Author's note: I do not own anything having to do with Supernatural, only Leah belongs to me. Just a reminder SUPERNATURAL signifies a break in time. Please excuse any mistakes as I don't have a Beta but if anyone is interested send me a PM! As always please remember to ~Read and Review~

HUGE THANK YOU to Wondertogondor, Hanna West, jenniferwinchester12, Morgan, Mayrem, Kanafire, and la gordita for all of their wonderful reviews!

Hope you all have a Happy Thanksgiving!

Chapter 25- Secrets Revealed

"Woo listen to her purr, have you ever heard anything so sweet?" Dean asked over AC/DC's Back in Black as we flew down the highway in the newly fixed Impala.

"You know if you two want to get a room just let me know, Dean," Sam mocked him.

"Aww don't listen to him baby he doesn't understand us," Dean said soothingly as he rubbed the steering wheel.

"You're in a good mood," I commented leaning my head against the window in the backseat.

"Why shouldn't I be?" Dean questioned.

"No reason," I replied and then added silently in my head, Oh you know maybe because dad just died!

"I've got my car…we've got a case, things are looking up," Dean smiled.

"Wow, give you a couple of severed heads and a pile of dead cows and you're Mr. Sunshine," Sam teased, "What do you think it will take to make cranky this happy?"

"Ha-ha very funny," I sneered, "How far until Red Lodge?"

"About another 300 miles," Sam answered.

"Good," Dean smiled as he pressed the gas pedal down.

"Wake me when we get there," I said pulling my jacket tighter around me, closing my eyes and falling right to sleep.

I was in a field watching my dad burn on the pyre. I looked around for Sam and Dean but I was all alone. Suddenly my dad's body sat up.

"Daddy?" I asked nervously.

"It should have been you," he said walking towards me, flames dancing around his body.

"What?"

"It should have been you!" he screamed and ran right through me.

I gasped for air as I shot up in the backseat but luckily it was drowned out from Dean's music.

"Good thing you're awake, we're almost there," Dean said turning the music down.

"Freckles, you feeling ok?" Sam asked turning to look at me.

"I'm fine, why?"

"Because you're sweating, why don't you take your jacket off?" he suggested.

"Because it's cold in here," I said zipping up my jacket, granted I wasn't really cold but taking my jacket off would reveal the cuts on my arms.

Dean closed his window and put the heat on while Sam reached back to check for fever.

"Sam I'm fine," I said pushing his hand off my forehead.

"Yeah cause you have such a great track record with that," Dean scoffed.

"Well you don't feel like you have a fever, but maybe you should relax in the room while Dean and I go see what we can find out," Sam sighed.

"What? Hell no!" I exclaimed.

"Leah if you are getting sick then there is no reason to push yourself, Dean and I can handle this."

"So you fought to get me out of my room at Bobby's only to put me in a room at some motel?" I challenged, "I'm going!"

SUPERNATURAL

"Murder investigation is on going and that's all I can share with the press," the sheriff told the three of us as we sat in his office.

"Sure, sure we understand that but just for the record, you found the first…head last week correct?" Sam asked with pen and paper in his hand.

"Mmhhmm," the sheriff nodded.

"And the other…a Christina Flannigan," Sam started.

"Was two days ago," the sheriff cut him off, "Sorry boys time is up, we're done here."

"You want to rephrase that?" I asked nastily earning 'shut up' looks from both brothers.

"Sorry," he apologized.

"One last question, what about the cattle?" I asked.

"Excuse me?"

"You know the cows found dead…split open…drained…half a dozen cases, any of this ringing a bell for you gramps?" I questioned as Sam kicked me.

"What about them?"

"So you don't think there is a connection?" Sam asked quickly before I had a chance to respond.

"Connection with…"

"First cattle mutilations and now two murders kind of sounds like ritual stuff, you know like satanic ritual stuff," Sam tried and the sheriff busted out laughing.

