Chapter Twenty-Five
On a rainy Tuesday night, Loki was still lying on the couch, drifting in and out of sleep as he watched reruns of painfully familiar TV shows when he heard another familiar noise. He threw a glance over his shoulder, tracing the sound. Tabby was having a nightmare.
With a small grunt, he pushed Louis off of his lap and approached Tabby's bedroom. Both of her large dogs came bounding after him, evidently concerned that their owners would disappear once again.
After knocking lightly on the door, Loki entered the room, surveying the scene he entered.
Her room was a mess. How had she managed to make such an exceptional mess in the few days that they had been residing in the apartment? She was hardly in her room to begin with. She truly was the most slovenly creature that had ever come to exist. He smiled as he narrowly avoided stepping on one of the books littering the floor. She was always going on about reading all of the literary classics. She began them all, but could never bring herself to finish them.
"Tabby?" He questioned softly, nearing her bed slowly.
Tabby shifted in her sleep, letting out another faint whimper.
Loki smirked, sitting on the edge of her bed, brushing a strand of hair out of her face. "Oh, my cowardly little girl, one would think that a vacation at S.H.I.E.L.D. headquarters would have been more than enough to inspire some bravery. What monsters are threatening you this evening?" He inquired quietly.
Tabby sighed, leaning into Loki's touch. "Don't leave." She breathed.
Loki glanced down at the dogs, who were making themselves comfortable in the few spaces that were unoccupied on the floor. With a slight nod of the head, he followed suit, making himself comfortable in the small space on the bed that Tabby had afforded him.
As Loki stretched his legs out across the much-too-short bed, Tabby sighed once more before shifting again. She nestled her head against his chest and clung on to his arm tightly.
"There, now, darling. You are in no danger. Go back to sleep. You may worry about my departure in the morning." He crooned, continuing to stroke her hair absentmindedly. Judging from the way she leaned into his touch, she enjoyed it. He could see her eyelids growing heavy as she struggled to remain awake.
"Mmm," She murmured, finally allowing herself to fall into a deep sleep.
Loki chuckled to himself as he watched over her. She was making this much simpler than he had expected her to. She was showing her hand; she was allowing him to see that she still cared for him. Luring her away from Bruce Banner would be no challenge at all.
He followed Tabby into a deep sleep just moments later, dreaming of the perfect plot to make Tabby Baker his until the end of eternity.
She would be a beautiful queen.
He could just see her draped across a throne, watching those before her with those brilliant green eyes…
"What the hell do you think you're doing?"
Loki's eyes snapped open.
When had he fallen asleep? When had the sun come out? Why was Tabby so angry?
"I believe," he began irritably, pausing to rub his eyes, "that I was resting. Is there any particular reason for the interruption of my slumber?"
Tabby had evidently just woken up and was infuriated to see Loki lying in her bed. Her hair was a mess and her clothes were disheveled, but Loki couldn't bring himself to say that her appearance was unappealing enough to dull his unwanted feelings. She was impossibly perfect, even in this state.
She didn't seem to notice his reflection on her appearance. Instead, she took advantage of his distraction and shoved him off the bed roughly. He hit the ground with a resounding 'thump' and a stunned expression.
He quickly regained his composure and smirked up at her. "I believe you enjoy mornings even less than when I left you."
"I believe that I don't really like waking up to see my ex-boyfriend has snuck into my bed."
"Oh, I would hardly say that I snuck. On the contrary, I was invited. Do you not recall having a nightmare last night? If you do not recall, you thoroughly enjoyed my presence."
Tabby scowled.
"I was asleep."
"Were you?"
"Obviously, if I was having a nightmare. Now can you please get out of my room? I need to shower. I need to do anything other than sit around in bed and argue over stupid things with you. I'm pretty sure you'll die before admitting that someone else might just be right, anyway."
Loki smirked. "Someone else could not be right."
Tabby rolled her eyes. "Right. Well, at any rate, leave."
"Very well. I look forward to receiving another invitation tonight."
"Fat chance."
"I am very optimistic."
"Don't be."
"My, aren't we in a state today? It would serve you well to monitor that sharp tongue of yours. I enjoy it, of course, but the...ah...temperamental Dr. Banner might not find your comments quite so amusing." Loki drawled, leaning against the door frame, his eyes watching Tabby with a mischievous glimmer.
Tabby folded her arms across her chest. "Out."
