Chapter 25: How to Set Up a Wedding
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.
All of the students were waiting joyfully to begin their fun day of learning with their beloved Neko-sensei, who had been teaching the class ever since they had been assigned her by the Kazekage. It all seemed to be an adventure as they were being given special training that no other Chunins were getting and they got to go places. Now, since their sensei had a very strict sensei, she was pretty laid back on how she came down on them, but she still made sure that they didn't lolli-gag either. Of course, since their sensei was getting married they had to attend the wedding so it was almost like vacation for them as well, but they were constantly reminded that they were still to be ready for missions. The three brave Chunin who had braved the toughest Chunin exams in the history of any village besides the Mist, decided that they would treat it like a vacation. Unfortunately for them, they had just been called on for a mission.
"Where is Neko-sensei, I want to get this mission over with so I can go back to relaxing," whined Shizuru as she sat back wanting to get the onsens that had the pedicure service as well.
"Don't worry about it, Neko-sensei should be coming soon," said Teme as he started to swing from the swings in the park that they had been sent to. His raven hair was slicked back into a type of spiky-hair style that was growing more common.
"Wrong, your sensei will not be joining us today," said a tall blond man with shades on as he morphed out of the peripheral vision of the trio, much to their shock. "I'll be today's entertainment while your sensei is preparing for her upcoming wedding. Right now your mission is very simple, infiltrate a base with in a small mountain where criminals are believed to be hiding. Any questions and I mean questions not bathed in stupid?"
"What would happen if we asked one," asked Teme being the smart ass that he was, but his friends covered his mouth so he wouldn't make the mistake of saying something else.
"Okay then get ready to leave," said Shenlong as he started to walk off and they released Teme's mouth.
"Why did you stop me from talking," asked Teme as he looked at his friends and then Junpei punched him on the head.
"Dude, I heard this one story about how he snuck into a base for an assassination and beat his target with his own skull," said Junpei with a dead serious scared shitless look on his face.
"That doesn't even seem physically possible," said Teme as he had a "wtf" look on his face.
"That's what he screamed as he was beaten to death," said Shizuru, her own face looked like it caught the same fear.
"Wait so you're telling me that you have a jutsu that can create doors into people's deepest secrets," asked Naruto as he looked at Ino who was talking about the Christmas Party that they were going to have because Christmas was coming soon.
"Yeah my family uses it for interrogations though it does take a lot out of us," said Ino as she noticed that everyone around her was looking at her for some form of anticipation. "Wait, don't tell me you guys want me to actually perform this jutsu so we can look at each other's secrets do you?"
"Come on why not," asked Sakura as she tried to get Ino to permit her to view the lives of others to break the norm of talking about reality television.
"Okay but there will be secrets revealed that no one will want to be revealed," warned Ino as she started to perform the jutsu and everyone noticed that the room had transformed to something like purgatory with walls of abysmal cloudy red. "Well choose a door, the closest one has the biggest secret."
"Wait the first door is Gaara's," said Naruto as he eyed the door like it was something out of a Dr. Sues book. "I mean it's Gaara, what secrets could he possibly have that is that juicy? I mean this guy has a sense of humor that is about as lively as zombies."
"I don't know but I'm finding out," said Keiji as he opened the door and then felt both the sensation of his eyes becoming as wide as dinner plates and his nose began to drip with blood. "Oh my dear god, I didn't know you and Sakura were so close and that she was so comfortable with another woman being in there with you two naked. Is this a threesome?"
"Oh I've got to see this," said both Kankuro and Jiraiya as they looked in there and both developed their own nose bleeds.
"Wait I'd know the double D's anywhere," said Jiraiya as he looked in and then stared back at Tsunade. "My god and you call me a pervert; I can't believe you were even given the position of hokage if you're doing things like this."
"If I'm such a pervert then why are you looking," asked Tsunade as she knocked all of the three the men into the wall of the purgatory area. "I had been walking from just coming from the hotsprings and I then walked out for your information."
"But I remember that night and my threesome porno was louder than usual," said Kankuro as he eyed Tsunade suspiciously and very much naughtily, which earned him a fan slap from his sister.
"I can't even believe that you'd watch that stuff," said Temari as she started to walk away and then eyed Sakura for a bit before saying, "please don't break my brother's heart."
"Don't worry, I promise that I will love Gaara-kun forever," said Sakura as she snuggled into Gaara. Sakura then spied another door that belonged to "Sai." "How about this one?"
"It's probably gonna be that's gay or something that we already know is true," said Naruto as he waved passively. "I mean any guy who talks about penises that much has got to be gay."
"Actually it's the same as Gaara's except from a different perspective," said Kiba a bit confused by it until he saw that someone was sketching in a book. "Who is the person sketching that?"
"Do you have a back door out of this," asked Sai as he whispered in Ino's ears.
"Um sorry but I think I should move away from you," said Ino as she started to back away from him.
"SAI," screamed both Sakura and Gaara in rage.
"Okay moving on to another door," said Ino as she popped open a door that was Kiba's and saw that he was eating out of a bowl that was labeled "Akamaru."
"It's not what it looks like," said Kiba as he tried to back away, but he couldn't save his reputation from it.
"So that's why Akamaru eyes his food suspiciously," teased Neko as she elbowed him in the stomach.
"Well I knew the Inuzuka shared some relations to dogs but never would I guess that," laughed Naruto as he sat back and started to laugh, but Kiba was determined to be the one with the last laugh.
"Oh yeah well this looks like your door," said Kiba as he opened Naruto's door and was greeted with the sight of Hinata in a leather outfit that looked like a corset, but it lacked a cover for her breasts, instead letting it hang out and a pair of leather underwear, all black. In her hand was a whip that was held in a black leather glove and she was motioning for Naruto to come, but before Naruto even entered the picture Kiba had shut the door. "Hinata….I…I just can't even see you as a shy girl anymore….I don't…what the hell happened?"
"I don't get into your personal life," snapped Naruto and he was hushed by Hinata clearing her throat.
"I think new can skip Hinata's door unless anyone is in the mood for bondage," said Keiji as he started to head to another door, a door that belonged to Kakashi. "I wander what deep dark secret he could have?"
Keiji, with an attentive audience behind him, opened the door to reveal Kakashi escorting a woman into a hotel, probably for a mission since she didn't have her arm around him and he didn't have his trademark book out. Then the scene showed them walking into a lobby that had a sign that seemed to peek Kakashi's interest, in fact it seemed as if the sign had left him speechless and in a state of shock and…well just shock. On the sign was written, "Welcome Yaoi-con 2000." Everyone turned to look back at Kakashi who had paled in skin, from what they could see, and had started to shake awfully.
"Those were bad memories…bad memories," said Kakashi and nobody felt like saying anything else on the matter.