"Something funny to you, chuckles?" I asked earning another kick from Sam.

"Those cows aren't being mutilated," the sheriff stated.

"How can you be so sure?" I questioned.

"Because there's no such thing as cattle mutilation, cow drops you leave it in the sun within 48 hours the bloat will split it open so clean it's just about surgical," he explained like we were little kids, "the bodily fluids fall down into the ground and get soaked up because that's what gravity does but hey, it could be Satan. What newspaper did you say you work for?"

"Who did you sleep with to become sheriff?" I asked in the same tone he had asked us.

"Get. Out. Of. My. Office," he growled.

"Don't get too riled up there gramps might have a heart attack," I laughed as we left his office.

Once we were outside Dean hit me in the back of the head, "What the hell was that?"

"What?" I asked.

"What?!" Sam exclaimed, "The cocky attitude that could have had us thrown in jail!"

"Oh relax," I said rolling my eyes.

SUPERNATURAL

"John," Dean nodded at the guy behind the desk of the morgue when he saw the name tag J. Manners.

"Jeff," the guy corrected him.

"Jeff, I know that," Dean laughed, "Dr. Dworkin needs to see you in his office right away."

"But Dr. Dworkin is on vacation."

"Well he's back and he's pissed and he's screaming for you," I stated walking up next to Dean, "So if I were you…"

I didn't even have to finish before he ran out of the room and Sam closed the door behind him.

"Hey those Satanists in Florida, they marked their victims, didn't they?" Dean asked.

"Yeah reversed pentacle on the forehead," I replied.

"So much fucked up crap happens in Florida," Dean mumbled as he handed Sam and I each a pair of latex gloves.

We walked into the next room and pulled out the box that had the head in it.

"Alright open it," Dean said looking at Sam.

"You open it," Sam protested.

"Pussies," I rolled my eyes and took the top off the box.

"Well no pentagram," Dean stated.

"Wow poor girl," Sam commented.

"Maybe we should look in her mouth, see if those wackos stuffed anything down her throat," I said, "You know kind of like Moth in Silence of the Lambs."

"Yeah, here go ahead," Sam said moving the box closer to me.

"No, you go ahead," I said pushing it back.

"Yeah Sam, put the lotion in the basket," Dean smirked.

"No Leah can do it," Sam said pushing it back towards me.

"No you wanted me to stay in the motel, you said you could handle this," I said pushing it back, "so handle it."

"Whatever," Sam scoffed as he stuck his fingers into the girl's mouth, "Dean, get me a bucket."

"You find something?" Dean asked.

"No, I'm going to puke."

"Wait, lift the lip up again," I told him.

"What? You want me to throw up, is that it?" Sam questioned.

"No I think I saw something," I replied pointing at her gum line, "Is that a hole?"

Sam pressed on the gum and a sharp tooth came through the hole, "It's a tooth."

"It's a fang," I corrected him, "retractable set of vampire fangs, you've got to be kidding me."

"Well, this changes things," Dean stated.

"No shit," I scoffed.

SUPERNATURAL

"How's it going?" Dean asked the bartender.

"Livin' the dream, what can I get for you?"

"Three beers, please," Dean replied.

"So, we're looking for some people," Sam started.

"Sure hard to be lonely," the bartender snickered as he handed us our drinks.

"Yeah that's not what I meant," Sam said sliding him a fifty, "so these people, they would have moved here about six months ago, probably pretty rowdy, like to drink…"

"Yeah real night owls, you know? Sleep all day, party all night," Dean added.

"Barker farm got leased out a couple months ago, real winners. They've been in here a lot…drinkers…noisy; I've had to eighty six them once or twice."

"Thanks," I smiled at him before we turned to leave the bar.

We started walking down a side street by the bar when I grabbed Sam and Dean by the arms and pulled them into an out cove.

"What are you doing?" Dean questioned.

"Shh," I said putting my finger to my lips, "We're being followed."

