In this chapter I tried to describe the Walrider's texture but I highly doubt I did a good job at it, so if you wanna see the official model and texture from the game check it out on the Outlast wikia gallery, I would leave a link but this site doesn't allow any sort of links, so if you want you could check this story under the same title, under my same username on archieveofourown, I have a link on this chapter there.
Probably everyone reading this has already seen those pictures before but I just wanted to clarify.
Carefully stepping over to the toilet, she used the paper to soak up the water from the floor until it was safe enough to walk on without slipping, then cleaned the traces of red from both the bathtub and herself. After putting on a white bathrobe, she brushed and blow-dried her hair; she was a bit surprised by the way the new color looked on her, it felt unfamiliar, but she had to admit she somewhat liked it, and told herself she would eventually grow used to it.
While still in the bathroom, she heard the channel on the TV change again, and when she stepped into the bedroom, she noticed the Walrider sitting on the bench, resting his head in his skeletal hand, partially facing the TV, on which the channels seemed to change by themselves every few seconds. The sight made a faint smile appear on her face, it seemed like a vast difference from the way she first met him, ripping people to shreds and smearing their blood and guts over the walls, but she quickly recalled that he was very much capable of doing those same things right there and then if he deemed it necessary.
She swallowed, and her eyes lingered on his exposed spine before she checked her phone, but noticed there was no message or call from the car body shop. Grabbing her disassembled smartphone as well, she laid on the bed on her back and told herself she shouldn't expect the job to be done already, seeing as not much time had passed yet.
Lazily, she turned her head towards the TV, which had been set on a news channel, she watched it silently for a few minutes, then exhaled softly in disappointment when nothing relevant to Murkoff was shown. Handling the battery of her smartphone, she felt very tempted to put them back together, even without the SIM card, but decided against it, unable to shake the feeling that it might be too risky. Grabbing the other, old model phone, she buttoned through it for a few minutes, in an attempt to find anything at least mildly entertaining, but gently tossed it aside next to her on the bed when her search came up empty.
She yawned mostly out of boredom while staring at the ceiling, and almost mumbled
"Funny how you only realize how much you need to listen to music when you can't do it for a few days in a row…"
The Walrider didn't turn to look at her "What is it now?.."
Alyssa shook her head gently "Nothing, just.. Can't use my phone, nothing on TV.. I'm gonna grow insanely bored today, until they fix the car.." she paused briefly as she glanced out the window "Can we go for a walk outside?"
But he quickly cut short what little enthusiasm she had upon asking the question "No. Unnecessary exposure."
She didn't bother trying to suppress a groan as she lazily rolled over and muffled it in the blanket. When she grew a little too grumpy at her lack of occupation over the next few minutes, she suddenly realized something that made her annoyance deflate.
Ugh, relax, he's been kept against his will in all sorts of horrible places for what, decades? And you can't even wait a day or less in a fancy hotel room…
Her thoughts brought some needed patience back to her, but when she rolled over, she almost jumped when she didn't see the swarm anymore. In a second, she shot up off the bed and quickly looked around, then in the bathroom, and upon failing to find him, grew more than a little distressed.
She strode up to the door and with slightly trembling hands, attempted to unlock it, but the key refused to move no matter how hard she tried to twist it.
What the hell?!
The panic began to rise in her, both trapped and separated from him, she felt that same irrational fear she had felt before when he was too far away, it made her slam her shoulder against the door, but the sturdy material hadn't even budged.
In desperation, she took the key out of the lock and inspected it, nothing seemed to be wrong with it, yet when she placed it back inside with some difficulty and tried to twist it, it still refused to rotate even a millimeter.
"Shit, shit, shit!" She whispered to herself as her heart thumped harder against her chest, and walked away from the stubborn door in defeat. She ran her hands through her new red hair, trying to both calm herself and think of a way out, then noticed the phone on the bed. Unable to find the rational patience to simply wait, she quickly grabbed the phone and her lightly trembling fingers began searching for Waylon's number.
Just before she pressed the call button, her thumb stopped over it as the inexplicable panic within her started to settle down. She glanced around at the empty room with a puzzled frown, only hearing the sound of her own thumping heart.
What the heck is going on?..
