Sorry for the late upload but I wanted to get two chapters done before I post them together. I didn't want to split up the chapter.

Thank you all for reading

The compound seemed to be filled with more life than the normal. Everyone was running around, doing something, holding weapons and I once again felt like I was missed something. How long would they keep me in the loop about things? I was soon to be one of the leaders and I knew nothing about what was happening, what people were doing, why were they doing it? I stormed toward Eric's table, who was sitting with Mike and Jack.

A week passed since Eric was living in my apartment, eating my food and complaining about how he was sick of sitting in one place. Now he looked like he wasn't shot at all. No one knew about that except Mike and the leaders. No one questioned where Eric went for a couple of days but no one was actually searching for him or stalking him to see that he was missing.

With that our previous conversation about why he lied was hanging loose in the air. Of course in typical fashion, we didn't even speak about it. Hell, we haven't said a word to each other since then and now I was about to break that streak.

"You wanna tell me what is happening?" I said sharply looking at him. His head rose lazily, his silver eyes watching me as he was chewing his breakfast taking his sweet time answering me.

He swallowed and started talking "Just the person who I wanted to talk to. I want you tomorrow to train the initiates" It was an order, no questioning it, no chances of changing it.

"Where would Four be?" I asked my patience wearing thin.

"With me"

I took a deep breath before asking "And where would that be?"

Just from the look on his face, I figured out that I wouldn't like his answer. My gut was telling me that something major was happening around me and I was the only one left in the dark once again.

"We found a factionless base we'll go investigate. So we gathered teams."

"And I'm not in one of them?"

He shook his head "No, I want you to train the initiates" he said it so calmly and that was the last drop.

"What the hell, Eric!" I yelled and I knew I caught the attention of the people around us. "You know I can do better than most of the people here and yet I'm left out in the dark to train the stupid initiates instead of fighting alongside you!" I spat out. What angered me more was the fact that he showed no emotion. Of course, he was hiding behind his mask, his eyes lingering on my face reading right through my emotions. I wasn't hiding them, I wanted him to see how furious I was.

I didn't even know how bad I wanted to fight, to feel the adrenaline again, to shoot something or someone. To be in battle again, leading a group, thinking about the plan. I thought I would never miss it, but I did now and it was driving me insane. Eric leaving me in the dark and denying me to fight just made it worst.

"It's an order, Val. You'll be here tomorrow and train them" he said more firmly pushing his authority.

"But I can fight. Why won't you let me prove it?!"

"You proved yourself. We made the plans and we need you here"

I scoffed "For what? Training the initiates. You don't need someone like me to train them. For all, I know you can pick up some low-rank person and he'll still do the job. Hell, you can even let Mike train them" I yelled.

"Wow, sweetheart careful where you shoot the insults," Mike said raising his hands in surrender. In this moment I didn't even register the fact that I might have insulted him. I didn't care if I did, he could suck it up.

Eric looked like he was losing patience with me which was exactly what I wanted from him. He straightened up.

"Mike is fighting with us. Your staying"

"Unbelievable!"

"Enough!" he yelled, he stood up suddenly slamming his hands on the table in the process. Mike and Jack jumped from the sudden movement. I didn't flinch. I knew it was coming. He leaned toward me holding his body weight with his hands. His eyes were cold, piercing through me. I haven't seen him that angry for a long time and somehow that was so thrilling. There was the Eric I knew and everyone feared. "Are you questioning my authority? Because I ordered you like a thousand times Valeria."

"I. Don't. Give. A. Shit!" I spelled out for him.

"I order you to train the initiates tomorrow. " he implied on 'order' "And if you try to disobey me I'll have to pull some drastic measures" he was dead serious. I stood there with head held high clenching my jaw so tightly that my muscles started to hurt. I didn't like the fact that he was manhandling me. I hated the fact that I couldn't do anything because he was ordering me not to. I hated that I had to let him win this fight because we were in a dining area full of people who were watching and he was the one with the highest authority here.

I shook my head "It's not fair. You know I can't disobey an order" I said silently, signing my defeat. I couldn't win this with him and I hated the fact that I couldn't. I hate that I had to retrieve and give up.

