July 11th, 1976

"Wait, what if we made the office space his bedroom?"

"Because… actually, I suppose we can afford to lose the office."

"I don't know what you two love birds were thinking, having an office and a thinking parlor." Stan said with a roll of his eyes as he bit into his burger.

"We were thinkin' that Ford's work is bound to explode all over the house, so we might as well try to keep it contained in some of the rooms. Plus he's too stubborn to give up the thinkin' parlor." Hephzie teased, poking him in the ribs and making him squirm.

"I thought you liked the thinking parlor, darling?" Ford asked as he peered down at the blueprint in front of them.

"I do." Hephzie quickly made clear. "I think with the fireplace it'll be real nice n' cozy. We can get some rockin' chairs n' a couch n' make the parlor a good place to sit on cold winter nights."

Ford hummed with closed eyes as he thought about what his wife had just said. The idea of sitting by the fire, on a warm couch, next to Hephzie, under a blanket, while the harsh winters dumped snow around a snug cabin was too good of an opportunity to miss. He opened his eyes and said, "So, we're in agreement about the thinking parlor?"

"As long as you quit calling it the 'thinking parlor'." Stan joked.

"Everythang looks fine to me," Hephzie said as she borrowed the white pen and tapped on the blueprint. "So if we make the extra office space Stan's bedroom, that'll leave the storage room, guest bedroom, n' second bathroom on the second floor n' everythang else on the first floor."

"The living room, dining and kitchen space, the master bedroom and bath, the thinking parlor, the first bathroom, and Stan's bedroom." Ford pointed out.

"This looks amazin'!" Hephzie awed as she sipped her soda. "I can't believe soon this'll be our actual home."

Stan read the blueprints upside down as he ate his dinner from a fast food joint in Youngstown, Ohio. The word "home" had been foreign to him (and that was saying a lot considering he knew a handful of languages) for so long that hearing seemed… weird. But a good weird.

They got a late start heading for Oregon since the married couple had to pack up their things and drive Shermie, Daisy, and Franklin, and then Fiddleford and Madeline to the airport that morning. That took up half of the day and Stan could tell that Hephzie and Ford were still a little tired from the wedding, so they stopped after about six hours in Ohio to grab dinner, then hit the road before staying in a motel for the night. While outside a fast food joint to stretch their legs and enjoy the summer evening, Ford pulled out the blueprints for the house they were building to make some adjustments to the plan for Stan. He tried not to feel too weird about it, and in all honesty, having his own room in the blueprints for the house made the whole experience of joining them feel more real.

It was a little hard to read the plans upside-down, but he could've sworn it looked like there was going to be at least two basement floors, maybe three. He was about to ask why, but when he thought about it the answer came to him. Poindexter always needed a lot of room for his work. His ideas and thoughts exploded in a room, and a multi-floor basement would be ideal for experiments and in-depth investigations of weird creatures. Stan also didn't feel like bringing it up; years on the streets taught him when and where to ask certain questions. With a shrug, he popped the last of his burger into his mouth and listened to his brother and best friend chat aimlessly.

July 12th, 1976

They managed to make it from the east side of Ohio all the way to Omaha, Nebraska that second day of traveling. The trip certainly was interesting, with all three of them riding in the Stanmobile, pulling Ford's car behind the red Diablo, and having Hephzie's motorcycle strapped to Ford's car. Most of the luggage that had been shoved into the two cars were personal items (with no one owning any furniture) and unopened biral gifts for the newlyweds.

Hephzibah, Stanley, and Stanford took turns driving and taking naps in the back. Stan wished he had a camera handy when Ford and Hephzie fell asleep in the back seat, laying on each other and snoring softly, but oh well. There'd be plenty of chances for blackmail in the future.

July 13th, 1976

Late that night, the three finally arrived in Gravity Falls. It was dark out, so they didn't get to enjoy their first glance of their new home very much, but Stan did laugh at the sign that they first saw when they arrived in the small town.

