Pairing: This chapter contains references Kira x Hinamori, references to Ichimaru x Matsumoto, references to Hisagi x Hinamori, slight Ukitake/Kira, slight Renji/Kira, and references Renji x Rukia
Rating: M
Warnings: There is also slight OOC, strong language, slight violence, a tiny amount of blood, and slight sexual content.
Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach, Tite Kubo does.

Hinamori's eyes looked over at Matsumoto as she let out a cry of pain. "Rangiku-san? Are you alright?"

It had only gotten worse since she first got in there. Hinamori had watched Matsumoto go through so much pain everyday that had passed. Yumichika would constantly come in to feed her, sit with her and ask what the problem was. He never found out. Yet at the same time Matsumoto refused to go to the 4th Division every time, leaving herself to bathe in her pain.

"It's only a cramp," she stated. "You don't have to worry about me…"

Hinamori looked at the older woman as she took a deep breath. There was something wrong. It wasn't a cramp. She thought back to the moments before she had been thrown in this cell, on that day when Renji was going to be killed. She remembered the look in Renji's eyes as she knelt beside him. He begged her not to go, that he was fine dying. She stayed anyway, hearing Kira's voice cry out to her as if trying to stop all of the madness that was going through his mind. She then remembered, Hisagi's grip as she was put in here, it was obvious, she was going to die.

Was this how Matsumoto felt when she was put in this cell? Did she replay the scene of her arrest over an over? Matsumoto had to live with Hisagi yelling to her as Renji and Hinamori were carried away. She had to think of Kyouraku's broken eyes as he looked upon them like they were nothing more than insects. She was dying.

Did either of them matter? Hisagi said that he was going to free them, but Matsumoto had been in there for months. Did he lie to them? No, she couldn't believe that. It wasn't Hisagi, it was the captains. All of them looked upon them as just lieutenants, they could be easily replaced. They didn't matter to them.

"We're going to get out of here," Matsumoto breathed. "I guarantee that…"

"Hisagi-san is taking too long. He's losing faith in this. I don't know what it feels like to be him, to be a lieutenant trying to convince captains. It must be horrifying," Hinamori closed her eyes.

"He'll get us out," Matsumoto stated. "He'll find a way…"

That moment, everything changed as Matsumoto covered her mouth. Hinamori watched as the older woman retched, her other hand moving to her stomach. It had become more than a cramp it was serious now.

"Ayasegawa-kun!" Hinamori yelled as she looked into the darkness. "Come quick Ayasegawa-kun!"

Yumichika arrived at the door with the keys in hand as he quickly unlocked the door. "Rangiku!" he opened the door as he ran to the 10th Division lieutenant's side. "What happened?"

Hinamori looked at him. "Her health is failing. I don't know what's wrong…"

Yumichika moved his arms to help Matsumoto to her feet. "Easy, Rangiku. We're going to get you to the 4th Division, you can't stay in here anymore," he looked over at Hinamori. "Can I trust you to stay here and not do anything stupid?"

She looked into his eyes; the 5th Seat was begging her not to ruin the chances of setting her free. "I promise…" she watched as he closed the door taking Matsumoto away. "Thank you, Ayasegawa-kun…"

She closed her eyes as she remembered the pain that Matsumoto had gone through. That was her fate. She was going to be the one howling in pain soon enough, she was going to be the one taken to the 4th Division. She knew it was worth it, for every moment she was in that cell, she could hear Renji breathe and it was soothing to her. It was a life for a life, she had saved him.

"I will be saved too," she stated as she looked into the darkness. "Hisagi-san is going to get me out of here."

0o0o0o0o0o0

"Hisagi-fukutaichou!" Yumichika yelled as he ran toward them, Hisagi turning his head to look at him. "Come quick."

"Ayasegawa?" Hisagi asked as he looked over at the 5th Seat, turning away from Kira. "What's wrong?"

He watched as the 11th Division member stopped in front of him trying to catch his breath. Many reasons ran through Hisagi's mind, the biggest one being that Hinamori was in trouble. But her execution hadn't been announced yet, he was still working on the appeals. At that moment he stepped forward, watching as Yumichika looked into his eyes.

"It's Matsumoto-fukutaichou," Yumichika answered breathlessly. "There's something wrong with her. She's in the 4th Division…"

Hisagi looked at Kira and the two started running. Hisagi should have known. He had watched as she had started to get sick and he had done nothing for her except give her more food. That was all that Yamamoto let him do. Yamamoto, he was the one who started this mess. His idea of justice and peace was the reason why Hisagi was running to the 4th Division. He ran faster still as he thought about what could have happened.

She was only arrested because he had to talk. She was only arrested because he had to blame her. It was his fault and he had tried to fix it with all of his might. He had failed. He had allowed her to fall into the clutches of the 4th Division. He had to know what was wrong.

He entered the 4th Division as Kira looked into his eyes. "How could this happen?"

Hisagi looked into his eyes. "For the past few months, Rangiku-san has been ill. We don't know what it was. I have tried to help her, but you know Yamamoto-soutaichou's orders…"

Kira gazed deeper into Hisagi's eyes. "What was happening to her?"