"That's why is an order," he said with a sneer and all I wanted was to take that stupid sneer off from his face. For the first time in my life, I disliked the fact that I was taught to follow orders without question. Especially ordered like this. I clenched my hands into fists still watching Eric's eyes. He knew it was hard for me to give up and he was enjoying every second of it. I could see it on his face, the pleasure of ordering me and knowing I couldn't disobey, that I couldn't do anything.

"Now fuck off and let me eat my breakfast in peace" he waved me off with his hand. Dismissing me just like that. I clanged my jaw tightly. How dare he! He sat down calmly. I knew that every set of eyes were on me now, watching, waiting for my next move. They knew I couldn't do anything more than I did. I knew it. You can't cross Eric and just get away with it.

"I wish I would have left you to bleed out and watch you as you take your last breath" I spat out barely above a whisper because after all, it was a secret. "Nothing would have given me a bigger satisfaction than that"

His eyes landed on me once again. The anger was sustained and he even looked a little bit taken aback. Before the mask was in place. "Yeah, but you didn't and here I am alive, because of you" he mocked me.

I huffed at him and stormed out of the dining area. Too angry to watch where I was going. Red was clouding my vision as I made my way toward the training rooms. I started to punch my anger out on the bags until my hands were bleeding heavily and I couldn't take another breath from the pent-up anger and the weariness. I hate giving up it made me feel weak, out of power. That was why I liked being a leader, being on top. Because I held the power and no one could suppress it. But not here, not know and I was feeling like I might suffocate, explode from the frustration and no matter who much I hit the bag the frustration remained.

I kept punching the bags even when I started to leave blood spots all over them. Even when sweat covered my face. I yelled. I screamed and nothing did the trick.

"Hey, sweetheart come down" I heard a familiar voice behind me but I kept punching. Strong hands gripped my shoulders pulling me from the bag. I started trashing trying to escape the restraints. "Whoa…Val, come down" I kept trashing until the grip loosen and I turned around shoving Mike away from me. He stumbled a little bit before catching his footing.

"Get the fuck away from me or I swear I will kill you!" I spat at him. That did it. He froze on his spot, hands up in surrender, eyes wide. I stormed out searching the comfort of my home, where no one would dare to bother me.

I was watching the initiates throwing knives and I wanted to shoot myself. It felt like they were on their first day at throwing them. It felt like Four did a shitty job teaching them, no surprise there. I walked confidently behind them as they threw knife after knife.

Sometimes I could hear the thud of the blade hitting the target but not the center. Sometimes I could hear the clinking noise that the blade does when it hits the stone floor. I cringed every time I heard that and it was a lot.

"Pathetic" I murmured behind one of the girls. She looked like she was out of some fashion magazine, with her blonde hair. It wasn't the girl that asked a question on their first day. This girl was here with Finn. An Amity.

She flinched when she heard my voice behind her but continue to throw her knifes. The blade clinked on the floor making me cringe. "Get your elbow higher and sharp throw, you look like you're throwing a fetter and not a blade" She nodded and prepared herself to throw another blade with the tips I gave her. She threw the knife that landed on the target, stood there for a second before it fell. Less pathetic.

"Keep going" I encouraged her and I continue to walk behind the initiates. Everyone in the room could sense that I wasn't in a mood for their smart mouths today. That didn't stop two of the boys to open theirs and piss me off. Getting scolded by Eric loosen their respect for me and I didn't like it one bit. All of them, except those two boys, were averting their eyes at me, too scared to catch my eyes. They probably thought that I had balls talking like that to Eric.

"Hey kitten, how's my throwing" I heard a male's voice behind me making me stop. A few of the initiates stopped throwing their knives too. I turned around slowly, my eyes instantly catching the person whose voice belonged too. He was standing next to the boy with the brown hair and brown eyes –Derek? I never bothered learning their names. But that boy with messy sandy hair was grinning at me like he just told the greatest joke of all times.

