Here we are - sorry this took so long!
As usual, I do not own the rights to any part of the show, only my own original characters and plotlines!
Enjoy!
~~Previously on "To Carry On:"~~
~In Storybrooke, Paige has found some people she knew from the Enchanted Forest, but there are other people, dear to her, whom she has not yet found. Her father has gone into a "coma," which she fears may be a sleeping curse.
After the Dark Curse was broken and David convinced the people not to leave town, the shops and schools were re-opened, but Paige has decided that she will not go back to work for Mr. Gold. So when Gold gives her a property, it is actually a blessing for Paige, because she can now start her own business, selling the same blueberry goods that made her kingdom so successful in the world that was.
Paige is surprised to discover that the sex dream was "real," after a fashion, but because both she and Gold are having issues with their significant others, she decides that she will continue with the dream-sex for the time being. She is afraid she might be losing Mike, but after all, this is only a dream, right?
~In the Enchanted Forest, 8-year-old Norah knows better than to enter the woods alone, but a Will O' The Wisp entices her and she ends up lost. She meets Rumpelstiltskin, who offers to magically return her to the point where she entered the forest, in exchange for a lock of her hair.
Nearly nine months later, Rumpelstiltskin lures 6-year-old Eliza away from her mother, but Eliza senses danger and makes her way back. Rumpelstiltskin uses magic to trap the girl in some brambles, however, so that some of her hair is tangled and torn away when she escapes. Rumpelstiltskin gleefully snatches up that hair.
Approximately 13 years later, when Norah is 21, Rumpelstiltskin appears again, this time helping her to switch places with Robert, a potential prince, in exchange for the basket containing what scraps were left of their meal. The moment he returns to the Dark Castle, Rumpelstiltskin immediately plucks some of Norah's hair from the basket and compares the two samples. Disgusted by Norah's dreaminess and excessive niceness, Rumpelstiltskin immediately sets out for the Blueberry Kingdom, intending to collect a sample of 19-year-old Eliza's hair in the hope that she will prove a better prospect.
Eliza's brothers still live in the Hidden Manor, but she has been living at the castle with her father for nearly two years, learning how to run the kingdom. But as her father promised, the young princess spends a week or two with her brothers, at least three times a year…
Eliza's horse galloped down the road, and her long red hair streamed out behind her. When Sir Ryan caught up, he gestured for her to stop.
Still laughing from the sheer joy of riding, of the wind in her hair, Eliza slowed her horse, but she drew it out longer than she needed to, and had to circle back to where Ryan was waiting. "Honestly, Sir Ryan," she said. "It seems like you don't want me to have any fun!"
Ryan sighed, failing to hide his wry smile. "You are as much of a free spirit as your father when he was your age," Ryan said. "But we're coming close to the next town, and you know your father wants you to travel in disguise." He eyed her hair.
Aside from her thigh-length locks, she was dressed as the son of a somewhat prosperous merchant. If anyone asked, their story was that her father had set up shop in the large town by the castle, and that Eliza, called "Eli" to fit her masculine disguise, went to visit "his" aging uncle as often as possible. It explained why they passed through this town a few times a year, and by dressing Eliza as a boy, the king had hoped to make it even more difficult for anyone to discover her true identity.
It was Eliza's turn to sigh. "I do not think every person in the kingdom will recognize me. I doubt most of these townsfolk have even been to the castle. Besides, I seriously doubt that the danger to me will come from one of our own subjects, Sir Ryan!"
"You can never tell until it is too late, Princess. Please," he added. "For me?"
Giving another heavy sigh, Eliza worked her tangled hair into a rough tail at the crown of her head and twisted it into a messy bun. Ryan had pulled out a small box and opened it, holding it so she could reach it. It contained several hair pins; the knight never made this journey with Eliza without the hair pins. He knew her too well.
This was one of the times when Eliza was actually glad that her hair was so thin and fine. Had it been thick, which she sometimes wished for herself, the bun would have been huge. As it was, the floppy hat she had tucked into her saddlebag only just covered the bun without looking like she was hiding her hair. It was the sort of hat which was in fashion among young men who were not of noble blood.
"Ryan," she said, dropping formality. There was a hint of pleading in her tone. "Can we get the same rooms we had last time? I liked that inn. And their blueberry pie has a crumbly sort of crust on top, which I've never tasted elsewhere."
"I could ask for the recipe," Ryan offered.
"You could," Eliza said, her face mischievous. "But then I would no longer have any desire to stop at that inn, and I am certain you would not wish for that, Sir Ryan."
The knight smiled. "Of course not, Eliza," he answered wryly, shaking his head. When he spoke again, his tone was more serious. "I know you hate breaking up the journey into two days, but you are not as accustomed to long rides as your father. And you know, when he used to make those trips where he would only be there for the afternoon, and for dinner? He always stayed here in this town on his way home."
"That would be an awful lot of riding all in one day," Eliza mused. "Out to the manor and then back to the castle. I am glad I don't have to do it that way." She tried to look thoughtful. She didn't want Ryan to catch any hint that she had plans, plans he would not like! "But I still wish we could get there today. I miss my brothers."
"Of course you do, Princess," Ryan said gruffly, trying to sound comforting. "Your father missed all of you during that year you lived at the manor with the boys."
She smiled at her father's friend. "I thank the gods he had you, Ryan. Without you and Nerean, I fear Father would not have been able to tolerate it."
Ryan smiled back. "Let's get to the inn," he said.
Paige opened the door to the diner and was almost run over by a pretty brunette in a blue dress. When the girl flashed a smile and apologized, Paige realized that this was Belle! She seemed happy and distracted. Paige watched Belle rush off down the street. When she surveyed the diner, she realized Gold was nowhere to be seen. Was Belle going to meet him somewhere?
But Ruby came over, distracting Paige from her thoughts. "Hey! Granny said to bring you into the back as soon as you got here. She seems pretty excited about this. I still can't believe you found a whole farm like you would have had back in our world!"
Well, not quite the same, Paige signed. We didn't have greenhouses back then. Ruby needed to have the word greenhouses translated, and by then, they were in the kitchen. Granny had just finished cleaning up after doing some baking. There was a timer set for the oven.
"Oh, Paige, dear, hello," Granny said, smiling and giving Paige a big hug.
Just over half an hour later, Paige and Granny had concluded their business. As Paige had thought, Granny wanted to buy the brandy, the jam, and even the honey. But there was something else she wanted to discuss with Granny.
"Granny, Paige has a favor to ask of you," Ruby translated.
"Of course, dear, anything I can do to help," Granny replied.
Paige signed, and had to text Ruby the meaning of several of the signs. Once she understood everything, Ruby explained. "She says she's trying to break a spell that turned her brothers into swans. That's why she can't talk. But also, she has six years from when time started again to pound the fibers out of nettles, spin those fibers into yarn, and knit shirts for each of her brothers. She's got two full skeins of yarn and is working on a third, so she's really not ready to start knitting yet, but she says she barely knows one end of a knitting needle from the other, and she was hoping you would teach her when the time comes." When Paige signed something else, Ruby spoke to Paige instead of translating. "Yeah, Granny definitely knows how to knit." With a teasing smile at her grandmother, Ruby added, "And crochet, and sew, and embroider, and make lace, and maybe even weave…" She cut off when Granny gave her look. But the older woman wasn't angry; the twinkle in her eye gave her away.
