A/N: Yeah...I finally did it...well almost.
'Before whom evil trembles' has come to an end after 7 long years. I am not sure if I should be proud or start crying. I really loved this fic and I am thinking about making this an original fic.
There will be an epiloge -hopefully during the next couple of weeks.
Let me know what you think.
Chapter twenty-one: Full circle
Cairo, September 1936 AD:
Nervously Ardeth starred across the street toward the window where he had seen the silhouette of a woman moments before, unsure how to proceed. He found her! He finally found her!
A couple of months ago he would not have hesitated to rush over to the house and rip the door open in his haste to see Lilly again. But an encounter with an angry woman, who was defiantly not Lilly, was still fresh in his mind even though the bruises he had received from her widely swinging pan had healed by now. After that he had taken the time to knock on doors, but each time a stranger opened and the iron fist around his heart tightened.
One would think that it could not be so hard to find a woman with such an exotic appearance in a land where most people had dark hair, dark eyes and dark skin. In truth it had been quite a challenge.
Her disappearance had hit him completely unprepared. The goddesses were banished. Lilly was no longer a vessel and he finally dared to hope for a shared future. Why would she leave then? Why would she take the Canopic Jars with her? How did she even know about the Jars?
The only way Ardeth could think of was that she overheard his discussion with Rashid. She had to know that the only reason why he kept it from her was because of Sekhmet, or not? Was that the reason why she left? But why did she take the Jars with her? Did the ritual even work or was she still a vessel for the goddesses? But if so, what did she want with the Jars, if they were empty? And more importantly -if not why take them with her? She must have realised that the Medjai could not simply ignore that the souls of two ancient goddesses where taken from their care. He had so many questions but no real answers.
After they discovered her gone, there had been chaos and some ugly words. Though nobody had confronted him directly he had overheard two of his men discussing his obvious affection for Lilly and how it was distracting him from his duties. How it was partly his fault that things were so messy. That his inability to do what was necessary where she was concerned lead them all into danger.
The truth was far more complicated than that, but he did not trouble himself with correcting them or even letting them know that he heard them.
Ardeth believed in fate, kismet, and he was convinced that the Eye was supposed to be released and Lilly was supposed to be her vessel. Everything that happened; their meeting in Cairo, her amulet which was a gift from his father, Lilly's knowledge about their culture that lead them to the secret temple as well as his visions and the ritual were fixed marks in time. Nothing could have changed the outcome of it. Everything happened exactly as it was bound to happen and deep down Ardeth knew the ritual worked and they did banish Hathor and Sekhmet from their vessel. The only thing he did not know was kismet's plan regarding Lilly and him.
"Only one way to find out." He mumbled and took one last deep breath bevor he crossed the street. It was early afternoon. The sun was standing at his highest point and everyone who could had fled the heat. Nobody was around who took notice of him, which suited him fine. Lilly had settled down in one of the better parts of Cairo, where the sight of a Medjai -or any man who did not look European, could quickly lead to the appearance of a police squad.
Had she been here the whole time? Cairo had been the first place where he looked for her but apparently not thoroughly enough.
This morning he had followed a lead to a small bakery on the market, which Lilly frequented often, regarding his source. He did not expect much and after waiting for a short while he was ready to leave when he noticed a woman dressed in a simple linen dress. A blue scarf covered her head, so he could not see her hair colour, but something about the way she moved caught his attention. It was familiar.
With a wildly pondering heart he had followed her over the market and watched her haggle with merchants and buy goods, all the while trying to get a better look at her face without giving himself away. He had no such luck but at some point, her scarf had slipped a bit and uncovered distinctive auburn red hair. It was her, he was sure. Ardeth had followed her up to this house and waited outside unsure how to proceed. Nobody had entered the house, and apart from an older Egyptian woman, nobody left it since then.
Silently he climbed through the half-opened window and slipped inside. Thick curtains sheltered the inside form the aggressive sunlight and covered everything in shadows. From what he could see it looked like a bedroom. Small but nicely furnished.
