Aftermath intro plays, with scenes featuring the eliminated contestants sliced in.
Kim
"You're a lying, cheating, *beep*. You are so going down at tonight's vote."
Marty
"Vague allusions? Uh oh, we're in trouble."
Zidane
"You know what? No. No, I'm not saving Kuja."
Light
"You were a worthy foe Miss Everdeen, but once again, brains beat brawn. I win."
Ash
"Hey, I can hear that motor too. And it's coming from the other side of the wall. In fact, I think it's coming from the other end of this rope."
Intro finishes, and cuts to a stage with Geoff and Bridgette. The crowd is booing them.
"Whoa, dudes, what's with all the negativity this time?" asked Geoff.
"I think they were expecting the finale this week," said Bridgette. "And now they realise they have to wait another week to find out who will win."
"Think about it this way guys: this builds the suspense even more," said Geoff. "In the meantime, you get another action packed episode of Total Drama All Stars Aftermath, our final episode for this season in fact."
"Wait, just for this season?" asked Bridgette. "So we're coming back next season?"
"Yep, you'll be seeing more of us in season two," said Geoff. "But before we worry about THAT season, we have to finish off THIS season. Tonight, you'll get to see interviews with the five eliminated contestants, as well as That's Gonna Leave a Mark, some never before seen footage, and whatever horrible creature I've organised this week to make our contestants tell the truth."
"But first, we need to introduce our Peanut Gallery," said Bridgette. "Which this week consists of all the contestants we haven't had on this show yet. So, tonight we have B." B drove out on a motor scooter, before taking his seat.
"DJ," said Geoff. DJ came out with a basket full of brownies, which he threw to the audience.
"The recently captured Ezekiel," said Bridgette. An intern wheeled out a trolley with Ezekiel bound and gagged, tied down by chains.
"Gwen," said Geoff. Gwen walked out onstage waving to the audience before taking her seat.
"Leshawna," said Bridgette. Leshawna came out onstage, doing a few terrible dance moves on the way.
"Noah," said Geoff. Noah walked out onstage, hardly enthusiastic about it.
"Scott," said Bridgette. Scott came out, still in the trauma chair.
"Sierra," said Geoff. Sierra walked out, and as she sat down pulled out a laptop and started typing something.
"And finally, Zoey," said Bridgette. Zoey walked out, with war paint on her face. "Zoey, any particular reason for that face paint?"
"It makes me look fierce," said Zoey. "And I don't care if that's alright with anyone."
"Umm, okay?" said Geoff. "So guys, what have you thought of the season so far?"
"Haven't seen a single episode," said Noah. "Frankly, I've been avoiding anything to do with the show since the end of World Tour."
"Well, I've seen every episode like ten times," said Sierra. "And honestly, it's obvious to anyone who knows Total Drama how this is gonna end. Honestly, why else would it be getting posted on two different websites?"
"Readers, please disregard that comment," said Bridgette. "We need to bring out our first guest."
"Right on," said Geoff. "A main player in Katniss's powerhouse team, he was eliminated for doing the one thing everyone thought he would do: rescue a princess."
"In his defence, it did turn out to be a dude," said Bridgette. "Ladies, hang on to your bras, our first guest is Zidane." Zidane walked out onstage, waved to the crowd, and sat down. He then produced a bra from behind his back. Bridgette looked alarmed, then checked herself. "How did you get that?" she demanded. "We haven't even made physical contact."
"Next time, take your own advice," said Zidane.
"That doesn't make any sense," said Bridgette.
"Neither does half the other stuff in this series," said Zidane.
"So Zidane, fifth place," said Geoff. "How does it feel to get so close, but so far?"
"It sucks," said Zidane. "I didn't know refusing to do the challenge would get me eliminated, and I only just missed out on beating Light. But at least he's gone too."
"How do you think Katniss will do in the finale?" asked Bridgette.
"She'll win, no problem," said Zidane.
"No problem, eh?" asked Geoff. "Would you like to say that in our segment, Truth or Fang?"
An animation plays with the words Truth or Fang, which then gets eaten by Fang.
Fang walked out onstage, and flashed his teeth at Scott. Scott's chair started beeping rapidly, and he wheeled himself offstage as fast as he could.
