A/N: deb: Hi! Thanks for leaving a concrit in your review, I appreciate it very much. I actually understand what you're trying to say - it's the major reason I've delayed posting Chapter 20. The jumps are confusing, yeah? I've tried to disentangle the mess of words a lot of times myself, even letting it cool more days than I typically allow it so I can heat it up again. It seems I have failed, though.

I'm sorry 20 was a headache, it was the best I could do that would go into my plan for the chapter, which was Sasuke rifling through his memories a bloody hell lot. There was no action in the chapter, it was all in his mind. I reckon I could have written in 'it in the moment' to make things easier, but... I somehow felt this was the better route. I'm embarrassed that not a few had been confused because of that choice, so I went back and attempted to smooth over some of the transitions.

(Now, I think, I should have broken 20 into 2 chapters instead. Hindsight, guh.)

I hope it would not deter you from finishing this story, though. Thank you. :)

Guest: Hey. I'd like to know your name sometime, so I'd know who to thank. Because I'm really thankful for your review. Reading it gave me a really wonderful feeling.

Everyone: This and the chapter after this is actually one chapter, broken into two to make the reading better. Um, please review to let me know what you think?

- August 22, 2012

The Sky

by Hic Iacet Mori

Chapter 21

"Why you lit—teme! That's a lucky fluke!"

His heart—

"Don't show me your duck-ass, teme! Face me like a man!"

—was pounding—

"Teme… Sever it just like that, huh?!"

—so damned fast—

"Come back, teme!"

—it hurt—

"Teme?" came that query, once more, in a voice so soft and kind he ached with so much anguish because he knew, with a certainty that crushed and blew him away, that that voice was not meant for him—

"Sasuke-teme!"

"Nightmare again?"

—never him yet he allowed himself to be pulled down by that cold comforting hand—why are you still cold—his shaking uncontrollable against infinite black—why are you doing this—eyes prickling against silver, against memories—you're holding me, not him—throat a vice of fury, of grief—you stole him from me a long time ago!—

"Shh… gon' be 'kay… yeah?"

—with that same hand brushing his hair back and tucking him under a chin with that same voice murmuring assurances and promising better dreams with that same silver revealing secrets and hiding truth from his eyes with Sasuke breaking—

"Dobe—"

—and Naruto dreaming—

With no sky to comfort him—

"In the beginning I was glad because I thought you were like me—"

He closed his eyes.

"I wanted to talk to you!"

Listened.

"But you—"

It was Naruto, speaking.

"—didn't speak."

Sasuke didn't want it to end.

But he jerked awake, heart racing, and his eyes darted around in frantic crimson and something was happening—

"I'll make—make everything better…!"

—and there was a tang, in the air, of copper—

"You'll... make everything... better?"

—burning, there was burning and he could taste it in his skin in his clothes in his lungs—

"I…"

—and Naruto was stirring—

"I promise."

—and Sasuke was falling—

"Why do you come—so far—"

—and it was night and the sky was a clear blue once again.

How many patterns of a leaf could there be?

"You prob'ly have monopoly on weird, huh?"

How many leaves in a tree could there be?

"Or own it, likely."

Why was there a tree in his dream in the first place?

"When someone asks me what weird is, I'd point at you."

Why was the tree familiar anyway?

"And laugh at your stupid hai—You mean you don't remember?"

Sasuke whipped to his right with a fierce glare.

A short distance from him, the blond child backed away with hands raised up in the air, waving with a placating smile, ruffling the mess of yellow hair with each shake of his head. "Okay, okay. Wrong question, Moody-chan. But seriously," and he inched nearer, on his knees, with a curious little smile, and Sasuke was reminded of a drawing in his old textbook, the always-smiling yellow Taiyou-tan, "you don't?"

But Taiyou-tan wasn't annoying with his stories and rhymes, just shining like so with a cheery little smile. Taiyou-tan didn't ask silly questions about trees and remembering. Taiyou-tan didn't ask if he didn't remember, with weird small smiles and eyes he couldn't see. Taiyou-tan didn't call him Moody-chan.

Sasuke felt his mouth curl in a pout—

"Of course not, dumdum, how do you remember a tree?"

—and started in surprise, eyes wide, hands flying over his mouth at the squeak in his high voice.

"… Oh."

