Chapter 24

Ozymandias

I met a traveller from an antique land,

Who said—"Two vast and trunkless legs of stone

Stand in the desert. . . . Near them, on the sand,

Half sunk a shattered visage lies, whose frown,

And wrinkled lip, and sneer of cold command,

Tell that its sculptor well those passions read

Which yet survive, stamped on these lifeless things,

The hand that mocked them, and the heart that fed;

And on the pedestal, these words appear:

My name is Ozymandias, King of Kings;

Look on my Works, ye Mighty, and despair!

Nothing beside remains. Round the decay

Of that colossal Wreck, boundless and bare

The lone and level sands stretch far away."

-Percy Bysshe Shelley, Ozymandias

Bob's Beeper Emporium, Wednesday morning

-BOB-

I stared at the wreckage of the shattered display case. I'm not sure exactly why I expected it to be any different… in the good old days I would've had people to clean this up.

But then, in the good old days, this would've never happened, would it? In the good old days, this place would be full of people, I'd be the King, everyone would be loyal. Now, this display case was the perfect, whaddayacallit, metaphor for my life. My business was a wreck. My family was a wreck. Everything was falling apart around me. Miriam had been growing more useless by the day, and now both of my daughters had abandoned me. The other one I might've expected. That girl never had her head screwed on right. But Olga… OLGA… Olga had never talked back to me, except for that one time when she was engaged to that Doug LeShamme guy. Whatever happened to that guy, anyway? He was one heck of a catch.

But even then, she'd never just flat-out laid into me the way she did that day. And why? All I did was call Helga an ungrateful moody brat. It's the truth! I work my fingers to the bone for her, for this family, and she never ever thanks me. Am I wrong to expect a little gratitude from the people I clothe and feed?

I started sweeping up the broken glass. Some of the devices were probably okay, but the case, that was done. I was gonna have to take it apart and throw it out. Last thing I need.

She'd done it. It. That… thing wearing my girl's face. It had dared to come in here, pretending to be her, acting like it had any right to be here, daring to criticize my decisions, destroying my property. And then Miriam had taken ITS side. As if I was wrong.

I had come that close to doing the one thing I swore I would never do.

"I'm leaving, B."

I'd barely registered it at first. "Uh huh." The Enginola 370 was a loss, but I would probably be able to get something for that Nikoa with a couple of scratches. The Palmbuddies were in good condition; people still used those, right?

"I said, 'I'm leaving.'"

She was firmer this time. In fact, firmer than I'd heard her in ages.

"I heard you. Bring back coffee. How long you gonna be out?"

"I don't think you get what's going on here, B."

"Whaddaya talking about?" I said, finally turning around. "All I wanna know is-"

She looked alert, more alert than she'd been since I have no idea when. And she'd packed a bag.

"Oh, so you're going to walk out on me too?"

"I'm going to find our girls."

"We don't have girls, Miriam. We have one traitor and one… thing."

"A THING? Bob, h-how could you call our daughter that?"

"THAT wasn't our daughter, Miriam. Maybe it took you in, but there is no way I'm accepting that monster is my girl! I don't know what its game is, but Big Bob Pataki ain't gettin' played for no sucker!"

"Are you saying I don't know my own daughter?" There was a cold fury in her voice, and I knew I had crossed a line there.

"Look, I-" She cut me off.

"I'm leaving, Bob. And, honestly… I'm not sure I'll be back. All I know is… this… can't continue. Not the way it is."

"Look, I," I tried again. "Maybe things aren't great right now, but we've stuck together until now."

"Our daughters… one of whom, need I remind you, is eleven… have run away. Your business is approaching bankruptcy. And your bright idea to get us out of the hole is to turn the store into a money-laundering operation for the mob. Do you know what rock bottom is?"

"Honey-"

"Rock bottom is when you're so far gone that can't see the world crumbling around you. Alcohol was my excuse, B. What's yours?"

"I-"

"You need to decide, Bob. What's more important to you? Your family? Or keeping this place on life-support?"

"Honey, you're asking me to give up on my dream!"

"Dreams end, Bob. They're very nice while they last, but they end. And then you have to face reality."

She was right, of course. I'd gone over the numbers in my head over and over and in the end, this business was simply unsustainable. But it had been drilled into me from a young age; Patakis don't lose. Big Franz Pataki had made that crystal clear every time I brought back a C, with his belt, or when that wasn't available, his fists. Nothing quite drove a lesson home like that.