"She had been putting on weight, like she was swelling up, she also felt weak, had vomiting spells, bouts of sorrow," Hisagi shook his head. "I have a theory about this…"

"What do you mean?" Kira asked.

Before he could answer, they looked over to see Unohana in the doorway. The look on her face was enough to melt all of the hope that was within them. It was more serious than they thought. She looked into their eyes and took a deep breath, finally able to reveal what was wrong.

"What's wrong?" Hisagi asked. "What disease is it?"

Unohana shook her head. "It isn't a disease," she took a deep breath. "But I feel that Ichimaru Gin is back…"

"What do you mean?" Kira asked, shuttering at that name.

"Matsumoto Rangiku isn't dying…" Unohana paused as she looked at the 3rd Division lieutenant. "She's pregnant…"

Hisagi caught Kira as he almost fell to the ground, his eyes staring lifelessly at the ceiling. How could that be possible? The security was tighter than ever. There was no way that Ichimaru would be able to get past it. The 9th Division lieutenant looked at Unohana, she wasn't joking about it. This was serious. Hisagi had only one question.

"How far along is she?" he asked as he looked into the captain's eyes.

"Approximately four months, around the time of the hollow attack," Unohana answered as she looked at the two lieutenants, watching their eyes close.

The hollow attack, that was the time when the security was looser than it ever was. Ichimaru had been able to get past all of the guards and still be able to get to Matsumoto. He was behind all of the dead guards. It was only obvious that he was also the one who had taken Kuchiki Byakuya out.

"I was wrong," Hisagi breathed. "I shouldn't have put her in that cell. This is my fault that she's in this situation. I was the one who got her pregnant…" he shook his head. "She's not going back in that cell. No way in Hell! Ichimaru would destroy us all if he heard that we had imprisoned his unborn child."

"Can we see her?" Kira asked.

Unohana nodded. "Yes."

The two lieutenants walked into the room where Matsumoto was, watching as she looked blankly at the ceiling, a hand on her stomach. As the walked closer, they could see the tears that were rolling down her cheeks. It was a shock to her as well. Hisagi moved closer as he fought with himself trying not to go insane.

"Are you alright, Rangiku-san?" Hisagi asked as he looked down into her eyes.

She nodded. "Yes," she took a deep breath. "For once I feel relieved," she looked over at the 3rd and 9th Division lieutenants, a smile on her face. "I knew that I was with child since the day that Ukitake-taichou tried to break me out of the cell. I could tell from the way my body felt. But it wasn't confirmed, not until now."

Hisagi closed his eyes and sighed heavily. "Is Ichimaru the father?"

Matsumoto nodded. "He is…"

Kira stepped forward. "What did he do to you?"

Tears rolled down her cheeks as she looked at them. It had been a while since they had seen her like this. Their hearts broke as they looked into her eyes. She was free, and the second that she was set free they knew she was going to be stuck in yet another prison, one without appeals.

"It had been so long," she breathed. "So long since I had seen him," she fought back another storm of tears as she looked into the other lieutenants' eyes. "Seeing his face one last time it made me feel as though for once in my life nothing else mattered… not even the fact that I was to be killed."

"Matsumoto-san," Kira whimpered.

She could no longer hold her tears as they ran down her cheeks ferociously. "I wished that I had held on longer as well," she choked on a sob. "Even now I wish that I could have held onto him without the fear of losing him once more…"

Kira shook his head. "Ichimaru is a monster. He left you to carry his burden."

"I don't care," she breathed.

"Rangiku-san?" Hisagi asked as he looked deeper into her watering eyes.

"I don't care," she breathed. "It's a burden that I had always wanted to carry. I have no regrets…"

Hisagi looked at Kira. "If Ichimaru is back, then Tousen is close by…"

Kira scoffed as he turned away walking out of the room. The pressure had gotten to him. He was unable to live with what he had just absorbed. After all that he had thrown away, he still hadn't avoided the fact that the ones that everyone that he had loved was going to die.

"Kira, don't be too hard on yourself," Hisagi called out to him.

"There is a madman out there that will kill us all!" Kira yelled as he looked at Hisagi. "He's going to kill me… do you have any idea how long I've been trying to take his title?! I've got to tell him all about this."

"If you take it then you won't have to suffer his wrath. You'll be untouchable…" Hisagi breathed as he walked closer to him. "And if you tell him anything that has happened here, you know that Yamamoto-soutaichou will kill you…"

"I'm not a child, Isai-san," Kira breathed. "I can achieve bankai and I will do whatever I can to get him out of my mind, even if it means killing him," he looked deeper into Hisagi's eyes. "You should do the same…"

Kira left the room, Hisagi taking a step forward. "Kira!"

"Let him go, Shuuhei," Matsumoto breathed.

"Rangiku-san?" Hisagi asked as he looked back at her.

"You don't have to worry about him," she breathed. "You do have to worry about Hinamori though. You should go see how she is faring throughout all of this."