"It's called 'tatting' when you make lace, Ruby," she said, trying to sound terse. "Honestly, I teach you everything I know, and yet you never seem to learn." The smile Granny aimed at Ruby was a fond one. Then she turned to Paige. "And I would be delighted to teach you to knit, Paige."
When Ruby translated Paige's offer of payment, Granny said, "Nonsense! There's no need for that." When Paige raised her hands again, Granny shook a finger at her sternly. "Now, I don't want to hear another word about payment, young lady, is that understood?"
With a wry smile, Paige nodded, but signed something to Ruby anyway.
Ruby couldn't quite suppress a laugh. "She says she hates knitting, so you might regret that," she translated.
Granny chuckled. "Well, that's as may be," she said, "but I won't take payment for something like this. Not something you need this badly." Suddenly, the timer dinged. "Land's sake, that startled me," Granny said, grabbing some pot holders. She took a pie out of the oven, and Paige suddenly realized that she'd been smelling blueberries for a while. Granny set the pie on the counter to cool, saying, "I want you to take that pie home with you, Paige." At the look on Paige's face, Granny added, "When you decided to make that farm into a real business, you thought of me, knowing I'd want some of the products you'll be selling. This is a token of my appreciation."
Paige smiled and signed, Thank you!
Ruby tried to translate, but Granny interrupted. "That one was rather obvious, Ruby," she said fondly. Turning to Paige, she said, "And you're very welcome, dear."
Eliza had done her best to pretend that she was hiding tiredness. She knew Sir Ryan would heartily disapprove of her intentions, so she wanted to lull him. He was a man who went to bed early and rose early, but if he even suspected Eliza was still up, he would stay awake to watch over her.
Fortunately, this inn had no large suites of rooms; not even two rooms were adjoined for a lady and her maid. Clearly this inn, possibly this whole town, wasn't accustomed to nobility passing through. Although even if there were rooms for nobles, Eliza and her companions would likely have taken ordinary rooms anyway. After all, they were traveling in disguise.
Ryan and his young squire Elrick had taken a room together, even though Elrick's family lived further along the lakeshore, only a half-hour's ride outside of town. The boy had ridden ahead earlier, and was visiting his family for the evening, but his oldest brother had married a few years ago, and there was a second child on the way now. Elrick's parents still lived with their eldest, as did his sister, not quite 17 and unmarried as yet. With the medium-sized house already so full, and about to get fuller, the youth felt that there wasn't enough space for him to spend the night there. But still, he wouldn't arrive at the inn until much later.
After supper, Eliza played a game of chess with Sir Ryan, and as usual, she lost, but not as badly as she used to. She got so caught up in the game that she almost forgot to pretend she was tired. But when the knight finally won the game, Eliza stretched and said, "Well, I think I will go to my room and read for a while." Then she hid a yawn behind the back of her hand, a yawn that started out fake, but turned real. "Unless I fall asleep first," she joked. She glanced at Ryan, but wouldn't meet his eyes. She faked an embarrassed expression, as if not wanting to admit that she needed to stop partway along the journey to the Hidden Manor, and strode a little too quickly out of the common room, as if she feared he would make a pointed comment.
In her room, she dug into the very bottom of her saddlebags. She had hidden parts of a peasant's outfit under her other things; a dark-brown skirt and a medium-brown corset with a little light brown embroidery on it. She hadn't bothered with shoes, since the sensible but somewhat worn brown boots that completed her traveling disguise would go well with the peasant-girl outfit. But she didn't dare change into it yet. She hid the skirt and corset under edge of the bed. After taking off her traveling clothes and unwinding the fabric wrapped tightly around her breasts, she dressed as if she were preparing for bed, donning a green smock with a drawstring in the neck, which didn't quite reach the middle of her thighs, and a pair of plain, calf-length pantalets in white linen.
The pantalets had a small slit up the outside of each leg, from the hem to just above the knee, and she laced them loosely with white cords. The outfit would not be entirely unusual for a young man to sleep in, although if she ever had to leave her room in a hurry, like if there was a fire, her thigh-length hair and unbound breasts would ruin their disguise.
She brushed her hair thoroughly and parted it down the middle, twining each side into a long, slender braid, which she tied at the ends with two green ribbons that matched her smock. Then she lay on the bed and tried to focus on the book she'd brought.
Paige and Dr. Horne were looking over some sketches Sammi had done of different labeling ideas for their products. The young woman had also recommended that they hire an interior designer to help them redesign this large, half-empty room into a warm, welcoming shop.
Everyone here at the farm had asked Dr. Horne to give them the knowledge he had gleaned from Mike, even Miles. The beekeeper hadn't known Paige in the world that was, but now that she owned the property, he had said that it made sense for him to be able to understand her. He wasn't here right now; he was taking Sammi out to lunch.
Jane had gone to the grocery store to deliver a shipment of blueberries. There had been talk of asking the store owner if he wanted to acquire more of their products, but Paige had nipped that in the bud. She intended for them to open their own shop, so it didn't make sense. The main reason she had offered Granny more blueberry products was because both Granny and Ruby had been so kind to Paige. Also, Granny would use the blueberries and the honey in her baking, and would offer the honey and the jam to customers as condiments. Even the brandy would be sold by the glass; anyone who wanted a jar of honey or jam, or a bottle of brandy, would have to buy it from the Blueberry Farm; they had decided to keep the name that the Blues had given the place when they first began growing blueberries. In a way, selling to Granny for use in her diner was almost a form of advertising. Sammi had wholeheartedly approved.
Everyone looked up when the door burst open rather suddenly. Jane rushed in, her eyes sparkling. "Guess who I found!" But without waiting for a response, she turned and pulled someone in by the arm. Glad cries greeted the embarrassed young man, who turned even redder when he saw Paige.
When Paige straightened from the table she was leaning over, everyone else quieted down and stepped back. Paige walked toward the young man, smiling like she had thought she would never see him again.
"Eliza," he whispered, his voice husky as he looked up to meet her eyes. He was at least a few inches shorter than his princess.
Horne moved up beside the young man. "Sir Elrick, we are muchly pleased to see you." When Paige signed, he added, "We all have missed you, and many times have wondered where the Curse had placed you."
Clearing his throat, the young man said, "I'm Ed, Edward Grove, in this land. A fisherman, like my father was back in our kingdom." He gave Paige a confused look, but it quickly melted to dismay. He knelt and would not meet her gaze, saying, "I beg your forgiveness, Princess! I have failed to keep you safe as your father ordered. Please, where is his Highness, so I may submit myself for his judgment?"
Paige blinked. Why did he think she was angry at him? She signed something to Horne, who told the young man, "I regret to be informing you of this, but our king has been cursed to be asleep, we are knowing not for how long." The doctor was also confused by the young man's behavior, but suddenly had an insight. "I am also regretting to tell that our dear Princess is finding herself unable to be speaking aloud – it is part of the counterspell for the undoing of the swan spell."
Ed's relief was palpable. "I am so sorry to hear about your father, m'lady. And please, if there is anything I can do to help with this counterspell, do not hesitate to ask. As ever, my life is yours." In a formal gesture, he kissed her hand. But even though he didn't meet her eyes, his expression startled Paige. How long had he felt this way? How had she never seen it? This young knight loved her, and it wasn't friendship or brotherly love.