"I dare you to say that again?" I said firmly but his grin was still holding strong. The other around him registered the problem he was the only one not even fazed by it.

"Kitten"

I sighed making a few quick steps to him. He was still smiling. Oh, how bad I wanted to erase that smile off of his face. I stopped in front of him my eyes cold. I didn't say a thing I was giving him a third chance.

"So…the girls were wondering how good is Eric in bed" and there it went the third chance.

I cracked up "Oh I know when someone is asking something like this. The person is always talking about themselves. Are you interested in Eric, is that why are you asking me?" his smile fell but mine grew. A couple of giggles came from behind me. "And your throwing is so pathetic that if this was life or death situation I would have left you for dead because you're just that useless" he wasn't that useless. He could fight good and he was one of the few that actually hit the target and make the knives stick. So far he was good on the board. But those facts didn't matter when his aim was so bad. Not just knives, guns too.

"Yeah" he began, his bravery coming back to him "Why don't you show us then"

I sighed again. I was getting frustrated and annoyed by him. I only wished that I was fighting now with the others, being where the action was. The compound was strangely silent and empty without the majority of the soldiers. I could be there but instead, I was here, having to endure this asshole that thought he was the one to give the shots here. He thought he had me there. He thought I would back out and he would win. But that wasn't happening. I closed my eyes taking a deep breath and exhaled, when I opened them just to be met with the stupid smug face of that boy and I lost my shit, so far with being calm.

"Everyone stop!" I yelled. The boy before me started to smile widely. He thought I was going to demonstrate. Ohh…I was going to demonstrate but with a twist. The sound of throwing knives stopped and everyone turned to look at me. They started to throw concern faces at each other instead but my attention was on the boy in front of me.

"Do you know that Eric is my mentor?" I asked casually.

He huffed "Everyone knows he's more than that. Am I right?" no one humored him. No one dared. It seemed like everyone except him knew the limit. Knew the unamused expression on my face leaded to something bad but not him.

I forced myself to laugh "Yeah, your funny. Now stand in front of the target and let me show you something that I learned from him"

"What?" he was still smiling but I could see the confusion rising up on his face.

"Yeah, you heard me. Go stand in front of the target" I ordered firmly, no traces of a smile on my face.

"But…but…"

"I hate stutters!" I sighed. "Do I need to repeat myself one more time? Go stand in front of the target!" I raised my voice. "Go!"

He started to walk uneasily toward the target, glancing back at me from time to time like he waited for me to laugh and tell him I was joking but my face remained serious and he understood that there was no way out of this. He pulled out the knifes that were already stuck on the target, the sound of the metal hitting the floor echoed through the silent room as he turned toward me, leaning against the target. His eyes were locked on mine determent to show me that he didn't fear me but his body language was telling me otherwise.

"Now you stay put when I throw the knifes at you, if I see you flinch you're out and factionless. Am I clear?" he slowly nodded his head in return his Adam apple bobbing.

"You should be happy that I'm good at this because if I threw the knifes like you do, you might end up with a few things less" as I said it I picked up my first knife, sliding a finger over the edge to check how sharp they were. I knew how sharp they were. I was just intimidating him more and I knew it was working. "You never know though, incidents do happen. There's always a chance of the knife slipping…"

He gulped but his eyes remained on me. I had to give him points for that. Even though he knew what was going to happen he was looking straight into my eyes. Trying not to show fear and I would almost believe him if I didn't know better.

"Last chance to give up" I mocked him but he only shook his head in denial. "I'm sorry what?"

"No!"

I shrugged, making the stances that I had done more than one time. The knife flew from my hand, spinning a few times before the blade landed on the left side of his neck. He gulped but I didn't pay attention to him. My eyes were on the next knife in my hands. This one was sharp too and I was wondering where to throw it.

"Come on, give up already. Tell me you're not meant to be here and walk away"

"No!" he almost yelled. Now I admired his bravery, only if it didn't show when it was provoked. The second knife left my hand landing on the top of his head. He didn't look up, his eyes cold glaring at me. If glares could kill I would be dead by now.