"Welcome to Gravity Falls! Nothing to see here folks!"

"We'll see about that!" Stan challenged as they entered the small town to rent out a small apartment until the house was finished being built.

July 14th, 1976

The three were exhausted from the move, but Ford was too excited to sleep in, as instructed by his wife, so he got up early to meet up with the constructor who would be building his house. He met up with a red-headed lumberjack named Manley David Corduroy at Greasy's Diner. Ford helped himself to some coffee while Manley Dave told him about great places to build his home. After meeting up with Stan and Hephzie, they managed to get their hands on the perfect spot in the middle of the woods, a bit distant from town but not too much where they would get hopelessly lost. Just enough to ensure privacy. Ford bought the land for a great price from Northwest Realty and Manley Dave approved of their blueprints and he and his son, Boyish Dan, got to work right away.

July 15th, 1976

Thank God one of Ford's favorite movies, Earth of the Monkeys, was having a marathon on TV, so Hephzie managed to get him to rest and catch some much-needed sleep on the couch while watching the movie series. In the afternoon, he and Hephzie went to check on the progress being made on the house, expecting only the ground to be done, but no.

The newlyweds' jaw dropped when they saw a skeleton of their dream home being made. The floor was nearly done and the beams of the house were already in place, even some of the tiling was up.

"Incredible!" Ford awed as he led his wife inside the project to get a good look at the significant amount that was already done. "At this rate we'll be moved in by the end of next week!"

Boyish Dan paused his work on the wood floors and wiped his sweaty forehead on his arm. He looked about twelve years old, but was a well built kid with red hair, tall body, muscular arms, and his voice was already deep. "Good afternoon, Mr. and Mrs. Pines." Boyish Dan greeted politely and stood up to shake their hands. Hephzie grinned at being called by her new last name. "What do you think so far?"

"It's amazin'!" Hephzie complimented, her eyes wide with wonder as she could practically see her home all around her. "Ya n' your father did all this in a day?"

"Yes, ma'am."

"I'm very impressed." Ford said with a nod of his head.

The two soon left Boyish Dan to keep on working, holding hands as they looked out at the woods that they now called home. The trees shaded them nicely as the hot summer sun gave life to the forest. Birds chirped and they could hear all the life that lived in the woods, like the rustling of leaves under deers' hooves or the squeaks of squirrels.

Hephzie took in a deep breath and let it out, enjoying the pine-scented fresh air, a very nice change from the smogged atmosphere of Glass Shard or the polluted air of San Francisco. "I'm glad we decided to move here. It's just… I feel like… I dunno. I feel like we really fit in here, ya know?"

Ford looked over at his wife as he rubbed her hand. "I know what you mean. Can you even imagine what we'll find here?"

"No, I…"

A giant crushing sound made Ford flinch so bad his glasses threatened to fall from his face and Hephzie whipped towards it. Just in time, the newlyweds saw Ford's car being crushed and dragged away by a giant brown hand, twice the size of Ford's poor car and soon gone without a trace.

Hephzie only awed at where the hand was mere minutes ago.

Ford readjusted his glasses and grinned. "Bingo."

July 24th, 1976

Ford was right. That morning, he, his brother, and his wife moved into their new home. They didn't have much to move in, so the three went down to the furniture store and had a surprisingly fun time "adulting" and buying furniture they would now use for most of their lives. Stan wanted loud, obnoxious furniture, but Hephzie and Ford had plain taste. All Ford requested was that they had a wide variety in color. Hephzie only asked that it was all comfortable.

By that afternoon, the furniture had been moved in, boxes littered each room, and dust and dirt crowded the floors, but everyone was too distracted by the excitement of Moving Day to care. The living room was filled with a nice TV, a yellow-and-orange-plaid armchair that Stan had picked out, and a matching couch in the carpeted side of the room with a beautiful stone wall. Hidden behind a generic painting of the woods was a safe that Ford insisted be built in. Off to the side of the living room was a small tax-desk and a card table. The room was decorated with a fish-tank full of clownfish and royal blue tangs. A record player and radio machine sat on a high shelf that was owned by Hephzie; underneath the shelf was a box full of records. The kitchen and dining area was plain and simple, which was perfect considering no one really knew how to cook like Ma. In fact, one of the first rules in the new house was that under no circumstances was Hephzie allowed to cook anything; she had a bad history of burning everything she touched and no one really felt like losing their new home due to a fire.