"Oh, that's right, Fang's the one who put him in there," said Geoff. "Well, Zidane, be honest, Katniss will win with absolutely no problems, right?"
"Exactly," said Zidane. Suddenly, Fang lunged at him. "Well, okay, Bart's crafty and capable, but Katniss is strong, smart, and adaptable. Plus she's killed a bunch of people. How could she not win?" Fang relaxed his attack at this.
"There, isn't it much better telling the truth?" said Geoff. "Speaking of which, you'll have some explaining to do to your call from home."
"Wait, you don't mean . . ." said Zidane as the TV lowered itself from the roof. When it connected, Garnet's face appeared, and she did not look happy.
"Zidane, what the hell is this?" she demanded.
"Dagger, baby, I can explain," said Zidane.
"Oh, this'll be good," she said.
"Dagger, believe me, I never thought you'd find out," said Zidane.
A long silence followed. "Is that it?" she said, sounding so calm, it was worrying. "When you get back here, Eiko and I will summon the full wrath of Alexander on you." The TV disconnected and went back into the roof.
"Yikes, that's normally reserved for preventing the destruction of the city," said Zidane.
At this point, Ezekiel managed to gnaw his way out of his gag, though he was still tied down. "This is bogus, eh," he said. "I need that money more than them."
"Dude, your last bank statement shows you have sixteen digits in there," said Geoff. "Your great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-gr eat-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-grea t-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great grandchildren are set for life."
"But, but, I want it," said Ezekiel. It was then that he lifted his beanie slightly, and some hair fell out.
"Hey Zeke, you okay man," asked DJ.
"I'm fine, why?" asked Ezekiel, his skin slightly greener than normal.
"Uh, no reason," said DJ.
"Okay, we need to move on to our second guest," said Geoff. "Due to our method of getting him here, we only have three sec . . ." At this point, the DeLorean appeared onstage at exactly that moment. Marty and the Doc opened the doors to see the crowd before them.
"Damn it, how does this keep happening?" asked the Doc.
"You keep not paying attention to our producer when he screws around with the time machine," said Geoff. "Now, security?" Two large security guards dragged the protesting doctor away.
"I suppose I have to rescue him again, don't I?" said Zidane, getting up and following them offstage.
"So, Marty," said Bridgette. "You were one of Light's main supporters . . ."
"I guess so," said Marty.
"What do you mean, you guess?" said Geoff. "You outright helped him almost all season."
"I wouldn't say I helped him that much," said Marty. "I mean, I helped him vote people off and stuff, but other than that I only really helped him because I thought he'd win. When I was sure he didn't need me anymore, I was going to try and turn the others on him."
There was a loud gasp from the audience. "Wait, so you weren't as evil as people thought?" asked Bridgette.
"Evil? No, I was just looking out for myself," said Marty. "And if the Doc didn't show up when he did, I reckon I would have made it too."
"Geoff, do you think he's serious?" asked Bridgette.
"He must be. Fang's not Scottifying him," said Geoff. "Well Marty, let's go to your call from home." The TV descended from the roof again, and Jennifer's face appeared on the screen. Though something was off about her . . .
"Marty?" she asked. "What is this? Why do you look like a teenager?"
"Never mind that," said Marty. "Why do you look like a forty-something year old?"
"I am a forty-something year old," she snapped back at him.
"Oh, wait a second," said Marty. "That's present day you, while I'm still 1985 me."
"Jennifer, what's going on in there," called someone. A second later, future (I mean, present day . . . or something) Marty came in. "Who are you talking to?" He looked over at the camera and saw himself on the couch. "Wait, this is . . ." His eyes widened, then collapsed where he was.
"Huh. I'd have thought he'd remember this happening, therefore should be prepared for this," said Geoff as the TV disconnected. "Well, it can't be helped. Shall we move on to That's Gonna Leave a Mark?"
"Sounds good to me," said Bridgette as the TV started showing clips.
The first part showed Katniss swimming towards the shore, when Ash fired at the spot C4. A large wave washed over her, carrying her to shore and leaving her upside down in the sand.
Chris and Chef had just poured the tabasco down Bart's throat, causing Bart to spout flames. The camera then shows an intern who had been standing in the way turn to dust.