Loki gave an exaggerated bow before leaving the room, both Louis and Marie trailing after him eagerly.
Tabby sighed as she ran a hand through her messy hair.
Waking up with her head on Loki's chest had been an unexpected curveball. The bastard was determined to act as though nothing had changed. The worst part of it was, when she had first woken up, it really felt like nothing had. Loki was there, the dogs were there, and she was perfectly content. She should have known better than to use 'Loki' and 'content' in the same sentence.
Bruce, on the other hand, defined the word content. Yes, Bruce was definitely the man to worry about, now. He would ask her to stay and she would say yes, just as she had promised. Beyond that, Tabby was sure that they would figure out some way to live a simple, happy, life. Well, as simple a life as a giant green rage monster could possibly live with his girlfriend.
The sooner that Loki left for Asgard, the better.
Still mulling over the two completely frustrating men in her life, Tabby scooped up the last of her clean clothes, along with a towel, and trudged towards the bathroom to take a shower. Maybe a nice, long shower would help her come to terms with the increasingly odd situation she had been thrown into.
She shut the bathroom door loudly and proceeded to put on her favorite playlist, turning the volume on her phone up as high as it would go.
Her music always drove Loki crazy.
Tabby would be lying if she said that she didn't smile at the thought of Loki scowling in the living room, mumbling to himself about why Lana del Rey would have been imprisoned in Asgard if it were up to him.
Ugh. No. Stop.
Thinking about Loki was not something that she wanted to do.
With a scowl, she stepped into the spray of warm water, closing the shower curtain on the rest of the world.
Showers were Tabby's solution to the problems that she couldn't simply flirt away. It was an escape from a world, a place where no one could hound after her. No one would ask her questions about her plans beyond the week. No one would show up with a maddening smirk and a witty comment, just to make her life more complicated. No one would expect her to have any answers. It was just a shower. The only thing she had to worry about was whether or not the conditioner was fully rinsed out of her hair.
Admittedly, she did take a much longer shower than was necessary. She couldn't bring herself to feel guilty about it; S.H.I.E.L.D. was footing the water bill and the only thing she had waiting for her outside of the bathroom door was an insufferable demi-god who seemed hell-bent on making her life as difficult as possible.
When she finally did step out of the shower, she surveyed the bathroom with a dumbfounded expression.
Hadn't she brought clothes into the bathroom with her?
Of course she had. She was trying to avoid any potentially sexy situations with Loki.
So, where had her clothes gone?
Tabby had a sneaking suspicion that the demi-god in the living room would be able to answer that question.
As she went to grab a towel, she was irritated to see that he had left her what she assumed could only be the smallest towel in the entire world. It would barely cover her.
She was going to kill him.
"Loki, what the hell?" She snarled, pushing open the bathroom door and stomping into the living room.
She continued to glower as Loki's eyes slowly made their way from her feet to her face, an amused smile playing on his lips.
"Was your shower not satisfactory?" He questioned, leaning back against the sofa.
Tabby's glare darkened. "Where are my clothes?"
"Ah," Loki smirked, looking her over once more, "I believe you asked me to do your laundry."
"My...you did...fuck. Loki, did you throw all of my clothes in the washing machine?" Tabby demanded, storming out of the living area to check her bedroom for any clothes that might have survived Loki's raid.
"That is how laundry is done. You should know this, darling." He drawled smugly from the sofa.
Tabby gritted her teeth, slamming the last empty drawer shut.
She had nothing to wear, save a towel, and she was stuck in an apartment with Loki.
Not good. Not good at all.
"When are my clothes going to be out of the laundry?" She asked, covering her eyes with her hand in an effort to calm herself down.
She heard a rustling noise, footsteps, and the sound of Loki leaning against the door frame.
He needed to stop doing that.
It was too attractive.
She continued to sit in front of her dresser, waiting for Loki to answer the question. She sure as hell wasn't going to look at him when he was so obviously trying to be attractive.
"About the washing machine. It seems that I did not use it properly. Upon further inspection, I realize that I might have broken the object. It appears that your clothes have served as a sacrifice to the machine." He commented, throwing a quick glance over his shoulder in the direction of the laundry room.
Tabby slammed her head against the dresser.
"You ruined all of my clothes?"
"It would appear so, yes."
"There's absolutely nothing besides this damn towel that I can wear?"
"I wouldn't go so far as to say nothing."
Tabby looked up hopefully, only to see that Loki had produced one of his button-down shirts.