We waited for another second and when we saw the man both brother's pinned him to the wall while I held my knife at his throat.

"Smile," I told him.

"What?" he questioned.

"Show us those pearly whites," I said pressing my knife a little harder against his neck but not hard enough to draw blood.

"Oh, for the love of…you want to stick that thing someplace else, I'm not a vampire," he said and we all looked at him confused but none of us changed our positions, "Yeah that's right I heard you three in there."

"What do you know about vampires?" Sam questioned.

"How to kill them, now seriously call off your bitch that knife's making me itch."

"Who you calling a bitch, bloodsucker?" I sneered.

The man raised his hand up and showed us his gum line, "See…fangless, happy?...now who the hell are you?"

SUPERNATURAL

"The Winchester kids, I can't believe it, you know I met your old man once? Hell of a guy, great hunter, I heard he passed I'm sorry. It's big shoes but from what I hear you fill 'em, great trackers, good in a tight spot and you," he said pointing at me as we stood next to his car, "I heard you had a bit of a temper on you."

"You haven't seen anything yet," I smirked.

"You seem to know a lot about our family," Dean commented.

"Word travels fast you know how hunters talk."

"No, we don't actually," Dean stated.

"I guess there's a lot your dad never told you, huh?"

"Our dad taught us everything we know, including how to kill you with a bobby pin, wanna see?" I said pulling one out of my hair and taking a step closer to him.

"So…ummm…so those two vampires, they were yours?" Sam questioned as Dean grabbed my arm and pushed me behind him.

"Yep, been here two weeks."

"Did you check out that Barker farm?" Dean asked.

"It's a bust just a bunch of hippie freaks, though they could kill you with that patchouli smell alone."

"Where's the nest then?" I asked and Dean side stepped so I couldn't get around him.

"I've got this one covered, look don't get me wrong it's a real pleasure meeting you three but I've been on this thing for over a year. I killed a fang back in Austin tracked the nest all the way up here, I'll finish it."

"We could help," Dean offered.

"Thanks but I'm kind of a go-at-it alone type of guy."

"Yeah that's why you have been after them for over a year and still haven't killed all of them," I scoffed, "Come on I've been itching for a hunt."

"Thanks but hey I hear there's a Chupacabra two states over, you go ahead and knock yourselves out," he said getting into his car, "It was real good meeting you though, I'll buy you a drink on the flip side."

"We're not actually going to leave this one are we?" I asked as we watched him drive away.

"Maybe we should, it's obvious you two don't get along," Sam suggested.

"Well you and Le never get along, I say we check it out," Dean smirked as we headed for the Impala.

We followed Gordon to some old mill. By the time we found him the vampire had him pinned down by an electric saw. Sam pulled Gordon to safety while Dean attacked the vampire. Dean hit him over the head with a lead pipe before driving it through his chest pinning him down. I quickly ran the electric saw over his neck decapitating him which caused his blood to spray in my face. I turned around to see a very surprised Sam and Gordon.

"So I guess I've got to buy you that drink," Gordon laughed as Dean handed me a handkerchief to wipe my face.

SUPERNATURAL

"Here you go," the waitress smiled as she placed a round of shots on our table at the bar.

Dean reached for his wallet but Gordon stopped him, "No I insist."

"Well you know I won't object," I smiled finishing my third beer before I picked up my shot.

"Another one bites the dust," Gordon said raising his shot glass.

"That's right," I nodded clinking glasses with him and Dean before letting the liquid burn my throat as it went down.

"Leah you gave that big ass fang one hell of a haircut," Gordon laughed, "That was beautiful, absolutely beautiful."

"Guess my temper pays off, huh?" I winked at him as I got up from the table and headed for the bathroom.

Once in the bathroom the fake smile I had plastered on my face fell and I searched for comfort as I took out my knife and slid it across my arm releasing the tension in my body as I did so. I knew I should get back out to the table so I made one more quick cut, plastered on my smile and walked back out to the table.

