Thank you, as ever for every reviewer - you inspire me! To Mich, thank you for your critical feedback :) much appreciated. Things will start to build back up for Marina soon!

CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

It had been weekends spent searching for second hand furniture in the back streets of Rio and painting the apartment for Clara's move in. Finally finished, the space felt cozy with eclectic pieces of furniture - a book shelf made of a dark, warm wood, a couple of brass lamps, a hall table that was positioned by the door with a glazed, hand-made bowl for the keys. The coffee table and the dining table set were, in fact, Marina's hauled out of storage, Marina claiming it was doing her a favour because it saved on storage fees. She'd also thrust all her crockery, cutlery and cookware on Clara– after all she couldn't cook and they would go to waste until such time as she could afford a cook again.

Earlier in the evening Marina had arrived with a large package wrapped in brown paper and a large bow tied around it and presented it to Clara.

"A house warming gift." she said.

Upon unwrapping it Clara recognised the frame immediately – it was one she'd looked three weekends ago when they'd been on the hunt for a mirror to hang above the entrance table. Made of a solid, heavy wood, the joins were embossed with curling leaves and painted in a distressed green which fit perfect with the apartment's colour theme of blues and greens. She'd hesitated buying it because firstly she didn't have anything to put in the frame and secondly, it was a bit of luxury given her tight budget. She'd reluctantly left it, telling herself that she could come back for it another time. But what really blew her away was the picture inside the frame. It was from the photo shoot she'd done with Marina for the exhibition all those months ago, of her sitting on that moss covered rock, wrapped up in her dressing gown. Her face was tilted up to the sky, eyes closed, caught in a meditative stillness, the hint of a smile on her lips. In black and white, with the light slanting through the leaves of the forest behind her, the photos seemed to hold its breath in anticipation. She remembered the exact moment that photo had been taken, how she'd felt such a sense of gratitude, how moments later she'd kissed Marina for the first time and how everything in her life had changed.

"Oh, Marina..." Clara said, surprised by how affected she was at the gift, "it's magnificent."

Marina grinned and clasped her hands to her heart.

"I'm so glad you like."

"I love. I absolutely love it. I'll put it right here, where I can always see it." she said moving to the wall and holding it up.

Marina now lay sprawled on the three seater sofa they had found shrouded in plastic at the back a dusty store and snagged for a bargain. She'd looked so pleased with herself when she'd spotted it. Against the freshly painted walls that replaced the 90's pastel blue and yellow of Mrs Rodriguez's old living room, you would never suspect it was pre-loved. Clara's family had all pitched in with the re-painting much to Ivan's delight who had spent more time zooming from room to room to check on everyone than doing any actual work. Even Chica had turned up with a picnic baskets of food for them and they'd all camped out in the middle of the living room eating her moqueca stew. To Marina she'd been solicitous to the point of awkwardness but Clara saw she was trying. Marina merely smiled graciously and complimented her on her cooking skills.

Clara was currently in the kitchen making Ivan's favourite dish, one of the few she knew how to make well – fresh pasta and chicken breast in a tomato sauce with fresh basil leaves. She looked to the wall clock as she tasted it before adding some extra pepper. She drained the pasta, adding a drizzle of olive oil and placing it on the table before moving to Marina's sleeping figure. She crouched down smoothing away a few strands of hair that had fallen across her lover's face. Marina was exhausted. Clara suspected she'd never had to work so hard before in her life. Between her classes of the cultural shed, trying to make sense of budgets, the accounts, strategising how to approaching potential clients and helping Clara with her move, she hadn't had a moment to rest.

At Clara's touch she stirred and opened a sleepy eye and smiled, pulling Clara onto her.

"Cuddles." she demanded and they settled comfortably against each other. This was one of Clara's favourite things, just lying together, arms and legs tangled, hearing Marina's heartbeat in her ear. After a stressful day, be it with Claudio making his demands or sharp words exchanged between herself and Cadu, this was her sanctuary where she could let it melt off of her and seep into the ground. She felt her body soften and her breath slow, the silence warm around them. She relaxed, drifted, the vague notion that the pasta would be getting cold on the table playing on the edges of her mind. A knock at the door roused them.

"That'll be Ivan." Clara said. She opened the door to find Cadu standing next to an impatient Ivan who darted in, his backpack in hand.

"Hey Marina!" he said, running to her and giving a kiss. "I can't wait to see my new bedroom!"

Cadu's face had become predictably sombre when he spotted Marina in the living room collecting the papers she'd strewn across the coffee table in an effort to figure out how to reconcile petty cash.

"What's she doing here?" he asked Clara quietly

"She's having dinner with us." Clara said.

Cadu shifted from one foot to the other.

