiven. We're not upset with you." She paused, unsure of what she could say to make this conversation easier on their daughter.

Stef let the words sit, debating how to guide the conversation forward. She and Lena had decided that it would be best if she continued dishing out tough love since Callie was already mistrustful of her. Until time would help mend their relationship, she needed someone she could go to if she needed help and currently, Lena was that person. It was terrible, but the alternative—having her be wary of both of them—was worse. Stef had to be content being in Callie's bad books for now.

"But you know that we need to talk about this, right?"

"Your behaviour yesterday was not okay on so many levels," Stef gently scolded. "You deliberately disobeyed us. We've already talked at length about pot being an unhealthy choice and you know better than to be disrespectful so I do not think we need to belabour these points any more than we already have." She was no longer frustrated but was far from impressed with the girl's decision-making. "We do need some better rules to help us be respectful, though."

Callie swallowed. Belabour?

The cop steadied her resolve against the twinge of guilt she felt when Callie glanced at her fearfully. "It's okay, Bug. They're more reminders for me, too," she reassured, glad when her daughter perked up. "We're both going to agree to them because I'm just as responsible for escalating our fights as you are and there is no excuse for that."

"Okay," Callie said tonelessly.

"Alright. When you're upset, Mama and I want you to try to think about something better to say than the first thing you want to say. See if you can think of a different way to say what comes to mind right away because the first thing probably won't go over so well."

"The other one to remember is to take two full breaths and one step back when you want to get in my face or you think you might do something you might regret. I'm going to do this as soon as I want to start yelling," Stef offered. "Am I clear?"

Callie nodded compliantly.

"One more thing. Owning up to what you've done before we find out will always—always, always—lead to less problems than if we find out you weren't being truthful. And we will find out," the woman reminded. "Lying can buy time but when your luck runs out, that's when we get frustrated and you end up in a crap—"

Her wife shot her a withering glare before she could finish her point.

"Hm. Careful with laughing at your mother," Stef said at seeing Callie's shy smile. She waited, wanting some of the tension to fade before continuing her efforts to nurture the girl's long-term thinking.

"I get that it's a scary place to be in, I do, sweetheart. But it's not a good place to be. Not only are you then in hot water for whatever you're covering up but for lying as well. You'll never get in trouble for coming to us. Make sense?" she prompted.

"Yeah," Callie agreed, saying what she knew was expected of her. She had definitely lied to the women when she knew it was wrong…but somehow, it seemed like the truth hardly ever mattered.

"Now, about the running away. We can't have you taking off like that. It's not safe," Stef admonished. She cringed inwardly, knowing her wife wouldn't like what she would learn next. "Especially where you ended up. The port is extremely isolated and it wasn't safe for you to be there alone," she said as Lena listened with her mouth agape.

At hearing the sternness in her foster mother's voice, Callie felt her stomach flop. "Sorry," she apologized.

"Did something happen at the session with Dr. Wiseman?" Lena questioned, remembering how defensive the girl had been the first time she asked when Mike had brought her home.

"No. It was good," the girl replied, unsure of what else she could possibly say.

Callie's body language, however, made her words anything but convincing. As stubborn and as spirited she could be at times, lying was something she was not well versed in. Arms held close to her body, Lena noticed Callie begin to repeatedly squeeze her hands together in a self-pacifying gesture to deal with her discomfort.

Stef also knew better than to accept her daughter's words at face value. Good was the last thing to come to mind to describe how the first part of the session had went. Instead, Callie had been moody and stubbornly avoidant during the assessment, participating only when strong armed into the truth. When it came time for her to leave, her daughter had been unable to conceal her distress. Judging by her subdued demeanour when she finally appeared in the waiting room, Stef surmised that things had only deteriorated from there.

A part of her blamed Gisella Wiseman. Their girl was an open book and Stef found it hard to believe that there hadn't been obvious signs that things were breaking down. Had the psychologist failed at redirecting their discussion, pushed too hard, or had she missed the signs altogether?

However, Stef accepted that she wasn't without fault for how things had played out. She'd been so convinced that one-to-one was the right answer that she hadn't even considered how leaving the session probably came across. In hindsight, she wished she had found out if the transition could've been made gradually to ease Callie in while helping to establish some trust between the two. Even if Dr. Wiseman had refused, at least it would've shown Callie that her worries were being considered instead of giving the impression that they were dismissing her completely.

Lena decided on a more direct approach this time. "Why did you run, honey?" she asked gently.