Less than a minute later, she noticed the dark mist beginning to flow inside the room from underneath the door, and the sense of relief she felt was so intense she dropped herself on the bed with a few bounces, then rested her head in her palms, not watching as the mist reshaped itself into the form of the Walrider.
A heavy sigh escaped her while her heart steadily calmed and her breath returned to normal, but she didn't look up
"Why is this happening?!" her frustration over the bizarre anxiety that overwhelmed her whenever she was separated from him was starting to become too much to handle.
Instead of an answer, she flinched upon feeling something light landing in her lap, and when she looked down, she noticed a large silver smartphone, its camera blocked by a dark layer of nanites
"Wh.." she mumbled as she picked up the device, pressed a side button and blinked when the screen lit up to the home screen.
"Do not answer any calls or messages, and wipe your fingerprints after you're done." The Walrider said as he floated past her, and Alyssa's gaze shifted from the phone to him
"Where the heck did you get this?" she asked with incredulous curiosity
The swarm briefly pointed up casually "The sleeping rich fat bastard on the penthouse suite."
Alyssa suppressed a smile semi-successfully, and shook her head slowly "This is wrong…" she said, but she already began navigating to the settings to mute all incoming calls and messages.
"Is that so? I will return it then." The purpose of his statement was only to test her, he began floating towards her, but he wasn't surprised when she crawled away on the bed with the phone in hand and the smirk still on her face
"Oh, on second thought, I think the rich fat bastard can make a little sacrifice…" she rolled on her stomach and connected to the hotel's free Wi-Fi internet "What you don't know won't hurt you."
Admittedly, she felt a little guilty, but she told herself she would insist he later returns the phone to the penthouse at the top of the hotel, and having a relief from the boredom was too tempting to refuse. After connecting to the internet, she went in search for music, then placed the phone down on the blanket upon finding and playing a slow calming song. She gently stretched and a soft sigh of content left her as she relaxed on the bed and closed her eyes while the music eased her tension. She laid like that for over half an hour, occasionally switching songs, but time flew so fast it only felt like several minutes to her.
As tempting and easy as it would be to not get up or even to take a nap, she decided against it, not wanting to destabilize her sleep schedule again. Slowly but surely, she got out of bed and began taking her new clothes out of the bag on the futon. After better checking out the backpack, she transferred what few belongings she had with her inside it, and mentally thanked Lisa again for offering to carry her boots in her suitcase, since, despite not being overly large, they would occupy a bit too much space in her backpack.
It was also tempting to try on her new outfit, but again, as much as she liked trying on new clothes, she resisted the urge, and only prepared them for the evening or the following day when they would have to leave the city.
When a song she didn't like started auto-playing, she reached over for the phone and changed it, but instead of getting back up, she lazily dropped her weight on the bed, bouncing a few times.
She laid on her back and relaxed, listening to the music for a few minutes, then gazed over at the foot of the bed, only to see the dark silhouette of the Walrider, who was sitting on the center of the bench, his elbows resting on his thighs while his skeletal hands were clasped together under his chin. A large cloud floated by, allowing the sun to shine inside, illuminating the interior even more, and further accentuating the contrast between the bright room and his blackish-blue shadowy form.
Alyssa realized she was staring, but as far as she knew, he was unaware of it, and she found the nearly perfectly symmetrical dark silhouette against the bright background almost mesmerizing. What she would refuse to admit, was the way her eyes lingered and her gaze slowly slid down the shape of his broad back and muscular arms; in the bright light, she could even see the details of muscle striations.
She figured that he could take any shape he wanted, and couldn't help wondering why he chose this. A few seconds later, she bluntly spoke out
"Why do you look like that?"
She noticed his almost unnoticeable head movement upon hearing her question, and it made her feel slightly nervous when he sat up and turned to her. Trying to keep her eyes from inspecting the front of his body as well, she lightly bit her tongue and blinked at him, attempting to appear merely innocently curious, which, she mostly was.
"My form is more fluid than water, human." He raised a skeletal hand, and within a few seconds, she could see the dark stream of mist that was gathering from the air, merging and blending with the rest of the nanobots on his body. They fully shaped his forearms and hands, and Alyssa swallowed upon noticing the moderately long but pointed claws at the ends of his fingers "Does it bother you?"
