Twenty Five

They had made arrangements to meet each other on Sunday at the home they once shared. They both had two days to prepare themselves for what was more than likely either a finality of or a new start to their relationship. To say they were both walking bundles of nerves was an understatement. Ororo kept reminding herself that this was for the best and that this had to be done. But no matter how much she attempted to reinforce her positivity, old doubts would always resurface.

During the day, to deal with the potential ramifications of what was sure to be one of the most emotionally draining moments of her life and to help alleviate the nervousness and gain back her equilibrium, she kept herself busy with her work and tending to her plants. However, during the nights, she had nothing to keep her busy, so she stayed up until the wee hours of the morning, agonizing over the impending meeting. There wasn't a thing to bring her relief for her apprehension…not even talking at length with Logan and Nathan about it. Oddly enough, their reassurances only served to bring home the full gravity of the impending conversation with Jean.

Ororo had replayed in her head countless times exactly what she was going to say and how she was going to say it. Goddess! There was so much she wanted…needed to say to Jean, but she didn't know if she had the right words or would ever have the right words. What she did know was that she was going to get everything out…every last heartache and hurt, so there would be no misunderstanding as to where she stood. And she was going to do so in an amicable way. Jean being willing to listen to what she had to say was another story. All she can hope for was that at the end of this everyone involved will be able to move on and heal from this years-long wound.

Jean's approach in dealing with the looming showdown was to use the time to do something constructive. She continuously scoured the want ads to find gainful employment and an apartment. She was like a woman obsessed, combing through ads in the periodicals and on the internet. Her goal was to show both Ororo and her son that she was going to do whatever it took to do right by them. She was going to show them both that she wanted to be part of their lives.

However, thoughts of her looming conversation with Ororo were never far from her mind. She both dreaded and looked forward to the meeting. She knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that in the aftermath of this confrontation, life as she knew it would never be the same and not just for her, but for everyone involved. Whether or not she had the right words to say what she needed to say remain to be seen and she continuously wracked her brain to find them. However, she had decided that she was going to be nothing but honest with Ororo, laying everything out in the open. It would be a difficult task, but Jean had steeled herself, knowing that she had no other recourse but to go that route.

Jean thought about all the years she had wasted living the life that she wanted, only to discover that that life had left her hollow and miserable. It was devastating to realize that she had been living in a fool's paradise all this time. The 'what ifs' constantly ate at her and she had to force herself from going down that road. She didn't need the old doubts and fears to take over. She saw this meeting with Ororo as her last chance to repent for her behavior and she wasn't going to waste the opportunity. She was going to use that opportunity to show her sister and her son that she was focused on becoming the woman they needed her to be…the woman she should have been from the get go.

Ororo awakened on Sunday morning to the vicious rumbling of thunder courtesy of the violent thunderstorm that was currently moving through the area. She smiled, as she had always enjoyed thunderstorms and other weather occurrences. She slowly climbed out of bed to begin her morning routine. The aftermath of the early morning storm ushered in an extremely hot and humid day. The central air unit she had to scrimp and scrape to afford would sure get some usage today. As she set about her day, she couldn't shake the feeling that today was going to be another one of those life altering days. As she prepared a simple breakfast and went about doing some last minute chores in preparation for Jean's arrival, the peculiar foreboding only grew in its intensity.

The day moved at a snail's pace and coupled with the hot weather caused Ororo's nerves to be frayed by the time for Jean's arrival came around. While she waited for her sister, she paced the entire length of the solarium like a lunatic. Her brain was addled and her thoughts she believed she had a grip on were now scattered all over the place. Her emotions were hanging on by a thread. What if Jean didn't show up? What if…? No, no, no. She would not think about that. She had to believe that this was as important to Jean as it was to her. She wouldn't dare be a no-show.

Jean's steps were measured as she stepped out of her rental car into the stifling heat and approached the front door of her former home. The couple of times she had been back, she didn't have the time or desire to admire the structure. She took the time to do so now. She smiled faintly as she allowed the sheer majesty of the structure she had always been proud to call her home, to fill her vision. The structure itself remained the same, with a few cosmetic changes here and there. This home had always been a source of comfort and joy for her…well at least when her mother was alive.

