APOV
The depravity of Elena Lincoln shouldn't surprise me at this point but shockingly, it does. I've been able to do a little internet reading on the long term effects of being molested as a teen but no matter how many times I read about the sick connection kids sometimes feel towards their molesters, I can't wrap my head around it. Christian's inability to completely detach from Elena, coupled with the fact that he still can't see just how damaging her abuse was, solidifies the fact that teenagers suffer the same emotional trauma that smaller children do at the hands of a pedophile.
And this one, she's a special kind of twisted. She has used every trick in the book, every manipulative tool at her disposal to not only bind him to her and make him dependent on her but she's also ensured that she's involved in every aspect of his life. This poor excuse of a human used private information about his prior abuses and used them to her advantage, exploiting them to mold him into what she wanted with no regard for the further damage she was creating. She simply didn't care, she wanted him, she was going to get him. There's not one part of his life that she hasn't somehow weaseled her way into. Except for me. And I will exploit that and use it to my fullest advantage.
Christian is steering us to parts unknown while I busy myself getting changed into my bikini and making us some drinks down below but I can't shake the disgust I feel about her continued influence. Her constant presence in Christian's life is always going to cause problems, not only for him but for us. And I'm not letting anyone, no matter how vile, or how twisted, or how nasty hurt him again. That bitch is going down.
Once the mint juleps are ready I make my way to the stairs before an idea strikes me and I run back to the bedroom and grab my eyeliner, heading into the bathroom.
Back up on deck I hand him his drink and as he sips, looking at my feet before scanning my entire body. When his eyes meet the silky coral of my bikini he smiles salaciously but then his brows knit and his head snaps back.
"What the fuck?" I just stand and hold my drink when he steps closer and begins to laugh. "You wrote on yourself?"
"Yup. On my heart."
His finger traces the liner as he reads out loud.
"You are safe."
"I know." He says quietly as he reaches for his phone and takes a picture of my chest. "You look smoking hot in that by the way." He waves his finger in the air for me to turn around and I do as he snaps a few more full body pictures of me. The urge to grab the phone and delete any pictures of me in a bikini is a tough one to fight but I manage it with a few more sips of my drink. If the front of his shorts is any indication of how he sees me, I'm looking just as good as he says.
"Thank you. Why don't you go get changed. I'll stay up here and…stand here." A quick glance at the dash and the many buttons, levers and knobs removes the possibility of him to letting me steer. "OK, nevermind, I'll go get your clothes."
He just takes his t-shirt off and hands it to me before raising his hands in a ta-da move.
"All set. If we want to go swimming, I'll change then." He looks absolutely delicious, unbelievably hot in nothing but flip flops and cargo shorts that hang low enough on his hips to show the waistband of his boxers and that sexy as all fuck V. Yea, I want him. Now. Taking matters into my own hands I stand between his legs again and press my ass against his groin, leaning forward a bit to grab the wheel. "Damn you look good, baby." He grinds into me. "Don't let go of the wheel."
His hands move from the wheel and slide over the smooth satin of my bikini top, his palms cupping both breasts, squeezing them in alternating patterns. Light squeeze, harsh pinch of my nipples. Firm squeeze, a light as air brush over my nipples.
"Are we far from everyone?" I manage to ask when he takes a break to turn me towards him.
"You know, I don't give a fuck anymore. Come here." His hand slaps my ass and pulls me closer as I shriek with the sting of it but he just chuckles and kisses me. "You liked that, Ana. That little sting didn't you?" His hand comes down again on my other cheek and I shriek again as the heat blooms across my skin. "You naughty girl." His voice is dripping with sin, in turn making me drip with desire. I haven't figured out how I feel about some of the aspects of BDSM that he considers kinky but I can't deny that I liked the aggression he just exhibited. I'll stew on that later, right now I want sex.
"Can I touch you, Christian?" he nods against my forehead and grabs my hands, pulling them against his chest, warmed by the sun. He sighs and presses me harder to him as his tongue plunders my mouth with a sudden desperate need, stroking and taking from me all that I'll give him. Just as suddenly he pulls away and kisses the words I've written on my chest, "I love this, this may be my favorite one yet simply because of where it's at."
"I mean it, Christian. You are safe with me." His hand flattens against the words and I slide down, unbuttoning his shorts and moving him by his hips so that he's leaning against the chair. He's hard as stone already and falls onto my waiting tongue where I suck him in as deep as I can until I feel the zipper of his pants on my chin. He quickly grows in my mouth until deep throating him isn't an option anymore. Moving to the tip I focus on the tiny slit seeping with cum and flick it quickly before sliding my mouth back down as far as I can.