It took her a few moments to realize he was referring to his overall shape, not his claws, she shook her head and smiled nervously
"No, not at all." She didn't even consider sharing the fact that she liked his shape more than would be appropriate "I'm just.. curious why you choose to look like this."
Feeling mildly uncomfortable, she briefly averted her gaze from him, but when she glanced back, she noticed his color was beginning to change. Instead of black with a hint of dark blue, he gradually transformed into a medium grey, which, in turn, continued into a silver color. Her eyes grew wider as she watched a number of details begin to materialize on his body in darker shades of grey and black, accentuating the shape of his musculature, as well as making visible several light grey veins running down his arms. It almost appeared as if he was a finely detailed greyscale painting of either a man without skin, or with virtually no fat tissue underneath his skin.
But when she felt her staring became inappropriate, she raised her gaze to his face, and her heart skipped a beat; instead of the dark blank expression she was used to, she was met with a pair of disturbingly intricate and vaguely human eyes, with small piercing grey pupils. Upon seeing the rest of his face, the words 'Rorschach pattern' were the first that came to Alyssa's mind. She had been able to tell that he lacked a nose and ears since a long time ago, not seeing any now didn't surprise her, what did surprise her, though, was the way his mouth seemed sealed shut by the pattern that made up most of his face, and a faint but disturbed frown settled on her own face when she realized she could see some of the white teeth, as the nanobots pattern didn't fully cover the skull in the cheek areas.
As she looked closer with the help of the bright light, however, she began to notice the nanites that formed his body weren't static; like miniature currents, they slowly flowed in different layers and directions, along his musculature and through the pattern on his face. It reminded Alyssa of the smooth fine sand she used to run her hands through when she went to the beach, and the temptation to touch it was present, but she didn't dare attempt it.
"Whoa…" was all Alyssa could whisper as she stared at the new appearance of the swarm in awe "Why did you never do this before?.." she asked timidly after she regained her focus
"This level of detail…" he spoke slowly as he lifted a hand, only to shake it once in a quick motion, and cause a small but considerably dense swarm of nanites to fall off of it, partially exposing the bones underneath "Requires an unsafe concentration of nanobots." Alyssa watched carefully as the falling group of nanites stopped in mid-air, then, like a video played in reverse, began flowing back into his hand, reconstructing it to full detail.
"Unsafe? Are they.. bad for you?" she asked hesitantly, aware of how unlikely that sounded
"No. But I am most efficient when the swarm is at a certain concentration, dispersed throughout a defined area. Too few nanobots in the environment, and I cannot accurately analyze it." When she opened her mouth to speak, he did so before her "And yes, I could give you the precise numbers, but you wouldn't know what to do with them."
A slight pout formed on Alyssa's face upon hearing his remark, but it quickly faded and she averted her gaze from him the moment his piercing sharp pupils were aimed at her.
Jesus, as if he wasn't intimidating enough when he just looked like a three-dimensional shadow.. On the plus side, she told herself that now she would be able to distinguish some expression on his face, at least when it came to his eyes.
"Fine." She tried to sound casual, and much to her luck, a song she didn't like began playing. It gave her a reason to turn her attention to the borrowed phone, she switched the music, and was slightly relieved when she peeked up and noticed the Walrider partially turned away from her.
She kept the phone up to her face, but discreetly glanced back at him, her eyes lingering on the seemingly skinless musculature of his arm, and the idea suddenly sparked in her head. It was something she wanted to know ever since she first read Billy's patient report soon after she sneaked into the asylum, but never really had the chance, nor recalled it, until now.
Biting her lip with some anticipation, she opened up a private search page and typed the word 'Walrider' in, but just before she tapped the search button, her thumb froze over it. She stared at the screen for a few seconds while the gears span in her mind, then quickly erased both the word and what little browsing history she made on the device.
Dammit. Even though she was almost sure it would be safe, her paranoia refused to allow her to feel comfortable doing the search, she couldn't help thinking how it was such a peculiar word. She could have sworn she heard it before, but didn't want to take the risk of being wrong.
What if Murkoff made it up and only the people who worked on Project Walrider are supposed to know the word? No way, I don't trust this so-called private search.