Before she could figure out how to handle the situation without embarrassing him, Ed stood up, looking around. "Where is the prince?" Despite his effort, Paige noticed the slight rancor in his voice. She looked at Dr. Horne, but she couldn't tell if he had caught it, too.
"I do fear that our good prince finds himself in some sort of quandary that I little understand," Horne said, with a shrewd glance at Paige. He knew that there was something she wasn't telling him about her fight with Mike, and he wished he knew what it was. "Without that understanding, I fear I can tell you but little else."
Ed's mouth tightened for a moment. "Well," he said, struggling not to say anything rude. He swallowed hard before continuing. "If it would help, Princess, I will guard this place for you. My two brothers are fishermen as well, and their wives help take care of the fish we bring in. My sister's been wanting to go out on the boat, but my brothers wouldn't let her, even though she was always the best of us at fishing back in our world. She can take my place in our business here." He paused and met Paige's gaze. "I was given an opportunity to protect you once, and I would like to do so again, if you will have me." He went down on one knee, intoning, "As I have sworn, so shall I do, for as long as my Lady requires it. My life is pledged to the Crown Princess Eliza, and both my life and my sword are hers to use as she deems fit. I shall die in protecting her, and if I fail, I shall die in avenging her. I am her shield and her sword, and will do whatsoever she may require of me."
Paige's mouth went dry. The young knight had made this vow at his knighting ceremony, after all the vows that were required of every knight. For generations, the royal family had encouraged knights to add their own personal vows in addition to the usual knightly vows, if they wished to. But now, knowing that the young man loved her, Paige saw deeper meanings hidden in his words. Whatsoever she may require of him?
Everyone was staring at her, not seeming to have noticed Ed's adoring eyes. Paige shook herself and smiled. She hoped she wasn't trembling. When she signed, Dr. Horne translated.
"You are once again bound to the Princess, young Sir Knight, and she is vowing to not make a waste of your life or your sword, which you have pledged to her. She will remember you with honor if you should be perishing in defense of her life, and should you fail in that, yet succeed in the avenging of herself, her spirit will rest in peace for it. Your Lady vows to be not requiring anything that will contradict your Knightly Virtues, and shall endeavor to not require any deed which would be otherwise distasteful to your ethics."
Paige swallowed. Her wording had not been quite as formal as all that, but Nerean had always felt very strongly that human formalities must be properly observed when the situation demanded. Since the young man was already a knight, it didn't make sense to continue the ceremony further, so Paige improvised. She gestured for Ed to stand, then gave him a small curtsy, to which he bowed deeply. The admiration in the young man's eyes made Paige nervous.
A knock at the door startled Eliza, even though she had been expecting it. She had let the wick in the oil lamp burn down a bit, as if she had been dozing. When she opened the door a crack to peer into the hallway, it was Ryan, so she let him in. He barely even glanced around the room, but Eliza was sure he had noticed the lamp, and she tried to look like she'd been sleeping.
"I was thinking of heading to bed in a short while, Eli," Ryan said, pushing the door almost shut behind him.
Rubbing her eyes, Eliza asked, "Has Elrick arrived yet?"
"No," Ryan answered, pursing his lips. It wasn't like the boy to stay with his family this long, but it was only 9:30. Probably the boy had lost track of time. Or perhaps his brother's wife was having the baby, and Elrick had stayed to help, or run to fetch the doctor. "No doubt he will be along shortly – er, Eli," Ryan said. He swallowed. He had almost called her Princess! It seemed he was more worried about the young man than he had realized.
Eliza yawned, and it was much easier to fake it this time. Lying around waiting had made her feel tired. "I think I should retire now, Ryan," she said. "I would rather you not wake me when Elrick does return. If he is late and it makes our journey more difficult for him in the morning, it will be his own fault, and I, for one, wish to be well rested." She paused for a moment, looking pensive. "It has been longer than usual since the last time I visited the manor," she said softly. It wouldn't do to have anyone overhear something that would contradict their story.
Smiling, Ryan spoke softly as well, his voice gruff. "I know, but you'll see your brothers on the morrow." Drawing her close, he kissed her forehead gently. Ryan had never married, but if he had ever had a daughter, he imagined she would have been very much like Eliza. "Sleep well," he said before leaving.
Eliza was left saying, "And you as well," to the door as Ryan closed it behind himself. His gruff tenderness made her feel guilty about what she was planning to do, but she shook it off. She told herself that what he did not know could not cause him pain, and she certainly had no intention of being discovered.
Matilda felt a little silly, but Mike had encouraged her to put up posters. First, though, she wanted to talk to David, since he seemed to have taken charge. She had checked the sheriff's station, but he wasn't there, so she stopped into Granny's and asked if anyone knew where he was. Mary Margaret's apartment, where he was currently living, was closer than the mines, so she decided to check there first.
When David answered the door, his hair was still damp from the shower, and his shirt was unbuttoned, revealing a white tank top underneath. "Mat!" he said, surprised. "Is everything alright?"
"Yeah," she said, flushing slightly. "I just – I'm looking for my axe, and I was going to put up some posters."
"Your... axe?" David looked confused. "Who were you in the Enchanted Forest?"
Matilda stood a little straighter. "Muffet."
David blinked. "As in that nursery rhyme in this world, or that Wolf-slayer I've heard tell of?"
"I guess you could say both," she replied, frowning slightly. She didn't like to be reminded that she had let a spider frighten her so, no matter how big it had been. But if he dared to call her "Little Miss Muffet," she was going to punch him.
"Wow. You're a lot shorter than I thought you'd be." David winced, realizing too late that he probably shouldn't have said that.
But Matilda took it in stride. "Yeah, that disappoints me too, sometimes," she said with a straight face, but the corner of her mouth twitched. She wasn't overly short, but she was a bit shorter than most of the women in Storybrooke. "But the point is, my axe is enchanted. With it, I can defeat any opponent, even if I am outnumbered. But somehow, even though it was in my hand when the Curse struck, I don't have it now." She handed him one of the flyers she'd made up. "This is what it looks like. I'm hardly an artist, but that should be good enough that anyone who sees my axe should recognize it." She paused for a moment, staring at the floor. "I'm sorry, David."
"What for?" He looked up from the flyer, confused.
Matilda grimaced. "If I'd had my axe, I could have fought the wraith. I'm not sure a creature like that can be killed, but if I had fought it, I would have defeated it. I might have been able to save Emma and Mary Margaret. But I was too busy wallowing in self-pity to even notice that the wraith was attacking, let alone look for my axe."
"If I heard correctly," David said softly, "you became what you are today because Wolfs killed your entire village. When the Curse broke, we all regained our memories, including the bad ones. You've had more than your share of bad times, and you had no one to turn to when all that came crashing back down." David set the flyer aside and put a comforting hand on her shoulder. "No one could blame you for grieving. But Emma and Snow are strong, both of them. Either I'll find them, or they'll find their own way back. I have faith in that."
Matilda swallowed. "I hope you're right, David. But sometimes, people go away and they don't come back."
"That's not the case here," David said, smiling reassuringly. He kept his own insecurities from his face; just because he believed that he would be reunited with Emma and Mary Margaret didn't mean that he didn't worry about them. "But anyway, your axe. If I see it, or if I hear anything that might help you find it, I'll let you know right away, okay?"