The third knife was just in my hands when the door to the training room burst open and a very panting man almost collapsed as he stumbled in. He was dressed in his combat clothes, his jet black hair was stuck on his forehead from the sweat that was dripping. I wasn't sure if he looked like that because he ran all the way here or this was something else.

"Val, we need you at the infirmary now!" he said almost out of breath. My heart went into my throat. My first thought that crossed my mind was him. Was he okay?

"What happened? " I threw the knife on the table my eyes frantically moving over the man before me, who fought to take a breath.

"Just come with me. I'll tell you on the way there"

My gaze moved toward the initiates who looked with wide eyes, bigger than they were for the past few minutes when I threw knives at one of them.

"Dismissed! Let that be a lesson for you all. I would love to that again!" I yelled and with quick steps, I approached the man who was already out the door and going with fast pace toward the infirmary. I caught up with him pretty fast.

"Talk what happened?"

He shook his head "I don't know, no one is really that badly hurt, just a few cuts here and there but they are all extremely feverish and nothing helps" I stopped dead on my feet watching him closely.

"Nothing helps?"

He shook his head again "Not the Erudite serum. We have a bunch of Erudite doctors here but they are powerless" we started walking again and my mind was racing, too many thoughts were running wild that it was hard for me to focus on particular one or register them all.

"Wait, how long they were here?"

"For a few minutes, we waited for the doctors but since they didn't know what to do and all of them are getting worst we called you"

"Eric?" his name slipped my lips before I could stop it. The look on his face said it all, that he was one of them and my heart started to beat faster pushing my legs to speed up.

The man burst through the infirmary doors like he did with the ones in the training room. Stepping into the room I was instantly met with chaos. The two rolls of beds on each side were filled. People with black clothing were rushing from bed to bed. In all of that sea of blackness, there were a couple of blue spots that were more calmly walking but tense never the less. People were moaning in pain, some was crying in the distance.

I felt like my legs were nailed to the threshold and I couldn't move a muscle. My heart was beating in my chest so fast that it might burst out. Chaos all around me and fear took over every inch of my body. I was once again on the battlefield. Once again standing in a hospital were people wanted help and I was the only one that could help. They were dying and I was the only one. Who was I to decide who lives and who doesn't?

Always, always so close to helping them before they die in front of my eyes. The similarities with my past were almost too scary and I couldn't even think of what to do next.

"Val?" I heard a faint voice. But my eyes were too busy lingering all around the room like it would give me all the answers or hope that the scenario would change and I wouldn't be in the middle of it.

"Where is he?" I asked pulling myself out of my trance, my fingers trailing the lines of the tattoo on my left hand. Fearless. Fearless. I had to remind myself. I had to give straighten myself and concur the fear. Those people needed me and I wasn't the one to give up without a fight.

I didn't need to specify the black haired man nodded and led me to the crowd. He was trying his best to maneuver between the bodies that it looked almost pathetic.

"Move!" I yelled at the people in front of me and that did it. The moment my voice echoed through the room, for a second it felt like every sound stopped before the people started to make space for me to pass. I felt like Moses as I divided the sea of black clothing.

For some reason, they thought to put Eric on a bed that was in the far end of the room, which made me more pissed than I was yelling at people to move their asses in order for me to get there.

When I finally reached him the sight in front of my eyes made me stop dead on my feet. Eric was laying on his back, shirtless which made me see the cuts on his stomach and one on his right collarbone. He was pale, but his face was covered in sweat drops, his blonde hair stuck to his forehead. His silver eyes were barely open as if he was half awake half asleep. I made a few uneasy steps toward him. My heart clenching in my chest from the sight of him. He was so weak, so out of it. His life was in my hands once again and I couldn't help but get back the things I had said to him yesterday morning.

The sadness quickly faded and it was replaced by anger. Anger that I wasn't there with him, to fight beside him. Maybe if I was there this wouldn't have happened. Maybe he would be okay and not feverishly dying on the bed. Instead, I was here, teaching the initiates how to throw knives like I didn't have a single care in this world. So many emotions ran through me as I watched his eyes shifting at me but he wasn't looking at me, it felt like he was looking through me and that made the lump on my throat, even more, heavier and bitter.