But Taiyou-tan didn't look—

Sasuke felt a touch of guilt when he saw the shoulders slump down—"Okay"—getting stronger and stronger when the same shoulders shrugged in an attempt to make nothing of it. "Eh, it's all good, you were out of it anyway. Something more important happened that night, a stupid tree's not something you'd bother with. I would too," Naruto offered.

He gave a small smile, and Sasuke didn't think he deserved it just then.

"It's all good, honest. 'Kay?"

And Sasuke felt small, so utterly small, and he couldn't accept the offer and so just asked, with a small voice, a bit afraid to break the smile, "What happened?"

"You lost your family," Naruto replied quietly, the smile breaking apart. The statement left an echo of pain in its wake. Sasuke bit his lip, bowed his head in understanding—and wrapped his arms around his knees, around himself, hiding his stricken face from the world, from him.

Sasuke flinched when a frail arm wrapped around his shoulders. "I told you," Naruto murmured, voice near yet distant, a faraway dream. "Sorry you lost them," in an awkward and sincere child-whisper.

He hated that word, sorry, so worthless-useless-meaningless, as if it could ease the hurt and pain and sorrow, as if it could reach and cure, touch and heal—

"It's okay," Sasuke hiccupped—honestly, sadly—his voice echoing beneath the cover of his arms, somehow glad beneath it all to hear it from Naruto, "Nii-san said why. He just did what he had to."

The hand on his shoulder gave a slight squeeze. His sniffing was louder than he wanted, so childish, and Sasuke was just glad Naruto wasn't taunting him about it because he would, maybe, "Sucky had-to, na?" Naruto whispered, and maybe not really because maybe he'd understand, maybe they were friends—

Another sniff. "Un. Danzou's evil"—but who'd want to be friends with a sniveling crybaby?—"The council too."

"I'm still mad Ero-jiji didn't do enough." Naruto's hand loosened and Sasuke quickly nudged him with a shoulder. Naruto nudged back, still not taunting, still holding on, "He's the Hokage, for fuck's sake. He's supposed to be powerful!"

Sasuke raised his head with baleful, red-rimmed eyes. "Sandaime, stupid. And your mouth's dirty. Besides," he turned away, ashamed, frowning at himself when he felt his cheeks heat up but unable to do anything about it, "I tried to destroy Konoha, I'm worse than them. I'm like… Orochimaru. Madara. I hated Konoha for a really long time." His head lowered, "If Nii-san hadn't told me, I wouldn't have known. I'd have destroyed everything because I wouldn't just stop at Konoha…"

"And you call me stupid," Naruto said, exasperated. "Madara just twisted things up, duh. He took advantage of you! You killed your brother and it's hard to take in, y'know? I mean," his right hand rose, trying to stress the importance of his words by fist alone and how it should enter Sasuke's head right away, "yeah, it's a life goal and you're an ass about your avengering but he's still your brother, plus you're stressing with us always at your ass plus, the world's after your ass then too! Sasuke-no-baka!"

The brief silence was distinct after the loud declarations.

"So you're not mad?" Sasuke asked timidly.

"Not mad ever," came the swift assurance, almost boastful in conviction.

"Swear?"

He yelped when the arm around his shoulders vanished and returned with a solid punch. "Believe it!" Naruto crowed with his other fist pumping in the air.

Sasuke growled, the pain disappearing as rapidly as it appeared, drawing a fist back and returning the punch with greater than equal force, "Usuratonkachi!"

"Itai! Fuck's that for, teme?!" Naruto cried out. He quickly reached up, rubbing his slighted shoulder.

Sasuke sneered, vindictive in his enjoyment. "For hitting me. Baka."

"Are you trying to make me mad? 'Coz you're doing a good job at it!" Naruto snapped, fired up by his spite. "And to think you've been making me promise—what, so you can annoy me and hold it over my head, huh? But you promised, Naruto! You're not mad, are you?" he mouthed in mocking monotone. "Che."

That was the poorest imitation of him that anyone had ever done. "… Hn."

Naruto huffed and stood up. "Fine! Be a bastard! As if I care anyway." He patted himself down and straightened up, making to turn away. "Jerk." He took a determined step forward. "Asshole." Another. "Prick." And still another—

"Oi! Aren't you gonna stop me?!" Naruto demanded.

"Tch. As if you'd leave," Sasuke scoffed. Leaned back, smirked, with the arrogance of a genius who knew he had won before the game began—

"Loser."

