Beta-ed by LabraBell
"What are you doing?" Naruto said, flipping over to see Sasuke better. He was henged into someone with brown eyes and lighter hair. Naruto frowned as he trailed his fingers over a lock of brown hair. It was soft, but it should be black, and Sasuke's eyes were supposed to be as dark as the night sky.
He didn't like this version of Sasuke. He wanted the one he had grown up with, not the one who had to henge in order to survive.
"Going to sleep." Sasuke said
Naruto shook his head, letting his hand fall. There was something oddly comforting about Sasuke being here. It had been so long since they were together—so long since Naruto left—and now that he was here, with Naruto, laying in the same bed, Naruto wanted nothing more than to keep Sasuke rooted here with him.
He shook his head. What a selfish desire. Every second Sasuke spent here was time Orochimaru could use to discover his favorite person was within reach.
Sasuke scooted close enough that his warm breath ghosted over Naruto's neck, and it smelt as though something were rotting.
"Did you forget to brush your teeth today?"
Sasuke blinked, jerking his head back. "What?"
"You're breath stinks."
"My breath— that's what you want to talk about right now?"
Naruto craned his head until his eyes met the ceiling. Did he want to talk about Sasuke's breath? Certainly not. Did he want to answer any of Sasuke's questions? Absolutely not.
But he couldn't get rid of Sasuke either.
"Dammit." He said, heaving a deep breath and pressing his palm to his face. A sob got caught in his throat—where it came from he didn't know— and Naruto swallowed it before he could make a sound. "Why are you doing this to me?"
Sasuke furrowed his brows. "What am I doing, exactly?"
"You're confusing me." Naruto said, "I mean, you're here, and I'm glad you are. But you can't be here. I don't want you here, and I'm not going back, and Orochimaru wants your body, and you're here but you shouldn't be here and I don't want you to leave."
Sasuke blinked, shaking his head slowly as he sat up. The blankets fell off his shoulders. "I'm not leaving."
At least one of us can be confident.
"I know that." Naruto said, voice cracking. Why was he so upset? It wasn't like Sasuke couldn't hide from Orochimaru. It sounded as if Tsunade trained him specifically for it. So why, of all the things that he could feel, did he want to hide in a dark corner and cry. "I know that."
Sasuke sighed, raking a hand through his hair. And Naruto flipped over until his back faced Sasuke. For now, he'd let Sasuke stay, if only to satiate his selfish desire for a friendship Naruto destroyed long ago. But come morning, Naruto would put all his energy into making Sasuke leave.
He had to. Sasuke wasn't safe here.
No one was.
"What did Konoha do to you?" Sasuke said.
Naruto clenched his eyes shut. Nothing too bad. Sarutobi had stripped every ounce of agency from Naruto's mind, and the villagers ignored him until he believed himself invisible. It was nothing truly horrible—not like the things Orochimaru did to people—but it was enough to ensure he never wanted to go back.
They would never let him be free.
They would never grant him his own mind.
They would never let him be a civilian.
"It doesn't concern you." Naruto said, "just go to sleep, and keep your stinky breath away from my face."
Sasuke plopped down with a thud, and Naruto curled his body, lashes filled with water as Sasuke moved to get comfortable.
This wasn't meant to happen.
Sasuke was supposed to hate him.
He was supposed to hurt Naruto.
"I brought you something." Sasuke muttered, then dropped someone small into Naruto's arms. It was soft, and Naruto squinted his eyes open to see that a stuffed dog lay in his arms. It had duct tape attached to areas that had ripped and torn, and stuffing exploded from the dogs severed ear.
Naruto blinked owlishly. That was… his first stuffed toy. The one he'd bought after years of wanting one.
He bolted upright, eyes glinting as warmth spread across his chest. He held the dog close to him, and for a second, he wondered if stuffed toys could be strangled to death.
"You brought her with you?" He said, voice lilted as he whipped his head to Sasuke. Eyes wide, Naruto breathed in deep, looking at the ragged dog as if it was the best thing on the planet.
He never thought he'd see any of his stuffed toys again.
This stuffed animal was old. Over the years, Naruto had played with its ear so much it got torn off. There were rips and stains adorning it, and one of its beady eyes was hanging by a thread.
It wasn't the beautiful stuffed dog he'd bought years ago, but it was still his favorite.
And it was his.
No one could take his stuffed animals away from him.
"I couldn't bring them all." Sasuke said, "But this one looked pretty used, so I thought it might be your favorite."
Naruto held the dog to his chest. "She was my first. I've had her since I was seven."
A laugh bubbled from his throat. How long had it been since he had a moment of happiness? He couldn't remember. He might have been happy with Sasuke years ago, but that was a time almost forgotten.