"You alright, Sammy?" I asked sitting back down when I noticed he hadn't touched even his first beer.

"Yeah I'm fine," he stated.

"Well lighten up a little, Sammy," Gordon smiled.

"They are the only ones who can call me that," Sam said in a very monotone voice and I wanted to kick him for ruining our good time.

"Ok no offence meant, just celebrating a job well done."

"Right, well decapitations aren't my idea of a good time I guess," Sam replied.

"But the satisfaction when you cut their heads off," I said remembering back to when we went after them with our dad, "You literally hold their life in your hands and just like that they're gone."

"Now that's what I'm talking about," Gordon patted me on the shoulder before motioning to the waitress, "Another round please sweetie."

"I'm not going to bring you guys down, I'm just going to go back to the motel," Sam said getting up from his seat.

"You sure?" Dean asked.

"Yeah," Sam nodded and Dean tossed him the keys to the Impala.

"Hey Sam, remind me to beat that buzz kill out of you later," I called after him.

"Something I said?" Gordon questioned.

"No, he just gets that way sometimes," Dean sighed.

"Tell you what, I'll bet you I can drink you under the table," I turned to Gordon with a smirk on my face, "I mean we are celebrating aren't we?"

"Why little lady you have yourself a deal," Gordon smiled back as he shook my hand.

The waitress came over and placed seven shots in front of each of us.

"Don't you think you already drank enough," Dean whispered loudly to me.

"You know I can do this," I whispered back before turning my attention to Gordon, "You ready?"

"Lady's first."

I took my first shot then he took his and so on and so forth until we both finished our seventh shot.

"Well I must say that is impressive but it looks like a tie," Gordon mentioned.

"I don't tie…I win," I stated motioning for the waitress, "Six more shots."

"Alright tough girl you made your point," Dean said speaking up as the waitress placed three shots in front of me and three in front of Gordon.

"I think she's old enough to make her own decisions," Gordon said as I took my first shot.

"Yeah and I won't have her wind up with alcohol poisoning just because she is trying to prove a point," Dean replied angrily.

"These will be our last ones," I said trying to pat Dean on the arm but patted the chair instead; guess the alcohol was messing with my perception.

"Yeah I'll make sure of that," Dean said as he got up to talk to the bartender.

"So how'd you get started?" I asked Gordon.

"First time I saw a vampire I was barely eighteen, home alone with my sister I hear the window break in her room. I grab my dad's gun, run in, try to get it off her…too late. So I shoot the damn thing which of course is about as useful as snapping it with a rubber band. It rushes me, picks me up, flings me across the room, knocks me out cold when I wake up, the vampire's gone…my sister is gone…"

"And then?" I questioned like a little kid listening to a story.

"And then…try explaining that one to your family so I left home and then bummed around looking for information…how you track 'em…how you kill 'em…and I found that fang, it was my first kill."

"Sorry about your sister," I smiled sadly.

"Yeah, she was beautiful. I can still see her, you know? The way she was but hey that was a long time ago. I mean, your dad, it's got to be rough."

I looked to see Dean walking into the bathroom before I answered, "Yeah, he was just one of those guys, took some terrible beatings, just kept coming. So you're always thinking to yourself, he's indestructible. He'll always be around, nothing can kill my dad then just like that he's gone…I can't talk about this with my brothers, you know I've got to keep my game face on, I mean he was their dad too and I can't have them worrying about me when they need to be dealing with their own stuff. But the truth is I'm not handling it very well…I feel like I have this…"

"Hole inside you? And it just gets bigger and bigger and darker and darker?" Gordon questioned.

"Exactly," I replied as Dean rejoined us at the table.

"Good you can use it, keeps you hungry. Trust me, there's plenty out there that needs killing and this'll help you do it. Leah, it's not a crime to need your job."

"What are you guys talking about?" Dean asked.

"Just trading stories," I replied as I tired to block out the need to run to the bathroom again.