Yeah, okay. He was as good as dead.
"Just answer one question for me, Loki." She muttered, snatching the shirt from him and pushing him out of the room long enough to change without feeling his eyes on her.
"You'll have to ask the question before I can offer an answer." He responded through the door.
She rolled her eyes before opening the door once more.
"What the hell were you thinking when you ruined my clothes?"
"Do I truly need to supply an answer?"
Tabby rolled her eyes again.
"You know that I'm going to kill you for doing this, don't you?"
Loki chuckled, shrugging.
"Oh, I assumed that you would attempt to murder me at some point during our stay here. Now, I may at least have the luxury of seeing you this way before my untimely demise." He snickered, returning to the couch as Tabby stomped back into the living room.
"You complete dickhead. I'm really going to kill you. I don't think I've ever been so tempted to strangle someone in my entire life, and let me tell you, Chad and Mike got pretty fucking annoying sometimes. You should probably start thinking about ways to make this up to me. Natasha taught me how to kill people. I could probably take care of you." Tabby growled, sitting on the corner of the coffee table and glowering at Loki.
The demi-god immediately sat up, eyeing Tabby curiously.
"Agent Romanoff trained you?"
"She sure as hell did."
"Why would she do such a thing?"
"Oh, I don't know, in case some fucklet decided to ruin all of my clothes on the off-chance of seeing me naked?"
"Now, really, my darling, if I so desired, I would have you naked right this instance. I supplied you with clothing. You should be thanking me."
"Give me your credit card."
"What's that?"
"Your credit card. I'm going to do some online shopping. I have to go help Jane find her wedding gown and the bridesmaids' dresses tomorrow afternoon. I don't have time to wander around New York in some asshole's shirt." Tabby barked, staring at Loki expectantly.
He watched her in amusement for a moment before sliding off of the couch and exiting the room.
When he reentered the room, he was holding a small plastic card, which he immediately offered to Tabby. "Is there anything else you might need? A physical apology of sorts, perhaps?"
She scowled.
"Go to hell. I'm five seconds away from calling Thor. He would probably come over here and beat you up for being so unchivalrous." She sniffed as she snatched the credit card from Loki's hand.
The corners of his mouth twitched into a smile.
"You believe that Thor would begrudge me for attempting to court you?" He questioned in amusement.
"You have a really warped perception of courtship." Tabby muttered as she walked towards her room.
Loki chuckled, shaking his head.
"Now, don't lie, my sweet girl. You are enjoying the courtship just as much as I am. You needn't worry. I won't run and tell the dear Avengers."
"Asshole." Tabby's voice was muffled through her closed door, but Loki could hear the smile in her voice.
The girl was trying to avoid any sentiment that might give her away. Loki was perfectly aware of the amount of effort she was employing. It would have been simpler, more humane, even, to allow her to continue on the path she had chosen for herself; the path that led to an uninspired future with the perpetually enraged Dr. Banner.
Luckily, Loki had never considered himself much of a humanitarian.
Two hours rolled by and Loki still had not seen Tabby emerge from her bedroom once.
Marie had taken to lying outside of the door, whining in frustration upon the realization that Tabby would not be opening the door in the nearby future. Loki would check his bank statement every so often and would smirk when he saw the new charges that Tabby was so liberally making.
He realized that she was trying to spite him.
If she believed that the way to hurt him was through his finances, she was absurd.
A knock on the apartment door interrupted the odd silence that had overtaken the apartment.
Glad for a distraction, Loki quickly answered the door, only to see Bruce Banner waiting on the other side.
"Ah, Dr. Banner. Come in. To what do I owe this tremendous pleasure?" He asked, hastily stepping back to allow the scientist entry into the apartment, greeting him with an amused smirk.
Bruce's tired eyes flicked to Loki briefly before returning to their usual location: the ground. He wrung his hands as he shuffled into the living area, glancing around every few seconds, as though he were expecting the layout of the apartment to change right before his eyes.
"Is, uh, Tabby around? I kind of wanted to talk to her about something."
Loki's eyebrows shot up.
Ah, yes. Here was the discussion that Tabby had been so obviously anticipating. It was all so predictable. Dr. Banner would nervously instigate small talk, which Tabby could partake in, simply to ease his mind. Once he was sufficiently convinced that Tabby 'loved' him (confirmed, naturally, by the way she discussed the weather with him), he would request that she remain in New York, as his one indulgence in an otherwise sacrificial life.
