AN: Where's my coffee...oh right... Good morning!

Chapter 25

Baseball Boy was on top of the giant's shoulders and waving an iPod with portable speakers in the air. He was wearing a tux.

My mouth dropped open. The song playing was, Karma Chameleon by Culture Club.

Tiny Dancer jumped out of the grandma mobile. "Edward, it's the wrong song!"

"Oh no, Alice! Wait a minute..." The kid fumbled with the iPod. Like a Virgin blared. I was going to die or kill the kid. I hadn't decided. "That's not right!"

"It's fitting," stated the giant. He snorted.

"Which one?" Kid was jabbing buttons. Billy Idol's White Wedding. Chief Charlie fell onto the floor laughing hysterically.

Giant started shaking with his odd giggles and made the kid hold on to that thick neck for dear life. "Planning on marrying the little one, Ed?"

"Not yet!" He was messing with the speakers. "Stay still, Emmett!"

Not yet?

"In Your Eyes, Edward! Say Anything, remember? We watched it before we came over here!" Tiny Dancer shrieked and started pulling her crazy hair.

Cherry Pie from Warrant. Chief Charlie was hyperventilating and trying to go out the door.

"Don't you dare go out there, old man." I threatened.

He pulled me towards the door, as I attempted to dig in my heels. "Let's put Lover Boy out of his misery."

"Do you want Bella wiggling on top of your car, Ed?" Giant was swaying again from his laughter.

"Turn it off!" Tiny Dancer screamed.

We stood on the porch and I was in shock.

Old Mrs. Cope came out onto her lawn. "Charles, should I call the police?"

"Myrtle, I'm the police!" My father yelled. Myrtle was as deaf as a post.

"Huh?"

"I'm the police!"

"Huh?" She started to mess with her hearing aid.

"I'm the police!"

Her wizened face glared at my father. "There's no need to yell, boy! I'm not deaf!"

"Wait...wait...I have the perfect song," Edward stated. Belinda Carlisle started chortling her ballad, Mad About You. Why me?

"You're such a damn woman!" The giant was cracking up so hard, that like the mighty redwood, he crashed onto the ground with the kid on top of him. At least, the kid had a massive human body pillow to soften his fall.

The giant groaned.

Tiny Dancer was fretting.

Baseball Boy reached out to me. "Bella."

I had a WWMRD moment. What Would Molly Ringwald Do, really should be in every girl's arsenal when dealing with this kind of teen movie fuckery.

I went over to him and pulled him up.

"Are you crazy?" I asked, wiping off his tux.

He put his arms around me. "Didn't you hear the song? I'm mad about you."

"You're so cheesy."

"I'm so sorry. You make feel things I never have before and I'm trying to figure out how to keep you from dumping me." He moved in closer. "I adore you. Forgive me?"

"Yes, wait...are you going to kiss me?"

"Yes."

"No."

He placed his lips on mine. I guess it would be okay to kiss him. A little bit.

He moved away and before I could latch on again. The kid asked, "Date night still on?"

Oh bother.

"Oops. I'm grounded."

"No, my spawn isn't. She'll be so happy to go out with you." Chief Charlie's eyes actually twinkled. "She's even wearing a dress."

That man's punishments were truly cruel.

"I don't have any."

"I'll get you one," the Tiny Dancer exclaimed.

My retribution would be swift and brutal.

The kid kissed me again.

Retribution could wait.