A/N: Thank you so much everyone for liking the story. I'm so touched and I feel so happy when I read each review. Most of you probably wanted a confrontation only between Naoki and Kotoko. But I didn't want them to go through the same pain twice confronting their family. It will break Kotoko. Besides, they are a strong family. They should stick together in all situation taking care of each other. The previous chapter was hard to write I admit.

I apologise for any kind of spelling or grammatical error. I try hard not to make any but I always mix up between British and American English. Please point out my errors everyone and I will make the correction. Thank you again! :)

Kotoko's disease, diagnosis, causes, symptoms, treatment- everything is written out of imagination which does not have any logical explanation.

Painful Realisations

(General POV)

When Yuki entered the sitting room, he found everyone had remained in the same posture as he left them. He hovered over the door pondering what to do. The total turn of the events since this morning was the last thing he expected. While Naoki suddenly inviting a guest over lunch was surprising, the revelation of Kotoko suffering from Neuroshia was absolutely shocking. He started to remember the times when he witnessed Kotoko being ill over the whole year.

"How can we not see how much Kotoko-chan was suffering. How can we not know she was ill?" Mrs. Irie voiced the words that was crossing Yuki's mind at the same time.

"I understand how you feel Naoki mama. But we have to be strong now. We have to take care of her." Mr. Irie said, caressing his wife's hair.

"What kind of father am I? I failed as a father in the same way I failed as a husband." Mr. Aihara howled.

"Ai-chan, don't be ridiculous. You did not fail in anything. You have raised a very strong daughter. She must have had her reasons to hide it." Mr. Irie stated.

"According to the doctors, she didn't want to worry us." Yuki said.

"Oh… Kotoko-chan, why must you suffer alone? We're your family, aren't we?" Mrs. Irie sobbed. She has been crying since the doctors left.

"Naoki mama, please be strong." Mr. Irie said sitting down beside her.

"What are we going to do now Naoki papa?" Mrs. Irie looked at her husband with red puffy eyes.

"Everything will be fine. I'm sure Naoki will do everything in his power to save Kotoko-chan. I'm sure he will find a way." Mr. Irie tried to console his wife.

"I wish she didn't hide it for so long. I wish she would let us be there for her." Mr. Aihara gulped.

"Oji-san, it's never too late. We will start from today. We will be with her starting from now." Yuki declared.

"He is right Ai-chan. In order to be with her, we have to be strong." Mr. Irie said.

Mr. Aihara nodded in agreement. He took long deep breaths to calm his senses.

Yuki decided to bring water for the adults. He went into the kitchen. His eyes fell on the lunch table set outside. He sighed. He went back to the sitting room with water and poured water to all the adults. After that he went into their back-yard and cleaned the lunch table. No one would want to eat lunch under the current circumstances for sure.

He returned into the sitting area again and sat down on a sofa. He was mentally cursing himself for not noticing anything till now.

Oni-chan wasn't home but I was. How can I not notice anything at all? Baka Yuki.

"I wonder how oni-chan is coping up." He mumbled in an audible tone. Everyone looked into his direction but nobody answered. They all were pondering on the same thing.

...

Naoki was seated beside the sleeping Kotoko. He was still struggling to breathe normally. His heart was hammering and he was really thirsty. But he didn't want to leave Kotoko for one moment right now so he remained seated. No one can fathom the amount of guilt he was experiencing. His heart was very heavy. He softly took Kotoko's hand on his right hand and put his other one on top of it. He read a few reports in Kobe and Dr. Ayano already emailed the rest 10 minutes ago. He saw the email notification but couldn't bring himself to check those out just yet. He doesn't know why… but he just couldn't.

...

(Naoki POV)

Finally I mastered up the courage and got up. I turned on the laptop to check my email. It was indeed an email from Dr. Ayano. I took a long breath and started reading the reports. He had sent me all the reports containing all the details that were found out until now. I opened the first document. It's her first diagnosis report. I went through them carefully, taking in every detail. She had started her treatment as soon as she started working in the hospital like Dr. Ayano said.

I faintly remember her mentioning about the Neuroshia patient during that time. It's pathetic how I never realised! Why did I ever not notice? I should have paid more attention to her words. I should have inquired more about her work. I should have given more priority to my wife over anything else. I should have visited home at least once...

It seems that she inherited Neuroshia from her mother because her mother had Neuroshia when she was pregnant with Kotoko. But then why her father never suspected it? It felt strange. Maybe otou-san didn't understand about the disease when her mother had it. This disease was barely recognised in Japan during that time. He is going to feel bad about it. I sighed.

Kotoko was diagnosed immediately after her symptom's started to appear. This is the only piece of information which made me feel a little relief. At least she didn't ignore her symptoms and immediately acted upon them. Well, I could expect no less from her as she is herself a nurse.