The thinking parlor was handsomely furnished with a velvet antique couch, two rocking chairs, a large working desk for Ford, and a smaller one for Hephzie. A soft rug covered the wooden floor by the fireplace and on the back porch, three more rocking chairs sat in the warm sun. The master bedroom held a nice king-sized bed, two dressers, two nightstands, a three-sided mirror, another fireplace, and another big desk for Ford. There was where the married couple were now, as Hephzie made the bed and Ford sat at his desk, organizing notebooks and documents.

"It's a bit of a nuisance to unpack and then have to repack in no less than a week." Ford stated as he glanced over to the two suitcases that held the newlyweds' necessities.

"I guess." Hephzie replied as she placed the pillows at the head of the bed. "But we'll have a few days to relax n' enjoy the house n' then be on our honeymoon!"

"I'm glad you had the idea to wait." Ford said as he stacked some books on his desk, like a tiny shelf. "I can't imagine how chaotic all of this would have been if we had just arrived from Scotland."

"Eh, Stan could've handled it." Hephzie said with a shrug.

Ford rolled his eyes mockingly and resumed his work.

"Have ya made up your mind 'bout the car?" Hephzie asked.

"Yes, my dear. As useful as it was on the move, I'm confident that I won't need it much anymore. If I'm going to be exploring the woods for anomalies, I have a feeling it's best done on foot. And if I really require transportation, I'm sure Stanley won't mind if we use the Stanmobile."

"Alright, but I'd feel better if we put some money aside just in case."

"Of course." Ford said and looked up at his wife. "Which reminds me, now that we have an address to change to, I'll pick up some change-of-address forms the day after tomorrow."

"Oh, I can do that for ya, hon." Hephzie volunteered. "I've gotta go to into town n' change my licence n' name."

"Thank you, but I need to go to the bank anyhow. We still need to create a joint account and move everything into the new account."

"Right," Hephzie said with a nod, remembering another important legal thing they had to do now that they were married. "Okay, so do we want Chinese or pizza?"

Stan knocked on the master bedroom's door quickly before opening it and looking concerned. "Uh, you guys might wanna see this."

Hephzie and Ford followed him out to the back porch and it took a moment to see what Stan could see, but soon the young couple found themselves looking at some sort of weird owl-like creature. It was the size of a barn owl and had the body and talons of one, but it had utters. It also appeared to have the head, eyes, and snout of a cow. The weird creature had big round eyes that stared at the three humans.

"Sweet Lord," Ford breathed in awe and wonder. "Is it some sort of hybrid?"

"If anyone thought their parents were weird, that'll put 'em in their place." Hephzie muttered quietly.

The creature pursed it's lips and let out a soft, "M-Hoo!" It opened it's white wings with black spots and flew off into the night. It was a minute or two before anyone said or did anything, but, of course, Stan was the first to open his big mouth.

"So are we getting Chinese or pizza tonight?"

August 9th, 1976

The honeymoon to Scotland had been amazing in every way. Not only did Ford and Hephzie manage to track down silkies and leprechauns, but they saw a performance of the play Hamlet, visited many pubs and enjoyed sampling beers and dancing nights away, and touring the grassy hilltops and mountains that decorated the ancient land. As nice as their vacation was, it felt good to be back and get to work.

In his bedroom, standing at his desk, Ford placed a dark red blank journal on his workspace and began to make it his own. He placed his six-fingered hand on a sheet of special golden paper he had made and traced his birth defect carefully with a sharp knife, cutting the paper. When that was done, he used glue to press the golden handprint on his new journal, and having a feeling that it was the first of many more to come, Ford labeled the handprint with the number 1, using black ink and a small paintbrush.