The next clip showed Milhouse getting pushed down the stairs by Bart. Shortly after he landed, he was trampled by Ash on his Donphan.
Light was parachuting to the ground. It looked like he was about to land on the trampoline, but then a gust of wind blew him into the side of the communal washroom. He then fell through the roof of the septic tank.
And finally, the footage showed Ash being dragged by the bulldozer, over rocks, trees, uneven ground, and just about every other unpleasant thing you can imagine.
"Oh man, that has to have hurt," said Geoff.
"Not as much as our next guest's pride after she was booted," said Bridgette. "The only contestant Light screwed with more than Katniss, please welcome Kim." Kim walked onstage and sat down. "So Kim, how are you?"
"I'm fine," said Kim. "You know, other than the whole missing out on the money because of Light thing."
"What did you expect was going to happen?" asked Noah.
"I . . . it's just that . . . he was really hot," said Kim.
"That boy Alejerkdroed you," said Leshawna.
"Yeah, he truly did," said Kim.
"You know I can hear you right?" said Light from just offstage.
"Shut up Light," said Kim, taking off her shoe and throwing it at him. It struck him right between the eyes.
"Nice shot," said Geoff. "But Kim, seriously, why did you fall for him like that? I think he even admitted he was the bad guy a couple of times."
"Can we please stop talking about that?" asked Kim. "I'm already angry at myself for what happened. I just want to put it behind me and forget about it."
"Okay, fine," said Geoff, looking at his notes. "Huh, apparently all my questions were related to the Light incident. Bridge?"
"Mine too," said Bridgette. "Let's move on to your call from home." They turned their attention to the TV, which was still playing footage of Ash being dragged along by a bulldozer. "What the? Has that been playing the whole time?"
"Apparently," said Geoff. "Man, he went through a lot." The footage cut out, and then Ron's head appeared onscreen.
"Yo, Kim, what's up?" asked Ron.
"Hey Ron, what's up?" asked Kim.
"Amazingly, not much," said Ron. "Draken, the Seniors, Monkey Fist, they've all been really quiet. Unlike the Kimunicator." Ron lifted the Kimunicator up, which was beeping.
"Ron, how long has it been doing that?" asked Kim.
"It started almost the second you left," said Ron.
Kim sighed. "That's probably Wade trying to tell you something bad has happened," she said.
"Oh . . . that would explain why we're being conquered," said Ron, stepping back to reveal a window, where scenes of destruction could be seen.
"Okay, get out there and cause a distraction," said Kim. "I'll be back as soon as possible."
"Wait, Kim, one more thing," said Ron. "What's up with you and Light?"
"Goodbye Ron," said Kim, and had left before the TV had even risen to the roof.
"How's she gonna get home that quick?" asked Geoff.
"Apparently she has helped a lot of people in the past," said Gwen. "One of them will probably give her a lift."
Suddenly, there was a loud tearing noise. Everyone turned to see Ezekiel had broken free of his chains, and was slobbering on the floor like an animal. He made growling sounds from his throat as he ran backstage. Scott then returned to the stage still beeping, before noticing that Fang was still there and going out into the audience.
"Okay, that was weird," said Bridgette. "Didn't Ezekiel get his monsterism taken care of?"
"Yeah, that is weird," said Geoff. "Hold on, wait . . . our producer says they have some footage that might explain everything."
"Will we be able to fit it into the show?" asked Bridgette.
"Yeah, we'll just replace the never before seen footage of the final challenge with this," said Geoff. "When they find it, that is."
"Well, let's give them some time to find it by moving on to our next guest," said Bridgette. "The most recent elimination from the show, and currently holds the world record for longest distance being dragged by a bulldozer. Please welcome Ash." Ash walked out and sat down.
"Well Ash, how's it feel to be the bronze medallist?" asked Geoff.
"It's horrible," said Ash. "Katniss is competing in the finale against Bart. I'm sure she can win, but what if she doesn't? At least she could have tolerated losing to me."
"I really have to ask about those animals you keep stored in those tiny balls," said Bridgette. "The Pokémon I mean, not . . . never mind."
"What about them?" asked Ash.
"Surely that can't be comfortable for them," said Bridgette.
"They've never complained," said Ash.
"They can't complain, they can only say their name at best," said Bridgette.
