Ok, I know it's been a long time and for that I am sorry, but I've been super busy and I haven't been staying in my own house for a while, so I couldn't have updated any sooner. This chapter is in Max. Which I know goes against my whole second chapter thing but I just realised I actually did it once already so it's not such a big deal. Thanks for everyone who reviewed. Special thanks to ruby1792 once again! She really helped me out with this chapter. Like there's a really good chance that if she hadn't helped out you wouldn't be getting this for another week maybe longer. So she deserves some serious respect! Enjoy this chapter.

Disclaimer: I do not own Maximum Ride or any of its characters. But I do own my 3 OCs and my plot. So kindly don't copy.

I woke up with a slight smile on my face. I sat for a few seconds trying to figure out why. Then I remembered. Fang was home. Fang was home and he loved me. Fang was home, he loved me and we had kissed on a beach under the moon. I sighed. Then we had come home to a very worried Iggy. Then I had managed to convince Fang to stay the night. I had said it would make the kids feel better in the morning to know he hadn't left. Really it was because I couldn't bear the idea of having to say goodbye and watch him walk away. No matter how long he'd be gone. So eventually he'd agreed. I smiled. Life was good.

I sat up and slipped out of my bed, pulling my hair out of my face. I changed into a shirt and jeans and brushed my hair. This was new. Since when did I brush my hair first thing in the morning? Since when did I wake up first thing in the morning? Since when did I wake up smiling? I smiled again. I already knew the answer. Since he came home. Suddenly I had to prove to myself that it wasn't all a dream. That he had really returned, that he had really said he loved me, that he had really kissed me, that he was really still here.

I knocked on the door between our rooms. Silence. I shook my head and knocked again. Silence. My hand was starting to shake but I tried to ignore it. I reached for the handle and slowly opened the door. Maybe he was just asleep and he hadn't heard me. I slipped into the room, almost afraid to look at the bed. My eyes had closed and I was still leaning against the door. I had to open my eyes. I almost immediately wished I hadn't. There was no one there. He was gone. My eyes flitted frantically around the room, but everything was as it had been before. I felt my knees give way from underneath me and suddenly I was kneeling on the floor. Had it really all just been a dream?

I couldn't believe it. I couldn't let myself. Because if I really believed he was gone, then I'd probably just stop bothering to breathe. My whole body was shaking now. I felt like crying but I couldn't. There was just nothing there.

I glanced at the bed and my heart wrenched. He was supposed to be there. He was supposed to be lying in that bed waiting for me to come in and wake him up. Life was supposed to be good to me for once. I was supposed to be happy. I closed my eyes. I didn't want to see his deserted room. I didn't want to see the empty bed or chair. I didn't want to realise that it was all a dream. I wanted to pretend it was real, just for a little longer. I thought about last night. I thought about Fang promising to stay. I thought about facing death. The bottom was falling out of my world and I felt dizzy. I wasn't afraid of death. Death was a natural thing. Everyone dies. I thought about facing death alone and I couldn't breathe.

Years of disappointment should have taught me never to hope, never to dream. I would always end up alone. I would always end up unhappy. I wasn't designed to be happy. It would be so much easier if I could just die now. I was going to die in two weeks anyway, why not just get it over with. It was inevitable. But something stopped me from turning back to my room and finding an easy way to commit suicide. Something Dream Fang had said to me.

Flashback

"I was afraid" he said simply.

"Of what?"

"Hurting you." he said.

"You hurt me by leaving."

"I didn't think it would." he replied sadly.

End Flashback

I had thought the flock didn't need me. What if I was wrong? What if I, like Fang, had assumed wrong? What if I killed myself and then the flock fell apart the way I had fallen apart? I could feel a headache coming on. I was kneeling on the floor in Fang's room, contemplating suicide. I was arguing with myself over whether or not to kill myself. I had to pull myself together. I opened my eyes. Bad plan. A fresh wave of grief hit me at the sight of the uninhabited bed. I felt my gut twist and my heart wrench. Dry sobs were racking my body, but I couldn't cry. I was too shocked. I was suddenly having difficulty breathing. My whole body was going into shutdown. It was over. Again. I looked at the clock over the bed. The kids had gone to school. Iggy was probably out in the shed and Fang . . . Fang was never here. Fang could be dead for all I knew. I felt my gut twist again. It would be ok to die if the kids were gone I suppose. I just wished Iggy wouldn't have to find me. I just wished Fang could have been here to look after them when I'm gone, but now that job would go to Iggy. I had wanted him to finish college. I had wanted him to become a famous chef or whatever he wanted to be. I had wanted him to live. I had wanted him to be more. I wanted all of them to be more. I wanted all of them to have more than I did. To maybe have spouses and kids and families. I wanted them to be happy. I wanted them to have what I couldn't have. Peace.