A faint cautious frown formed on her face as she made her decision, and placed the phone next to her on the bed; despite her unwillingness to search online for the meaning of the word, she still very much wanted to know it. Her gaze returned to the Walrider as she quickly realized she could simply ask him instead. She was somewhat reluctant, but decided to get her question out before she overthought it and changed her mind
"This might sound out of the blue, but… What does 'Walrider' mean anyway? I'm not sure, but I think I heard it before a long time ago, I can't remember details, and.. well call me paranoid but I don't feel safe enough to look it up on the internet. Is it something Murkoff scientists made up?"
Upon hearing her words, he turned back to her, but the slow manner in which he moved made her slightly uncomfortable
"The Walrider." He sounded almost thoughtful, he paused briefly while raising his right hand and gazing down at it "You want to know what it is?"
Alyssa watched him with a slight wary frown, then looked down at the bed when his piercing grey eyes turned to her, but she still nodded.
With the same hand, he simply flicked his index finger from under his thumb in her direction, and she instantly regretted her question and confirmation. A powerful invisible force suddenly knocked her back, her head hit the soft pillow, but her shoulders felt glued to the bed, as if something was holding her down by them
"What the heck-" she whined as she struggled in vain to squirm away "-are you doing?!"
Instinctively, she kicked her legs around and used them to push herself above the mattress, it partially worked, as only her shoulders felt pinned down, but it was enough to keep her in place. Her heart threatened to thump out of her chest even harder when she looked between her legs only to see him slowly float up and step on the bed towards her
"T-this isn't funny, please stop!" she pleaded, even though her rational mind knew that he shouldn't hurt her, she couldn't suppress the escalating fear.
She inhaled sharply when his foot landed on her knee, she could feel it, but the weight and pressure was very light, the same as when he next stepped on her hip, then stopped right on her abdomen and crouched, looking down at her. It didn't take her long to realize that her ankles and wrists were now immobilized as well, but she was too shocked to continue struggling regardless.
"The Walrider…" he started in a slow, almost casual manner, and Alyssa held back a whimper, turning her attention to his words "Is a bothersome fiend. It crawls up on sleeping humans." She could have sworn that slowly but surely, she could feel his weight on her increasing "It spawns nightmares in their mind, it settles on their chest, and presses down." At first, she considered it could have been just her imagination due to the frightening situation, but now there was no mistaking it, she was finding it noticeably difficult to draw air into her lungs, the pressure on her chest was increasing "Takes their breath away." Some panic began rising within her at the slight but slowly increasing lack of oxygen, she tried to roll away, but wasn't surprised when her efforts proved to be in vain "It compresses the rib cage, gradually, heavier and heavier…" she was, however, appreciative of the fact that at the very least, the weight on her own rib cage did not further increase, but her inability to breathe freely still upset her "Until the crushing weight awakens the asphyxiating, terrified human."
She only looked up at him pleadingly and raised her voice "Stop!"
With surprising speed, he swiftly hopped off her torso, placing his knees on the bed at the sides of her hips, without touching her. The moment he did so, all the pressure around Alyssa's chest vanished, and she took in a deep inhale and exhale. Her hand rushed to her chest over her heavily thumping heart, not fully aware of the fact that she could now move freely.
"Of course, all of that is mere human mythology." He spoke in the same casual manner while Alyssa dared to aim her frown at him, still catching her breath, but more out of anxiety than actual, significant lack of oxygen "An early superstitious tale created as an explanation for the real phenomena of sleep paralysis and apnea."
She carefully began pulling her legs from under him, until he abruptly stood up and floated off the bed, towards the window
"That demonstration was.. really not necessary.." she spoke as her breath returned to normal and pushed herself up, supporting her upper body on her elbow. The light in the room grew noticeably dimmer as a larger, medium grey cloud blocked the sun rays, but the lack of brightness only felt more comfortable to Alyssa's eyes "So.. that's what it was. I knew I read it somewhere.. some sort of horror story website.." her voice was barely above a whisper, and she mostly mumbled to herself, thinking out loud.
After a rather long pause, she pushed herself up further to sit on the bed and loosely crossed her legs yoga style. Just a few moments later, she quietly but frantically brought them back together tightly and moved over to the edge of the bed when she recalled that she wasn't wearing anything underneath the bathrobe, but much to her relief, he wasn't facing her.
"Mythological creature.. so if you're not it, then, what? What's your real name?" she asked somewhat reluctantly and returned her gaze to him.