"Thanks," Matilda said. "I hope they make it back, David. I really do."
David smiled again. "Thanks, Mat. I hope you find your axe."
Matilda just smiled and nodded her thanks before leaving.
Looking at the clock, David realized he was going to be late.
Matilda was less than a block away from David's apartment when she saw Gold walking down the street toward her. She swallowed and frowned. Could he possibly have her axe? But that would be a last resort. She didn't want to know what price he would exact to give it back to her, but if he was the one who had it, there would definitely be some kind of price, even though she'd paid for the axe once before. He'd probably call it a "storage fee" or some such nonsense.
Keeping her eyes fixed on a random signpost further up the road, she set about ignoring him. But apparently, Gold had other ideas.
"Matilda," he said. He sounded… odd today. Almost desperate.
"What do you want, Gold," she said tersely. "I'm kind of in the middle of something."
"Please, this'll only take a minute." He unfolded a piece of paper. Much to Matilda's surprise, there was a drawing of a woman on it. "Have you seen this woman? Her name is Belle, and she's missing."
Matilda eyed the paper. The woman was quite pretty, if this drawing was any good. She hadn't seen the woman, but she wasn't about to tell Gold that. "Do you have my axe?"
Gold looked surprised at the sudden change of subject. "Your axe? No, I'm afraid I don't have it."
"Well, then," Matilda said dismissively, walking away, "I'm afraid I can't help you."
"Wait," Gold said, barely able to disguise the urgency in his voice, but Matilda just kept walking.
Gold stared after her for a moment. It had been like that all over town. No one would give him the time of day, let alone help him find Belle. But there was one person in all of Storybrooke who might help, who could understand what he was going through.
He had actually been heading for this building when he saw Matilda. Gold climbed the stairs and, before knocking on the apartment door, took a deep breath. He didn't like having to ask for help, but he would do anything for Belle.
"Wait, Paige?" Sammi was shocked. "Paige is the Blueberry Princess?" She leaned back in the booth. "That must make Mike her betrothed, from the Wolfsbane Kingdom."
"I don't know," Miles answered. "I didn't meet him. I kind of got the feeling that there's something weird going on there, but they didn't really talk about it in front of me."
Sammi shook herself. In the other world, she had been taught all about the other two kingdoms. All of the factions, not just the Royalists, had heard rumors that when the Blueberry Princess wed King Tristan's brother, the two kingdoms would attack, intending to destroy the warring kingdom between. Felix – she still couldn't think of the man as her father, even now – Felix had cautioned her that she must try to reunite the factions before that day came, because a nation that could not stand together against foreign armies was a nation that would perish.
But Paige seemed like such a sweet girl. Sammi could hardly credit the wilder rumors, the ones Felix had sworn came from his most trusted informants. Paige didn't seem like a woman who could order the complete annihilation of an entire kingdoms-worth of people.
But Sammi, or Norah, as she had been in that world, had done what she could. Her betrothal to Robert had soothed some of the other factions, especially when Felix held a ceremony passing the responsibility of ruling onto her. Well, into her temporary care for her future husband, at any rate. She wasn't able to unify the land before the Curse struck, but she was almost as close as Felix had been. But was it worth it? And would anyone even follow her now that she had been reunited with Liam?
The moment she had seen him again, she knew that she loved him. She couldn't think why she hadn't known that before. And here in Storybrooke, Mark had broken up with her. Now that they all remembered who they were, she definitely did not want to make up with him. She was happier without that accursed betrothal hanging over her head. She gave a heavy sigh.
"Penny for your thoughts," Miles said, pretending to be nonchalant. He really wanted to know, though, so he could help to ease her stress.
"Oh, just… I can't help but wonder if it's all worth it." She sipped her lemonade, not really tasting it.
"If what's worth it?"
"Everything I was doing back in our world," Sammi replied. "Trying to pull the factions together and make them stop fighting. I don't… I don't know if I can be the person who fixes all this, and I know Robert is far too selfish."
"Speaking of which," Miles said, uncertainty tinging his voice, "are you… I mean, in our world, you were… well, going to wed him. Is that…" He stopped and swallowed. He suddenly couldn't finish what he was trying to say.
But Sammi understood. "Well, here in this world, he broke up with me. I mean, that's while we were still Cursed and didn't know why we were engaged, but it's been a long time since I've been this happy, and that's because I realized that I don't want to marry him. He's just so… arrogant, and self-centered. I don't want to spend the rest of my life with a man like that, and I believe it would be wrong to hand the kingdom over to him. He doesn't deserve that much power and influence, and I believe he would misuse it."
Miles gave a soft laugh. "Are you sure you're not just trying to convince yourself?"
Sammi laughed, too. "Actually, I hadn't really thought about it like this before, so I'm kind of just saying whatever pops into my head. And as I say it, I realize just how true it is."
After a long breath to try to calm himself, Miles asked, "So… I was wondering… I mean, hoping…" He stopped and shook his head. "I really like you, Norah. I think I love you, and I just wanted to know how you felt." There, it was out in the open. He watched her anxiously.
Sammi smiled, relieved. "Good! I feel the same," she said. "Even before the Curse, I couldn't get you off my mind, and back then I wasn't sure why, but as soon as I saw you again, I knew. You're my one true love, and I want to be with you."
Miles leaned over the table, and Sammi moved to meet him. They kissed, and it was rather awkward because of the table between them, but neither of them cared. Ruby came out with their lunches just then, and smiled.
"Well, you two look happy," the pretty waitress remarked. "Did you guys just find each other again?"
"Yeah," said Sammi, grinning from ear to ear. "And he's much better than the guy I was with before."
Ruby just smiled politely. She didn't know Mark that well, but she vividly remembered the day that Sammi and Mark had argued here in the diner. It wasn't any of her business to make assumptions about anyone, but she did say, "Well, you certainly seem much happier now. Congratulations, I guess? On finding each other, I mean."
They both blushed slightly and grinned like idiots, thanking her.
Once Ryan left, Eliza pulled the bundle of clothes out from under the table. She unlaced the plain white cords from the legs of her pantalets and took the dark green ribbons out of her hair to re-lace the legs, and loosened the drawstring running through the neck of her smock so that it would be wide enough to bare her shoulders. Then she took the corset, which was laced quite loosely, and stepped into it so she could pull it up over her legs, wiggling a bit to get it over her hips. She adjusted the smock and pulled the skirt and her boots on before she started to tighten the corset's laces, which were on the front.
As soon as she was dressed, she put out the light and sat on the edge of the bed, undoing her braids by touch. She combed out her hair with her fingers, then lay down to wait.
Before long, she heard footsteps, and Ryan's voice. "Eli?" He whispered softly. He waited before repeating himself, but Eliza still didn't answer. After a long moment, she heard him walk away. His room was on the other side of the inn, and now that he thought she was in bed, he would retire as well. Eliza waited another minute or two before easing out of bed. Moving as quietly as she could, she opened the window and stuck her head out. The roof of the pantry was directly under her window. She smiled. This was going to be easy.
It hadn't taken much to convince the tavern's owner to let her sing a few songs. Eliza had managed to slip away from Ryan's vigilant watch and visit this seedy tavern four out of the last five times they had stopped in this town, although always still in her disguise as a young man. But it was only the last time that they had found the perfect rooms to make sneaking out even easier.
