Ch. 25 Alex's POV

My instinct is to call Casey once again. I click the adorable little icon once again. Please pick up please pick up come on Casey check the phone.

The phone barely rings once before her voice comes over. At first I feel relief and the same little flutter in my hear that I feel everytime I hear her speak. Then I realize it's just her voicemail once again.

"hello this is Casey Novak's phone-"

It's off. Her phone is turned off. No. Why is her phone off? She never turns it off in case of an emergency.

"did she answer?" Olivia asks.

"no her phone is off." my voice shakes as I attempt to keep from crying.

So starts my full on panic mode. She's gone and her ring is in the car along with a letter. She wouldn't leave her ring in the car like that so carelessly. It doesn't make any sense that the car was left on the side of the road by her because it's not damaged and there's half a tank of gas enough to get her home, but she drove in the wrong direction. Where the hell could she possibly be, why isn't she here, what if she isn't safe. What if he followed her and has her.

"oh god oh god." I hyperventilate.

"Alex. Alex breathe." Olivia reminds me.

He sent her a letter last time talking about being with her by any means necessary.

"what if he was following her?" I ask Olivia.

"who?"

I explain the situation with Eric O'Neal, hyperventilating the entire time.

"do you know how he knows you guys?"

"no. We don't know who he really is or what he looks like. His name isn't even a name it's an alias. We thought that he got bored of us and moved on. Liv he might have Casey. What if he does? He almost killed me without even touching me. What could he do with Casey in his hands?"

I start to break down crying.

"Alex. Alex look at me." she says softly.

I look in her eyes.

"we don't know that he has Casey, but I promise I will find Casey for you. You cannot freak out on me okay."

I'm way past freaking out here. This is full blown panic. I keep trying to remind myself that I'm overreacting probably, but this guy broke into our home trashed it, tried to kill me and left a disturbing gift and note for Casey. It's so hard not to think worst case scenario. What if he followed Casey? I wasn't there when she needed me. I didn't listen when she told me who she was with, so I don't even know who was suppose to meet her. Wherever she is right now good or bad she should be in my arms in bed so I can keep her safe and warm and cuddle her and remind her how much I love her.

She opens the letter. She asks if I want to read it. I don't want to, but if I want to find Casey maybe I need to.

Dear Alex,

I'm sorry, but I do not love you. I never did I was confused, and things will be alot better if you forget about me and don't look for me. I have someone I really can love and I was only pretending with you. I'm going somewhere better where I'll be taken well care of by the person I truly love. Take your ring back. I don't want to see you again.

Casey

This isn't her hand writing. I know her handwriting and this isn't it. It's chicken scratch and looks rushed. Either way she'd never say something like that to me. She loves me. Casey loves me there never was anyone else so this is a bunch of crap and it's him.

"that's him. He told Casey he couldn't wait for her to stop pretending. He wrote that letter Olivia. We need to put a missing persons report out and track him down, track her cell calls, and find where she was-" I start rambling.

"Alex you are her fiancée in this not an ADA I want you to be Alex not ADA Cabot in this."

"I want to find her." I state.

"is there any place I can take you while I look?" she asks.

"With you Liv I'm looking with you she needs me. She could be hurt or scared."

"I can't let you do that Alex. He's a stalker and if he knows you're looking that could create a lot of problems and put Casey in more danger if in fact she is in any to begin with."

"I don't care. I want to find my Casey. She needs me, not you." I yell at her.

"I understand you want to find her, and I'm going to find her, but if he knows you're looking too then he might hurt her. I'm not going to risk that and I don't think you want to risk that either."

She's right he hates me. He tried to kill me. What if he tries to hurt Casey because of me?

"now I'm going to put out a report and get some people together to look for her and track him down. Now is there any place you can go for right now?"

"her aunt and uncle I- I guess I can go there."

She has an officer take me there and I'm breaking apart. Every second I'm not with Casey I'm falling apart bit by bit.