Callie looked down at her hands, trying not to become flustered as she struggled to find a suitable reason. Ideally one that wouldn't get her in more trouble but also wouldn't lead to any more talking. It was all they'd done today and she was becoming exhausted at having to be hypervigilant around the women. Her head was pounding to the point of nausea now and for some reason, she felt jittery and feverish.

She had no idea what to say. She had already tried to tell them that she hadn't meant to go as far as she did and that hadn't gone well. Saying that she wanted to get some air outside and then ended up further than she wanted to because she went on autopilot probably wouldn't fly, either.

Plus, she knew what Stef thought, remembering how the woman had lit into her. "You don't run away because you didn't get your way!"

She hadn't run away to spite them for making her go to Dr. Wiseman's but she was sure that there was no way they'd believe her and she was done fighting for her truth.

"I guess…I wanted to stick it to you for making me go when I didn't want to," she stuttered, trying to convince herself of the lie. She smiled painfully as the sleeping butterflies in her belly took flight in droves. Inside, she felt rotten though she had responded the way she thought Stef wanted her to. They had just said that they didn't like lying…

Hearing the explanation left the women discouraged for it was just about as far from the truth as it could possibly be. Throughout the morning, they had been careful not to show any impatience or annoyance in order to encourage Callie to talk. This felt like another setback.

The women remained quiet for a moment, pondering how they could encourage Callie to open up to them about what had really happened.

"Okay. And did that line of reasoning turn out the way you thought it would?" Stef responded calmly. Out of respect for their daughter, she decided that they needed to run with it. It wasn't fair to expect her to trust them completely just because she was told to. They needed to show her that they had enough faith in her to give her a chance.

Callie shook her head, hoping she hadn't given them another reason to be upset with her.

"You know better than that, love," Stef pleaded. "You scared us half to death by putting yourself in an unsafe situation. I never thought I would be so happy at the sight of one of my kids being brought home in a squad car," she said playfully. She ducked her head to try to catch her daughter's gaze but her efforts only caused the girl to become even more nervous and turn away from her. Although Callie wouldn't budge, they still needed to find teachable moments in what she had disclosed, whether true or not.

"Hey. Look at me, please. This is important," Stef said, relieved when she finally succeeded in getting Callie to peer at her.

"You're alright," she reassured, smiling warmly at the girl.

"Try to remember that there's always a way to be responsible—even if you've made a decision you shouldn't have. I'm serious, Cal. I truly hope you don't ever do something like this again but if you find yourself in a similar situation, you need to call us as soon as you walk past anywhere or anyone you can ask for a phone. A storefront, reception, another parent. So we can come get you. We'll give you space if you're that angry with us but running off without telling us is never okay," the cop urged.

"Do I make myself clear?"

"Yeah," Callie mumbled. The woman's gaze was soft but she was having trouble reconciling it against the sternness of the words.

The cop took a deep breath before continuing. "Sweetheart, I shouldn't have pushed you in there. You weren't ready to share and I should've respected your space. I was so focused on having you do what Dr. Wiseman wanted instead of being there for you. That wasn't right. I can see why it looks like I took her side…why I helped her."

"I—I didn't mean to screw you over," Stef said apologetically, validating what her daughter had screamed at her outside.

Callie's voice was nearly indistinct. "It doesn't matter."

"Oh, my love…of course it matters." The young girl's dismissiveness of her olive branch had left her disconcerted.

This time, there was no acknowledgement.

Noticing Callie beginning to withdraw into herself, Lena stepped in. "It's not easy to talk to someone you don't know," she empathized, knowing how much her daughter disliked appearing vulnerable especially around strangers. "I know how much you didn't want to go and Mom and I are so proud of you for giving it a chance, even if you were angry about it," she praised. "Dr. Wiseman mentioned that you participated well during your time with her."

"Do you think you might want to try to go back?" she asked as her daughter chewed nervously on her bottom lip. "You can tell us how you really feel about her," Lena encouraged despite being fully aware that the girl wouldn't share. "Mom and I can find out if there's any way we can stay with you the entire time if that's what you still want," she offered.

Callie tried not to frown as the urge to kick something bubbled. She was so frustrated and confused. Why were they suddenly giving choices that had never been on the table before? Asking for her opinion felt like an afterthought. "Um. She's okay…" she finally managed. "I'm good with anything."

"Bug…" Stef said sympathetically at seeing the girl's discouragement. After everything that had happened, she really thought Callie would've jumped at the chance to stop going. At the same time, it was clear why she didn't want to go against them.