Each time she'd been here before, she noticed that the girl who sang bawdy songs on the raised stage took a break to eat around 11 o'clock at night. The men, and the few tough, hard-eyed women, who drank and diced here tended to get quite rowdy during the singer's absence, so Eliza's offer to sing was welcomed. At first, the owner had been suspicious that Eliza only asked for a mug of ale and a few coins in exchange, but she told the man that she'd never sung in a tavern before, and felt it wouldn't be fair to expect anything more.
For the half hour before the regular singer's break, Eliza sipped her ale. It was supposed to have been flavored with blueberries, but the only thing she could taste was sour ale.
When the time came, Eliza gulped down the last of her ale before stepping up onto the stage. Her head spun slightly for a moment; clearly the ale was stronger than she'd realized, but she didn't care. She was about to sing in a tavern. She turned to face the crowd.
The men were making loud whooping noises and whistling, and she heard more than one shout to let them see her legs. She gave a cheeky smirk before starting right into her first song. It was called "Caviar." She sang the chorus first:
"Caviar comes from a virgin sturgeon;
A virgin sturgeon's a mighty fine fish!
No good sturgeon wants to be a virgin,
That's why caviar's a very rare dish!"
As she started into the first verse, she swished her skirt around, letting her legs show up to the knee. It wasn't as if they could actually see anything, not with her pantalets on.
"I fed caviar to my grandma,
She was nearly ninety-three.
Shrieks and squeals were heard from Grandpa
As she chased him up a tree!"
As she sang the chorus again, she drank in the feel of all those eyes on her. She had always enjoyed performing in front of others, but here, she was just a girl singing a dirty song, and if they didn't like it, they would let her know it. She sang the second verse.
"I fed caviar to the rooster,
I fed caviar to the cow.
The barnyard's starting to look funny;
All the cows have feathers now!"
The chorus came around again, and Eliza wondered if the patrons were cheering for the song itself or for the generous amount of cleavage she was displaying. Perhaps it was both. Perhaps men liked it when busty girls sang bawdy songs. The third verse went:
"I fed caviar to my intended;
He was a virgin, tried and true.
Now that he has tasted caviar,
There's not a thing that he won't do!"
She sang the chorus again, feeling giddy and excited. She had known she could do this, but if she had even dreamt of telling anyone she knew, they would have tried to talk her out of it, or forbidden her to do it.
"I put caviar in the punchbowl,
It livened up the party, sure.
When did I get stripped down naked?
I thought these boys were sweet and pure!"
The men seemed to go wild at that last line, and even as she sang the chorus twice more, she could hear their shouts, all of which proved that they were anything but sweet and pure. She wasn't even sure some of the suggestions she heard were physically possible. Her face felt hot.
Just as she finished the song, she noticed two men sharing a small table in the back. They were wearing their cloaks, and both had their hoods up. They were watching the dicing games, most likely. They probably intended to wait for one of the winners to stagger out, so they could follow him and rob him of his winnings. She felt like she should put a stop to it, but she wasn't the princess tonight. Tonight, she was just a girl, singing songs with naughty lyrics to a roomful of drunken men.
As she started her next song, she tried to put the robbers out of her mind, turning her eyes away quickly whenever her glance fell on them. But something about them, especially the taller one, made her skin crawl.
When the regular singer took over again, the girl smiled and thanked Eliza, but it looked like she had to force herself. Eliza accepted the thanks as graciously as she could, but she was immensely proud and she was afraid it showed. The girl's face turned quite unfriendly for a moment as they passed, Eliza leaving the stage while the other girl climbed back up.
The fact that the girl was so jealous meant that Eliza had done very well indeed. The girl probably feared for her job, which was, of course, unnecessary. But right now, Eliza felt like she was dancing on the wind. Even the tavern-keeper seemed to feel she had done well; he offered her a meal and another pint of ale, all on the house. He didn't offer any more money, though, and Eliza caught the shrewd look in his eye. She could tell that he knew she deserved much more than she'd been given, but that he thought she would never realize it for herself. He thought he was pulling one over on her, but Eliza didn't care.
She had had fun, and she might do it again some time, but for now it was enough to know that she could do it. If she ever found herself in a position where she had to support herself, she would not starve. Not that she truly believed she would ever end up in that situation, but still, it gave her a sense of accomplishment.
When the food came out, it was hardly the best cut of mutton, but the cook had spiced it well, and the potatoes and vegetables tasted good. The small jug of gravy smelled awful and tasted worse, though, so Eliza ate her food dry, wetting her throat with the ale. Before she knew it, her mug was empty, but before she could take her just-earned coins out of her purse, a harried-looking serving wench brought her a new mug.
"Courtesy of that fellow, over there," the woman murmured, gesturing. When Eliza looked, the man was watching. He was huge; not fat or anything, just broad and covered in muscle. There was a scar down the right side of his face, just missing the outside corner of his eye. His dark hair was lank and looked a bit greasy, and his skin was tanned and dirty. He looked rather unsavory, but he had bought her another ale, so she lifted the mug and nodded in his direction before taking a swig. She wasn't sure why, but the ale seemed less vile than before. Perhaps she was getting used to it.
She watched the man out of the corner of her eye as she finished her meal. He was with two other men, neither of whom were as large or as muscled as himself, although one was badly scarred. It looked like he had been severely burned.
The big man kept glancing at her, then making comments to his friends. Comments that seemed to make them laugh, but it didn't seem like very nice laughter. She tried to ignore them.
By the time she'd finished eating, her mug was empty again. Almost before she set the mug down, the serving woman brought another pint, from the same man. Eliza accepted it, pushing down the sudden nervous feeling. The man was probably just trying to show his appreciation for her performance. She gulped down almost half the mug in one go, hoping it would help her feel less uneasy.
While she had her face buried in her mug, she didn't see the woman serve the big man and his friends another round. She never noticed how casually he reached out and fondled the woman, or the resigned way the woman flinched and tried to shift out of his reach without forcibly removing his hands from her body.
But the two cloaked and hooded men in the back of the room watched it all.
As Dr. Horne reached for some of the papers he and Paige were going over, he bumped the table against Paige's stomach. She drew back and put a protective hand over her belly in a way that struck him as odd. Then he blinked, all the pieces suddenly falling together in his mind.
"Sweet girl, perhaps we should go forth and acquire some lunch," he said. "My stomach, he is growling with fierce anger that I have yet to be feeding him."
Yeah, I'm getting hungry, too, Paige signed. She wondered why Horne was acting so strange suddenly. I brought some leftovers from home, she added.
Horne needed to have the term "leftovers" translated for him. "As muchly as I do enjoy your cooking, I was thinking of purchasing food for you at Granny's," he said. "And besides, if the young knight is being finished with his visit here, he will be needing a ride back to his truck. As I am understanding it, Jane brought him here herself, and his truck, it was left at the grocery store."
Jane, walking by, overheard that last comment and said, "Yes, I drove him out here, so he will need a ride back. I was going to take him, but if you two are headed for town, anyway… I mean, if that's okay with you."
After Paige nodded, Horne said, "It is being not a problem in the slightest, my dear," he told Jane.
Paige felt awkward when Ed opened her door and leaned into the front seat of Horne's car to give her a hug. She swallowed, but before she could try to gently push him away, he drew back. "I'll talk to my brothers this afternoon, Paige," he said, his voice seeming to caress her Curse-name. "And I'll be at the Farm bright and early. If you don't feel you need a guard, I will help out in any way that I can." He smiled eagerly and sincerely. "Well, see you, Paige. Dr. Horne."