Ardeth was about to slip through the door and heed further into the house, when a soft noise reached his ear and he froze. After a long moment of utter silence, he was convinced that he misheard, when he heard it again. Suddenly his heart was pounding wildly in his chest and as silently as he could, he stepped nearer to the source of the sound. Deeper into the shadows.
A crib.
Nearly invisible, the dark woodwork blended into the shady room. Ardeth swallowed hard and stepped nearer. White shimmering linen cloth became visible before his eyes landed on the sleeping baby inside.
He had no idea how long he stood there, completely immobile and starred.
The vision. He remembered the face of the boy, who had his face and Lilly's eyes. His son. His son! The baby inside the crib had to be his son! He had the same dark hair and skin colour. Lighter than his but darker than Lilly's. His face was scrunched together as if he was in deep concentration. An unhappy noise left his rosy lips and his little fingers twitched as if he wanted to grasp something that wasn't there. His nose twitched before he settled down again. He was utterly perfect.
His son!
His legs wobbled as the impact of that realisation hit him.
He had a son. He was a father. Lilly had been pregnant. And alone.
Why hadn't she come back? Didn't she want him in her life?
Despite everything that happened between him and Lilly, he never spared a thought about the possibility of her becoming pregnant. Or had he secretly hoped for it? The vision had sparked a longing in him he could not deny, but it had been careless of him forget the consequences it had for her.
A soft sniffling sound ripped him out of his musings. Instinctive he reached out to sooth the baby only to rip his hand back with a yelp of pain.
Out of nowhere a cat had materialized inside the crib, claws out and still dipping with his blood. The beast was hissing at him and daring him to try to touch its warden again. It looked oddly familiar too, with its multi-coloured tabby and maimed ear. Wasn't it one of the cats they used for the ritual? No, that could not be true. They escaped in the chaos how would they find their way to Cairo?
"Ardeth!"
His head flew around at the sound of his name and he forgot about the cat, his hand and nearly how-to breath. There she stood, exactly how he remembered her. His yell had obviously alerted her to his presence in the house and she did not come unprepared as the gun in her slowly sinking hand showed him. But it was not the gun that shocked him, but the baby in her other arm.
The other baby!
He looked at the sleeping infant inside the crib and back to the babe in her arms. His eyes switched back and forth until he felt slightly dizzy. His legs felt wobbly once again and the stinging pain in his chest reminded him that he needed air.
"Ardeth?"
With a loud gasp he sucked in as much air as he could. The pain in his chest lessened but the dizziness remained. "W-what? How?"
"Twins." Lilly answered calmly and stepped nearer after she dropped the gun on a near sideboard.
"Twins." He repeated numbly and fixed his gaze on her.
"Yes."
"Twins."
"Ardeth?" She looked worried.
"Twins." He repeated, again, like a complete idiot. His brain had trouble catching up but, in his defence, it was not every day that a man was confronted with this kind of life altering information.
One baby was a surprise but two? Two felt like his whole world had turned upside down. Not particularly in a bad way, but totally unexpected. He had been looking for Lilly for nearly a year and during that time he had pictured all kinds of scenarios about their reunion. In some, she greeted him with a happy smile and teary eyes and readily welcomed him back into her life. In others he was met with furious words that would quickly transform into a screaming match which would result in a heated kiss or she would try to run away from him, and he would catch her. But all those scenarios ended with them as a couple – a married couple as he had little intention of ever letting her slip from him again. He wanted what he had seen in the vision. Lilly as part of his tribe. As his partner. His wife and mother of his child. To find out that he already was a farther, of two no less, came as a shock.
"Ardeth maybe you better sit down." A hand on his shoulder carefully pushed him backwards until he felt the edge of a chair at the back of his thighs. He sunk down heavily.
"Better?" The hand on his shoulder squeezed him lightly and he could feel her fingers gliding back. Before she could release him, he grasped her hand in his own and pushed it against his cheek. He needed a sign that this was real and not just a really good dream.
"Azusa?"
"Yes, Ardeth this is real." Apparently, he had spoken out loud. "Are you alright?"
