In a quiet little room

On a quiet little street

Lies a tired out writer

Fast Asleep.

In this quiet little room

Near a quiet little hall

Are two flags - gold red black white

On the wall.

With its decorations quaint

In this warm and cozy space

Stands something that should not be

Out of place.

With his heavy wool tan coat

And his creepy childish smile

This invader stops and stares

For a while.

An Aura terrifying

Plus that smile bodes not well

Causes the author to wake

"WHAT THE HELL?"

With his creepy 'Kol Kol Kol'

And his twisted little grin

"Your window was unlocked, да?

I came in."

With a quickly yelled "OH SHIT!"

And the dodging of a swipe

They play tag for a moment

With a PIPE!

It was only a short time

Less than a minute or two

The writer was at last caught

"I got you!"

"You're supposed to be writing

and this I'm sorry to say

You've not at all been doing

many days."

Then Russia scowled - so not good!

"I can not make the world one

if your story does not get

quickly done

"People need to understand

the language of their new home"

By now the author started to

slightly foam.

"Am I grabbing you too hard?

No need to make you queasy.

I decided to take pity

Make it easy

"You will come to live with me!

Until the story is done!

When everyone knows Russian

WE'LL BE ONE"

Goodbye walls with the two flags

I won't be seeing you soon

Evil Russia kidnapped me

From my Room.

I'm off to write fan fiction

Unless a HERO saves me

Actually, forget that

I'm happy.

"And this poem was written with absolutely no coercion да! I asked nicely and dear author came up with it. Now that she has been given a little 'inspiration' the story can continue!"

Last time:

"Oh God! NO! NOOO!"

"Run! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES-"

Oh. Sorry. Preview.

"Alright. I think we can work on words now."

The class looked relieved.

Small wonder, they had spent nearly a half-hour saying simple greetings to each other to get the hang of the language after England had started gagging in class. Russia wanted to call a break but quickly realized that no one would come back if he did that. Seeing their anticipation, Russia smiled.

"Alright. Now this part is actually going to be fairly easy. You are essentially going to be speaking English words. But - you will be speaking them with a Russian accent!"

"Dude! I rock at this game!"

Russia stared, and then continued. "Eh...anyway, we will be studying words that sound and look similar to their English counterparts. I will spell out a word in Russian, and you will sound it out and guess the word. Easy, да?"

The class nodded. Readying a piece of chalk, Russia began to write the first word.

А Т О М

"When I call on you, spell out the word and then say the word. You should be able to guess the English equivalent."

"What? It's already in English!" Alfred complained. Ivan laughed.

"Нет. It is certainly in Russian. So what does it say?"

The other nation sat staring at the foreign / not foreign word wondering why that sirelec language had to keep messing with his mind, man.

Seeing a small flailing hand out of the corner of his eye, Ivan called on Peter who was nearly falling out of his chair. As he pointed to him the boy smiled. "I know this one! - Atom!"

"Very good Peter! That is correct!" Ivan praised the small nation. A slightly strained look came over England's face for just a split second before it vanished and was replaced with one of mock indifference.

Alfred jumped to his feet. "I call bullshit! That WAS English!"

In the next moment Alfred was forced to dodge a brick.

"What the hell? Did that just come from behind your desk?"

Ivan tossed another red projectile in his hand lightly, a confident smirk on his face. "You see, Alfred. I realized that chalk was not quite...solid...enough to do the job. So I upgraded. Please, you were saying?"

"Uh...nothing man. Nope. Just...kinda confused, that's all."

"That is not anything unusual. Please take your seat Amerika."

Alfred did so, and added a few feet of 'security zone' between him and his homicidal teacher.

"Move closer please."

"Hells to the no."

Ivan sighed; this was giving him a headache..."Alright. You may sit there for today as I do not think you could possibly be MORE annoying seated there than up here. Anyway, I will choose another word that you can spell out."

К И Л О

"Okay...Let us see..." Russia mused before he pointed at the most likely student to know.

"But I just went..." Lithuania sighed. "Maybe someone else should try?"

"But I like my little Litva."

"But..."

"Go on." Russia added in an encouraging - but not encouraging because it really meant he'd bludgeon you to within an inch of your life if you just didn't do it - look.

"Yes! Um. Of course! It' O. Kilo, as in Kiloliter."

Their teacher nodded. "Good! Everyone got it? Now, next word. And I'll give you a hint- our little Lithuania has already said it!"

Л И Т Р

"Canada?" Russia asked politely (for realz) this time. His friend only glared at Alfred a moment before smiling shyly.

"Okay." He spoke. No one heard but pretended to anyway.

"I think it's...L...I... I...T R. So what does 'Litr' spell? OH Liter!"

"Very good!" Russia praised him.

Gilbert gave a smirk. "Duh. The kids smart."

The other members of the class stared blankly, having not heard a thing.

"Next one!" Russia declared with a wide grin. "You're all doing so well with this! Prussia, you will be next!"

The albino snorted. "Just don't make it some totally not-awesome monstrosity of a Russian word. I've seen how long some of those things get."

"Any longer than German?" Ivan commented offhandedly, knowing full well how tedious German compounds could get.

For a moment Gilbert looked like he wanted to argue, then suddenly he burst out into a big grin.

"Nope. Nothings longer than a German."

Matthew snorted, reactively backhanding Gilbert in the shoulder. Gilbert only 'kese'd happily.

