Rose is standing in front of my closet, one hand flicking through the shirts and skirts, her other hand holding a pop-tart.
"I don't think you're gonna like anything in there." I tell her as I twist the ramen onto a fork, bringing curly noodles to my mouth.
I watch as Rose slides each hanger to the side, and I'm glad that I've already got the perfect outfit picked out for tonight.
She holds up a white tank top, spinning around to me. "Can I cut the bottom half of this off?"
I slurp a few noodles into my mouth wondering where this is going. "Sure."
She walks over to her bag, pulling a black mesh crop top out of it. "Scissors?"
I hold up a finger, placing my bowl on the nightstand and head downstairs.
The faint scent of weed still laces the living room from the joint we smoked earlier. We both crashed for a few hours right after... a much needed nap. When we woke up we were both so hungry that we ate everything in the kitchen that wasn't nailed down. So, no more weed for me, it makes my appetite crazy.
As I enter the kitchen I toss a pizza box, some ramen packages and two pop-tart wrappers in the trash and then I dig through a few drawers to no avail.
After perusing the console table in the living room, I realize the only other place that the scissors would be is Charlie's office. Most likely tucked in there along with all of the memories that I've tried to avoid seeing. Like his shotgun for one. His police badge and jacket. His files. All of the things that have been put away, out of sight, out of mind.
I walk down the hall and approach the door, turning the knob slowly, taking a deep breath and exhaling.
The sun's rays filter in through the blinds, making the room bright and open. It's not a dreadful room full of dark sad things like I've been visualizing since the day I shut the door. It's just a quiet room, with white walls, filled with office furniture, medals of achievements, stacks of files, and a closet full of Charlie's things.
On my walk over to the desk, I spot a picture of a much younger me with Charlie. It touches me with happiness, bringing a smile to my face.
A post-it note falls to the desktop as I peruse the shelves above and when I go through the middle drawer, I find tons of things, none of which are scissors.
Pulling open the side drawer, I push aside a stapler, a few pens, and a San An P.D. coaster. There's a yellow notepad there and I lift it, looking underneath… my eyes landing on a large pair of scissors.
As I close the drawer I'm drawn to the writing on the yellow pad. I open it back up, enough to see the entire page.
A date is scribbled just above a name, which Charlie wrote in all capital letters, and I notice the date written in the corner is recent, just two weeks before he died.
There are a few random phrases written around the page, a large arrow pointing to another date, February 15, 1992, and a few names of places scribbled to the side.
But it's that name that my eyes are drawn to.
Written in black and underlined in the center of the page:
ESME CULLEN
I think about what this name and these dates, places and phrases mean for a moment before closing the drawer, touching the picture of me and Charlie and turning to leave.
There are only so many people with that last name, and only one set, in particular, that live in this town.
Edward Cullen and our last conversation swirl through my mind as I climb the stairs. It would be so much easier if he could just be normal. If I could just walk up to him and carry on an easy conversation. If he didn't continually put up a wall.
But he's not normal and we've really never had an easy conversation.
So, I stick with my original game plan and hope for the best tonight.
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The top is down and Rose is driving. We're following behind a brigade of people. Alice, Angela, Saki and Mike are in the car in front of us, a few more of Angela's friends, Emily, Sykoria and Julie, ahead of them, and Jacob's crew in front of them.
Brigg's absence doesn't go unnoticed by Rose nor me, but neither of us let on about it. The vibe is sunny and super mellow and our playlist is basically perfect.
I smile at the two clowns in the backseat ahead of us.
Saki is turned around mouthing lyrics, throwing his hands like a rapper, a mean mug on his face. Mike is mooning us. They're idiots.
I laugh as Rose flips them off over her steering wheel.
When we've been on the road for almost 30 minutes, euphoria finds its way from the tip of Rose's finger onto the tip of my tongue. This time in the form of a round pink tablet with a lightening bolt stamped into it.
Ecstasy was always around back home, but I never took any, so I'm curious to see what it will feel like. Rose assures me that it's nothing like what we took yesterday. She says it's one hundred percent chill and all love. So, I wash it down with strawberry soda and lie back in the passenger seat.