(At least I've never done that, right? I can honestly say, at least I've never laid a hand on anyone I've loved. That makes me better than him, right?)

I could salvage this right now. I could admit I was wrong, beg for forgiveness,

But Patakis don't beg. That's another thing that's been beaten into me.

"Fine. Get out. I don't need you." The anger, which had faded, was starting to build again. How dare she accuse me of putting my business before my family? Who was she? I'm the man here! She should be listening to me!

"I guess you don't." She shouldered her back and walked out. "Good luck with your business, Bob. Oh, wait… that's kind of not yours anymore either, is it?" And with that, she exited my life, maybe for good.

It didn't matter anymore. Nothing mattered.

I dragged myself to my chair, the one piece of furniture left from our old place. I'd be damned if I ever sold my chair. I sagged into my throne, a king with no crown, no court, no kingdom. No queen.

The door opened again, and Little Gino entered with several of his boys. "Whoa, what happened here?" he commented, taking a drag off a cheap cigar. "Looks like a B&E, some theft…" he nodded at his associates, who started collecting the scattered electronics. "Yep, you should put in a claim for all that stolen merch." He nodded at them again; they smashed open another display case".

"My insurance isn't exactly paid up," I protested.

"Don't worry about that. We've taken the liberty of taking out a policy on you. You'll get what's comin'… after we get our cut, of course."

"Of course." It was already starting. My stupidity and stubbornness had cost me my business and my family, but at least someone was making bank, right?

"Oh, and an associate of mine will be dropping by soon. We're gonna need storage space for some… special merchandise of ours."

"Special" probably meaning "very illegal." Whatever.

Not like it's my place.

-MIRIAM-

Well, that was a pretty speech, wasn't it? If only I knew where I was going from here.

It had taken every erg of motivation in me to do what I had just done. Motivation was just not something that came easy to me. Depression tended to be like that. A lot of people simply dismiss depression as being sad. It's not that at all, though. It was more like… if I had to give it a description… a weight. It dragged you down. It sapped your will. You can't just "get happy"… that was simply not how it works. Depression was a constant companion. Even when I was feeling good, it was there, lurking in the background.

Just as it was now, when the thrill of walking out on Bob was starting to wear off and I found myself now walking aimlessly, no idea where to go or what to do with myself. Where would I even start? This was a pretty sizeable city, how was I supposed to find two individual people in this city of hundreds of thousands, one of whom was capable of flying? I needed to think. I needed to clear my mind. A drink would clear my mind. I should get a drink. I'll go get one now.

I was actually a quarter of the way to the bar before I came to my senses. That's how insidious the need was. It had me doing things before I even was aware of it. I needed to deal with that. That was step two. Step one was finding my babies. And I had nowhere to begin. More aimless wandering, I guess. A drink will he-

See? It just keeps sneaking back into your head, telling you it'll solve all your problems, conveniently neglecting to mention it's the thing actually causing the problems. I did need to clear my head. Coffee. Coffee would help.

Bigal's café wasn't too far, and would serve as an immediate goal until I could plan better. The coffee there wasn't too great but it also was pretty cheap, and considering I probably didn't have much in my purse… how much did I have?

I checked. $108.00? When did I get that? I don't remember getting it. Am I that out of it? Well, it'll keep me going for a little while. I need a job, too, if I really plan on leaving B behind, even on a temporary basis. That's step 3. Or maybe 2. Step 3 is getting help for my drinking problem. All this is overwhelming. I should get a drink.

GAH.

I took a look in the window, spotting a familiar face. Of course, this was a popular neighborhood eatery, so the odds of seeing someone I knew was pretty high.

I'd gotten to know this particular person during a summer beach trip about a year and a half ago. We'd taken dance classes together and the experience had greatly lightened up what I expected to be a dreary trip (I do not tan well and I'm not a fan of sand. It's coarse and it gets everywhere). On the whole, it was just nice to actually make a friend.

Suzie and I had stayed in contact for a little while after the trip, but as usual I vanished back down the hole again and we lost touch. So it was a pretty odd coincidence that here she was again now that I was dragging myself back out of it. She was in one of the booths in the back, talking to some guy. Smiling. Girlishly giggling?