"Holy fuck, baby. Oh fuck." With one hand he steadies himself on the wheel while the other hovers above my head in a sort of benediction. The floor beneath me hurts my knees but I press on, sucking him with hollowed cheeks and fisting the base of his cock while he tries to keep his own knees from giving way. "Look at me, Ana. I want to see you suck my cock."
His hair hangs over his eyes but I can still see the raw, primal hunger in them. It fuels me and I pump faster, my own spit covering my hand as it glides up and down with my mouth.
"Stop!" He orders, his head bowed to look at me, the tendons in his neck pulled taut. "I don't want to come like this. Stand up." I slide my body against his as I rise and he grins knowingly. "You could start a war with that body."
I laugh until he turns me and roughly puts his hand in my bottoms, kicking my feet until they're shoulder width apart. Three of his fingers drag up through my cleft, spreading my wetness all over. "Oh yea, let me feel that wet heat. Fuck baby, you're covering my hand with your cream." He stops at the top of my slit and moves his fingers quickly, the feeling almost like a vibration and I reach back to grab his hair to anchor myself as my legs grow weaker under his assault.
"Mine." He growls in my ear when he plunges one long finger inside of me, pressing the heel of his hand against my clit, throbbing with the need for friction. Instead he withdrawals and lifts me onto the chair, pushing my legs apart to get closer to me only to rub his erection up and down the wet crotch of my bikini bottoms.
His index fingers trace the outline of the triangles covering my breasts before he pulls them down and growls again, "Mine." I want him to touch them so badly but he doesn't, instead he turns to cut the engine and lifts my knees, placing my bare feet on the leather beneath me. I can feel my heels against my ass as he spreads me and runs a lone finger along the wet patch between my legs.
The same finger hooks the side of the fabric and pulls it over and he growls once more, "Mine." His finger pierces me and stays still but I can't, my hips rise and move on their own. "That's it, baby, fuck my finger." He meets me pump for pump and then moves in that frenzied speed, his hand hitting that spot at the top of my slit, his finger hitting something inside me that takes my breath away until I'm about to come and then he stops, withdrawing his finger and pulling the fabric over further.
"Do you see how much you satisfy me? How much I want you?" He takes my hand and runs it along the length of him. He's so hard his cock has a purplish tinge to it and I can see it pulsating, bouncing with each beat of his heart. With my hand still in his he guides the tip just inside me and kisses me deeply. "I'm going to fuck you now, show you just what you do to me." He grabs my lower back and pulls me onto him forcefully burying himself as deep as he can. Fuck! I can feel him hitting my cervix as he thrusts, the sensation painful and uncomfortable. "Hang on baby, it'll go away. Relax around me." How does he always know?
With each pump of his hips the pain recedes until all I feel is full, possessed, controlled. There's nowhere for me to go, my body is literally folded in half against his. A single bead of sweat falls from his chin onto my chest and I watch as the words begin to run as the sheen of sweat on my body mixes with his. His eyes are focused on the words, each drop from his brow smearing the liner.
"Mine." He says one last time, his hand covering the words and pressing against my heart.
"Yes, yours!" I cry as my belly clenches and rolls, gripping tighter around him until I can only feel the heat of his hands and the violent fluttering of the muscles around him as they draw him in even further.
"Scream for me, Ana." I don't need to be told as spasm after spasm roll through me and pull me under.
"Shit!" he yells, his hand gripping the bottom of my back so roughly it hurts and then he shakes and jerks, the heat of his release flooding me. "Holy shit." I only hear his whisper because he's collapsed against me, his face buried into my neck. "Holy fucking shit, Ana."
My legs are sore and tight from the position I've been in for the last few minutes and my ass feels a bit chaffed by the leather but the rest of me, my mind especially, feels like jelly. What Christian Grey is capable of when it comes to sex is a marvel. I may have been a virgin a week ago but I've had enough conversations with Missy, Heather and Kate over the past few days to know that mind blowing sex isn't the norm. He's ruined me for other men.
When he stands I begin to laugh when I see the remnants of his affirmation smeared all over his chest.
"I guess you could say you took that one straight to heart." He laughs and pulls out with a shudder.
