Showdown Chapter 25
"Santana? Breakfast is ready are you coming down?" Mrs. Pierce asks through the bathroom door. She turns to face her daughter "how long has she been in there?"
"About 20 minutes," Brittany responds "I make her talk to me every couple minutes, so I know she is okay."
Santana opens the door with her hand over her mouth, "I'm not hungry, thanks though," she says walking back over to the bed lying down.
"Is your stomach still upset?" Susan Pierce questions.
The brunette nods her head "I feel like I could throw up but nothing comes out."
Mrs. Pierce sits down next to her "you should try and eat sweetie, I can make you some toast." Santana nods, "I'll have Brittany bring it up to you."
As Mrs. Pierce cleans up from breakfast she can hear a soft knock on the back door. She smiles motioning for Maria to come in. "Good morning would you like some coffee?"
"Good morning Susan, do I look that bad?" Maria jokes. "Would love some thanks, didn't get much sleep last night. How is she?"
Susan places a cup of coffee in front of her before sitting down "she didn't sleep much either. She was up most of the night sick. I did get her to eat some toast this morning. She is up lying with Brittany, still pretty nauseous."
"Hello Maria," Mr. Pierce calls out walking into the kitchen. He places a hand on her shoulder, "I'm sorry for everything you are going through. I couldn't even imagine what I would do if the shoes were reversed."
"Thank you Steven. I just wish I could help her more. I wish she trusted me like she does you two" Maria responds.
"She will again soon, but if it's any consolation Brittany is taking good care of her" Mr. Pierce says smiling.
Maria stands "do you mind if I go and see her?"
"Not at all. Maria you do not have to ask, she is your daughter," Susan answers. "I'll walk up with you."
The two women open the door quietly as Brittany is sitting with Santana's head in her lap stroking her hair. She smiles at them placing a finger over her lips "she just fell asleep."
Mrs. Lopez walks over to the bed placing a kiss on her daughter's head before kissing the blonde's as well. "Thank you Brittany for taking care of her."
"You don't have to thank me. I love her and when we are married it will be my job anyways" Brittany says sincerely. "I just want her to feel better."
"Me too sweetheart, me too" Maria replies sitting down rubbing Santana's back. "Brittany you know that her Dad and I love her, we made a mistake."
"I know you do. I mean how can anyone not love San?" Brittany says with a big grin as she looks down at her sleeping girlfriend. "She's perfect."
Maria laughs "you're right, she is pretty amazing and so are you. Some day when you get married I will be happy to have you as my daughter-in-law."
Mrs. Lopez stands walking towards the door "Mom, I love you too" Santana mumbles.
She smiles at her daughter "feel better, I will come back later." Maria barely closes the door before the tears start falling.
"She knows you love her" Susan speaks softly embracing the woman.
Maria quickly wipes her tears "I want my daughter back. I want her to be happy and healthy and just be a kid."
"San, I thought you were sleeping" Brittany says running her fingers through the brunette's hair. "You need to rest."
"Britt, can we go for a walk?" Santana asks quietly.
Brittany removes her hand as Santana sits up "um….I guess. If you feel like it. Are you going to break up with me?"
Santana's creases her eyebrows "why would you think that?"
"Every time you want to go for a walk, it's usually to tell me something important and this time I'm afraid you're going to try and push me away" Brittany responds honestly.
Santana reaches up touching Brittany's cheek "no, I don't want to lose you, ever. I just want to get some fresh air."
Brittany and Santana let Mrs. Pierce know they were leaving and after 20 questions about where they were going, how long they would be gone and did they have their phones, they finally made it outside.
Santana walked with her hands in her pockets looking down at the sidewalk while Brittany watched how sad her girlfriend looked. "San?" the blonde reached over linking her arm through Santana's "talk to me, let me help."
"Britt, I wish I could. I don't really know how I feel. I'm sad but I'm pissed off. I want to cry, I want to scream and throw things, hit someone…I don't know. I just want people to leave me alone" Santana replies hanging her head.
"Does that include me? Do you want me to leave you alone?" Brittany questions with hurt in her voice. "You said you wouldn't push me away."
Santana stops walking hearing the blonde sniffle "Britt, baby don't cry. I'm not pushing you away. I didn't mean you. You are the only person I need. I need you Britt Britt. I'm just so messed up and these stupid pills are not helping."
"What pills?" Brittany asks with concern.
"I didn't want to tell you because I didn't want you to get your hopes up. My therapist gave me pills that were supposed to help me not feel sad all the time" Santana responds as she sees Brittany start to smile. "Britt don't…"
"Don't what San?" Brittany says with a big grin.
"Baby listen to me, it hasn't helped. Don't get excited. And besides now it probably won't" Santana replies.
"Why won't it? You don't know, it might" Brittany says hopefully. Santana starts walking again as the blonde runs to catch up "I'm so proud of you Santana."
The brunette turns around gritting her teeth "why would you be proud of me? Look at me. I'm…I'm….nothing."
Brittany grabs Santana's hand dragging her to a nearby bench "sit!" Santana furrows her eyebrows, she has ever seen Brittany this angry.
"Brittany please…I'm sorry…" Santana starts to say.