Horne waited while Ed drove away. Paige noticed that he was acting odd again, and she stared at his profile as he put the car in gear. She wondered what was wrong. Neither of them noticed Mike standing by the picnic table that was there for employees to use, his lunch forgotten as he stared at Paige.
Pulling around the side of the building, Horne stopped the car along the blank wall. No one behind the store could see them unless they were trying to drive out, and there hadn't been any trucks unloading in the back, so it wasn't likely to happen any time soon. And the section of parking lot ahead of them was the farthest from the store's entrance, and as such was designated as the employee parking area, so it didn't see as much traffic as the rest of the parking lot.
After a long moment of silence, Horne asked, "How far along are you?"
Paige swallowed. She had known that Horne would find out sooner or later, but she'd rather hoped it would be later. Twenty-one weeks, she signed.
"So," Horne said, digesting this. He hadn't realized she was so far along. "That is meaning you would have conceived approximately when Time started again, yes?" When Paige nodded, he asked, "Did the conceiving happen in our world, perhaps? Just before the Curse was being cast?"
Paige looked down. She nodded, unable to find words to explain herself.
"Then you must be wedding your prince with all possible haste, sweet girl."
Blinking rapidly, Paige swallowed. That was so far from what she had expected to hear that she couldn't think how to respond. But Horne wasn't finished.
"I must be confessing to you that I had not even realized that you and your prince had… been deciding to take your relationship to such lengths," he said primly.
At first, Paige thought that he was being prudish, but he was a faun, not a human. Fauns chose partners for life, but they didn't seem to feel a need to make as much ado over it as humans. There was no such thing as a marriage ceremony among fauns. Paige wondered if fauns ever had sex before choosing their life-long partner.
It's… complicated, she signed.
"Well, that being as it may, this distance between you must be crossed." Horne frowned briefly, but it seemed more in response to his own inward thoughts than directed at Paige. "It is being quite understandable, wishing to consummate your love before the taking of an action which could, perhaps, be separating you." His tone suggested that there was a "but" coming. However, much to Paige's surprise, he stopped there.
She suddenly realized what was wrong. Horne thought that she and Andrew had had sex before she and her father went out to perform the spell, and he felt that he should have known that it had happened. At first, she felt a sense of relief. He didn't realize that her prince was not the father! But the relief turned quickly to dread. She would have to tell him the truth eventually. Then she realized what he had said earlier and frowned.
What do you mean, I have to marry him with all possible haste?
Horne sighed. "This law I am about to be telling you of was not yet included in your instruction for two muchly good reasons," he started. She gathered that he was expecting an explosion of her temper when she heard what he had to say. "Firstly being that there was much else for you to be learning, and also for such reason as it was deemed you were… not likely to have the need for such knowledge, based upon your disposition."
Paige watched him warily. What on earth was he so nervous about telling her? When the silence began to stretch out, she signed, Please, good Doctor, what is it?
Horne had to clear his throat before he could speak. "It brings me much embarrassment to be only telling you of this law because of your… current condition," he said, "but this law is being nearly as old as your kingdom, sweet girl. This law, it is stating that… that any child born to an unwed ruler or heir to a ruler cannot be taking the throne."
Paige licked her lips. Was he really saying what she thought he was saying? But before she could ask, he began to speak again.
"This law was being written by the third ruler of the kingdom. His daughter was… found to be very against the idea of marriage, which seems to have muchly appalled her father. It has been told that she was even planning to simply select a man like a horse breeder is selecting a stud for his mare, and become with child by him. After which, as the histories are indicating, she meant never to see him again. Like the stallion picked for breeding, who is being sent back to his owner once the broodmare carries his seed. As for the princess's father, he was being of the opinion that a family, as defined by you humans, was a necessary and wholesome thing. And I feel I must be telling to you, I am finding myself in very much agreement with him. While fauns marry not, we raise children in similar manner to your marriage technique – mother and father both are working together to instruct and guide our younglings." He stopped and took a deep breath. "But I am having a digression." He shook his head as if to clear it. "The law, it is stating that no child borne out of your human wedlock may ascend the throne. Any heir must come into this world from a mother who has a husband, regardless of which parent is being the current ruler or heir to said ruler."
Paige sat back in the passenger seat. Her mind was reeling as she processed this information. From the way Horne talked, it sounded like it applied to male heirs as well, which, given the equality that was a large part of her kingdom's foundation, made perfect sense. But more than that, this might be exactly what she and Mike needed. She knew Mike wasn't best pleased by the idea that Gold's child would inherit the throne, and now she knew that it was possible to make sure that couldn't happen.
But at the same time, she wasn't sure she could do that to the tiny girl-child growing inside her. Her hands went to her stomach in a protective gesture. Did she want to condemn the girl to watch a younger sibling reared for the duties of the throne? What kind of jealousy and hurt feelings might that cause? But if Mike refused to marry her before she gave birth… who, then, would she marry? Sir Elrick, the young man who made her feel so very uncomfortable? Certainly not Gold. One of Jane Blue's sons? They were handsome young men, but she felt as if they might as well be her own brothers.
Swallowing, Paige realized that Horne was waiting for a response. I… I don't know what to say. But… I have to think about this, about what it all means. And I'll definitely have to talk to Mike.
Horne looked incredulous. "I am being quite unsure of why you could possibly feel you must think this over, Princess." He even sounded shocked. "However, if that is what you are feeling a need to do, then I must counsel swiftness of thought. You are just over halfway to bearing that child into this world, and I would not like to be seeing you suffer your firstborn to the living of a life full of believing he or she is unworthy."
Paige swallowed. That mirrored her own doubts about the situation a little too closely. To change the subject, she signed, In this world, they have technology that shows the developing child, which they call a fetus. I have a picture, called a sonogram. She dug into her purse, while Dr. Horne blinked. His Curse memories indicated that Paige was right, but he hadn't even thought of that when he realized she was pregnant. After she handed him the picture, Paige signed, It's a girl.
As soon as Eliza had finished the second pint of ale that the big man bought for her, she stood up, putting the cup down and gathering her plain yet well-made cloak, but she didn't waste time putting it on. She made a line for the door, smiling and thanking the serving woman, who seemed to be bringing her another pint. But Eliza didn't let the woman stop her. That second pint bought by the big man had actually been her fourth pint, counting the two she had earned for her singing.
She was hardly ten steps away from the door when she felt a large hand on her arm. That hand whirled her around before she could react.
"Where do you think you're going, little one?" asked the big man, eying her up and down. He pulled her around the corner of the inn, where a wide alley led back to a rickety barn that was seldom used. Most patrons walked here, or left their horses hitched out front.
"Or not so little," snickered one of his friends. "Isn't she a bit plump for your taste, Dayne?"
The other friend, the scarred man, laughed unpleasantly. "That's a good point there, Hanold," he said. "A good point, indeed." They stopped in the cobbled yard between the kitchen and the barn.
Eliza wished she hadn't drunk so much ale. She felt a little unsteady, and it wasn't all from this unexpected attack. She opened her mouth, but Dayne pulled her close to him, spinning her halfway around so that her back was pressed against his chest. His hand covered the lower half of her face, and Eliza tried, too late, to scream. "Hush, now," Dayne whispered in her ear. "No sense making a fuss, it won't help." Then he spoke to his friends. "It is true that I like them on the thinner side, but you know I get to play with any wench who graces that stage. I earned that right."