"I take them all to heart, baby. Everything you've ever said to me I take to heart. I hang on your every word." He kisses me as if saying something like that isn't a big deal and drops the anchor with the push of a button. "Come on, I know the perfect way to get cleaned up."
With a sexy as hell shimmy he walks, butt naked to the front of the boat and jumps off, bobbing up halfway down the side a few seconds later.
"Come on! It's cold but you'll get used to it!"
I have never enjoyed the ocean, I'm a mountain girl through and through. Just knowing that there are living things swimming and…living beneath me that I can't see freaks me the hell out. I can get just as clean in the shower on board without worry of a shark coming to eat my feet off.
"Ana! Come on! Don't tell me you can't swim!" He's upright as little waves ripple around him, his arms constantly moving, flexing, bulging and the desire to touch him is more than my fear of the unknown so I jump in off the side, as close to him as I can, shrieking at the temperature of the water.
With one hand he treads water while the other one rubs the rest of the eyeliner away until all that's left is a red mark. We stay there, immersed in the cold water of the Pugent Sound for a few minutes before swimming to the back of the boat where a little ladder drops into the water with the push of a button.
Christian grabs the rail and pulls me with one arm to the steps, slapping my ass when it rises above the water.
"Your ass should be illegal." I laugh and wait for him to come up, hugging him to me as soon as I can. "And your breasts, they should be illegal. And your mouth, that should be illegal. And fuck, your pussy, that should be illegal and come with a warning label." He holds up his hands as if reading a paper. "This pussy will cause you to lose countless hours of sleep, will foster an environment that is not conducive to working or to being productive. You will think about this pussy for hours and hours a day and do just about anything to bury yourself inside it again and again."
"Christian!"
"What?" He's laughing so hard he can barely catch his breath and I have to say, it's one of the most beautiful sights I have ever witnessed.
"Don't call it that!" He's grinning from ear to ear, a teasing twinkle in his eyes as a fresh wave of laughter hits him. "Oh, you really think you're so clever. Perv!" I joke with him, playfully crossing my arms across my chest.
"What should I call it then? Your vagina? That's not really a hot word to use when I'm fucking you." Oh my god. Oh my holy god, I am so embarrassed. He catches on quickly and laughs heartily, grabbing two towels from underneath a seat.
"Ana, you're 22 and having sex, lots of sex. You should be able to say the word pussy. Go ahead, say it."
"No. I can't. And don't call it a vagina either unless we're in a doctors office. Ugh! There just aren't any good words for it."
"What did you call it growing up?" Oh my god. I must be as red as a tomato now. "Oh come on, you can't possibly be embarrassed."
"I am! We called it a…daisy." He's laughing so hard he has to bend at the waist to keep from falling. Wiping the tears from his eyes he repeats it, his voice a high whine as he fights not to laugh. I can't help it, I start to laugh right along with him but not because of the topic. Because billionaire CEO control freak Christian Grey is bent over naked laughing on the deck of his yacht.
"A daisy? Are you fucking kidding me?" I start to laugh harder, the ridiculousness of this entire conversation finally getting to me. "I am not calling it a daisy. No fucking way. 'Oh baby, your daisy is so tight', no way!" He's really cracking himself up and sits on one of the teak deck chairs to dry his feet and to catch his breath.
"You think you're so funny don't you? Well me and my daisy are going to make a snack and then take a rest so you and your tulip can go fuck off!" He stops and looks at me, eyes wide as his hands reach down to cover his nakedness.
"Did you just call my dick a tulip?" I nod once, a slow grin creeping up the corners of my mouth. "Oh hell no. You are not calling my dick a fucking tulip."
"Oh yes I am." We're both laughing now when I sit on his lap and kiss his cheek. "This is nice." He sighs and smiles.
"Yes, it is." We sit in silence for a long time, watching the water and the horizon, the only two people in the entire world.
"Oh that feels good." Christian is rubbing sunscreen, SPF 50 of course, into the skin on my back and legs in long smooth strokes as I lay on the open netting above the water. After another orgasm bent over one of the teak lounge chairs and a plate full of antipasti washed down with a $700 bottle of wine I am as languid as I can be right now. Whoever coined the term, 'This is the life', must have been dating Christian Grey.
"Your skin is so fine, I've never seen anyone with skin like yours." His hands circle my arms and sweep down and back up, rubbing out the tiny knots his amorous love making has caused. "I mean, it's flawless, right down to the perfectly round freckles on your shoulder here." I feel his finger tap lightly and swirl on my right side before bending down to kiss it.
