Prompt: Miles Edgeworth meets Miles Edgenghooooooooooooh.

Warning: Some sexual content.

Kink meme memes: Readers here may not get these. Earl Zach is Phoenix Wright's pornstar alias, and Miles/Carrot is a crackship with some growing popularity.

"Witness, please state your name and occupation."

The man on the stand started to laugh in a superior way, shaking his head back and forth: "Hoh hoh hoh..."

Edgeworth, Phoenix, and the Judge all waited silently.

"...hoh hoh," finished the witness eventually, and shook his head a little more dramatically so that his long silvery bangs swung back from his face. "Are you sure you want to know?"

"Eurgh..!" Edgeworth reeled back, glaring. Recovering, he slammed an angry hand down on the table and said, "I am asking, am I not?! Witness! Your name and occupation!"

"Miles," the witness purred.

"Th-that's Mr. Edgeworth to y-"

"Miles Edgenghooooooooooooh," the witness said, with a coy grin. "I'm a porn star specializing in vegetables."

He crossed his arms smugly over his chest and aimed a wink at the defense, for good measure.

"Ghrnnk!" Edgeworth reeled back even further this time, slumping on his desk in a display of wordless fury. "Your real name!" he seethed.

"Yes, this is a murder trial. Please keep the jokes for outside the courtroom," the Judge added.

Phoenix was still just staring blankly. "Oh my god," he noted in a quiet voice that was nonetheless heard by everyone, "he's got the ruffles too."

Indeed, Mr. Edgenghooooooooooooh was wearing a suit in a salmon-pink color only a few shades off from Edgeworth's own favored magenta outfit - and around his neck, there was a cravat. A much smaller cravat, granted, and clearly cheaper just like his suit was - but a cravat nonetheless. For that matter, his dye job was similarly close to a certain prosecutor's own prematurely gray hair.

Edgeworth's eyes narrowed as he took all this in. "You're mocking me," he hissed.

"In porn," Phoenix felt the need to point out. "Vegetable porn."

He covered his mouth before the snort got out but was pretty sure everyone could still hear him giggling. After having to present that humiliating Earl Zach video in a trial, he knew there was actually an audience for courtroom parody porn, but having that phenomenon turned around into something like this-! He'd never dreamed of anything as wonderful as this.

"Hey," he said, "what's the title of your best-selling video?"

"Wright, don't humor him," Edgeworth snarled, but the witness just smiled widely.

"'Ass Investigations' and 'I Carrot About You' are tied at the top of the charts right now," Miles Edgenghooooooooooooh bragged. "There's even talk of a series for the latter."

"W-Wow, congratulations," Phoenix snickered, already whipping his phone out under the desk to begin searching.

"OBJECTION!" Edgeworth shouted, slamming a hand down. He pointed at the witness. "Th-this..! This is slander! How dare you..." His fist clenched on the table, mouth contorted in a grimace, and eyes nearly pupil-less with rage, he truly looked the part of the Demon Prosecutor. "Do you really think you'll get away with this?!"

"Tsk tsk tsk..." the witness scolded, waggling a single finger in front of his face. "Mr. Edgeworth, I think you'll find that all my videos clearly disclaim 'any resemblance to persons living or dead are purely coincidental.'"

"R-right, can't argue with that," Phoenix choked out supportively, between fits of intense silent laughter. He clicked on a random point in the middle of 'I Carrot About You' and waited for it to load.

"Furthermore," the lookalike pornstar went on, "even if you were able to somehow prove that my career is modeled on yours, I think you'll find that the right to parody is protected by law. There's nothing you can do."

"That is true!" the Judge exclaimed.

Spreading his arms out wide and smirking hugely, the witness bowed a very familiar bow.

"Y-you-" Edgeworth fumbled, "mrrph..!"

"Oh, Carrot," moaned a tinny voice from Phoenix's phone. Everyone froze, listening to what just so happened to be the 'climax' of the action: "hah, r-right there...! I knew you'd be a better lover than Banana, y-you're so much harder and longer, it was o-only... hah, mmm, logical!"

"That was such a good scene," Edgenghooooooooooooh reminisced.

The pressure became too much, and Edgeworth lost all composure. Hands clutching at his head, he screamed, "N-NGOOOOOOOOOOOHHH!"

Panting miserably, he slumped on his desk. The entire court stared in sympathy, and Phoenix flipped his phone shut, feeling a little guilty as the silence just went on and on...

"No," corrected the witness, finally. "I told you. My name is Edge-'nghooooooooooooh.' Not Edge-'nngooooooooooohhh.'"

"Please," Miles Edgenghooooooooooooh scolded, arms crossed over his pink jacket, "get it right already."