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About half way there, we all pull off to the side of the road.
We stretch out, taking pictures of the beautiful hills, the picturesque sky.
The guys horse around and have a drink before getting back on the road. Rose and I aren't drinking, we're both too high on euphoria to even think about alcohol. I love it. I love Rose, the sun, the sky, the hills, the Mercedes, this trip. I love everything right now.
Jake hugs Rose and whispers something in her ear, smiling and then he comes up to me. I circle around, jumping on his back, and he runs holding onto my butt making me bounce high. I laugh as he spins me around and brings us to a stop at Rose's car.
He looks good today as always, still wearing what he had on earlier, a look that I love, but something's a little different now. He's not leaning in for kisses and he's not as handsy. A distinct change in chemistry... I dunno. More of a friend vibe between us this afternoon, not like we normally are.
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Rose talks about how hot Jake is on the ride. She begs me for the sex details and I give her all of them. Jake's not extraordinarily large or long, he just knows how to fuck. Among other things. Which I tell her all about as well.
When she questions me about our relationship, I tell her the truth. "We're just friends."
She lifts her shades and looks over to me. "So no feelings involved, just sex?" She asks in a surprised tone.
"Exactly." I pull a piece of gum from my bag, handing her one as well. "Girls' got it get it somewhere, right?"
She laughs, "How much longer you think that'll last before you catch feelings?"
"I can promise you that won't happen."
"Uh huh." She smiles a devious smile at me and blows a bubble, popping it quickly. "You just say the word and I'll take him off your hands."
I reach over and nudge her with my elbow. "Shut up, slutbag."
She continues to smile.
What she doesn't know is I couldn't be more certain about not being with him like that anymore. Besides my attraction to his looks, it's purely physical. Nothing under the surface. I know it's going nowhere with us. I just need one more kiss from him tonight, in front of Edward and that's all.
Rose turns the sound up and we both stretch our arms out, cutting our fingers through the wind. The beat of the music sinks deep under my skin.
This feeling. This music. The air.
Everything is good.
Rose turns to me with a huge smile, her hair blowing in the wind. "It's good shit, right?"
My face says it all, but I speak up. "It's so good."
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The sky is aqua blue, illuminated from below by the sun, and sprinkled with puffs of neon pink and soft purples that float over us. We've driven so far into the golden desert sands that there isn't a thing in sight… just the setting sun, the sand, the hills and the drag set up in the distance.
We follow the line of cars ahead until we find a place to park.
I step out of the car, feeling so light and lifted— the energy outside, alive and vibrant.
I smile so high I feel it in my tummy.
Beyond all the parked cars, there are tents, racing trailers and people speckled all around. In the distance, there are two paved straight ways with barriers running along each side. I watch as two cars run side by side, one quickly pushing ahead of the other. The sounds of the engines roaring can be heard over the music playing.
As we approach, crowds of people are standing and sitting atop any surface around… talking and carrying on.
The music and the energy is crackling through, as the groups of people ebb and flow. People walking from tent to tent, hanging out, placing bets, people dancing, drinking, people camped out in chairs and on top of the trailers the cars came in. Coolers are open and music plays from huge speakers under a large makeshift screen, displaying different images that match the beat of the music.
The vibe is so alive.
We come to a designated spot among the crowds and behind us, there's a large trailer the guys are loading a white and red bike into.
Everyone's in a good mood, welcoming. I'm introduced to at least ten people right off the bat and they're all cool. Quil introduces me to Angela's friend, Emily, who smiles and shakes my hand. I like her immediately. Seth nudges me when he walks bye and winks. Alice points to the cooler and tells me there's waters, beers and sodas there for us.
I love it here. I love everything right now.
I look around seeing if I can spot Edward. I know he'll be here somewhere tonight and the tiny thrill of seeing him sits lightly in my stomach, flip flopping every few minutes or so.
The only thing that threatens my plans to put Edward Cullen in my pocket tonight, aside from the weird vibe with Jake, is Briggs.