"Lay down with me and relax. You said we could stay anchored here for the night so just lay down with me." His hand lightly smacks my butt as he rises.
"I'm going to fish. Want to join me?"
"Not even your holy hotness can get me to fish. I'm going to start on dinner in a bit anyway but not before I get a little tan."
"Well don't tan too much, I love that skin just the way it is."
Being out on the water, away from the pressures of work and the paparazzi I can finally relax. There is no Elena Lincoln, no Jack Hyde, no anything other than sun, sex and Christian Grey.
Wow. It's times like this that I wish I had a camera. My man, my super hot, super fit, super sexy boyfriend is sitting on the lower deck with his shirt open, fishing rod in hand and a toothpick in his mouth. GQ must have stopped by to prep this moment.
"Is that a toothpick?" He looks up and smiles wide, those perfectly straight white teeth reflecting the sun back at me.
"Elliot got me started. These are tea tree sticks." I hand him the beer I brought up for him and sit down next to him, turning his face towards me for scrutiny.
"Smile for me."
"What?"
"Smile for me." He does but it's more of a 'what the fuck are you doing' smile. "Did you have braces growing up?" He laughs and sits up straighter to drink, handing me the rod to hold when he goes to the rail to pee.
"Are we there now? Are we really going to start peeing in front of each other now?" Something about the ease of it for him makes it hot. Oh my god, get a freaking grip. He's pissing for god's sake.
"Ana, I have seen you in the throes of ecstasy, I have seen you cry your eyes out, we have swallowed each others cum." He walks back over, leans down and kisses the top of my head. "I've had your blood coat my cock. Yea, we're there now." Well, okay then.
"I'll remember to start locking the bathroom door." He sits back down and snickers.
"I'll have the locks removed then. I'm not missing out on the opportunity to ogle you in the shower."
"You really are a control freak extraordinaire."
"Baby, you have no idea." He winks and sips, taking back the rod and sitting back down gracefully.
"I'm getting the picture though. I'm going to take a shower and then start on dinner. We'll eat in two hours or so, good?"
"Perfect." I can feel his eyes on me as I walk away, adding a bit of that sway as I go. "Hey!" He calls. "Take off that cover up. I can't see your body the way I want to."
To me, there is no better person to cook with than Billie Holiday. After a shower and full body scrub so that I am as smooth as could be, I don the short white dress I've brought for tonight. The light gauzy fabric seems perfect for a night on a yacht but I forgo the high heeled sandals I brought to wear with it and opt to go barefoot.
When Christian comes below deck he sits at the center island and silently watches me for a few minutes before coming over and kissing me, feather light on my lips.
"I still can't believe that you're mine. That you're here and that you're real." His eyes are filled with wonder and I stare into them, memorizing the flecks of blue mixed in with the gray.
"Funny, I feel the same way about you." His mouth opens as if to say something but he doesn't and instead backs up and walks to the hall.
"I'm going to shower, I'll be up in a few minutes." While he's gone I stir the risotto and trim the asparagus while I sing along to 'Cheek to Cheek' grinning at her mention of fishing. How apropos.
Just as things come together he appears in the doorway with the bottle of wine he picked out for tonight, a 2006 Chateau Laville Haut Brion Graves Blanc that he swirls and smells before tipping back. I'd say it's all for show but since I've met him and experienced the wines that he drinks, there is no way I can go back to Gallo. He pours me a glass and tips it to my lips. Divine.
"Can I help?"
"Yes, actually. You can start by stopping that licking thing you're doing on my ear, it's very distracting." I lean my ass up against him, not at all surprised to feel a poke on my lower back. The man is always ready. I press my legs together. And so am I.
"You shouldn't have worn this dress then, it's very distracting in it's own right."
"And then you can stir this while I sear the scallops." His hands drop from my hips as he steps back, clearly uncomfortable.
"I was being polite." He purses his lips when I hand him the wooden spoon and smack his ass.
"Stir. From the middle out in constant slow circles. When it gets too thick, add a ladle full of this and then stir again."
"Ana, I want to eat this, not ruin it."
"I have the utmost confidence that you can do it." I walk away and grab the scallops, drying them and seasoning them but I don't, or can't, take my eyes off of Christian. He's concentrating very hard, as if stirring is the single most important thing in the world and I smile as I notice that he's doing exactly what I told him to do with exaggerated perfection.