A nice story, Loki thought, but overall much too dull for a young woman such as Tabby.
He could not allow his little darling to suffer through such an anticlimactic ending.
As if on cue, Tabby materialized in the living room almost immediately.
Loki couldn't help but feel smug as he watched Bruce slowly observe Tabby's attire.
Tabby ignored the scientist's reddening face and extended a hand towards Loki, offering the small plastic card she had acquired from him just hours ago.
"I think you might be maxed out for a while." She informed him cheerfully.
Loki chuckled as he accepted the card, ignoring Bruce's gaping.
"Money is of little importance to me. I assume that you bought yourself more than a few nice things to wear?" He inquired, his eyes twinkling as Tabby smirked back at him.
Bruce coughed uncomfortably, finally attracting Tabby's attention.
"Oh, sorry. Hey, Bruce. Just settling a score with the resident asshole. Um, I thought that I was going to meet you for lunch at noon?" She asked, staring at the scientist inquisitively.
Loki and Bruce both glanced down at their watches.
Bruce grimaced.
Loki grinned.
"It's two-thirty."
Tabby's face fell. "Fuck. I'm sorry Bruce, I was just daydreaming about you all afternoon and I guess somewhere down the line I lost track of the time. You aren't mad, are you? I can always try to make you some lunch here, but you've seen the extent of my domestic skills."
Bruce couldn't bite back a smile, to Loki's despair.
It seemed that the scientist was far more resilient to Tabby's obvious lack of love.
How tragic.
"No, that's okay; I wouldn't want you to burn to Fury's apartment trying to make something. He'd be a pain in the ass for months. Why don't you let me make you something?" The scientist offered with a small smile.
Tabby smiled back apologetically. "I was sort of expecting you to suggest ordering a pizza after I offered to cook. We don't really have a lot of groceries here, mostly due to the lack of culinary knowledge between the two of us," she gestured between Loki and herself, "We've kind of been living off of fast food and take-out."
Bruce glanced at Loki nervously before smiling at Tabby once more.
"You know what, I'll run out and get some groceries. You should probably eat something other than fast food, or you'll be malnourished by the wedding. Doctor's orders." He teased, grinning down at the floor as Tabby laughed.
"I guess I can't really argue with a doctor, can I?" She responded, batting her eyelashes.
Loki rolled his eyes.
"No, you really can't. Okay, I'll be back in a half an hour or so. Brace yourself for the best spaghetti that you've ever eaten in your life." Bruce said, sparing Tabby one last grin before striding towards the door eagerly.
"Dr. Banner, would you mind some company? The food that I have been consuming for the past number of days has evoked some feelings in my stomach that I would not enjoy reliving each night until my brother's wedding." Loki stated, sauntering over to the scientist's side lazily.
Tabby was the first to object. "Oh, no. I, uh, I just spent so much of your money, Loki. Why don't you let me buy you something to eat? Um. I think at this point my card is less likely to get declined than yours." She argued, bounding over to the two men uncomfortably.
Loki smirked down at her.
"You needn't be concerned, darling. When I say that money is immaterial to me, I do mean it. I have access to more funds than you could ever hope to spend on your silly little outfits. Even if I were so inclined to accept your charity, you are in no state to go out in public."
Tabby glanced down, apparently surprised that her attire had not changed, before scowling. She turned to look at Bruce expectantly, as if she were waiting for the scientist to find some excuse to refuse Loki's company.
"Uh, yeah, sure, you can come along, I guess, Loki. Tab, I'll, um, see you in a half hour, then." Bruce mumbled, glancing at Loki nervously before slipping out the door.
Loki turned to wink at Tabby before following the scientist.
"I'm, uh, I'm surprised that you wanted to come with me. This isn't some trick to get me to destroy a grocery store is it? Because that wouldn't really be in your best interest." Bruce mumbled as they walked down the street in the direction of a nearby grocery store.
Loki arched an eyebrow, feigning surprise.
"Such little faith you have in me, Dr. Banner. You yourself saw the state of our kitchen. I would say that a trip to the grocery store was long overdue when you arrived. Seeing as Tabby was not appropriately dressed, you were the only available companion. One never enjoys going to these places alone."
Bruce furrowed his eyebrows. "Yeah, why was Tabby dressed like that? Was that, uh…"
"My shirt? Yes, of course. The rest of her clothes were unavailable."