He's here too.
He's two groups down, slapping grips and talking with the other guys. He's got a helmet in his hand, a large jumpsuit on… his hair's a little wild, not combed to its normal fashion. Looks like he might've just finished racing. I didn't know he was into that, but it fits.
Rose immediately notices him when she sees me looking his way.
Even with the euphoria running through me, I can still feel the tension in the air between Briggs and I. And I wonder if he can feel it too. It just sucks that we can't interact like we would normally. I'm sick of pretending. But he's not making any moves to end it, so.
I look at him until he can sense it, and lift my fingers in a wave, my eyes smiling bright because he brings that out of me.
But Briggs is being typical Briggs and he's doing what he does in public. He's paying me zero attention. So disconnected. So controlled.
Controlled, however, is not a word I'd use for Rose. She's all the way turnt up. I suspect that she took more than me, because while I'm a puddle of love right now, I'm not on her level.
The guys all go over to where Briggs is and I hang back with the girls. Emily comes over next to me and she asks where I'm from. We talk for a few minutes before we turn to the tracks and watch a few runs.
"Which one do you think will win this time?" She asks with a big bright expression. I like her pretty starry eyes.
"I'm calling the black one."
"Me too."
We watch as the black muscle car pulls up to the line and a yellow camaro pulls up beside it. When the signal is given, they take off and Emily grabs my hand as we watch in excitement.
"Ooh, ooh, ooh! Yes!" We both jump up and down like we won something. We didn't, but still.
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After Emily and I walk around a bit, we come back to our spot. I notice Rose massaging Briggs' shoulders. He's out of that suit he had on, back in his typical black attire, and he's got shades on, so I can't see his eyes but something about it bugs me.
I guess it's the fact that she can touch him like that but he's set boundaries with me, so I can't.
I'm kind of sick of his boundaries. And the last thing I want to do is watch Rose rub all over him, so... I decide to go find Edward.
I call her over and she says something to Briggs before walking my way. I feel jealous and I hate that feeling.
When Briggs heads off in the other direction with Chaz, we decide to get closer to the action.
I make sure to grab Jake and ask him to come.
We all walk in a group towards the roar. Rose is a live wire, flirtatiously curling her arm into Jake's as we walk. He doesn't pull away but acts like he likes it instead.
I feel so good right now that I don't even care.
After we watch a few races, I split from the group to grab a drink. The minute I get it into my hands, some guy bumps into me, spilling half of it on the ground. He's super apologetic and I'm all chill, so it's no big. He offers to buy me another and when I insist it's cool, I look up and spot Edward.
He's right across the way, propped against a vanilla colored car that looks foreign. It's sleek and curvy and looks like it cost more than a house. I've never seen anything like it before. It's beautiful. He's beautiful. His skin is more tanned than it was the last time I saw him, making his eyes look even lighter than they already are. He's smokin' hot. And so is the familiar brunette right beside him. It's a small damper but I'm not dissuaded.
He doesn't look at her as she speaks to him, but turns to get inside the car instead. I watch, still walking as he drives a short distance toward the strip and parks beside a blue tent.
I walk closer, inching towards my group, which happens to be right at the start line, across from the tent that Edward just went in.
Jake and Seth are ahead of us counting their money, in deep discussion over what bets they're gonna put down. Rose is beside me with Alice, giggling about how nice Jake's ass is and it's not too weird because nothing could really bother me right now, but at the same time, it's weird. Alice just looks at her and says, "Can we not?" Like she's completely grossed out at just the thought.
I look back over, keeping tabs on Edward, and he's still there, signing something, the other two drivers from the last run, are coming into the tent.
He looks good tonight. Really good.
I saunter up to Jake, who's paying no attention to the track right now. He's still sorting through money and talking with Seth about which of the bike's they're gonna bet on later. When I nudge him he opens his arm, bringing me into him. I snuggle up close… being as flirty as I can.
I notice Edward walk back to the pearly car and he pulls onto the track.
My stomach does flips as I watch him grip the wheel from the sideline.
