Dean lost himself in the motions of resuscitation. He raged inside his head. Raged at Crowley for dragging them into this. At Cas for doing whatever he had done without them. He told Dean to be safe but he went out and tried to get himself killed. His anger grew as another minute passed and Cas showed no sign of stirring. With a cry of pain and rage, Dean continued CPR. He leaned down and pressed his mouth against Cas's trying to give him air. A distant call prodded at the edge of his mind as he closed his eyes and willed Cas to life.
The call for "cut" sounded again but it was Misha's voice that startled Jensen out of character. He focused his gaze as Misha called his name again. Misha had Jensen's wrists in a firm grasp and was holding himself up by his forearms. Jensen swallowed away the lump in his throat and sat back on his knees. Misha gently released one of his clenched fists in order to touch Jensen's face as he sat up with him. Jensen couldn't breathe, or reply. He stared at Misha, his eyes darting across his beaten face.
"Are you okay? Misha said softly as a hand appeared on Jensen's shoulder. He didn't need to look to know it was Jared. He shook his head and quickly pushed himself to his feet before hurrying from the room. Arguing began behind him but he blocked it out as he hurried away.
Misha caught up with him as Jensen reached the exit of the building. A strong grip on Jensen's arm slowed him, but he didn't stop walking until he felt the sun on his face. He took several steadying breaths as he focused on the sun, wishing the breeze wasn't pushing away its heat.
Misha stood closely by, his hand on Jensen's arm. They stood in silence for a while before Jensen was able to turn around and face him. His heart stuttered at the sight, even though he knew it was just special effects. It always bothered him when Jared or Misha were done up to look like shit.
"I- I can't." Jensen shook his head. "I wasn't expecting this. You play dead too damn well. Fuckin' hell, Misha." He took another breath. "I got so lost in Dean. He was panicking and I just went along with it. It seemed so real."
"It's alright, Jensen." Misha said, stepping closer. "Besides, this isn't how Cas dies. I know how he goes out now."
"They told you?" Jensen looked up, but Misha wasn't watching him. Misha nodded and changed the topic.
"You didn't even give them a chance to bring in the dummy to resuscitate." Misha rubbed at his chest with one of his hands. "I'm just glad you didn't break one of my ribs. Kinda lost you for a minute there." Jensen's eyes widened.
"I'm sorry." Jensen looked at Misha's chest, as if there would be more wounds, but real. "Are you okay?"
"I'm fine." Misha assured him. "Are you okay to finish the scene?"
Jensen let the topic of Cas's death go; knowing Misha would tell him when he was ready. "Yeah just give me a minute to clear my head. I'll be right in."
Misha stared at Jensen for a moment before nodding and turning back for the building. After he was inside Jensen let out the trembling breath he had been holding in. He's fine. It's fine. You're fine. He closed his eyes as clouds moved to cover the sun, making him shiver.
Dean jumped when Cas took a gasping breath before he lashed out at him and Sam with an angel blade that suddenly appeared. They jumped back as Cas rolled over, coughing wetly. He glared around him before settling his gaze on Dean. His eyes widened and he looked around frantically again.
"Dean?" He called out. "How, no…why am I here!" Dean scooted closer and gathered the angel in his arms, trying to keep him calm.
"It's me buddy. Are you okay? What the hell happened?"
"I…I got the Princes off of your trail. Hopefully for good."
"Why?" Dean demanded, suddenly angry. "Why wouldn't you have us help you? It's our choices that led to them after us. We can handle them, man."
Cas looked up, his one eye pleading. "You can't though. Not this time."
"That's what I was trying to tell you, Dean." Sam cut in. "There's too many of them now. They've turned everyone away from us. They're winning, man."
"That's bullshit, Sammy." Dean snapped. "They don't get to beat one of us to a bloody pulp and live." He looked down as Cas went slack in his arms again, this time still breathing but no longer conscious. "Not on my watch." He murmured.
The call for cut sounded and Jensen shook his head, trying to release the emotions he knew he didn't need. Misha opened his eye and reached over to gently grasp Jensen's wrist. "Still okay?" He asked softly. Jensen nodded and stood before pulling Misha to his feet.
Misha rubbed at his chest again before grimacing at the fake blood making his shirt stick to him. Jensen closed his eyes and tried to forget the sight. Misha's hand on his arm made him look a moment later though.
"I need to go get ready for my next scene. See you tonight if I don't see you before?"
Jensen nodded and bent his wrist so he could squeeze Misha's hand. He watched Misha leave set as the crew began cleaning up. He sighed and went towards the exit to clear his mind again. As he left the building, he looked up for the sun but it was hidden behind heavy clouds. Jensen sighed and walked around until he was called back in for more scenes.