The Walrider glanced back at her over his shoulder slowly "Which name, human?" he stepped to the window in an almost lazy manner, then sat on the floor as before, leaning his back against the glass "They typically give us one per each life…"
A small puzzled frown set on Alyssa's face upon hearing his words, she paused briefly and scooted closer to the foot of the bed to see him
"What.. do you mean? Have you had, like, more than one life or something?.."
"Far more than I can remember here." He spoke matter-of-factly, then noticed the bewildered and almost shocked expression on his host's face. His shoulders rose slightly then dropped, as in a sighing motion "So humans here don't even know that.." his words were more of a realization to himself than a comment towards her.
When Alyssa recollected herself, she sounded almost excited "No, no! I-I know about that, some of us do, it's uh, like a religion, some people believe in that, but holy shit, I never thought it was real!" she tried to keep her mouth closed as her mind raced with all the bizarre beliefs she used to read about, mostly in Eastern philosophy.
"Hn. What did you think, then?" he asked with rather faux interest
His question gave Alyssa pause, her gaze dropped to the floor as she recalled past memories "I don't really know, honestly… My mom is a Catholic, we used to go to church when I was little. They kept saying that once we die, if we love God, we're gonna go to a nice place called Heaven and live there in peace with everyone forever." An almost nostalgic sigh left her, followed by a mostly unamused faint smirk "I know it's rich coming from me, given the situation we're in, but living in peace and quiet forever and ever sounds… damn boring to me."
"So your faith does not lie there." It was more of a statement than a question, and Alyssa nodded
"Afraid not."
The swarm shrugged, then leaned his head back slightly until it hit the glass "It doesn't matter."
The fact that he sounded like that was all he was willing to say on the subject almost riled up Alyssa, she raised her voice a few hairs and scooted rather quickly to the edge of the bed
"What do you mean it doesn't matter?! Maybe it doesn't matter to you because you've been through it, but it's one of the biggest questions humanity ever asked since we grew the brain for it! I mean.. how does it even work? We just die and come back as someone else? How, why?"
It disheartened her that she could tell from his body language that he didn't seem in the mood to talk, but she waited patiently for an answer. After a rather long and tense pause on her part, he finally spoke, almost startling her
"Consciousness never dies, human… It exists in three dimensions at the least, simultaneously." He started, but Alyssa interrupted somewhat impulsively
"What, we exist in 2d space too?" she asked with a puzzled frown, then quickly silenced herself and looked away when he aimed his piercing grey eyes at her
"No… the third, fourth and fifth dimension. Once your body dies, your consciousness ceases to exist in the third, you depart from this realm, then, eventually, choose another life to be born into."
She slightly cocked her head to the side curiously "What are those like? The others, the fourth and fifth? Where are they?" It almost amused him that she briefly glanced around, as if trying to see them
"Typically brighter than the third. But there are multiple… levels, I suppose, for lack of a better term. They are all right here, they exist everywhere, always, but you cannot access them in your current state." The puzzled frown returned to her face, and he continued before she could ask for details "They are separated through vibrational frequency. Only your consciousness can access them, once it changes its frequency sufficiently, like during the time when you dream, or even further, after death."
"When.. we dream? How is dreaming related to dying?"
"They share the similarity of shifting frequency, thus shifting realms. With the exception, of course, that your consciousness cannot shift back to this realm if your flesh body is dead. It can only observe from other dimensions, without the ability of direct interaction."
Alyssa's gaze dropped to the floor but stared at nothing in particular, her mind instead raced with the new influx of surreal information "This is already starting to be too much for me, but.. What exactly do you mean with frequency, how does that relate to dimensions?" she sounded like she genuinely didn't have a clue, which slightly surprised the swarm, but he decided to explain to get it over with
"Do you know what an atom is?"
She felt tempted to cross her arms, but refrained from it "Yes.. I'm not an idiot."
"Atoms are virtually entirely empty space. The only reason a cluster of atoms creates the illusion of solidity is due to the fact that its electrons are repulsed by other electrons, thus, they will never touch, they will never allow matter to pass through matter."
He paused for just a second, and Alyssa's mouth spoke without her "I don't really see how this answers-"
"Be quiet!"