A flashy metallic red car pulls alongside him blocking my view. A guy stands in the center of the two cars, preparing each driver by guiding them up to the start line, and then he points at each one, waiting for a nod that they're both ready.
Once the guy in the red car gives a nod, he raises two flags high on each side, above his head and holds them there for a beat before quickly lowering them to the ground. The second his arms descend and those flags touch the ground, tires screech and they're off.
The loud roar and the sight of those two beautiful cars flying down the lane sends my adrenaline pumping.
It lasts just seconds, but the pearl white car that Edward drives quickly accelerates to the finish, beating the red by at least three car lengths.
It feels thrilling to see him race and win. It's a total turn on.
When Edward's car turns off the track and heads back toward us, I decide to make my move.
I pull Jake to the side, walking closer to the blue tent that I know Edward is coming back to.
"What's up, Angel?" His speckled mint greens glance my way as his hands trail up my arms. Out of my peripheral I sense the white car coming closer and when it stops and I hear the door shut, I go for it.
I smile up to Jake and pull him closer to me, bringing my hand to his neck, glancing in the direction of Edward.
He's not looking at me, so I jump up, onto Jake, wrapping my legs around his waist.
"Damn, girl." Jake grabs a hold of me tight and I lay a kiss heavy onto his lips.
Edward sees us just then, our eyes lock.
He's got on a white tee, and his blue button up billows as he stalks closer to the tent, eyes burning into mine. I flash a smile, through my kiss, over to him and I can see it physically take his breath.
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EDWARD POV
Filled with adrenaline and high off another win, I close the door, headed to collect yet another chunk of cash when I spot her.
The fact that she's just feet away from me, draped over Jake Black is blowing my mind right now.
It's hard to watch— a display that I wasn't prepared for— her legs hitched high, wrapped around his waist.
The sight alone sends shivers of rage through me.
His mouth is on hers, and her eyes, like two sharp fangs, are piercing into my own.
When I see the gleam in her eye, it's clear what she's doing.
I've met my match.
Like a quick punch in the gut, there's no air in my lungs and I grasp for recovery… trying to come up with something. Anything.
I try to remain calm, and I keep my eyes on hers until I have to turn to collect my winnings.
When I pocket my money and glance back in their direction, her lips are no longer on his, but her hands are wrapped around him and she winks at me as if to say game on.
On the outside, I'm cool.
On the inside, I snap.
Of all the guys in this damn town... it's gotta be that motherfucker?
A feeling something like coming unraveled washes through me and I can't hide the rage I feel. It's written on my face and I let my stare burn daggers through her.
The rivalry.
The need to possess her.
The need to push her away.
In this moment, I am insane.
I hear Brooke's voice coming closer, but I don't move. I challenge Bella to quit what she's doing through a look that communicates my ire.
She doesn't move away, but continues on, staring at me, a sweet seductive smile on her face while rubbing his back, kissing his neck. A little tiny wave of her fingers to me.
I can't fucking look away. And I also can't not.
Bella's played me at my own game and she held the ace while I just stood and watched her throw that motherfucker on the table.
Brooke catches me staring and I'm sure she notices the look on my face because she reaches up to me, asking me what's wrong.
I immediately flinch away. Walking off.
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I've scoped out the group she's with, and I've been able to follow them from across the tracks. I've caught her glances too. She's high on her victory over me, it's in her confident stare.
Unfortunately, there's not many places to hide out here in the open, but further out, away from the crowds, there are two large air conditioned trailers that have restroom stalls in them. Entrances on one end, exits on the other. I know she'll have to go soon, so I keep my eye out for her, just waiting to make my move.
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I see her break away from her friend, and she glances my way before she turns, walking away.
I set out immediately, pushing through bodies, following after her.
The goal is to make her mine, but my brain won't stop screaming that I can't have her, I'm not good enough for her. On one hand I want to whisper all the sweet things I think about her. On the other I want to say the dirtiest shit I can think of, after what she pulled back there.
As I come closer, I decide it doesn't fucking matter what I say. She obviously likes something about me if she's trying to get at me with that guy.