—as he willed his heart to slow down after it had sped up, panicked, his fingers gone bloodless when he had clenched his shaking hands, forced down the desperation to stop the other when that first step came to pass—

You can't leave, not after this—

"Yeah." Tan hands clenched into fists, rough voice the lashing rain, "You got the monopoly on leaving too."

He stopped breathing.

"I—shit, I didn't mean that—"

"You did," Sasuke cut in without remorse, inwardly horrified at how thick his voice had come out instead. He took a fortifying breath—you mean it with all you have and your sorry doesn't take it back—and stiffened when Naruto laid a hesistant hand on his shoulder.

I don't blame you—

"What?" he bit out.

"C'mon, plant me one?" Naruto offered clumsily, angling his face with clear uncomfortable intent. Sasuke turned to him—even this close, a hair's breadth from each other, he still couldn't see the secret called Naruto's eyes. "Limited offer, Sasuke-ya—Fuuuuuuuck!"

Sasuke settled back with a satisfied smirk. The heat on his fist was a pleasant tingling on his skin—maybe he could guilt Naruto again, somehow, this punching-the-willing actually felt good. Naruto, meanwhile, was not feeling good, showing his own displeasure by plopping beside him with a pout to drill the air, an orange eyesore of colorful expletives among the quiet green grass.

"Baka."

"—edo-snake tongue-rapi—stop calling me that!"

He waved the same hand he punched with, a master dismissing a useless slave. "You talk too much," he said lazily. The sun on his skin was making him sleepy. No wonder cats prefer to laze under a patch of sunlight…

"And you talk too—less!"

Sasuke raised an eyebrow, too relaxed to even deign to hide his amusement. Naruto sulked, clearly unrelaxed. "Okay, so that was bad. Big deal. Sasuke-kun wins again, yippee."A scowl. "Whatever."

He frowned. He didn't like that tone. So much—bitterness, envy? "Tch."

"Yeah? Well tch you too," Naruto snapped back. "Tch you, Mr. I'm-too-cool-for-words!"

Sasuke looked down. Just like that. Just like that and he was pulling at blades of grass without his notice. Just like that and his fist was curling on his lap. Just like that and all traces of leisure were gone and he was wishing this field he was driving bald with vicious precision was the moron's stupid head.

"But you—"

He looked up, still oddly affronted but listening, waiting with unnatural patience—

Naruto crossed his arms and looked away, unsure and so young, "But you really don't talk. I—" he swallowed, audible, words itself quite inaudible, but Sasuke was listening with more than his ears, "I wanted to talk to you… for a very long time…"

And Sasuke breathed freely, the unrealized tightness in his chest loosening with every word. "Baka," he rebuked, not unkind, not uncaring, "I just wanted to listen."

A stunned silence.

It meant so much to you, didn't it?

"You shoulda said so," Naruto laughed, softly, breath hitching with each attempt until they gave out and he gave up, and Sasuke was glad because laughter wasn't supposed to sound so lonely—

It did to me too.

"Every time, there," Naruto bit his bottom lip, face downcast and hiding and Sasuke understood, "I wanted to talk to you… But—you're so quiet, and so sad, and I didn't want to be like your fan girls, interrupting your brooding…"

"So what, you stood there, because you're waiting?" Sasuke asked without thought, and winced inside him a beat after at his outright stupidity, his careless insensitivity, when Naruto was finally opening up, to him—

"Yes!"

His head shot up in surprise. "You were?"

Naruto's gaze fixed on the grass, a light flush in his cheeks even his darker skin couldn't hide. "Yes," he repeated, this time more quietly, "and it's lonely watching you." A deep sigh—a sigh well beyond their age, but they hadn't been children for long, had they? "I was glad in the beginning, y'know. Someone like me, alone… But it's lonely—doesn't ever stop being that, na?—and I want to talk to you so much—"

"Why didn't you—?"

"Because it's embarrassing!" Naruto yelled, face red, arms flailing a frenzied squall, "You'd turn to look and I'd be there looking stupid and pathetic and it's embarrassing! We're boys, teme!We're supposed to just play like me and Shikamaru and Kiba and Chouji did but you didn't want to play! Sasuke, you—"

He deflated, suddenly, the wind taken out of him, "You're the hero of the academy… and I'm just the loser and… and—and I—" his shoulders fell, "—I'm just like everyone, who wanted to be your friend—"

Stupid, you're—

"I don't want to be your everyone…" Naruto's head lowered, his voice a wisp of secrets, "I want—I want to be—"

—more.

