Chapter 25
Regina sat back on the couch and waited for the seamstresses to come back out with more selections. She wasn't really in the mood to pick anything out. She just wanted to go to her rooms, or more precisely Emma's wing in the castle, and just be with Emma. She knew that she could be as elaborate as she wanted. She wasn't going to be demure either. She looked across the other couch at Emma and smiled.
Emma smiled back at Regina. She wasn't any more in the mood to pick out a dress for the ball than Regina was. She was only there and acting civil with seamstresses because of Snow. She could think of a million other places that she would rather be, then there, but the ball was for Henry. And Henry was her son, so she knew that she would look good for him. She kind of wished that she was with him at the tailor with Charming. She didn't mind dressing up. She just didn't want some big fancy dress.
"Emma, are you even looking at them?" Snow questioned, starting to become impatient with them both.
"Yes, Snow, I am. I just don't think that I would look good in that," she replied pointing to a big poof-y red number. "Can I wear something with pants?"
"I mean you can if you want, but I think it would be courtlier if you didn't," Snow answered.
"I don't live here."
"I know that, Emma, but they are your people, too."
Regina couldn't take it anymore. She knew by the look on Emma's face that she was about to blow. It was the same argument every time they came back. Why couldn't Emma stay? Couldn't she try to see things from their perspective? She was the crown princess and the legal heir to the throne, but technically she was older than her own mother. Emma was never going to plan to the Queen and she wished that her mother would see that. She knew that Snow felt like she had failed Emma as a mother, but it was a little hard for Emma to feel sympathy for her. She couldn't understand Snow's constant pressure on her. Snow had Eva and Ruth to make up with, to be the mother that she so desperately wanted to be for Emma, because Emma has already forgiven her. Regina knew that if she didn't give Emma some relief from her mother that the fight would go to a level that neither of them wanted.
"Snow, dear," Regina stated, as she inserted herself between them.
"Yes, Regina?" she questioned, looking at her step-mother.
"Why don't you help me for a while, Dear? I am sure that Emma just needs a break. I am sure that she will find something in time. Won't you, Miss Swan?"
"Yes, yes, I am sure that I will."
"Well, I guess. What did you have in mind? Did you see anything that you like?"
"Well, I did, but I don't think that color will suit me. I am so used to wearing black to gatherings like this, that I have forgotten what would look good on me. And, I know white would, but I'm a little impartial to not wearing white again. I am sure that you can understand why, Dear."
"Yes, yes, I understand. I always loved that pale blue dress that you had. It was magnificent. But, I think now it should be darker. Do you think that you could handle a deeper blue, something more like cobalt?"
"Something more or less like a deep but pretty royal blue, Snow?"
"Yes, something like that would look great," Snow replied.
"I think I could handle that. Do you see anything here in that color? I wonder."
A seamstress came out of the back with a bolt of cloth in the color that she perceived that Snow was talking about. Snow smiled at the color and nodded profusely at the seamstress. Regina liked the color, admitting to herself that she had several jackets that color back in Storybrooke.
"That will do nicely, Dear."
"Where did Rhiannon go? I thought that she was going to pick something out as well. Have you seen her?" Snow asked Regina.
"I am sure that she is checking out the shop. They don't have places like this in her realm. Plus, she maybe a little overwhelmed by all of this. She did come to me for help and in the process…"
"Had to bring you back to life and is now here for your son's birthday," Snow finished for her.
"Exactly. She might just need some time on her own. I am sure that she'll look lovely. She likes balls as much as you do. Besides, she'll just conjure something up if she can't find anything that she likes. But, just to warn you, our dresses are a little ostentatious to what she is used to wearing. She might not be as fancy but trust me when I say that she'll make heads turn."
"I am sure she will. She does have a nice royal bearing. Why didn't I ever meet her before?"
"You can thank my mother for that," Regina replied, softly.
"Do you think that you will have better luck finding something for Emma, than I do?"
Regina turned to Snow. She saw how serious she was about the dress and getting Emma in one. She knew what Snow was planning and she knew that Emma wouldn't be that happy about it. But, she also knew that Emma knew in the back of her mind that Henry was a prince and her heir. She just knew that Emma hadn't thought it much past that and what it meant for Henry.
"I don't know. Well, I might, if you give me leave way to let her wear a dress like tunic with the gown back and trousers, then yes, I can get her into something regal looking. Other than that, I'd have to magically get her into it before the ball and make it stay that way until it was over. And, before you take that suggestion, you know how well that would go over," Regina replied.
"I am not against that. I used to wear gowns like that for everyday court business. If you can get her into one of those, I'll be happy. It just needs to look…"
"Dressy, I know. Now, go on, Dear. I am sure that you have some things to prepare for or get ready for the ball. I'll deal with Emma. And, I'll make sure that Rhiannon has something nice to wear as well. I'll take care of it," Regina replied.