To let the glue and ink dry, he left his bedroom and followed the sounds and smells of bacon cooking in the kitchen. Dressed in a dress shirt, tie, and trenchcoat, Ford sat at the table where Hephzibah was wolfing down her breakfast. He chuckled at her excitement, understanding her enthusiasm. Today was her first day working at the Gravity Falls Hospital as a part-time nurse, specializing in newborns, more specifically infants born prematurely, and those born drug-addicted or suffering from any other disabilities or special circumstances. She had always watched over the newchildren when volunteering, but now she had permission to attend past basic needs like rocking restless babies to sleep. Stan had just sat down with two plates of bacon and eggs when Hephzie looked up at her watch and jumped up from her seat.

"I gotta go."

"Doesn't your shift start at ten, my dear?" Ford asked as he checked his own watch. It was only eight-thirty.

"Yeah, but it's a thirty-minute drive to the hospital from here n' what if there's traffic? What if I get lost? What if the systems aren't workin' n' I have a hard time clockin' in? What if…"

"What if a meteorite crashes into the town and destroys us all?" Stan asked with a roll of his eyes.

Hephzie smacked him over the head teasingly as she drained her mug of coffee and put her dishes in the sink. "I gotta go get ready." And she ran off to get ready to leave.

"Is it just me, or does Hephzie have a few screws loose?" Stan asked with a cocky grin as he munched on his over-easy eggs.

"She's just enthusiastic about her first day of work." Ford said sympathetically. "I too find myself looking forward to the work ahead of us. I want to first become familiar with the terrain, so I was thinking we could drive into town and check the outskirts of the woods."

"Whatever you say, Sixer."

Hephzie ran past the kitchen frantically and slipped her black leather jacket on over her white button-up and she asked, "Stanford, have ya seen my keys?"

He lowered his mug of coffee and pursed his lips to try not to chuckle. "Sweetheart, they're in your hand."

Hephzie looked at her right fist and did indeed find her keys. She sighed and hurried into the kitchen. "Right. I should be home around seven. Don't wait up dinner on me in case I'm late. I love ya." She kissed Ford goodbye, ran for the door, grabbed her helmet from the coat rack, and was gone.

The Mystery Twins spent all day out on the town and actually had a good time. They didn't come across any new anomalies, but they did become much more familiar with Gravity Falls and it's people. Stan managed to get the phone number of a waiter at Greasy's Diner and Ford was fascinated by the museum and town hall, deciding to check those out tomorrow.

When they went home it was about six o'clock, so they went ahead and cooked spaghetti for dinner and it was just about ready when they heard the door quietly open and close. Ford paused at setting the table and poked his head out into the hall to greet his wife, but frown with concern when he found her silent and slow as she took off her helmet and jacket and hung them up.

"Hephzibah," Ford said and walked up to her. "How was work?" He asked, having a good idea already that it had been a horrible first day.

Hephzie finally looked at him and nodded casually. "It was good."

"Are you sure?" Ford asked and took a step closer, his hands hovering by her shoulders to comfort her if she wanted him to do so.

Hephzie took in a deep breath through the nose and managed to create a half-convincing smile. "M'fine, just… just had a long day."

Ford nodded, understanding how draining the first day of work can be, and kissed her in greetings. "Well, dinner's ready."

Hephzie followed him into the kitchen and happily sat and ate. Stan asked what happened on her first day, but Hephzie got quiet and asked the men what happened to them. The two sensed her want to steer the conversation away from herself, so they chatted away about their day exploring the town and Hephzie listened as she ate her dinner. When the meal was finished, the woman in dreadlocks stood up and said, "I'm gonna go ahead n' go to bed."

Ford looked at her more concerned now than ever. "Are you feeling alright?" He even placed the back of his hand on her forehead to feel if she was hot.