There is something strangely erotic about watching him cook. Maybe it's his attention to detail, maybe it's the way his muscles shift under his white short sleeve button down, maybe it's the joy of watching him do something totally normal. Once the scallops are done I have him stop and pull the pot off of the burner. His pride is evident when we sit down to eat and he takes a bite.
"I can cook! Who knew?" He winks and sips his wine while I roll my eyes and smile at him. I've seen this man close multi million dollar business deals but this is the proudest I've ever seen him. Who am I to burst his bubble?
"You did an amazing job."
"We, Ana. We did an amazing job." OK, you go on believing that you sweet man.
"Do you always dine like this when you're here?" We're sitting on the deck as dusk descends. The candles have been lit along with what looks like white Christmas lights but is actually a very fancy lighting display. I feel truly alone and isolated here, only Christian and myself.
"Well, usually Mia is yapping away about something stupid and Elliot's making lame jokes but other than the company, yes."
"And you've never brought anyone on this boat except for family? Why?" He clears his throat and pours another glass.
"My family, my extended family, Elena," he makes a face which softens the blow, "and one time Elliot brought a girl he thought he liked. After four hours stuck on a boat with her though, he had me dock, drove her home and never called her again."
We eat mostly in silence, the calm and stillness around us lending itself to the relaxing atmosphere. How many people would like to be me right now? Alone and isolated with The Christian Grey. But it's me, little Anastasia Rose Steele from Monsanto Washington who's hand he holds even when he eats. It blows my mind.
"I'll clean up, you relax." He stands and gathers the dishes, disappearing into the kitchen while I stand at the railing, watching the moons reflection on the almost still water. A few minutes later he appears with a bottle of champagne and a plate of chocolate covered strawberries.
"Where did those come from?" I'm surprised, we didn't buy them and I didn't notice them when I was searching the kitchen for ingredients.
"I had Mac put them in the galley fridge." He shrugs as if embarrassed, looking down at the tray. "They always have these in the movies so I thought maybe that's what you're supposed to do." Oh be still my heart. My hand flies to my sternum and I smile, his eyes catching mine.
"It's perfect. Thank you." He beams and places the tray on the white linen bed on deck. The sheets are crisp and clean and smell like the sun and the ocean. Patting the space across from the tray as I recline I say, "Come here." and he does.
I settle myself in the crook of his arm and feed him a strawberry, just like in the movies and it pleases him. So cute.
"Five question game?" I feel him chuckle and roll me to the side so that we're lying on our sides facing each other. He gestures for me to start.
"What's your favorite color?"
"It had always been blue, specifically light blue. But now, it's the color green of your eyes." Good answer, Mr. Grey.
"Describe for me the perfect day."
"Easy. Sleep in, breakfast in bed, pancakes and bacon with coffee, the Today Show, read. Lunch, a really big chef's salad with gorgonzola cheese, a nap, read. Dinner, spaghetti and red wine, read."
"Wow, you've thought about that apparently."
"Kate and I used to talk about what we'd rather be doing in college when we were working all day."
"I didn't hear you mention sex once." He actually seems a bit hurt so I quickly amend my answer.
"Hmmm, well, in the past when I've answered this question I'd never had sex so it never fit in. But now that I'm doing it…all the time…I'd add in at least two sessions, before the nap and before bed." He grins like the cat that got the cream.
"Damn right you weren't having sex and damn right you are, a lot, now." He sits and opens the champagne, the cork disappearing into the ocean. Handing me a long stemmed fluted glass he toasts, "To your virginity and my claim on it."
"Christian Trevelyan Grey! You are so, so"
"Male. Caveman. I admit it," he shrugs, "knowing I'm the only one who's ever been inside of you is a real thrill."
"Hmph. I wish I could say the same." I'm joking but his face turns serious.
"So do I. I'd do anything to go back and erase my past so long as you were here waiting for me at the end."
"I'd be here." The words sit in the air while we sip and nibble, neither one of us speaking.
"My turn. You describe the perfect day."
"Cheater! We should amend the rules, original questions only."
"Next time. I want to know this though!"
"I'd wake up early, fuck you, go back to sleep, wake up to breakfast, an omelet and bacon, fuck you, read the paper, a real printed paper, not an electronic version. Then I'd fuck you, watch a movie, fuck you during the movie, no, actually I'd just stay inside you but not finish during the movie. Lunch, I could go for a chef's salad, fuck you again, read a book, fuck you and then go to bed."