She physically flinched when he suddenly raised his voice and sounded rather annoyed; she mumbled a barely audible "Sorry" and remained silent
"The only seemingly solid elements of an atom are in actuality made of a vibrational frequency, a very low, dense frequency, at that, this dense vibration produces the illusion of solidity rather efficiently. Each realm's atoms vibrate at a specific different frequency, making them unable to be seen or interacted with unless that frequency is matched, and that is how they are separated from each other." He was not at all surprised to see that the bewildered expression returned to her face, but said nothing else, it had been bothersome enough to explain, even in the shortest way possible, what to him was basic reality.
Alyssa slowly ran her hand down her face, then quietly walked to the bathroom. When she returned, she sat on the bench at the end of the bed, crossing one leg over the other, and looked in the distance through the window
"I'm not going to pretend I can fully comprehend all that… But thank you for telling me. Still, what about you? You said before you got here you were in a dark place?"
His hesitation to speak made her wonder if she had accidentally asked for details on something personal, but he answered a few longs seconds later
"As I mentioned before, there are multiple levels. Countless, in fact. As with all the others, they are separated through frequency, the lower the frequency, the darker the realm, and the darker the souls lurking through it…"
Alyssa already didn't like where he was going, but didn't interrupt him
"Perhaps you wonder, but no, it was not Hell, I do not come from Hell, unlike what the superstitious Germans liked to rave."
Upon hearing those words, a breath of relief left her that she wasn't aware she was holding, even though he had told her that before, she still found it a comforting reminder
"I have not lived in flesh in over.. what would be fifty thousand years on this planet."
Alyssa's jaw dropped slightly and a frown of disbelief formed on her face at that "Wh.. wow.. May I ask why not?" she asked with some caution, but he shrugged lightly, and sounded almost nostalgic
"I grew tired of it. I kept.. remembering. Death, birth, death, birth, countless families, countless tragedies, I was sick of it, so I decided to resign myself to the life between lives for a long time. But as the millennia passed, I.. strayed. Farther and farther, I was drawn to the darkness, the realms below." she only watched him, her expression turning rather cautious as she listened "I haunted those realms until I saw that light, and I already told you what happened from then onwards."
A long sigh left Alyssa, she rested her chin in her hand and her elbow over her knee, remaining thoughtfully silent for a few moments "Do you remember anything else between that light and waking up here?.."
"I.. thought about it. There was nothing else. Not a single clue."
His words conjured up a faint but noticeable sense of sadness in her, she swallowed and her voice came almost as a whisper "We have to find Wernicke.." She looked through the glass down at the street level, her gaze slowly rising towards the horizon, it was obvious how massive just the city alone was, and it was only one city, in one state, in one country, on the entire planet. It was easy to understand why the Walrider didn't have high hopes of finding the old scientist. She allowed her eyelids to drop, trying to calm her mind racing with the arrival of all the new bizarre information, then flinched upon hearing the swarm's dark gravelly chuckle
"I suppose it is funny… When we are alive we do our best to avoid death. And now I cannot have it."
Alyssa bit her lip lightly "You.. want to die?" she asked with some disbelief in her tone
"What I want is answers." He sounded mildly irate, she nodded quickly and tried to lighten the atmosphere
"We'll find the bastard and squeeze all the answers out of him. Gently. I mean, a light breeze could probably do him in, we have to be careful."
"I don't do 'gentle', human."
She tried to make her recoil not noticeable, but remained thoughtfully silent for a long minute. Her gaze drifted towards the TV screen, she considered grabbing the remote and flipping to a news channel, but she doubted there already were any new developments in the asylum trial.
Scooting back on the bed, she grabbed the phone and tried to find a more cheerful song, her fingers tapped and scrolled the screen in search at first, but her mind quickly began returning to the things they discussed, and the stranger's phone in her hand roused a thought in her. Even though it was important to her, she felt reluctant to bring it up, due to all her inexplicable feelings associated with it, but she insisted to herself it was something she needed to speak out. After another minute of mental debate, she finally convinced herself to break the silence
"Could any of this explain anything about my freak outs?" she felt just a tinge of anxiety when he turned his head towards her
"How many times must I repeat this? I cannot read your mind, explain yourself."