"They haven't turned on me for doing it," said Ash.
"Actually, we have this footage of your Charizard . . ." started Bridgette.
"There's no time for that now," said Geoff. "We need to move on to Ash's call from home." The TV descended from the roof again, and Professor Oak appeared on the screen.
"Hello Ash," said Oak.
"Hey Professor," said Ash. "Thanks again for the quick transfer device. I really needed just about all my Pokémon at some point."
"No problem Ash," said Oak. "I'm sure you brought it up plenty of times throughout the show."
"Ahhhh . . ." started Ash.
"You didn't?" said Oak. "Oh well, as long as you caught a few new Pokémon for me to study."
"Ahhhh . . ." started Ash.
"You didn't do that either?" said Oak. "What the hell have you been doing all this time?"
"Ahhhh . . ." started Ash. "Quick, hang up." The screen cut out and went back into the roof.
"Well, with that done, let's go on to our never before seen footage," said Bridgette.
"As you guys just saw, Ezekiel's gone feral . . . again," said Geoff. "But we have the footage that tells us why. Let's have a look." The TV screen dropped down from the roof again (why they didn't just leave it there is a mystery).
The footage starts just after Ezekiel was fired from the cannon. He was flying through the air towards a ship settled out at sea. "How long do we need to keep this stuff here?" asked one of the sailors on the ship.
"Until that McLean guy tells us we can come back," said the captain. "He's paying good money to keep the island radiation free until this season ends. Then we go back, dump the stuff, and he continues getting funding from several nuclear power plants so the island can be their dumping ground."
Just then, Ezekiel crashed onto the ship, landing in a vat of nuclear runoff. The footage cut off there.
"That's it?" said Ash.
"Yeah, that's it," said Geoff.
"And you couldn't just tell us that's what happened?" said Marty.
"It's much more entertaining to watch someone get hurt," said Geoff. "Especially when it's Ezekiel."
"Yeah, I guess," said Marty.
"I got him," said Zidane, coming out with the Doc.
"Alright Marty, time to go home," said the Doc, dragging him back into the DeLorean. The car drove offstage, and disappeared, leaving a trail of flames in its wake.
"Did the producer screw with it again?" asked Bridgette.
"Yep," said Geoff.
"Alright, we can't put it off any longer," said Bridgette. "Time for the final guest of the night, the one that has gotten the most feedback in this fanfic and was strategically put at the end of this episode so you'd read the whole thing, please welcome Light." Light came onstage to the sound of tons of booing. He simply smiled and waved as he took a seat.
"Light, you are quite possibly the most hated contestant in Total Drama history," said Geoff. "What do you think of that title?"
"Well, that's a little harsh," said Light pleasantly. "I mean, only some of those contestants were intentional."
"So you're finally admitting that you did get rid of some people on purpose?" asked Bridgette.
"Not really any point denying it now," said Light. "Kim was clearly my doing, as was Wallace." A silence followed this statement.
"Wait, so you maintain that those are the only contestants you deliberately got rid of?" asked Geoff.
"Well, technically Hit-Girl too, but most of the team voted for her anyway, so that was more of a shared elimination," said Light.
"You're unbelievable," sighed Bridgette. "Let's see who's on the line for your call from home." The TV dropped down from the roof to reveal Light's father on the screen.
"Father," said Light, bowing in respect.
"Light," said his father. "Or should I say, Kira."
"Oh, come on dad, this thing is hardly canon to our own series," said Light.
"For the love of God, stop breaking the fourth wall," said Geoff.
"In any case, Light, you will be arrested upon your capture," said Light's father.
""Oh really? And when will that be?" asked Light.
Light's father checked his watch. "Three . . . two . . . one . . ." The back of the stage suddenly exploded, and a bunch of guys with riot gear burst in, grabbing Light and dragging him out, kicking and screaming.
"Well, that was unexpected," said Bridgette. "And we're nearly out of time. B, any final thoughts?"
B opened his mouth to speak, when suddenly . . .
"Nope, outta time," said Geoff "Who will win next week's big finale? What will their challenge be? And what have we got in store for season two?"
"Find out the answers to the first two next week, and the other one the week after, right here, on Total Drama All Stars," said Bridgette.