I hope you are enjoying the story. I am looking for ways not to have kill Morgana. I appreciate any comments or suggestions. I think that there will be at least four or five more chapters.

****healing begins***

Arthur did not move closer to Merlin. He would not look away. "You promised that you would always be my brother. You promised that it would never change when either one of us found our mate. Yet, I still feel something missing. The things I am missing is you. No one understands me better than you. Mithian is getting better at reading me, but it is not the same. You never failed to push when I needed it. You never failed to guide me when I needed it or not. I am not saying that this is going to be easy. It is something we failed to address on your return. I need you, and you need me."

Merlin struggled with his emotions. He could see the tears fall down Arthur's cheeks. Without thought, he moved forward and pulled Arthur into his arms. He just held him. He allowed his own tears to fall silently.

Lancelot watched for several moments before he indicated to for the others to make their presence known. "What are we going to do now?"

Merlin looked up at Lance. "We should travel as much as we can. It will be a long journey. It would not be too difficult to travel a couple of days on horses to cover much of the distance then we can set out on foot. We can ride for a few hours and then make camp."

Arthur nodded his agreement. The men set down the path on their horses. They all rode in silence. It was just past midnight when they found a place to make camp. "You left without your pack." Sir Galahad spoke to Merlin.

Merlin smiled and shook his head. He reached into his pocket and took out a small pouch and placed it on the ground. He placed his hand over it and spoke, mhéadú. The bag was enlarged. Everyone watched. They smiled with sadness in their eyes knowing that Merlin had intended to leave without them.

Everyone began to layout their bedrolls. Merlin set about to make a fire and ward their camp, so that they would alerted if anyone approached. Soon, they were all laying on the ground. Most fell asleep instantly. However, Arthur and Merlin were not quick to go to sleep. Merlin lay on his back looking up at the night sky. He was near Arthur in case he needed protection. "I do not know how to be near you without wanting you. I wish I could just turn it off, but I cannot seem to do that. It was just better for me to stay away. I am thinking that it was not wise, because it only made the feelings worse when I am near you." Merlin spoke without looking at Arthur.

"I know what you mean. I still feel the urge to touch and reach for you. I feel the excitement especially when you speak in the language of the dragon. It is something that we have to resolve together and not separate." Arthur responded.

Arthur rolled on to his side. He looked at Merlin. "Have you had any word of Mordred? I know that you have never stopped to looking for him these past four years."

Merlin rolled and faced Arthur. "No, I have not had any word about Mordred. Yes, I still look for him. I do have hope that I will find him soon, though I am not sure if it will be a thing. I know even the druids feel that I should have stopped. Things are very mixed where Mordred is concerned."

"Why is that, if you can tell me?" Arthur just enjoyed speaking with Merlin. It was something that they have not done for quite a while.

"I am not sure if I should say. It is not something that could easily be explained. I do not want to affect the future. I have seen what could happen when someone tries to interfere with what the future is supposed to bring, because they usually cause it to happen. I am not sure if I explain everything if it will affect him, you and me or others. I hate always knowing. It is a weight that I never wanted. I have heard it from more than one source."

"Sometimes, it is better to share the weight. I know that there are somethings that you will have to carry on your own. However, sometimes it is good to just have an outlet for your emotions."

Merlin felt the silent tears again. "I feel like I have failed him, you and myself. I feel like not being able to reach him in time or finding him that I have allowed prophecy to be fulfilled. It is spoke that he will be your death. I know that it was a possibility when I returned him to the druid camp instead of killing like Kilgharah wanted me to do. However, I just could not help but feel that if I could befriend him that I could avoid the prophecy. Iseldir even once said: 'You will see him again. His part in your destiny is not set in stone, and always remember there is no greater power or magic than love.' I have held on to that hope."

Merlin paused to wipe the tears away that would not stop falling. "When he was captured by Sarum, Sarum used a creature to suck out the boy's magic; then sold him to slave traders. The loss of one's magic would be enough to feel one with hate. Even if it is gone, there is a constant void that cannot be filled. They caution me that it would be best to leave him missing. However, I feel deep down that I may not be able to trust him, but I also must find him. It is not just a matter of honor, but a driving force."

Arthur reached for Merlin's hand and squeezed it. "It is a lot. I am not sure what to say to all that. I am not sure if I should say anything at all. I will not say that the druids are right in this case; however, I do know what it has done to you. I know that you need closure where Mordred is concerned. I will help you keep searching for him. I cannot promise more than that."

Arthur was about to release Merlin's hand when Merlin tightened his hold. "Please, do not let go just yet. I fear sleep still. I still see being tortured in my sleep."