"Really, honey, you don't have to go if you don't want to. We'll take a break or find something else," she said as Callie only closed her eyes and shook her head.

"Why don't you sleep on it?" Lena suggested. "There's no reason you need to make a decision right away." The next appointment had already been booked but as long as she cancelled early enough, they wouldn't be fined.

After Callie had been fighting tooth and nail to get out of counselling, the sudden compliance hurt.

"Do you understand why you were punished for opening Mom's gun safe?"

As her daughter nodded reluctantly, Lena couldn't help but notice how foreign the words felt on her tongue. In uttering them, she felt complicit in a decision she had never wanted a part in. Still, she stopped herself from asking in a way that pinned it onto Stef for the sake of showing that they were on the same page. What was done was done; the most pressing issue was to help Callie comprehend why she had been disciplined so they could sort through the mess of what it had and hadn't meant. No matter how much she and Stef disagreed with each other, Callie deserved the security of not seeing them waffle.

It was Parenting 101: Action over Understanding. Should a difference of opinion in parenting emerge, the best recommendation was to support your partner in delivery and follow through. Those arguments needed to be saved for behind closed doors, away from prying ears. Little good often came from children knowing that their parents were at odds with each other.

Despite this knowledge, Lena was struggling—oh, she was struggling hard—with her anger towards Stef. Hitting their children as a means of correction had been taken off the table after a brief, failed trial with a preschool-aged Jesus. Now she was grappling with her own feelings of betrayal by Stef's actions, compounded by her worry that the inroads they had made with Callie would be undone. Attachment-wise, they had taken a massive step backward and she knew it'd be an even greater battle to get back to where they were with the young girl.

Still, it was easy to see how the breaking point had been reached. As the full picture of her daughter's behaviour from the day before had emerged, Lena realized that her wife had been right about Callie's disobedience. They had been struggling to manage her for several weeks now and despite their best efforts, her recklessness had only escalated. It was hard to not feel like a failure.

Hearing her daughter stumble through her answers, Lena agreed that Callie was capable of knowing right from wrong. The issue was that she didn't understand—or worse, care—that she needed to follow their rules and how that was jeopardizing her probation. And that, to Lena, was even more problematic.

Though a tough pill to swallow, she could appreciate why Stef had decided that instilling a fear of consequence would help get Callie started on doing the right thing. That in time, going through the motions to avoid negative consequences would slowly nurture responsiveness toward positive affirmation and ultimately, the desire to make good decisions out of internal validation.

Unfortunately, that was the sticking point. To Lena, it felt like Stef had taken a gamble on Callie's attachment and emotional safety to get there.

"I know you want some space, love, and I promise you'll get some as soon as we're done. Okay?" Stef's voice faltered momentarily before she recovered. "But we need to make sure you understand why you were spanked."

It hadn't been her intention to try to evoke shame and she felt terrible when Callie lowered her head in defeat. However, she was determined not to leave this unresolved.

Callie drew in a shuddering breath, uncertain of whether she'd be able to speak without breaking down completely in front of the women. The knot of helplessness and confusion that had formed during their talk was now up in the back of her throat, threatening to unravel. But no matter how determined she was not to cry, she forced herself to speak, fearing what might happen if she didn't comply.

"I went in your safe," Callie whispered. Her expression filled with remorse as pent up tears finally made their way down her cheeks. The fatigue and confusion were getting to her—Stef had been nice today but she been mean yesterday, leaving her unsure as to which version of the cop she could believe.

The cop's tone was patient but stern. "Why was that wrong?"

"Because you put your police stuff in there and you lock it up so nobody gets hurt."

"You betcha. Why else?"

"Because I broke your trust…b—because you don't expect anyone else to open it." She sniffed noisily, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand as the tears fell harder. She felt terrible that she had let them down, and that coupled with the fear of screwing up again was overwhelming. Though Callie knew it was her own fault for being on autopilot when she entered the code, it hurt that Stef hadn't believed her when she said she hadn't touched her gun. "I wasn't supp—posed to be in there and I—I'm really s—sorry," she blubbered.

"Oh, honey. Don't cry, it's okay," the cop said, regretting that she had pushed the girl too far. "You were punished for it, and it's done—fresh slate. No need to apologize anymore. Everything's forgiven."

She hated seeing Callie so upset. "Will you let Mama or I give you a hug? You look like you really need one."

Callie began to shake her head before she stopped herself. Both women's gazes were soft, but for some reason she felt uneasy around them. "No, thank you," she declined politely, finally working up the courage to speak.