"You know why I love this life?" Gordon asked.

"Hmm?" Dean questioned.

"It's all black and white there's no maybe, you find the bad thing, kill it. See most people spend their lives in shades of gray. Is this right? Is that wrong? Not us."

"Not sure Sammy would agree with you," Dean said handing me a bottle of water and taking away my beer.

"Doesn't seem like your brother's much like us," Gordon commented.

"What do you mean?" I asked sipping on my water.

"I'm not saying he's wrong, just different but you and me? We were born to do this, it's in our blood."

"You know I think we had just about enough celebrating for tonight," Dean said as he got up from his chair, "Mind giving us a lift?"

"Sure thing," Gordon nodded.

SUPERNATURAL

"Well Gordy I think you managed to get me drunk," I laughed as I fell into one of the chairs in our motel room.

"Awesome," Dean mumbled as he fished out a couple of aspirin from my purse and handed them to me while Gordon laid out a map on the table.

"This is the best pattern I can establish, it's sketchy at best," he said.

"Looks like it's all coming from this side of town which means the nest would be around here someplace, right?" I asked pointing to an area on the map.

"Yep, that's what I'm thinking. Problem is there's thirty five, forty farms out there. I've searched about half of them already but nothing yet. They are covering their tracks real good."

"Then I guess we will have to search the other half," I smiled.

"What time is it…where is Sam?" Dean questioned checking his watch.

"Car's parked outside, probably went for a walk…seems like the take a walk type," Gordon commented.

"Actually that's usually this one," Dean said motioning to me as Sam walked in the door.

"Sammy!" I exclaimed excited to see him.

"Where you been?" Dean questioned.

"Can I talk to you two alone?"

"You mind hanging out for a few minutes, Gordy?" I asked and she shook his head no.

We followed Sam out into the parking lot and I stumped over the curb luckily Dean caught me in time before my face met the concrete.

"Are you drunk?" Sam questioned as he saw Dean standing me back upright.

"We were celebrating," I shrugged.

"Guys, maybe we need to rethink this hunt," Sam started.

"What are you talking about?" I asked.

"Where were you?" Dean added.

"In the nest."

"You found it?" I questioned.

"They found me."

"How did you get out?" Dean asked.

"How many did you kill?" I questioned as we walked further into the parking lot and I leaned against the Impala for support.

"None," Sam answered standing across from me.

"Well Sam they didn't just let you go!" I argued.

"That's exactly what they did," Sam said.

"Alright well, where is it?" Dean asked leaning next to me on the car.

"I was blindfolded I don't know."

"Well you've got to know something!" I exclaimed.

"We went over that bridge outside of town but guys listen maybe we shouldn't go after them."

"Why not?" Dean asked.

"I don't think they're like other vampires, I don't think they are killing people."

"You're joking, right? Then how do they stay alive or undead or whatever the hell they are?" I asked not believing what I was hearing.

"The cattle mutilations, they said they live off of animal blood."

"And you believed them?" I asked incredulously.

"Look at me Leah; they let me go without a scratch."

"I don't know why they let you go and I don't really care, we find them and we waste them," I stated.

"Why?" Sam challenged.

"What part of vampires don't you understand Sam? If it's supernatural we kill it end of story, that's our job," I argued.

"No Leah that's not our job, our job is hunting evil and if these things aren't killing people then they aren't evil," Sam protested.

"Guys…" Dean started but I cut him off.

"Of course they are killing people that's what they do, they are all the same Sam they aren't human. We have to exterminate every last one of them!"

"No Leah, I don't think so not this time."

"Guys…" Dean tried again but again I cut him off.

"Gordon's been on those vamps for a year, he knows," I said motioning back to our room.

"Gordon?" Sam questioned.

"Yeah," I nodded.

"The same guy you wanted to kill earlier and what now you're taking his word for it?" Sam asked.

"That's right, I am," I nodded again to show how serious I was.