Hephzibah chuckled and said, "M'fine, I've just got a lot on my mind. Plus, I didn't sleep well last night. Too excited, ya know? Now that the adrenaline's gone…"

Ford didn't buy it, but he nodded his head, kissed her goodnight, and let her go. He glanced at the silver watch she had given to him for his eighteenth birthday and sighed. It wasn't even eight o'clock yet.

Hephzibah laid in bed forever, her back to the door, but she didn't fall asleep. Her mind was too full to even think about drifting to sleep, but she didn't want to do anything else but lay there. It must have been late when Stanford finally came into the room for bed. He was silent preparing for bed as Hephzibah pretended to be asleep. She could hear his drawer opening for his blue-striped pajamas, she could hear him wash up for the night in their bathroom, and she soon felt the covers over her lift for a moment as he climbed into bed. She felt a kiss being planted on her cheek and then she was left alone for the rest of the night.

The next day at work was a bit better, but Hephzibah still felt numb, but the minute she saw that cabin, that home that held her husband and best friend, she smiled a true smile and walked right in like all was right with the world. Over dinner and a game of poker, it felt like everything was back to normal, until night came and Hephzibah awoke around two in the morning from a nightmare.

Sitting up, she covered her mouth with her hand in case she was too loud and woke up her husband, but Stanford laid on his right side peacefully, facing her in his sleep as he snored quietly. Hephzibah smiled at seeing her husband sleep and ran a hand through his hair softly. She had heard about this happening to new nurses and doctors, but she thought she was tougher than this. She thought she was stronger than this. What kind of a wuss was she? Could she even do this job? Only two days in and she was already having nightmares!

Hephzibah got out of bed slowly as to not wake Stanford and she left the room, unaware that when she closed the door, he heard it and opened his eyes. He sat up when he saw that his wife wasn't in the bed with him and he slipped on his glasses to see if maybe she was in the bathroom or still in the room. In the moonlight, he could see that Hephzibah was gone and so he sighed, slipped on his slippers and robe over his pajamas, and went out to comfort her.

It didn't take long. The living room and kitchen were empty, so Stanford opened the back door and found her rocking in a chair and watching the clouds drift by the moon. He sat in the rocking chair next to her and looked out into the woods alongside her.

"Did I wake ya?" Hephzibah asked.

"No." Stanford said lightly and made up a quick white lie. "Bathroom."

"Hm." Hephzibah only looked out into the forest and sat quietly, a fair sign that something was wrong. She wasn't exactly a chatterbox, but she was a talkative young woman, a social butterfly, and a musician. Even if she didn't feel like talking, she would be humming as she watched the woods, but she was silent. Up until she muttered under her breath, "I ain't cut out for this…"

"What?" Stanford asked gently, his wife's voice had been so quiet it was hard to detect exactly what she said, and even if she had said what Stanford thought she said, it didn't make any sense.

Hephzibah sighed and held her head. "What was I thinkin'? I can't be a doctor. I ain't cut out for it."

"Now, hold on, darling," Stanford said and leaned forward in his chair. "It's only been two days. You're getting used to a new place and a new job. I'm sure it is hard, but all first days tend to be difficult."

"Did ya have someone die in your arms on your first day at work?" Hephzibah asked bitterly, not even meeting his eyes.

Stanford swallowed. That made sense. If Hephzibah worked with newborns and was aiming to be certified to specify with newchildren under abnormal circumstances - such as premature births, drug-addicted babies, and orphaned children who weren't even a day old yet - it should come as no surprise that her first day had shocked her beyond belief. "Well… no, I didn't." Stanford admitted and held her free hand. "You've chosen a very… admirable career, Hephzibah. There's a reason why the competition for your job is miniscule. I'm sorry that it's a difficult job and that you'll see the best and worst of human beings, but for what it's worth, I'm very proud of you and your line of work."

Hephzibah gave a heavy sigh like the whole world was on her shoulders. She sat up in her chair, letting go of her head, and she gave Stanford's hand a soft squeeze. "Thanks."