"Thank you." Naruto said, pulling the stuffed toy closer to him, "I know I don't deserve this. Especially from you."
Sasuke frowned. "Why wouldn't you deserve it?"
Naruto opened his eyes. Wasn't that obvious? Of all the people in the world, he thought Sasuke would know.
"Because I left you." He said, "and I'm just a bad kid in general, you know? I don't deserve a lot of the things I have."
Like freedom.
Konoha certainly wouldn't have given it to him, but Naruto managed to take it even when so many people knew he was undeserving of such things.
It was the best decision he ever made.
"I—um..." Sasuke said, mouth opening and closing. Naruto cocked his head. Did he say something wrong? Or did Sasuke lose the ability to speak coherently?
Had he become shy in the years Naruto had been away?
Naruto gave a small smile, keeping the stuffed dog wrapped in his arms as he grabbed Sasuke's hand. "Right now I love you." He said, "so until morning I'll stop pestering you to leave, okay?"
Sasuke shook his head, brows furrowed and frown still in place. He pressed his fingers to his temple, closing his eyes briefly before opening them again.
"I'm not leaving you." He said, "so don't pester me at all."
"Why didn't you tell me?" Sasuke said.
Naruto glanced up from his meal. Delia had been kinder than usual today and brought him breakfast in bed. She'd been surprised to see Sasuke, and had quickly gone back down to bring him something to eat.
She'd inquired about him, too, and Naruto told her Sasuke was a traveler in seek of shelter, and he'd come in at a bad time determined to become a servant.
She frowned at that, explaining that this place was not all it was cracked up to be.
Sasuke didn't listen. He wanted to stay.
Naruto hated it.
"The mission is top secret, so—"
"That's bull. The council only asked you because they thought that seal was meant for you."
Naruto looked down, shrugging. "I don't know."
"You don't know." Sasuke repeated, tapping his foot impatiently, "is that the best answer you got? When a maniac wants me to join him, I would appreciate some warning."
"I'm sorry."
"Stop saying that, already. I want to know why you didn't tell me."
Naruto furrowed his brows. He could say it was because he wanted to protect Sasuke. But that wasn't entirely true.
He didn't tell Sasuke to protect him.
He did it so no one could stop him from leaving.
"I'm sorry." He said again, "I don't have an good answer."
He grabbed his stuffed animal, holding it to his chest. It was as soft as he remembered, and he gently petted the fabric it was made of.
He didn't want Sasuke here.
He didn't want to go home.
"Then give me a bad answer." Sasuke said.
Naruto shook his head, wrapping his arms around his stomach as he clenched his eyes shut. His hands quivered, and the constraints of air seemed to grow even tighter.
His reasons were so selfish, and Sasuke would hate him even more than he already did if he told the truth.
You deserve it.
But he didn't want it.
"I'm sorry." He said. "Really, I am. I never wanted to hurt you."
Sasuke heaved a deep breath, hands folded over his chest and raising his head until it met the ceiling. "You keep apologizing." He muttered.
"Well, yeah. I did something bad."
Sasuke pressed his fingers to his temples. "I'm not mad at you." He said. "Well, I am, but not as much as yesterday. I just want to understand why you didn't tell me."
"I already told you that I—"
"Don't know. Right. You're a horrible liar, Naruto."
Naruto flinched, taking half a step back. They were still in his room, and he sat down on his bed, eyeing his many pillows, and feeling the familiar sting of tears in his eyes.
He didn't usually cry this much.
And he didn't even know why he was so upset.
"I'm sorry." He said.
"Stop saying that."
"Sorry." Naruto said, cringing as he remembered that his apologies were the reason Sasuke was mad. He had to stop doing that. Sasuke was mad enough as it was. If apologizing only made that worse, then he needed to shut his mouth.
"You're really not going to tell me, are you?"
"I'm—"
"Don't say you're sorry."
Naruto snapped his mouth shut, an apology on his tongue so he could apologize for saying sorry so much.
Pathetic.
He couldn't even accomplish one simple request.
A request as easy as not saying too words.
Weak.
"Fine. I guess I don't really need to know, anyways." Sasuke said, "what do you usually do around here?"
Naruto's face lit up as he told Sasuke about how he feigned being a traveler when he got sent out to get rid of some lurker. He explained how kind the people were in a neighboring village, and he told Sasuke all about his time helping those in need.
He didn't explain that Orochimaru was the one to hurt the people that Naruto helped.
That kind of information just wasn't necessary.
Man, this chapter was fun to write. Feel free to tell me what you thought. Constructive criticism is always welcome.