"She's not staying the night, if that's what you're worried about."

"Good."

"Hey, Ivan, why don't we go and see what your mum and I did with your room today?" Clara heard Marina say behind her. She threw her a grateful look.

"Awesome!" Iva said and skipped towards the corridor. Clara stepped through the door, closing it behind her.

"What the hell do you think your doing, Cadu? That was so rude and disrespectful to Marina, quite besides the fact that we agreed not to do things like that in front of Ivan. It's been hard enough on him already."

"Yes, yes, I know." he said irritably, "but when we agreed that Ivan could start sleeping over, I was very clear that Marina shouldn't be involved."

"Cadu, Marina is a part of my life whether you like it or not. I'm being very careful and it's only normal I should have people over when Ivan is around."

"This is not what we agreed on."

"Correction, this is not what you demanded. I told you that Marina is here to stay and that I'd intergrate her carefully into our son's life."

"This is careful?"

"It is, Cadu. It's just dinner."

"Yeah and then next thing..."

"My God, Cadu, I can't be a slave to your inability to accept my situation! I'm putting Ivan first and you know it. Don't start accusing me of being underhanded."

She leaned against the corridor wall, suddenly feeling very tired. They couldn't seem to have a rational conversation any more. Everything was a confrontation, everything was difficult and she often came away unable to figure out how it had started. It wearied her.

"Ivan is going to be okay, Cadu. I don't want to keep fighting, this isn't us. This is not how we are..."

"This is not how we were."

There was something very final about the way he said it as though he was drawing a definitive line between the before and after of their relationship. She looked at him, his sad eye that were unable to comprehend her or her choice. Beneath the anger she sensed his helplessness, like a toddler who couldn't make a square block fit through a round hole but who kept trying again and again. She placed a hand on his forearm and rose on the balls of her feet to kiss his cheek.

"I'm sorry I hurt you, Cadu. Truly." she said . She then opened the door and slipped through to join Marina and her son, leaving him in the corridor outside her apartment.

Xxx

The day was almost done by the time Clara finally knocked on the Chica's door. With a new exhibit about to open, work was particularly busy and she'd had to stay late most nights that week. She was looking forward to the weekend where there was nothing much to do, no apartment to paint or shops to visit and nothing more pressing than taking Ivan for a bike ride followed by a Saturday night in with Marina, such a luxury after months of hotel rooms just so they could get some privacy. All might be forgiven after their disagreement but she wanted to make it a special evening for Marina, to show her how much she meant to her, that she might not always be able to put her first when it came to her son, but that she was cherished. She would get her some red roses and light some candles. She would cook her her favourite dinner and then give her a relaxing oil massage because she carried her tension in her neck and shoulders and she'd been complaining about headaches lately.

Chica opened the door and they embraced.

"What a day! I hope Ivan's been good."

"Oh he's been a gem." Chica said as Clara entered the room. "He's doing his homework in my bedroom."

"Marina!?"

Seated on Chica's sofa was Marina, a cup of coffee in hand and an album on her knee. She waved.

"You're mum was showing me photos of you as a child."

Clara looked to her mum, surprised.

"Well, partners generally like that sort of thing, don't they?" Chica said vaguely, not quite comfortably.

A smile spread across Clara's face. She grabbed Chica in a tight hug and kissed her cheek repeatedly.

"Stop it, Clara!" Chica cried in embarrassment, pulling away and clearing her throat. "Now then, a drink before you go?"

"A coffee would be great."

Chica dissipated through the kitchen door and Clara moved to sit beside Marina giving her a kiss.

"I can't believe -"

"I know!" Marina whispered, " When I came to drop Ivan off she insisted I stay..."

"Really?"

"She kind of accosted me and started asking me all these questions about me and my family and my work...and then she shoved this album in my hand and started showing me every family photo that's ever been taken. She even asked if I could take a family portrait for her..."

"Really!?

"It was actually a bit intense. She said I should definitely be at the next family dinner.."

Clara grinned and kissed Marina again.

"I'm the luckiest woman on earth." she said

"I'm trying to be on my best behaviour. It's kinda nerve wracking. I'm almost waiting for her to have that conversation of 'what are your intentions with my daughter', you know? I'm kinda glad you're here now."

Clara laughed. Her mother had actually done that to her first few boyfriends which had scared a one or two off because Chica could get quite scary when she wanted to. Clara had threatened to sneak out instead of bringing them home if she didn't stop which had thankfully worked.

"I'll protect you." she said with a wink as her mother came back in, a steaming mug of coffee in her hand and determined look on her face.

xxx

The following Monday morning Clara was dressed in her work pant suit, Ivan in tow. They were just popping in to the old apartment to get Ivan's sweater before school. She slid her key into the lock and Ivan shot through the door toward his bedroom. She moved to the corridor to call out to Cadu when she almost collided with Veronica, her hair tussled and dressed in one of Cadu's shirts that fell mid thigh, revealing smooth, toned legs.