My fingers brushed the stuck blonde locks off his forehead. Before my eyes moved on the wound on his collarbone. It was just a scratch it didn't even bleed too much, how was it possible to make someone sick. My eyes went down toward the wound on his stomach which was pretty much the same as the first one, maybe longer but it was just a scratch.

"Do you know what is it?" a female voice pulled me out of my thoughts. Looking up I saw a blond woman dressed in blue her eyes were so bright blue that it might look silver. I squinted at her but I'd never seen her before.

I shook my head as I averted my attention back to the wound. So small, making such a big reaction. If the body reacts like this then there has to be something in it that it was not right.

"Is everyone like this?" I asked calmly but on the inside, I was fighting with my fear and the adrenalin rush that was threatening to escape. I didn't like this one bit and the fact that all of the people here needed my help wasn't helping my anxiety.

"Yes, but the serums don't work on neither of them. Most of them are scratched. It seemed that the scratched made them feverish but none of our serums could help them" the woman explained with a little bit of urgency in her voice. I leaned closer to the wound my eyes scanning the flesh around it. It felt so familiar and I only hoped it wasn't the thing I was thinking of. But when I saw the small blue spots around the wound all instincts kicked in. My head shot to Eric who was still watching me with a distance look.

"Hey, open your mouth for me" I spoke to him softly my hand cupping his cheek urging him to do so. But he just stood there watching me.

"Val?" he spoke, his voice rasp barely audible. I shook my head "Open your mouth come on" I squeezed his jaw because the panic was rising in me and my eyes were starting to burn. Please don't be this, please don't be this. I chanted as Eric finally obligated and opened his mouth. I guided him toward the light of the window and I saw the same small blue spots.

I took a deep breath, dropping my hands on the side of the bed. I had to give myself a mental pep talk because this was happening again and this time it wasn't just one person it was the whole room.

"Someone come here right now!" I yelled when I found my voice again. Fighting the urge to break down in tears and just cuddle next to him. Quick steps stopped behind me and my eyes met a girl in black with blue hair and a lot of piercings on her face.

"Listen to me very carefully" I started approaching her slowly my eyes never leaving hers. She stiffened under my gaze but didn't back down. "Take my key and go to my apartment. Get me a gray bag which is in my upstairs bedroom closet. Bring it to me as fast as humanly possible because if you don't I will kill you and my eyes won't even blink. Got me?" she nodded frantically as I pulled out the key out of my pocket. She took it and stood in front of me.

"Move!" I yelled and she ran toward the door. "You, get your ass here!" I pointed at a boy that stood near the next bed. He unsurely made a few steps toward me as if he was scared I might eat him but time was ticking and I didn't have time for bullshit.

"Go to the kitchen bring me a pot filled boiled water and a big bowl and fast because you would the next in line to die!" he nodded before he to rushed out the door. I sighed turning toward Eric. He was in a very bad shape and it pained me to look at him like this. I kept thinking that if I had gone with him this might be different. My hand started to play with the chain around my neck without even noticing.

"Val" a small voice pulled me out of my thoughts. Looking over my shoulder I saw Chris standing with bloodied clothes and tears in her eyes. I wasn't sure if my heart could handle more news. How was it even possible for factionless to cause such damage. How was it even possible for them to possess something like this.

"What is it. Are you hurt?" I scanned her but I wasn't sure if the blood on her clothes was her's or not. She shook her head tears slipping out her eyes. "It's Will, he's in a very bad shape" I nodded following her through the people as she led me toward him. I couldn't do much about it, he was the same as Eric, only much worst. If the two people didn't come soon with the things we might lose him. And for some reason, I felt so numb. Was it selfish to don't care about the others?

"I can't do anything until I have my things" I shrugged looking up at Christina who was sobbing above Will's sweaty head. How bad I wanted to break down and sob and wait for someone to help them instead of being the one to help them. I turned around going back to Eric. I was getting impatient. I hated to wait and the girl with the bag sure did take her time.