Francis sighed with a smirk. "Or so you tell yourself at night."

"Shut it Francy-pants. You know I'm awesome."

"I'm more interested in that brother of yours."

"You know the rule - no siblings or love interests."

Ivan stared out at the class, a little confused. He'd expected Gilbert to argue with him. Why had he agreed? Just another oddity of these Western Europeans. With a shrug Ivan tuned out most of the conversation and wrote the next word on the board.

К - О - М - Е - Т - А

Finishing, Russia looked over the class. "Who wants to spell this word?"

Eventually Nikolai raised his hand. "K O M YE T A. Komyeta or 'Comet'. At least from what I remember."

"Wonderful!" Russia cooed, smiling proudly at his son. "You do remember Russian!"

"You could say it's all coming back to me." Nikolai mumbled and a series of concerned and unhappy expressions crossed the faces of the Baltic's and Gilberts faces.

Just thinking the same thing...

"Great!" Ivan continued as he wrote the next word - not seeing Alfred raise his hand.

It didn't matter, America spoke anyway. "So teach-"

The chalk screeched a moment.

"Why are all these words, like, astro...space words?" Alfred questioned, sucking at his cola even though it was obviously long gone and he was just pulling water and ice out of the bottom making an annoying slurping sound.

Russia grit his teeth but smiled nonetheless. "They are the words that are most similar to your English ones because they were borrowed from English."

"YOU STOLE ENGLISH!"

"I borrow-"

Alfred scoffed. "Yeah. Whatever. Stole our words huh?"

"Kolkolkokolkolkol..."

"Face it; you're just used to training spies. What will we be learning next - how to meet up with an agent in Moscow?"

Russia snorted. "You will not be learning that of course. That is next semester."

The class stared.

"In any case, the next word- spell it out as a class please and then pronounce it."

С - П - У - Т - Н - И - К

"Sp..." Canada started.

England picked up right after him. "S..T? I forgot what that one next to it is."

"That would be an 'P' Angleterre. Perhaps I can tutor you after class?"

"Piss off! Hm... N. I. K. What?"

Prussia snorted. "Dudes...its S. P. OO. T. N. I. K. Got it already? Geez."

Russia nodded. "That is correct. Now who can pronounce it? And America don't you dare say it like -."

"SPUTNIK!"

He was immediately bricked.

Alfred sighed.

In his opinion that was possibly the worst class ever. Sure there were a few other days when he'd engaged in mortal combat with the frost bear - but this time something worse had happened.

He had homework.

"Ahahaha~" Alfred whined from his seat. "I hate homewooooooooooooooooork!"

Arthur shook his head. "It's far from the end of the world you know. Use it as an opportunity to learn Russian. You realize that the sooner you learn it the quicker you can be done with the class."

Alfred opened his eye, tempted at the thought.

"Studying requires effort."

"It's hopeless." The American groaned, leaning back in his desk. Most of the students had already departed - leaving Alfred, Arthur, Matthew and Prussia in the room.

A few minutes later and they had filed out into the parking lot.

Seeing Alfred's dejected face Arthur invited him out for a drink.

Prussia invited himself along, argued with Arthur for nearly ten minutes and invited Canada by proxy (who only shook his head as he looked at Kumajiiro). Alaska was called by America who proceeded to ask him out in the loudest way possible - causing Latvia to overhear. Alaska and the three Baltic's then changed their plans of dinner out to meet up with America, England, Canada, and Prussia.

France arrived after stalking England to the bar, calling Spain on the way.

Approximately ten minutes later Russia arrived after stalking Alaska.

Authors Note:

OMG. It's been waaay too long since I've updated this hasn't it. I mean a real update with them in class. Jeez.

Anyway, there it is. And the thing about learning all of the technological stuff - yeah. We totally did that in my Russian class. In fact, we had no less than three "meet with a fellow secret agent" scenarios last year. Lol.

Question Answer TIMEZ

1) Yes, the lady at the bakery actually thought I wanted a Nazi cake. T.T I'm so misunderstood...just because I'm from a German family and like red black and white and have a strange fascination for black uniforms and ...I'm digging my grave deeper aren't I?

Damn it...

If I'd been there in person it would have been a stupidly laughable assumption - yeah, my short, dark haired-dark eyed, half- black butt wants a Nazi cake...sure. Yeah.

2) France needs to actually speak the language in order to ...speak it. As he refuses to speak anything other than French his turn should be a hoot...kese...Good luck telling that to Ivan. *spoiler*

3) And to help with pronunciation I found a site that may / may not be useful to those who want to follow along. I'm sure it's not how my teacher would speak it but whatever.

www. russianlessons

The usual drill, close out the gaps. It does ingrain in the brain better if you hear it.

Glossary

АТОМ : Atom

КИЛО : Kilo

ЛИТР : (Litr) Liter

КОМЕТА : (Kometa) or Comet

СПУТНИК: (Spootnik) Sputnik (note, this does not rhyme with hut or but or any other such words. It's a double 'oo' as in boot, remember? Yeah...that's why America got bricked.

In any case, I hope everyone is doing well with the veritable shit-storm of catastrophes we've been having lately.

(And I thought General Winter PMS'ing was bad enough...)

Russia: Do not mention-

WINTER: ИВАН!

Russia: RUN

Gotta go! Thanks for reading!

/ re: edited because word processors eat words. NOW it makes as much sense as it ever will. XD