"Ellen says he's bad news," Sam remarked.

"You called Ellen?" Dean asked.

"So what we are supposed to listen to her? We barely know her, Sam! No thanks I'll go with Gordon," I stated.

"Right, cause Gordon's such an old friend," Sam scoffed, "You don't think I can see what this is?"

"What are you talking about?" I asked.

"He's a substitute for dad, isn't he?...a poor one," Sam replied.

"Shut up, Sam," Dean warned in an eerily low voice.

"He's not even close, Leah…not on his best day," Sam continued.

"Sam enough," Dean hollered.

"I'm not even going to talk to you about this," I said as I started to walk back to the room but Sam followed.

"You know you slap on this big fake smile but I can see right through it because I know how you feel, Leah. Dad's dead and he left a hole and it hurts so bad you can't take it, but you can't just fill up that hole with whoever you want to…it's an insult to his memory."

Rage filled every fiber of me being as I turned and punched Sam square in the jaw.

"Leah!" Dean exclaimed as he stood behind me holding my arms so I couldn't hit Sam again.

"You hit me all you want, it won't change anything."

"I'm going to that nest, you don't want to tell me where it is, fine. I'll find it myself," I said shrugging Dean off and walking back into the motel room.

"Gordon?" I called out noticing he was no longer in the room.

"You think he went after them?" Sam asked as he and Dean walked into the room.

"Probably," Dean answered.

"Guys, we have to stop him," Sam pleaded.

"Really, Sam? Because I say we lend a hand," I retorted.

"Knock it off, both of you or so help me God I'm going to be the one throwing punches," Dean hollered, "Sam, give me the keys."

"He snaked them," Sam said pointing to where he left them.

We went out to the Impala and I crawled into a ball in the backseat.

"You think it's possible to be hung over if you're still drunk?" I complained but was ignored.

"I can't believe this, I just fixed her up too," Dean complained as he hotwired the car, "So the bridge is that all you got?"

"The bridge was four and a half minutes from their farm," Sam answered looking over the map Gordon had left behind.

"How do you know?" Dean questioned.

"I counted," Sam stated.

"Give me reasons you never get laid for five hundred, Alex," I scoffed.

"They took a left out of the farm, then turned right onto a dirt road, followed that for two minutes slightly up a hill, then took another quick right and we hit the bridge," Sam said sliding his finger over the route on the map.

"You're good," Dean smirked, "You're a monster pain in the ass, but you're good."

SUPERNATURAL

We walked into the farm house to see Gordon torturing one of the vampires with dead man's blood.

"Sam, Dean, Leah come on in," Gordon said once he saw us.

"Hey, Gordon, what's going on?" I questioned.

"Just poisoning Lenore here with some dead man's blood. She's going to tell us where all her little friends are, want to help?"

"Look man," Dean started as we rounded the table, Dean and I on one side and Sam on the other.

"Grab a knife I was just about to start in on the fingers," Gordon said dragging the knife across her arm.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, hey let's all just chill out, huh?" I tried.

"I'm completely chill," Gordon smiled.

"Gordon, put the knife down," Sam instructed.

"Sounds like it's Sam that needs to chill," Gordon said.

"Just step away from her, alright?" Sam asked.

"I understand wanting to kill her but there's no reason to torture her," I tried.

"You're right, I'm wasting my time here this bitch will never talk might as well put her out of her misery," he said pulling out his machete, "I just sharpened it so it's completely humane."

"Gordon I'm letting her go," Sam said stepping towards Lenore but Gordon turned the knife on Sam.

"You're not doing a damn thing," Gordon said pointing the knife at Sam's chest.

"Hey, hey, hey let's talk about this," Dean said trying to get control of the situation.

"Get your hands off my brother," I snarled taking a step closer to him.

"It's like I said Leah, no shades of gray," Gordon said earning me confused looks from both brothers.

"Yeah, I hear ya and I know how you feel…" I started.

"Do you?" Gordon questioned.

