Disclaimer – I do not own Glee
Hello dear readers, as always thank you for reading/reviewing. This chapter predominantly focuses on the Kurtbastian friendship. Also, typing with one hand is hard.
Chapter 24
Puck and Dave were seated together on Artie's couch, an Xbox control pad in each of their hands as they played a computer game. Sam, Finn and Mike were also with them. It was a Saturday and earlier that week Artie had declared a 'dude's day' at his place. Somehow, Finn had managed to convince Rachel to let him attend. Artie had invited Kurt but he turned down the offer. He didn't really enjoy computer games anyway, and with Puck and Dave both going he knew Sebastian would be lonely. So instead of computer games, Kurt dragged Sebastian to the mall with him where they met up with Tina and Mercedes.
"This is hell," Sebastian commented to Kurt as the two girls led them into Claire's. "Seriously, Kurt, somebody has murdered me because they were jealous over how gorgeous I am, thinking about it I guess it was probably you," he joked with a smirk. "I am just so devastatingly handsome that your gay little face couldn't handle it. So you pretended to befriend me, then you betrayed me, then you killed me and now I am in hell. I bet five dollars that the Asian girl is Satan."
"Her name is Tina," Kurt said pointedly. "And don't be such a drama-queen. You're not in hell and I probably won't ever murder you. But if I ever do it would totally be because you really really deserved it."
"Well sweet innocent friend of mine," Sebastian replied coiling an arm around Kurt's shoulders. "If you do decide to murder me, just be nice enough to avoid ruining my pretty face. I've plans for an open-casket funeral."
"Morbid much," Kurt commented and Sebastian just grinned before looking across the shop to where Mercedes and Tina were browsing an array of bracelets.
"How long are they going to take in here?" Sebastian asked with an impatient sigh.
"They both love their accessories but they are both really indecisive," Kurt answered. "They're going to take a while."
"Damn it, I'm bored," Sebastian complained.
"So look around," Kurt suggested. "Buy something maybe," he shrugged as he himself looked at a collection of fashion belts and scarves.
"Just because you like wearing girly things doesn't mean all of us cock-suckers do," Sebastian replied, his words earning an appalled look from a young girls mother. "Problem?" Sebastian asked looking to her with a quirked eyebrow.
"Sebastian," Kurt reprimanded hitting the boy on the arm. "I'm sorry," he apologised to the mother and daughter but the woman just scoffed and led the young girl away. "You're an embarrassment, I can't take you anywhere."
"Oh that woman was just in a foul mood because she's probably going through the menopause," Sebastian stated and Kurt rolled his eyes. "How much longer now?" he huffed.
"They're going to be a while longer yet," Kurt answered looking to where Tina was debating over nail polish colours and Mercedes was examining fake hair pieces and headbands.
"Fuck," Sebastian swore in agitation. "Can we just ditch them and meet them somewhere else?"
"Bas, they're my friends, don't be so rude," Kurt told him.
"Well I've had enough," Sebastian said. "This girly shop makes my asshole twitch, and not in a kinky I'd love Dave to fuck me way. I'm waiting outside."
"Fine," Kurt called after him for moving further into the shop to help the girls choose their items. He also browsed the bracelets and soon he was debating a purchase himself.
XXX
"Finally," Sebastian sighed when Kurt, Mercedes and Tina eventually emerged from the shop. "Are we done now?"
"Sorry, White Boy, but the shopping has only just begun," Mercedes told him and the Warbler's face dropped in horror.
"We need to look in at least three different clothes stores and then we have to go and look at shoes," Tina added.
"And my nails really need to stop for a manicure," Mercedes said as she looked at her fingers.
"I really want to get a new jacket or something," Kurt chipped in.
"Can I go home?" Sebastian asked.
"No," Kurt told him.
"Come on, Princess, this shopping stuff really isn't my thing," Sebastian pleaded. "I am bored out of my mind here. And your girlfriends totally don't like me even though Asian girl keeps checking out my ass."
"My name is Tina," Tina stated pointedly sending him a glare. "And I am not checking out your ass," she lied.
"Ok, ok, lets all go and get our nails done and then we can stop for lunch before we continue shopping," Kurt planned.