Arthur squeezed his hand again. "Go to sleep. I promise not to let go." Arthur lay there watching Merlin drifting off to sleep. He slowly fell asleep himself feeling whole again.

It had been two weeks since they sent the horses back to Camelot. They were past the Forest Esstir. They were now far north. The villages were speaking more and more about men suddenly going missing. They kept following the trail. Merlin urged them to stop and make camp. It was still early in the evening.

While Merlin was setting up camp, he informed them that the path has split. Percy and Gawain going in separate directions. It was not something that they were looking forward to having decide. However, Merlin took it out their hands.

He had just finished making their dinner. "Arthur and I will follow the path that Percy took. Lance and Galahad will follow the path Gawain took. I have a feeling that they will end in the same place. However, we cannot take that chance."

Arthur and Lancelot looked at Merlin. "Are you sure?" They spoke at the same time.

"Yes, it is the way it must be. I do not like separating. You will have to extremely vigilant. Morgana is not using magic to capture these people. I believe it is Saxons and slave traders. I am sure that she is using magic to keep anyone from escaping the location for whatever reason."

Everyone ate in silence. Soon, everyone but Merlin was going to their bedrolls. Merlin rose and grabbed his bag. He sat back down by the fire. He started pulling items from his bag. "How much can that little bag hold?" Arthur came and sat next to him.

"It is spelled to be endless and to weigh as light as a feather. I could put your whole library in here plus Gaius' complete lab, books and potions and more." Merlin kept digging in his bag.

"What are you looking for? Maybe, I could help." Arthur asked.

Merlin looked at him. He wanted to see if he was serious. He seldom did magic around Arthur without Arthur asking. He never seemed to learn more about it. "I am looking for blue and yellow gemstones. I am sure that I packed them. I will also need two regular stones and two leaves. If you want to gather them. The leaves cannot be brittle, so they will be hard to find that winter is settling into the area."

"I can go look for them. What are they for?"

Merlin could see the genuine curiosity in Arthur's face. "It is so that when we separate Lance and Galahad can have protection around their camp from invaders. It will enable them to sleep without keeping watch. They are not needed at the moment, because I cast the protection. I am one with the elements; however, they are not. I need to infuse my magic with the items. They will then only need to lay them and ask for the protection. The elements will sense my magic and respond accordingly."

Arthur looked shocked and amazed. "Finally!" Arthur grinned at the smile on Merlin's face. He looked at the six gemstones in Merlin's hands. "Actually, find three stones and three leaves. I am going to make a set for you as well. Once they are spelled. They will be able to be used repeatedly. I think once I get back, I will make a set for everyone at the Round Table. It will also make it easier to track them through the elements. Do you think they will accept them?"

"I am sure they will most grateful. I know I and the queen would be." Arthur grinned. Arthur watched as the others items moved back into the bag of their own accord. He just shook his head. "I am going to find those items." Arthur rose.

"Take Excalibur. You will have to leave the protection of the circle." Arthur nodded. He rose and placed the sword around his waist. He watched Merlin reach into the fire and speak, "Eilimint de Dóiteáin. I meas agus a lorg leis an Djinn, rialóir na tine. Iarraim go bhfuil tú freagra a thabhairt agus a chosaint, agus an méid seo a leanas na daoine, mo chairde: Sir Leon, Sir Mordred, Sir Lancelot, Sir Eylan, Sir Percivale, Sir Tristan, Sir Lamorak, Sir Kay, Sir Galahad, Sir Bors de Ganis, Sir Bedivere, Sir Gaheris, Sir Gareth, Sir Geraint, Sir Gwaine, Arthur, Merlin, Mithian, Gaius, amhail is dá mba siad dom."

Merlin turned and handed him a torch from the fire. "It will provide light and protection outside of the circle." Arthur smiled and took the torch. He went in search of the items.

While Arthur was gone, Merlin set to work. He repeated the same words except changing the name of the element and ruler but only used the names of Arthur, Lancelot and Galahad. He rose and walked over to the two knights. He was grateful that they were not too far apart. It seemed to be a silent agreement that they would all remain close together.

Merlin placed a hand over each knight's chest. As he spoke, he had a few drops of his blood fall on each of them men. "Iarraim chun Caomhnóirí na gnéithe uile, agus an Mháthair fad chun féachaint ar agus an dá i n-chuardach a chosaint. Iarraim go bhfuil aon draíocht a úsáidtear orthu a léiriú agus a sheoladh ar ais chuig an seoltóir le grá agus cineáltas. Iarraim go bhfuil aon poisons éifeachtaí a laghdú. Iarraim go mbeidh mé in ann a rianú dóibh tríd an sciath. Iarraim go ach mé in ann seo a bhaint sciath agus cosaint. séala mé iarratas seo le mo thoil, hintinn agus fola." He watched as shield seemed to form around the two men.