She expelled a deep breath as she willed the oxygen in and out of her body. Her expression was an unreadable one when she reached out with a shaky hand to ring the bell that would announce her arrival. She felt the sweat running down her back and the beginnings of her plain white T-Shirt sticking to her skin, as she stood waiting to enter. When she heard Ororo's unhurried steps, her heart began slamming inside her chest. Afraid that it would beat its way outside her body, she took a few deep, quivering breaths to quell the rush of trepidation. She felt like a woman heading to the gallows, as she heard the door's lock clicked, enabling Ororo to open the door. As much as she was hesitant to get this over with, she knew that it was an absolute necessity in order for her family to heal and move on.

Ororo froze at the sound of the loud peal of the doorbell. The moment of truth had arrived. There was no retreating now, no backing down. This had to be done, she mused to herself and repeated silently as she willed her legs to move to answer her sister's call. She donned a mask that would give one the impression that she was nothing but cool, calm and collected. However, she was a tight ball of knots inside. Her steps were unrushed as she moved and in a matter of seconds, she was standing before the door. Her breath lodged in her throat, effectively cutting off her breathing. She struggled to regain her equilibrium and breathe again, when with trembling hands, she reached out and switched the lock open, turning the knob and slowly opening the door.

They stood facing each other for what seemed like an eternity, both hesitant to make the first move. Finally, Ororo stepped aside, silently bidding Jean to enter. Jean gave her a tight smile and stepped into the air conditioned room, welcoming the cool air on her heated skin. The click of the door closing was like a shot in the stillness of the room and it carried with it an air of inevitability to it.

Without a word, Ororo turned on her heels and walked briskly to the solarium. Jean meekly followed her. When they arrived in the room, Jean took some time to look around. The room was quite different from what she actually remembered of it. It was apparent to her that this was Ororo's favorite part of the house.

Never one to forget to be gracious, Ororo asked, "Would you like something to drink or eat?"

Jean looked everywhere but at her sister. "Some juice, thank you," she answered softly.

Grateful that she had an opportunity to escape the room for a while, but not letting it show, Ororo made her way to the kitchen. A few minutes later, she was back with a tray holding a pitcher of pink lemonade, an ice bucket and two glasses, a plate of chocolate chip cookies and some napkins. She placed a few ice cubes in each glass then filled them with the beverage. She then handed one to Jean, who was now seated on the cushioned wicker recliner.

Nodding her thanks, Jean took the glass and drank. Tentatively, she placed the glass on the side table.

Silence reigned as Ororo took the chair opposite Jean. Daintily sipping from her own glass, Ororo casually gaze at her sister over the rim of the glass.

Jean glanced at Ororo then away again. Someone had to break the ice and as it was apparent that Ororo was stubborn in that regard, she would have to be the one to do it. "I like this room."

Ororo's eyes swung to look at her sister and she placed her glass down on the floor. Apparently, Jean didn't like the unnerving silence any more than she did. "Yes, thank you. I took my time creating this room by myself."

Jean took a deep breath and tried her best to keep the blue gaze staring back at her. "I'm glad you called."

Ororo shrugged. "I…uh…I think it was time enough for us to talk."

Jean nodded. "Yes. I think so too."

Ororo sighed, not feeling to prolong this more than she had too. "I just do not know where to start."

Jean closed her eyes. When she opened them, she glanced down at her fingernails, trying to get her thoughts in order. "I guess we could get the hard parts out of the way first."

Ororo cocked a snowy eyebrow. "All the parts of this are hard, Jean. There is no escaping that."

"I know. I'm not minimizing it. I just…there's a lot I want to say and explain."

"I am listening."