Was he alright? Overwhelmed. Frightened. Ecstatic. But alright? Before he could find a satisfying answer the baby in the crib suddenly started to cry.
"Here hold her!" From one second to the other Lilly transferred the baby she was holding into his arms and stepped towards the crib. He could feel the panic rising back again but instinctively cradled the baby protectively against him. Then he registered what she said. Her!
Slowly his eyes roamed over the little being in his arms, from toe to face until he looked into a pair of astonishing big eyes that seemed to be as fascinated by him as he was with her. His daughter. Ardeth was thankful that he was sitting, or he might have collapsed on the floor.
Ever so carefully he shifted her in his arms until he had one hand free to map the features of her face with his fingers. Her skin felt unbelievable soft and tender under his weather-beaten hand. Awestruck he lined her cheek, nose and mouth when suddenly her little fingers latched on his forefinger with an astonishing tight grip and she started to smile at him. A big toothless smile that covered her whole face.
Ardeth's heart stuttered for a second as if it acknowledged it was not his own anymore. Tears were freely running down her cheeks.
"Her name is Hashina."
Hashina -the pretty one.
What a fitting name. He smiled down at her.
I missed you.
I am sorry.
I love you.
Lilly wanted to say all that, but the words would not come out. He looked so lost, sitting there and starring at her in confusion.
"Is this real or just a really good dream?"
Obviously, she was not the only one who had dreamed about seeing each other again. She had barley time to assure him of reality when her son started to cry and she had to put Hashina in Ardeth's arms to look after him.
The familiar procedure of feeding the baby allowed her to relax a little and let her mind wander.
The hide and seek had come to an end. Finally. It had started on an impulse and she had often cursed herself for it, but in her mind it was a one way street.
When she woke up after the ritual, she had realised that she could not leave Hathor and Sekhmet shoved inside a jar for all eternity. Neither goddess deserved that kind of punishment. But Ardeth would not have listened to her, so she took the jars and ran.
Her first impulse had been to go to Cairo, but she had soon realised that it was a stupid idea. Ardeth knew where she had worked and lived, and it would be the first place he would look for her. Besides it might not have been a good idea to march into the biggest city of the country with two ancient goddesses in her backpack. Lilly wasn't even sure what she wanted to do with the Canopic Jars. When she took them, her intention had been to find them new hosts as first planned in the ritual but once she had calmed herself, she had realised that it was a stupid idea.
That was the moment where she should have turned around but didn't. She had betrayed Ardeth to free both goddesses and spare them eternal imprisonment only to go against her own plan the very minute she had the chance to follow through with it.
Her heart said to go back but her head won the battle and she led her horse towards Luxor. More precisely Deir-el-Medina. It was not all that far from the ritual site and Lilly remembered there was an old Hathor temple where she could hide the Canopic Jars. If she could not grant them freedom, she could at least bury them in a worthy place.
She knew instinctually how to direct her horse through the desert and where to look for the temple, so that she reached her goal in two days. A vision of its former beauty had flickered before her inner eye and it was sad to see what little remained of the once impressive building. However, the sanctuary was still there and undiscovered. Hidden behind a wall that slid to the side after she pushed the right stone to the side. It was almost as if she still had Hathor in her, directing her movements and feeding her with information. Lilly tried not to think to much about it.
The loss of the goddess hurt like the loss of a limp. Even Sekhmet's absence pained her which did not make much sense given their rather violent relationship. But their separation was still fresh and raw like a recent wound. It would probably take time to heal. Maybe the knowledge and memories from them would fade with time. Secretly though Lilly hoped they would remain.
Inside the sanctum she had hesitated and once more thought about releasing them. Her hand hovered over the Jars. It would only take a simple touch and maybe things would turn for the better.
She had just lost everything. Her former life, her lover, her companions. Leaving the jars inside the old temple felt like burying her old life. It wasn't fair.
That was when the cats appeared. The same cats she had seen on the ritual ground. Maybe it was a sign to release the goddesses? In that moment she had been seriously tempted to open the jars. That way Hathor and Sekhmet could at least find a new host inside the cats. But there was no guarantee that the goddesses wouldn't choose her a second time -or worse Sekhmet would while Hathor was captured inside an animal. With a frustrated grunt her hand turned into a fist and hit the ground.
