Beautiful Nightmare
A Glee Fan Fiction
Chapter 25

"Rachel, can we talk?"

"I already know, Noah," She rolled her eyes, slamming her locket shut, closing her eyes. She wasn't facing him, and he couldn't get a good judge on what her emotions or reactions to his arrival were at the moment. And that scared him more than anything.

"I'm so sorry, Rachel. I really didn't mean it. You know that I love-"

"I know," She sighed, turning around to face him but keeping her head held low, still not allowing him to see her face in order to try and figure out what feelings were running across her face or try and read her mind to figure out the thoughts dancing through her head.

"Will you just give me a chance to-"

"I'm not mad, Noah!" She snapped, looking up at him with a tired expression on her face. "I'm not angry or upset or whatever you want to say about it, alright? I'm hurt, okay? I'm merely hurt that you would say that to her, but I understand," She exclaimed.

"Rachel, I'm sorry! It's just-"

"I get it, okay? She was having your baby. She had your first daughter and your first kid. Dammit, Noah, I can't freaking compete with that, no matter what happens to us in the future. Quinn is always going to be the mother of your first kid. And Santana is always going to be your first," She replied.

"Rachel, you really don't under-"

"I do understand. I thought that I had something over them, no matter what they had claim over, because I thought that I was your first love," She whispered, looking back at the ground. "But, now I know that I wasn't even that," She shook her head.

"Please, I don't want to-"

"You don't want to do this? Well, you know what? We need to do this. We need to talk about this, because I need to know where we stand. I need to make sure I know if what you said was just because you remembered how you used to feel and she was having your kid or if you really meant it," She sighed.

"You know that I-"

"That you love me? Yeah, you know what? I thought I knew that and all, but I don't think so anymore. I mean, I think that you love me, there's no doubt about that. But I'm not so sure if you're actually still in love with me," She said, giving him a small smile.

"Are you-are you breaking up with me?" He asked, his voice lowering and softening.

"I don't know what I'm doing right now. But I do know that whatever I deluded myself into thinking we had is now something I'm not so sure about anymore," She frowned. "Listen, I need to think and you need to figure out what you feel," She shrugged before turning on her heel and walking away.

"I had to tell her, Puck," Quinn whispered that day during lunch. "I'm sorry, Puck, but she's my best friend and what you said-she deserved to know, alright? I just...what did you expect me to do? I was...I get that it was all caught up in a moment of, like, love or something like that, but she deserved to know, didn't she? You were going to tell her yourself anyways, weren't you? I don't-"

"She broke up with me, Quinn,"

"She-she actually broke up with you because of it? Oh, my god, Puck, I'm sorry, I didn't think she would be that upset. I told her that you were only saying it because of the baby and all that, and that it wouldn't have happened if she hadn't forced you to come to the hospital with me but-oh, shit, this is all my fault, isn't it? I tried to blame her and, oh, Puck, I'm so sorry," Quinn frowned, burying her face in her hands.

"I don't want to talk about this right now. Especially not with you," Puck crossed his arms.

"Oh, um, alright, I guess. I mean, I understand that," She lowered her head. "But, just so you know, whatever you felt in the hospital? I felt it all too. We weren't able to help it, because no matter what was going to happen with Beth, we both loved her, because she was ours." She whispered, standing up and turning around, starting to walk away from the boy that she was starting to fall in love with all over again.

"What did happen with Beth?" Puck called out, right before she left the choir room.

"Rachel's mom," Quinn said softly, not looking back at him. "She came to the hospital and talked to me about adopting her, and, I said it was okay. I didn't think about how it would affect you or Rachel or anybody. I just...I said yes, because she was just so sad and I was so desperate and I wanted Beth to be with somebody who really wanted her. Don't hate me, Puck," She begged, flashing a sad smile over her shoulder before leaving him alone in the choir room.

"Alright you bastard, what the hell did you do to my best friend?" Santana asked, waltzing into the room and dropping down into a chair next to him.

"She broke up with me, Satan," Puck rolled his eyes. Santana gave him that terrifying look she always managed to flash to get whatever information she wanted out of anybody. "Alright, I told Quinn I loved her at the hospital. But I mean, Rachel said she understood that. I don't get why she broke up with me. Quinn was having my baby and I told her that I loved her, because of Beth." Puck groaned.

"She's torn up about this whole baby thing. Not just you telling Quinn that."