The tavern owner came to the kitchen door. "Make sure you keep this one quiet," he said. At Eliza's accusing glare, he gave a half-shrug and a somewhat apologetic glance, but he addressed the big man. "I'll not lie to the Watch for you. That is not part of our agreement."
"Of course, my good man," Dayne said jovially. He frowned at the owner's back as the man scurried back into the kitchen.
Eliza felt the big man lean down to rub his cheek against her hair. "Still, though," he said, continuing the conversation that the owner had interrupted, "I shall take what pleasure I can from her. Hanold, you can just watch if you'd prefer; I know she is not to your taste." His hot breath came against Eliza's ear as he spoke softly to her. "But as for Flame over there, well, he likes them plump. The plumper the better, he says. No one really knows what his name is, you know. Even he doesn't remember. But we call him Flame because he really likes fire."
The scarred man came forward, and his expression made Eliza struggle. He had a candle in his hand. "Ever dripped hot wax on yourself accidentally?" he asked, giving a small, sinister chuckle. "This is going hurt, my plump little sparrow."
Eliza never realized it, but the haze in her head cleared as suddenly as if someone had dumped a bucket of cold water over her head. Her elbow went sharply back into Dayne's solar plexus, and almost before she elbowed him, she stomped hard on his foot. He tightened his grip on her upper arms, so she smashed her fist directly into his groin. He finally let her go, and she swiveled and grabbed the temporarily-incapacitated man's arm to steady herself as she bent forward and kicked almost straight back, like a donkey. Her foot took Flame in the throat, but not as hard as she'd hoped. He did drop the candle on the cobblestones, though, and it went out.
Hanold came at her and Eliza ran a few steps to meet him, her right arm fixed at a square angle. As they were about to collide, Eliza's clenched fist took him right under the left side of his ribs. She punched forward and up, as if she were trying to punch through him. He doubled over, retching.
When she spun again, both Dayne and Flame had recovered and were coming at her together. She knew that if she tried to fight them both at the same time, she would likely lose, so she ran toward them, ducking between them. She threw herself to the side as soon as she thought she was out of their reach. Dayne was cursing her in a low, threatening voice, but Flame was eerily silent.
She might have gotten into the alley if she hadn't tripped over a partially uprooted cobblestone. But without even trying to get up, she grabbed the stone and wrenched it free. Flame had reached her first, and she slammed the stone onto his foot. He roared in pain, grabbing her hair in his fist. Instead of pulling away, she pushed toward him, scrambling to her feet as she did. She used her momentum to push him right into Dayne, and as the two men fell, Flame let go of her hair, but not before wrenching it painfully.
Lifting the cobblestone high over her head, she flung it down full force onto Flame's stomach, and since he had landed on top of Dayne, both men grunted in pain. She kicked Dayne sharply in the side and turned. Hanold had been attempting to sneak up on her, but when he saw her face, he backed away before turning and running for the street. Eliza chased him a few steps before she heard the other two trying to get up. Readying herself, she turned, but they were helping each other toward the alleyway. All three men disappeared quickly.
Just as she drew a deep breath, she noticed that both of the cloaked men from inside the tavern had eased into the stable yard. She took a moderately wide stance and raised her hands, prepared to fight some more. But she didn't know if she could fight off two more. Her head was starting to ache, and part of her just wanted to curl up in a little ball and cry.
The taller man, closer to her, raised his hands in a placating gesture and backed away, but the shorter man stayed.
"If you're after my purse, you're welcome to it," she said, her voice rough. With one hand, she yanked it from the ring sewn to the inside of the bottom edge of her corset, not caring if she broke the strings. She flung it at the man's feet, but he ignored it. In an angry movement, he jerked the hood of his cloak back. Eliza gasped.
"Elrick?"
"Imagine my surprise when I noticed a girl climbing out of a window as I approached the inn where I'd been told my companions were lodging," the boy said, rather tersely. "And especially when I got a good look at her face." He frowned at her.
Ignoring his lecturing tone, Eliza asked, "Who was that other man with you?" Her stomach, already ill at ease from the ale and the fight, roiled. Had it been Sir Ryan? But why would he have left like that?
"I know not," Elrick said. "I followed you here and took a small table at the back. He came in shortly after and asked to share my table. He left just before me, but was out of sight before I got outside. I didn't even realize he was in this stable yard until he left just now." After a brief pause, he took on a lecturing tone again. "I almost did not find you in time."
"What do you mean, in time? You didn't arrive until I already had them running."
"True," Elrick said, "but what about that other cloaked man? Who knows what mischief he intended?"
As soon as he backed away, the taller cloaked man swung easily to the roof of the tavern, where he lounged in the shadows and listened to Eliza and Elrick's heated discussion. Rumpelstiltskin's eyes glinted for a moment as he snickered softly to himself. He hadn't gotten a fresh hair sample yet, but just from her actions tonight, he rather suspected that Eliza was perfect for his purposes. He had wondered at first if she could defeat those three rough men, but as the fight had progressed, he realized he would not need to use his magic to aid her.
The squire, four years Eliza's junior, tried to maintain his anger, but Rumpelstiltskin knew that the young man was greatly relieved to find the princess unharmed. He smirked and nearly giggled aloud when the headstrong girl took control.
"Speak of this to no one, squire," she said, the hint of anger hiding her fear that the boy would tell others. "I will be forever in your debt, and in return, I will swear, upon anything you name, that I will never do this sort of thing again." In truth, the girl had been terrified by her encounter with the rougher side of common folk, and Rumpelstiltskin could sense that she would not do this again regardless.
As the two agreed and made their way out of the stable yard, Rumpelstiltskin finally let out a small giggle. There would be other opportunities to acquire her hair. In particular, there would a ball in less than two years; a masked event that the girl had yet to dream up, but it would provide ample opportunity for him to gather the evidence he needed.
Paige knew it was a dream right away. Not just any dream, but one of Gold's dreams. He wasn't here yet, but she probably only had a moment or so to herself. She decided that she was tired of being Paige. The room was still misty and undefined, and on a sudden whim, Paige changed it to the garden in her father's castle, the one that her mother had loved so. The same one where she had been weeping for her brothers when her father summoned her to meet with Rumpelstiltskin.
A stand mirror appeared, and in it was reflected Eliza, her hair flowing freely to her thighs, with the Blueberry Diadem perched on her head. She was wearing a simple green dress that had been one of her favorites, in spite of its full skirts. Andrew had been very fond of seeing her in green. She caught a reflection of something behind her and the stand mirror vanished before she had even fully turned.
"Rumpelstiltskin," she said softly and uncertainly. He looked lost and alone, and she wasn't accustomed to seeing him like this. Before she spoke, he had been Mr. Gold, but as soon as she used his other name, his impish form stood before her. "What's wrong," she asked, crossing the garden to stand in front of him.
"Belle," he started, his voice rough. But he didn't want to finish that sentence, didn't want to say it aloud.
"What happened," Eliza asked softly, stroking his hair back out of his face.
"She… she never wants to see me again." His face was bleak.
Eliza put her arms around him. "I'm so sorry," she whispered.