"And you still call her darling?"
Loki shrugged. "Yes."
"You do know that she and I…"
Loki rolled his eyes.
"Yes, Dr. Banner, I am painfully aware of your arrangement with Tabby. Surely you of all people can understand my anguish. She is a most extraordinary girl."
"Right." Bruce murmured, looking thoroughly confused by Loki's honesty.
It seemed that everyone expected the worst out of him.
That was probably intelligent.
They walked in uncomfortable silence for a few brief moments before Bruce built up the nerve to continue on with his line of questioning.
Delightful.
"So, you do know that I'm not just going to let you take Tabby, right? I'm, well, I'm going to ask her to stay. With me."
Loki's posture stiffened, but he simply smirked and nodded his head.
"Yes, I am aware of your intentions. As you have confided in me, I will confide in you. I am not going to sit idly by and allow you to lay a claim on Tabby Baker, either. She is rather important to me. I could not allow her to remain on Midgard when there is a much clearer, much safer option."
"You don't think that I could make her happy? The other guy wouldn't hurt her."
"Oh, I have no doubt that you could make her happy for some period of time. She is not a difficult girl, so long as everything goes her way. You are a good man, Dr. Banner. I could not confidently argue against that point. As for the mindless beast that emerges from your anger, I am not quite so confident that her ability to soothe you after a particularly upsetting incident is a good thing."
Bruce looked surprised, but quickly argued.
"I think it's a great thing. The world will be a lot safer if I have somebody that can get to the other guy. Not even Tony can do that."
"So you intend to keep her on Midgard?"
"Well, yeah. Where else would I take her? I'm just a person. We don't travel between realms."
Loki nodded thoughtfully.
"I suppose it was intelligent of Agent Romanoff to train her, then."
"What? Why did Tasha train her? What are you talking about?" Bruce demanded roughly.
Loki smirked as they entered the grocery store, snatching a basket off of the floor before sauntering in the other direction of the store.
"Think about it, Dr. Banner." He called over his shoulder.
"Hey, sweetie, did you have a nice time with Loki? He got back here a few minutes ago I didn't see anything on the news, so that's a good sign, right?" Tabby asked as Bruce entered the apartment.
Bruce glanced around curiously, as if looking for Loki, before meeting Tabby eyes with a small smile.
"Uh, I wouldn't say 'nice,' but he didn't kill anyone or try to get me to kill anyone, so I'd say that it wasn't terrible. Are you ready for the best spaghetti you've ever tasted?" He replied, sparing one last look in the direction of Loki's bedroom before giving Tabby his undivided attention.
For about forty-five minutes they worked one the pasta sauce; Bruce dictated the recipe while Tabby struggled to do any aspect of the cooking that wasn't stirring or dumping cans of crushed tomatoes into the pot.
Bruce watched her throughout the course of the afternoon with a smile on his face.
This was the most effortless relationship he had ever been a part of. It was so easy to open up to Tabby. She didn't judge anyone; the worst that she could do was laugh, and even if she did, her laugh was contagious, to the point where you found yourself in tears over something stupid that you had done ten minutes ago. She never even thought to bring up the other guy. She was talking to Bruce as if he were just Bruce; nothing more, nothing less.
That hadn't happened since the Hulk had made his debut.
Thinking about the other guy brought up a question that had been running through Bruce's mind since his conversation with Loki earlier in the afternoon.
"Hey Tab, did Tasha train you?" He couldn't resist inquiring.
Tabby looked up from the boiling sauce in surprise.
"Oh, yeah, did Loki tell you about that? I'm so glad I have something to threaten his ass with, now." She replied, giggling as she dipped a finger in the sauce to sample it.
Bruce furrowed his eyebrows.
"Why did she train you?" He asked slowly, trying to make sense of the data he was accumulating.
Loki seemed to think that it was necessary for Tasha to train Tabby if she was going to remain with Bruce. He knew that the other guy wouldn't hurt Tabby; that had been proven time and time again.
"Oh, you know, in case I wanted to become an agent or something."
Bruce clenched his jaw.
Oh.
He should have known better than to assume that Nick Fury would let someone with Tabby's talents walk away from S.H.I.E.L.D. He couldn't resist the lure of a new weapon. A young girl that could control an otherwise mindlessly destructive monster was definitely a shiny new weapon to add to the collection.