"What's that mean?" Puck asked. "I'm not a girl and I don't have a pocket version of how to understand them, alright? I don't even think they could make a pocket edition of that book." He groaned. "Is she upset about her mom adopting Beth, because I had nothing to do with that. I just found out about it right before Quinn left. And I can't change that. How am I supposed to make it up to her?" He asked.

"We're talking about Rachel Berry, here, aren't we?" Santana raised an eyebrow.

"I'm not in the mood for any of these little games, Satan," Puck growled. "Why don't you just tell me what the hell you're trying to say so I can get Rachel back and end this year on a high note-because if I don't have her back before summer starts, I'm never getting her back. And I'll die without her. I will die without her, okay? I'm not being overly dramatic. I need her," Puck said.

"You really love her, don't you?"

"Hell yeah, I do. She means the world to me," Puck said. "But clearly she doesn't think that about me. She doesn't believe that I love her. She doesn't know how much I need her. She doesn't get that my entire world is centered around her-the only girl that can make me act like a totally whipped pussy. And I don't know what I can do to prove it to her," He said, lowering his head in defeat. It sickened Santana to see him like this. He'd always been so strong.

"There's only one way, really. Rachel only understands things through music," Santana shrugged, giving him a sad smile before leaving.

"Rachel, please just listen to this song-no, don't talk. Listen," Puck said as he started to strum the notes on his guitar and then began to sing.

"I'd love to know just what you're thinking/Every little river, runnin' through your mind/You give and you take, you come and you go/You leave me here wonderin' if I'll ever know/How much you care or how much you don't/Whatever you need, whatever you want/If you're gonna be somebody's heartbreak/If you're gonna be somebody's mistake/If you're gonna be somebody's first time/Somebody's last time, baby be mine/If you're lookin' to be somebody's 'just friends'/A little laughin', little lovin', never callin' again, that's just fine/If you're gonna be somebody's heartbreak, be mine-yeah, oh be mine," He started to sing.

Rachel stood up, shaking her head as she started to walk from the chorus room. Of course, Puck just stood up and followed her.

"I guess that all I'm tryin' to tell ya/Is a minute with you is better than two without/Oh, I won't be a fool but I can't play it cook/So, I'm playin' safe and I'm breakin' the rules/ I'm wishin' I had what I know that you got/So if you're comin' my way then please don't stop/If you're gonna be somebody's heartbreak/If you're gonna be somebody's mistake/ If you're gonna be somebody's first time, somebody's last time, baby be mine/If you're lookin' to be somebody's just friends/A little laughin' little lovin' never callin' again, that's just fine/If you're gonna be somebody's heartbreak, be mine-oh, woah," He sang on, walking down the halls beside her, singing.

Rachel shook her head as she stopped at her locker, leaning against it and facing him with an angry look on her face, arms crossed.

"If you're gonna be somebody's heartbreak or somebody's mistake/Somebody's first time or their last time/Baby be mine/If you're lookin' to be somebody's just friends, a little laughin', little lovin', never callin' again-that's just fine/If you're gonna be somebody's heartbreak/Be mine-be mine/Oh I'll take my chances/If you're gonna be someone's heartbreak/If you're gonna be someone's mistake/Somebody's first time, somebody's last time-be mine, oh, be mine-be , baby, baby-be mine-all mine/If you're gonna break somebody's heart, yeah, might as well-might as well be mine," He finished the song and looked up at her with a small half grin.

"What do you want me to say?"

"I want you to realize that I love you-not Quinn, and that no matter what you want-whether it be to break my heart into a million pieces because we're no good together or whether you know we shouldn't be together and you want to be my mistake-whether you're looking for somebody to be just friends with while while fooling around-whether you want to be a first time or a last time or whatever-I want you to be mine, okay?" He said. "I want you to know that I love you and I need you and that without you, I'm nothing, alright? I need you to be with me, Rachel," He sighed.

"Alright,"

"Alright? That's all you're going to say? I don't even know what that means! Are we back together? Are we friends with benefits? Are you still not with me? Do you believe everything I just said? What the hell does alright mean? That doesn't tell me anything!" He snapped, only stopping when she leaned in and pressed her lips softly against his. "Alright, that one answers my question," He said, a goofy smile taking over his face as he swung his guitar to the side and wrapped an arm around his girl, starting to walk down the hall. "I love you, Rachel."

"We're not meant for one another. It's no good,"

"That's why we're just a nightmare-a beautiful nightmare that you never want to wake up from," He smiled down at her.