"I don't know if that was five or six times you're fucking me but I'm sore just thinking about it."
"You'll toughen up eventually." I smack at his arm and laugh. "Do you ever wish you knew your real father or has Ray always been enough?"
"Wow, heavy. Of course I wish I knew him, I don't know anything about him other than he was an only child and that his parents had died a few years before. And that doesn't mean Ray wasn't enough but you know as well as I do that you always, no matter how good the parent you have is, you always wonder about the person who gave you life." I watch him carefully and he lays back to look at the stars.
"Yes, you do."
"Do you know your birth mother's name?" He visibly tenses.
"Ella. Ella McIntyre." I ask no more but reach out and tug his hair lightly.
"Explains the copper red hair you've got." He smiles, a genuine smile and I know I've said the right thing.
"How many men have you kissed?" This can only be bad. He's done all manners of things with countless women but me kissing a guy? He becomes a basket case.
"One. I've kissed a few boys but only one man." He shakes his head and smirks.
"Nice try, how many?"
"I don't know, six or seven." I see the muscle in his jaw tick but he leaves it there, probably because he knows that pursuing that line of questioning opens the door for me to start asking him about the women he's been with.
"What do I taste and smell like?" His mouth drops at my audacity but he quickly recovers and moves the tray of strawberries to the table. I'm embarrassed to ask but I really wan to know. "I mean, you mention how much you like the way I taste and the way I smell but I don't know why."
"In a word? Heaven. Let me show you." His hand moves to my thigh, making his intentions clear but I've already tasted myself on his lips, I want to hear him describe it.
"No," I say gently and lay my hand on his. "No distractions." He doesn't move his hand but he does lean back a bit to think.
"You taste sweet, like warm honey and salted caramels." He reaches down to adjust his shorts mindlessly. "I could lick you all day, I love the taste of your pussy. I'm sorry, your daisy." He rolls his eyes and I cover my face until he continues. "And your scent?" His head rolls back, his eyes close and he groans as if remembering. "Like sex. Pure, carnal, wicked sex. The promise of pleasure. Your scent calls to me, I know that sounds corny but it does, I crave it. The way your hair smells, the way the valley of your breasts smell, the scent of your skin but especially your sex." He reaches down again and rubs himself. "We've got to stop talking about it." I am so turned on right now.
"I'm changing the subject completely before I can't finish the game. Do you like Escala? Are you comfortable there?" What?
"Well, it's beautiful, artful and tastefully decorated so I do think it's gorgeous. But there's hardly any warmth, it needs color and personal things that showcase who you are. You're pretty awesome, it'd be nice if your apartment reflected that." It seems to satisfy him that I like his home but that I'm honest enough to tell him what I don't like about it. Time to drop the hammer.
"When you saw Elena on Friday and then came to my office for sex, was it because you were turned on by her?"
CPOV
What the holy mother of fuck? I sit upright and look at her incredulously. She's serious and upset. How did I miss this?
"What? No of course not! She repulses me, Ana. There is nothing redeeming about her. I would rather chew my own testicles off than touch that woman again. Why? Why would you think that?" She sits up slowly and murmurs so that I can barely hear her.
"Because she's beautiful and she can offer you what you like, what you like to do, things that I can't. I thought maybe she talked to you about a sub or something and it turned you on so you came to me to get off. And now that you've told me about the pictures I'm afraid it was because you liked whatever it was that was on them." I'm horrified and pissed that she would think that. Have I not done enough to convince her that she is enough?
"I really don't know what to say, you've totally floored me. I, do, I mean, are you saying that you felt used by me?" Oh my god please no. She nods her head and the bile in my throat rises.
"Oh my god, Ana! Never, I would never use you like that! You are so special to me, so, so, fuck! I can't even put into words what you mean to me. I would never, ever disrespect you like that. Ana, you have to listen to me. If every woman in the world was standing before me and offering themselves to me I'd choose you every single time without fail. No hesitation, no debate. You are it for me."
"So you didn't come to me because you were horny and needed to get off?"
"No, baby, I came to you because you're a refuge for me. Sex with you is a comfort, a connection to you that only I get to have and sometimes I need that. I ran to you on Friday because my world was spinning out of control and you're the only one who rights it. I needed you, Ana."
"How? How can that be true when I have no idea what I'm doing?" I can't believe she thinks this of herself. I breathe deep and reach for her hand to draw her close.
