Dreams

I never got to see Uchiha-Dono again. Part of that was that Sasuke-San didn't try to invite me anymore. I remarked that looking straight at him with empty eyes reminded him of how easily I had thrown him on the floor, and that no one had been there to stop me. It was really nice not to have him so close to me. Like a bowl of fresh air.

But I missed him anyway. I didn't want to admit it, but I felt so lonely now. Naruto was sure he wouldn't come near me, so he started skipping classes again. And I was still studying. Sometimes I would know Sakura-Chan had her eyes on me and I would look at her. She would ignore me as always. Life sure was hard.

And Aoi-Sensei was still trying to hurt me all the way he could.

I wondered what could bring happiness to people.

One day we were ask to dissert on what we wanted to do later in our life. Naruto wanted to be Hokage, and that everyone respected him. I wanted to help him realize his dream. His smile had always been my little bubbles of joy.

"What did you say you wanted to be ?" Naruto asked me.

He saw how blank my sheet of paper was. Apart from my brother, I had nothing. I liked learning things, but I was stuck in that classroom with so slow people. I wanted to learn and learn more. My little bubble of comfort was full of calculable things.

"Don't you want to be a ninja ?"

"No." the answer fused.

That was the truth.

I knew I had great talents, and that Shisui-Nii told me I could do many things. He told me I could aim to be a hunter, the kind of ninja that chases bad guys. A hero of some sort. Or I could be a regular Chuunin, going to missions and completing them. But I would do it only to gain money, not to achieve something.

I didn't want to be in the light. It didn't suit me. Because light involved people, and they scared me as much as Naruto wanted to get their recognition.

All in all I had no dream.

"But you're so good in class. And you kick asses in combat."

That is only when I am motivated. Fighting was a solution to some problems, I reckoned, but I didn't like to do so. Because I had to limit myself. It was as Uchiha-Dono said. I could do whatever I wanted as long as I didn't see my important people as an assemblage of figures. If I really wanted to perform in class, I would have to fight like Shisui-Nii taught me. I wasn't sure how well the other people would be able to stop me.

Because I had troubles stopping by myself once I started calculating every move.

Sasuke-San had been very lucky that day.

"I'm not that good. And would you like it if I skipped classes ?" I asked my brother.

"I would let you do everything you want as long as you like it !"

"Thanks, bro. But I only want to help you become Hokage."

I saw his eyes shine with joy. Then he pouted and grumbled something and I knew he was reflecting really hard.

"That's not right. I don't want to have a dream and not you. My sister should be as awesome as I am when I will be Hokage. I thought of "kickass ninja" but you don't seem to like that."

"I like learning, I don't want to be a ninja." I sighed.

"That's boring !" he whined.

"You're boring ! You only want to be Hokage to prove you're the strongest person ever !"

"You're even more boring, you like to make strange drawings that explode !"

"That's seals ! It's the best thing ever, but you're so thick you'll never understand it !" I yelled.

We ended up at the opposed rooms in the apartment. Seals weren't boring at all. They were a mystery I still had to resolve.

I looked at my sheet. What should I write down ? All the other children were probably writing about their adventures as a ninja. My only goal was to protect the people I liked. Shisui-Nii and Naruto. And maybe even Sakura-Chan and Sasuke-San, because they were nice even if they were annoying at times.

But a dream was supposed to be what I liked, not only what I wanted. And Naruto made me remember I liked to solve mysteries. Maybe I should enter the Police Department. Somehow it didn't feel like I wanted to do. Then how about a desk job like deciphering codes ? It was nothing but calculus, and didn't involve being in the light.

No I wanted to do something that mattered. I wanted my brother to be proud of me. Like he said, I should be as awesome as him when he will be Hokage.

Then I took my pen and traced the kanji. I had my idea. Something like that would be really cool. I went up as I finished, put my homework into my notebook and went to Naruto. He was still pouting and turning his back on me. I hugged him anyway.

"You may be the most troublesome brother ever, I love you the most." I muttered.

"So, what do you want to be ?"

"A sealmaster." I said.

He deadpanned.

"A what ?"

"I'll be inventing seals to ease people's life."

"Boooooriiing !" he teased me.

My brother is such an idiot !

My lovely idiot.