Loki hadn't been playing mind games with him, after all. He was just concerned that Fury would take control of Tabby in the hopes of controlling Bruce.
"Hey, are you alright? Worried that I'm going to kick your ass, too?" Tabby teased, breaking Bruce's train of thought.
She was grinning from ear to ear, blissfully unaware of the uncertain future that she was facing. It seemed that the only thing she was worried about was not burning the sauce.
Bruce forced himself to smile. "I'm fine."
He couldn't let her become a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent. He liked Natasha and Barton as much as the next person, but he knew that overall, they weren't exactly happy about the outcome of their lives. They had seen things that the average person could not bear to see, they had been tortured and had seen their friends get tortured. They had killed people, whether they were innocent or guilty. They had thrown their morals out the window for the sake of a job they had never asked for.
He couldn't just give her up, either. She was too important. He hadn't been this happy in years. He didn't know if he could ever be so happy again if he were to lose Tabby. She silenced the evil in him and smiled as though she only saw the good.
He would have to get her as far away from S.H.I.E.L.D. as possible.
That would mean cutting ties with all of the friends he had made in the past years; Pepper, Barton, Tasha, Steve, Thor, and most importantly: Tony.
He ran his hand through his hair.
How was he going to explain to Tony that he had to take Tabby and run?
His mind was racing with ideas and plots as Tabby served him a plate of spaghetti. He could hardly focus on the superficial conversation that she was making an effort to evoke from him. The only thing that really interested him at the moment was her safety.
"So did you want to watch that Stephen Hawking documentary that I was telling you about? It's really cool and super easy to understand, so I think I might be able to hold a conversation with the science bros for more than a few seconds. You know, as long as you're talking about wormholes and aliens." Tabby asked, collecting the dirty dishes as soon as they had finished eating.
"Sure, yeah, Hawking is always a good lecturer." Bruce murmured absently.
"The man in the wheelchair who is occupied with the concept of aliens? How quaint. Darling, have you seen either of the dogs' leashes?" Loki drawled as he entered the living area, both of the large dogs at his heels.
Bruce stared at him curiously.
The dogs seemed to be very fond of the demi-god. Evidently dogs did not seem to care whether their owners attempted to take over entire realms or not.
Tabby chewed her lip, glancing around the apartment.
"I have no idea. I might have thrown them somewhere in my room. Why?"
"Oh, I just felt that perhaps a leash would be a fine accessory to my wardrobe." Loki responded dryly, rolling his eyes as he entered Tabby's bedroom.
Bruce began to chuckle, but quickly disguised it as a cough.
Loki returned to the living room with both Louis and Marie clipped to leashes, both of the dogs struggling to drag Loki to the door as quickly as possible.
Bruce jumped at the opportunity to discuss Tabby's future with the demi-god.
"Do you want me to take one of the dogs? I don't think they're going to be very easy to walk together." The scientist commented, ignoring Tabby, who was observing the scene with a horrified expression.
Loki met Tabby's eyes before smirking at Bruce.
"As always, your company is welcomed, Dr. Banner. You may have Marie's leash. She a bit better behaved than Louis."
"Thank you." Bruce muttered, accepting the leash before following Loki towards the door.
"Wait a minute. I thought we were going to watch the Hawking documentary." Tabby commented, folding her arms across her chest as her eyes flicked from Loki to Bruce.
Bruce knew that she was suspicious about the two men speaking with one another; neither of them had been too fond of each other. In fact, Loki had managed to provoke the Hulk more than anyone else in the world. Similarly, Bruce had earned Loki's hate on multiple levels while they were staying in the S.H.I.E.L.D. headquarters.
Tabby undoubtedly thought that they were secretly beating the shit out of each other the second that they were out of sight. That, or she thought that they were talking about her and exchanging secrets.
She should have assumed that Loki was not the type to make conversation similar to that of a seventh-grade sleepover party.
"We are...we will. I just thought it would be sort of nice if I got to know your dogs. This is only the third time I've seen them and they don't seem entirely thrilled with me." Bruce replied lamely, forcing himself to smile down at the setter straining against the leash in his hand.
"Huh." Tabby muttered dismissively, exiting the living room with a mystified expression.
Loki turned to smirk at Bruce. "Shall we?"
Bruce swallowed hard and nodded, following the demi-god out of the apartment.
"Loki, I need to ask you something."