"You seriously expect me to get my nails done?" Sebastian asked as he trailed along beside the three McKinley students.
"Trust me, it'll relax you," Kurt responded.
"Bullshit," Sebastian sneered.
XXX
The group of four stepped out of the nail salon admiring their freshly done nails.
"Wow, that actually was kind of nice," Sebastian admitted and Kurt smiled triumphantly. "If you dare tell my boyfriend I got a manicure I will make your life insufferable," he warned.
"You don't have to worry about me telling Dave your secrets," Kurt assured him. "But you probably do have to worry about the girls," he added. "Tina and Mercedes are the two biggest gossip queens McKinley has ever had."
The two girls smiled evilly at him before the four argued over what to have for lunch.
XXX
"Hell yeah!" Puck cried out in triumph as he successfully beat Sam at the computer game they were playing. "Suck my dick, Evans!"
"I'll leave that to Kurt," Sam laughed in response.
"Hey," Finn complained nudging Sam with his foot. "That's my brother you're talking about."
"I've often imagined that Kurt would have mind-blowing oral technique," Artie commented casually and the other boys stared at him. "What?" Artie asked as he readjusted his glasses.
"Dude, you sounded so gay," Puck told him and the boys all turned to stare at Puck instead. "What?"
"So… what is the deal with you and Kurt?" Mike asked curiously.
"We're boyfriends," Puck answered handing the control pad to Artie while Sam passed his to Dave.
"But what exactly do you mean by 'boyfriends'?" Mike questioned. "Is it just a close friendship like Joey and Chandler from 'Friends' or is there sex involved like Mickey and Ian from 'Shameless'?"
"Can we not talk about my brother's sex life?" Finn asked.
"Don't be such a girl, Hudson," Puck remarked. "And Kurt's my boyfriend," he answered Mike. "We're dating, we hold hands, we make-out and apparently I have to have a Friday night dinner with his family at least once a month."
"Have you guys had sex?" Sam asked.
"Not yet," Puck admitted looking a little shy. "But I want to, really bad."
"So why Kurt?" Mike asked.
"What do you mean?" Puck sent the dancer a look of confusion.
"Well, dude, you're Noah Puckerman," Mike pointed out. "You are the embodiment of boys' locker room talk legends."
"True that," Artie agreed.
"Every girl wanted to drop their panties for you and every guy wanted to be you," Mike said. "You slept with every girl on the cheerleading squad in your freshman year, that's like every boy's fantasy and you actually did it."
"Yeah, man, you slept with all the girls as well as their hot looking mums," Artie said a touch enviously. "I always thought it would take a really special girl to win your heart. Personally I thought it was Quinn and I was sure you two would end up together in the end. But now you've gone from nailing all the pussy in Lima to dating Kurt. That's some serious life-changing stuff, bro."
"Not really," Puck shrugged. "Just forget about all the girls and mums I slept with. Think about the girls I dated. You've got Rachel who I only dated to try and make Quinn jealous while she was trying to make Finn jealous. Then there's Mercedes who I dated so I wouldn't get thrown in a dumpster. Then there's Quinn, Lauren and I guess I sort of nearly dated Rachel's mum."
"Dude, that's just messed up," Finn said.
"Dude, that's awesome," Sam declared raising his hand for a high-five.
"Look, I really cared about all three of them," Puck continued. "It wasn't just about sex. Don't get me wrong, I wanted sex, but I wanted all the other stuff too. I wanted it all. The only difference between those girls and Kurt is that Kurt actually wants and cares about me too."
"That's nice, man," Finn said. "You know, with Rachel, what I really love is that…"
"Nobody cares about you and Rachel, dude," Dave interjected.
"He's right," Artie agreed. "Finchel is so two years ago."
"Now its all about PucKurt," Puck grinned. "Let's face it, me and my boy Kurt are like the hottest bitches in this town."
"I have better abs," Mike boasted.
"I have a totally hot totally gay private school boy," Dave stated proudly.
"I have my right hand," Sam said.
"I so need to get laid," Artie sighed.
"Becky likes you," Finn sniggered, yelping when Artie launched a cushion at his head in retaliation.