Jean took a deep breath and stood. Slowly, she walked over to one of the corners of the room where framed pictures lined the wall. She focused on one picture in particular. Her parents on their wedding day. They both looked so happy, so full of life and love, ready to tackle the world together. She closed her eyes briefly as her fingers ghosted over the picture. "They say life is a bitch, then you die," she murmured. "I'm not going to even say I'm sorry to you because my apologies are simply worthless and will ring empty."

She sighed and moved to another part of the room, where there were tons of awards, obviously belonging to Nathan on display in a corner curio. She smiled softly, reminded of the outstanding job Ororo did with the boy. She peered closely to a specific one that caught her eye, the President's Award for Educational Excellence. "One of the best and happiest moments of my life was when Mom and Dad told me that I now had a sister. You and I were already great friends, but you being adopted by them was icing on the cake."

Ororo nodded, knowing this as they had discussed it many times, back when things were so much simpler.

Jean turned around and braved a glance at Ororo, but a seemingly indifferent face stared back at her. She refused to be discouraged at her sister's unresponsiveness. She sighed. "I would live the rest of my life knowing that I've hurt the ones who loved me the most. Knowing what I've done to you all plagues at me every day."

"When Mom died, I suddenly felt lost and alone. Mom was like my hero. She could do no wrong in my eyes. Everything seemed so different after that. Dad was no longer the man we both knew and loved. You became more of a bookworm than you already were. And I…I…" She paused when a sob escaped her. She gasped for breath and tears pooled in her eyes.

"I chose to cope by turning to the very scourge of society…everything we were warned against…sex, drugs, alcohol. Before I knew it, I was fixated on and enjoying that lifestyle. I just didn't care about anything and anyone any more, except for myself and feeling good."

Jean slowly walked around the room, touching and admiring things that were familiar to her. "That's not an excuse, but I found it easier to deal with that life instead of dealing with the fact that my hero was gone forever."

"What changed, Jean? We were all so happy. Mom's death should have brought us all closer, not driven us apart," Ororo murmured softly, her first words since Jean began talking. "I felt her death keenly too. It was like losing my own mother all over again."

"You're right, 'Roro. It should have brought us closer together, but it didn't. I played a major part in that." She sighed, her voice shook on her next words. "I regret that so much…so damn much." The tears that pooled in her eyes earlier, now ran down her hollowed cheekbones. She reclaimed her seat and attempted to get her emotions under control, trembling hands reaching for a chocolate chip cookie.

After a few minutes of a brooding silence, Jean took a deep breath and continued, "I stopped caring about anything and anyone except myself after Mom died. Dad tried to get me back in line, but I rebelled. Going to the Catskills was his last resort."

Ororo nodded, knowing that to be truth. Charles wanted to show his daughters that he hadn't forgotten about them, even if he was consumed in his grief.

Jean looked at Ororo with pained eyes. "That summer was like a roller coaster ride. Everything went downhill fast." She paused for a deep breath. "That summer I made so many choices out of spite and…out of jealousy."

Ororo's brows knitted in perplexity. She asked for clarification. "What are you talking about, Jean?"

Jean stood and resumed strolling around the room. She went to the window and braced her shoulder against the frame with her back to Ororo. She was unable to bear looking into Ororo's eyes as she was about to reveal the next few truths. She was afraid of what she would see in her expression when she told her the truth. She drew in a heavy breath and spoke quietly, "I really didn't want to be at the Catskills with you and Dad. I had just turned eighteen and thought there were better ways for me to spend my summer. But all that changed once I saw Logan. I wanted him."

Ororo's eyes narrowed perceptibly. Even though she was secure in her knowledge that Logan's heart was hers, it didn't help to hear her sister admit that she once wanted the man she was in love with. "Well obviously you both had each other," she scoffed accusingly.

Jean shut her eyes briefly and said softly. "Yes. I wanted him because I wanted something you had." She rested her head against the window jamb and stared sightlessly through the blinds.

She glanced back in time to see bewilderment marring Ororo's face. "What did I have that you could have possibly wanted?" She snapped, irritated with her sudden silence.

Jean hung her head as the tears began to fall and her shoulders shook with her weeping. She was so ashamed of her behavior. "Logan's love," she voice softly.