Alyssa swallowed and took a deep breath, not looking forward to spilling it all out, but pushed herself to speak, in the hopes of receiving some much needed answers
"Alright, look.. I consider myself a very cautious person. I know, I know, that's rich coming from someone who snuck into an asylum for the criminally insane, but I felt I had no choice, and it took me a very long time to convince myself to do it. But I digress…" she paused briefly and cleared her throat, but it was mostly to mentally motivate herself to continue "I'm actually rather paranoid, sometimes to an unhealthy extent, I usually thoroughly think something over repeatedly before I make an important decision and like to be prepared and cautious. Obviously that's something I can't always afford while I'm on the run with few resources, but my point is.. I don't put myself in dangerous situations without a logical reason or as a last resort." She exhaled deeply, feeling more than a little uncomfortable "And yet I've done some very impulsive dangerous things lately, driven by.. by emotions and urges I don't understand and never felt before in my life."
She was taken aback when he suddenly spoke, his tone sounded amused, even almost playful, but his gruff voice made it seem more intimidating
"Such as?.."
Alyssa raised her feet up and hugged her knees to her chest "Such as getting out of my safe warm car and out into a storm and running to where a car crashed with armed people who tried to murder me just minutes before, instead of waiting or driving away.." she shook her head lightly and allowed her eyelids to droop "It only happens when you're away.. It makes me feel very.. unsafe. And I feel compelled to.. find you." Her discomfort was somewhat interrupted by his quick answer
"Naturally. Murkoff may not know exactly who you are, but they still want my host's head, I'm the only one who can prevent that."
But she shook her head "No, I-I mean yes, that's true, but.. it's not the only reason." She took another deep breath and pushed herself to speak "I don't understand it, but it's like.. a deeper connection?" She hesitantly glanced at him when she received no response, but he still said nothing, so she questioned, still uneasy "Do you know anything about it? Why is it happening to me?"
The Walrider shrugged lightly "Who knows…" his tone seemed rather tired, it discouraged Alyssa from wanting to continue the already uncomfortable topic, then almost choked on her own saliva when he finished "Perhaps we were lovers in a past life."
She coughed a few times and cleared her throat, she turned her head to the side just in case the warmth in her cheeks was visible, but didn't want more awkward silence, so she quickly asked
"W-what are the chances of that?"
The swarm paused thoughtfully and spoke casually "Countless souls, living countless lives, in countless worlds… What do you think?"
Alyssa slowly turned to look out through the window, the gears in her mind span in an attempt to comprehend the potential infinity, but she soon gave up "That's.. but.." she shook her head gently "My head hurts.."
When he said nothing in response, she grabbed the TV remote and flipped through channels, mostly to distract herself. Reaching a news channel, she was slightly disappointed to see nothing related to Murkoff, but she lowered the volume and left the TV on to play in the background in the hopes that something important would eventually air.
As the day passed almost painfully slowly, Lisa suggested they all go out to dinner, but Waylon decided it was unnecessarily risky to leave the hotel again and roam the city around CCTV cameras, so they all had dinner in their rooms. Alyssa checked her phone for what felt like the fiftieth time, but found no messages from the car body shop; ironically, it was the borrowed phone that kept receiving messages and a few calls that she ignored
"Think it's time we return this." She said after wiping her fingerprints from the stranger's smartphone when it was getting late, and slightly flinched when the device suddenly floated out of her hand. It glided towards the door, followed by the Walrider, whose form dissipated into a grey cloud, and flowed underneath the door, then turned increasingly less visible as it scattered in the air of the hallway.
Alyssa waited with just a tinge of nervousness, it was far easier when she knew that he left and that he was going to come back within a few minutes, she stepped over to the bed, and the fear of gruesome nightmares returned almost immediately. A soft tired sigh left her, she wished the swarm wouldn't sit on the floor the entire night again, since she wanted to keep the nightmares at bay again, but did not look forward to waking up stiff in the morning as before.
When he returned, he reshaped his previous form, but much to her chagrin, he did sit in the same spot as last night. A random and rather daring thought surfaced in her mind, for a moment she considered asking him to sit on the bed with her, but quickly dismissed the idea.
Once she made sure everything was ready for tomorrow, she slowly picked up a large pillow from the bed, and walked over to the window. The Walrider glanced over at her, but neither of them said anything, she placed the pillow on the floor, partly leaning it on the window, then slowly laid down and rested her head on it. A small groan left her at the feeling of the hard floor under her, but she couldn't complain, it was far better than a soft bed from which she would wake up screaming and crying after another round of unbearable nightmares.
