AN: Like the Bunnyman Bridge, the Jersey Devil is pretty location-specific. BUT Gotham has weird shit. And poor Bats is just asking for urban legends to crop up around him. Sorry, Bats!
Blame enchantersnight over on Ao3 for this.
Forbidden Moons-The life of science is full of failures.
Jonathan hates the train. It smells, it's riddled with people, and the floors are sticky.
But mostly it's the people. He hates them all, but unleashing mass terror on a train can only lead to disaster.
It's crowded tonight, more crowded than it usually is, and he's confused for several minutes before finally spotting someone sporting a band t-shirt. Concert, of course.
I am a generator of hatred, he decides. It has no bounds.
Kitty tightens her grip on his arm and mutters, "If one more of these people bumps into me, they're losing a limb."
"Low profile." he mutters back. "Remember?"
She huffs and dodges a running child before it can smack into her.
"Little brat."
Karma is sweet-the train takes a hard curve and the child is thrown to the floor. It begins to screech and Jonathan wonders if it's so wrong to ask for Breeding Licenses to become a Thing. Common sense, that's all-'what is acceptable public behavior? A) running B) screaming C) A&B D) standing quietly'.
Yes, that would be nice…
BOOM!
The lights flicker and die and he spends a few seconds coming up with creative swears before inching towards the back. That sort of noise from the top of the train? He knows who that is. The general public might not, but the criminal underworld knows damn well who it is.
This is going to be ugly and probably painful.
The train speeds on towards its destination-three minutes, that's all-and he eyes the back doors. Everything's fine, he can't get in-
CRASH!
A window shatters and the Dark Knight himself swoops into the train. Jonathan can barely make him out, but the running child has no such problems.
"The Bat!"
Yeah, no shit, you little brat-
There's the flash of a camera and Batman stops and turns. Jonathan can feel the disdain from here.
A man after my own heart, almost…
He is not distracted for long and, with two minutes still to go, he advances on them.
"We can talk about this-"
"Crane."
"I haven't done anything for two weeks at least-"
"Don't lie to me."
If he's upset over the junkie, Jonathan doesn't know what to tell him.
"Look-"
Batman's hands fly out and grip them both, one in each. He didn't want to have to do this, but-
"Hey!"
More flashes.
"Keep flashing, it stopped him earlier!"
What the hell?
Everyone on the damn train has their phones and tablets out and on 'nighttime' setting-it's like a sea of strobe lights.
"The power of Christ compels you!"
Oh.
Oh, dear god. That stupid legend, 'Gotham's Own Jersey Devil' or whatever…
If he weren't being watched, he'd be clapping with glee.
He is being watched, though, which means he'd better make this good.
He's going to have to wash his mouth out when he gets home.
"O-our father, who art in Heaven-"
Some brave-or drunk, or suicidal-soul leaps forward. Normally Bats wouldn't be phased, but he's not expecting interference and he stumbles. A little. For him.
But that stumble is all they need-especially when the train shudders a stop and knocks everybody off-balance.
They pull free and run towards the flashing phones. Batman moves to follow, but mob mentality has kicked in now and the others cluster together.
"Return to the place from whence you came!"
"Get back to Hell!"
They fall onto the platform and book it.
Once they skid into their current lair and lock the door, they stand in the hall for several minutes before bursting out laughing.
"We'll have to get a tabloid tomorrow-"
"They prayed at him!"
"Somebody flashed the cross, I saw it."
"Oh, my god!"
Still chortling, they make their way into the kitchen for vodka. They've barely clinked their shot glasses together when there's the sound of the door being kicked in.
I hate the goddamn Batman!
THE END