"That vampire that killed your sister deserved to die but this one…"

I was cut off by Gordon laughing, "Killed my sister? That filthy fang didn't kill my sister it turned her, it made her one of them. So I hunted her down and I killed her myself."

"You did what?" Dean asked in disbelief.

"It wasn't my sister anymore, it wasn't human. I didn't blink and neither would you," Gordon replied lowering the knife from Sam's chest.

"So you knew all along then?" Sam questioned, "You knew about the vampires, you knew they weren't killing anyone, you knew about the cattle and you just didn't care."

"Care about what? A nest of vampires suddenly acting nice? Taking a little time out from sucking innocent people? And we're supposed to buy that? Trust me it doesn't change what they are, and I can prove it," he said grabbing me by the arm.

"Let her go, now!" Dean growled as he pulled his gun on Gordon.

"Relax if I wanted to kill her she'd already be on the floor, just making a little point," he said as he rolled up my sleeve revealing the cuts on my arms, "Well it looks like you got started without me."

I avoided the shocked, concerned and angry glances I was getting from both brothers and tried to pull my arm out of his grasp. I had so many cuts on my arm it started to look like lined paper.

"No need to squirm, apparently you like this," Gordon said as he reopened one of the cuts I had made earlier in the night and turned my arm over so that the blood dripped onto Lenore's face.

"Hey!" Dean yelled as Lenore showed her teeth.

"This she's so different? Still want to save her? Look at her they're all the same…evil…bloodthirsty."

"No…No," Lenore said putting her teeth away controlling herself.

"You hear her?" I asked and he let me go, I quickly pulled my sleeve back down but I knew my secret was out.

"Sam, get her out of here," Dean said with his gun still on Gordon.

"Yeah," Sam nodded as he carefully lifted Lenore into his arms and left the farm house.

"I think we have some things we need to talk about Gordy," I said pulling out my own gun and aiming it at him.

"Get out of my way," Gordon stated.

"Sorry," I shook my head in the negative.

"You're not serious?" Gordon questioned.

"I'm having a hard time believing it too but I know what I saw and if you want those vampires you will have to get through us," I replied cocking my gun.

"See I think this is just your temper coming out because I revealed your little secret," Gordon smirked then turned his attention to Dean, "You want to know all about how sad she is that daddy is dead…how she pushes her emotions down because she thinks you two can't handle it…"

"Stop it!" I shouted.

"Too much sharing and caring, Leah?" Gordon asked.

"Leave her alone," Dean hollered.

"Then let's settle this man to man," Gordon said stabbing the knife into the table.

Dean smirked as he pulled the clip out of his gun and set it aside.

"Leah, go wait outside for Sam," Dean said not taking his eyes off of Gordon.

"Hell no, I'm not leaving you in here with him," I protested.

"I guess your bitch doesn't know how to take orders," Gordon smiled and with that Dean punched him across the face.

Gordon quickly recoiled and punched Dean back as Dean regained his balance Gordon grabbed the knife off the table and swung it at him but Dean was able to jump back in time.

"I don't think so," I said hitting Gordon in the back of the head with my gun knocking him unconscious.

Dean picked up his body and threw him in a nearby chair, Gordon just started coming too when I tied off the last knot successfully tying him to the chair.

"Come on Leah, we're on the same side here," Gordon tried.

"I don't think so you sadistic bastard," I sneered.

"You're not like your brother, you're a killer like me, I can see it in your eyes."

"She might be like you and she might not but you're the one tired up right now," Dean stated.

SUPERNATURAL

It was morning by the time Sam came back.

"Did I miss anything?" Sam asked noticing Gordon tied up, Dean pacing, and me hunched over a trash can.

"Not much," Dean replied, "Lenore get out ok?"

"Yeah all of them did," Sam answered smiling at Gordon.

"Then I guess our work here is done, how you doing Gordy? Got to tinkle yet? Alright well get comfy we'll call someone in two or three days, have them come out and untie you," Dean said as he stabbed Gordon's knife into the table.