"Thank you."
"Don't thank me yet. We still have to get through tomorrow. And, your gift to Henry…you need to talk to Emma about that as well," Regina stated, reminding her.
"I will…tonight, after dinner. Let her know that I will need to speak with her, alone. There are some things that I need to discuss with her. I'll leave you both to it, then," Snow stated.
As usual with her overly chipper self, she hugged Regina for taking care of Emma and their "problem." She knew that she would have to explain it all to Emma later. It was still a little weird for them both that Snow was so nice and friendly towards Regina. To Regina, it reminded her of young Snow. To Emma, she thought her mother had finally lost it.
"So, I guess you get to dress me now?" Emma asked when Regina joined her on her couch.
"I might have suggested that I would."
"No magic?"
"No magic."
"Then, what?"
"Your mother and I used to wear some formal style clothing that wasn't very courtly for our daily business. Don't get me wrong, sometimes I liked that frilly stuff, but for the most part I wanted something functional. I wanted something that looked good, but I could also move around in. I didn't stay Queen for so long because of the dresses, Dear."
"Okay, so then what?"
"Well, it simpler to show you. They are like dresses on top. A tunic style bodice with a gown flair, but instead of a full skirt, it would have a half skirt or panels. This would allow us to wear trousers of the same color and materials underneath. The panels would have cut outs or the entire front of the skirt would be missing. It allowed us to move and for Snow to fight."
"That sounds reasonable," Emma stated.
"I am sure that your mother would love to see you in a full gown with lace and all the trimmings, but I couldn't see you doing that but once and for a very special occasion."
"I am sure that she would, but we both know that I am not one for convention. You should know that better than anyone. Show me something and then, I'll make my decision. Have you honestly picked anything that she has shown either of us?" Emma asked her.
"No, I haven't, but I was humoring her to begin with. She did however find me the perfect color. I think that I can give into her one request and not wear black."
"What color is it?"
"Royal blue," Regina answered with a smirk.
"Really?"
"She picked it out, Dear, not me. I couldn't quite believe it either. It is a very rich and bold color. I have actually always liked blue. I am just surprised that she is actually going to let me wear it to the ball," Regina told her.
"You are still Henry's mother."
"That isn't the point."
"No, it isn't, but she still remembers it. She also knows that you are still technically a princess in your own right. She can't deny your birthright, but she can deny you the throne. She knows that. She also knows that I have chosen you for my consort according to the court. I chose to be with you. She knows that means I want to be with you. I have made you and Henry my family."
"I know that, Miss Swan. And, that very fact has made me very happy for many years. You have given me everything that I never had but always wanted. I thank whoever I can every day for that, Emma. I love you and your mother sees that. I think she finally realizes that I have no design or desire for the throne anymore," Regina explained to her.
"I know. She finally trusts you, again. And, I know why. It is because you have both learned to forgive each other. She remembers the person you were when she was young. That is the only Regina that she every wanted. She thought of you like an older sister more than a step-mother. She missed you, but she was glad that you were there for her after her mother's death. I think that is why she was always so dead set against killing you. She wanted to heal your heart because she blamed herself. She knew that was the only way to save you."
"But that's just it, Emma, she didn't save me. Not completely, you did. If you hadn't come into my life, if Henry hadn't been born, I wouldn't have found a reason to come back from that place of hate. You both gave me a reason to search myself and realize that I had been a pawn for too long and that I needed to find my own way."
"And, you have," Emma replied.
"I did. I have finally found a way to have the family I always wanted. I got my happy ending with a twist of revenge as well," Regina stated with a smirk.
"Because you fell in love with your enemies' daughter?"
"Yes," Regina replied, simply.
"And, now?"
"And now what?"
"How do you feel now?"
"What does that mean?"
"How do you feel about everything now?"
"I am happy that I have you and Henry. I feel blessed to wake up every morning now. I would do anything for you and Henry. You must know that."
"That isn't what I'm asking," Emma replied.
"Then, maybe I don't understand the question."
"What do you want from this relationship from me?"
Regina regarded her. There was something behind Emma's words, but she wasn't sure what it was. She was frightened. Had she been wrong to heal her soul so that she could love Emma completely? Had she pushed too far with Snow killing her that Emma couldn't come back to her? Regina was scared and she didn't know what to do. She swallowed and pushed down the magic she felt brewing inside her. She knew that she couldn't lash out, not now, not ever again.
"Regina?"
"I don't know what you want to hear."
"I want the truth. What do you want from us? What do you want from me?"
"I want us to be a family."
"You want us to be a family?"
"I am happy with our arrangement, if that is what you want to hear," Regina stated.
"And, what exactly is our arrangement, Regina?" Emma asked her, motioning to the seamstresses to leave them alone.