"It's – it's my fault," Rumpelstiltskin managed to say, his voice soft. "I couldn't – I said things, hid things from her. I don't even know why I did it. She deserves to know."
Leading him over to a stone bench, Eliza sat down with him. But before she could say anything, he continued.
"I, ah, spoke to Ruby earlier," he said. Eliza wasn't sure why he was changing the subject until he continued. "She said that Belle was quite interested in the library. So I made some inquiries, and I've acquired the key for her." He swallowed. "There's even… there's an apartment above it, for the caretaker. So she won't have to depend on anyone's charity."
Eliza's face was both compassionate and stern. "Rumpelstiltskin, you cannot buy her love. Even with something like this."
"I know. I – I almost wish I could, but then…" His voice trailed off.
Eliza thought she knew what he meant, so she said, "If love could be bought so easily, it wouldn't be worth fighting for."
Rumpelstiltskin gave her a grateful look. He had hoped Paige, or Eliza, he supposed she was right now, would understand. "I won't even tell her it was me. I'll just leave the key at Granny's for her."
Eliza was silent for a moment. "Maybe you should tell her."
"I don't want her to think… what you thought at first," he said. He didn't want Belle to believe that he thought so little of her that he could buy her forgiveness with extravagant gestures or gifts.
"Tell her you don't mean it that way. Tell her that it's because you truly care about her, and if you can, tell her at least some of those things you said she deserves to know. Be as honest with her as you can make yourself be. I know it's hard. I still – there are things Andrew deserves to know that I can't seem to make myself tell him." Like the fact that she had known all along who she really was, and more, who she had been sleeping with. He still thought that she had been as blindly unaware as everyone else. "But if you can tell her even a part of it, that will help. Belle is your true love, and while I can't promise that she'll fall into your arms and forgive you, I can promise you that it will mean the world to her if you can let her in, even just a little bit. If I were in Belle's shoes, and Andrew in yours, I know I would appreciate the honesty."
Rumpelstiltskin gave a mirthless chuckle. "So I guess he's right," he murmured, but when Eliza asked what he meant, he just shook his head. "Something I've heard before, is all. But why honesty? It's never been my strong suit."
Eliza sounded almost surprised. "It's not anyone's," she said. "We're all of us terrified to expose our true selves, especially to someone we love. We're afraid that if they know the truth, if they find out who we really are, they'll stop loving us. More often than not, we're so disgusted by our own perceived faults that we instinctively try to hide them from anyone that we're afraid to lose. That's why honesty is so very powerful. It takes great courage to let someone see us as we truly are, and those we love respond to that honesty by loving us all the more, not because of our faults, and not in spite them, but because we care enough to take that risk."
Not knowing how to respond to what Eliza had just told him, Rumpelstiltskin leaned into her. With his head on her shoulder, his face was pressed against her neck. She put her arms around him without a second thought, and after a long moment, she felt his arms wrap gingerly around her. She held him and stroked his hair, and before long, he was clinging to her. Only his iron resolve kept him from weeping. And he bent that resolve to one purpose: He must be honest with Belle in the morning. She deserved at least that much.
Eliza ached to see Rumpelstiltskin in so much pain. So when she felt a moment of disappointment that nothing fun would be happening tonight, she squashed it almost before it had fully formed. There was always the vibrator, once she had woken up. It wasn't the same, but he needed comfort right now, not sex.
As if he had sensed that thought, Rumpelstiltskin nuzzled Eliza's neck. She felt his lips press against her throat for a moment before they opened so he could suck and nibble on her skin. Her lips parted and she gave a soft, tremulous sigh. "It's okay, Rumple," she said. "You don't have to do this."
"I want to," he murmured against her neck. He brought one hand around to knead one of her breasts. "I want this."
His lips brushing against her skin as he spoke made Eliza shiver deliciously. "But Belle –"
"Isn't here right now," he said, interrupting. "If that changes, or if your young man comes to his senses, then we'll stop. But right now, Eliza, I want this. I want you."
She almost wondered if he was only using her for comfort, but then she realized what he meant about Andrew. Eliza knew that if Rumpelstiltskin and Belle truly became a couple, she would not want to jeopardize it for him, even though she would miss him, miss his touch, his body. Even if Andrew forsook her, she would still want Rumpelstiltskin to be happy. And what he had just said made it clear that he felt the same.
Eliza opened her mouth to say something, but whatever it was flew out of her mind as he put both arms around her and lifted her up. When she wrapped her legs around his waist for balance, his erection pressed against her, and she felt her cheeks flush. Her breathing grew ragged as they locked glances while he carried her across the garden. His gaze was raw with lust, and with a deeper need. His eyes were telling her that, even if she didn't think of sex as a form of comfort, it was what he needed right now. Somehow, having sex with her would ease his pain. Eliza wasn't sure she could understand that, but if this was what he needed, she would gladly give it to him. For a brief moment, she wondered if what he really craved was her affection, and somehow only intimacy could reassure him that he had it. She leaned her head forward and kissed him gently, tenderly, telling him how much she cared without saying a word. But before the kiss could deepen, she felt him kneel down on the ground.
As he placed her on the grass, they were both suddenly naked. As he had once envisioned, her hair was spread out beneath her, here in this garden where he had watched her say farewell to her brothers for the winter. For a moment, he held himself above her, not touching her at all. Then he lowered his body, kissing her as he pressed himself against her, but not inside, not yet. Her hips began to shift, seemingly of their own accord, rubbing her sweet spot against the length of him. "Oh, Rumpelstiltskin!" she moaned, her lips brushing against his. Yes, this was exactly what he had fantasized about while making that deal with her father.
"You like that, Eliza?" he asked, his voice low and rough. Before she could answer, he worked himself inside of her, listening to the soft, passionate sounds she made as he did so. The lack of foreplay meant that she wasn't as wet as usual, but he took it slow, pushing all the way in only to pull himself back out. He worked his hips, rubbing himself against her sweet spot again, then slid all the way in, slowly, and pulled back out again. He wanted this encounter to last as long as possible.
When Paige woke in her bed in Storybrooke, still writhing as her last orgasm faded, her breath was shaky and uneven. He had worked her over so thoroughly that she had felt like she was going crazy from the pleasure. She couldn't even remember how many orgasms she'd had. That, she thought to herself, is what they mean when they talk about having your mind totally blown. It had been amazing, and she found herself wondering if it would be their last time. If Belle was able to forgive Mr. Gold, things might change drastically. But even though she would be sad to have it all end, she knew, as she had known in the dream, that she could not be selfish enough to want him to risk his happiness for her.
She yawned and rolled over, not bothering to get out of bed and clean herself up. She was too tired, and besides, she wasn't sure her legs would support her just yet, even though it had only been a dream. She fell almost immediately into a more restful, regular sleep.
The next morning, Gold slipped into the lobby of the Inn side of Granny's when he knew there would be no one there. He left a small box at the front desk, and as he left, he rang the little bell next to the door. His heart was breaking as he prepared to say goodbye to Belle, but Paige and David were right. She deserved to at least know the truth.
A Few Notes:
This chapter takes place during the episode "The Crocodile."
The song "Caviar" can be heard at many Renaissance Faires; some of the lyrics I used here are lyrics I've heard at the Ren Faire I go to every year, and some I got from various websites, and some I tweaked a bit myself.
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