Stanford nodded with a smile, glad to help his wife, and he turned his gaze back to the clouds as they swam past the moon above them. "Besides, I think you were destined to become a doctor. Ever since we were children. Don't you remember all those years of helping Stanley and I every time we were injured? When the gang jumped up? Or our boxing matches? Heck, you once fixed Stanley's broken nose!"

Hephzibah chuckled humbly, remembering each time she would stand in the bathroom and use the first aid kit to fix up the boys from run-ins with Crampelter and his cronies, or give them ice packs when Demetri's cousin and his gang had jumped the twins, or during their junior year of high-school when Stanley had a huge boxing match and left with a medal and a broken nose. She can distinctly remember marching into the boys' locker room, not caring what she saw or what anyone did, with Stanford right behind her, and she stood in front of Stanley as he sat on a bench and bit down on a towel so Hephzibah could snap his nose back in place.

Hephzibah didn't realize it until Stanford pointed it out, but he was right. She had always tended to injuries and helped people; for years it had just been the twins, but now she was ready to help more people.

September 2nd, 1976

Stan fought against the rope tying him to his brother with all of his might, but the binding was just too tight and it was hard to move without elbowing Ford in the ribs. Stan looked up at the monsters who had captured the twins, tied them up, and was preparing to offer the humans as offerings to their leader, Leaderaur. Stan used to think that these Manotaur guys were a lot of fun, but now these assholes were going to offer him and his brother as sacrifices to some demigod or whatever the hell he was.

Ford was looking around the cave they were in, searching for some sort of way out of this one. In the one month of investigations they had already solved quite a few problems, like escaping from a flooding cave and taking down rabid rabbits. Even as children, the twins always managed to get out of whatever trouble they had gotten themselves into, and so in order to keep calm, Ford kept that in mind to try to think his way out of this situation, but it looked like brains wasn't going to earn him and his brother their freedom.

"You just had to bruise his ego, didn't you?" Ford snarled in annoyance with his brother stuck to his back.

"Hey, it's not my fault the guy's a wuss!" Stan snapped.

Some of the half-man half-tour creatures got on their knees and others used their horns and bones as drums for the arrival of their leader. Ford and Stan froze in anticipation of the beast's arrival, and when he stepped out of the tunnel and appeared, the Pines twins wondered if they were meeting the New Jersey Devil again. This Manotaur was at least two stories tall, maybe even three, extremely muscular, red-skinned like leather, and was decorated with many battle scars, including one over his eye, the same eye gray with blindness, but the other eye was sharp. Ford swallowed nervously and Stan couldn't think of a snarky comment.

"Off-er-ing! Off-er-ing!" The Manotaurs chanted as the meal for their king drew closer.

"Okay, Stanley," Ford said in a trying-to-stay-calm-but-failing-miserably tone. "Just in case this is it, there's a few things I'd like to get off of my conscience. Last week, I ate one of Hephzibah's oreos and told her you did it so she retaliated by eating your toffee peanuts!"

"Okay, I admit it!" Stan yelled. "Yes, I accidently threw a red sock in with the whites and now all of her bras are pink! I was weirded out by washing her clothes, okay?!"

"Remember when we were in the fourth grade and you were assigned to look after Squeaks for the weekend? Well, he didn't die of old age. I… may have accidentally killed him."

"You WHAT?!"

"I'm sorry! I gave him a tomato and he ate the leaf, which is apparently harmful to hamsters!"

"STANFORD! I can't believe you killed Squeaks!"

"I'm sorry, Stanley!"

"So I guess you won't be mad at me when I tell you that I was the one that threw your book in the ocean, not Crampelter?"

"You WHAT?!"

"I was mad about the stupid homework and thought I had thrown my textbook, but I had grabbed your book instead and didn't know until it was too late!"

"I had saved up for months to buy that book!"

"I know, I'm sorry!"

This could have gone on for some time, but Leaderaur peered down at the humans and growled. The twins braced themselves for impact of sharp teeth crushing them, but a strong yell from the mouth of the cave drew everyone's attention.