Was this a date? I remember she was married seemingly not particularly happily, to a rather sketchy East-European guy. This guy was a rather pleasant-looking redheaded guy with a bushy mustache. He looked vaguely familiar… maybe from one of the parent-teacher gatherings I'd actually managed to drag myself to? Maybe he was one of Helga's friends' fathers…

In any case, this was none of my business. I went in, ordered a coffee and took a table at the opposite end. I sat there nursing my coffee and wondering just what I was going to do now.

I was still lost in my thoughts when she came over. "Miriam?" I looked up. "I haven't seen you around in ages! What have you been doing with yourself? Why didn't you come up and say hi?"

"Oh, uh… well… you know… you looked busy, and I didn't want to interrupt you."

"Oh, nonsense, you wouldn't have been an interruption. In any case, Larry had to run back to work, so I'm free now."

I gave her a conspiratorial look. "So… who is this 'Larry'? You looked pretty friendly. Weren't you married to that Oswald guy?"

"Oskar, and, actually… today's my ten month divorce-aversary! I was just celebrating."

"You're divorced?"

"I know… I was married to Oskar for fourteen years, but… sometimes you have to make a change. I kept thinking, 'Oh, maybe he'll get better, maybe he'll finally quit gambling, maybe he'll finally get a real job and I won't have to work myself into an early grave to pay off his rapidly accumulating debts, maybe he'll actually start showing me some actual consideration on a regular basis and not only when I'm on the verge of walking out on him', but you know? It wasn't going to happen, and I guess I finally accepted that."

"You seem really happy."

"I am, actually. I got a big promotion at work, I'm seeing a much nicer guy… it's been as if I've gotten rid of this huge weight that's been holding me down."

"Really. So. Tell me about this Larry."

"Oh, well, he used to be a farmer over in Kansas until he lost his wife a few years back. He hit some financial difficulties after that, the bank foreclosed on his farm, and he had to move over here with his daughter – I simply adore her, by the way, she's the sweetest thing; hopefully she'll warm up to me eventually – and since then he's been working as the produce department manager over at the Alvinsons' on Pine Street. Actually… I'm the first woman he's been out with in five years."

"It must have been difficult for him." Good, keep her talking about herself, we don't need to get into me…

"He likes to focus on going forward, not dwelling on the past. We're a lot alike like that. Anyway, I think we've talked about me enough. What have you been up to?" Well, there goes that strategy.

"Oh, you know… nothing really big…"

"It kind of looks like you're going somewhere." Damn it, why do you have to be so perceptive.

"I, um… well... uh… " I hung my head. There was no getting around this. "I left Bob."

She leaned forward. "What happened."

"A lot of things. I don't know if it's permanent, I just know I can't be with him right now."

"It sounds like you really need to talk about it. It's a really good thing you ran into me."

"Don't you have to be getting back to work too?"

"Pfft. I'm the day manager at Budnicks. I'm basically the boss. What am I gonna do, fire me for being a little late? Now, come on. Dish."

"I… I don't know where to begin, really. Do I start with the collapse of the beeper market, or… well… it goes back further than that, really…"

"If you need a moment to gather your thoughts, we can always order more coffee."

"No… actually, this goes back much farther. B and I got married very young. Just out of high school, really. He worked in his dad's import-export business while I was training… I made the US Olympic swim team, you know… but then I got pregnant and that was pretty much it for that. When I had Olga, the post-partum depression hit really bad, and I started to develop a bit of a drinking problem, but I was able to keep it under control for the most part. Some time after that, B lost his father and took over the business. He had this idea that beepers would be the future, really threw himself into it. I was left alone a lot. And depression and drinking are a dangerous combination. It's like a dark hole and the sides are slippery, so it's really hard to climb out." I took a breath. None of this was more than window dressing for why I ultimately walked out, but once I started, it was hard to stop. "I did when I got pregnant a second time, but after I gave birth to Helga, it started getting even worse.

"Now, Olga was a very talented girl, very outgoing. Bob used to lavish attention on her. I think… maybe too much. Helga was different, introverted, solitary. She just sort of fell into the shadows naturally while Olga sucked up all our attention, and even when Olga had moved on to college, we were stuck in the habit of ignoring her. I'm not trying to make excuses for it. There are none. We should have never let it get so bad."

Suzie had been sitting there listening patiently as I went on and on, nodding occasionally but otherwise showing no judgement either way. I had no idea what she could possibly thinking during my heartfelt confession of alcoholism and parental neglect.