This time around, it wasn't as easy to fall asleep, partly due to the fact that she hadn't woken up too early, and it wasn't too late at night, but mostly thanks to the unpleasant feeling of the rigid floor against her ribs. A few mumbled cusses escaped her, she tossed and turned for over twenty minutes, only wishing she would fall asleep so they could leave the city in the morning. After what to her felt like a long, irritating hour of trying to be comfortable, she decided to simply stop moving in the hopes that sleep would finally take her. Eventually, her wish was granted, and she fell into mentally peaceful but physically harsh sleep.
The Walrider gazed down at her with a sliver of pity; at least compared to the life she was used to, she had been through hell for the past days, and he had a strong suspicion that things were going to get much worse before they got better, but she couldn't even get a good night's sleep.
He thought back to what she squirmed so much trying to explain to him, and admittedly, she did feel different from previous hosts, but he had no clue why, and he didn't bother attempting to figure it out. He told himself it could be a myriad of reasons, the human brain was extremely complex by itself, introduce alien elements like the symbiotic relation between one consciousness contained within a flesh body and an unconfined one, and bizarre symptoms that could differ case by case shouldn't be a surprise.
A couple hours later, he decided to haunt around in the hotel, on the off chance that he might come across any potential threat, but mostly out of a lack of occupation. When he returned, he found his host sleeping in the same awkward position on the rigid cold floor, her sleep was deeper than before, but apart from that, nothing else had changed.
After a few seconds of consideration, he floated over to her and carefully sneaked his arms under her knees and her back; when he lifted her up, he could barely feel any weight, but it didn't surprise him, considering the fact that tossing around the giant Chris Walker had felt like throwing a ragdoll to him.
He slowly floated over to the bed and placed her on the blanket, but he didn't forget the way she woke up terrified the previous night. It was rare for him to feel indecisive, he glanced down at her peacefully sleeping body, not looking forward to when she would wake up screaming and crying after another bout of nightmares, and finally gave in.
Without disturbing a hair, he silently hopped on the bed and laid down next to her. The mattress was fitting for an average human, but his feet hung off the end of it, not that it bothered him, he placed his hands under his head and, with nothing else left to do, simply began waiting the night out.
It was odd in a way, being held captive ever since he set foot into this world made him become patient, but only selectively so, he found it rather easy to wait for long periods of time, yet he was quite impatient when it came to dealing with humans.
Alyssa remained asleep, but grew noticeably comfortable on the soft mattress, as the time passed, she occasionally tossed and turned over on the blanket, without fully waking up.
A few hours before sunrise, she slightly surprised him when she rolled into him in her sleep, her knee landed over his thigh, while her face and arm rested against his chest. He gazed down at her in mild curiosity, but he hadn't moved since he laid down, and found no real reason to move now. Even more so, a thought crossed his mind, perhaps it would be amusing to witness her reaction to what she had unconsciously done herself after she woke up.
The night sky was mostly cloudy, and remained relatively unchanged after the sun rose. When Alyssa's sleep grew lighter, she became aware of the soft mattress she was laying on, but especially so of the velvety feeling on her face. Partially asleep, she very slowly moved her head side to side in order to rub her cheek against the silky sensation, then, when her finger twitched, she realized it was present under her fingertips as well.
Still barely conscious but craving the velvety feeling, her hand began moving ahead slowly, and a soft sigh of content left her. She lazily dragged her fingers downwards, then a curious thought rose in her mind when passing over a rectangular bump, but she was too unaware to register anything other than the luscious silky sensation. Only when her hand traced over two more similar rigid bumps did she start putting the pieces together as her mind began waking up.
From that point onwards, it didn't take her long to remember and realize where she was, and especially what she had just done. Not only did the understanding come rather gradually, but she was also too deeply physically relaxed to suddenly jump away. Instead of panicking, she quickly froze in tension for a few seconds, then somewhat relaxed, but her heart continued to thump heavily against her chest. She cautiously retreated her slightly quivering hand and opened one eye warily, but felt very reluctant to look up at him. He wasn't surprised at all of the first word that came out of her mouth
"Sorry.." it was barely audible, and it was easy to tell how embarrassed she was both from her rosy cheeks and by the tone of her voice.