"But you are," Sasuke whispered, and how could you be so stupid, you're so much— "To me you have become—"

"—my closest friend, yeah," Naruto ended, softly, with dawning realization. A smile grew slowly on his lips, delight radiating from every inch of his being—he was giddy, Sasuke noted, a fondness welling within him pushing an answering smile out of his own. Bathed in the light of their revelation Sasuke's eyes were a soft black, aglow with a happiness so pure in his heart, in his soul—and Naruto's smile kept growing, and his own heart kept swelling, and Sasuke liked that smile so much—

He froze.

"You're bleeding…"

"Hmm?"

In his utter shock the world spun in sharp relief.

"What's happening? Why are you—"

"F-Fuck…"

The Sharingan had activated to map the details of a nightmare.

"Wha—"

Bruises bloomed on a face contorting with naked pain, wretched violets and roses dotting the landscape as blood dribbled down the gasping mouth to water them, overflowing to a shoulder pulling back with an excruciating slowness and a nauseating squelch, joining a hole tearing swiftly at Naruto's chest—

"Dobe!"

—and Sasuke could only watch, record everything to memory—

"Maa, it's cool," Naruto gurgled, so wet, so sickening— "doesn't hurt that much—"

Sasuke was beyond control of the earthquake of his skin, "Usurantonkachi! You're hurt—"

"I said it's cool, geez," Naruto moaned, frustration in the blood staining the white of his gnashed teeth, "It's just Chidori, teme—"

Sasuke shot up, stumbled forward in panic—nonono not again!—backing away blindly at the other's pained hiss, "It's not cool, dammit—" he choked out. Please, no more—

"Look, Kyuubi's on it," Naruto groaned, too exhausted to cry out, as tendrils of red slowly encased his body. Sasuke watched, transfixed, crimson calming into damp black, blood drying and bones forming and flesh mending, renewing. But the damage was done and it wasn't something Kyuubi could heal— it wasn't visible, wasn't naked to the eye but it was there, beneath their skin, and Sasuke would give anything in his power to heal it—

So useless…

"It hurts, sometimes—but only a little, mind you," Naruto admitted. The newly-healed mouth formed a little smirk—and sliced his chest open, baring his pain for the sky to see. "You shoulda told me, yarou. I'd have let you kill me—"

"Shut up," Sasuke grounded out in anger, in pain, so utterly useless, "It's not funny, fucking idiot—"

"I wasn't joking," Naruto said simply.

And it cut deeply—

"Shut up—"

—and it kept bleeding—

"What, so only you could die for your goal?" Naruto scoffed—shut up, shut up— "You failed anyway, teme, because I died for—"

Everything stopped for him right there, earth and sky obliterated by a word uttered without care.

… Died?

Naruto abruptly stood up, fists clenching into bloodless white. "Here, I'll shut up now. Fucking bossy."

Can't be—

And Sasuke gathered all his pain to himself, stood up as a viper uncoiling from the earth to strike the sky—

"Died for what?"

"But I've never said this before so hear me out. Bastard? Your costume looks stupid," Naruto declared, gesturing at the purple rope twined about his waist. "What's hebi-kusotare up to, tying boys with purple ribbons? Some kink of unwrapping you for his birthday?" His nose wrinkled, hands akimbo, normality in his scratchy voice, "Good thing you killed him before he entered your body," and fucking chuckled, the crass little pervert, "Heh, entered."

"Died for what?" Sasuke repeated, the quiet of the storm.

"That cloak too," Naruto went on, heedless of his question, chattering to overcome the deathly calm twined about his words. "You just can't—ugh, this sound so gay but you just can't work it! Speaking of gay, Sasugay, d'you know you change more clothes than even Sakura-chan? She buys a new one practically every week but her ninja costume doesn't change, like mine—which makes a helluva sense because it's a uniform—but you? It's like—" fingers, snapping, urging words to come up and overcome the coming storm, "you accepted whatever they threw at you, sewed a fan here and there and boom!" His hands threw up in an arc, a child mocking his own awe, "Costume!"

Sasuke stepped forward. "Died," unhurried, unfaltering, the tide coming for the sand, "for what."

And Naruto smiled—

"Dobe?"

—with blood trickling down his chin.

"Mine, 'course."

Agony ripped through Sasuke as blood exploded from Naruto.

"Usura—Usu—" he gasped out.