"Because. One thing has been made abundantly clear to me over the last few weeks. Sex with the woman you love is way better than sex for the sake of sex." Her eyes grow wide and she gasps a little breath. My hand cups her chin, my thumb running over her lower lip. "I love you, Anastasia, I think I always have. You slayed me the minute you came to the door."
She gapes at me and then those soft lips curve up and she hiccups a giggle back. My heart is in my chest with anticipation. Please say you love me too.
"Christian." She says softly, climbing into my lap and holding my face. "I love you too, you are so, so precious to me." She loves me. An excruciating joy wells inside of me and forces the air out of my lungs. Ana, my sweet Ana, loves me. My voice is husky and heavy with emotion but I can't stop the words from falling out. For weeks they've been dancing on the tip of my tongue and now, there's nothing left in me to stop them.
"You're it for me, Ana, I know it. You can doubt yourself all you want but you are it, there will never be another woman whom I'll love like I love you."
The soft billowy white dress she has on adds to the angelic quality of her appearance. My angel. I've never gone to church, never even believed in God but having this woman love me, me, Christian Grey, gives me pause. How is this possible that she could love me? But then she says it again and kisses my mouth, still slightly agape with disbelief.
"Kiss me, love me, Christian." A sob catches in my throat, the swell of emotion threatening to take the air right out of my lungs but I will never miss an opportunity to kiss her. My lips brush tenderly over hers as if it was the first time and in many ways, it is. I feel born anew, completely awash in the sensations of my body as they connect with the sensations of my heart. There's a nervousness to my kiss, an urgency to express to her that while I covet her body, it's her soul that I cherish.
I feel the sentiment spun back to me in the way her lips move against mine and the way she holds my head to hers when she tugs on my hair to draw me closer. With a gentleness that surprises even me I lay her down and run my hands along the silky skin of her calf and thigh, pushing the gauzy material up to her waist to reveal the lacy white panties underneath. Well if that doesn't solidify her angel status, nothing does.
Inch by inch the dress lifts until I just slide it over her head as her fingers slide under my shirt and do the same. Bare chest to bare chest, feminine softness to male rigidness. She leans up and pushes me down, crawling between my legs and dragging her heavy breasts over my belly and chest as she achingly slowly kisses me from navel to neck, leaving small wet patches that chill and burn at the same time.
Nimble fingers unbutton my shorts and push them down, carefully lifting the waist over my straining erection. She drags both shorts and boxers past my feet and lets them fall on the deck, her hands sliding up my legs from ankle to knee, thigh to hip, waist to shoulder and I realize with gratification that she is claiming me just as I have done to her.
"Mine." She says when her breasts graze over my cock.
"All of me, Ana. Every last piece of me is yours." I'm rewarded with a joyful grin. Gorgeous.
Her eyes seek mine as she hovers over my chest but tonight there is nothing but she and I. With a jolting graze of her lips she kisses my nipple and it hardens instantly under her warm breath. The sensation is completely new to me and when she licks it, my belly clenches as a chuff of air rushes out. I like that. Her tongue comes out again and circles me only to nip at me a minute later. Fucking amazing.
She rises and brings her face to mine, brushing my hair back to kiss my forehead.
"I love you." A kiss to the corners of my mouth, "You are a wonderful man." More feathery kisses to my jaw and ears, "I love you so much." It's all I can take. I roll her underneath me and slide those sexy little panties off and then it's just Ana.
She takes my breath away.
Her eyes are clear and bright, feral and needy and I know that mine are the same. The intensity of this night, this moment crashes into my chest and I worship her with my lips and hands, covering her from ear to toe, each undulation of her hips propelling my desire for her.
"Kiss me." With pleasure, baby.
Her tongue meets mine with long sure strokes until I suck that bottom lip into my mouth and bite down gently. "I love this lip, Ana." Soft hands caress my face as I move lower and press my lips to the tender hollow of her throat and I indulge in the comforting steady pulse. Even now I can't believe that she's here and real and mine.
"So sweet, so, so sweet." The feel of her nipple against my tongue sets me on fire, the heat from her skin scorching me as the scent of her arousal beneath me and the sounds of her lustful moans above me combine to create a heady cocktail that goes straight to my head and my dick. I'm helpless against her, there is no power on earth greater than the one she holds over me.
"Christian, please."
I slowly shake my head, letting my teeth skim over the satin flesh of her hips while my hands reach lower, wrapping around her ankles and drawing her legs up.