I almost laughed. I couldn't even have peace in my final moments. I closed my eyes. My body was letting me go. I wanted Fang. I wanted Fang more than anything else in the world. It still wasn't peaceful. Now I wasn't just feeling intense pain, but it was noisy too. There was yelling and someone was pulling my arms. Leave me alone. Unless you're Fang, please just leave me alone. But I know you can't be Fang, because Fang's not here. I had moved. I was lying on something soft now. They had dragged me there, whoever they were. I could feel something pumping my chest. Then there was something on my lips. Someone was holding my nose, pushing air inside me. I tried to use it, tried to breathe, but nothing was happening. My chest was pumping again and I could hear a voice I recognised telling me I had to breathe. I felt the air being pushed into me again; this time I used all my strength to pull the air, to use it. I felt it fill my lungs and my heart soared. I was going to live, just that little bit longer. My saviour started to pull away and I whimpered, but I knew I needed to breathe first. I started to breathe in heavily and my eyesight became less foggy. I could see a pair of dark brown eyes staring down angrily into mine. I knew those eyes. I knew that frown. I knew who he was instantly.

"Don't you ever do that to me again Max." he growled.

His face was drawn and he looked angry but I couldn't help it, I smiled.

He pulled back looking shocked then he resumed his frown.

"What just happened Max?" he asked.

"I- I thought you were gone." I whispered, trying to explain. "I was terrified. I don't want to die alone Fang. I can't. I thought it was a dream and you never really came back. Then my body just gave up."

His eyes were full of frustration, doubt and sadness, but the emotion that outweighed all the others was fear. I couldn't understand. Why fear? What was he afraid of?

"I love you." He said cupping my face in his hands. "I promised you I wouldn't go, so I won't go. I'm staying with you. I'm not going to leave. I won't let you die alone. I'm going to be there for you. You have to trust me. But you can't just give up. You can't collapse every time I'm not around Max. You almost died! What if I hadn't come back in time? What if I had come back to my room a few seconds too late and found the woman I love dead on the floor? You have to promise me. You have to promise me that this won't happen again."

I looked up at him. Now I understood the fear in his eyes. I nodded.

"I promise." I whispered and he kissed me. It was bliss and I forgot about everything. I forgot I had just almost died, I forgot I had two weeks to live, I forgot that my baby had been hiding her unhappiness from me. All I could think of was Fang and that he was kissing me. I gave an involuntary shiver and he smiled against my mouth. One of his hands was till cupping my face, the other was placed on the bed to keep him from falling on top of me. I wrapped my hands around his neck and tipped his balance so that he was now lying just next to me on the bed. He pulled back in surprise and stared down at me in surprise. I shrugged and he chuckled. His laugh warmed me up inside and I smiled at him. He curled his hand into my hair and smiled down at me.

"You're beautiful do you know that?" He said.

I stopped and stared at him. I knew I was, shall we say, 'attractive' otherwise I wouldn't have been bombarded by insalubrious invitations for the past four years, but no one had ever called me beautiful. More importantly Fang had never called my beautiful. Fang had never even mentioned my appearance before, aside from snide comments after my being dragged through hedges and the like. My eyes widened. Fang thought I was beautiful. He was smiling as he watched the expressions flitting across my face. Suddenly he was kissing me and I was in bliss again. All thoughts fled from my head and I kissed him back. A few minutes later we broke apart and Fang leaned his forehead on mine, his eyes closed.

He took a few breathes and then leaned back so our faces were close but not touching, he had a sad smile on his face and he ran the backs of his fingers down my cheek.

"I don't deserve you." He said softly.

"If you don't," I whispered back. "No one does."

So thanks again to ruby1792. Also maxride08 deserves a big thank you because she kept asking me when I'd get this chapter out which really pushed me to finish it. Thanks for all the reviews and sorry again that it took so long. I picked a bad time to get a social life. My severe writer's block has once again been conquered. So I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Cat