The seamstresses nodded and left them to the dressing room, alone. She waited until they were gone to take Regina's hands and lead her back to the couch. She sat her down, softly, her eyes never leaving Regina's. She noted the lavender build up in Regina's eyes, but just as soon as it came, it vanished back down and her chocolate eyes gazed at Emma in wonder.
"I thought you were happy with me. I guess I was wrong. Don't worry; I am not going to go all crazy and black. I understand the power of restraint. I think I am going to go home. You know where to find me," Regina stated, standing and heading for the door.
She knew that it had only been a matter of time before Emma left her like everyone else. She knew that Emma would break her heart, but she hoped she was wrong. She hoped that because of their shared painful pasts that Emma would be different. She hoped that Emma would be the one that she could build a life with, grow old with and love for a lifetime. She closed her eyes and remembered that she was a villain, she didn't get happy endings.
Emma was off the couch faster than Regina thought possible. She caught Regina by the elbow and spun her around. She pulled her into her body and held her tight.
"Don't go, Darling."
"I'm fine, Emma. You can let me go. You have been a pleasant distraction. I'll go find Rhiannon and we'll leave. I have my powers back now. I'll help her find her daughter. There is no reason for me to stay here if you don't want me. We'll leave after Henry's party tonight."
"Regina, stop."
"No, I understand. It's okay, Miss Swan. I don't want you to feel obligated to me anymore. You have saved me, Savior. You can walk away now with a clean conscience. I'll let you go."
"Regina, would you please just shut your mouth."
Regina looked up into her emerald eyes and tried to find the hatred that she'd never felt from Emma. She couldn't see it. She saw only happiness. She saw only love. She gave Emma a confused look. She didn't know what Emma wanted. She couldn't tell.
"Miss Swan, please just let me go."
"Regina, I swear... Why do you always have to be a stubborn ass? Why do you always think that someone is out to hurt you? Damn it, woman, sit down and calm down."
"Not until you tell me what you want, Emma."
"I'm trying to do that, but please sit down first."
Regina let herself be guided back to the couch. She sat down and gave Emma an expecting look. She wanted to know what Emma wanted. She was watching Emma, trying to find something that she could hold on to, something that she could read in her body language, anything that would let her know what Emma was thinking.
She watched as Emma reached into her jeans pocket. It was a normal pose that she would take when she was talking to Regina. She would hide her hands in her skinny jeans to keep them somewhere. She knew that is was a way to keep her from fidgeting so much.
Emma paced in front of her. She was staring at the floor, noticing the patterns. She didn't know if she could look into Regina's eyes and see pain, knowing that she was the one that put it there. She needed to talk to Regina. This wasn't the ideal place, but they needed to talk. It was the most private place that Emma had found since they got back. She couldn't stop pacing.
"Either say something or I am going to leave," Regina told her bringing her pacing to a halt.
"I don't have elegant words. I never stopped looking for a family until I found you and Henry. If Henry hadn't come to find me, I would have never found my family."
"No, if I hadn't cast the curse…"
"I would have never had Henry. We would still be a war and who knows what we would have become. I don't care about that. If Henry hadn't come for me, I would have never found you. I wouldn't know that my parents are still alive. I wouldn't know what it is like to love and be loved in return. I would never have found the one person that gets me better than anyone else in this world can, Regina. I would have never found you," Emma explained to her.
Regina's head snapped up. She studied Emma. There was something different in her demeanor.
"Regina, I don't know what how else to tell you."
"Tell me what?"
"That I love you."
Regina stared at her. She cocked her head in question. Emma knelt down in front of her, finally pulling her hands out of her pocket. She held out the ring that been there for hours, burning her.
"Regina, I have loved you for years. I realized that I haven't been fair to you these last few years. I just let things go on the way they were because it was convenient for me. It as easy."
"Emma…."
"No, I kept us in a holding pattern. You were the one who felt that something was wrong. You were the one that paid your life for love. What have I done to you? Nothing, but keep you locked up, a prisoner in your own body, being an outcast and I don't even know that I made you happy. I know that you love me, Regina. I can feel it when you touch me. I can see it in your eyes. I can taste it on your skin, but I have never asked you the right questions," Emma stated.
"The right questions? About what, Emma? Why do you have that ring?" Regina asked her.
"I never asked you if you wanted to be with me. We made a family together for Henry's sake. In doing so, we unleashed our hidden passion for each other and declared our love to each other. We have been together but never anything more than what we were in Storybrooke."
"What do you mean?"
"I am the Crown Princess."
"I know that."
"Henry is my son, which makes him a Prince of the Realm."
"I know that as well, Dear."
"I think it would be easier for him…for me, if we did have to come back here, if you were by my side. I don't think that I could rule with you by my side."
"What are you saying, Emma?"
"I don't want you to be my Consort, Regina. I want you to be my Princess. I want you to be my wife in every way possible. I want you to make me the happiest woman at court. I want you to be there as Henry is crowned Prince. I want you to marry me. Will you marry me, Regina?"