When I tell them they're going to hate me. I couldn't protect her. The one thing I promised her I'd always do and I couldn't protect 're going to hate me so much and never let me marry here or ever be near her again.

I apologize over and over again to Cathy and Barry. They try to calm me down but I can't calm down. I'm terrified that he's going to hurt her. I can't let my mind go there, but it keeps going there and I can't stop it.

Why her? Why did he have to become set on Casey? How did he find her? When was that moment that he saw her and wanted her? Were we at dinner, on a case maybe, a regular at her softball games? How did he find us and what makes him so fixated on Casey.

I wish so badly that I could go back to that moment he saw Casey first and just stop him from seeing her and thinking about her. To keep this whole mess from happening.

She's my strong beautiful smart Casey and she loves me. I have to keep reminding myself that. God why wasn't I there for her. I just had to go and get the on sale items. I was out shopping or asleep when he was near took her ring from her and left it behind and forged a note in her name. I could kill him right now.

The three of us keep waiting for a phone call. Any news, good news. That she's safe and sound.

I'm praying that this is all a nightmare. I've never been religious or prayed in my life but I am praying now that this is either a nightmare or that Casey is unharmed and on her way home and this is just some sick joke or my mind playing tricks on me. That she and her friend got drunk and went back to the friends house. She could've done that. Gotten a taxi home, and then some drunk thought it'd be fun to take our car for a joy ride then dumped it. My mind only lets me pretend for a few seconds before reality sets back in reminding me that there was an awful note, and said everything that Eric O'Neal had said in his letter. No street thug would know that much about us, or even bother.

I keep remembering the last kiss I gave her. She was all cute cuddled up in bed her hair messy from having just woken up. God, she's so cute when she wakes up. She does that cute little yawn and her eyes are so shiney even though she just woke up. Even when she's grumpy from having to wake up early. I wish I had just jumped back in bed with her and we'd blown off our plans and just been together. I want so badly to be in bed holding her tightly kissing her lips and telling her over and over again that I love her more than life itself.

"she's a strong girl Alex. She's going to come home." Barry says with his arm around me.

I know she's strong she's so strong. The strongest person I know, but I'm not underestimating this guy. I've done it too many times already and I wound up in a coma.

"I'm sorry I know she is."

I wipe my teary eyes.

"and so are you." he says.

"but you're allowed to be scared too." he adds.

I don't want to be scared. I don't care if I'm allowed or not. I need to be strong for Casey right now.

"it's okay to be scared." he reminds me once more.

I don't like being scared, not like this. This isn't normal scared, this is utter terror. I can't lose Casey. She's my whole world, my everything.

"Casey needs to come home." I whisper.

"and she will. She loves you and she's going to run through that door, you two will get married and be so happy together."

I smile thinking about marrying Casey and living happily ever after.

"this man isn't going to stop that from happening." he assures me.

Please don't let it. I don't want this to make Casey think twice about marrying me.

After a few hours I've become too anxious waiting for an update, so I call Olivia needing some answers.

"did you find anything? Where is she?" I ask frantically before she can ever say hi.

"right now I'm tracking down who she was suppose to meet. I'll talk to her and then see what else I can find. I'm going to find her Alex."

I keep waiting and waiting for Casey to call me and tell me she's fine. I lay on their couch scrolling through my pictures. I need to see Casey's smile right now. There she is smiling and happy in my phone. Me kissing her cheek making her blush. Another I took of her during her softball game. I couldn't help taking a picture of her all cute in her uniform. The picture of us cuddled up one lazy weekend in bed causes me to cry. That was suppose to be us right now. Wrapped in each others arms tuning out the world and getting lost in each others eyes.

My phone buzzes and that cute adorable icon of her comes up with her name. For a second I forget what's going on. Then I remember and my heart lifts. She's okay. I sit up quickly and answer it.

"Casey. Casey. Baby. Casey." I say panicked.

There's silence.

"Casey baby it's me where are you? Casey?"

A laugh comes over the phone. Not Casey's beautiful laugh. An evil cold laugh that makes my skin crawl and my stomach turn.