"I want to taste that sweet honey first." Those silky hips roll against my belly, liquid fire covering me and creating an inferno. I reward myself with a long intake of breath against the moist, slippery skin between her legs. This is where I want to be for the rest of my life, on top of and inside Anastasia Steele.
"Christian" she pleads but I want more, I want her cream to cover my mouth, to sear itself into my skin so that I can taste her and smell her whenever I want.
"I love the way you smell, baby." She bucks against my tongue when it runs the length of her slit, collecting that sweet cream that I want so much. "Mmm, I love the way you taste. Give me more." She leans up onto her elbows and sobs out a moan as she weeps onto my tongue. So fucking good.
"Watch me, Ana. Watch me worship your body."
"Oh god." Is the only coherent words I can make out before I suck that pulsing bundle of nerves into my mouth and stroke it, slowly, languidly as her wetness seeps down my chin and onto the sheet beneath us. Like a starved man I lick, suck, vibrate against the soft pink flesh, tasting as much of her as I can.
The quiver begins in her belly and I pull away, her head falling back, her hands holding onto her breasts. Fucking hell is she spectacular. When she looks at me again I slide up that warm skin, rubbing her wetness from my neck to my waist. Her soft feminine body arches to meet mine when my lips suck her neck, her hand automatically laying itself flat against my chest.
"I want you." I whisper in her ear, my hand holding the top of her head just like I did when I took her the first time.
"You have me." She whispers back and rolls up again, seeking the joining that we both want.
"I want all of you."
"You have all of me."
"I want more." She whimpers when I enter her, deliberately going as slowly as I can so that I can feel every part of her. A groan leaves my mouth and she reaches up to catch it with her own, her tongue darting out to taste the cream on my lips. As slowly as I entered her I pull back until just the barest inch of me is left and with a powerful surge I impale myself within her as far as I can, her scream renting through the quiet night.
I growl and then thrust into her again and again. My toes dig into the mattress and push me deeper, closer to the ecstasy only she can bring. The hand I had been holding pulls away and grabs at my back and scratches me, the sensation pushing me to the edge. I stop, reveling in the feeling of her around me but not moving.
"Ana." I sigh against the silken skin of her neck, both of our bodies still until she wraps her legs around my hips and pulls them back just enough so that I can go deeper. "Ana." I'm burning, on fire, melting into her body beneath mine, and she holds me and whispers against my lips.
"I love you, Christian." The tremble begins in my feet and slowly, achingly slowly, winds its way up my legs until my whole body is shaking in her arms but still I don't move. Her fingers grip the skin on my back to force me closer as the heated fluttering I can feel around my cock becomes a raging inferno, clenching and pulling at me to come deeper and with tremendous effort I lift my forehead to hers.
She cries out then and my name rents the air around us as her legs tighten around my waist. Her breath comes in short gasps, her lungs unable to keep up with her spectacular release. Still we don't move.
"I love you, Anastasia." I breathe into her mouth. The tremble centers in my belly, the swell and throb of my cock almost unbearable until I splinter in two and jerk against her and in her, each convulsion a release unlike any I've ever known. On and on it goes; over and over I feel the arch of climax and just when it ebbs it starts again, each time I gasp and groan against her mouth. She's gasping beneath me, still trying to catch her breath against the constant shudders of our climax until we're both spent and covered in a sheen of sweat that chills the blaze of our skin.
We lay like that, skin to skin, intimately connected for what could have been hours. My entire body feels like the bones have been taken out of it, the ability to speak has left me as has the strength to move. Finally, when the breeze from the ocean vaporizes our sweat and Ana shivers beneath me do I reluctantly withdrawal from the warm confines of her legs, rolling onto my back next to her, the effort monumental.
Ana attempts to sit up and giggles as her arms give out, falling back onto the soaking wet sheet.
"I don't know what that was, but I don't think I can handle that more than once a year." I laugh next to her and take her hand in mine, sitting up and pulling her with me. My legs feel like jelly but I remain standing and pull her against me to kiss her. She reaches for her dress and my shorts but I tug on her arm, eager to lie back down.
"Leave them." She doesn't argue at all but follows me, hand in hand to the bedroom and climbs into the oversized bed naked. For the first time since I met her, hell, for the first time in my life, I'm sated. Not just sexually but emotionally as well. Sleep comes fast and easy but not before she sighs, "I love you." into the night.