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BELLA POV
When I come out of the stall, I'm a little startled. Edward is there, standing in front of the entrance door, which he turns to lock.
The look on my face mimics the tension in the air. It couldn't be any higher… so thick it's hard to breathe, but I smile at him and say hello.
His eyes are wild, and his disposition non-chalant as he pockets his hands. I walk to the sink, looking at him and then back to the faucet letting the water rush over my hands.
He walks casually to the exit door, locking it as well, and then slowly, he saunters up behind me. My pulse picks up.
I look at my face in the mirror and see his cold eyes staring back at me. "You think I don't notice how you look at me, Bella?"
He's gotten sun from being out here today, his hair is shinier tonight, his eyes much brighter. Everything is starting to look a little softer, a glowy haze filter over everything.
I smile, because he's gorgeous and also, it's funny. He's played right into my hand. It's also funny because how have I been looking at him? Like he's a cherry popsicle? Like he's the devil? Like he's playing mind games with me for fun and now I've got one up on him?
"How do I look at you?" I give him an amused look as I pull a paper towel from the dispenser, drying my hands before tossing it.
"Oh, I don't know. Like you wanna wrap your lips around my dick every time you see my face?"
I turn around, leaning against the counter, staring up at him as he stands there, trying his best to get a reaction out of me.
It won't work though, because he doesn't offend me in the least, I know his angle now. That's what he wants. To provoke me. Push me to my limit so that I'll push him away.
"Is that what you think, Edward? That I wanna wrap my lips around your dick every time I see you?" I say to him in an amused tone, to which he's unaffected. He answers my question with one of his own.
"Is that guy you were with out there what you like? That's what turns you on?"
His finger reaches out to my shoulder, lightly caressing down my arm as he continues speaking softly, leaning closer with every word. "Did it turn you on, rubbing yourself all over that punk while looking at me?"
His finger lightly trails the inner crease of my arm and it not only feels erotic, it sends chills through me. My body reacts to him in a way I can't deny and I'm sure he can see through my top what he's doing to me right now.
When I look at him, I can feel the blush spread over my face. He's intimidating no matter what. Tall, handsome and sexy with his words. I like what he's doing, I don't know how to pretend I don't. But isn't that our game? One chases while the other runs?
"Are you trying get a rise out of me, Bella?"
He looks to me in question, his eyes burning. A feeling that he can read my thoughts at the moment burns embarrassment to the surface but at the same time a bigger picture unfolds.
Edward Cullen wants something from me or he wouldn't be here, locking us both in this restroom while our others are just outside. And either he hates that he wants me so bad that he can't control it, so he wants to push me away for good, or he wants me so bad that he can't take it any longer and has decided to show his cards.
Either way, one thing is clear. Edward Cullen wants me.
I watch his finger as he lightly touches me, and I find my voice. "Isn't that what you've been doing to me, Edward?" I look up to him in question. "I kissed my boyfriend, you saw. It's no big deal."
He chuffs with a dismissive laugh, his finger still moving where he guides it, from the sensitive crease of my arm, onto my naked torso, burning a trail around my belly button before settling like a hook into the waistband of my shorts.
"You're lying to yourself. What you did out there, while looking at me was deliberate. I saw through it, just like you saw through me that night at the party."
"So you're admitting to your mind games, then?"
He pulls me by my shorts until my waist meets his crotch. His large hand, spreads wide on my naked stomach, snaking around my side and up my spine as he presses me gently into him.
I feel nervous, excited, thrilled. Turned on.
"I'm not admitting to anything, I'm simply telling you that if you wanna get a rise out of me," He grabs my hand that hangs at my side, guiding both of our hands up my thigh as he brings them across my waist and out to his abs, slowly lowering over his belt, and onto his crotch, "Do it yourself, no more games."
His eyes are intense as he stares into mine, rubbing my hand over his length through his jeans.
My face is probably bright red but I don't pull away. He's hard. As a rock. And thick.
He softly grabs my neck, gently touching just under my ear and curves his hand around. His touch sends me pulsing. I'm dying to speed this up but want to pause right here, making this last forever.