"oh Alex. Didn't you get Casey's letter?" the voice asks.

It's him. A man's voice. It's Eric O'Neal.

"where the hell are you? Where is she? What've you done to her?" I demand

"she made it perfectly clear that she doesn't want you anymore."

Cathy and Barry both come running in the room.

I want to scream at him and jump through this phone and kick him in the throat.

"you son of a bitch you give her back and I'll make sure you die quickly." I growl at him.

He laughs at me. He's laughing at me. I could kill this man right now with my bare hands, and he's laughing at me.

"you can send all the cops in New York after me, hell get the Feds involved for all I care. Casey wants me and that wont change. Nothing can change love."

"I swear if you harm her in any way I will-" I threaten.

"you'll do what? You and I both know that you couldn't protect her Alex. God, why do you insist on pretending like you're able to protect and do right by her? Let her be with me the one she truly loves."

"she doesn't love you. She'll never love you."

"well she doesn't love you. You looked like an absolute fool on your knee proposing. Like anyone believes that you love her."

Anger boils from within me and I'm ready to explode on this man. He was there in Casey's moment watching her.

"let me talk to her." I take the anger out of my voice.

I need to hear her and let her know that I love her and I'm going to find her and hold her so tight in my arms when I do and never let her go. She needs me right now. She's probably scared and upset and I don't want her to be scared, upset or with him. I want to make it all better, to make all the bad things go away and have it be just us.

"she doesn't want to talk to you."

I try to suppress my crying. I don't want him to know I'm crying and perceive me as weak. I know she wants to talk to me.

"yes she does. She loves me very much. That's why she wants to marry me and that's why I know she does want to talk to me." I yell at him unable to hold it back.

"if she loves you so much then why have we shared such a wonderful night together? She was begging for more."

He laughs and hangs up the line.

I go right back to hyperventilating. He hurt her. He hurt my Casey. Put his hands on her and took her away from me against her will. She doesn't love him, she loves me. She told me. She wants to marry me. She's my fiancée and my best friend. She loves me more than anything in the world and there's no way in hell that she loves that crazy psychotic man. Why is this happening to my Casey? He has my Casey. I knew this, but he just made it so much more real by calling me.

His words keep ringing in my ears. I've never felt so out of control of something ever in my life. It's like I'm drowning and I can't even catch a breath of air.

I call Olivia and tell her of the event and she assures me she's on it.

"I want to look." I tell her.

"Alex no. You cannot."

Why not? I feel like a sitting duck here. Casey is out there somewhere hurt and scared.I am here just waiting like a useless piece of garbage. I should be out there doing something to find her, not sitting here. What kind of fiancée am I? Casey has been missing 24 hours now and I'm just sitting here. I should be trying to find her, tearing apart the entire world just to get to her and save her.

Screw what Olivia said I'm not doing this. I'm going to go find my Casey.

I put my jacket on, but Barry stands in front of the front door.

"Alex you can't go out there." Barry says.

Apparently I've been voicing my thoughts the entire time.

"I have to she needs me."

"you need to let your cop friend handle this."

"what if I can look somewhere she doesn't know? What if I remember something?"

"I would love nothing more than to grab my rifle, go out there myself and find that son of a bitch and bring her home, but I would never want to let my anger and frustration put her in danger. I know you don't want that either."

I shake my head.

"I don't want her in danger I want her at home with me. I'm so sorry."

It feels like I should have known something was wrong sooner. That I could have protected her from Eric O'Neil if only I had been there or something.

It starts getting to the 36 hour mark since I last saw my beautiful Casey. Since I last kissed her lips and told her I love her. It's been 6 hours since that son of a bitch had the nerve to call my phone. The only good thing that came out of that was that Olivia could use the call to track where they might be. She didn't tell me where the signal came from though. She knew if she did that I would be driving there as fast as I could to hunt him down and save Casey. I wish I could help find her, because I want to be there for her. I don't want her to ever be sad and scared, and right now she is and there's nothing I can do to fix it.