"Stanford Filbrick Pines, ya've a lot of explainin' to do, young man!"

The twins looked to find Hephzie standing at the entrance of the cave, furious with her hands on her hips and a scary look on her face. For a moment, Ford was happy to see her, but then terrified for her life, but then terrified for his own life when he saw how angry she was. The Manotaurs freaked out over the presence of the female human. One Manotaur screamed like a little girl, and another pointed and yelled, "WOMAN!" The Manotaurs stepped backwards to the walls of the cave, making a clear path to the tied-up twins.

Hephzie marched over to them and yelled, "I asked ya to do one thang today! N' I come home to find out that the dishes STILL aren't done?!"

Ford winced as he realized his fatal mistake. In the midst of everything that had happened today, he had completely forgotten that his wife had asked him to do the dishes. "Hephzibah, sweetheart, I'm sorry, but I got a little tied up."

"Don't ya make puns at me, mister!" Hephzie snapped as she finally reached the men and she caught Stan snickering. She smacked him over the head and yelled, "You're not off the hook, either, Knucklehead! Ya didn't even bother to do the laundry n' now I'm outta clean clothes for work!"

Stan also winced at remembering that he had totally forgotten the chore he had been assigned. "Right, sorry…"

"Not as sorry as you're gonna be when I drag your asses home!" Hephzie yelled and bent down to try to untie the ropes.

Leaderaur growled and pointed at the woman. "Who do you think…"

"Oh, nu, uh!" Hephzie snapped her fingers and stood up to yell at the giant monster. "Nu, uh! Don't give me that tone or you're gonna get it!"

"I…"

"SIT DOWN!" She snapped and the leader did as he was told quick as he could, bending his hooves as he sat. "Boy, do NOT test me! Don't ya dare think ya can touch my boys n' get away with it! You're lucky I'm gonna be too busy kickin' these two idiots' asses to kick your ass, or else I'd yank out that foul tongue of yours n' use it to hang ya from the ceilin'!"

Leaderaur paled.

Ford stared with a mixture of fear and amazement over his wife.

The woman in dreadlocks turned back to the humans and demanded, "Now I want an explanation!"

"Well, we…"

"Shut up, don't even look at me!" Hephzie snapped at Stan and both men bowed their heads low. "I can't believe ya two! Completely disregarded… look at me when I'm talkin' to ya!"

Stan leaned in on his brother. "Do you have any idea what we're supposed to do?"

Hephzie bent down and rummaged through Stan's jeans for his pocket knife to cut the men loose, muttering things like "gotta do all the work" and "irresponsible" and other wifey things to complain about. Eventually she found the knife, cut the ropes, and helped the twins up. She then whipped around the crowd of Manotaurs still cowering at the walls of the cave and yelled, "N' if any one of ya even touches a hair on their heads, you'll have to answer to me n' I'll make ya rue the day ya were born! UNDERSTAND?!" A few of them muttered in agreement, but that wasn't good enough. "SPEAK CLEARLY WHEN YA TALK!"

"Yes!" The groups squeaked.

"YES, WHAT?!"

"Yes, ma'am!"

"That's better." Hephzie said calmly and led the way out of the cave. Ford and Stan followed her tenderly, but Ford had one last thing to say to the monsters.

"That's my wife, suckers." He snarled and then left.

Once out in the clean afternoon air, Hephzie sighed happily, face relaxed and tone calmed, and said, "That was fun. Let's go home."

"Wait, hold up," Stan said and cautiously asked, "You're… not mad?"

"Nah, not really." Hephzie said with a shrug. "But those thangs are Manotaurs, right? So I thought, 'Well what scares a man more than anythang?' N' then it hit me: an angry woman."

Ford blinked at her like a startled owl. "Oh my God, Hephzibah, that was brilliant!"

"Oh, shut up n' let's get goin'." Hephzie said as she blushed slightly and led the way down the mountain side. "Y'all still gotta do those chores."