Ororo stood up abruptly and glared at her in shock. She shook her head, at first unable to voice her thoughts aloud. Her eyes remained still and wide as she stared at Jean from across the room. "Goddess!" she said on a filament of breath. She quickly made her way over to where Jean stood and spun her around to look at her. The intense look she pierced her with was enough to make Jean quake in her shoes.

Jean squeezed her eyes shut, unable to stand the gravity of Ororo's gaze. "It's the truth," she murmured weakly.

Ororo shook her head furiously in disbelief. She found when she tried to speak, her lips quivered uncontrollably. She spun away from her, making an effort to control her rising temper.

"I wasn't too naïve not to know what was going on between you and Logan."

"Nothing happened between Logan and I!"

Jean lifted stubborn eyes to Ororo. She laughed mirthlessly. "You and Logan never recognized it for what it was. You two developed a bond…a very strong one. As someone from the outside, looking in, I saw two people falling in love."

Ororo threw up her hands in the air in disbelief then made her way to the opposite end of the room. "I do not know what kind of sick joke this is, Jean, but I assure you, I do not find it funny."

"I'm not joking!" Jean thundered.

"I was only thirteen at that time!"

"And you don't think that you could have develop feelings at that age?" Jean retorted defiantly.

"No!" What Jean was suggesting was sheer lunacy. She in love at thirteen? And with Logan? She didn't even know what she wanted to be when she grew up at that age, much less knew if she was in love.

"Believe it!"

Jean's fiery statement served to open a floodgate of memories and feelings for Ororo from that summer. For so long she had chosen to brush off what she had felt for Logan since that summer as nonsense, opting to believe that she was too young to ever experience something of that magnitude. Even as she grew into an adult and realized what those feelings were and remained, she had still brushed them off. Now, standing in this face off with her prodigal sister, she had no choice but to accept that Jean was right.

Both women stared each other down, as if caught up in a trance. Jean was hard-pressed to relent from what she knew to be the truth and Ororo was hard-pressed to admit what she had known to be the truth but had stubbornly refused to acknowledge as such.

The silence between them stretched on, until Ororo's cell phone jangled loudly, bringing them both out of their stupor. Ororo weighed the wisdom of answering, not wanting anything to interrupt this moment. The phone was on its sixth ring before she gave in and practically lunged to the side table where the phone laid. She frowned at the unrecognizable number.

"Hello?" She answered uneasily.

"Miss Munroe?" The female voice was cold.

"Yes, this is Miss Munroe. Who is this?"

"Dr. Reyes. I filled in for Dr. Foley today at the nursing home," the caller identified herself. "Your father was taken to the emergency room a few minutes ago."

"What?! What happened? Is he…?"

"Please," the doctor interjected, effectively cutting Ororo off. "You need to get down to the hospital as soon as possible." The doctor said, conveying urgency

Ororo went cold. Nausea churned in her stomach. She clutched the phone tighter to her ear. Jean sensed the change in her sister and a feeling of dread immediately filled her soul.

"My father," Ororo gulped. "Is he alright?"

"Please Miss Munroe. Just get here quickly. We need his next of kin."

Next of kin. The proverbial phrase of impending tragedy. That dreadful official phrase that was only reserved in medical lingo for those who had to be notified when someone they love was knocking on death's door. Ororo's knees grew weak and it was only sheer will that keep her on her feet and not sinking to the floor.

"Miss Munroe?"

Several moments of silence had ticked by while Ororo tried to absorb the heartbreaking enormity of this call. "I shall be there soon."

She hung up the phone before the doctor could say any more. Her knees buckled beneath her when she turned to Jean with teary eyes.

Jean stumbled towards her, trying to hold her steady. That feeling of dread she felt minutes ago had now morphed into full blown terror. She knew that phone call was about their father. "'Roro? What's wrong? What's wrong with Dad?"

"We have to get to the hospital now," Ororo wailed, all but tripping over her unsteady feet in her haste to retrieve her car keys and purse.