I decided to cut to the chase. "Anyway, the bottom recently fell out of the beeper market. The signs were there for years, but B was convinced that smartphones were just going to be a fad. People were still buying the flip phones and Loganberries we sold, so we held on for a while, but then that market dried up. The only business we really get right now is people coming in to buy batteries, and even that isn't much considering you can get those anywhere.

"So, the business Bob built so hard is going down the tubes. My drinking is getting worse than ever. Everything around this time gets to be sort of hazy, but at one point, Helga and Olga went down to San Lorenzo and got mixed up in this whole to-do involving river pirates and a lost civilization, honestly it was like something out of a crazy movie. Bob even dragged me down there to mount a rescue mission, as useless as I was.

"You would think THAT would be the craziest part of the scenario, but this next part… well, I'm not sure how to put it in a way that wouldn't get me dragged off to rehab. Or the nuthouse."

"Try me," Suzie prodded.

"Well… the business, and me, continue to deteriorate. Bob even turns down a very generous offer from Buckley Lloyd to buy the Beeper Emporium and convert it into retail space. And then, right after that, Helga vanishes. That was the last straw. Forget about being down a hole, it was like someone rolled a boulder over it. I was only vaguely aware that B and Olga had a huge fight and she stormed out.

"The next thing I'm aware of, I'm being shaken out of my stupor by Helga. I think this is it, I finally managed to kill myself and wind up in hell, because when I look at her, she has horns and fangs and gigantic bat wings."

"You were probably just seeing things, Miriam."

"That's just it… I wasn't. She really was back, all on her own, and that's really what she looked like. I've never been happier to see anyone in my life, Suzie. Maybe she was different, but my baby was back and in my arms and all was right with the world again for one moment.

"And then it all went to hell again. Just as she got back, Bob was in the middle of making a deal with an underworld figure to clean up his debts. That's how out of it I was. Bob was throwing in with the mob, and I just let it slip by me. Well, when Helga finds out, she gets right in his face and lets him have it, and of course B does NOT take backtalk well, so he gets in HER face, and in the middle of their fight he calls my girl a freak. Well. Helga loses it, smashes a display case… with her bare fists, mind you… and storms out of there.

"And that was when I realized that things had to change. I simply couldn't let Bob drive away everything I cared about with his stubborn refusal to face reality. And so, this morning, I told him in no uncertain terms that he had to decide what was important in his life. Then I walked out."

I took a deep breath, having finally come to the end of my screed, "So… that's where I am right now. I'm going to find my girls, and I'm going to get my life together. I have no idea how I'm going to do either of those things, but at least I have a goal in mind, right?"

"It's always good to start so- did you say she had wings?"

I nodded. "Wings, a tail, two sets of arms… she said she was mutated by alien spores, and that she'd been on some sort of fantastic journey across the Northwest… honestly, if I hadn't seen it with my own two eyes, I'd lock me up in the loony bin too."

"Well… if she looks like that, she'll be easy to find, won't she." Suzie remarked. "Can't be many people like that in Hillwood."

"I guess, but Helga can be very good at not being found when she doesn't want to be. And I'm not sure she wants to be."

"It doesn't seem like she's mad at you specifically…"

"Of course she is. I've always taken his side in the past. She has no reason to think any different this time."

"Well.. at least let me help you out. If you need a place to stay, I have room in my apartment, and there might be an opening at the store. I'll have to check."

"Thanks, but you've done more than enough just hearing me out. Especially since the ending sounds a lot like a madman's diary."

"That's what friends are for, Miriam." She paused. "Alien spores?"

"Tell you what, if I do find her, she can tell you herself."

"When," Suzie corrected, putting a reassuring hand on mind. "When you find her."

A. N. This chapter wasn't supposed to be this long. It was just supposed to be the Bob scene, but then I realized that Miriam deserved to have her motivations fleshed out too, and I also wanted to establish Suzie's part in the story (and yes, that's Lila's dad she's dating).

I would also like to apologize for starting the chapter with a poem. I usually don't get that pretentious, but that poem's such a perfect metaphor for Bob's situation right now that I couldn't resist.

Metalhead: The girls have been lucky that most of the people they've run into either already know and love them or are very accepting of the strange and unusual. As you can see from Bob's reaction, it won't always be that smooth.

Nettie: I needed a nice fluffy chapter before things got darker again in this one.

Jose: Hey, Phoebe was one panic attack away from becoming Elk Island's answer to Sasquatch. Luckily her good impulses prevailed.

Next chapter: "You Are Cordially Invited"