"No! Santana you're going to listen to me. You need to stop thinking that way. Whether you want to believe it or not, you are incredible. I wish you could see the person I see every day. I know a lot has happened and you are hurt and confused. You are allowed Santana. You are allowed to cry and throw things, but you are not allowed to put yourself down anymore. Do you hear me? I love you so much and this is killing me to watch you like this. I will not listen to anyone put down the person I love." Santana doesn't speak. She covers her face with her hands as she starts to cry. "San, I'm so sorry I didn't mean to yell at you" Brittany says rushing over to sit next to her.
"Brittany I never meant to hurt you" Santana sobs.
"What? No San, you didn't hurt me. It just makes me sad to see you like this. I want you to see how awesome you are. I want everyone to see you how I see you. And I want mean people to just leave you alone. I want you to be happy" Brittany states wrapping her arms around her girlfriend.
"Britt I want that too, I do. But I'm scared. I don't know who I can trust anymore. I don't feel safe" Santana responds leaning her head on the blonde's shoulder.
Brittany kisses her head "I get that baby. I know you have been lost ever since your parents threw you out. I mean they are supposed to love you no matter what and now you feel like you can't trust them. You know you can trust me right? I love you San. And you can trust my family, Quinn and Ms. Corcoran. We all want what's best for you."
"I know" Santana says under her breath.
"It's okay to be scared especially after what you went through. I would have given anything to have stopped him from hurting you. You should have let him take me" Brittany replies sincerely.
"What?" Santana yells lifting her head "No! I would have killed him if he touched you!"
"You don't think I feel the same way. I tried to get to you, but they were too strong. San, I want to protect you just as much as you want to protect me" the blonde states.
Santana takes her girlfriend's hand "I know, but I am already a mess Britt. Besides I just tried to block him out. I tried to think of you and how beautiful you are and how lucky I am to have you. Honestly, I don't remember much. I remember him ripping my shirt and unzipping my jeans. I tried to make it harder for him to do it but it hurt so I stopped fighting. Then I just thought about you and the next thing I heard was Puck. Britt I know this sounds awful but I think I will be okay with what happened."
Brittany wipes a few stray tears turning angrily towards Santana "okay? Like you wanted to have sex with him?"
Santana quickly shakes her head "No, no baby I only want to be with you. But it felt like all the other times I was with a guy, not that they forced it, but that I didn't feel anything. Not like when I am with you. I know that sounds terrible but I am just being honest."
"He raped you" Brittany says stunned. Santana turns her head before the first tear falls. "San? San are you okay?" Santana shakes her head as the tears start flowing down her face again. Brittany reaches over pulling her girlfriend into her as she holds her. "It's okay" the blonde whispers over and over.
"I don't want to think about it anymore. I was so scared, scared you were going to leave me" Santana sobs.
"I am not going to leave you Santana. I know it was scary and he will get what he deserves, but you didn't do anything wrong, okay? So please calm down, we are fine" Brittany answers sympathetically. Santana quickly stands pushing Brittany off of her as she runs to the trash can throwing up the little food she had in her stomach. The blonde races over to her pulling her hair back as she rubs her back. "Baby, let's go home. You should rest."
Brittany walks through the front door supporting Santana. "Brittany? Santana? What's wrong? What happened?" Mrs. Pierce asks frantically noticing both the girls had been crying and her daughter basically carrying Santana. Mrs. Pierce and Ms. Corcoran quickly walk over stopping them from going up the stairs.
"Mom, we are fine. San got upset and starting throwing up again" Brittany answers trying to move around her mother to go up the stairs. "Um…hi Ms. Corcoran, sorry, just want to get her upstairs."
Santana smiles slightly at her teacher surprised she would have come to check on her. "Brittany can I help you get her up the stairs?" Shelby asks.
"No, it's fine. I am just going to go get her in bed and then I will come back down" Brittany speaks helping her girlfriend up the flight of stairs. She gets Santana settled back in her bed, sitting with her until she falls asleep. She kisses her head before walking back down.
"Hi again, sorry about that. I didn't want to leave her till she fell asleep" Brittany says walking into the living room.
"Brittany what happened?" Her mother questions. "You both were upset."
The blonde sits down on the couch "we just talked. She told me she is scared and confused about who to trust. Then she told me about last night."
"She talked to you about it?" Susan Pierce asks surprised.
"Yes, she tried. She said she just tried to think of me" Brittany says lowering her head.
"Brittany, what aren't you telling us?" Ms. Corcoran questions, seeing how the blonde is trying not to look at either of the women.
She slowly raises her head "she is acting like it didn't matter. She said she thought she was okay with it, because it was just sex.
"Brittany it doesn't matter she told him no, didn't she?" Mrs. Pierce inquires.
"Yes Mom, she told him no!" Brittany shouts getting angry. "She tried to fight and he hurt her, so she stopped fighting. She said she just laid there and thought of me" the blonde states as tears fall from her eyes.
"If she told him no, he raped her, whether she fought or not" Shelby adds.
"I know and I told her that but she got upset and then got sick. She didn't want to talk about it" Brittany replies wiping a few tears.
"Do you mind if I talk to her? I think she trusts me" Shelby asks the blonde.
"She does" Brittany cries.
"It's going to be okay. She will work through all of this, she's strong" Ms. Corcoran says trying to reassure her. "We will make sure of it."
"I think she is tired of fighting" Brittany responds.
"Then we will fight for her" Mr. Pierce states standing in the doorway overhearing the women.