Jean was right behind her, her eyes rife with panic. Their harsh words of earlier were forgotten. All that mattered now was Charles Xavier. No more words were said as Ororo vaguely remembered to secure the premises and both women ran to their respective vehicles. Prayers, pleas and promises were chanted as they rushed to their dying father's side.

When they arrived at the hospital, they parked their vehicles and dashed towards the emergency room doors. Prayers, pleas and promises were repeated with each footfall they made.

Jean was the first one to arrive at the nurses' station desk. "Charles Xavier," she gasped breathlessly.

The on duty nursed leveled her with a mournful stare. "You are?" She asked, just as Ororo reached the desk.

"We're his daughters," Jean answered haughtily.

The nurse's sorrowful eyes switched to Ororo. "He's in with the doctors. They're doing whatever they can for him."

Not a good sign. Ororo gulped for breath. "What floor is he on?"

"Four."

"Thank you." Without realizing it, Ororo grabbed Jean's hand and together they ran to the elevator.

"He may be in there for a while," the nurse called out. She was no doubt cautioning them on not to hold out any hope that their father would pull through.

On the fourth floor, the LPN at that nurses' station confirmed that Charles was being worked on by the doctors. "Are you his next of kin?" She inquired politely.

"Yes, we are," Ororo answered. "Can you tell us anything? The doctor was not very forthcoming over the phone."

The nurse made a clucking sound of regret. "I'm sorry, but you'll have to wait for the doctor. Why don't you have a seat over there and wait," she said, indicating a waiting area. "I'm sure the doctor will brief you when they're done."

Wait?! Wait?! Ororo gave the nurse the evil eye, but kept her emotions in check when she actually felt like screaming the place down. Jean seeing that she was teetering on the edge, gently grabbed her by the forearm and pulled her towards the waiting area.

After a few minutes, Ororo stood and turned to Jean. "Logan and Nathan are headed back tonight. I am going to call and let them know to meet us here." She quickly moved away, not waiting for Jean to respond.

"There was no answer from their cell phones," Ororo began as she claimed a seat a few feet away from Jean. "I left messages for both of them."

Jean nodded absently, feeling completely helpless. The nurse's prediction that they would hear something about their father's condition proved false. They sat in the waiting room and no one came out of the room housing Charles for what seemed like an eternity to offer a report on him. They were there for over two hours when Dr. Foley emerged from the operating room wearing his surgery scrubs. They both jumped up from their seats, their eyes frantic with anguish. Unconsciously, they moved closer to each other.

Dr. Foley looked exhausted. "He's alive," he murmured, relieving them of their primary fear. "But barely. The prognosis isn't good. We have done all we could for him. He suffered a thrombotic stroke." At their confused expressions, he continued, "Basically, there were a few large blood clots that blocked the middle cerebral artery, which is one of the brain's most important blood vessels and blocked off blood from flowing to the brain."

"Will he live, Doctor?" Jean asked the question fearfully.

Dr. Foley didn't even bother to sugarcoat the scenario nor beat around the bush. "Death is an outcome with these types of strokes. Unfortunately, his was a massive one so I do not predict him surviving for long. We've made him comfortable. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to get back in there."

"Can we see him?" Ororo asked, clutching the doctor's arm.

The doctor pondered the question for a moment, intent on denying the request, but their anxious expressions made him relent. "As soon as I have him move to the intensive care unit, then you can both go in but for no more than five minutes." He turned and headed back into the room at a brisk pace.

Ororo and Jean stood in the middle of the waiting area shell shocked. Their father was not going to make it. This was surreal. The doctor's words were blunt and forced them to see that they had no choice but to accept the inevitable. A half an hour later when Dr. Foley returned, the sisters, forgetting their harsh words to each other earlier, did something that had been natural to them before life and rash decisions tore them apart, they clasped each other around the waist and followed the doctor to spend what could possibly be the final moments with their father.

Chapter 26 Sneak Peek – Tragedy gives hope for reconciliation.