Azusa finally let her catch her breath against a dark tree. "Let me carry you… We're still pretty far…"

Yui shook her head. Her hands gripped the bark hard enough for the rough surface to sting. The dark forest outside of the Sakamaki mansion surrounded her like black bars, and she wanted to keep running from this cage—but she couldn't breathe.

Azusa shifted his weight. "What were you... doing with Kanato-san?"

"Trying not to die." Yui couldn't gulp down air fast enough, and her throat was so tight—!

"...Yui-san?" Azusa's voice was quiet, but it hit her like a brick. Yui felt like she hadn't heard his low voice say her name in years. He stepped closer, tilting his head to peer at her in that hauntingly familiar way. "Are you...going to cry?"

Oh no… please don't ask that...

"I thought," she swallowed, and her voice was small and squeaky, "I thought you weren't going to come get me!"

Azusa's pale eyes drifted nervously, and he confessed, "Ruki… said we shouldn't."

"Why?" Yui sank down, into the grass and roots, back against the hard bark now. Her breath kept coming in harsh drags in and short puffs out.

"I don't know. Maybe… because we're not worthy…? I... we..." Azusa's expression crumbled. "Ruki got hurt, so... our family needs to be together…"

Yui shuddered. "You came for me because of Ruki?"

"No, that's… an excuse…" His expression contorted with anxiety as he whispered, "I wanted to see you."

The quiet admission left her gasping. Even if she couldn't give him the pain he craved... even if she wasn't useful to their plan… even if she wasn't trustworthy in anyone else's eyes… Azusa wanted to see her.

Azusa's voice came out strangled as he continued, "Did you… not want to come back? Were you happy there?"

"No."

Azusa fell to his knees with a thump.

Her eyes burned hot. "No, I wasn't happy."

Azusa leaned in and pressed cool hands against her hot, hot face.

Her vision blurred. "I wanted you to come get me…" Her words came out in an ugly, pained whine, and for once she didn't care. She felt the tremor of sobs in her shoulders before they poured from her lips.

"Yui-san!" He pulled her into his arms.

She gripped his uniform. "I thought… I thought you wouldn't come!" She hiccupped and sobbed. Fat, hot tears rolled down her cheeks. "I thought… no one cared about me anymore..."

Her father wasn't coming to rescue her.

Ayato only came for her because he wanted to own her.

Yui wanted to rescue herself! She wanted to be free and live on her own terms... But the truth was… it was painful to be alone. It was so, so painful to fight for herself when she was all alone, and it was hard to care about herself when no one else did. If she broke down, it wouldn't matter at all.

The heroines in her books sometimes made it look easy… but it was not easy to be strong and brave and know you can't trust anyone at all. To know that no one loves you.

"I wanted to come for you… I wanted to..." He murmured, stroking her hair. "I had to..." Azusa's hand felt soothing and cool against her hot, miserable tears. "I missed you…"

Yui believed him, and somehow this made her cry harder.

Ever since she'd come to the Sakamaki manor, Yui had to keep herself together. She tried to run, she tried to say no, she tried to avoid setting them off… but even when she cried out in pain, she shed no tears for vampires who would enjoy it. Of the brothers, only Laito successfully forced her to tears with the truth about her father.

Her eyes would burn and water, her throat would tighten—but Yui chose to focus on the deeper meaning behind her suffering, so her situation wouldn't break her.

Even when Ruki locked her away, Yui didn't cry.

Even when she was terrified for her life, Yui didn't cry.

Even when she plunged a knife into her own heart, Yui didn't cry.

Curled up in Azusa's arms, Yui was safe… and she wept.

"I understand you now… I know, I know, how you felt…" He murmured. "You thought… you were unwanted…"

She wiped her face on her sleeves, sticky and hot. Her head was beginning to ache.

More quietly, he added, "That's...how I, too..."

Yui lifted her head to meet a piercing pale gaze.

He whispered, "I didn't realize it... I thought… I needed you more than you needed me. "

"That's not true!" She sobbed again. "I need you. I want you. But…"

And there was a 'but', wasn't there? There was one rift between them, one gaping chasm that Yui couldn't cross. As badly as she wanted to be with him, as much as it hurt that she couldn't give in—Yui couldn't compromise on that.

Azusa's eyes were bright in the dark woods, almost glowing. He looked lost.

"...But I don't want to hurt you."

"I know." His mouth trembled, too. "I don't understand… how that works, if you need me...?"

What else could anyone need him for, Azusa silently said.

Because Azusa couldn't see anything else that he was good for, anything else about himself that had any value, and that was so painful and so sad that she couldn't bear it.

Yui choked on invisible blood. Her heart ached like a hole had been gouged into her chest and part of her heart was pulled out of her; she was gutted by Azusa's confusion, his utter conviction that he had no worth except as a punching bag.

What happens when a blood bag loves a punching bag? Can they reconcile their different natures?

Yui ought to be used to it—being confused by vampires, and being misunderstood and misinterpreted in return… these tragedies were part of her daily life now, weren't they?

But Azusa was different. He wanted to understand… but he couldn't, because the rules he lived by would never let him see her side, not all the way.

Yui didn't know how to explain her anguish, and she sobbed uselessly.

"I love you," she mumbled.

Azusa's eyes widened. "What?"

"I love you. It's because I love you. I don't want to hurt you because I love you," she wept.

"But… how? I haven't… I haven't done anything to earn you..."

"Azusa-kun, that's not how it works. Not for me."

"It isn't?"

Love wasn't about earning or deserving…

Love wasn't even about books or tea or remembering all the things she liked...

Yui loved Azusa for who he was: a little strange, a little hurt, but gentle and compassionate, fragile and innocent and impossibly, unusually kind. This tender, sweet, tragic person couldn't see himself, but Yui could, and she loved him so much.

She tried to tell him that. She tried to say, her voice breaking a little, "I know why you don't see what's good about you, but to me, you're...you mean the world."

Azusa didn't say anything.

"You're so important to me, I mean it," she wasn't sure why she was repeating this, what she wanted him to say—it wasn't "I love you" back, it was something else—

"I believe you," Azusa said quietly.

Someone pushed part of her heart back into her chest, and Yui gasped as it revived, beating fast.

He looked away, eyes locked on some point above her shoulder. "You're right, um, I don't really see, or understand why... but I believe you. I know… you're not lying…"

Azusa couldn't change his worldview in a day, but if he could accept the existence of hers… that would be enough for now. Satisfied at last, Yui dissolved under a last wave of tears and shaking sobs.

Azusa held her through it all.

...

...Clarity returned with a pounding headache. They needed to keep running. If the Sakamakis came after them and tore them apart… Yui shivered. But she didn't want to move yet. She felt drained from the emotional turmoil.

"Yui-san... You are… the strangest person I've ever met."

The tension broke inside her, and Yui laughed.

Azusa smiled at her. "Ah, your smile… it is the best. I've made you so sad until now, so… I'm glad." He held her tight. "As long as you say, I'm the one you want… I'll never… let go again, okay?"

"I believe you, too," Yui whispered, and closed her eyes.