Stef thought she might know where the girl's distress was coming from. "Sweetheart, I want to let you know that I believe you when you say you didn't touch my things for work. I do. But that was still a very, very poor decision on your part to go into something you knew you weren't supposed to. Whether or not you handled my gun isn't the point—it was that there was potential for things to go wrong."

"It changes my understanding of what happened, yes, and had you done that we would be having a very different conversation right now."

"But it would not have changed anything about my decision to give you the consequence I did. Not a thing," she said, earning a glare from Lena. Clearly, her wife was still pissed off at her for not backing down.

"You can hate me for it, Callie. I know how much you didn't like what happened and that's okay, you don't have to. Please just know that I love you very much and that has never changed," the cop said, fighting back her own tears at acknowledging what she feared the most. However, she wanted to give Callie that permission.

Her daughter had remained silent the entire time, working hard at keeping her walls intact. However, for the first time in awhile, Stef was certain that they had earned her undivided attention, which brought with it a sense of relief. In her vulnerability, she was finally ready to listen to what they had to say. They just needed to make the most out of the moment to try to get through to her.

"How did you figure out the code?" Mike had recently bought a safe that was alarmed to meet fostering requirements and he had kindly agreed to swap units with her so really, it didn't matter anymore. However, Stef was curious; she had made sure that each number in the string was unique so it'd be hard to guess.

"It's okay. Remember, being honest even when you've made a decision that's not so great is the responsible thing to do. We won't get upset with you for telling the truth," Lena coaxed as Callie sucked in noisily through her nose. One socked foot rubbed against the other in what the woman could only guess was an attempt to self-soothe.

"When you signed my textbook forms," she said after a few minutes had gone by.

Lena watched as Callie's eyes darted between her and her wife's, trying to be cautious—debating if they were safe for her to disclose the truth. "Go on, honey. That was the first week you were here?" The woman tried hard not to let her own anxiety show. Had Callie been calculated about it?

"I— was sitting on your bed. Stef was getting ready for work. I—I saw her punch it in." Callie's voice pitched nervously.

Beside her, Lena heard her wife draw in a long, shaky breath before letting it out. Oh my God. Callie had known all this time.

"Was in an accident, Callie, or was there a reason that it was important to you to know the code?" Stef asked, horrified by the revelation.

"Both, I guess," the girl answered tearfully. "I didn't know who you were… just that you were the police and thought I should remember in case…maybe if you weren't good…" Callie mumbled, trailing off.

"In case you needed to protect yourself and Jude," Stef finished. Somehow, she knew that whatever had fuelled the fear was more sinister than that. Her daughter wasn't referring to a minor disagreement. "You know that I would never hurt you two, right?"

Callie looked at the cop in genuine confusion. She had hurt her.

"Honey, did you run from Mike because you're afraid of the police?" He had mentioned that Callie didn't want to come home probably because she knew she would be facing two unhappy parents but Stef had a sinking feeling that something more had contributed to it.

A slow nod confirmed her suspicions. "Oh, Bug," she sighed. Callie had been afraid of her from the beginning but likely even more now. "Mike was just doing his job, hey? Just like when I searched you because I needed to make sure you didn't have my gun. I'm so sorry, baby. We didn't mean to scare you," she apologized sincerely.

"But it's so important that you—never—never, never—run from the police," she emphasized. "There have been cases where the police have used too much force on people who ran from them or resisted and they ended up getting hurt. I'm not saying that's right or wrong, and that's a whole discussion for another time, but that has happened."

"I hope you never find yourself in a situation with the police again but if you do—and so help me if you do, you'll be in more trouble with us than this entire week combined," she muttered as Callie winced. "But if this does happen again you don't run. I'll give you a card with my name and badge number. You can ask them to page me and that will get a hold of me right away on the radio. I can walk you through whatever it is until I can get there."

Suddenly, she understood the rollercoaster she had yanked her child on. She had conducted a search on her when Callie was afraid of her, reminding her the entire time that it was for safety. Being as careful and reassuring as possible to allay her fears so she could do what she needed to do.

She had roped her into believing she was protected before turning around and shattering it.

She had harmed her child.

No wonder Callie was trying to keep her at arms length.

A/N: How do you think Stef and Lena are handling everything? What do you think Callie is making of all of this?

I'm hoping to end this story in about 10-12 chapters. There is just so much I want to see happen but I'm afraid if I add everything, I'll get burnt out before I finish or lose track of the story arcs and leave myself vulnerable to plot holes. Extra scenes (like the bank account) I will save for one shots.