XXX
After a too long day of shopping, Sebastian was driving Tina and Mercedes home, Kurt beside him in the passenger seat. The three public school goers were singing loudly to Britney Spears and if it weren't for Dave's situation Sebastian would probably make a sarcastic comment about how their screeching made him want to kill himself.
"Do you have to make so much noise?" Sebastian asked through gritted teeth as he stopped at a traffic light and they giggled loudly in response. "You hyenas are giving me a headache."
"If you were one of the seven dwarves you would so totally be grumpy," Kurt teased.
"Don't make me throw you out the car," Sebastian warned playfully.
"You'd never do that, Bas, you'd miss me too much," Kurt stated smugly.
"Fuck you, Princess," Sebastian mumbled.
"I believe that is Puck's job," Tina commented with a wide grin. "Assuming he hasn't already."
"No, Noah and I haven't reached that stage yet," Kurt told her.
XXX
After dropping the girls off, Sebastian drove himself and Kurt to the Lima Bean for a much needed cup of coffee.
"Seriously, Princess, you can't out me through an ordeal like that again," Sebastian said.
"Don't pretend you didn't enjoy yourself just a little bit," Kurt replied as they joined the queue together.
"I hated every second," Sebastian insisted. "Next time you invite me to the mall I will have to be more forceful when I decline. You can run around the girly shops with your girlfriends and I'll just stay home and reacquaint myself with my favourite dildo."
"Is it weird that I'm starting to find your vulgar comments endearing?" Kurt asked.
"Did I mention that I named my favourite dildo 'Kurt'?" Sebastian winked.
"Seriously, you named a sex toy after me?" Kurt asked with a roll of his eyes.
"Maybe I did, maybe I didn't," Sebastian replied mysteriously and Kurt genuinely had no idea if there was any truth in the boy's words or not.
"Well, I suppose you naming such an item after me is flattering and in some way appropriate," Kurt commented.
"Appropriate… how so?" Sebastian enquired.
"I name all my number two's after you," Kurt smirked.
"Charming," Sebastian laughed before the lady at the counter asked for their order.
"Anyway," Kurt said when they sat down together with their coffees. "I hope you don't mind but I bought you a little something in Claire's when you were waiting outside for us."
"How touching," Sebastian responded. "But if its anything pink or sparkly I simply won't be able to fake gratitude and you should just keep it for yourself to spare an embarrassing situation."
"No pink, no sparkles," Kurt promised as he rifled through his shopping bags. "Um… close your eyes and hold out your hands," he said before biting nervously on his lower lip.
"It's going to be something sentimental isn't it?" Sebastian asked. "You're trying to be all cute and Kurt-like because somewhere in your head you're convinced I'm a real gay boy with real gay feelings."
"As much as I've grown to adore your meerkat face and atrocious personality, could you refrain from being yourself for just a minute?" Kurt pleaded clearly nervous about presenting the gift.
"Right, ok, lets do this," Sebastian said shutting his eyes and holding out his hands. "But don't get upset if my response isn't overly enthusiastic and I don't improvise a song and dance about it."
Quietly, Kurt dropped the gift into Sebastian's hand, anxiously awaiting Sebastian's response, concerned that maybe it was too corny and Sebastian would only laugh.
"Can I look now?" Sebastian asked and Kurt nodded before realising he couldn't be seen and verbalising his permission.
Opening his eyes, Sebastian looked down at his hands to find two simple silver bracelets. Although they surely weren't intended for men, they weren't overly effeminate either. At first, Sebastian was confused as to why Kurt would select two silver bracelets as a gift for anyone let alone him. But on closer inspection Sebastian realised that they weren't just plain silver bracelets. They were in face friendship bracelets. One piece said 'Best' and the other 'Friends'.
"You… you don't have to wear it if you don't like it," Kurt said, his eyes downcast. "I don't even know why I got them. It's really lame. I should just take them back."
"You really are gay, Princess," Sebastian replied reaching across the table to grab Kurt's wrist. Quietly, he fastened one bracelet onto Kurt's wrist before fixing the second bracelet onto his own. He then took a sip of his coffee before starting up a new conversation as though nothing had happened.
It wouldn't be until later that night when Sebastian would admire the word 'Friends' on his bracelet with a goofy smile.
To Be Continued…
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