Hisagi took a deep breath, walking forward. "I will stop this… I will catch Ichimaru and I will finish all of this madness…"

As Hisagi left the room, Matsumoto stared at the ceiling again, thinking about the situation that they were in. Everyone had known that Ichimaru was back, but now she had given them tangible proof. The world outside of the walls of the 4th Division was a war zone full of fear and "blood haze." She sighed as she thought about what the world that she had once loved had become. It was now Hell.

"You made a mistake Gin," she breathed as she looked at the ceiling. "They're going to kill you. And what are you dying for? Aizen?" she took a deep breath. "You're pathetic…"

0o0o0o0o0o0

Kira walked down the street, his eyes fixated on the road ahead of him. He had made a mistake by wanting to become a captain in the first place. He wanted to save them. He wanted to save all of them. Now as he looked around, he saw that he had saved no one; he had lined them all up for execution. His heart broke as she thought about what this had become. This had become a blood bath, they were all going to perish here, there was no avoiding it.

"Hey," a voice called out.

Kira looked behind him. "Oh, it's you… what do you want Abarai-kun?"

Renji walked closer. "Kira, about what happened that day. I'm sorry about what I did… I didn't want her to go in my place. I wanted to die there…"

"Yeah, a lot of people wanted you to die there," Kira hissed.

"You don't mean that," Renji whispered.

"Yeah, I do…" he walked closer to him. "You're an idiot; you just had to lose your mind, didn't you? You made Hisagi-san look like a god in Hinamori's eyes. I look like someone who doesn't care, someone who can't do anything. So that's what I'll be, I'll back off…"

Renji walked closer. "You do that and she'll die…"

"She'll die no matter what I do," Kira hissed again. "All thanks to you. So I'm going to close my eyes to all of this and pretend that I don't see it. I'm going to pretend that I don't care so my heart doesn't break more…"

His face was then set aflame as he felt Renji's fist put against his cheek, the inside of his mouth shedding blood. His hand moved to touch the bruised and torn part of his face, his eyes looking at his friend. In Renji's rust colored his eyes he saw the same emotion that he had feared when he first decided to become a captain, he saw the need to draw his blood.

"You don't really love her do you?" Renji asked. "You've been lying to yourself this whole time, haven't you?"

"You asshole!" Kira yelled as he got to his feet, throwing his fist into Renji's chest. "You prick!" he continued to punch as his chest, watching as Renji didn't even flinch, his eyes staring at him with a look of shock hidden deep within them. "I hate you!" he kept hitting him. "I hate you!"

He then fell into Renji's arms, his head resting up against his chest as he fought the tears. Closing his eyes, he listened to his friend's heart, his body shaking as he felt Renji's arm wrap around him, his hand moving to stroke his back.

"I'm so weak," Kira breathed as he took a deep breath. "I'm so damn weak," he pressed himself deeper into Renji's chest. "I couldn't get to my knees that day, I couldn't save you. I couldn't save Ukitake-sama from the hollows. I couldn't stop Hisagi-san from his pain. I couldn't save Matsumoto-san. I was too weak to save anyone."

"It's going to be alright. You have to stop crying," Renji breathed. "Toughen up, Kira… then look at all of your weaknesses and try to repair them," he shook his head. "You aren't weak…"

"I can never be a captain," Kira breathed as his hand tightened on Renji's chest. "I can't look at the scars on Ukitake-sama's arms without thinking of that hollow. Or the scar on his forehead without thinking of the pain that he caused him," he let another tear fall from his eye. "I can't even watch him take those pills without thinking of him dying," he closed his eyes, his voice starting to break as he thought about the 13th Division captain. "I'm not worthy to be near Ukitake-sama, he is a god. He's a god…"

Kira backed away from Renji seeing the look in his eye. He knew that Renji still had faith in him; he never gave it up for a second. Renij was the one who had always pushed him up, the one who had wanted him to get stronger without any conditions. Renji was more of a man that Kira ever would be. He was a god among rats. He was the only heart in the world of heartlessness. Abarai Renji completed him.

"What are you going to do?" Renji asked as Kira started to walk away. "Leave the game when it gets too rough? That's why you never get anything you want. You always run away when you only have a few more steps to go because something insignificant happened. Stop running; accept what you have right in front of you…"

"Accept it?" Kira asked. "Don't you see, Abarai-kun? I want to run away," he looked over his shoulder. "Running away is something I should have done a long time ago…" he turned around and started to walk away again. "Goodbye Abarai Renji-fukutaichou…"

Renji took a step forward. "You retard!" he yelled after him. "Don't you see that I'm still here for you? I'm still here and I'm not fucking leaving! You asshole! I still care about you! I'm still here, Goddamn it! I'm still fucking here! Kira!"

Kira walked away as he continued to hear Renji scream at him, cursing him for thinking that no one cared when there still was one left. Kira choked on a sob as he heard Renji yell after him. He did care about him, he was the only one. At that moment Kira knew that Renji was right. He did always run away from what he wanted. He wanted to be the one who saved Renji. He wanted to be a god.

Next chapter, Kira meets a ghost of his past and makes a final decision about rank.