25 September
Dear Harry,
Severus threw his book of pickup lines in a toilet. Sound like a recipe for the reemergence of our friend Myrtle? It was. She drenched him in toilet water and chased him through the castle. I will send pictures when I get them developed.
I wouldn't have imagined Parkinson having the nerve to use the Unforgivables, but I'm glad she got what she deserved. It sounds like she did enough damage to warrant life in Azkaban in the first place, but I doubt that she would have gotten it without having used the Unforgivables. I mean, with what else could they have charged her? Domestic abuse unfortunately has a limited sentence.
We probably shouldn't have pulled that whole stunt in the first place. I mean, we didn't learn much and I got turned into a cat for our troubles! (No, we don't know who did it.)
Love,
Hermione
26 September
Dear Ron,
You bet I know it! Students get into such trouble, it's a wonder that they survive to graduate.
I suggest that you forget about the prank spells and get to work practicing your nonverbal casting. In my experience that's a much better way to achieve things.
Funny you should ask about teachers getting into mischief. Somebody turned my tea into lemon juice this morning. Yes, they certainly do. Not in front of the students of course, but they do. There is a "contagious hex" going around currently. If you've never heard of them, contagious hexes are hexes that spread to anyone who tries to cure them. Half the staff now has "tramp stamp" tattoos of various things. So far Filius has Muggle fast food items, Albus has a dog licking its nuts, Minerva has "Argus Filch is a sexy bitch," and Poppy has the Playwitch logo. I have been smart and not tried to do anything to these interesting little tattoos of theirs, except refer them to Muggle tattoo removal treatments. Hopefully that will work because none of us can figure out how to undo this.
Love,
Hermione