My eyes landed on the blond woman who was watching Eric carefully like she was scared he might slip up. If the girl doesn't show up soon he just might.

"What is the thing that causes them this?" she suddenly asked moving her gaze at me.

"Poison. A very, very old poison" I pressed my lips my hand once again starting to play nervously with the dog tag. The woman's familiar silver eyes landed on my right-hand tattoo. I bet she knows about me. She was Erudite after all. She opened her mouth as if to say something but the door to the infirmary burst open and the girl with my bag came rushing in followed by the boy with a bowl in his hands and the cook with the boiling pot in his.

"I need a table ASAP!" I started barking orders. I need to move fast and do it right if I wanted him to live and all of the people here. A table was pushed in front of me between the beds, the bowl, and the pot was on it and soon my bag was in my hands. "Everyone that it's not Dauntless nurses and doctors, get out!" I shouted at the room. People learned not to question me as they rushed toward the door but the woman beside Eric's bed stood still.

"You too!"

"But…" she started but a blonde haired man interrupted her pulling her by the arm.

"Come on, apparently we're not needed here, anymore" he threw me a firm look like I stole his candy.

"We're his parents can we stay?" the woman spoke again ignoring her husband. I vaguely registered the fact that she was Eric's mother and she was worried about him but I couldn't risk their curious eyes seeing what I mix.

"No, I'm sorry but you need to leave so I could mix the thing that could help him. The more you argue with me the less time he has and if he dies I swear I'll lose it and go on murdering spree. So get out!"

She didn't need more encouraged, letting her husband pull her out of the room. The moment when the door closed, the room fell more silent than before. a few people only stayed. I turned around starting to mix the ingredients.

My bandaged hands were shaking as I mixed the thing that I did just one time before and I hoped I would never do it again. But here I was, a hundred years later the same book open, same shaky hands and same herbs throwing into a mixture to create a cure for someone that I care about.

It took everything in me not to break down in tears in front of all these people. I feared that I would be close and he would die and everyone else in this room. I hated admitting my fear. Out of all of my fears, this one was the strongest and I hated it. I hated being weak.

The people around we were watching my hands carefully not like they could understand what was happening. I had to double check everything to make sure I didn't mess something. When everything was ready I started explaining how to apply the cream, who to give them the tea and everyone took something out of the table rushing toward the other beds to help the others.

Stuck in my own head I started to apply the cream on Eric's scratches, bandaging them up after it. Didn't even see when his mother was back beside his bed.

"Will he be okay?" she broke the silence finally. I nodded mechanically and leaned a glass filled with the tea towards Eric's dry lips while tilting his head with my other hand. His tired eyes locked on mine as I pushed the cup, he looked like he wanted to say something but I stopped him.

"Drink" I urged him he complied taking a big sip out of the cup. Placing the cup back on the table I sighed, dragging my hands through my face. I was tired. The adrenalin rush was finally quieting down and the tiredness took over.

"Hey!" I shouted at the girl with the blue hair. "Get him in a spare room" I ordered. But she stood there like I spoke to her in a different language.

"We…we.." she started to stutter, pissing me off more

"He's your leader for fuck sake, so get him in a separate room or your name will be the first thing he hears when he wakes up!"

"Sure, I'll see what I can do"

I forced a smiled while she rushed out of the room.

"Do you always get things with threats?" asked Eric's mother catching my attention.

"It gets things done quicker"

I could see the disapproval in her eyes but I was too tired to care right now. I started to pack the things back into my bag.

"The cream is applied every four hours, clean the wound, apply, bandage. Tea – when he wakes up, give him two or three sips. I wouldn't be gone for long." I explained before starting to leave, stopping just next to the woman.

"Don't even think about taking free samples from the mixtures or I swear his mother or not I'll find you and no one will understand how you died. You're an Erudite, you heard stories about me" I warned her. There was a slight sign of bravery in her eyes when she straightened her back and looked at Eric for a second before her silver eyes were on me. It was strange for an Erudite to express bravery, probably I triggered some motherly instinct.

"This's not my intention" she reassured me.

"Good"