"You guys ready to go?" Sam asked.

"You done hurling?" Dean questioned looking over to me.

"Yeah I think so," I grimaced as I stood up.

"Alright let's get out of here," Dean said turning for the door.

"Not yet," I said and walked over to where Gordon was, "I guess this is goodbye, well it's been real," I told him before punching him as hard as I could causing the chair to tip backwards, "Ok I'm good, we can go."

"I wish we never took this job, it just jacked everything up," Dean stated as we walked to the Impala.

"Yeah," I agreed.

"What do you mean?" Sam questioned.

"Think about all the hunts we went on, our whole lives," I started.

"Ok…" Sam said.

"What if we killed things that didn't deserve killing, you know? I mean the way dad raised us…" I trailed off.

"Leah, after what happened to mom, dad did the best he could," Sam said.

"I know he did, believe me I know but the way he raised us to hate those things and I do…I hate them. When I killed that vampire at the mill I didn't even think about it, hell I enjoyed it," I continued.

"You didn't kill Lenore," Dean brought up.

"No but every instinct told me to, I was going to kill her, I was going to kill them all."

"Yeah but you didn't and that's what matters," Sam said trying to reassure me as we got in the car.

We drove in silence all lost in our own thoughts listening to Metallica blaring through the speakers when Sam turned the music off and turned to look at me.

"I can't wait any longer we need to talk about what happened back there."

"I thought we already did," I replied trying to avoid the subject I knew was about to be brought up.

"That's not what I'm talking about," Sam sighed, "You told me you were dealing with dad's death…that is not dealing with it!"

"Give me your knife," Dean stated in a monotone voice with his hand out.

"What?" I asked in disbelief.

"You heard me, hand it over."

I placed the knife in his hand and went back to avoiding Sam's gaze.

"You can't do this anymore…promise me you won't do it anymore," Sam pleaded.

"Yeah," I answered softly.

SUPERNATURAL

We decided to stay in town one more night since we could all use the rest. It was the middle of the night and I could hear both brothers breathing evenly so I assumed they were sleeping. I got up and went into the bathroom closing the door as soon as I turned the light on so I wouldn't wake them. My hands shook at the need to cut myself, to release the tension building in my body. I frantically looked around the bathroom for something I could use…anything. I saw the plastic soap dish and tried to snap it in half; I worked the plastic back and forth until I finally broke it apart in two pieces. I rolled my sleeve up and scraped it across my skin but it wasn't sharp enough to draw the blood I needed so desperately to see.

"Come on, come on," I pleaded as I pressed harder and made quicker movements.

"Leah stop!" Dean yelled from the door way making me jump.

"I can't stop," I started to cry as I slid down the wall.

Dean kneeled down next to me and took what was left of the soap dish out of my hands before rolling his own sleeve up and handing me his knife, "You want to cut so bad, cut me."

"No," I cried as I set the knife beside me.

"Listen to me," Dean said grabbing me by the shoulders, "I know what it's like to push everything down and not want to talk about it but I won't lose you too."

"I'm so scared, De," I admitted as I sobbed and he pulled me into a tight hug.

"I promise you we will figure all of this out and if you don't want to talk to Sam about it fine but you need to talk to someone, please angel," he begged.

"I just don't feel safe anymore," I whispered.

"Come on," Dean said standing up and pulling me up with him, "You need sleep."

I was about to crawl back in bed with Sam when Dean pushed me towards his bed. I couldn't remember the last time I shared a bed with Dean, it was usually when I was sick or had a nightmare. I crawled into bed and must have woken Sam up since I was still crying.

"What's going on?" Sam asked worriedly as he rubbed the sleep out of his eyes.

"Everything's fine Sammy," Dean said as he climbed in next to me and threw his arm over me and whispered in my ear, "Everything will be fine, I'm here and you will always be safe."