So, in the end she left the jars behind and gained two cats. They were with her when she moved from city to city in the beginning, lay at her side when she cried herself to sleep at night, clawed out the eyes of a man who tried to rob her, rubbed against her stomach when she found out that she was pregnant and finally moved to Cairo with her. They were here faithful companions and fierce guardians of the twins since the day they were born.
Finding out that she was pregnant was like a shock to her system. It was what finally got her out of her stupor of loneliness and self-pity. Although, she always regarded herself as a modern, educated woman it took her a while to figure out that the dizziness and nausea she felt were not the result of her self-neglect but of her intimacy with Ardeth.
In the short time she was allowed to love Ardeth, she had never thought about the consequences. Her first reaction had been fear. A single, foreign woman raising a child on her own? Without money, a home and help? But her second reaction had followed soon after: Want. She wanted that baby with a fierce, consuming certainty.
Life had thrown many obstacles in her way over the years, but Lilly refused to see the baby as a problem. It was a chance. The beginning of something new.
Money had not been an issue in the end. She was quite comfortable in her funding; it had just taken a bit of time to get access to it without raising too much suspicion. With enough money it had been easy to buy a house, but finding a home had taken her a while.
In the end she had moved back to Cairo. It was risky but felt right as it was the only city that ever felt like a home to her. As long as she kept things simple and kept her head down, she hoped that she would not raise too much attention.
It had worked. Until now.
Barley a day had passed where she had not fantasised about seeing Ardeth gain. Dreamt about him on lonely nights, when memories overwhelmed her. Feared it, when pieces of knowledge popped into her mind which did not belong to her. Longed for him, when she looked into the eyes of their children.
If finding out that she was pregnant felt like a shock, finding out that she was carrying twins made her laugh like a lunatic. How symbolic. It seemed the cosmos had its own weird sense of humour. She had lost parts of herself when they banished Hathor and Sekhmet and with the twins and she gained something wonderful in equal parts when the twins were born.
Everything was in balance.
Ardeth registered when Lilly appeared in front of him again, but he had a hard time to lift his gaze away from his daughter.
A happy gurgling sound reminded him that he had a daughter and a son.
Still dizzy with the realisation he finally looked up.
Lilly was gently rocking the babe in her arms, but her eyes were on him and she was smiling.
"They were born on the 29th of July. Hashina entered the world with enough noise to wake up the whole neighbourhood. Your son on the other hand was in no hurry at all and kept me waiting a good long while. When he finally made his appearance, he was quiet, but his eyes were open and focused as if he could take in everything around him. His sister calmed down as soon as he joined her, as if she had just missed him."
Ardeth looked at his daughter again, who was happily suckling on his finger and tried to imagine her and her brother's arrival in this world. The birth, their first smile and the first time Lilly held them in her arms. He had missed all of that. Six weeks. But now that he was with them, he would not let them go again. Suddenly he remembered that he did not even know his son's name.
"What is…" His voice cracked. "His name?"
"I named him after our fathers. Aden Nathaniel Blackmoor."
"Bay." He corrected her instantly.
Lilly hesitated just a moment before she nodded. "If you wish."
"Yes."
"Aden and Hashina Bay." Lilly mumbled as if to test the name and reached over to grasp his extended hand. Happy for the physical link he felt brave enough to voice his question.
"What about Lilliana Bay?"
This time the silence was painfully long and his chest felt tight with anticipation before she finally answered with a wobbly voice. "If you wish."
"Yes." He breathed out with obvious relief and pulled her nearer towards him so he could kiss the inside of her hand.
There were so many things that remained unsaid between them and needed to be addressed but that could wait for another time.
An old Arabic saying said: Life consists of two parts: The past – a dream. The future – a wish.
For the first time in longer than he could remember Ardeth did not dwell in the past or thought about the future but simply lived in the present. Happy with the place kismet hat chosen for him.
***End?***