He continues guiding my hand up and down over his length through his pants and he's fully erect and titanium steel.
I clench below at the thought of what I'm doing. He can have me right here.
Leaning into me, with his forehead to mine, he speaks while watching my hand stroke him.
"Is this what you've been looking for, Bella?"
He brings the side of his face against mine and I squeeze and relish in the feel of it.
"This right here?"
I pull his shirt up to feel his stomach skin to skin as he continues his slow, delicious seduction.
"I bet your boyfriend doesn't give this much to you, does he?"
He twists my hair around his hand, and pulls just until my chin tilts enough that he can run his nose along my throat. He traces from one ear to the other, pulling my body into his, pressing his hard into my soft.
"Does he fill you up and stretch you so wide that tears spill over but it feels so good that you ask for more?"
His words almost make my knees buckle.
He presses a soft kiss just under my ear, trailing his lips to the base of my throat. He delicately lays his tongue against my neck before placing a sweet, soft kiss there and then he brings my chin up to meet his eyes. "That's what you wanted the other night, huh? My tongue on your neck, not hers, right?"
I've got no voice. Just heat. All heat.
He lets go of my hair and places his hand on my neck, kissing my cheek softly before putting his mouth to my ear and speaking gently. "Does he bend you over and put his tongue on you, tasting you from the front all the way to the back? Tasting your rim, like you've always desired, but never been bold enough to ask for?"
He wins.
I'm completely defeated. He's won. Whatever this not-a-game is, he's won it. And I'm a livewire just dying for his kiss.
I latch onto him, grabbing his face from my neck, bringing his mouth to mine and we come together like forever has been holding us apart.
His open mouthed kiss falls so heavily onto my mouth that his top lip is above mine, and his bottom lip below my own. He doesn't just go in for a kiss, he goes in to devour me.
Once his hands meet both sides of my face, he's no longer rough like his words, but soft.
Almost a different version of Edward kisses me and it's so soft and sweet that my head spins. My heart lunges and my pulse pounds as his tongue lightly dances on mine, his soft lips pressing out sweet kisses between.
This feeling, this soaring adrenaline inside is so overwhelming, I don't want it to end. I don't ever want this kiss to end.
"So soft. So beautiful," his lips move from my mouth to my throat, across my collarbones and he picks me up, putting me on the counter, his hips between my legs, before his mouth meets mine again. "I've got to have you. I've thought about it so many times."
Just outside the door, I can hear people coming closer, their feet climbing the stairs and familiar feminine voices sound from the entrance door along with knocks.
He pulls back, pressing one last soft kiss, with his eyes wide open, and whispers. "How about you figure your boyfriend shit out, I'll figure my girlfriend shit out and we try this again?"
He backs away from me, touching my bottom lip with his finger to silence my reply before speaking again.
His eyes are serious and his tone matter of fact. "This isn't going away."
And then he looks in the mirror, running his hand through his wild hair, before speaking again.
"Don't go near him in front of me again."
And then he turns to the exit, unlocking it... leaving me here on the counter with a pounding heart and an aching need for more of his touch.
I listen as he steps outside and down the stairs, gone just as fast as he came.
There are girls outside knocking on the door so I hop down, turning to look in the mirror to see my smudged lips and I smile. I put my hand over my mouth holding in my excited squee and try to gather myself together before unlocking the door.
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A/N: Thank you so much for all of your honest feedback and reviews. Every word means something to me. I can't thank you all enough. Another big thank you to TLS and Nicficwhisperer for sending so many readers my way, I appreciate it.So, this chapter was originally 10K words, which obviously posed a problem. I edited and edited it down and came to 7K words, which again, problem. So I'll be posting the other half of this chapter in just a bit, or by tomorrow. Thank you for all the love, I would love to hear your thoughts on this chapter and any theories you might have about the name Bella found in Charlie's office. I hoped you enjoyed reading Edward's attempt to capture Bella as much as I enjoyed writing it, and we'll see what's going on with Briggs next chapter.