Only I wish if she had found me worthy enough to share her sufferings too. My heart pierced very sharply at the thought. I had to inhale a deep breath to bring my focus back on the screen.

She was in her first stage when she started the treatment. The treatment went smooth until the last 2 months. The problems that started to appear after that were listed and also their possible treatment procedure was also suggested. If they fail the next therapy she will enter her second stage.

I already know about the stages of Neuroshia. The last few days, I had spent all my spare time reading about the disease. According to the USA survey, the second stage lasts longer than the first and the last stages. The 3rd stage which is the last one is the shortest. This means there is almost no hope once the patient crosses the 2nd stage.

She is about to enter the second stage. A very vulnerable stage. She must be feeling a million times worse than I am feeling. I shivered.

I suddenly remembered about her mentioning about the stages of Neuroshia on the week before I left to Kobe for the conference. So she really did try to tell me about it. But then she fainted, probably due to stress. I banged my hand hard on the table feeling frustrated. I shouldn't have waited for her to open up. I was oblivious and left her to suffer right in front of my eyes. This matter is too hard for her to explain. But she did try. I felt slightly relaxed only for a fraction of a moment before I realised she never tried that earlier.

Why now? Why not immediately after she found out? She was not someone to keep a secret from me. And on top a secret this big? What could be the reason that she kept it to herself? What stopped her from sharing it with me? She even kept it a secret from the entire family just to make sure I don't find out. Even to the extent of making a contract with her doctors banning them from the authority to contact her family! Just why?

This cannot be only because she did not want to worry me... or hurt me. Because her not sharing her burdens with me is more hurtful. The fact that she suffered from it alone for so long is really unendurable. Does she not know how much she means to me? Does she not realise that not being a part of her pain is unbearable. The feeling is so painful that it suffocates from the inside.

Yuki told me yesterday that she started working on the longer shifts after the discovery of her allergic problem. In other words, she started avoiding the family so they wouldn't notice her side effects. She has quite a few of them according to her reports. I quickly analysed the summery.

Dizziness... Muscle stiffness and pain... Vomiting... Body swelling... Breathing problem... Fever... Headache... weak pulse and low blood pressure... Fainting... What? Now that is not just a few! I simply stared at the report unable to think properly.

How did she go through all of this alone?

Moreover, the less chances of baby conceiving? She endured the news of the heart-breaking possibility all alone? She... out of all people on this planet had to go through this alone? When she loves the children? When she loves the idea of being a mother... mother of my child? But she had to be told that she might never become a mother? She... She had to withstand that pain... all alone!

Why?

Without a warning the answer knocked me in my brain. My heart nearly stopped.

Because I was never there for her.

I was never there for her in her need. I had no idea what she had to go through the entire year, not because she didn't tell me, but because I never tried to find out. I knew it instantly when she started to share less with me. I knew it when she got so busy that her calls were getting less and less to the point of extinction. But I did not try to find out the reason. I did not ponder on it for more details. I was never worried about her to the point where I would leave everything behind and return to find out what was going on with her until a few weeks ago.

Rather I assumed things which were far away from the truth. Things that seems totally absurd now.

I felt sweat dripping from my head and my whole body was shaking. I felt cold and drained out of all the energy. I rested my forehead on the table and tried to calm my senses. But I failed miserably. Something inside me was snapping, as if my heart was breaking and I could feel each and every crack.

I don't know how much time has passed since I wasn't exactly aware of my surroundings. But I was alert enough to hear Kotoko stirring behind me. I jumped to my feet and rushed to her.

"Kotoko..." I called out.

She opened her eyes and looked up at me. Her eyes slowly tears up. I stood still looking back at her. Once her tears started to flow down I went near her and sat on the bed. My own hands were shaking but I wiped the tears off her face using my fingers and shook my head indicating her not to cry. My throat was dry and hurting and it was difficult to speak. But I managed to say the only word that was torturing me.

"Why?"

She closed her eyes and didn't speak anything. She kept crying silently and I kept looking feeling very tight around the chest. After a while she opened her eyes and tried to sit up. I helped her to sit and put a pillow behind her so she could lean on it. But instead of leaning back she moved forward and hugged me. My body was still shaking slightly due to the lack of energy and I stiffed at first.

But soon I relaxed in her embrace and pulled her closer burying my face in her hairs.

"Why? Just why Kotoko?" My voice broke.

She still didn't answer. I held her even more tightly. Probably I was hurting her but I couldn't let go of her. I was afraid to break the embrace… afraid to meet her eyes.

"Why did you have to go through all this alone? Why did it have to happen?" I gulped. "Why... I... I never even realised... I..." I felt loss of words.