"I'm sorry!" Clara cried, her heart pounding from the shock. " I didn't realise Cadu had company..."

"Oh, non, that's fine... I shouldn't be..." she signalled vaguely to her attire. "I'm just getting water..."

Clara could see Veronica trying to read her reaction at discovering her there, trying to decipher if Clara felt betrayed at finding a work colleague, someone who had been a confidant during Cadu's recovering, who'd sat with her drinking coffee and sharing things. Clara gave nothing away.

"What's happening?"

Cadu appeared in his boxers.

"I didn't realise you had company." Clara said.

"What are you doing here?"

"Ivan forgot his jumper for school."

"Well, lovely to see you, Clara... I'm just going to go change..." Veronica said making a hasty retreat.

"Of course." Clara replied and then it was just her and Cadu. She looked at him.

"So you and Veronica, huh?"

She wasn't all together surprised, she could see how Cadu and Veronica could have a thing but she had to admit that it did something to her, seeing him with someone else. There was a twinge.

"Yeah."

Ivan emerged then, his sweater in hand.

"Did I just hear Veronica's voice, dad, is she here?"

"Yes, she is, son."

"Cool! Can I go show her the drawing I was doing when she was here the other day?"

"She's just getting changed, maybe another time."

"Okay." he said reluctantly.

"We have to get going anyway." Clara said. "Do you mind waiting for me downstairs? I just have to quickly discuss something with your dad."

"Are you going to fight again?" Ivan asked putting his hands on his hips.

"No, we're going to discuss something."

"You're going to fight, I can tell." Ivan sighed and let himself out the front door. As the door clicked shut Clara turned around.

"So it's okay for our son to be exposed to your lover, but not mine?"

"It's not the same thing."

"Oh? How so?"

"Well, Marina is a woman."

"So is Veronica."

"But you're a woman."

"Oh grow up, Cadu! Ivan probably wouldn't have an issue with it and if he does it'll be because of your bigoted views. I can't believe you have the audacity to tell me how to handle our son with regards to Marina and yet you happily parade your girlfriend in front of him."

"She's not my girlfriend -"

"She's not even your girlfriend?" Clara asked incredulously and threw up her arms "really? Well, that just takes the cake! You're introducing our son to a woman with whom it's not even remotely serious! I can't believe how fucking chauvinist you are!"

She felt the anger from all the confrontations they'd had, all the times she'd swallowed her tongue, pushed down her emotions, telling herself she was being irrational, that she was over reacting well up inside her. She'd done her best to be understanding, to see it from Cadu's perspective because she knew he was hurting and she understood how wounded his pride must be. She'd put up with him telling her to be careful about bringing Marina into Ivan's life but this was blatant prejudice.

"Keep your voice down, Clara." Cadu said looking to the bedroom where Veronica could surely hear them.

"You know what?" she seethed, ignoring him, " I'm done. I'm done putting you before Marina. I'm done tiptoeing around you because I'm afraid you'll drag Ivan into a custody battle. Fight for custody, if that's what you really want to do. I'll fight back, Cadu and, God help me, I will get sole custody myself. But know that Ivan will suffer and that will be on your conscience."

"You've been putting me before Marina? Oh that's rich, Clara. You've put her and your relationship with her before me and Ivan from the moment you met her."

"Cadu, believe me, I didn't -"

"Oh really ? Didn't you start working for her when I really needed you at the cafe? Didn't you drop everything when she needed you for that photo shoot?"

"Didn't I drop everything to be there for you and Ivan when you were sick? I haven't put Marina and our relationship first because believe me, if I had, I would have left you long before I did, Cadu." she retorted, "and when I finally did it was because for once I was putting myself and my happiness first. Me. Not Marina, although she bloody well deserves it and you know what? She has never asked me to because she understands. She is kind and patient and we're partners, Cadu, equals. I've realised I never had that, could never have that with you because all you want is an obedient, subservient wife who stays home and takes care of things. I'm not that Clara anymore."

"I agree. The Clara I married would never be this selfish."

There is so much venom in his voice, it was like acid burning her sensitive flesh, rousing the anger in the pit of her stomach into a blaze, making her want to lash out all her frustration and disappointment at on him, making her want to slap his face and make it sting the way his barbed words had stung her.

"Oh fuck you, Cadu, honestly, you clearly don't want to hear me, so why bother? Go ahead, have a great time with your 'not girlfriend' and I'm going to do what I want without you telling me how to be. Not anymore." she said and then she turned on her heels, slamming the door behind her.