"It's okay," Naruto whispered—assuring, promising—and pitched forward as blood sprayed out his stomach, his chest. Sasuke watched, helpless, held immobile by an unseen force, as Naruto convulsed again and again—as Naruto clawed at the earth with wild wild desperation, blood splattering on the grass to form a flooded field of red, face white and mouth wide in a voiceless scream—

"Stop!" Sasuke screamed, steel clattering from his hand—why can't I—summoned the last of his strength to let his plea heard—

"Naruto, stop!"

—and the blood from a mouth and a stomach and a chest rose into the air and wrote words he couldn't see and the sky was so blue and everything was falling—

Sasuke caught him, Mangekyou ablaze, furious and so— "You moron, you don't listen—!"

Naruto tried to raise a hand—stupid, you're so fucking stupid—only to drop it, strength gone, and he caught it and it was cooling and all I do is hurt—

"You're home now…" Naruto sighed—breath stumbling, eyes sliding—and smiled, the complete loser— "Home…"

"I'm not," Sasuke whispered fiercely, "I'm not, you utter failure—" Each word with a ruthless shake, each rejection with a cruel jab—but Naruto just lay there, in his arms, eyes closed, breathing stilled, smile perfect on his face—

His blood froze.

"Oi. Stop it," Sasuke ordered, volume normal, tone strained, smirking against the pull of his traitorous mouth, eyes, "This isn't time to play dead, you unfunny piece of shit—"

Harsh breathing echoed in his ears.

"What did you do, damned moron—"

And the sky was so blue, so fucking blue—

"What did you do?!"

"Honestly, your scream can wake the dead."

And Sasuke shot up, chest a wildfire of burning hope—

"That the power you worked for?"

—and met the symbol of his village embossed in cold silver.

"N-No," he stuttered out, face draining of its remaining colors—air rushed out of his lungs in shock, stolen by a stranger with a questioning smile. Sasuke bowed down, eyes hot, denial a rapid drumbeat in his chest, took choking gulps of air as he struggled to breathe—where are you where did you go how can I find you when you won't tell—emotions rising and crashing against breaking walls of control until he exploded, livid, "Give him back! Give him back to me damn you—!"

And the stranger clad in black just cocked his head, politely—

—stop it you're not him don't you dare act like him—

"What are you talking about—"

—don't you dare!—

"—Sasuke-san?"

"Shut up!" Sasuke roared. He destroyed the chasm between them, his fists grappling on black robe as he grappled for truth, "You know what I'm talking about so shut up!" Sasuke shook him wildly, a ragdoll in his grasp. "Give him back!"

"Give who back, precisely?" he asked, well-mannered with his taunting, the familiar formality of a stranger and so fucking infuriating— "Do I look like a kidnapper?"

Sasuke shoved him, enraged, a touch of hysteria in his eyes—

"Give him back!"

—and he didn't know who as in his mind they were the same—

"Give them back to me!"

He struggled against fingers that entrapped him by the wrists of his hands, blindly strangled air-truth-throat—

"You took them with you," was the calm if uneven rejoinder, voice hoarse from a pressure forcibly released, just now. "Just like you took something from him…"

Took… something…

"… and something from me."

… from him?

His breath hitched.

"You lie—"

Red lips curved. "Do I?"

His hands slowly dropped.

A flash of white teeth. "You sound so sure, Sasuke-san, but are you?"

His feet stumbled back.

A flutter of tempting black. "I can help you."

He shook his head feebly.

A strand of teasing gold. "Just say yes, I will."

"You're…"

He grasped at sanity, desperate—

"You're lying…"

A glint of silver, merciless—

"I can help you forget—"

Black bled into red and Sasuke screamed.

With every breath—

"You—"

With every heartbeat—

"—and your useless bonds— "

The words he lived by—

"I hate you…"

The words he would die for—

"I hate you!"

And he was fury with a rain of fists, madness and rage, and he was wounded and he was anguished and he meant every word—

"I know," came sadly.

—and he wanted to take it all back—

"And it's okay," Naruto said—and he was smiling, again, so brilliant, so warm—accepting, like always, whatever he could take—

"It's okay."

—and Sasuke could hardly see, the world was stilling and blurring—

"And I'd die again, if I have to—"

And his throat had closed up and he couldn't speak anymore—

"Because Sasuke—"

And his eyes had slipped down and he couldn't see anymore—

"I don't."

And silver floated down—

And there—

Was—

Nothing.