"Yes," Loki agreed, glancing at the scientist appraisingly, "I assumed that was why you asked to join me. I have also taken the liberty of assuming that this question will be primarily related to Tabby Baker. That being said, I must inform you that I do not feel any inclination to aid you in your romantic endeavors. I may be cordial for the sake of her safety, but I assure you, I do not endorse your pathetic attempts at a relationship with her."
Bruce was taken aback by the severity of Loki's words, but quickly shrugged them off.
"You're worried that if she stays on Earth with me, that Nick Fury will kidnap her and make her work at S.H.I.E.L.D. so she can calm me down whenever he needs her to." He stated, unable to help feeling proud that he had figured out Loki's concern with such cryptic comments to work with.
Loki's condescending stare told him otherwise.
"If Tabby remains on Midgard, her problems will extend beyond S.H.I.E.L.D. Do you recall going into hiding? You were avoiding all interested parties. Everyone wants an indestructible monster on their side. Now, imagine what will happen when these interested parties discover that not only are you indestructible, but you are also very easily controlled by a helpless young woman."
Bruce's face fell. "You don't think…"
Loki shrugged, continuing to walk past the halted scientist.
"I do, as do you. The prospect of unlimited power corrupts the morals of even the most humane of people. The monster may be able to protect you, but Tabby Baker would be a prisoner by the end of the month."
"So when you said that there was a safer option…"
"I was speaking of bringing her back to Asgard, yes. She would be safe from any individuals who happened to know the details of your peculiar relationship."
Bruce sighed, his eyebrows furrowing.
"I could ask Fury to put her in the protection program. She could stay with me and Tony, I could…" he rambled, rushing to catch up with Loki.
The demi-god arched an eyebrow. "Now, my dear doctor, you may come up with any plan that you like. You may fill yourself with a false sense of hope until you genuinely believe your own statements. Until that point, however, you and I both know that so long as Tabby remains on Midgard, she will not be safe. Director Fury would be just as likely to use Tabby Baker against you, or even as a bargaining tool. Stark is no more capable of protecting Tabby Baker as he is Pepper Potts. Your strategies may vary, but the end game remains tragically constant."
Bruce's face paled.
Loki was right, of course. It would be cruel of him to ask Tabby to stay when it would be so unsafe for her. The best thing for her would be to go to Asgard.
The scientist gritted his teeth.
This wasn't fair. He had finally found somebody who didn't mind the other guy, someone who could make him smile even after he had done something that wasn't particularly good, someone that for the first time since Betty, had made him feel something other than self-loathing. And now he had to send her off to Asgard with the God of Mischief.
"Isn't there any way?" He asked desperately.
Loki shrugged again. "If there is, I have yet to think of it. While it is true that I would like to have another chance with Tabby, I have been entirely practical in my thoughts. She must be safe whether she agrees to come with me, or stay with you. Unfortunately, I could not think of anything that would make her safe on Midgard."
"So you want me to tell her that she has to go with you?" Bruce questioned in a small voice.
Loki shook his head.
"Have you met Tabby Baker? If you told her to breathe, she would die just to defy you. You must not tell her that we have had this conversation. It will only strengthen her desire to remain on Midgard, whether it is with you, or not. You must make her believe that there is nothing on Midgard worth staying for. I will take care of the rest."
Bruce swallowed hard, staring down at the ground.
"Dr. Banner," Loki said in the softest voice he could muster, "I am aware that this is not ideal. You may take all the time you need to come to terms with your situation. I will ask her to leave with me after Thor's wedding. You have until then to do whatever you must."
Bruce nodded, not really hearing Loki's words.
The two men returned to the apartment after a few minutes. Loki managed to act normal, answering Tabby's witty questions with his usual dry, sarcastic comebacks. Bruce, on the other hand, sank onto the couch and stared at the TV absently as Tabby turned on the Hawking documentary.
His jaw clenched as she curled up against his chest.
This was torture, plain and simple.
How was he supposed to leave the only thing that really mattered?
Loki smirked to himself as he entered his bedroom, affording Dr. Banner and Tabby some highly unnecessary privacy.
He could hardly believe how easily the scientist had taken to his story. He truly believed that if he did not drive Tabby into Loki's arms, she would be in grave danger. Had he no resources that could prevent her from falling into harm? Evidently not.
Now, Loki simply had to count on the scientist's morals.
That wouldn't be difficult. The man refused to kill a bug, insisting instead on tossing it out of a nearby window.
Tabby Baker was as good as his.