He knew that when Arthur returned he would ask to perform the same on him. He became slightly angry with himself for not doing this before. He knew that Arthur needed all the protection that he could get. He knew that Excalibur was not enough. He felt the tears slide down his face. He knew what he needed to do to restore the balance within himself.

Merlin knew that it was just over an hour, since Arthur left. He was beginning to get worried. He was about to call upon the ruler of fire to locate him, when he felt Arthur approach the protection wards. Arthur smiled at him as he handed over the six items. Merlin took them. He careful wrapped the leaves around each stone. He waved his hand over them. Arthur watched the gold light fill the night and noticed that each leaf blended into the stones. He watched as Merlin spoke similar words.

Merlin looked in Arthur's eyes. "There is something that I would like to do. I cannot be with you always. I would like to put a shield around you. It will not protect swords and such, but would reduce the effects of magic and poisons. Some magic would be able to repealed. It will also eliminate the physical attraction and leave the feelings and love of being soul brothers. It would also enhance your ability to communicate and locate me more easily and with less concentration even if I am near death like before it would not take a desperate plea to reach out to me."

Arthur did not even have to think. He remembered how it felt to communicate with him like the druids. He liked to be able to feel out and know that he is still alive without have to think clearly. "Yes, I am okay with it. What do we need to do?"

Merlin indicated for Arthur to stand on one side of the fire. Merlin stood on the other side of the fire. "Fire is not just for protection or to strengthen passion but is also used to purify. You will feel a slight cut form on your hands. We will drop several drops of blood into the fire, when it sparks we will grasp each other hands over the fire and our blood will mingle blend into each other. We must maintain eye contact. Do you understand, and are you okay with it?"

Arthur reached his hands over the fire. "Yes, I understand and agree." Arthur felt the warmth of the fire. He looked into Merlin's eyes as they became a bright gold.

Merlin placed his hands on either side of Arthur's. Neither flinched as cuts dripped blood over the fire, and it began to rise. Arthur became lost in the feelings surrounding not paying attention the words that Merlin spoke. "Fuil a fola! Soul a anam! Iarraim Djinn rialóir na tine a purify an banna agus saoire mothúcháin ach ar cheart go deartháireacha de anam agus fola fós! Iarr mé chun cumarsáid níos éasca agus rianú ó mo dheartháir dom agus vice versa! Iarraim air cabhrú liom Caomhnóirí na gnéithe uile, agus an Mháthair fad chun féachaint ar agus mo dheartháir a chosaint. Iarraim go bhfuil aon draíocht a úsáidtear orthu a léiriú agus a sheoladh ar ais chuig an seoltóir le grá agus cineáltas. Iarraim go bhfuil aon poisons éifeachtaí a laghdú. Iarraim go ach mé in ann seo a bhaint sciath agus cosaint. Táimid séala iarratas seo lenár toil, intinn agus fola."

Fire rose and wrapped around the joined hands. Both feeling the heat move through their bodies. Lights of red, blue, yellow and green wrapped around the hands and spiraled up the arms and then around each of their bodies. Soon, it was followed by a bright a light that faded around Arthur. The fire died down to its original form. Merlin released Arthur's hand and swayed for a moment.

Arthur looked at his hands. There were no scars. It was like it never happened. It felt weird and amazing at the same time. I sense your closeness. What did you say?

Merlin laughed. "Communicating is much easier too. For a while you may have to remember to speak aloud till you are used it. As to what I said, is simple: Blood to blood! Soul to soul! I ask Djinn ruler of fire to purify the bond and leave only feelings which that of brothers of soul and blood should remain! I ask for easier communication and tracking from my brother to me and vice versa! I ask for the Guardians of all the elements, and the Mother of all to watch and protect my brother. I ask that any magic used on them be reflected and sent back to the sender with love and kindness. I ask that any poisons effects be reduced. I ask that only I be able to remove this shield and protection. We seal this request with our will, intent and blood."

Arthur just smiled. "It think we ought to get some sleep more will soon be upon us." Merlin nodded and both of them went to lay down. They were both a sleep instantly.

Morning came quickly. They quickly ate breakfast and set about breaking down the camp. Merlin called the three men over to him. In each of their hands, he placed the items he spelled. "These are to be place at the edge of your camp: blue stone to the west, yellow to the east, the regular stone to the north and you build your fire to the south not in the center. As you lay each item down you must say the following: I ask the Guardians of water (for blue), air (for yellow), earth (for the stone) to protect this camp from foes and any magic or person intent on harm as friends of Emrys. You will say the same while building the fire. Do you understand?" They all nodded their agreement. They each started down the separate paths.